#532 - #534: Timburr, Gurdurr & Conkeldurr

In today's episode of 'Blatant Unova Rip-Offs of Kanto Pokémon': Machop, Machoke and Machamp 2.0, only with swelling veins visible all over the surface of their bodies. Yikes.

Timburr ready to attack while tightly holding on to its
squared log.

Conceptually, though, the Timburr family really couldn't differ any more from their Kanto counterparts. While Machop, Machoke and Machamp don't seem to be based on anything more than musclemen, Timburr and its evolutions Gurdurr and Conkeldurr are obviously supposed to be construction workers judging from the objects they're holding, although Machop is most commonly associated with construction sites in its respective region as well: surely you haven't forgotten the empty plot of land in the northeastern part of Vermilion City, where an old man's Machop is preparing it for construction of a building. Timburr - which is a corruption of 'timber' - is always carrying around a squared log with it, hence its name. This Pokémon shows up at building sites to help out with construction, but I can only imagine the wooden beam it is carrying tremendously hinders it in its work. Timburr carries bigger logs as it grows, and once it can handle the lumber without difficulty, it is close to evolving - although in reality, Timburr just evolves into Gurdurr at level 25. Gurdurr - which, similarly to Timburr's name, is a corruption of 'girder' - is known to usually carry an I-beam girder in its arms that it uses to train its muscles. It is so buff, in fact, that even a group of professional wrestlers attacking it won't be able to budge it. Like Timburr, it is found at construction sites, but its Pokédex entries mention it skillfully wielding steel beams to take down buildings rather than... well, construct them. For Pokémon that are supposed to help construct things, they're pretty destructive, although it could be argued that in this profession buildings are often taken down to make place for new ones.

Gurdurr as seen in the anime, briefly putting its I-beam girder aside. 

And then there's Conkeldurr, whose unamused look, troll face, dark-ringed eyes and gray goatee give it the look of an elder from some kind of fantasy game. It is holding two cracked concrete pillars that it uses to carry out a strong attack without the need to actually use physical strength, or as walking canes to support its massive upper body - and in my opinion, the veins up there kinda have the shape of a Macho Brace. It is thought that Conkeldurr taught humans how to make concrete more than 2,000 years ago, and rather than rely on force, it has mastered moves that utilize the centrifugal force of spinning concrete. While similar to Machamp when it comes to typing, gender ratio, base stat total, stat destribution (well... sort of) and evolution method (which is trading), Conkeldurr is actually so much more interesting than its Kanto counterpart, despite the fact that the latter literally has four arms. Not only does Conkeldurr's brutal humanoid appearance suggest inspiration from ogres from all kinds of mythology, folklore and fairy tales, it may also be based on a muscleman carny from a carnival sideshow due to its buff body and clown nose.

Conkeldurr breaking one of its concrete pillars as if it were a
toothpick. Not that it matters, as it is very proficient in making
concrete.

Even though Conkeldurr is reluctant to use physical strength, it does have it. Its base attack is its highest stat, at a whopping 140, followed by some pretty good base 105 HP and decent 95 and 65 defenses. While a base special defense stat of 65 isn't that high by normal standards, Conkeldurr is often used with an Assault Vest attached to it. This item raises Conkeldurr's special defense but limits it to using only offensive moves, which is exactly what this Pokémon should be doing in the first place. An Assault Vest makes Conkeldurr all-around defensive so that it can take a few hits on either side of the spectrum before it gets a chance to attack, because my God, this thing is slow. It also doesn't have a shortage of moves in its arsenal, either, having access to coverage moves like Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Earthquake, Poison Jab, Payback, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch and Knock Off. As for STAB attacks, Hammer Arm and Mach Punch are must-haves: the former lowers Conkeldurr's speed, but that doesn't matter because it's slow anyway (which reminds me to tell you to make sure that its nature is Adamant at all times), and the latter is a priority move with a base power of 40, often used to finish off worn-down opponents. Drain Punch is an awesome alternative to Hammer Arm, especially to keep Conkeldurr 'hydrated' throughout the battle, and goes exceptionally well with its hidden ability Iron First, which raises the power of punching moves - including Hammer Arm - by 20%.

However, the preferred ability for Conkeldurr is Guts, which raises its attack stat by 50% whenever it is affected by a non-volatile status condition (burn, poison and paralysis; sleep and freeze render it immobile). This makes Conkeldurr an unwanted target for moves like Will-O-Wisp, Thunder Wave and Toxic, but once a status condition like that is inflicted on it, it becomes a force to be reckoned with. You could even inflict the burn on Conkeldurr yourself and activate Guts by letting it hold a Flame Orb. Sheer Force isn't a bad ability either, as it removes secondary effects from moves like Rock Slide, Poison Jab and the elemental punches in exchange for 30% more power and works extremely well in combination with a Life Orb or a Choice Band. Guts is still the better ability, though.

According to this guy right here, Machamp and Conkeldurr are his "bruiser bros",
which is one of the best terms I have seen for Conkeldurr to date. 

Conkeldurr is essentially a better version of Machamp, even though the latter has a nice trick up its sleeve concerning the move Dynamic Punch and the ability No Guard. Overall, Conkeldurr is just slightly more defensive and displays a much higher versatility by having no fewer than three great possible abilities as well as an excellent move that keeps its HP in the green: Drain Punch, a fighting-type move that Machamp unortunately doesn't have access to at all - just like Mach Punch, for that matter. Conkeldurr is even more interesting design- and flavor-wise, deriving from ogres/trolls, carnival employees and construction workers, while Machamp only seems to be based on one of these WWE morons (I don't like any sport, but wrestling is extraordinarily stupid) judging by the briefs and belt it is wearing. Just note that I don't hate Machamp by any means - I mean, it has a solid 3.5-star rating on this blog - but I just think Conkeldurr is far superior.

Rating: 4.5/5

#531: Audino

Audino is a benevolent Pokémon, so it's not surprising these
Dedenne are feeling so at ease in its presence. 

Next on the list is the Pokémon that would replace Chansey as Nurse Joy's assistant in Pokémon Centers in Unova. Actually, ever since the Unova region Chansey has retired from being Nurse Joy's assistant altogether, as it's Wigglytuff aiding her in Kalos, while in Alola she's accompanied by Blissey and Comfey. It isn't suprising that a Pokémon like Audino was introduced in a generation that is often regarded as a reboot of the series, and as most older Pokémon didn't show up until the Adventures in Unova arc of the Pokémon anime (in the Black and White games, older Pokémon aren't available until post-game), Audino had to take over Chansey's role of assistant healer in Pokémon Centers. It's the perfect Pokémon for that, as the feelers on Audino's ears act like stethoscopes in that it can feel the beat of another Pokémon's heart in order to assess its mood and overall physical condition. Audino's auditory sense is so astounding, in fact, that it has the radar-like ability to understand its surroundings through slight sounds. Mega Audino even has a secondary pair of feelers with which it can put those who come in contact with them into a deep sleep, while it can release relaxing pulses that reduce hostility. Yup, you've read that correctly: Audino can Mega-evolve. It's the only Pokémon introduced in the fifth generation that is capable of Mega-evolving in the first place, and to this day I have absolutely no idea why. I don't think it needed a Mega evolution anyway, and you'll find my arguments for that in the paragraph about its competitive usage.

D'awww, look at this cutie!

Audino may be an excellent healer, but it fulfils no such role in the Gen. V games. You see, there's a phenomenon called rustling grass, and stepping into it may result in an encounter with a rare Pokémon. The only Pokémon in the rustling grass that isn't rare is Audino, appearing at least 80% of the time in pretty much all of Unova's tall grass. Because of its availability in rustling grass - which, by the way, can easily be triggered by walking back and forth nearby a patch of tall grass for a couple of seconds - as well as the absurdly high amount of experience points you can get from it, battling wild Audino is a fast way to level up your Pokémon when playing Black, White, Black 2 or White 2.

Audino is definitely a Pokémon that can be portrayed as
sickeningly kawaii, so I'll just tone it down for this blog and give
you this moderately cute piece of fan art of Audino with its
Trainer, Hilda.

It's weird that Audino is so easily available in the games, because Game Freak have always kept the Chansey line somewhat rare to obtain. Considering the abundance of Audino to be found all over the Unova region, you'd wonder what this thing is actually based on. Well, Bulbapedia suggests that it seems to be partially based on rabbits; and to be fair, those critters aren't very uncommon in real life, either. However, the similarities to rabbits are not very eminent in its design, and I think Game Freak went for a nurse/physician aesthetic more than anything. The stethoscope-like feelers on Audino's ears also bring to mind a butterfly's antennae - or proboscis - and the ears themselves kind of resemble butterfly wings, which may mean it is based on some depiction of a fairy. As regular Audino, a pure normal type, gains the fairy typing upon Mega-evolving, this theory isn't too farfetched. As for Audino's names across the world, they all contain a pun of some sort. Its Japanese name Tabunne
(タブンネ) is a direct play on tabun ne, meaning 'maybe', as well as tabun ('many are heard') and mimitabu ('earlobe'). In Korean, its name sounds quite similar to its Japanese one: Dabunie (다부니) is a corruption of dabunhi, meaning 'quite'. Audino is of course derived from 'audio', but Game Freak have managed to capture the meaning of the Japanese pun quite well with a pun on the phrase 'I dunno.' Its French name Nanméouïe contains ouïe ('hearing') and is phonetically similar to non mais oui ('no but yes'), but I don't think the latter is a phrase that is used very often in spoken word. By all means, correct me if I'm wrong by leaving a comment below. Finally, Audino's German name Ohrdoch is a pun on oh, doch, which means as much as 'oh, yes, actually', but is also heavily inspired by Ohr ('ear') and Doktor (I don't have to explain what that word means, do I?).

The only name I can't quite wrap my head around is Audino's Chinese name Chàbùduōwáwá (差不多娃娃). I mean, chàbùduō means 'almost' or 'more or less' and wáwá means 'doll', but does that mean that they think Audino is more or less a doll? Maybe Audino is a doll in the metaphorical sense of the word - it is often used in English as a synonym for a nice and kind person; a sweetheart, if you will - but I'm not so sure the word 'doll' has the same metaphorical meaning in the Chinese language as it does in English. I don't quite understand, and I have a feeling I'm not supposed to.

Mega Audino. It appears to be wearing some kind of coat and
boots, which indicates that it may have a resemblance to the
Sweet Lolita fashion style, especially color-wise (white and pink).

And then there's Audino's competitive abilities, which are... subpar. Regular Audino resides in Smogon's lowest tier, PU, because its base stat total of 445 renders it pretty much useless in any competitive battle. With base 103 HP and 86 defenses, Audino tries to be bulky, but it doesn't quite succeed in that. It can take a few hits, sure, and the Wish/Protect combo is as good a strategy as any to make Audino last a little longer on the battlefield, but it simply doesn't cut it. Its terrible offensive stats don't really help either, because they make Audino rely on Toxic for damage. No, you'll need the Audinite, the Mega Stone that allows Audino to Mega-evolve and become... well, not stronger. Bulkier, for sure. Mega Audino does get a slight boost in its special attack, which actually allows you to run a Calm Mind set with Dazzling Gleam, but don't expect to hit too hard, especially since you need a Calm or Bold nature to make Mega Audino as bulky as possible. Wish and Protect are still required, especially since you'll have to wait until the right time to Mega-evolve Audino anyway, because regular Audino has the ability Regenerator: every time a Pokémon with this ability is switched out, it regains a third of its maximum HP. Therefore, I'd recommend not going for Calm Mind at all, but slapping on either Toxic or Heal Bell; Dazzling Gleam is a STAB fairy-type move and hits moderately hard in the first place, so Toxic can provide some excellent residual damage, while Heal Bell lets Audino heal all of your Pokémon's status conditions in one turn. The downside to Mega Audino is that it doesn't get Regenerator as its ability and is, unfortunately, stuck with Healer, an ability that only works in Double Battles. And if there's one thing about Pokémon that I don't know jack shit about, it's competitive Double Battles, so... yeah.

Beautiful, painting-style art of Mega Audino.

Audino has access to a slew of coverage moves many a Pokémon would be jealous of: Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Psychic, Psyshock, Wild Charge, Surf, Signal Beam, the elemental punches, Drain Punch, Iron Tail, Knock Off, Throat Chop, Stomping Tantrum, Zen Headbutt... and I don't think that's all yet. These are all moves that Audino isn't going to use, especially not the physical ones; special coverage moves should only be given to Audino when you think it's absolutely necessary, while Knock Off should be given to a Pokémon that can make much better use of it.

Audino does have a lot of support moves to choose from. Rest and Sleep Talk could replace Wish and Protect, but they're more difficult to pull off and should only be used on a Pokémon that doesn't have access to Wish. Magic Coat bounces back status moves to the user, which can come in handy whenever you see a Taunt coming - or annoying status-inflicting moves like Toxic and entry hazards like Stealth Rock and Spikes, just to name a few. Snatch allows Audino to steal an opponent's beneficial status move, but that might not turn out too beneficial for Audino, even though it temporarily hinders the opponent. Encore locks the opponent into the move it last used, while Trick Room is a weird move that allows slower Pokémon to move first as long as the move is in effect. Skill Swap could be used to let Mega Audino swap abilities with the opponent, which means you'll be able to get rid of Healer, at least. Healing Wish makes Audino faint but fully heals the Pokémon that is switched in after it, status condition and all. Then there's moves like Thunder Wave and Yawn, but Toxic is generally better. Substitute isn't misplaced on a bulky Pokémon like Audino at all, and you could even give it Light Screen and Reflect and make your whole team a bit bulkier overall.

Mega Audino and its cute little babies. 

I like Audino, and a lot more than Chansey, too. The whole healer thing has been done before with Chansey and Blissey, but Audino's doctor aesthetics give it a little bit of much-needed personality and flavor. Of course, Audino - or even Mega Audino - has nothing on Blissey, who is far and away the best special wall in the entire game, even though Audino can take physical blows just as well as special ones, which Blissey can't. In the end, I am drawn more toward Audino's design and flavor than Chansey and Blissey's superior competitive utility.

Rating: 4.5/5

#529 - #530: Drilbur & Excadrill

Now, this is how you create a mole Pokémon!

Yes, I am aware of the fact that Diglett and Dugtrio are mostly based on those ridiculously stupid Whac-A-Mole arcade games from the 1980s, but that doesn't mean that their designs aren't lackluster: Diglett is nothing but a brown, phallically shaped Pokémon with merely a pair of eyes and a pink button nose for physical features, while Dugtrio is just three Diglett clumped together. Game Freak haven't made things better by giving these Pokémon Alola Formes, whose added 'hair' makes them look dumb rather than creative, even though Alolan Diglett and Alolan Dugtrio got the same typing as Excadrill, the latter of whom I will discuss today.

TCG art of Drilbur.

But first, let's start off with Drilbur. This mole Pokémon has a pointed nose, distinguishable claws and actual fucking feet, however small they might be compared to the rest of its body. Unlike Diglett, it actually looks like a goddamn mole, and I'd even dare say it's cute. Drilbur is able to straighten its body and align its claws forward, allowing it to rotate quickly and dig through soil like a drill at speeds of 30 miles per hour, which is why its arms are shaped like shovels and its claws like the teeth of burrs. Its English name Drilbur implies just that, and its Japanese name Mogurew (モグリュー) even contains the English word 'screw', a type of steel fastener usually driven into a wall with a drill (or screwdriver, for that matter). When Drilbur evolves into Excadrill at level 31, it gains the steel typing. This can only be attributed to the steel blades Excadrill has for claws, as well as the one blade on its head, giving it the appearance of wearing some kind of helmet. By straightening up and putting both claws against its 'helmet', basically hiding its face between its steel blades, Excadrill actually looks like a drill - one that is strong enough to bore through iron plates no matter the thickness. It digs tunnels up to 300 feet deep and usually builds its maze-like nests at that depth, an activity that can turn out to be detrimental to underground structures such as subway tunnels, although Excadrill's swift digging prowess might be beneficial in tunnel construction as well.

Excadrill.

But if Excadrill is strong enough to destroy even thick iron plates, surely it can hold its own in a competitive battle, right? The answer is, 'You bet.' With phenomenal base 135 attack and pretty good base 88 speed, Excadrill is a force to be reckoned with. Its speed isn't that great, but this can easily be fixed by breeding a Jolly nature onto it and/or letting it hold a Choice Scarf, only to click whatever move you feel like clicking: STAB Earthquake, STAB Iron Head, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Poison Jab, Brick Break, X-Scissor and Shadow Claw... Excadrill does have a few options to choose from. It can't take a hit very well due to its paper-thin defenses, but this problem is slightly compensated by its beefy base 110 HP stat and the slew of resistances granted to it by its steel typing. However, a Choice Scarf is not the only option for you to choose from. If any of your competitive Pokémon has the ability Sand Stream (Tyranitar, perhaps?), you could use it to set up a sandstorm to trigger one of Excadrill's abilities, Sand Rush, which doubles its speed stat as long as a sandstorm is brewing on the battlefield. This allows Excadrill to Swords Dance up and demolish everything in its way, provided you let Excadrill hold something like a Life Orb or an Air Balloon and find the right time for it to switch in. A Choice Scarf set on a sandstorm team is not a bad idea either, especially considering Excadrill's other ability - Sand Force - increases the power of all of its ground-, rock- and steel-type moves by 30% when a sandstorm is in effect. If you're not going for a sandstorm strategy, Mold Breaker is the recommended ability for Excadrill.

These are actually two Excadrill, believe it or not. The one on the left has actually
just withdrawn its face into its claws and 'helmet' in order to look like a drill. 

A Focus Sash set on Smogon suggests you give Excadrill the moves Stealth Rock, Rapid Spin and Toxic, but that is a waste of its strength, at least in my opinion. Rapid Spin is a solid option to remove entry hazards and could easily find its place on a Choice Scarf or Life Orb set, but there are much better Stealth Rock setters and Toxic stallers than Excadrill. It is simply not bulky enough for such a support role, and its massive physical attack should be used to its full potential.

Well, maybe not its full potential; for that, you'd have to give Excadrill an Adamant nature, which it really can't afford with speed like that, but you know what I'm getting at... don't you?

Excadrill drilling away at Dewott, but Dewott won't have none of it. So much for
the claim that Excadrill can even drill through iron plates. 

I absolutely love Excadrill. It is the perfect example of a Pokémon actually looking like the animal it is based on, while having some very cool additional characteristics that makes it stand out among other Pokémon. It definitely helps that it's a steel type, my favorite typing in the entire game, and that it looks like something you would not want to have an encounter with. Excadrill is nothing short of terrifying and I'd run away from it as fast as possible. The cherry on top is its excellent competitive utility, which is so good it can even be used in Smogon's legendary Uber tier - although it officially resides in OU. I've used Excadrill numerous times in my Black, White, Black 2 and White 2 playthroughs, just because it's a fantastic Pokémon that annihilates everything as it goes, especially with a Swords Dance up. The five stars I'm going to give Excadrill are more than deserved, all five of them.

P.S.: Listen, Game Freak... I know that in Greek mythology, the Minotaur - half bull, half man - dwelt at the center of an elaborate maze-like construction called the Labyrinth, but that is not a reason to include this in Excadrill's French name Minotaupe. It's just a suggestion, but perhaps you should save that for a Pokémon that is actually based on the Minotaur. Good idea, no?

Rating: 5/5

#527 - #528: Woobat & Swoobat

As you can see, Woobat is kind of an oddball, having only a
mouth and a nose, and no eyes whatsoever. Or would they be
hidden beneath those tufts of fur?

A new region and a new Pokédex also meant a new bat species for us to make fun of and be annoyed by, so instead of Zubat and Golbat we got Woobat and Swoobat.

Goddamn, even their names sound similar...

However, whereas Zubat and Golbat are malicious and annoying little shits looking to poison and/or confuse every Pokémon the player character decides to send out, Woobat and its evolution Swoobat seem to be all about the power of love. It's not difficult to see why 'woo' (a synonym for ' to court') and 'swoon' (to be overcome by admiration or adoration) are the key words to form their names, because they have such a strong connotation with this love thing these Pokémon are apparently all about. Like the fluffy Honduran white bat it is based on, Woobat has a piggish nose, but Game Freak gave a little twist to it by making its nostril heart-shaped - a literal interpretation of the heart-nosed bat, even though Woobat doesn't seem to resemble this species aesthetically. Woobat's nostril is used to produce ultrasonic waves for echolocation and also enables it to stick to cave walls when asleep, leaving a heart-shaped mark behind. If Woobat has been attached to a person's body, this mark is said to bring good fortune.

Swoobat and its kin chillin' at a graveyard, which isn't such a loving thing to do, in
my opinion. In fact, them smiling while hovering over people's graves is actually
pretty creepy. I guess they're not better than Zubat and Golbat after all. 

Swoobat, on the other hand, takes this whole courting thing - it is known as the 'Courting Pokémon' after all - a little bit too far. Not only its nostril is heart-shaped, the nose itself has the shape of a heart as well, and it can be used by courting male Swoobat to produce ultrasonic waves that can make people experience a positive mood shift. Its German name Fletiamo even contains the Italian phrase ti amo, meaning 'I love you'. In contrast, all Swoobat are able to emit multi-frequency sound waves that can become powerful enough to reduce rocks and even concrete to rubble. Swoobat's tail shakes vigorously when it produces these kinds of waves, so they're easy to see coming.

Another instance of a Trainer copying their Pokémon. This type
of art seems to be very popular around the web. 

You know what's also easy to see coming? Swoobat's strategy in competitive battles. Not that I'd recommend using it, because its best stat after its base 114 speed is its base 77 special attack, which is... very, very mediocre. Yikes. Fortunately, Swoobat isn't a complete letdown, as it has access to the amazing ability Simple - which doubles its stat changes - as well as the eloquent Calm Mind. This moves usually raises the special attack and special defense stats by one stage each every time it is used, but Simple allows Swoobat to raise these stats by two stages after every use. A moveset consisting of Calm Mind, Roost, Air Slash and Psychic isn't uncommon, and Psychic could even be replaced by Stored Power, a move that starts at a power of 20 and adds another 20 for every positive stat change on Swoobat. After just one Calm Mind, Stored Power has a power of 100, which is better than Psychic's base power of 90, although the latter is inarguably better when Swoobat doesn't have any stat changes on it. It literally comes down to preference, really, especially since one of Swoobat's STAB moves (preferably Air Slash) could easily be replaced by one of many neat coverage moves it has access to, including Shadow Ball, Giga Drain, Energy Ball, Heat Wave, Hidden Power, Signal Beam and even Shock Wave. As for natures, a Timid nature raises the speed stat and makes Swoobat a bit faster, while a Modest nature raises its special attack and makes it hit a little bit harder. You'd probably want the former, so that you don't get surprised by a certain Pokémon outspeeding your Swoobat. I do advise you to have Swoobat hold a Focus Sash in order to provent it from being OHKOed by any type of physical move, although Smogon strangely recommends a Salac Berry set, to make its speed stat increase in a pinch. To each their own, I guess.

GIF of Swoobat in the anime, emitting heart-shaped sound waves in order to
'woo' a Deerling.

At least it's a quick way to create a set-up sweeper, although you should ask yourself whether it's really worth it. Even after a Calm Mind, Swoobat doesn't hit awfully hard, and there are much better Pokémon that can make use of Calm Mind, even without this move being boosted by Simple. I like Swoobat well enough, though, and I'd even dare say it's cute to some extent, which can probably be attributed to it being inspired by fruit bats rather than the more daunting vampire bats Zubat and its evolutions seem to be based on. If only the Simple ability was available normally in-game, I'd definitely use it, but Simple is Swoobat's hidden ability and I absolutely refuse to run through the game with a Swoobat that has Klutz. It won't be affected by any of the opponent's positive stat changes if it has Unaware, which seems nice, but I really want my Pokémon to hit a little bit harder, and Simple provides just that. Alas, Swoobat has fallen into the realm of forgetfulness and it won't get out of there for the life of it.

But it's a fluffy bat; what more do you want?

Rating: 4/5