#438, #185: Bonsly & Sudowoodo

I think Bonsly looks stupid, but this realistic 3D art looks even
better than the actual cartoon version. 

Sigh. I don't want to talk about Bonsly. I think it is stupid and unnecessary and basically just a rip-off of its evolution, as I think most baby Pokémon are. All it does is being a downright attention whore by continuously creating fake tears. Okay, it does so because it needs to adjust its body's fluid and moisture levels, but I don't fucking care; this phony bonsai tree can go to hell for all I care. No, I'm much more interested in Sudowoodo, the Pokémon that blocked the road to Ecruteak City in Gold and Silver (and their remakes). You had to beat Whitney and her terrifying Miltank first before you could get a SquirtBottle (or a Wailmer Pail in HeartGold and SoulSilver) from the lady in the Goldenrod flower shop in order to spray water all over Sudowoodo to make it attack you. As Sudowoodo is a static Pokémon and doesn't appear anywhere else in the games, many people tried to catch it at first, until they realized Sudowoodo isn't all that great after all. Of course, I was the exception to the rule, because I started using it in my HeartGold playthrough and it turned out to be quite the strong and diverse Pokémon. Very satisfactory, even better than the other Pokémon on my team. Then again, one of them was a Fearow, and it's generally not hard to outclass mediocre Pokémon like that when you're a slightly better mediocre Pokémon yourself.

Look at Sudowoodo being a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. 

One thing that bothers me is that so many people complain that Sudowoodo is not part grass. I mean, WHY would it be a grass-type Pokémon? Sudowoodo is nothing but a phoney trying to fool others with its appearance. It is based on petrified wood, plants that have become fossilized over time, and therefore its composition is closer to a rock than a plant. It likes to disguise itself as a tree and stand along paths to avoid being attacked, although its camouflage fails in wintertime because its fingertips remain green at all times. Sudowoodo is basically a fake tree, which becomes clear in X and Y, in which it can be found in a horde battle alongside four Trevenant. That's genius, Game Freak. This tree disguise thing can also be found in the names it has received from Game Freak across the globe:

English: Sudowoodo is a combination of pseudo- (a prefix meaning 'false') and 'wood'. Aditionally, Bonsly is derived from 'bonsai' and 'sly' or 'lie'.

Japanese: Usokkie (ウソッキー) is derived from uso, ki and usotsuki, meaning 'false', 'tree' and 'liar', respectively. Additionally, Usohachi (ウソハチ) contains the Japanese word for flower pot, hachi. And let's face it, Bonsly does look like a terracotta plant pot. It even has a hole in its rear to boot.

French: Simularbre is a combination of simuler and arbre, the latter of which means 'tree'. Surely I don't have to explain to you guys what simuler means, right?

German: Mogelbaum is a conjunction of mogeln and Baum (the Germans have a tendency to capitalize their nouns), which mean 'to cheat' and 'tree', respectively. Additionally, Bonsly's German name is Mobai.

Korean: Kkojimo (꼬지모) is a combination of keojit or geojit, meaning 'lie' or 'falsehood', and the Korean word for 'tree', mok. Aditionally, the Korean name for Bonsly is Kkojiji
(꼬지지).

Brock licking Sudowoodo, because he likes being weird. I guess
it's effective, because Sudowoodo hates water (and wet things in
general). This scene is from "Type Casting"; season 4, episode 5.

Still think Sudowoodo should be a grass type? I don't - never have, in fact. Sudowoodo is supposed to be a rock thing pretending to be a tree, but it's not an actual tree in the slightest, so it would have made no sense at all if Game Freak had given it the grass type. It would have helped boost Wood Hammer, but that is a strong physical grass-type move in itself, anyway. And with the ability Rock Head, Sudowoodo wouldn't even have to take recoil damage from it, so it can hit the opponent without damaging itself. Sturdy is handy as well, but this ability would only come in handy when you want to guarantee that Stealth Rock will be set up. Don't even look at Rattled, because that is a dumb ability. It raises Sudowoodo's speed by one stage when it is hit by a bug-, dark- or ghost-type move, but its speed is already quite abhorrent, so it doesn't need Rattled. Fortunately, it is very physically defensive, so if you watch out for special attackers you can run a Life Orb or Choice Band set with Rock Slide (or Stone Edge, but that move is less accurate), Wood Hammer, Earthquake and Hammer Arm. It also learns Sucker Punch to catch opponents by surprise, while the elemental punches might be feasible options as well. Just be aware that Rock Head doesn't prevent recoil from the Life Orb, only from regular moves like Double-Edge.

Sudowoodo has always been an intriguing Pokémon to me, although it is not a particularly good Pokémon. Nonetheless, I like it a lot, even though it's such a shame Game Freak had to give it a stupid pre-evolution.

Rating: 4.5/5

#298, #183 - #184: Azurill, Marill & Azumarill

Another thing: why does Azurill always look so sad, even
in official art? 

Okay, I know I repeatedly called baby Pokémon dumb, but this might be even dumber than dumb. Because WHAT is the point of giving Marill - a water type - a normal-type pre-evolution? So fucking pointless, I'm telling you... Everything about Azurill's flavor suggests it should be a water Pokémon, too. Its nutrient-packed tail looks like a beach ball and is often used as a flotation device or lifebuoy; it lives near the water's edge and likes to gather there with others of its species and splash about on sunny days; its classification as the 'Polka Dot Pokémon' refers to the Japanese word for 'polka dots', mizutama, literally meaning 'water balls'; its name contains the word 'rill', which is a synonym for a small river or brook; and its level-up movepool mainly consists of water-type moves, for heaven's sake! And then Game Freak made it a normal type. I don't understand, but maybe I'm just stupid. At least Azurill and its evolutions have had one type in common since 2013: they all gained the fairy type in Pokémon X and Y, although why they did is a fucking mystery to me. Its typing is not the only thing that bothers me about Azurill, though. You see, it has a gender ratio of 25/75, meaning it is female 75% of the time, while both Marill and Azumarill have a perfect 50/50 gender ratio, which means that Azurill's gender can change upon evolving into Marill. That's... stupid. Unless you're transgender your gender won't change ever, so why didn't Game Freak give Azurill the same gender ratio as its evolutions? I don't get this either, but like I said: maybe I'm just stupid.

Old official art of Marill on the left, new art on the right.

No, I like Marill and Azumarill a lot better than Azurill. Except for their fairy typing, they make a lot more sense to me. Whereas Azurill's tail is packed with nutrients that Azurill needs in order to grow and is used to fling itself at bigger opponents, Marill's tail is full of oil that is lighter than water and allows it to remain steady against the roughest water currents. It also keeps Marill afloat; even when it dives its tail is seen on the water surface. Both Marill and its evolution Azumarill have sensitive ears that can detect distant sounds, and Azumarill's ears even act like sensors underwater in order for it to know exactly what prey is swimming about. Azumarill is a master at camouflaging itself, because the splash pattern on its body is based on countershading: the upper part of its body is blue to match the surface of the water, while the lower part is white to match the sunlight seen from underwater, It can inhale and store a large volume of air, which it uses to make balloons if it spots a drowning Pokémon. Marill and Azumarill are probably on rakali (commonly known as water rats) and swamp rabbits, respectively, even though they mainly live nearby water and not necessarily in water. Both species can swim, but the water rat runs faster than it can swim and I don't think swamp hares can dive and hear underwater as well as Azumarill can.

The Marill family: Azurill (right), Marill (middle) and Azumarill
(left). Marill doesn't really have a tuft of hair, but it surely makes
it much cuter. Besides, its Pokédex entries explicitly mention it
has a water-repellent fur. 

They are probably less capable fighters than Azumarill, I'll betcha. But there is one condition for Azumarill to be a good fighter: its ability Huge Power, which effectively doubles its current attack stat. Its base attack stat is only 50, but it's only an indicator of how high its attack can get: with a beneficial nature (preferably an Adamant nature), perfect IVs and proper EV training its attack can reach a decent 218 at level 100, which will become a massive 436 when Huge Power is applied. Its base 100 HP stat and base 80 defensive stats provide it pretty decent bulk, too, so it is perfectly capable of taking a hit first - which it has to, because its speed is abominable. Its great offensive utility allows it to run pretty much every set possible: you can give it a Choice Band or an Assault Vest, whereas the Belly Drum/Sitrus Berry set is a very viable option as well. The latter makes Azumarill more of a late-game sweeper, and the STAB priority move Aqua Jet really helps it with that. As for moves, Azumarill has access to a wide variety of moves, which makes it pretty diverse. Aqua Jet, Waterfall and Play Rough are its main STAB moves, while Ice Punch, Superpower, Knock Off and Iron Tail might come in handy as well.

Pretty neat 3D model of Azumarill. 

If you are familiar with my blog, you already know I did a fairy mono-type playthrough. Azumarill - of course with Huge Power - was the Gen. II fairy (Clefable was the Gen. I one, Mawile Gen. III, Togekiss Gen. IV, Whimsicott Gen. V and Aromatisse Gen. VI) and I have to say it was a real MVP. I've definitely grown more fond of it over the years. And Marill... You have to love it only because of the temporary nickname it got before it was formally introduced: Pikablu. Even the Topps trading cards for the first movie erroneously refer to it as Pikablu, until it was changed to Marill in the second printing. Heh. Marill and Azumarill are pretty good, although I'm not a huge fan of their designs. Too oval-shaped for a bunch of rabbits, I guess. It's a shame they had to get a pre-evolution, although I have to be honest and say that Azurill is kinda cute.

Rating: 4/5

#179 - #181: Mareep, Flaaffy & Ampharos

Apparently, Mary had three little lambs.

Okay, so these are some very peculiar Pokémon.

Electric sheep. Why, this is an interesting take on a common animal, although we've also encountered electric mice, grass dinosaurs, ice birds and fire foxes, dogs and horses so far. But this time, instead of the usual increase in aesthetic traits by evolutions, the Mareep line gradually loses something: its wool. It's a miracle Game Freak managed to make Mareep's evolutions actually look like they're evolutions. Their electric typing and their ability Static actually make sense, too, if you think about it: these traits are clear references to the science fiction novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick, which is set in a post-apocalyptic San Francisco and tells the story of bounty hunter Rick Deckard, who seeks to buy a live animal to replace his electric sheep and signs on to a new police mission in order to be able to do that. The 1982 movie Blade Runner, with Harrison Ford, is an adaptation of this novel and has since become a cult film.

Heh. Y'all know I'm a sucker for this kind of cute fan art. 

Also, wool builds up static charges and that is a very important aspect of Mareep's flavor: its wool grows continuously and stores electricity. When Mareep build static energy within its body the volume of its wool increases, and touching it will result in getting a static shock. Mareep are held in farms for their wool, of which quality clothing is made, but the fleece is only shed in the summer and it will grow back in less than a week. I like how the origin of Mareep's name is Mary, the 'main character' in the nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb". This is also demonstrated in the 23rd episode of the anime's third season, "Mild 'n Wooly", in which a flock of Mareep is shepherded by a young girl named Mary. Coincidence? I think not, but it's a nice touch. Flaaffy, whose name might have been derived from 'baa' - the sound sheep make - or an AA battery, has lost most of its wool as a result of having stored too much electricity in it. Flaaffy has found a way of generating more electricty with less wool and effectively protect its rubbery hide from said electricity. It can even fire its hair at foes at will.

I laughed way harder at this than I should have. 

Ampharos's flavor, on the other hand, is entirely different from Mareep and Flaaffy's. The origin of its design remains roughly the same, but it is also clearly based on a lighthouse instead. Some traits, such as the stripes on its neck and tail and the gem on top of its head, refer to this, but it is also apparent in the Gold, Silver and Crystal games, as well as their remakes: at a certain point in the storyline, you'll have to visit the lighthouse in Olivine City, where you'll encounter Gym Leader Jasmine and her Ampharos named Amphy. Because the orb on an Ampharos's tail can shine so brightly that it can even seen from space, Amphy serves as the beacon of this lighthouse. However, it is apparently unable to continue doing so due to illness. The player is asked to retrieve the SecretPotion from a pharmacy in Cianwood City and bring it back to Jasmine, so that Amphy's disease can be cured. Must be a boring job, letting your tail shine every night without much to do. Well, at least saving lives by preventing ships from sailing against the cliffs is better than letting people use your tail's light by sending signals back and forth, as the people in the old days used to do. Oh, and before I forget to mention it: pharos, or Φάρος, is Greek for 'lighthouse'. Go figure.

Two Ampharos encircling their 'babies' Mareep and Flaaffy.

But the weirdest thing is still Ampharos's Mega evolution. Not only does Mega Ampharos gain a fabulous mane and a fluffy tail, it also changes into a dragon type. Why it obtains the dragon type upon Mega-evolving is beyond me, but at least it makes for an interesting typing only the legendary Pokémon Zekrom shares with it. Come to think of it, maybe its Japanese name Denryu (デンリュウ) has something to do with it, as it derives from denryū and den ryū, meaning 'electric current' and 'electric dragon', respectively. Anyway, with its amazing defensive stats overall - 90 HP, 105 defense and 110 special defense are absolutely nothing to sneeze at - and an increase in its special attack by 50 base points (from 115 as a regular Ampharos to 165 as Mega Ampharos), you'll have an absolute monster should you decide to put it on your team. Of course, its bulky and offensive capabilities come at the expense of its speed, which is nothing to write home about at all. On the bright side, this allows you to run a Modest nature to make full use of its off-the-charts special attack. And Ampharos's impressive coverage leaves you spoiled for choice: it has access to Signal Beam, Power Gem and Dragon Pulse, which it learns by level-up, as well as moves of its own type and TM moves such as Focus Blast. A defensive Ampharos with a support set isn't uncommon either, as Heal Bell gives it a niche over other electric types, while Rest and the held item Leftovers provide for some reliable recovery. And if you feel bold, you can even run an Agility set on a Timid-natured Ampharos, so that it will be able to outspeed some things out there at the cost of some special attack.

I don't know what Ampharos is doing here, but it sure looks suggestive. Don't forget
we're looking at a kids' show here, though, so it's probably nothing to worry about.

I absolutely adore Ampharos. It is so cute for a stage 2 Pokémon, it has a fabulous Mega evolution, its shiny is enormously pretty and it is an absolute beast in battle. What more can you wish for? I have used this Pokémon several times in playthroughs and it never left me disappointed in the slightest. On the contrary, even, it always turned out to be the favorite on my team. Then again, electric is always a good typing, as it only has one weakness - to ground, that is - and as moves from that type often tend to induce paralysis, which slows opponents down. At any rate, Ampharos is 100% worthy of a perfect rating!

Rating: 5/5

#177 - #178: Natu & Xatu

Natu depicted in a hieroglyph style. I approve.

Have you ever had the desire to see into the future in order to find out what your life is going to look like?

Well, I think you should be glad you can't do that, because Xatu is probably not happy with the ability to foresee the future - with its right eye, that is. It's just a theory, but Xatu tends to stand still and watch the sun's movement all day and it is said it does so due to fears of its visions of the future coming true. And its prophecies have a high degree of accuracy, so that's a terrible future Xatu sees, then. And the past isn't exactly all that, either, so as Xatu can see the past with its left eye as well, I want to believe the poor thing is being tormented 24/7. It wouldn't be a surprise to me if it has the desire to go back to being a Natu, notwithstanding the fact that even Natu is a cautious Pokémon that is easily spooked. And Natu has this outré characteristic that it stares at something until the thing moves. I know they're classified as the 'Tiny Bird Pokémon' and the 'Mystic Pokémon' and all, and Game Freak have not been incorrect by doing so, but I think classifying Natu and its evolution Xatu as the 'Staring Pokémon' would have been way more interesting and accurate.

Isn't this Natu totem pole cute?

Of course, their designs and their ability to foresee the future are both derived from the Mayans, an indigenous people of Central America known for their rich history, culture, art and architecture, as well as their infamous calendar. The misinterpretation of this Mesoamerican Long Count calendar was the basis for a popular Western belief that the Maya people had predicted that the apocalypse would take place on December 21, 2012, when it was simply the day that the calendar went to the next b'ak'tun (a cycle of 144,000 days, which is 20 k'atun cycles of 7,200 days). It was even the inspiration for one of my favorite movies, 2012. Despite the fact that the Mayans inhabited Mexico, Guatemala, Belize, Honduras and El Salvador, among others, Natu and Xatu's Pokédex entries state that they are mainly found in South America rather than Central America, which is technically the southernmost part of North America that connects with South America. And Xatu's design and name also refer to a xat (pronounced 'khat', although Xatu is pronounced 'ZAH-too'), a carved totem pole of Native American origin, while it certainly has some traits of kachina dolls as well; the Native American people believe that kachinas are spirits or personifications of things in the real world, and masked members of the community who represent these spirits at religious ceremonies are called kachina dancers, while the dolls are usually given to children as gifts. Even Natu and Xatu's Japanese names - Naty (ネイティ) and Natio (ネイティオ) - derive from the word 'native', although it doesn't necessarily refer to the Native American peoples. On the other hand, its behavior displays the ancient art of sungazing, which is a form of spiritual meditation practiced by the Mayans and Aztecs in the belief that it would give them supernatural power. It is not advised to try this yourselves, though, because the human eye is sensitive and prolonged exposure to direct sunlight can lead to cataracts, damage to the retina (solar retinopathy), and even blindness.

Xatu depicted as some ancient deity to the indigenous peoples of
Central and/or South America.

And how about Xatu's competitive utility? Well, it is a well-rounded Pokémon with a base HP stat of 65 and base defensive stats of 70. That makes it quite feeble, although not too frail that it can't take a hit. Its speed and special attack both sit at a solid 95, which makes them its best stats. Nevertheless, defensive Xatu do exist and the combination of HP and defense investment with a Timid nature and the Magic Bounce ability, which bounces back all status moves to the user, has proved to be quite effective. While an offensive Xatu often carries a Life Orb, defensive or mixed Xatu are better off with a Colbur Berry (weakens a super-effective dark-type attack) or the Leftovers. Should you indeed run an offensive one, you have the choice from numerous moves it can use: Psychic, Psyshock, Air Slash, Signal Beam, Heat Wave, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Grass Knot and Giga Drain. On top of that, it has access to Roost so that it can heal half of its HP when necessary, while Calm Mind increases its special attack and special defense by one stage each and U-Turn lets it switch out so that it can gain momentum. It depends on what you want and what you're facing, but Xatu might be a decent asset to your team, if you know how to play it.

TCG art of Xatu.

I like how Natu and Xatu's designs and flavor are based on Native American and Mayan folklore, but these Pokémon never appealed to me that much. Don't think that I dislike Xatu and that I'll never gonna put it on a team, because I might just decide to pick this Pokémon up once I'm going to do an ORAS playthrough and start using it, but it never made me say, "Wow, this is such a great Pokémon!" But hey, other Pokémon have surprised me as well, so you never know!

Rating: 3.5/5

#175 - #176, #468: Togepi, Togetic & Togekiss

There is so much adorable Togepi fan art to be found on the
Internet that I had a hard time not to download everything of it.

So, there's this question about whether I think Togepi is a baby Pokémon or not. My answer is a whole-hearted 'NO!' In my opinion, baby Pokémon are pre-evolutions of certain Pokémon from previous generations (e.g. Smoochum was introduced in Gen. II and is the pre-evo of the Gen. I Pokémon Jynx, and Bonsly was introduced in Gen. IV and is the pre-evo of Sudowoodo, a Gen. II addition), which means they're pre-evolutions of Pokémon that used to be already in their most basic stage. However, Togepi was introduced in Gen. II alongside its evolution Togetic, and I just cannot see Togetic as a basic Pokémon. The same goes for Riolu and Lucario. I mean... sure, unlike their evolutions and unlike most basic Pokémon, baby Pokémon cannot breed and they all automatically belong to the 'Undiscovered' egg group, which technically makes Togepi and Riolu baby Pokémon as well. Still, I have a hard time considering them as such just for the reasons I mentioned above. Also - as many of you probably know by now - I don't like baby Pokémon. Most of them are useless and I just don't understand why Game Freak would want to add weaker forms of already existing Pokémon rather than stronger forms. Fortunately, this is not the case with Togepi and Togetic, and the latter even got an evolution in the fourth generation, Togekiss, so I dare say that there is plenty to discuss!

Misty's Togepi using Metronome.

Of course, most people know Togepi from the anime. In "Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon" (season 1, episode 46), Ash and his friends get attacked by - you guessed it - a couple of prehistoric Pokémon that were woken up by a few explosions as the result of a fossil hunt, and after Jigglypuff comes to their rescue, everybody falls asleep. Ash wakes up with an egg in his arms, and for a couple of episodes we were left with no clue whatsoever of what Pokémon the egg contained. In the 50th episode, "Who Gets to Keep Togepi?", the egg finally hatches into Togepi and - you guessed it again - a battle about who gets to keep it ensues. Personally, I was on Ash's side, because he basically found the egg and thus it was his, but Misty was the first person Togepi saw when it hatched and that's why it saw her as its 'mother'. From then on, Togepi became a permanent character and was seen in almost every episode until Misty left the show, often helping the friends out when a situation got really dire. Starting during the Orange Islands saga, it would use Metronome to cause big explosions and even produce defensive screens, unbeknownst to Ash, Misty and Tracey (and later Brock when he returned for the Johto saga).

Misty saying goodbye to her Togetic in "A Togepi Mirage!";
season 7, episode 5.

When Misty left the show in favor of May and Max when the Advanced Generation series arrived, Togepi disappeared from the small screen as well. However, in the second season of that series (the seventh season of the Pokémon anime overall) Misty and her Togepi are the center of a two-parter. In "The Princess and the Togepi", Misty is lured to a Togepi festival by a disguised Team Rocket and they guide her to the Mirage Kingdom, followed by Ash, Brock, May and Max, who realize that Misty is in trouble when they see the building from which they take off collapse. Upon arrival, Misty and the rest are attacked by Colonel Hansen, who is after Togepi. After they try to get away, Misty loses Togepi in the chaos and it is then found by Sara, the princess of the Mirage Kingdom. Soon after she shows Togepi to her parents, Misty barges in and demands her Togepi back. Just as Misty and the rest get ready to leave the Mirage Kingdom for their safety, they are attacked again by Hansen and, as a result of fleeing from him, end up in the Togepi Paradise. The story continues in the next episode, "A Togepi Mirage!", when Hansen breaks into the paradise and abducts Togepi in order to rule over the kingdom. He throws the true king in the dungeons and betrays Team Rocket, but Ash and his friends manage to free the king with the help of a vengeful Team Rocket and challenge Hansen once more. Just as Hansen is on the winning side, the Togepi break out of the paradise, which causes Misty's Togepi to evolve into Togetic. Hansen's Shedinja is defeated by a Flamethrower from Misty's Gyarados and after a tearful goodbye, Togetic stays behind to protect the paradise.

All's well that ends well.

Old (left) and new (right) official Sugimori art of Togetic.

Yeah, Togepi was definitely a memorable character and it is a shame that it isn't seen in the anime anymore (not counting any possible cemeos). Togepi was such an innocent little thing and I'm glad it was the center of a storyline in which its flavor becomes more apparent than ever: it exudes a relaxing aura from inside its shell that grows stronger when it is treated nicely, and it is always willing to share some of its energy with kind people, but when it comes near a human with an impure heart this energy quickly disappears. That's why many Togepi in the paradise were so exhausted: Colonel Hansen's presence weakened them because of his impurity. Togetic takes this happiness thing a step further and tends to shower kind-hearted persons with luck and happiness - this is called 'joy dust'. As it can sense someone's personality, it flies around the world seeking these people in order to share its happiness, but, like Togepi, becomes dispirited when it is surrounded by mean or foul people.

Awwww... Such a cute family picture! :D

This is where I start cooing about HOW FUCKING MUCH I LOVE THIS THING!!! Ever since the days of Gold and Silver I've been in love with Togetic, and for the longest time it used to be my second favorite Pokémon, until Luxray came along in 2007. Now, it sits at a solid third place, behind Luxray and Lugia, and I'm still not tired of this Pokémon. I mean, how could I ever get tired of Togetic? Look at it: it's so cute and happy, and I always wish this thing was real so I could give it a hug and never let go of it. That is how fucking much I love Togetic, goddammit! You'd think I was pissed when Togekiss was introduced in Diamond and Pearl, but that's not true at all. I don't dislike Togekiss by any means; on the contrary, I actually quite like it... just not as much as Togetic! Togekiss will never beat my love for its pre-evolution. I did use it in a fairy mono-type playthrough, but that's mainly because it can learn Aura Sphere and Air Slash, whereas Togetic cannot. Deep inside, I hated that I 'had to' evolve Togetic in order to gain a little move diversity that others on my team didn't have, even though Togekiss didn't disappoint me at all. But however strong and diverse Togekiss may be, Togetic will always be my little chick - and I mean chick as in 'baby bird'. Because that is what Togetic is probably based on, y'know.

A Togekiss among other flying types in the movie Pokémon:
Giratina and the Sky Warrior. 

And competitively? Togekiss, whose Pokédex entries don't differ much from its pre-evolutions', is a damn good competitive battler, if I may say so. Its special attack and special defense are off the charts, sitting at base 120 and 115, respectively. It even has some very decent defense and a good HP stat to boot, which makes Togetic quite the bulky Pokémon. That is why it is often used as an offensive and defensive Pokémon in one. Having natural bulk, Togekiss likes to make use of Heal Bell and Roost, which can cure any status condition and heals up Togekiss's HP by half, respectively. It has access to Nasty Plot (why it learns NASTY Plot is beyond me, with its flavor about luck and happiness and all, but I'm not complaining), which increases its special attack by two stages, and in order to attack it can use Air Slash. With its Serene Grace ability, which doubles the chance of additional effects occurring, Air Slash has a 60% chance to make the foe flinch each turn. That is excellent to get Togekiss gain momentum against slower and bulkier foes, because it isn't the fastest Pokémon out there. That's why a Timid nature is recommended, although you could also go for a Modest nature for more offense or a Calm or Bold nature for more defense. In the latter cases, Leftovers would only add to its bulk by healing a little of its HP every turn.

Yes, Togekiss is good, but when you slap an Eviolite on Togetic it will increase its defense by 50%. That's not bad either, because Togetic has some pretty good natural bulk. A Bold-natured Togetic with max HP and defense is often used as a Defogger - so that it can remove entry hazards such as Stealth Rock - and healer, while the Nasty Plot/Baton Pass combo isn't uncommon, either: Togetic can pass on the boost in its special attack to a stronger teammate.

This Togetic is pretty exhausted. Would there be a cold-hearted person around?

Togekiss. I'm sorry buddy, but you'll never be better than Togetic, at least not to me. Your pre-evolution is superior in everything and no evolution can exceed my love for Togetic. Ever. This happens more often than I'd like to, but yet again an evolution gets a lower score than its pre-evolution. Togetic is love, Togetic is life, and not even an evolution and a change in its typing (it went from normal/flying to fairy/flying in X and Y) was able to change my love for it.

Rating Togetic: 5/5

Rating Togekiss: 4.5/5

#170 - #171: Chinchou & Lanturn

To those of you who think I just skipped number 169 in the National Pokédex: you haven't paid attention to my blog at all. I talked about Crobat along with Zubat and Golbat in a previous entry, because they're obviously related through evolution. Besides, it's bullshit not to discuss a certain evolution even though it was introduced in a later generation, right? Trust me, I will be 'skipping' quite some Pokémon in the future.

Old official art for Chinchou and Lanturn, drawn by Ken Sugimori.

Let's move on to the Pokémon with the unique water/electric-type combination: Chinchou. Of course, it owes its typing to its origin, as it is based on the anglerfish. More specifically, it is based on the footballfish, which can be seen in its name as well: Chinchou and its Japanese name Chonchie (チョンチー) are derived from chōchin, which is Japanese for 'lantern' and can be found back in the Japanese name for the footballfish, chōchin-ankō. The interesting thing is that it doesn't overly behaves like an anglerfish: in the anime it can be seen standing on its two little legs while on land, something an actual anglerfish can't do. I don't think the antennae of anglerfish have so many positive and negative charges flowing through them that it makes even them tingle, either. But, above all, Chinchou looks cute and friendly, as opposed to the predatory anglerfish with two rows of sharp, big-ass teeth visible in their gigantic mouths.

Adorable fan art of Lanturn. 

And its evolution Lanturn? Well, Lanturn is just as cutesy and huggable as Chinchou is, although it has more of an anglerfish body shape than Chinchou as well. Despite its adorable aesthetic, it shows the behavioral traits of real-life anglerfish: it uses its Y-shaped antenna to lure prey and gulp them down after blinding them with a flash of light first. The orbs on its antenna contain a colony of bacteria that create a chemical reaction, which can be compared with how a battery generates electricity, and the light Lanturn produces is so strong that it can illuminate ocean floors and even penetrate the sea's surface from the very depths of the ocean. That's why it is popularly nicknamed 'the Deep-Sea Star'. Otherwise, Lanturn is quite the interesting Pokémon. Too bad its namesake is a little unimaginative, as it literally derives from 'lantern', but whatever. I have never used Lanturn once in a playthrough and I would love to sometime, but the problem is that Chinchou is generally capturable late-game, and by that time I'll already have a full team of six Pokémon most of the time. Maybe Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon will provide us with a chance to catch Chinchou early on in the game, but for now I'm just really happy I can write an article about it.

Cute how Lanturns allows itself to be used as underwater
transportation for Manaphy.

I can hear you asking, "But what about its utility in the competitive scene; can't you just use it on your competitive team?" Well yeah, I could, but I'm not that much of a competitive battler and I really don't have the time or patience to breed a perfect Chinchou and start EV-training it properly. That is not to say Lanturn is not a good asset to any team: with its base 125 HP stat, it is an incredibly bulky Pokémon, even though its defenses are only mediocre. Its special defense is inarguably better than its defense, so you might as well make use of it by giving it a Calm nature and a support moveset. Heal Bell is a must-have in order to cure your teammates from a status conditions such as poison, sleep or a burn, while it can learn Toxic and Thunder Wave in order to induce poison or paralysis on the foe. You might want to consider Protect as well so that it can stall for a little Leftovers recovery, but Volt Switch and Scald should definitely be included in Lanturn's moveset. You'll find that Lanturn is very hard to take down, even with its low defense stat, although you can cheat a little by giving it a Bold nature instead of a Calm nature. It's not a terrible idea by any means, but it just generally better to make use of a Pokémon's best stats.

Speaking of which, Lanturn's special attack is tied with its special defense as its second best stat. Smogon lists some offensive movesets for Lanturn, but I'm second-guessing whether that would really be the best option. Correct, with a Modest nature, the Choice Specs or an Assault Vest, and a couple of good offensive moves, Lanturn can put in some work. Still, its base 76 special attack is not really suited for competitive play, at least in my opinion. Then again, Lanturn can endure quite some (special) hits naturally, so it might very well be a valuable offensive asset to your team. It learns a decent amount of coverage moves, too: Hydro Pump (can be replaced by Scald if you think it's too inaccurate), Thunderbolt, Volt Switch and Ice Beam is a very good offensive moveset, while Signal Beam and Dazzling Gleam aren't bad for some bug- and fairy-type coverage, either. Oh, and make sure its ability is always Volt Absorb, which renders electric-type attacks used against it completely useless while still healing some HP when hit by one. Its hidden ability Water Absorb does the exact same thing, but with water-type moves instead; however, Lanturn is already resistant to water and its water/electric typing makes it so that electric-type moves against it are neutral hits, as water is usually weak to electric. Illuminate doesn't even have any effects in battle, so you'd be smart to ignore that ability completely.

I guess this is not what Game Freak intended for Lanturn to look like.

In the end, Lanturn is a great Pokémon sporting a unique typing and design, and I would love to use sometime. It may not be the best battler in the world, but I think Lanturn is supposed to be more of a support Pokémon, anyway. I like how it is based on the anglerfish; it's such a unique animal. Some say Lanturn is also based on a dolphin and that its origin contains a small piece of the Greek legend of Apollo, who was the god of light and rode a dolphin, but that's a little bit farfetched. I don't think Lanturn is dolphin-like in the slightest; and besides, Pokémon freaks have been anticipating a true dolphin Pokémon for ages, which makes me think they don't consider Lanturn a dolphin at all. Dolphin or not, I still love this thing, and that's why I'm granting it an excellent rating of 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#167 - #168: Spinarak & Ariados

People with arachnophobia are advised to back away from this entry, because there gon' be plenty of scary-ass spider talk.

...what the hell am I doing to myself?

Spinarak and its host, Joltik.

Anyways, let's start with the ever-patient Spinarak, who lies still in the same pose for days in its own web, waiting for unsuspecting prey to wander close. Spinarak even lets its prey suffer for hours if they get caught during the day, as it waits to devour them until it becomes dark. And I don't know if this is a trait of real-life spiders, but Spinarak's web can be considered its second nervous system, as it recognizes its prey by the vibrations it feels through the web's threads. More interesting is its origin, at least to me. Spinarak's design is obviously based on the Hawaiian happy-face spider (theridion grallator), which has a face-like marking on its abdomen, just like Spinarak does. Its name is derived from 'spinneret', the silk-spinning organ of a spider, but might also be a combination of the verb 'spin' and 'arachnid'. However, I would like to believe it's more probable that Spinarak's name derives from spinnerak, the Afrikaans word for 'spider web' or 'cobweb'. And as Afrikaans is descended from Dutch (personally, I see Afrikaans as a heavily simplified version of Dutch), it makes much more sense to me that spin, spinrag and spinnenweb - Dutch for 'spider', 'spider silk' and 'cobweb', respectively - are the words that lie at the basis of its name origin, as well as the Afrikaans variant.

From Pokémon (Heart)Gold, LeafGreen and X: "It spins string not
only from its rear but also from its mouth. It is hard to tell which
end is which." Well, I can perfectly tell which end is which, thank
you very much. 

Ariados, on the other hand, is a very smart kind of savage: it attaches silk to its prey and sets it free, only to track down the silk to the prey and its friends. A single strand of a special string is endlessly spun out of its spinneret, but it can also produce silk from its mouth, although it is said that it's hard to say which end is which. Wut? That makes no sense whatsoever, because its mouth and rear don't even look the same in the slightest. I guess the people in the Pokémon world are blind, but whatever. Anyway, that endless string is a reference to the Greek myth of Theseus and Ariadne, wherein Ariadne gave Theseus a ball of twine before he entered the labyrinth to slay the Minotaur, so that he may trail the strand behind him and find his route back to her. There may also be a hint of 'arachnid' and dos (Spanish for 'two') or odosu (Japanese for 'to threaten'; just because Ariados's Japanese name is the same as its English name) in its name, but the reference to Ariadne is just very obvious in this case. And I love references to myths and legends in Pokémon names and lore, even though they are obvious as fuck in all respects, because they allow me to learn a bunch of new things. Honestly, you'd be surprised about the things I learn while doing research for my articles. Of course I already knew about the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur, but you probably get my point.

What would you do if you came across a horde of gigantic-ass
spiders? I'd run; that would probably the best idea. 

Like the competitive utility of certain Pokémon. Sigh... Don't get me started about Ariados, because it has the same base stat total as Ledian, which means it is not a good Pokémon at all. Certainly, with its access to both Sticky Web (lowers opponents' speed by one stage when they switch in) and Toxic Spikes (one layer poisons opponents when they switch in; two layers badly poison opponents, very much like Toxic), Ariados can be a very good lead to any team, especially when you give it a Focus Sash to hold. This item prevents Ariados from fainting when it is hit at full HP and allows it to set up before it gets knocked out, because it is slow as molasses and its defenses are mediocre at best. Might as well run an Adamant nature instead of a Jolly one, too, although either would be fine. At least its base 90 attack stat allows it to hit some Pokémon fairly decently before it goes down. It gets access to some very nice moves that Ledian can only dream of: Megahorn, Foul Play and Sucker Punch, the latter of which lets Ariados attack first when the opponent is using a damaging move. Might come in handy. But sometimes Toxic Spikes isn't necessary, and it is generally better to use another, more competent Pokémon to use Sticky Web. In-game, however, it might well be a decent Pokémon to use: Agility doubles its speed, while Poison Jab, X-Scissor and Dig provide for some pretty neat type coverage. Might as well give it a shot.

Well, I'm not going to do that, because I have no intention of using Ariados anytime soon, but that doesn't mean I don't like it at all. In fact, I think Ariados might have potential, but I do not feel inclined to try it out. At least I like its design and origin; and the same can be said about Spinarak. I don't think they're as appealing as Ledian, however, so even though it is a generally better Pokémon to use, it will not get a better - or even the same - rating from me. Alas.

Rating: 3.5/5

#165 - #166: Ledyba & Ledian

Two Ledyba and a Ledian accompanied by a Yanma.

When I was a kid, ladybugs were the only species of insects that weren't scary or annoying to me. I thoroughly hate most kinds of insects, to be honest, and although I have to admit some species serve as the inspiration for awesome Pokémon, I really don't have to like the real-life variants. Today, ladybugs are still the exception; my country (the Netherlands) has even adopted this little critter as a symbol against senseless violence, and more often than not the Dutch Foundation Against Senseless Violence places a street tile with this symbol on the sites of deadly crimes. Nintendo and Game Freak saw the ladybug as an inspiration for something more fun, however, and created Ledyba and Ledian. And I have to say that I actually kinda like their designs, even though they're nothing special. Ledyba suffers from an extreme form of anxiety: it is afraid or even unable to move when it is alone. It is a gregarious Pokémon and would rather want to stick with others of its species, which it communicates with by secreting an aromatic fluid from where the legs join its body and altering the scent when it wants to convey its feelings. When winter comes, they gather from everywhere and cluster to keep each other warm. Ledian, on the other hand, curls up inside a big leaf to drift off when it gets too warm during daytime. It is a nocturnal Pokémon that uses starlight as energy, and the star patterns on its back (which are just normal ladybug spots in its back sprites in the games) grow larger or smaller depending on the number of stars in the night sky.

Cute fan art of Ledian roaming around in the middle of the night. 

Though competitively, Ledian is absolute garbage. I don't like calling Ledian garbage, because I'm quite fond of this Pokémon, but Ledian is absolutely NOT a good competitive Pokémon. Heck, even in-game it's a terrible Pokémon: its attack and special attack are way too low for it to be useful, and its defenses are ass. Well, its special defense is a solid base 110, but it has no HP to back that up, so you'll be lucky if Ledian can survive two strong hits. I ever used one in a HeartGold playthrough, but I boxed it mid-game because it was such an underwhelming Pokémon. And that's an understatement. Let's put it this way: if Iron Fist was one of its two normal abilities instead of its hidden ability, Game Freak had switched Ledian's base 35 attack with its base 55 special attack, and the Choice Band was a regular item that could be found randomly during a playthrough, Ledian would still only be an OK Pokémon to use. I mean, what are you supposed to do with it, anyway? It has terrible offensive stats, which completely nullifies its extensive offensive movepool. And it has such a shallow support movepool that it renders it useless in that regard. Your best bet would be a Light Screen/Reflect set with Light Clay, but Ledian is outclassed by Pokémon who can do a far better job setting up or making opponents see stars.

Sigh. Game Freak, for heaven's sake, please find a way to make Ledian better than it is now, because it's such a shame to keep such a nice Pokémon so incredibly useless. At least make it so that Ledian can be used in a regular playthrough. I really, really like Ledian, but in order for it to get a perfect rating it'll have to become a lot better first.

Rating: 4/5

#163 - #164: Hoothoot & Noctowl

Yes, Hoothoot resembles a clock. Noctowl, not so
much. 

While Pidgey and Spearow were the generic bird Pokémon of the first generation, Hoothoot is the generic bird of the second generation. In Gold and Silver it is only found at night-time, so it's not all that common as Pidgey and Spearow - or maybe that's just because kids usually play during the day rather than at night. While Hoothoot - which, of course, is derived from 'hoot', an onomatopoeia for the sound an owl makes - might not seem like something special, its design is interesting enough: time is a recurring theme in its flavor. Not only does Hoothoot have clock-like elements in its design, like the mask-like crest around its eyes that looks like they're clockwork gears with the hands of a clock protruding from them, but it also has an internal organ that senses the Earth's rotation. This organ allows Hoothoot to keep track of time, cocking its head rhythmically like a metronome as aid, and start hooting at precisely the same time every day. I wish I had a clock like that; Hoothoot is 100% accurate and doesn't need batteries or charging. I'll just have to make sure it doesn't evolve into Noctowl, because nothing in its flavor indicates that Noctowl can do the same thing Hoothoot can. If anything, it behaves perfectly like a normal-ass owl, having exceptional hearing and eyesight and the ability to fly silently. The only difference is that it rotates its head 180° to sharpen its intellect, but even then I'm not impressed in the slightest: normal owls can rotate their heads up to 270°, which is much further than Noctowl can. But is Noctowl worth it in the end? Why, it might be better for me to keep Noctowl around, because I won't be able to hear Hoothoot hooting with my poor hearing, anyway. I can't hear shit without my hearing aids...

A Noctowl with a bunch of Hoothoot.

Do you remember that I said that Furret isn't the best fighter but that it still did a good job in my Pokémon X playthrough? Well, Noctowl's special attack is a decent 76, the same as Furret's attack stat, although it's still nothing out of the ordinary. Furthermore, its HP and special defense are much better than its special attack, which makes it a special wall rather than an offensive threat. That's why a Calm nature is much preferred over any other nature, as it boosts special defense and lowers attack, a stat it isn't gonna use in the first place. With EV training in HP and special defense, the Leftovers as a held item, and an excellent support moveset (Roost for healing, Defog to remove entry hazards, Toxic to cripple foes and Night Shade to deal damage equal to Noctowl's level), Noctowl can be quite the tough Pokémon to take down. It still can't handle a physical hit with ease, though, so watch out with that. To top it off, you might want to have the ability Insomnia on your Noctowl, which - if that wasn't already quite obvious - prevents it from falling asleep by sleep-inducing moves. Keen Eye prevents the loss of accuracy and negates opponents' evasion boosts, but it's practically useless in competitive play, while Tinted Lens boosts not-very-effective moves, which is only handy when you're doing a regular playthrough. Speaking of which, a Modest Noctowl with Air Slash, Uproar, Psychic and Shadow Ball (or maybe Hypnosis) will suffice; you don't need support Pokémon in an LP.

Ash's shiny Noctowl, who he caught in "Fowl Play!"; season 3, episode 38.

However, Noctowl isn't a forgettable Pokémon by any means: Ash's shiny Noctowl will be forever etched into my memory (I don't know about yours, obviously). In the episode "Fowl Play!", Ash comes across a mad scientist who wants to capture the Noctowl by setting up traps - because Poké Balls are too mainstream - but is outsmarted by it time and time again. After Team Rockets stirs things up and then blast off for the 756,388th time, the Noctowl challenges Ash to a battle, who then captures it. Shiny Pokémon were definitely a thing back then, as they were introduced in Gold and Silver and were still brand new. Of course, their popularity has only increased since then, and we can't imagine any games without their presence.

Noctowl is a decent Pokémon all around, but of course you shouldn't put it up against an Articuno or something. That's why it resides in the PU tier, one of the lowest Smogon tiers, but at least it's good in what it does. Personally, Noctowl is not one of my favorite Pokémon, but it's still not bad and it deserves a 3.5-star rating.

Rating: 3.5/5

#161 - #162: Sentret & Furret

Fan art of Furret with Sentret on its back (left) and tail (right)

Look, I'm going to be the biggest fanboy you've ever seen here, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Let's start with stating that I don't care for Sentret. Although its name suggests that we're dealing with a ferret of some sorts, its appearance resembles that of flying squirrels and its behavior is actually more similar to meerkats. Sentret always behave nervously and cautiously, apparently fearing for their lives. They will never sleep alone; while the others sleep, there is always one Sentret that watches for danger by raising up on its tail - it can scan wide areas when doing so - and emitting a loud, shrill cry as a warning when it spots any kind of danger. The herd then flees, but if one Sentret gets separated from the others, it becomes sleepless with fear. Furret, on the other hand, is where I start fanboying so hard that even my mother will wonder if it wouldn't be better for me to check into an insane asylum. Because I absolutely 100% love and adore Furret. Look at it, IT'S JUST SO CUUUUUUTE!!!

That's okay, cutie, I don't mind. You can sleep in my sock drawer
as often as you want.

Seriously though, Furret has slowly become one of my favorite Pokémon ever, easily taking up a spot in my top 10. I know it wasn't included in my top 50 favorite Pokémon at all, but just ignore that blog. I'm just keeping it around because there might be a few things on it that I can use for this blog, but otherwise it's so badly written that it even makes myself cringe. Besides, I created that blog approximately three years ago and finished it in about two months, so it's hardly accurate or contemporary anymore. The good thing about my current blog is that I'm using a whole different concept: I can alter my reviews and ratings as many times as I please, while it doesn't affect the previous or subsequent articles. You can't exactly change the order of a top 50; I mean, it is possible, but it takes a lot of work and it's actually more hassle than it's worth. That's why I love this blog: by reviewing every single Pokémon in existence, I'm getting a much better perception of which Pokémon I like or dislike, love or hate. The articles are longer and I'm spending more time writing them, which is why I often get to know the Pokémon that I'm writing about much better than I did before. And if I get tired of a certain Pokémon, or if I was too hard on one, I can always alter its review and rating for better or worse. Not that this happened much yet (only a couple of times), but the possibility is still there.

Extremely adorable fan art of Furret standing in a meadow,
accompanied by Drifloon and Minccino. 

That allows me to fanboy over Furret without actually having to rank it before or after another favorite of mine, because Furret is indisputably one of my favorite Pokémon right now, only because of its high level of cuteness. Let's face it, Furret's flavor isn't interesting at all, and its fighting capacities are nothing to write home about. Well, I did do a Pokémon X playthrough in which I caught an Adamant Sentret and added it to my team, but it wasn't the best Pokémon by any means. It did a pretty good job, that's for sure, but I just wanted to use a Furret once and now I can say, "Mission accomplished." By the way, that is the only thing that Furret should be used for (it doesn't deserve to be used as an HM slave, it's way too adorable for that), because it is not suited for competitive play at all. Its stats are all mediocre at best and it has absolutely no durability in battle because of that. Furret has one trick up its sleeve (pun most definitely intended): Trick. This move switches Furret's held item with the opposing Pokémon's, and with the hidden ability Frisk you can see what item the opponent has before you make a decision. It's handy and it can cripple the foe, especially when a Jolly Furret is holding a Choice Scarf, but it is generally better to avoid using it competitively. Its decent to use in-game and it is very versatile move-wise, but Furret is not a good fighter.

Dammit, it breaks my heart to say that.

Peekaboo!

However, I should be happy that this Pokémon exists at all. I generally don't care for real-life ferrets and weasels (with the exception of ermines) because they're vicious little things, but Furret has gained a special place in my heart and it will stay there forever. By the way, I downloaded 23 images of Furret so I could potentially use them for this article, but I obviously couldn't use them all. Go take a look on Google Images, I'm sure you'll melt when you see all this cute fan art of Furret. I know I did.

Rating: 5/5