#307 - #308: Meditite & Medicham

Hoenn is home to some of the weirdest Pokémon in the franchise. Exploud is one of them, but Medicham is pretty fucking weird as well, with even a weirder Mega to boot. Fortunately, it's exactly the kind of weird that I like about Exploud, so prepare yourselves for some serious gushing and raving here.

Official art of Meditite, created by Ken Sugimori. I wish I could
say that I like it, but the onion-shaped head and curled ears are
actually a bit dumb. Also, its eyes are way out of proportion. 

First off, there's Meditite. Y'know, the mediocrity that is called a pre-evolution? That is to say, there are only a few pre-evos that appeal to me more than their final forms - Pikachu, Dragonair and Spheal, for example - and Meditite ain't one of them. Its flavor is quite original for a fighting-type Pokémon, though, and I like it well enough: Meditite usually sits in a yoga position, heightening its inner energy and spiritual power through meditation in order for it to levitate. In yoga, this position is called the Lotus position - or Padmāsana - and supposedly holds the mind completely steady for long periods of time and calms it. However, Meditite always loses its concentration and focus while meditating and thus its training never ends, keeping itself dedicatedly busy with rigorous meditation every day for hours on end. It only eats one berry per day as part of its spiritual training, as it is said that enduring hunger results in a tempered spirit and a sharper mind. Of course, these characteristics explain why Meditite also has the secondary psychic typing on top of its fighting type and why its only regular ability is Pure Power, which doubles its actual attack stat. It's basically Huge Power, but for weird humanoid yoga Pokémon - to this day, the ability is exclusive to Meditite and Medicham.

Medicham is ready to kick some ass! 

The latter of which is one of my favorite Pokémon for a reason, by the way. Instead of having an onion head, like Meditite, Medicham looks like it is wearing a turban - or at least some kind of Arabian headgear. It seems to be based on a couple of deities from the Hindu religion, of which meditation is a prominent aspect, but the bedlah pants and the headgear that resembles a shāl (shawl; compare the Dutch word sjaal, which means 'scarf') give Medicham the appearance of Arabian belly dancers, while the headpiece growth on top of its head resembles a ponytail that can be seen on Persian genies in American fiction. Its flavor is also a lot more interesting than Meditite: Medicham can harness great psychokinetic powers through the practice of meditation, because it has developed a sixth sense that allows it to predict the opponent's next move. To blend it with the belly dancer thing, Medicham battles with elegant, dance-like moves so that it can dodge attacks and launch devastating blows (which is no lie). By becoming one with nature, it can merge itself with its surroundings without much difficulty and vanish, only to focus on its meditation for more than a month without any food; in fact, the deprivation of food allows it to see its opponents' auras. Did you absorb that information? Medicham deprives itself of food to enhance its sixth sense, with which it can predict what its opponent is going to do in battles. In theory, Medicham should never lose or get hit, but of course that's not how it works - not even in the anime - and I bloody damn well know that.

I like how Mega Medicham is depicted as a hieroglyph, given the
fact that its most prominent features are derived from Arabic and
Persian culture.

That is not to say, however, that you shouldn't be cautious around Medicham. Its base 60 attack stat may not look like it's powerful, but its actual attack can reach 480 at level 100 when Pure Power is applied, along with other factors like IVs, EV training and a beneficial nature. Its speed is kind of subpar, but that could easily be fixed by giving it a Choice Scarf. A Choice Band might be an option to boost its ridiculous attack stat even further, although a Life Orb boosts all of its moves without locking it into only one move until you switch it out, because its movepool is way too good for that: aside from STAB High Jump Kick and STAB Zen Headbutt, Medicham also has access to excellent coverage moves like Thunder Punch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch, Rock Slide and Poison Jab, and even priority moves like Fake Out and Bullet Punch. Drain Punch is a STAB fighting-type move that heals Medicham for half the damage done to the target and is much more reliable than High Jump Kick, as the latter may be strong (130 power!) but takes away half of Medicham's health if it misses. Drain Punch is a safer alternative, but you could also use both at the same time and fill the remaining two moveslots with Zen Headbutt and a good coverage move that perfectly suits your needs for the upcoming battle.

Medicham is awesome.

Mega Medicham (left) and its shiny form (right). Medicham - and by extension its
Mega evolution - has one of the best shiny color palettes in the games. 

But wait a minute, wait a minute... I'm not done yet! Medicham has a Mega evolution that's even more awesome than its regular form. The shawl on its head has transformed into what's obviously a turban now, the harem pants have more accessories to them (look at them frills and beads!), and behind Mega Medicham itself now float four additional arms. These ghost-like arms were formed by Mega Medicham itself by using its enhanced willpower and are more realistic and dexterous the more trained its spirit is. However, not only Mega Medicham's spirit is enhanced, its power has gone through the roof as well! Base 100 attack would normally be nothing more than just good, but Medicham retains Pure Power upon Mega-evolving and can reach an attack stat of 656 when all the right factors are into play. That's only a little bit less than Mega Mawile's attack stat when Huge Power is in effect, but the only reason why Mega Medicham didn't end up in Ubers (Smogon's legendary tier) is because it isn't able to learn Swords Dance and Mega Mawile is. Moreover, Mega Medicham is relatively frail compared to Mega Mawile, even though its decent speed stat may rescue it from getting hit first from time to time.

Mega Medicham (left) in combat with one of the best Megas ever (Mega Aggron,
right). The former has a type advantage over the latter, but I hope Mega Aggron
is winning.

I love everything about Medicham, but I love its Mega the most. It's definitely one of the weirdest Pokémon Hoenn has to offer, and it has one of the most unique Gen. III designs. I fell in love with Medicham when I used one in an Omega Ruby playthrough. It one-shotted everything, although it had a Brave nature, so it was outsped by other Pokémon more often than not.

Not that it bothered me. Much.

Anyway, it won't surprise anybody that, after all this praise, I'm giving Medicham and its Mega a deserved rating of 5 more-than-perfect little stars. Big time.

Rating: 5/5

#304 - #306: Aron, Lairon & Aggron

Now, I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass, goddamn or flying fuck about Aron and Lairon, but MAN do I love Aggron.

Adorable little Aron being adorable on its rock.

Okay, I said I would talk about every Pokémon, so let's get Aron and Lairon out of the way, shall we? It's not like I hate these Pokémon, but I just wanna talk about Aggron and its pre-evolutions are really rather unremarkable. In fact, the whole line follows a pretty generic evolutionary path: cute first stage, awkward-looking middle stage and badass final stage, even making the big bad beast stand on its hind legs. Amphibian and reptiloid Pokémon do look better when they're bipedal, anyway. Look at Charizard, Nidoking and Rhyperior, for example; I can't ever imagine them being quadrupeds. For what it is, though, Aron ain't bad and I'd dare say it's pretty cute. A cute little pest at that, as extreme hunger will sometime drive it to descend from the mountains to eat bridges or rails - if it can't find any iron ore to feed on in its natural habitat, that is. Iron ore is running out there at a rapid pace, anyway, as this iron ore is also used by Aron to construct its steel body. While Aron may not look strong, one all-out carge can completely demolish a dump truck. Lairon discards the old steel carapace covering its body when it evolves and creates an entirely new armor of steel, sturdier and more effective; it uses its newly acquired armor to bash into others of its species over territory - sparks fly when that occurs, and the sound of their collision carries for miles - or just because it wants to show off its tremendous strength. It tempers its metallic body by drinking highly nutritious mineral springwater and eating rocks rich in iron until it is bloated/stuffed.

Lairon.

But neither of these Pokémon are as badass as Aggron. The longer its horns are, the older it is, and the more wounds Aggron has, the more it has battled; the gouges in its armor from the battles it's had are even worn as mementos. It claims an entire mountain as its territory and agressively defends it against anything or anyone, even mercilessly beating up humans if it has to. But if its mountain is ravaged by a landslide or fire, it will haul the best soil to the area and plant trees there, beautifully restoring its own territory. Isn't that all kinds of adorable? To put it with the words of Bogleech here: secretly, deep in its heart, Aggron is nothing more than a big old softie, even though it is based on the iron-eating monster Bulgasari from Korean mythology. Its pre-evolutions also seem to based on this creature, but less so, and the claim that they are somehow dragon-like - check out Lairon's namesake, the word 'dragon' is all over the place - is ridiculous to me. Sure, the entire line are defined by their saurian features, but that doesn't make them dragons; they're steel/rock types, not steel/dragon types, and Aggron's Mega evolution even loses the rock type to become a pure steel type. If anything, Lairon and Aggron look more like dinosaurs.

Some explosive fan art of Aggron (above) and its
Mega form (below). 

Competitively, Aggron can be a good asset to any team when used right. With its monstrous base 180 defense and excellent base 110 attack, it can hit hard and tank physical hits. Especially the combination of an Adamant nature, a Choice Band and the ability Rock Head, which prevents any recoil damage from moves that have exactly that as a side effect, allows it to deal massive damage with a move called Head Smash. You'll have to breed it onto Aron, but it'll be worth it. On top of that, Aggron has some excellent type coverage: Heavy Slam is a STAB steel-type move that deals more damage the heavier Aggron is compared to the opposing Pokémon - even though Iron Head and Smart Strike (a move that never misses) deal fixed damage and might be more reliable - and it has access to moves of various other types, such as Earthquake, Dragon Claw, Dragon Rush, Brick Break, Superpower, Low Kick, Aqua Tail and the elemental punches (Thunder Punch, Ice Punch and Fire Punch). If you use Mega Aggron, however, another strategy is required. Because it loses the rock typing to become a pure steel type, it also loses its quadruple weaknesses to ground and fighting, which is nice. Plus, the Filter ability lets super-effective damage do 25% less on Mega Aggron than normally, substantially making it even more bulky than it already is: base 230 defense is monstrous, even tying with Shuckle and Mega Steelix for the highest base defense stat, and its base 80 special defense is also quite passable. It likes to cripple opposing Pokémon with Thunder Wave, set up Stealth Rock so that opponents take a little damage depending on their types when they're switched in, deal heavy damage with a STAB Heavy Slam (pun most definitely intended), and tank physical hits like they're flies colliding with a windshield due to an Impish nature. Mega Aggron lacks any recovery other than Rest, but it has top-notch endurance in the first place, so you don't necessarily have to worry about that.

Mega Aggron in TCG art. If you still don't think it looks like a beast, you're gonna
have to have your eyes checked. 

I absolutely adore everything about Aggron, from its flavor and design to its Mega and competitive prowess. I think it embodies the term 'monster' perfectly, even more so than Pokémon like Tyranitar and Tyrantrum and the like, but maybe I'm a little biased in that regard. Steel is my favorite type in the games, and Aggron is everything a steel type should be like: its minimalistic color palette keeps its design from becoming too busy and focuses perfectly on the steel elements of said design. Aggron's Mega evolution is even one of my favorites as well, coming third after Steelix's (obviously also a steel type) and Pidgeot's. It'll come as no surprise to anyone that I'm giving this Pokémon a perfect rating.

Rating: 5/5

#303: Mawile

A Sableye making itself comfortable in
Mawile's jaw. These two Pokémon are often
seen as counterparts.

Mawile can be seen as a counterpart to Sableye, whom I discussed exactly a week ago. Like Sableye, this Pokémon is quite unique, although it is based on yet another Japanese mythical being, so its basic form doesn't appeal to me as much as Sableye's basic form does, despite the fact that it's actually a steel type (I can't remember if I mentioned it already, but steel is my favorite of the 18 types currently available in the games). Mawile is based on the Japanese myth of the futakuchi-onna, literally 'two-mouthed woman'. This type of yōkai is characterized by her two mouths - a normal one and a second one located on the back of her head; or rather in the back of her head. The origin of this second mouth is pretty terrifying: in many stories, the soon-to-be futakuchi-onna is a wife of a miser and rarely eats. That's why a second mouth mysteriously appears in the back of the woman's head, often mumbling spiteful and threatening things to her and demanding food. If it's not fed, it can screech obscenely and cause the woman tremendous pain. Ultimately, though, the woman's long hair begins to move on its own like a pair of serpents, so that the second mouth can help itself to twice the amount of food the woman usually consumes. In other stories, the mouth forms from an axe wound she sustains accidentally or even because her own husband tries to murder her. The jaw on the back on Mawile's head, however, is just a set of transformed steel horns that Mawile uses to chomp its foes with after it lulls them out of wariness or into complacency with its docile-looking face. In other words, Mawile is a dangerous creature that likes to deceive people and other Pokémon, hence its classification as the 'Deceiver Pokémon'. Everything comes together when you look at the origins of Mawile's English and foreign names, too: a maw is the mouth of a voracious animal - an animal devouring great quantities of food - and a wile is a strategem or trick intended to deceive or ensnare, while its foreign names are all plays on 'jaw', 'mandible', 'lying' and 'cheating' and the like.

Mega Mawile. 

But Mawile's regular form is nothing compared to its Mega evolution, who suddenly has two sets of jaw-like appendages protruding from its head. While the single jaw is strong enough to chew through iron beams on itself, the pair of jaws can be controlled individually by Mega Mawile and boast tremendous power. Looking at Mega Mawile's ability and base attack stat, that should not come as a surprise: a base attack stat of 105 is already nothing to sneeze at, but the ability Huge Power will raise its physical prowess to ridiculous levels. When you have a Pokémon with a base attack stat of 105, perfect IVs, an attack-beneficial nature (Adamant, Lonely, Naughty and Brave) and EV training in said attack stat, its physical proficiency can be as high as 339 - a massive 678 when Huge Power is applied! This effectively makes Mega Mawile the strongest Pokémon in the game. In fact, its attack stat even exceeds the limit of 669 attack (255 base attack, as 255 is the highest possible 8-digit binary number), equalling a Pokémon with a base attack stat of 259. Mega Mawile's base stat total may be only 480 - the lowest among all Mega forms, along with Mega Sableye - but Huge Power made Smogon ban it from any competitive tier lower than Uber, the tier where powerful legendaries like Rayquaza, Lugia, Dialga, Reshiram and Zekrom reside as well. It is that strong.

Mawile standing next to its Poké Ball.

Unfortunately, Mega Mawile is more of a hit-and-run Pokémon. Its defense is great and its special defense is quite good, too, but its mediocre HP can't back up its good defensive stats and its speed is nothing to write home about. You can't do anything about its speed, either, because Mawile can't learn Agility or Autotomize and can't hold any stat-enhancing items such as the Choice Scarf because it needs to hold a Mega Stone to Mega-evolve. Then again, Mega Mawile has access to some excellent STAB moves like Iron Head and Play Rough (as of Gen. VI, Mawile is a fairy type in addition to its primary steel type), as well as some superb type coverage in Crunch, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Brick Break, Sucker Punch, Knock Off, Thunder Punch, Ice Punch and the elemental fangs. The latter have a base power of 65 and are quite weak compared to moves that are usually used in the competitive scene, but Mega Mawile is so strong that I think it can pull them off quite well if you are in need of them, especially after a Swords Dance boost (yup, as if Huge Power combined with a base attack of 105 wasn't enough already, Mega Mawile can also sharply boost its attack with Swords Dance). As it's not fast to begin with, it's a given you should slap an Adamant nature on it, making it an absolute powerhouse. It even leaves huge dents in defensive teams, easily knocking out Pokémon in two or three hits that are not very effective on them.

Hey Mega Sableye, don't lose your big-ass gemstone. Its defensive qualities are
what makes you competitively viable in the first place. 

It's Mega Mawile's offensive prowess what makes me like this Pokémon in the first place, although I like its design more than regular Mawile's as well. The pink hakama (a type of Japanese garment) make it more reminiscent of the Japanese lore of the futakuchi-onna and also emphasize its fairy typing. Well, in my opinion, anyway. There are plenty of steel-type Pokémon that end up high on my list of favorite Pokémon - in fact, Aggron and its pre-evolutions are next on my rating list - but Mawile will have to do with 4.5 stars rather than 5, the same as Sableye.

+0.5 for originality and +1 for the awesome Mega.

Rating: 4.5/5

#302: Sableye

Creepy fan art of Sableye. It uses its sharp claws to dig through
the earth and excavate gems, which it then devours.

Now, this Pokémon is a real gem, literally and figuratively. The dark/ghost Sableye is inarguably, indisputably, irrefutably an obscure and creepy but unique Pokémon. A goblin-like creature with sharp teeth and claws and eyes like diamonds that sparkle in the dark and allow it to see in low light, it is feared by many people because it's said that looking directly into its eyes will cause it steal one's soul away. Those eyes are not the only gemstones to be found on its body, though: it has a red gem on its chest, and on its back are a blue and green gemstone as well as another red one, which is probably a reference to the trio of games of the generation it debuted in. The diamond eyes and gem-like adornments on Sableye's body are the result of its diet, which consists of rock and raw gemstones. It even preys on Carbink, but it is apparently too slow to catch them, as they're usually taken by Gabite before Sableye can even do so much as to lay a hand on them. The whole gemstone thing extends through its Mega evolution as well: all the energy from Mega-evolving is concentrated into the red jewel on its chest, which detaches from Sableye's body and significantly increases in size, leaving a small hole in Mega Sableye's chest. Mega Sableye now shelters itself behind the large and heavy jewel, which is said to boast such incredible hardness that nothing even leaves so much as a scratch on it. Hiding behind the jewel comes with some benefits and disadvantages: Mega Sableye can take advantage of opening its targets leave exposed, but supporting the massive jewel makes it too slow to turn around, which makes it vulnerable from behind.

I especially like the lore behind Sableye's design, though. Brace yourselves.

Amazing fan art of Sableye picking its teeth after a delicious
meal consisting of rubies, sapphires and emeralds.

Sableye is based on the Hopkinsville Goblin, which is claimed to be an extraterrestrial being encountered in the towns of Kelly and Hopkinsville in the state of Kentucky (where the chicken comes from). On an August day in 1955, five immensely dumb adults and seven extremely gullible children arrived at the Hopkinsville police station claiming that small alien creatures in a spaceship repeatedly popped up at the doorway or peered through the windows of their farmhouse, attacking them. They had been holding the creatures off with gunfire for four hours, or so they said. Four remarkably clever city policemen, five unusually intelligent state troopers, four outstandingly bright military policemen from a nearby army base and three incredibly smart deputy sheriffs were concerned about a possible gun battle between local citizens and decided to take a look anyway, even though they found nothing but holes in window and door screens made by firearms. The story got widespread coverage in local and national press, although details such as "large pointed ears, claw-like hands, eyes that glowed yellow and spindly legs" only appeared in various media much later than the date of occurrence. A couple of exceptionally wise sceptics presumed that the creatures were just great horned owls - which have pointed ears and yellow eyes and aggressively defend their nests - that were misidentified by the hopelessly stupid Hopkinsville people because they were intoxicated, yet many tremendously crazy people called ufologists regard the whole affair as one of the most significant and well-documented cases in the history of UFO incidents.

Yeah, right. Alcohol ruins lives, people, so drink responsibly.

Anyway, The Hopkinsville aliens are most famous and popular in Japan, where they have appeared in various anime shows and video games, including Pokémon: the 'spindly legs' part caused the creatures to make swaying motions that are even demonstrated by Sableye's 3D movements in Gen. VI and Gen. VII.

Official art of Mega Sableye.

Unfortunately, neither regular Sableye nor Mega Sableye are very good in battle. The latter is even tied with Mega Mawile for having the lowest base stat total of all Mega-evolved Pokémon, at 480. That's not particularly a good base stat total for a Pokémon that is not holding an item other than a Mega Stone. Mega Sableye has excellent defense and special defense, sure, and its ability Magic Bounce lets it bounce back most status moves to the user (I think the only exception is Memento), but its mediocre HP stat doesn't back up its great defenses and its attacking stats are no more than decent. However, Sableye - and therefore also Mega Sableye, obviously - has access to reliable recovery in the move Recover, priority damage in Fake Out and priority Will-O-Wisp due to the Prankster ability; be careful, because regular Sableye is quite frail and Prankster will change into Magic Bounce upon Mega-evolving. As for the fourth and last moveslot, Foul Play is a decent option to attack with, as this move uses the opponent's attack stat rather than Mega Sableye's attack stat. It'll pay off most of the time, and even if Foul Play should be weaker, it's still a STAB move. For more reliability you could also use Knock Off, which even knocks off the opposing Pokémon's held item, rendering it unusable for the rest of the battle. In that case, Impish is the preferred nature for Mega Sableye, boosting its defense and lowering its special attack - which it isn't gonna use, anyway. Using regular Sableye is out of the question, unless you teach it Taunt and give it the Leftovers, which can make it somewhat viable as a blocker for Pokémon that want to set up an entry hazard or try to remove yours. There are much better options out there for that, though, and it is much better to just use Mega Sableye instead.

Sableye as seen in the anime. 

I think Sableye has an interesting and unique design and flavor to it and I definitely consider its Mega as one of the most original ones. Sableye has never been one of my favorite Pokémon, but I have to say that I've gotten more respect for the people who created it, as even I acknowledge the distinctiveness and originality of its design. Of course, at the end of the day it's just based on yet another mythical creature, but at least this time it's a mythical creature from modern history rather than ancient or postclassical history; the Kelly-Hopkinsville event was pretty recent in comparison, occurring 'only' 62 years ago. Moreover, this whole gemstone thing used to be unique to Sableye until Carbink and Diancie came into play, so it's not as if there wasn't some thought put into Sableye's whole concept. This Pokémon's getting a solid 4-star rating.

Rating: 4/5

#300 - #301: Skitty & Delcatty

In Meowth and Persian's review I already mentioned that I absolutely adore cats (kittens in particular), and that was not a lie, because cats are - and always will be - my favorite animals. My love for these fluffy creatures even carries over to Pokémon, as some feline Pokémon in the franchise are very high on of my all-time favorites list; Luxray has been my absolute favorite Pokémon since 2007, and Persian and the entire Litten family could easily be top-10 material. Heck, even Mew is feline to some extent, and I love that Pokémon.

The only exceptions are Skitty and Delcatty.

Fan art of a bunch of Skitty playing with a reluctant Spheal. 

Now, I don't hate Skitty and Delcatty, but they're so... bland. Many people suggest that you could also say that about Persian, especially when it comes to its design, but that Pokémon at least had a little bit of personality to it. What's more, Persian isn't entirely useless in battle, because the Technician/Nasty Plot combo proved to be very effective during my ORAS cat playthrough. There is a reason I didn't include Delcatty in my team, though: it's a terrible battler. while Gen. VII made Delcatty faster, it didn't make it stronger, having a base special attack of only 55 and no moves to reliably boost that stat whatsoever. Nor does it have access to a move to boost its attack stat (base 65), for that matter. Delcatty may have a wide movepool of both physical and special attacks, but its ability Normalize changes all of its moves - including status moves such as Thunder Wave and Toxic - into normal-type moves, which is bad. I cannot fathom why on earth anybody would be okay with excellent type coverage being changed into what is perhaps the most boring and least effective type in the Pokémon universe. Sure, you could opt for Cute Charm instead, but that doesn't solve the problem of Delcatty's attacking stats being terrible to the max - with no ways to boost them significantly. Well, Work Up is the best it gets, raising both its attack and special attack by one stage each, but it just doesn't compare to the two-stage special attack boost Nasty Plot provides. Unortunately, Delcatty does not have access to that move, so it's better to shy away from this Pokémon entirely.

Pretty cool 3D art of Delcatty. 

And it's not like Skitty and Delcatty's Pokédex entries are any better. Skitty behaves pretty much like a pet kitten, being fascinated by anything that moves and having the tendency to pursue them. It even chases its own tail until it becomes dizzy from it. Delcatty is more mature, being a real pacifist and avoiding conflicts wherever possible; when it is disturbed, it just moves to another area rather than starting a fight. Additionally, it likes to do everything at its own pace, so its daily routine is random. The Pokédex entries claim that both Skitty and Delcatty are more popular among female Trainers - Skitty for its adorable looks and Delcatty for its sublime fur - but this is not an accurate representation of real life: a trillion cat memes and videos that you can find on the Internet suggest that the popularity of cat is more gender-neutral.

In short, there is nothing overly remarkable about Skitty and Delcatty; for the most part, they behave like normal cats do. But whereas it's is fine when a normal cat behaves like a normal cat, it comes across as bland when it's the characteristic of what's supposed to be an occult creature with excessive powers. I mean, I get that not every Pokémon is as strong or interesting, but it's another thing entirely to come up with features that are so bland the whole Pokémon ends up being uninteresting. It's a shame, because I really like Delcatty's design (except for the awkward feet) and I think this Pokémon could've been so much more, both competitively and characteristically.

Little Skitty by the water, as seen on a TCG card.

You'd think that after all this 'trash talk' I would give Delcatty a bad rating, but that couldn't have been any further from the truth. As I said before, I actually quite like its design, and that counts for something, too. I like the random pincushion parts of its design; and while Bulbapedia states these parts are actually based on foxtail grass and Skitty and Delcatty's Japanese names of Eneco (エネコ) and Enekororo (エネコロロ) seem to support that, as enokorogusa means 'foxtail grass', I really don't see it. Ah, whatevs. Skitty and Delcatty are cute enough for a decent rating of 3.5 stars, even though it's a shame they're awful battlers, even in-game.

P.S.: Eneco is actually the name of a Dutch electricity supplier, so I actually laughed my ass off when I saw Skitty's Japanese name. Heh.

Rating: 3.5/5

#299, #476: Nosepass & Probopass

Oh, nose! Not these Pokémon...

I'm not really looking forward to this review, to be honest. Probopass used to be my least favorite Pokémon along with Lickilicky, but I realized Lickilicky really is dumber and uglier and just rubs me the wrong way every time I'm looking at it, while my reaction to Probopass nowadays is more like, "Nah, not for me, thank you very much." A couple of weeks ago I realized that even Pelipper is worse than Probopass. Good GOD, if Sun and Moon don't make you despise Pelipper, I don't know what does...

Excellently papercraft Nosepass. 

Anyway, like with Lickilicky's pre-evo Lickitung, I must say I've never had a problem with Probopass's pre-evolution, Nosepass. In fact, Nosepass used to be a stand-alone rock-type Pokémon until it got this hideous evolution exactly one generation later. Like Lickitung, it is kind of mediocre, but at least it has kind of a cooler flavor and design to it, being based on a compass as well as on one of those mo'ai statues you can find on Easter Island. Its nose - based on the magnetic ethmoid bone that is located between the nasal cavity and the brain and is known to give specific species of birds their sense of direction - is always pointed northwards and exudes a strong magnetism that becomes even stronger in colder seasons; it even prevents Nosepass to face or go near others of its kind, because their noses repel each other. Not that they'd come very far, though, because Nosepass were thought to be completely unmoving until close observation has revealed that they actually move a little over ⅜ of an inch every year. If I could move so little every year without becoming Lickilicky, that would be absolutely astounding, but alas... At any rate, Nosepass is perfectly capable of sensing danger, and it raises the magnetism in its nose to draw iron objects to its body to protect itself (the same technique is used to capture prey), hence why Probopass acquires the steel typing upon evolution.

Official Sugimori art of Probopass. Now look at it and tell me that
the mustache doesn't look dumb. And that pukao makes it look
like it has some big red button on its head. This is such a shitty
design, i.m.o.

Yeah, Probopass... It's still based on a mo'ai statue, this time on a bigger one wearing a pukao, and iron filings that make it look like it has a mustache can clearly be seen beneath its humongous nose. I have a problem with those iron filings, because it's the fraudulent mustache that made me hate Probopass on Lickilicky levels. Of course, the iron filings are only present in its design because they're attracted to Probopass's tremendously magnetic nose, but along with that dumb pukao they also make its design unappealing. Like, big-time. It's a shame, really, because the concept of a compass rose (Probopass's main nose still faces the North, but it also freely controls and attacks with three units called Mini-Noses, pointing to the East, South and West, respectively) isn't a bad one by any means; it's just too poorly executed. On top of that, the evolution method of leveling up certain Pokémon in a special electromagnetic field present in the games is especially irksome when said magnetic field is nowhere in sight until near the end of the game, like New Mauville in ORAS - or Vast Poni Canyon in Sun and Moon, for that matter, because it took ages to evolve my Charjabug into a goddamn Vikavolt.

Anyway, let's not digress too much here.

Here you can clearly see the three units Probopass controls. 

Fortunately, evolving Nosepass into Probopass pays off. While Probopass doesn't have much offensive presence, its special attack is good enough for in-game purposes, especially when you take into consideration that both of its defenses are magnificent - with base 145 defense and 150 special defense, you'll be sure your Probopass can live a few hits. Competitively, however, Probopass serves more as a defensive pivot: it can set up Stealth Rock, paralyze or poison foes with a respective Thunder Wave or Toxic, Taunt opposing Pokémon into using only damaging moves to prevent them from setting up, and damage-switch with Volt Switch in order for you to gain momentum. In combination with the Leftovers for it to hold and a Calm or Bold nature, Probopass will live long enough to irritate your opponent. As for its ability, Sturdy is by far the better option and prevents Probopass from being KO'ed by ground- and fighting-type moves, to which it has quadruple weaknesses. Alternatively, Magnet Pull only works with an offensive moveset, so that Probopass can trap steel types and knock them out with an Earth Power boosted by a Modest nature. The Choice Specs may help boost its offensive prowess even further, although without Sturdy it is better to give it an Air Balloon so that it won't get hit by ground-type moves - for as long as another move doesn't make the darn thing pop, that is. It's not like Probopass's offensive movepool is all that shabby, either: it has decent STAB moves in Power Gem and Flash Cannon and very good coverage in Thunderbolt, Earth Power and even Dazzling Gleam.

The only problem is that its base 75 special attack isn't anything to write home about, so if you can make its offensive moveset work, I'd be more than happy to bestow all honor and glory upon you!

But yeah, Probopass... I may not hate it as much as I used to, but I still don't like it. I'm very, very kind in giving it two stars.

Rating: 2/5

#296 - #297: Makuhita & Hariyama

Makuhita's official artwork, drawn by - who else? - Ken
Sugimori.

We start the new year with two sumo wrestler Pokémon. That is already really apparent in their designs and typing, but becomes especially apparent when you look at the fact that Makuhita and Makunoshita (マクノシタ) are a corruption of makushita, which is the third highest devision in sumo wrestling. Hariyama's name is a little more complicated than that; it may be based on hariyama, which is literally a pincushion but also the name of a sumo ranking, although its Japanese name of Hariteyama (ハリテヤマ) suggests that it is also most likely a combination of harite - an open-hand slap move in sumo - and yama ('mountain'). The latter doesn't surprise me, because when you look at Hariyama's in-game battle sprite in Gen. VI onwards, you'll find that it's actually a big boy - a very big boy indeed. It's not so big that its head isn't even seen on the upper screen of my 3DS (I am looking at you, Alolan Exeggutor), but I assume it has one of the biggest sprites in X, Y, Sun, Moon and ORAS. Trust me, I know, because I used one in my Omega Ruby playthrough and I remember being quite underwhelmed by it. That has nothing to do with its size and little with its excellent HP and attack stats, but more with the fact that Hariyama doesn't really feel like a legitimate Pokémon. More on that later.

You are not going to tell me Makuhita is only 3'03" tall. Max is, like, eight years old
and should at least be a couple of inches taller than Makuhita. 

Makuhita, then. This tenacious, tireless and feisty little thing never stops getting up and attacking its foe no matter how many times it's knocked down. Never giving up hope, Makuhita eats a lot of food, gets plenty of sleep and devotes itself to rigorous and strenuous training first thing in the morning by slamming its body into thick trees, turning them to splinters. Makuhita stores more and more energy in its body every time it gets back up and hereby prepares itself for evolution. In addition to all characteristics above, Makuhita got a Pokédex entry in Sun that thoroughly confuses me: "It was originally brought in from another region, but now Makuhita from Alola are more famous." Huh? What do wild Makuhita in Alola do - besides charging at you when you enter the tall grass - to become so famous? This Pokémon didn't get an Alola Forme; that feature is reserved for a handful of Kanto Pokémon only, and Makuhita is from Hoenn. Or are they more notorious than they are famous? Unfortunately, the Pokédex doesn't bother explaining and we're left in the dark as to why the hell Makuhita from Alola get more attention than those in Hoenn.

Did an NPC in Sun and Moon mention something about it? Did I miss it?

Big bad Hariyama.

Ugh, I'm probably pondering too much over that one particular Pokédex entry. It's time to get a move on and proceed with Hariyama, Makuhita's evolution. It may look like a fat-ass, but its body consists mostly of muscles - which become hard as stone when its body tenses - as opposed to fat. Hariyama likes to match power with other big-bodied Pokémon and can stomp the ground to build power, while its powerful open-handed and straight-arm punches cause 10-ton trucks to be sent flying and telephone poles to be smashed to smithereens. Its powerful arms can even stop running trains. Like Makuhita, Hariyama dedicates a lot of time and effort into its own training, but as it grows older it focuses more on training Makuhita.

A more 'realistic' depiction of Hariyama, showing a sumo
wrestling stance (well, kind of) and a more muscular body. 

While Makuhita and Hariyama's Pokédex entries talk about sturdy bodies and hard-as-stone muscles, these Pokémon are surprisingly frail. Well, Hariyama has a beefy base HP stat of 144 that enables it to live a couple of hits, but its base defense and special defense are both a mediocre 60, meaning a strong hit will leave a respectable dent in its health bar. That can be solved by giving Hariyama an Assault Vest to hold in order to boost its special defense by 50% and make it a specially bulky physical attacker with resistances to fire and ice due to its ability Thick Fat. Hariyama is slow, so an attack-boosting nature like Adamant is the better option for you, allowing it to hit hard with a wide variety of physical moves. Its fighting type makes Close Combat a move to watch out for, but remember that this move lowers both of Hariyama's defensive stats every time it is used. On the flip side, Hariyama has access to many more moves for you to use: Earthquake, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Poison Jab, Iron Head and the elemental punches provide some excellent coverage (Poison Jab is especially handy against fairy types, to which Hariyama is weak), while Knock Off allows it to knock off the opposing Pokémon's item and Bullet Punch and Fake Out could be considered for some decent priority.

That's not all, though: Guts is an ability that increases Hariyama's attack by 50% when it suffers from a status condition, so you could give it a Flame Orb or Toxic Orb instead. However, this tactic wears it down relatively easy - the same goes for a Life Orb - so only use it when you know what you're doing. A safer alternative might be a Choice Band, but this item locks Hariyama into one single move until it is switched out. At least it leaves room for you to choose either of Hariyama's regular abilities. And while its hidden ability Sheer Force, which removes the added effects of moves in exchange for a little more power, might sound good, you'll find that it's not as useful on Hariyama as on any other Pokémon with the same ability; there are only a few moves that benefit from it and none of them are STAB moves.

A wallpaper focusing on Hariyama's features rather than its entire design. 

Like I said earlier in my review, I was left quite underwhelmed by Hariyama's battle prowess. It's not like it had a low attack IV or something, and its HP stat didn't leave it all that vulnerable either, but I guess I wasn't looking forward to using this thing. I had a Sceptile with an Adamant nature, a Cosplay Pikachu (Pikachu Belle with Icicle Crash), a big-ass whale and a shiny Swellow on the same squad, so Hariyama ultimately ended up being the one Pokémon I didn't use all that often. And while I don't have a problem with humanoid Pokémon as a whole, Hariyama is just a little bit too humanoid to my taste. Makuhita and its top-notch topknot don't face that problem and I'd even dare say it's kind of cute. It's such a shame, because the concept of sumo wrestler Pokémon ain't a bad one by any means and Hariyama isn't a bad Pokémon to use, either. I'm just... not as charmed by it as I probably should be, I guess? I'm sorry, even with the best will in the world I can't give it a good rating.

Rating: 2.5/5