#439, #122: Mime Jr. & Mr. Mime

James from Team Rocket had a Mime Jr. from seasons 9 to 13. It
is probably using the move Attract in this image or something; I
don't even care. 

Oh my God, I hate clowns. And mimes. They're so fucking creepy.

And they just had to make Pokémon based off of them. Another goddamn baby Pokémon at that, too; like, you have got to be shitting me. As if Mr. Mime actually needed a pre-evolution. Just like any other baby Pokémon (barring Pichu, who can learn Volt Tackle trough breeding, and Togepi and Riolu, whom I consider basic forms rather than baby forms and who were introduced alongside their evolutions Togetic and Lucario in their respective generations), Mime Jr. serves absolutely no purpose other than being a Pokédex filler. Don't get me wrong; I actually like most baby Pokémon design-wise, but they're such pointless additions to the games from Ruby and Sapphire onwards. Breeding was introduced in Gold and Silver and I can live with the likes of Magby and Pichu and such, but baby Pokémon became redundant after that and Game Freak should have just focused on completely new, independent Pokémon not related to Pokémon that already existed and not on the latter's younger and weaker forms. Mime Jr. is one of those redundant babies, and it isn't even a good one in my opinion, because it just looks silly.

Papercraft Mime Jr. and Mr. Mime. NOW GO ON AND TELL ME
THAT MR. MIME ISN'T CREEPY, GODDAMMIT! 

But what is up with this mimicry thing of baby Pokémon in Gen. IV? I noticed that they always try to mimic one thing or another, whether it be their evolution (Happiny), other people or Pokémon (Mime Jr.) or even inanimate objects (Bonsly, whom I will write about when it's Sudowoodo's turn to show up here). Mime Jr. is doing nothing but clowning around, mimicking other people's expressions and motions to understand their feelings or imitating foes in order to create distractions and escape once they are confused. That is so typically a mime thing to do, and that is exactly why I hate those people. And I should prepare to get annoyed some more right now, because I am going on to Mr. Mime; and Mr. Mime (who actually has a 50/50 gender ratio despite its name) is a lot worse than its pre-evolution. Being an excellent pantomime, this Pokémon can solidify air molecules by vibrating its fingertips, creating actual invisible barriers. Don't disturb its act though, because it will slap you to hell and back when you do.

SEE? I KNEW MIMES WERE SECRETLY VIOLENT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Yes. Yes, this is exactly how I see Mr. Mime:
creepy as fuck.

All jokes aside, I'll acknowledge Mr. Mime's utility as a competitive battler. Although the psychic type has lost its appeal a little since the type got nerfed in Gold and Silver, Mr. Mime received a very useful typing in X and Y: fairy (don't ask me why this clown is a fairy type; I don't know and I honestly don't care, either). Unfortunately, its HP and defense aren't all that, but it makes that up with some decent speed and excellent special attack and special defense stats. Besides, it can reduce super-effective damage by ¼ with the Filter ability or it can prevent sound-based moves from having effect on it with the Soundproof ability. Furthermore, Mr. Mime has access to an ability called Technician, with which it can increase moves with a base power of 60 or less by 1.5. In Mr. Mime's case, this could potentially be applied to Confusion, Icy Wind, Shock Wave, Charge Beam, Confusion and Hidden Power, but it is generally better to run another moveset combined with one of the first two abilities I mentioned. Thunderbolt, Future Sight, Signal Beam, Shadow Ball, Psyshock, Energy Ball, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam and Psychic are viable options, but usually the last three moves are used. Occasionally, a status move like Nasty Plot (increases Mr. Mime's special attack by two stages) or Healing Wish (lets Mr. Mime faint, but fully heals the next Pokémon coming in) is thrown in for support or setting up. So, what about natures and items? Well, a Timid nature is the best option, but you could go for a Modest nature combined with a Choice Scarf. If that's not your cup of tea, the Choice Specs or a Life Orb are great options, as is an Assault Vest. That increases Mr. Mime's already high special defense by 50%, but only lets it use damaging moves.

Wow, this takes 'creepy' to a whole new level. I know Mr. Mime is exactly that, but
this is almost nightmarish...

Oh God, did I mention that I hate clowns? And mimes? Well, I do. And it's not that I think Mr. Mime is a bad Pokémon per se, but its design and flavor really don't appeal to me.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' YOUR SHENANIGANS, BITCH!

Ugh, I think Mr. Mime is creepier than most Pokémon with so-called horror Pokédex entries such as Banette, Drifloon or Drowzee and Hypno (and those are only a few of them). I've developed a very, very strong dislike towards this Pokémon that is never ever gonna go away, and I don't think I want it to go away in the first place. I'll probably never hate it as much as I hate Lickilicky and Pelipper, but that won't stop me from giving this motherfucker only 0.5 stars, which is nothing to write home about...

Rating: 0.5/5