#245: Suicune

This might well be the shortest article I'll write about the legendary beasts; not only have I said quite some things about Suicune when I talked about Raikou and Entei in my previous two posts, but Suicune is also the easiest to write about somehow.

This environment seems about right for Suicune, It might not be
an ice-type Pokémon, but I think it is perfectly able to withstand
cold.

Like Entei and Raikou, Suicune is one of the legendary beasts resurrected by Ho-Oh after the burning of the Brass Tower (referred to as the Burned Tower in the games). While Raikou represents the lightning that struck the tower and Entei the flames that consumed it, Suicune represents the rain that quenched the flames. It also looks the most regal of the three beasts, a trait that can be found in its name: Suicune's name is derived from the Japanese words of sui ('water') and kun ('monarch'), and as this Pokémon is also the mascot of Pokémon Crystal, it is not unlikely that the word suishō ('crystal') was also the inspiration for its name. And - again - while Suicune looks canine rather than feline, the spots on its body indicate it is based off of leopards and possibly even snow leopards. The Japanese deity of Fūjin, the god of the wind in the Japanese Shintō religion, carries a large bag of winds on his shoulders and is often depicted wearing a leopard skin, and the fact that Suicune represents wind and rain - it is a pure water type, but it also learns some flying-type moves like Tailwind, Gust and Air Slash - might mean that it is not only based on this very wind deity but also on wind deities from other cultures. The leopard characteristics, the fact that its mane is based on the northern light (aurora borealis; the light seen on the southern hemisphere is called aurora australis), the Pokédex entry that says that northern winds always blow stronger in its presence and its event-only move Sheer Cold - a move that normally only ice types get, aside from Kyogre - even give it some similarities to ice and cold.

The girl character in Pokémon Crystal (or HeartGold and SoulSilver) discovers the
legendary beasts hiding in the Burned Tower with a character called Eusine, who is
after Suicune. While they flee the moment you approach them in the tower, you can
encounter them later on; Raikou and Entei start wandering around the Johto region,
but you get to follow Suicune all the way to somewhere in the vicinity of Cerulean
City, where you can try to capture it without worrying whether it will flee or not.

But the most distinctive trait Suicune has is that it can purify any filthy, polluted body of water it walks on. That's right, it can walk on water.

Suicune is literally the reincarnation of Jesus fucking Christ.

For real though, it is more likely that Suicune takes homage from the Chinese myth of the qílín. This creature is believed to appear with the imminent arrival or passing of a sage or illustrious ruler and is said to be able to walk on water, like Suicune. It is a powerful and peaceful being that represents prosperity and serenity - one could say Suicune is also the most heroic, serious, calm and serene of the legendary beasts - and possesses a pair of antlers similar to Suicune's crest, with two prongs on either side of the base.

Suicune walking on water.

I can be very brief about Suicune's competitive capacities: it is a bulky staller. Its excellent HP and even more excellent defenses makes it one of the sturdiest walls in the UU and OU tiers. Because it has access to Calm Mind, a move that raises its decent special attack and outstanding special defense by one stage each, you can easily go for a Bold nature, which boosts its defense instead. Suicune can then hit relatively hard with Scald and Ice Beam, while Rest is used to fully heal its HP. It does put Suicune to sleep, though, so you might want to let it hold a Chesto Berry or Lum Berry, both of which wake Suicune up immediately. Leftovers, however, is a nice held item for a little recovery every turn and only enhances Suicune's longevity. And there are other options, too: you can ditch Ice Beam in favor of Roar, which removes the opposing Pokémon from the battlefield and brings another one in. It's a perfect move against Pokémon who want to set up on you. Sleep Talk can be used when Suicune's asleep due to Rest and selects any of its remaining three moves to use while it sleeps - including Rest, which is just fucking dumb. Tailwind increases the speed of your entire team by 50%, while Substitute could come in handy if you want to set up with Calm Mind and PP stall low-PP moves that hurt Suicune, like Leaf Storm and Power Whip. You can even go all-out offensive, but I wouldn't really recommend that; Suicune is just too good a staller for it to be used completely offensively. It's not impossible, as it still learns good coverage moves like Extrasensory, Shadow Ball, Ice Beam, Air Slash and Signal Beam, but still...

One last piece of fan art of the legendary beasts. Look at Suicune being all cool,
calm and collected, as opposed to the savagery Raikou and Entei are radiating. 

While Entei takes up the spot as my favorite Johto legendary beast, I still love Suicune to bits. What especially attracts me is its design; Suicune is so beautiful and so graceful, and its calm and serene water typing is very much in contrast with the restless electric and fire typings of Raikou and Entei, respectively. Maybe that's why I like Articuno more than Zapdos and Moltres as well. All I know now is that, after all these years, Suicune is still deserving of a perfect rating and a spot in my list of favorite Pokémon.

By the way, I guess this isn't the shortest article about the legendary beasts after all; that dubious honor goes to Raikou.

Rating: 5/5

#244: Entei

Entei in a volcanic landscape, apparently its natural habitat.

Entei is the second of the Johto legendary beasts, but I'm still not sure whether it's tied with Suicune as my favorite one, whether it is actually my favorite one or whether the honor of being my favorite legendary beast goes to Suicune. I guess the following two entries should decide which one of the above options is applicable to me. And yes, I know that it was Suicune who had a spot in my top 50 of favorite Pokémon, but as I said before, that blog is badly written and even makes myself cringe from time to time. Moreover, the majority of the Pokémon in that list were on there because of their designs. On this blog I'm taking a number of factors into account for my final rating - think about design, cuteness, competitive and in-game viability, fondness of the Pokémon, my own experiences, etc. - so there's a world of difference between the two blogs. I am of the opinion that this very blog is the better one by a landslide, although that should be kind of obvious: I am significantly better at English than I was three years ago, especially when you consider that I actually studied Enlish in order to become a literary translator in the meantime. But this blog is also a much bigger project than my previous blog. It will take up years and I think it's a very effective way to practice, and subsequently improve, my writing skills. I hope.

This art should at least clarify why I like Entei more than
Raikou.

You know, I usually make shit up as I go, so excuse me for wandering off too much. This article is actually about Entei, who represents the flames that burned the Brass Tower. And no, it didn't cause the fire; Entei was resurrected by Ho-Oh after the Brass Tower burned down, along with Raikou and Suicune - the former represents the lightning bolt that struck the tower and the latter represents the rain that quenched the flames consuming it. Entei's Pokédex entries actually contradict the whole resurrection thing, because they say that it is said that an Entei is born every time a volcano appears and that one erupts somewhere around the globe whenever Entei roars. Following that logic, there should be hundreds of Entei in the world, although it has to be said that the topography of the Pokémon world probably differs quite a bit from that of the real world. Entei is probably best known for its appearance in the third Pokémon movie, Pokémon 3: The Movie - Spell of the Unown: Entei, in which a scientist gets sucked into an alternate dimension by a bunch of Unown, after which they make his daughter Molly's every wish come true and create an Entei as a substitute Daddy. This Entei wasn't real, but it was still pretty goddamn powerful for something that was nothing more than an illusion created by a bunch of letters.

A wild Entei appeared!
(Also, I picked this picture because there's a Togetic in it, duh.)

Not only is Entei a powerful Pokémon, it also looks very regal. The mane of grey smoke definitely contributes to that, but its origin is the most important part. First off, Entei's name is composed of the Japanese words en ('flame') and kōtei ('emperor'), forming entei ('flame emperor'). It is probably also derived from enten, meaning 'blazing heat', which sounds about right when you consider that Entei can spout flames hotter than a volcano's magma. Even its Chinese name Yándì (炎帝) is derived from yán dì, meaning 'flame emperor', and is actually a corruption of entei. Aesthetically, Entei may be based on Chinese guardian lions, which correlates with it serving as a guardian for Molly and her allies in the third movie. Entei may also be based on the Balinese lion spirit Barong, due to its lion-like appearance, mask-like crest - which also vaguely resembles a kabuto, a type of helmet that became an important part of the traditional Japanese armor worn by the samurai class, but were first used by ancient Japanese warriors - and masses of fur. This Barong creature is often seen in Indonesian parades and festivals with the aesthetic features of Entei I just mentioned and all kinds of bling attached to it. But despite Entei's feline origin, it actually looks more canine, which oddly also applies to Raikou and Suicune.

Oh man, there's an abundance of Entei fan art to be found on the
Internet. I had a hard time picking the most awesome pieces of
art.

Entei, however, is by far the best to use competitively. Whereas Suicune is used for stalling and both Raikou and Suicune can set up with Calm Mind, Entei has a few tricks up its sleeve that make it stand out to its two companions. First off, it is one of only two Pokémon that can learn Sacred Fire (the other is Ho-Oh, its resurrector), which is a base 100 physical-based fire-type move with a 50% chance of burning the foe and no recoil damage whatsoever (I'm looking at you, Flare Blitz). Second, its access to Extreme Speed makes Entei a fantastic late-game cleaner. Flare Blitz and Extreme Speed are exclusive to an event-only shiny Entei from 2010 and 2011, rocking an Adamant nature, so you're required to use this one if you want Extreme Speed. This particular Entei also knows Howl, which raises its attack by one stage, but that's not a very good move and doesn't do well on a Choice Band set at all. I'd recommend you go with a moveset consisting of Sacred Fire, Extreme Speed, Stone Edge and either Iron Tail or Iron Head. Sadly, that's as far as Entei's physical movepool goes, so you're basically stuck with these moves. Why, at least it's a good moveset; you can't really go wrong with it.

Even art that seems to be made with crayons makes Entei look
beautiful. 

But wait a minute, that shiny Entei isn't the only event Pokémon from the winter of 2011; players could also acquire shiny Raikou and shiny Suicune with event-only moves. Don't they have some tricks up their sleeves? The short answer to that question is, 'No.' The shiny Suicune has a Relaxed nature, which is a terrible nature that slows Suicune down; and at base 85 speed, it's already the slowest of the legendary beasts to begin with. One of the moves it has is Sheer Cold, which is a horribly inaccurate OHKO move, and even Aqua Ring, Air Slash and Extreme Speed don't really help its cause. Okay, Air Slash is a decent flying-type coverage move, but Suicune's base 75 attack stat renders Extreme Speed pretty much useless. And Raikou? Raikou has a Rash nature, which is not the best nature for it but also not the worst. The moves it gets are Zap Cannon, Weather Ball, Aura Sphere and Extreme Speed. Zap Cannon, like Sheer Cold, is horribly inaccurate, but at least it will inflict guaranteed paralysis on the foe if it hits. Thunder Wave is still better for guaranteed paralysis, though, and you can always use Thunderbolt to damage opponents. Weather Ball only works in combination with a weather condition; it will do base 50 normal-type damage when there's no weather, but it will turn into a base 100 water-, ice- or fire-type move in rain, hail or sun, respectively. It's merely situational and not very useful. Even Extreme Speed doesn't do all that much due to Raikou's base 85 attack stat, although I have to say Aura Sphere provides for some very neat fighting-type coverage.

Shiny Raikou (left), Entei (middle) and Suicune (right). Their shiny forms were
even present in the thirteenth Pokémon movie, Pokémon - Zoroark: Master of
Illusions.

At the end of the day, though, it is clear that Entei is supposed to be a physical attacker and that Adamant nature only boosts its attack. And as Sacred Fire and Extreme Speed are both physical-based moves, Entei can make perfect use of them. I think I've made up my mind now: Entei - and not Suicune - is my favorite Johto legendary beast, and I don't think writing Suicune's entry will change that. What's more, I feel a little ashamed that I didn't include Entei in my top 50 favorite Pokémon, because it's no less than iconic. Plus, I am of the opinion that fan art of Entei is just this little bit more awesome than fan art of either Raikou or Suicune, and I'm not saying that because I like Entei much more than Suicune and, especially, Raikou. You probably already noticed that while scrolling through this article. And if you didn't, you're just fucking blind.

Rating: 5/5

#243: Raikou

Raikou is the first Johto legendary, but it's not my favorite. Let's just get the least interesting of the legendary beasts out of the way, shall we?

Raikou (right) with its fire and water counterparts Entei
(middle) and Suicune (right).

Entei, Suicune and Raikou form the trio of legendary beasts resurrected by Ho-Oh after the burning of the Brass Tower (or Burned Tower) in Ecruteak City, Johto. While Raikou is said to represent the lightning strike that ignited the fire that consumed the Brass Tower, Entei is said to represent the flames that burned it and Suicune is said to represent the rain that quenched the flames. Apparently, the purple mane on Raikou's back resembles a cumulonimbus cloud, the type of cloud most often associated with thunderstorms, and allows it to shoot bolts of lightning. It likes racing across the land while barking a cry that sounds like crashing thunder, sends shock waves shuddering through the air and shakes the ground as if lightning bolts have come crashing down. That sounds God-almighty; and rightfully so, because legendary Pokémon should have more outlandish characteristics than other Pokémon (although you don't have to make flavors too bland; RIGHT, Game Freak?). At least 'God-almighty' is the right word to describe Raikou, because it seems to be based on a few thunder and lightning deities from different folklores.

Damn, some pieces of fan art are just plain AMAZING! 

First and foremost, there's the raijū - literally 'thunder animal' or 'thunder beast' - which is a thunder demon from Japanese lore and is said to be the companion of the Japanese god of thunder, Raijin. A raijū is said to be able to take the form of a tiger, like Raikou is obviously based on, but its white-and-blue wolf form wrapped in lightning is the most common depiction of it (in fact, the Pokémon Manectric seems to be based on this form). There's also the Taoist deity of Lei Gong - literally 'Lord of Thunder' - from Chinese mythology, which is even Raikou's Mandarin Chinese name: Léigōng (雷公). This translates to Japanese as raikō, which literally means 'thunder duke' but is also taken from the words rai ('thunder') and kō (emperor). And aside from some Eastern deities, Raikou is also based on a couple of normal animals, most notably Bengal tigers and the extinct species similodon fatalis, most often referred to as the saber-toothed tiger. Bulbapedia even suggests that the white ruff around Raikou's face is akin to the Siberian tiger's thick fur around its neck, but I think that's a little farfetched. Sure, Siberian tigers live in a part of Russia close to Japan, and some even reside in China and North Korea, but I just think the designers thought the white ruff was a cool addition. Personally, I think the 'puffy cheeks' make Raikou look a little baby-faced.

Talk about being baby-faced: check out Raikou's sprites from Gold and Silver. Damn, it just looks weird.

Also, despite all its feline traits, Raikou and its companions are still considered dogs rather than cats. It has to be said that Entei and Suicune sure look canine, but Raikou really doesn't... Oh, well.

Raikou just being regal on its rock. 

The name 'legendary beast' sure does Raikou justice, though, because it is an absolute beast in battle. It is often hard to find a check for Raikou in competitive play, because its only weakness is ground and its defenses are very good. Well, its defense is quite mediocre, but its decent HP makes up for that and its base 100 special defense is good enough for it to take a few special hits. However, its special attack and speed, both a stunning base 115, are off the fucking charts. People often run a Calm Mind set on Raikou, to raise its special attack and special defense by one stage each and then annihilate the opponent with strong moves like Thunderbolt, Extrasensory, Shadow Ball and Signal Beam. Volt Switch can be thrown into mix for gaining momentum any time you need it, while Hidden Power provides some coverage of any type when you need it. The to-go nature for all Raikou sets is Timid, while a Calm Mind set can be accompanied by a held item such as a Life Orb or the Leftovers. Choice Specs or an Assault Vest are viable options as well, but both require Raikou to omit Calm Mind from its moveset. A 50% boost in special attack (Specs) or special defense (Vest) sounds nice, but it won't be able to get both with Calm Mind this way, although setting up requires the use of a valuable turn, so I understand the desire for instant power or bulk with the Specs or Vest.

There is a lot of awesome fan art of Raikou to be found on the Internet. I'd
recommend you go check it out. 

This is the same situation as with Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres: Articuno is my favorite legendary bird and wins from Zapdos and Moltres by a landslide (Team Mystic!), but I don't hate Zapdos and Moltres by any means, considering the fact I gave them both 4.5-star ratings. Raikou is nowhere near as interesting as Entei or even Suicune, but it'll get a 4.5-star rating from me nonetheless. And if I'm being honest, I might as well tell you guys that there aren't any legendary or mythical Pokémon that I hate and that most of them will get a 4-star rating or higher (although there could be one or two exceptions).

P.S.: I still have a little figurine of this thing, mind you. Not that I value it all that much, but I thought I should mention it just for the hell of it.

Rating: 4.5/5

#241: Miltank

No, you didn't miss any articles here. Nos. 236 to 240 are Tyrogue, Hitmontop, Smoochum, Elekid and Magby, which I discussed in previous entries already. Next up we have everyone's favorite Pokémon owned by a Gym Leader: Miltank.

Ash's Cyndaquil sucking on one of the teats on Miltank's udder.
Nothing sugestive about that. (!)

Yup, while Whitney's Clefairy is 'fairily' easy to defeat - excuse the dumb pun - her Miltank is infamous for being the one Pokémon in Pokémon Gold and Silver that keeps bodying your entire team only three Gyms in. You're lucky Whitney had the presence of mind to take it easy on us by replacing Defense Curl with Attract, because Defense Curl would have allowed her Miltank to Rollout you straight into oblivion (which it already did without Defense Curl). That's a good enough strategy for in-game purposes, but in the competitive scene Miltank is supposed to be a bulky bitch. Its HP and defense are excellent, and even its mediocre special defense is compensated by its HP stat. Heck, you could even give it a Careful nature and max out its special defense until you'll be sure it can take special hits as well. It's a great support Pokémon with a great support movepool, including Toxic and Thunder Wave to inflict a status condition on the opponent, Heal Bell to get rid of all status conditions inflicted on your Pokémon, Milk Drink for its own recovery only, and Stealth Rock to set up an entry hazard.

This Miltank is not amused by Ash brushing its back. 

Another option is to let it set up with Curse, which raises its attack and defense by one stage each but lowers its speed, so that it can run a physical moveset consisting of Curse, Body Slam and two other physical moves of your choice (or one other physical move, if you want to keep Milk Drink for recovery). And you're spoiled for choice, because Miltank's physical movepool is wide: it can learn things like Earthquake, Zen Headbutt, the elemental punches, Iron Head, Rock Slide, Hammer Arm and more. It even learns Gyro Ball, a move that does more damage the slower the user is compared to the opponent, but its base 100 speed makes Miltank pretty speedy for a fat bipedal cow. It does work perfectly in combination with Curse, so it's definitely an option, but for more reliable steel-type damage you should go with Iron Head or Iron Tail. And if you give it the ability Sap Sipper, you'll have a grass-type resistance and a one-stage attack boost every time Miltank is hit by a grass-type move. Again, this works very well with Curse. That is not to say, however, that its other abilities are worthless: Scrappy allows Miltank to hit ghost types with its normal-type moves where otherwise they'd be unharmed by them, and Thick Fat gives it resistances to fire and ice.

A glass of milk a day keeps the doctor away. Yeah, fuck that, I
hate milk.

In contrast to the milk it produces, which is sweet and nutritious and can be used to heal Pokémon - a feature included in the games, outside of battles - and ill or weary humans, Miltank's flavor is really bland. Miltank is based on Jersey cattle (a breed originally bred in the Channel Island of Jersey, UK, and known for the high butterfat content of its milk) and Holstein Friesian cattle (a breed originating from the Dutch provinces of North Holland and Friesland and the German state of Schleswig-Holstein, known as the world's highest-production dairy animals), but whereas normal cows can produce an average of eight gallons of milk a day, Miltank can produce 'only' five gallons. While the milk can be enjoyed by children, adolescents and grown-ups alike, it is said that kids who drink Miltank milk while growing up become hearty, healthy adults. Yeah, that is often said about real-life milk too. However, I hate milk and I adamantly refused to drink it, and I'd dare say I'm pretty healthy otherwise. That's not all, though: Miltank's milk can be turned into yogurt instead for people who can't drink the milk. No shit, I'll bet you can easily make butter and cheese from Miltank milk as well; I assume that shouldn't be too hard.

Come on, Game Freak, I don't mind some real-life references, but this is Pokémon we're talking about and I expect their characteristics to be a little bit more outlandish. Sometimes I think the somewhat bland flavors of certain Pokémon are laziness on Game Freak's part, and every now and then I feel they've rushed through the Pokémon to go on to create another one. I like Miltank's design, though, and I like its versatility in competitive play, so I guess Game Freak jump the gun. Again.

Rating: 3.5/5

#235: Smeargle

Smeargle about to paint a picture with its Trainer.

Smeargle is, to say the least, a sketchy Pokémon. It has the lowest base stat total of all Pokémon that are not part of an evolutionary line - or stand-alone Pokémon, as I like to call them - and can't learn any moves through TMs, breeding or Move Tutors. The only move it learns naturally is Sketch, and it learns it up to ten times in its level-up movepool, except when Smeargle already has this move. But that is not what Sketch is about: it should be used immediately to permanently copy an opponent's move. This way, Smeargle is able to legally possess any move in existence (with the exception of Chatter and Struggle), which gives it a number of distinctions:

- It is the only Pokémon to be able to possess Outrage while having the Own Tempo ability, which prevents it from becoming confused at all. This doesn't count for Thrash and Petal Dance, as they are learned by Spinda and Lilligant, respectively. Both have access to Own Tempo.

- It is the only non-starter to legally learn Frenzy Plant, Grass Pledge, Blast Burn, Fire Pledge, Hydro Cannon or Water Pledge. Additionally, it is the only Pokémon that can have these moves in different combinations of types.

- It can pass down any egg-move combinations to any Pokémon in the Field egg group, the group Smeargle belongs to.

- Hidden Power-evaluating NPCs cannot identify the type of Smeargle's Hidden Power, even if it possesses the move. This is because Smeargle cannot learn it through TM.

- Smeargle can Sketch Hyperspace Fury, but this move will fail if it used by any Pokémon other than Hoopa Unbound.

Smeargle and its Da Vinci rip-off. 

Due to it being able to learn any move possible and despite its terrible stats, Smeargle has some serious competitive utility. Its HP and defensive stats are awful, so it is usually holding a Focus Sash in battle to prevent itself from going down in one hit, but at least its speed is halfway decent. With whatever speed-increasing nature, this gives Smeargle a chance to 'attack' sooner than its opponent, usually with status moves like Spore and Dark Void. It is also commonly used for setting up entry hazards like Stealth Rock, Spikes, Toxic Spikes or Sticky Web - or a combination of those moves - and is popularly used as a Taunt or Whirlwind user to bait or force out foes who try to set up with stat-increasing moves like Nasty Plot or Swords Dance or want to remove Smeargle's entry hazards with Defog or Rapid Spin. You can give Smeargle handy status-inflicting moves like Nuzzle (a Thunder Wave on crack), Will-O-Wisp or Toxic, make it bounce back an opponent's status moves with Magic Coat, or let it blow up with Explosion to gain momentum for the rest of your team. Heck, you can let Smeargle set up with moves like Shell Smash, Dragon Dance, Nasty Plot or Shift Gear and Baton Pass the stat boosts on to another Pokémon on your team (you really don't want Smeargle to make use of those stat boosts, because its attacking stats are abhorrent). The possibilities are endless and many people can find a way to make it work competitively, apparently. Just not me. Smeargle is far too dodgy for me to use, and as I'm not much of a competitive player I'd like to play it safe.

Smeargle standing proudly in front of its fancy new painting.

For in-game purposes, Smeargle is useless. Even its flavor isn't all that interesting. Sure, it is based on beagles and French painters (its Korean name Rubeudo
(루브도) even refers to the famous Musée du Louvre in France), but the only thing that stands out is that Smeargle has a tail that resembles a paint brush (hence the move Sketch), which is always oozing with colored fluids that Smeargle uses to mark its territory and express itself. And even though the Pokédex says that the color of the mysterious fluid secreted from its tail is predetermined for each Smeargle, it is always found with a green tail tip in the games; except, of course, when it is shiny. Of course Smeargle's tail tips differ drastically in the anime, but this is the Pokédex in the games I'm talking about, and the games can't do without a bit of inconsistency from Game Freak. Anyway, Smeargle also has the tendency to let its comrades plant footprints on its back. Way to be weird, Smeargle!

Meh, I don't know how I feel about this Pokémon overall. It's an interesting concept, but it's so blandly and poorly executed. Game Freak, could you really not have given it a bit better stat distribution? Its base stat total is now a whopping 250, which is even worse than some Pokémon that are the first stage in a three-stage evolutionary line. Even Hatedisc - uhm... I mean, Luvdisc - has a higher base stat total and that is, like, the most worthless Pokémon in existence. However, I kinda like Smeargle's design, so I guess it jumps the gun here.

GIF of a shiny Smeargle using Dark Void, usually Darkrai's signature move. 

Rating: 4/5

#234: Stantler

If you think that Stantler doesn't look like much, you're absolutely right. Many people forget this Pokémon is a thing, until they're reminded of its existence in some way. Even Smeargle, who is Stantler's successor in the Pokédex, enjoys far more fame for its gimmicky strategy, even though its base stat total is the lowest of all stand-alone Pokémon.

Well, fame... I think 'notoriety' is a better word for it, but you get my point, don't you?

Sawsbuck gets photobombed by Stantler. 

So, Stantler looks like Rudolph's ugly cousin. Although it shares some traits with reindeer indeed, it seems to be based off of several species of deer, especially when you look at its foreign names: the German name for Stantler - Damhirplex - obviously contains the word Damhirsch, which means 'fallow deer', while its Korean name Noraki (노라키) is a pun on noroo, meaning 'roe deer'. Bulbapedia even mentions that it appears to be based on sika deer as well as caribou. I won't even contradict them, because Stantler looks a little bland and it is hard to determine which species of deer was the inspiration for Stantler. The antlers make it even harder, because they don't look like any antlers seen on real-life deer, but at least Game Freak have shown a little creativity in that regard. Some deer - most notably stags - are being hunted for their antlers, and Stantler is no exception. But there is actually a reason for that: Stantler can distort reality and create illusions with its pleasant-smelling antlers by subtly changing the flow of air around itself. Staring into those illusions creates an odd sensation in humans, as if one is being sucked through them, and they can make someone dizzy enough that it is impossible for them to stand. The black spheres on fallen antlers can even be grounded into a powder that aids in curing insomnia. That's why Stantler's antlers are valuable artifacts to Pokémon poachers and the species was nearly driven to extinction.

Sawsbuck (left) vs Stantler (right). I have no doubt Sawsbuck will emerge victorious
from this fight. 

By the way, it's weird that the Japanese think Stantler is based on devices to frighten away animals that pose a threat to agriculture, also known collectively as shishi-odoshi. It's more likely that Stantler's Japanese name Odoshishi (オドシシ) - as well as its Mandarin Chinese name Jīngjiǎolù (驚角鹿), literally 'frightening-antler deer' - refers to Stantler's ability to scare intruders away by means of creating frightening illusions with its antlers, but it's still weird that these devices were the inspiration for Stantler's Japanese name. They don't work even remotely like Stantler does: while Stantler creates illusions and distorts reality, sōzu - a type of shishi-odoshi - are nothing more than bamboo rocker arms ticking on stones to break the quietness and frighten animals, most notably deer. It's as if Game Freak didn't quite grab the essence of the flavor they created for Stantler. But we're talking about Game Freak, what did you expect?

Yup, Xerneas and Sawsbuck are fabulous and still get more love
than poor Stantler does. 

What I didn't expect myself was... a good Pokémon. To be honest, Stantler is pretty goddamn decent. Its base 73 HP stat is just high enough to back up its mediocre defenses, while its base 95 attack and base 85 speed make it a moderately fast and strong physical attacker. Its physical movepool is wide enough in order for you to pick a couple of good moves, including Return, Zen Headbutt, Jump Kick, Earthquake (for some reason), Wild Charge, Megahorn and Iron Tail. The latter two moves are only obtainable through breeding and Move Tutors, respectively, so they can't be acquired in a regular playthrough. There is still a decent amount of moves to choose from, though, even special moves. And I mean, why the heck not? Its base special attack is 85, which isn't that much lower than its base 95 attack stat and isn't bad by any means. I'd still recommend Zen Headbutt over Psychic or Psyshock, but at least it also learns moves like Shadow Ball, Energy Ball and Signal Beam. It depends on the type coverage you need. It's still not all that helpful competitively, but I bet it'll be able to hold its own in a Nuzlocke or normal playthrough. Should you desire to use it in competitive play, an Intimidate mixed or physical attacker holding a Life Orb is a viable option to reduce physical attacks from opposing Pokémon and hit back relatively hard, while its hidden ability Sap Sipper is better for in-game purposes.

After all the shit I've thrown at Stantler, you'd think I dislike the thing. WRONG! Well, I didn't think much of it, but some Pokémon surprise you after having done your research. I actually quite like Stantler now. I thought it was good-for-nothing Pokédex filler, but I think I stand corrected and should revise my opinion. Competitively, it faces competition from bulkier and stronger normal types like Stoutland and Ursaring, respectively, but I'm actually thinking about using one in a future playthrough now.

How writing one single article can change one's mind, right?

Rating: 4/5

#231 - #232: Phanpy & Donphan

Some pretty accurate fan art of Phanpy in its nest nearby the
river. 

Okay, y'all know I have a fondness for cute Pokémon. And let's be honest here, Phanpy is totally cute, but at the same I think its design is just really bland. The only features that makes it look slightly interesting are the red pads on its ears and trunk, but even then Phanpy isn't an overly fascinating Pokémon. Its Pokédex entries mention characteristics that can be pretty much found in real-life elephants, including using its ears as a fan when it's hot or using its trunk to take a shower. It even makes its nests digging a vertical pit in the soil at the edge of a river. It's actually pretty weird Phanpy prefers to be in the vicinity of water, because it's a ground-type Pokémon and ground types are usually weak to water - except when they have a secondary typing or ability that balances out or nullifies that weakness, that is. That is not the case here, however: Phanpy and Donphan are both pure ground types. But whereas Phanpy's playful nature can be potentially painful to humans because it doesn't know its own strength and can send someone flying if it bumps that person too hard with its snout, Donphan can curl up into a ball and violently roll around like a wheel (it does look like a tire when it's rolled up), starting a rampage that will be almost unstoppable. Aside from the rolling thing, I'm pretty sure I've seen these rampage shenanigans fly by on this blog at least three fucking times, so to me it's as if Game Freak couldn't come up with something better.

Now, this is less accurate. Phanpy takes showers using its trunk, but it doesn't create
entire waterfalls. :')

The anime, however, shows that this ability is further used as a form of courtship display, as male Donphan will have rolling competitions to demonstrate their toughness to females. That's pretty much it, I'm afraid. Donphan move in herds and the leader is the one with - you guessed it - the largest tusks. The leader is always the one with the largest something; I haven't seen any exception to the rule yet. At least it learns ground-type moves by level-up, unlike Phanpy. Come to think about it, that is a little bit odd; Phanpy learns Earthquake and Bulldoze, two moves Donphan learns naturally, through TMs (and even Fissure through means of breeding), so why not include them in its level-up movepool? It makes no sense.

This Donphan is 'bout to fuck up its opponent.

Phanpy is not where it's at competitively, though. It's Donphan who takes the spotlight with its excellent stats: its base attack and defense are both a fantastic 120 (it is said that its tackles are strong enough to bring down houses and that its armor-like hide is so thick that a normal attack won't leave a scratch on it), while it its able to back its defense up with its very solid base 90 HP stat, although for some weird reason Phanpy has the exact same base HP as Donphan does. Unfortunately, Donphan is very slow and cannot take special hits very well. That's why I have a tactic that I hope will work, as I'm not that much of a competitive player: Assault Vest Donphan. Run a Donphan with a Careful nature, so that it has slightly higher special defense, and let it hold an Assault Vest, which boosts its special defense by 50% but limits it to using only damaging moves. That is fine, because you can choose from a plethora of physical moves to use on Donphan: Earthquake, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Play Rough, Gunk Shot, Poison Jab, Seed Bomb, Knock Off, Iron Tail, Ice Shard, Fire Fang and Thunder Fang. It even has access to Rapid Spin to get rid of entry hazards, which - unlike Defog - does a little damage and is thus very viable for an Assault Vest set. Furthermore, invest 252 EVs in HP, 252 EVs in attack and 4 in special defense, and you'll have an overall bulky offensive Donphan. Why not try it? It can't hurt, right?

(Disclaimer: Yo guys, I swear to Arceus that I came up with this set for Donphan before I checked Smogon. It is more common for competitive Donphan to know Stealth Rock and carry an item like the Leftovers or a Choice Band, but an Assault Vest set is indeed mentioned on Smogon's website, albeit the recommended ability and EV spread are different. Guess I'm not that bad at composing competitive sets, now am I?)

You'd better flee, 'cause you don't want to get run over by a horde of stampeding
Donphan. 

Personally, I never really cared for Donphan. Admittedly, it is a very good Pokémon to use on any occasion, whether it is in the PSS's Battle Spot or just a regular playthrough. Sometimes I almost think it could easily be forgotten, until I realize it's actually a commonly used Pokémon because it sports some good competitive utility. However, I don't see myself using this thing anytime soon, and I guess I should leave it at that. I don't hate it in the slightest, but I don't think it's in the top percentage of Pokémon either.

Rating: 3.5/5

#228 - #229: Houndour & Houndoom

(Disclaimer: The following paragraph contains some content from Pikachu's Global Adventure: The Rise and Fall of Pokémon by editor Joseph Tobin. It is an informative book containing a collection of essays by various authors analyzing the popularity of Pokémon by addressing core debates about the globalization of popular culture and children's consumption of mass-produced culture.)

TCG art of Houndour.

There has been public outcry from religious parents against Pokémon since it started to be a thing in 1998; in Japan the craze started two years previous, but the franchise has remained relatively free of criticism in its home country, despite the infamous spree of epileptic seizures that the anime episode "Electric Soldier Porygon" induced in young viewers in 1997. In spite of official approval from the Anglican Church and the Vatican in 2000, religious parents and other church officials continue to believe the subliminal messages found in the cartoon series, movies, games and cards are 'tantamount to training children in the occult'. Those so-called malevolent messages include evolution, occultism, violence as a source of power, sexual perversion, and New Age concepts such as reincarnation (wait, I am genuinely confused right now; 'original' Christians don't believe in reincarnation?) and psychic powers. Critics cite Satanic elements in Pokémon, such as 'inflicting pain through slashing, psychic powers, fits of rage and draining the life force out of on opponent', and according to them, Pokémon is nothing short of 'an epic struggle with Satan for the souls of children and adults'. Some parents go as far as making their children burn their cards and destroy their video games.

OMG, this papercraft Houndoom is amazing!

While I personally believe these cries of disapproval and condemnation are nothing but a pile of horseshit, Game Freak did create two Pokémon based on creatures from the underworld: Houndour and Houndoom, who are obviously based on hellhounds. They also share some traits with regular dog breeds like Rottweilers and Doberman Pinschers, and the striped patterns on their backs even make them bear resemblance to the thylacine. While this creature sounds like it's some kind of base liquid, it was actually a marsupial more commonly known as the Tasmanian wolf or Tasmanian tiger (even though it wasn't feline) - not to be confused with the Tasmanian devil - and is believed to have gone extinct in 1936. There are several tales of different kinds of hellhounds in various kinds of folklores, but it's enough to know that Houndour and Houndoom are based on hellhounds in general. And let's be honest here: some of their aesthetics are noticeably satanic, among which the skull-like crest on Houndour's head, Houndoom's curved horns and Houndoom's arrow-shaped tail. The latter is commonly associated with the devil, who is often depicted with a tail ending in a triangular tip. Even Houndour and Houndoom's Japanese names, Delvil (デルビル) and Hellgar (ヘルガー), are obvious references to Hell and the Devil, while Houndoom's French and German names, Démolosse and Hundemon, contain the words démon and Dämon, respectively. I probably don't have to tell you what the English translation of those words is, right?

This more realistic approach of Houndour and Houndoom is fantastic. There are
some really talented artists on the Internet. 

Unfortunately, Houndour's Pokédex entries are excruciatingly lame. They're nothing more than it showing common pack behavior and teamwork with others of its species. Houndoom's also mention pack behavior, but quite differently: the one Houndoom with its horn raked sharply towards its back serves a leadership role in the pack, and the leader is usually chosen by fighting among themselves. Houndoom's guts contain toxins that it uses to create fire, which is why Houndoom's fire has a foul odor and the wounds and pain inflicted by it will never heal or go away. Other Pokémon shudder in fear and flee when they hear its eerie howls, and people from the past imagined its howls to be the call of the Grim Reaper. Now, that's more like a hellhound!

Mega Houndoom.

Houndoom also proves to be quite the hellhound in the competitive scene: it's supposed to be a speedy special attacker with a Timid nature, a Life Orb attached to it, and a moveset consisting of Nasty Plot and three attacking moves. As Houndoom's movepool is kind of lacking, you're stuck with Dark Pulse and Fire Blast, and probably Sludge Bomb or some type of Hidden Power. Mega Houndoom, however, has a whole different tactic: the Sunny Day/Solar Beam combo. While regular Houndoom doesn't have access to the ability Solar Power - the best ability for it is Flash Fire, which lets it absorb fire-type moves and raises its special attack in the process - Mega Houndoom does, and it uses it with flair. This ability increases Mega Houndoom's special attack when the sun is up at the cost of some HP each turn, and when Sunny Day is in effect, fire-type moves get a 50% boost and Solar Beam doesn't require a turn to charge. It's like a Life Orb, only in the form of an ability. It has proved to be quite effective, although you could just slap Nasty Plot on it and replace Solar Beam with something like Taunt or Will-O-Wisp if you want Houndoom to last longer. By the way, have you noticed how Mega Houndoom's tail now almost looks like the devil's trident? Nice touch. Also, its body is now covered with a bone-like armor and the claws on its paws are red because of its ability to generate more heat.

Houndoom in what looks like the middle of a wildfire.

I have nothing but love for this thing, especially since Game Freak decided to give it an awesome Mega. Those who regularly visit my blog have probably deduced by now that I am an atheist, by the use of variations of the word 'goddammit'. I don't have much with religion in general, and that has much to do with religious people in my environment condemning my lifestyle and saying I should turn my life around (I'm gay), but mostly I just think most of them are hateful, hypocritical and biased and don't want me to play Pokémon. So Pokémon based on creatures from the underworld is my definition of irony, although I think Game Freak didn't create Houndour and Houndoom to intentionally offend Christians - or religious people in general. Of course, the main reason why I love Houndoom and its Mega is because they look awesome, but I figured this would be an excellent moment to voice my opinion about religion. I know I don't seem nice right now, but I have had too many negative experiences with Christians in my own country (lucky for me I live in the Netherlands, one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world). However, believe me when I say I'm very much like Houndour: I bark, but I don't bite.

Rating: 5/5