#366 - #368: Clamperl, Huntail & Gorebyss

See? Clamperl's head is not actually the pearl on Spoink's head;
it produces an entirely separate pearl when it's on the brink of
evolution. 

Clamperl is one of two Gen. III Pokémon that can be found exclusively in the underwater areas of Hoenn, which you can reach by using the Dive HM. This Pokémon is only really interesting because it can evolve into two different deep-sea fish, which bivalves seldomly (that is to say, never) do in real-life; however, it would have been exceptional for an invertebrate mollusk to change into fish if only it hadn't been for the fact that this is the Pokémon franchise, where a remora becomes an octopus and dragons and dinosaurs have pupal stages. Then there's Clamperl's head, which looks like a pearl but doesn't actually become a Spoink's prized possession. In Spoink and Grumpig's entry I already mentioned that Spoink adores its pearl and even gets weaker when it's not holding on to it, but I also mentioned that the pearl on top of its head doesn't seem to be Clamperl's own head: Clamperl produces only one magnificent pearl in its entire lifetime, which is when its body becomes too large for its nicked and scratched shell and the Pokémon is on the verge of evolving. The pearl is said to be infused with a mysterious energy, which simply means it amplifies psychic powers, especially Spoink's.

Huntail as seen in TCG. I'd swear the tip of its tail resembles a Gorebyss's head.

When traded holding a Deep Sea Tooth, Clamperl evolves into Huntail. This oblong, eel-like fish uses the white spot on the tip of its tail - which resembles a small fishie with a single dorsal and pectoral fin - to entice pray before snapping it up with its large jaw. This is very reminiscent to biological and behavioral features of the gulper eel or pelican eel, which is known for having a giant mouth larger than its body. The tip of its tail is equipped with a light-producing organ known as a photophore, which turns pink through the process of bioluminescence, and is believed to be used by the pelican eel to lure its prey with because its body isn't built for hunting - though, ironically, the Pokémon it is based on is called Huntail. Huntail's spine is thick and sturdy because it has to live in the deepest depths of the sea, but I guess all deep-sea fish (or Pokémon) have found a way to withstand the crushing pressure deep under the sea.

Even though Huntail looks frail, it is actually surprisingly defensive stat-wise, but only in its defense stat: its HP is garbage and its special defense isn't all that. Its base 52 speed also doesn't make it very fast, but Huntail has one trick up its sleeve to get around that, which is Shell Smash. Obviously, this move is learned by Clamperl, but as Pokémon can retain the moves it has learned as its pre-evolutions, Huntail also has access to it. Shell Smash raises its attack, special attack and speed by two stages each, while its defense and special defense are both lowered by one stage each, but Huntail can hold a White Herb to restore its defenses. As this Pokémon is mostly a physical attacker (104 base attack v. 94 base special attack), a physical moveset consisting of Crunch, Ice Fang and either Waterfall or Aqua Tail is recommended, as is an Adamant or Jolly nature and its hidden ability Water Veil. Burn prevention is a good thing for a physical attacker, trust me.

TCG art of Gorebyss.

When traded holding a Deep Sea Scale, on the other hand, Clamperl evolves into Gorebyss. Bulbapedia offers quite a few suggestions on Gorebyss's origins, but I found exactly one animal that is the spitting image of this Pokémon: the long-nosed chimaera - and I am not talking about that mythological lion/goat/snake hybrid creature. Like Gorebyss, the long-nosed chimaera - or rhinochimaeridae - is a deep-sea fish living in the abyssal depths below 3,000 feet. These creatures stem from normal chimaeras and, like its cousins, they are commonly called rat fish or ghost sharks, even though they are not technically sharks; they are merely distant relatives of sharks and rays, having branched off from them nearly 400 million years ago and having remained a distinct lineage that has been basically unchanged ever since. And as if the resemblance with Gorebyss wasn't enough already, long-nosed chimaeras take on a pinkish hue when fished out of the water.

Huntail and Gorebyss.

Flavor-wise, Gorebyss is far more savage than Huntail. It uses its long, pointed snout to stab prey and siphon their body fluids... which oddly reminds me of a certain Gen. I fossil Pokémon called Kabutops, if I'm not mistaken. Many of its Pokédex entries mention its elegance and beauty, but all I can think of when I see it is that it's kinda weird. Again, Gorebyss is described as being able to withstand the enormous pressure of water at incredible depths. Therefore, its body is unharmed by ordinary attacks, giving it a very defensive touch. Like Huntail, however, its HP is booty and its special defense is mediocre, making its defense yet again its best defensive stat. But whereas Huntail can be both physical and special, Gorebyss really is more focused on special attack rather than physical attack: its special attack is a nothing-to-sneeze-at base 114, while its base attack is a less viable 84. Moreover, Gorebyss doesn't learn any physical moves of significance, which means you'll have to fall back on its decent special movepool. A White Herb set with the move Shell Smash is evident here - Gorebyss, too, can obtain this move through its pre-evolution Clamperl - and the rest of its moveset is filled up by Hydro Pump, Psychic and Ice Beam, although it can also learn Shadow Ball, Scald, Surf and Signal Beam if you're desperately in need of these moves (probably not). Naturally, Gorebyss fares better with a Modest or Timid nature rather than an Adamant or Jolly one. It doesn't have access to Water Veil, and if I may be honest, neither of the two abilities it does have are overly viable. Swift Swim doubles its speed in rain and Hydration makes it get rid of a status condition in rain, so putting it on some kind of rain team is definitely an option. If you don't, either is fine; like Huntail, Gorebyss can need the extra speed, although getting rid of pesky status conditions like that may help your cause as well.

Jesus fuck, I wouldn't want to encounter this thing underwater. Goddamn. (This
piece of Huntail fan art is awesome, though.)

Clamperl and its evolution are an interesting bunch, to say the least. I hate the 'holding an item' kind of thing when trading off a Pokémon in order to evolve it, but I'm pretty sure I have both Huntail and Gorebyss in my possession now. Thing is, I will probably never use these things, whether it be in-game or competitively, because they're too much of a hassle to obtain and I'm not really a huge fan of these Pokémon in the first place. I can get behind Huntail's design; Gorebyss's, not so much.

Rating Huntail: 4/5

Rating Gorebyss: 2/5

#299, #476: Nosepass & Probopass

Oh, nose! Not these Pokémon...

I'm not really looking forward to this review, to be honest. Probopass used to be my least favorite Pokémon along with Lickilicky, but I realized Lickilicky really is dumber and uglier and just rubs me the wrong way every time I'm looking at it, while my reaction to Probopass nowadays is more like, "Nah, not for me, thank you very much." A couple of weeks ago I realized that even Pelipper is worse than Probopass. Good GOD, if Sun and Moon don't make you despise Pelipper, I don't know what does...

Excellently papercraft Nosepass. 

Anyway, like with Lickilicky's pre-evo Lickitung, I must say I've never had a problem with Probopass's pre-evolution, Nosepass. In fact, Nosepass used to be a stand-alone rock-type Pokémon until it got this hideous evolution exactly one generation later. Like Lickitung, it is kind of mediocre, but at least it has kind of a cooler flavor and design to it, being based on a compass as well as on one of those mo'ai statues you can find on Easter Island. Its nose - based on the magnetic ethmoid bone that is located between the nasal cavity and the brain and is known to give specific species of birds their sense of direction - is always pointed northwards and exudes a strong magnetism that becomes even stronger in colder seasons; it even prevents Nosepass to face or go near others of its kind, because their noses repel each other. Not that they'd come very far, though, because Nosepass were thought to be completely unmoving until close observation has revealed that they actually move a little over ⅜ of an inch every year. If I could move so little every year without becoming Lickilicky, that would be absolutely astounding, but alas... At any rate, Nosepass is perfectly capable of sensing danger, and it raises the magnetism in its nose to draw iron objects to its body to protect itself (the same technique is used to capture prey), hence why Probopass acquires the steel typing upon evolution.

Official Sugimori art of Probopass. Now look at it and tell me that
the mustache doesn't look dumb. And that pukao makes it look
like it has some big red button on its head. This is such a shitty
design, i.m.o.

Yeah, Probopass... It's still based on a mo'ai statue, this time on a bigger one wearing a pukao, and iron filings that make it look like it has a mustache can clearly be seen beneath its humongous nose. I have a problem with those iron filings, because it's the fraudulent mustache that made me hate Probopass on Lickilicky levels. Of course, the iron filings are only present in its design because they're attracted to Probopass's tremendously magnetic nose, but along with that dumb pukao they also make its design unappealing. Like, big-time. It's a shame, really, because the concept of a compass rose (Probopass's main nose still faces the North, but it also freely controls and attacks with three units called Mini-Noses, pointing to the East, South and West, respectively) isn't a bad one by any means; it's just too poorly executed. On top of that, the evolution method of leveling up certain Pokémon in a special electromagnetic field present in the games is especially irksome when said magnetic field is nowhere in sight until near the end of the game, like New Mauville in ORAS - or Vast Poni Canyon in Sun and Moon, for that matter, because it took ages to evolve my Charjabug into a goddamn Vikavolt.

Anyway, let's not digress too much here.

Here you can clearly see the three units Probopass controls. 

Fortunately, evolving Nosepass into Probopass pays off. While Probopass doesn't have much offensive presence, its special attack is good enough for in-game purposes, especially when you take into consideration that both of its defenses are magnificent - with base 145 defense and 150 special defense, you'll be sure your Probopass can live a few hits. Competitively, however, Probopass serves more as a defensive pivot: it can set up Stealth Rock, paralyze or poison foes with a respective Thunder Wave or Toxic, Taunt opposing Pokémon into using only damaging moves to prevent them from setting up, and damage-switch with Volt Switch in order for you to gain momentum. In combination with the Leftovers for it to hold and a Calm or Bold nature, Probopass will live long enough to irritate your opponent. As for its ability, Sturdy is by far the better option and prevents Probopass from being KO'ed by ground- and fighting-type moves, to which it has quadruple weaknesses. Alternatively, Magnet Pull only works with an offensive moveset, so that Probopass can trap steel types and knock them out with an Earth Power boosted by a Modest nature. The Choice Specs may help boost its offensive prowess even further, although without Sturdy it is better to give it an Air Balloon so that it won't get hit by ground-type moves - for as long as another move doesn't make the darn thing pop, that is. It's not like Probopass's offensive movepool is all that shabby, either: it has decent STAB moves in Power Gem and Flash Cannon and very good coverage in Thunderbolt, Earth Power and even Dazzling Gleam.

The only problem is that its base 75 special attack isn't anything to write home about, so if you can make its offensive moveset work, I'd be more than happy to bestow all honor and glory upon you!

But yeah, Probopass... I may not hate it as much as I used to, but I still don't like it. I'm very, very kind in giving it two stars.

Rating: 2/5

#360, #202: Wynaut & Wobbuffet

You know, I think I'm at a point I've had it with these baby Pokémon. Adding pointless pre-evolutions to already existing Pokémon doesn't make sense to me, and adding a pointless pre-evolution to a Pokémon that is pointless in the first place makes even less sense.

So that's where I should talk about Wynaut, right? Because, why not?

One big, happy family of mama and papa Wobbuffet and their three little Wynaut.
The lipstick on mama Wobbuffet is absolutely ridiculous, though. 

Well, to be honest, there is absolutely nothing interesting to say about Wynaut. It is merely Wobbuffet's pre-evolution and doesn't have any distinctive traits that sets it apart from its parent, so to speak, so I'm pretty much done talking about it. I mean, should I say Wynaut is almost always happy and throws a tantrum with its tail when angered? Or that it likes to eat sweet fruits? Great, so do I. NEXT!

Jessie's Wobbuffet in love, apparently.

It has to be said that herds of Wynaut like to squeeze up against each other to gain endurance, while at the same time they are trained to dole out powerful counterattacks. That is why this Pokémon learns Counter and Mirror Coat at level 15 and evolves into Wobbuffet immediately after. And Wobbuffet is supposedly where it's at. It's a docile Pokémon that never attacks first, but when it is attacked it will inflate its body and initiate a counterstrike - which sounds about right, by the way, as both Counter and Mirror Coat have negative priority in the games and always act after the opponent has attacked. When two Wobbuffet meet, they will attempt to outlast each other in a battle of endurance, but since neither of them is able to attack, they may compete to find out which can last longest without food. Wobbuffet is very secretive and overprotective regarding its pitch-black tail, so it likes to reside in dark caves. Also, it can't endure an attack on its tail, so when it's attacked it takes the foe with it by using Destiny Bond, one of the very few moves Wobbuffet can learn at all.

You know when fan art isn't abundant when you
have to feature an entire TCG card. 

And that's why it's not a good Pokémon, in-game as well as competitively. All it can do is wait out an attack with its massive base 190 HP stat and strike back with Counter (in case of an incoming physical attack) or Mirror Coat (in case of an incoming special attack). Its defenses are just mediocre enough - both defensive stats sit at base 58 - that it can take a hit with that massive HP and knock out the opposing Pokémon with its counterattack, but everybody knows what to expect from Wobbuffet, so they'll try to set up when it comes into play and wait until all Destiny Bonds have been used up. That's why it's not very viable in competitive play. At the same time it is very tricky to use in-game, because you never know if the opponent is going to use a physical or special move on you. Of course, you can predict it as accurately as possible, as some Pokémon tend to be special and others tend to be physical, but most AIs tend to use their Pokémon's level-up movepools and there are still special Pokémon with a largely physical movepool and vice versa. In other words, Wobbuffet is always a tricky Pokémon to use. Not good. It's really one of those Pokémon that makes me go, "What were Game Freak thinking? This can't turn out to be any good." And that's the truth, because its low popularity causes it to be not used at all by anyone. And its anime appearances don't really help its cause, either, because Jessie's Wobbuffet tends to break out of its Poké Ball at undesirable moments, much like Misty's Psyduck, and that is just plain irritating. I understand it's supposed to be a running gag, but you don't have to repeat the same unfunny thing all over again, especially when you've done the same with a certain Pokémon called Psyduck previously.

Yeah, would Jessie really love her Wobbuffet? It is often
a source of annoyance, as it lets itself out of its Poké Ball
without having been asked to.

As you can make out from the description above, Wobbuffet is literally a punching bag. That's where an interesting theory comes into play: the tail is actually Wobbuffet's body and the rest is just a cover-up created to take hits. It's an interesting theory, but there's actually not much to back that up; Wobbuffet itself acts so much like an actual living being - again, this could be a cover-up - that I don't think this theory can hold its own unless substantial evidence surfaces anytime soon, which I don't see happen at all. I can tell you what Wynaut and Wobbuffet are probably based on, however, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Both are based on a traditional Japanese doll with squinted eyes called the okiagari-kobōshi, which means 'getting-up little priest', and it stands back upright when it is pushed over. It is a symbol of perseverance. Pretty much the trait of a punching bag, which Wobbuffet is based on. Wynaut and Wobbuffet's Japanese names are Sohnano (ソーナノ) and Sonans (ソーナンス), respectively, and are a play on the respective phrases of sō na no and sō na-n-su. Together, they make for a potential perpetual conversation of, "Is that so?" followed by, "That's the way it is," and so on. Additionally, Wobbuffet is probably also based on the Japanese comedian Hayashiya Sanpei, who was famous for repeatedly touching his forehead while saying one of his trademark lines: Sō nansu, okusan! ("That's the way it is, ma'am!")

That Wobbuffet family again. Because, Wynaut?

While Wynaut and Wobbuffet's perpetual conversation probably makes a lot more sense in Japanese, other languages' names for these Pokémon do not feature this pun. The French names are Okéoké and Qulbutoké - Culbuto is the French trademarked name for Weebles - and feature a pun on 'okay', but don't make for a conversation between Wynaut and Wobbuffet. The German names of Isso - from Ist es so? ("Is that so?") - and Woingenau - from Wohin genau? ("Where to, exactly?") - don't make much sense when put together. And don't get me started on the Korean names. Maza (마자) and Mazayong (마자용) seem both be based on majayo, which is 'that's right', but it seems to fit Meowth better than Wynaut and Wobbuffet, I dare say.

Meh, I don't like Wobbuffet all that much. The mystery surrounding its tail isn't all that interesting, as opposed to the mystery surrounding Unown, and it's just a weird-looking Pokémon. And not in a good way. Sorry, I can't give it a passing grade at all.

Rating: 2/5

#191 - #192: Sunkern & Sunflora

There is so little Sunkern fan art to be found on the Internet that I
decided to use a cute GIF of it instead. Here you are. 

There isn't an awful lot to say about Sunkern and Sunflora. Sunkern is the weakest Pokémon in existence; with base stats of 30 across the board it reaches a base stat total of 180, the lowest of all existing Pokémon. It has the lowest HP of all grass-type Pokémon, and it is tied with Lotad for the lowest defense and with Bellsprout and Seedot for the lowest special defense of all grass types. In other words, it is an awful Pokémon. It is aware of its weakness, though, so all it does is feed itself with the dew that collects beneath leaves and be as still as possible so that it can conserve all the nutrients in its body as effectively as possible. Also, it likes to suddenly plummet from the sky in early mornings, just for the heck of it. And that's all there is to it. When this shooting sunflower seed evolves into an actual goddamn sunflower by use of a Sun Stone, it starts to converts sunlight into nutrition. Jeez, in real-life we have such a thing too, only it's called photosynthesis. Have you ever heard of that? I had never even heard of that. (!)

About the best piece of Sunflora art I could
find. This thing does not have many fans...

In all seriousness, though, they need plenty of sunlight and water and rush about in a hectic manner in pursuit of what they need. When the sun sets, they come to a complete stop and close their petals. This whole solar thing is what Sunflora is about, as it is also its niche in battles: its abilities Chlorophyll and Solar Power both center around sunlight and a few of the moves in its level-up movepool have a connection to the sun, too. It has to be said that almost every grass-type Pokémon can learn Sunny Day and Solar Beam, so it's not all that special. My advice is to not use this thing at all competitively (in a regular playtrough it would do just fine), but I guess it has its uses. When Sunkern evolves into Sunflora, its special attack skyrockets to a solid 105, so at least it packs a punch. Too bad its other stats are mediocre or just plain bad. It's speed is terrible and can only be increased by Chlorophyll, which doubles its speed in harsh sunlight. That's what Sunny Day is for, but as Sunflora is slow and not very defensive, you'll have to let another Pokémon set up the sun. It's more hassle than it's worth, honestly, but let's build from there. Its low speed allows Sunflora to sport a Modest nature and a couple of offensive moves, along with Synthesis. The latter heals Sunflora's HP by 75% when the sun is up, but its movepool is... not very versatile. Naturally, it learns a ton of good special-based grass-type moves, but the only move of another type it can learn is Earth Power. And Sludge Bomb, but that kind of takes away the purpose of all those grass/poison dual-type Pokémon. Or not, because they are generally better at this Chlorophyll thing than Sunflora is. There is Solar Power, which increases Sunflora's special attack in the sun in exchange for some HP, but as Sunflora isn't all that bulky, that's kinda risky, especially when you also let it hold a Life Orb.

You know, I don't hate Sunflora, but I think its design, flavor and competitive and in-game utility could've been executed much better. Right now, it's just there and it's doing nothing in particular, which makes it one of the most forgettable Pokémon ever. I... just can't give it a good rating, I'm sorry.

Rating: 2/5