donderdag 15 september 2016

#241: Miltank

No, you didn't miss any articles here. Nos. 236 to 240 are Tyrogue, Hitmontop, Smoochum, Elekid and Magby, which I discussed in previous entries already. Next up we have everyone's favorite Pokémon owned by a Gym Leader: Miltank.

Ash's Cyndaquil sucking on one of the teats on Miltank's udder.
Nothing sugestive about that. (!)
Yup, while Whitney's Clefairy is 'fairily' easy to defeat - excuse the dumb pun - her Miltank is infamous for being the one Pokémon in Pokémon Gold and Silver that keeps bodying your entire team only three Gyms in. You're lucky Whitney had the presence of mind to take it easy on us by replacing Defense Curl with Attract, because Defense Curl would have allowed her Miltank to Rollout you straight into oblivion (which it already did without Defense Curl). That's a good enough strategy for in-game purposes, but in the competitive scene Miltank is supposed to be a bulky bitch. Its HP and defense are excellent, and even its mediocre special defense is compensated by its HP stat. Heck, you could even give it a Careful nature and max out its special defense until you'll be sure it can take special hits as well. It's a great support Pokémon with a great support movepool, including Toxic and Thunder Wave to inflict a status condition on the opponent, Heal Bell to get rid of all status conditions inflicted on your Pokémon, Milk Drink for its own recovery only, and Stealth Rock to set up an entry hazard.

This Miltank is not amused by Ash brushing its back. 

Another option is to let it set up with Curse, which raises its attack and defense by one stage each but lowers its speed, so that it can run a physical moveset consisting of Curse, Body Slam and two other physical moves of your choice (or one other physical move, if you want to keep Milk Drink for recovery). And you're spoiled for choice, because Miltank's physical movepool is wide: it can learn things like Earthquake, Zen Headbutt, the elemental punches, Iron Head, Rock Slide, Hammer Arm and more. It even learns Gyro Ball, a move that does more damage the slower the user is compared to the opponent, but its base 100 speed makes Miltank pretty speedy for a fat bipedal cow. It does work perfectly in combination with Curse, so it's definitely an option, but for more reliable steel-type damage you should go with Iron Head or Iron Tail. And if you give it the ability Sap Sipper, you'll have a grass-type resistance and a one-stage attack boost every time Miltank is hit by a grass-type move. Again, this works very well with Curse. That is not to say, however, that its other abilities are worthless: Scrappy allows Miltank to hit ghost types with its normal-type moves where otherwise they'd be unharmed by them, and Thick Fat gives it resistances to fire and ice.

A glass of milk a day keeps the doctor away. Yeah, fuck that, I
hate milk.
In contrast to the milk it produces, which is sweet and nutritious and can be used to heal Pokémon - a feature included in the games, outside of battles - and ill or weary humans, Miltank's flavor is really bland. Miltank is based on Jersey cattle (a breed originally bred in the Channel Island of Jersey, UK, and known for the high butterfat content of its milk) and Holstein Friesian cattle (a breed originating from the Dutch provinces of North Holland and Friesland and the German state of Schleswig-Holstein, known as the world's highest-production dairy animals), but whereas normal cows can produce an average of eight gallons of milk a day, Miltank can produce 'only' five gallons. While the milk can be enjoyed by children, adolescents and grown-ups alike, it is said that kids who drink Miltank milk while growing up become hearty, healthy adults. Yeah, that is often said about real-life milk too. However, I hate milk and I adamantly refused to drink it, and I'd dare say I'm pretty healthy otherwise. That's not all, though: Miltank's milk can be turned into yogurt instead for people who can't drink the milk. No shit, I'll bet you can easily make butter and cheese from Miltank milk as well; I assume that shouldn't be too hard.

Come on, Game Freak, I don't mind some real-life references, but this is Pokémon we're talking about and I expect their characteristics to be a little bit more outlandish. Sometimes I think the somewhat bland flavors of certain Pokémon are laziness on Game Freak's part, and every now and then I feel they've rushed through the Pokémon to go on to create another one. I like Miltank's design, though, and I like its versatility in competitive play, so I guess Game Freak jump the gun. Again.

Rating: 3.5/5

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