#79 - #80, #199: Slowpoke, Slowbro & Slowking

Scene from the "Slowpoke Song" music video.

Another split evolution, but this one is the dopiest so far. If you say that Slowpoke looks like it is dumb, you are absolutely right: it has dim intellect, often forgets what it was doing and - perhaps this is the worst one - responds to external stimuli after a very long time. For example, it can take up to five seconds for it to process pain and it can even take a day before it realises it has been bitten. Dopey? Yup, that is why the official Pokémon classifies Slowpoke as such. Recently, the Pokémon Company International, Inc. announced that it was Slowpoke week or something, and as a result they released a special song called the "Slowpoke Song". Now, if that isn't dopey, I don't know what is. One scene in the music video, in which eight Slowpoke form a circle by biting each other's tails, might even turn out badly for these Slowpoke (obviously, in the music video they'll be just fine). See, their flavorful and pleasant-to-chew-on tails are used as lure for fishing and they often break off and then regenerate. The video games even indicate that Slowpoke tails are seen as a delicacy by humans: Team Rocket sell them for a clean million Pokédollars each. The anime shows that Slowpoke will evolve into Slowbro the moment a Shellder holds on to its tail, after which Slowbro will lose the capability to feel pain due to Shellder's poison.

Heheh. Yeah, this is not really Slowpoke's evolution method in
the games, but it makes for some very good jokes. 

So, the tails are important? Not really. They make for a nice characteristic of Slowpoke, but in the games they are only used to create a storyline plot for Team Rocket and Slowbro is to be obtained by leveling Slowpoke up to level 37. That is quite late, to be honest. It has decent HP and therefore it is capable of taking a hit just fine, but its terrible special attack stat and mediocre attack stat (and the lack of good physical moves for it) makes Slowpoke fall behind quickly if you are going through a regular playthrough. Fortunately, there is another evolution method, as it is also capable of evolving into Slowking, introduced one generation later, by having Slowpoke hold a King's Rock and trade it. Apparently, that is not how it goes in the anime: when Slowpoke gets bitten in the head by a Shellder, the Shellder's venom is released in its brain, causing a chemical reaction that unlocks superior intellect, intuition and inspiration, and extraordinary power. More venom is injected into Slowking every time it yawns, which also causes Slowking to become more intelligent. However, if the Shellder on its head comes off, Slowking will forget everything it has learned.

Shellder, Shellder, Shellder. So that thing is important, after all. In the games, Mantyke evolves into Mantine when it levels up with a Remoraid added to the party, so why couldn't Shellder become the key in Slowpoke evolving into either Slowbro or Slowking (or both)?

Oh, that's right... Mantyke was introduced in Gen. IV and Slowking in Gen. II. I guess it just wasn't possible in the time of Gold and Silver. Alright, I'll let it slide.

Official art of Slowbro (left) and Mega Slowbro (right).

Fortunately though, Slowbro and Slowking are competent battlers. Slowbro even got a Mega evolution. And an uncomfortable one at that, as Slowbro gets almost completely devoured by the Shellder on its tail. Mega Slowbro's energy has gathered in the Shellder, and as a result the hardness of its shell is boosted, making an armor so hard that nothing and or no one can scratch it. And that is noticable, because Slowbro gets a huge boost in its defense (and a small one in its special attack) upon Mega-evolving. Regular Slowbro was already used as a physically defensive tank and a support Pokémon rather than an offensive one. A moveset consisting of Scald (for doing damage; it also has a chance to burn the foe), Thunder Wave (to paralyze the opponent), Slack Off (to recover Slowbro; works great in conjunction with its hidden ability Regenerator, which lets it gain some HP back upon switching out) and Calm Mind (to boost its lower special defense some more and power up Scald) is therefore not uncommon. Now that it has a Mega, it is easily used as an all-offensive threat, preferably with three strong special moves and a status move like Calm Mind or Slack Off.

"I could use pants."

While Slowking's stat spread differs from Slowbro, it is often used as a physically defensive tank as well. Its naturally high special defense can be pumped up with Calm Mind and an Assault Vest, anyway. There is just one thing that actually distinguishes Slowking from Slowbro: Nasty Plot. Slowbro cannot learn this move, which increases Slowking's special attack by two stages. This makes Slowking a great special sweeper in so many ways: Quiest/Modest nature with Slack Off for recovery and Leftovers or Life Orb as a hold item, Bold nature with Slack Off and Leftovers, Modest/Quiet nature with Choice Specs as a hold item and the move Trick (to switch hold items with the opponent, which forces the specs onto the opponent's Pokémon and locks it in an undesirable move)... you name it. Slowking really makes for a versatile Pokémon. By the way, any of the above options should include its hidden ability Regenerator, because its regular abilities (Oblivious and Own Tempo) only prevent it from becoming infatuated. This status condition can be solved by simply switching Slowking out anyway, so don't bother with these abilities.

I really like these Pokémon, to be honest. The only thing that annoys me a little is Slowbro's Pokédex classification as the 'Hermit Crab Pokémon'. Trust me, I do get the reference to the Shellder it is carrying along with it, but Slowbro itself does NOT look like a crab in the slightest, not to mention hermit crabs carry a shell along with them as their home, which can't be said about Slowbro's Shellder. If anything, it looks like a combination of a giant amphibian and a hippopotamus (whose features are clearly seen in the joke image above). That doesn't keep me from giving the whole Slowpoke family an excellent score of four stars out of five, though!

Rating: 4/5

#74 - #76: Geodude, Graveler & Golem

Fan art of the Geodude line: Geodude (top left), Graveler (bottom
left) and Golem (right)

There is nothing more tedious than a Pokémon that explodes in your face when you're trying to catch it.

Yes, I am looking at you, Graveler.

Geodude and its evolutionary line are yet another species Pokémon that never failed to be in any regional Pokédex up until Gen. IV. Therefore, Geodude is a common Pokémon that is often found in caves and on mountains, which is its ideal habitat because it is literally a rock. With arms and hands, that is, but its looks provide it perfect camouflage. No wonder people and other Pokémon step or trip on you, Geodude. There's no need to be so pissed about that. Anyway, when it wakes up in the morning, it rolls downhill to look for food. Also preferring rolling over walking is Graveler, who literally eats rocks (preferably those that are covered in moss) all the time on its way to the peak of a mountain and rolls down when it is done being weird. It evolves into Golem by trading, so you won't find Golem in the wild. That is something to be happy about, because if that thing blows up in your Pokémon's face with its 120 base attack, your Pokémon is dead. And guess what? Golem likes to withdraw its head, arms and legs into its rock-hard shell (which may be based on the tectonic plates of the Earth, as Hindu, Chinese and Native American mythology state that turtles are believed to carry the world on their backs) and dangerously roll at high speeds, crashing into and running over anything in its path. Well, rolling over anything in its path, rather.

'Cause that's how they roll.

TCG art of Golem.

But the question is, 'How does it roll in the video games?' Well, an in-game Golem only needs Earthquake, either Rock Slide or Stone Edge, Heavy Slam, and Double-Edge (when its ability is Rock Head, which means Golem won't get recoil damage from this move) to wreck anything that comes its way. Just be cautious of grass- and water-type moves, as Golem has a quadruple weakness to both of them due to its rock/ground typing and its very mediocre special defense stat; most moves of these types tend to be special. If you're really scared of Golem getting destroyed by Surf or Giga Drain, it would be wise to go for one with the ability Sturdy, which prevents it from getting knocked out in one hit when its HP is full. Competitively, Golem is often used as a Stealth Rock setter, which does damage to any of the opponent's incoming Pokémon accordingly to their weaknesses and resistances. Explosion is actually a must-have last-resort move for Golem, as it does MASSIVE damage to anything that is somewhat frail, especially if Golem is holding a Choice Band. If you get the chance, you might even slap Rock Polish on it, which practically doubles its speed and makes it a decent late-game sweeper. That could work out very well if you invest some EVs in its speed stat as well, especially combined with a beneficial nature.

Golem's flavor may not look like much, as its design makes it already quite obvious that Golem likes to roll, but don't let that fool you: it is actually a powerful Pokémon, especially considering the fact that Golem got an attack boost in X and Y. Besides, its design is not that bad. It's just a shame Golem's name is so unimaginative; it is derived from the mythical creatures called golems. Exactly.

They see 'em rollin', they hatin'.

Rating: 4/5

#63 - #65: Abra, Kadabra & Alakazam

Official art of the little asshole that is called an Abra.

Argh, this sneaky little motherfucker...

Remember how in Zubat's entry I talked about how much of a nuisance they are to everybody, but that I myself have no problem with those things? Well, there's a Pokémon that does annoy me every fucking time it shows itself: Abra. That is not because they appear so frequently (there is no Pokémon that you will encounter as much as Zubat), but because the goddamn things ALWAYS FLEE WHENEVER I TRY TO CATCH ONE! Not surprising, because Abra is all about teleporting: when it senses danger, which it does by reading minds, it teleports itself to a safer place so quickly that it creates the illusion of having made copies of itself. And by hypnotizing itself, it is able to teleport or use any of its other extrasensory abilities at any time. Abra's telepathic powers tire it immensely though, which results in it sleeping 18 hours a day. Now, here's the thing: before Gen. IV it was next to impossible to catch an Abra, because it only had Teleport, which means you had to toss a Poké Ball at it while it was at full health. There wasn't even time to weaken it, because it would use Teleport to flee from the battle right away. And you never encountered a sleeping Abra; God, no, because that would have been way too easy! Thank God for the introduction of Quick Balls in Gen. IV; with those you can definitely catch an Abra on the first turn.

Kadabra (left) and Alakazam (right) engaged in an exciting game of psychic
chess, while Abra (middle) is watching amusedly.

Once you have it, however, it really pays off. Abra evolves into Kadabra, which even has stronger psychic powers than its pre-evolution: it creates alpha waves that induce headaches and it can cause clocks to run backwards, machines to malfunction, and delicate devices to stop functioning altogether. Kadabra's spoon is the source of its real power though, because Kadabra can double the amplitude of its alpha waves when it's holding its spoon, and can increase it even further by closing its eyes and, perhaps unintentionally, when it feels that it is in danger. In short, Kadabra is a powerful Pokémon with base 120 special attack and base 105 speed, which means that it doesn't need to evolve into Alakazam (but it's a nice bonus when it does). You might not be able to when you're playing all by yourself anyway, because Kadabra evolves by trading it to another game. Unlike Poliwhirl, however, Kadabra isn't required to hold an item while it is traded away.

Rare Candy Treatment had a point with this comic
strip, though...

Better make sure to obtain Alakazam, though, because it is better than Kadabra in any possible way. Well, it is absolutely not strong physically: it has weak muscles, which is why it uses all forms of psychic powers to move its body and hold up its head. That's right, its head is way too heavy for its neck to support, due to its continually growing brain. It is said to remember everything that it has experienced since hatching as an Abra and its IQ is believed to exceed 5,000. That is when it gets weird. I mean, think about it: if Alakazam is so intelligent, WHY HAS IT NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LEARN MORE THAN FOUR BATTLE MOVES IN THE NINETEEN YEARS IT EXISTS??? I am fully aware that it's part of the game mechanics, but come on... It is this kind of inconsistencies that really bugs me sometimes. Even though it is never explicitly mentioned that Alakazam can learn more than four battle moves, the fact that it remembers everything suggests that it cannot forget move it has learned, so having it forget a move for another really goes against what Alakazam is all about. Luckily, though, Game Freak blessed us with a Mega evolution for Alakazam, meaning that Alakazam can hit even harder and faster than it already did. And when I say 'hard', I mean HARD!

Official Sugimori art of Mega Alakazam.

Complete with the weird-ass beard and mustache and a red gem stuck on its forehead, Mega Alakazam looks like a wise elder. It gets three additional spoons on top of the two spoons it already had, which it now levitates in the air, right above its head. While regular Alakazam already has good special attack and speed, Mega Alakazam's base special attack and base speed are 175 and 150, respectively. I dare say that is pretty goddamn excellent, but its HP, attack and defense are still atrocious. Mega Alakazam did get a small boost in its defense, while its special defense is still very decent, but its low HP stat negates all that: it will not be able to eat up more than two hits. Then again, Mega Alakazam is supposed to be a wallbreaker (stop Pokémon who are trying to set up), revenge killer (avenge a fallen teammate) and sweeper. Aside from Psychic and/or Psyshock, the moves it can learn provide for excellent coverage as well, like Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Energy Ball, Dazzling Gleam and even Signal Beam. Substitute can be used to get initiative, while Encore is handy to shut down set-up Pokémon. Regular Alakazam has the ability Magic Guard, which negates additional damage from things such as entry hazards, held items, status ailments and weather conditions, which can come in handy before you Mega-evolve it into Mega Alakazam.

Uri Geller (depicted) was not amused that his name and image was used to create
the Pokémon Kadabra (Yungerer in Japanese) and sued Nintendo for it.

One fun fact before I move on to my conclusion: the Japanese names of Abra, Kadabra and Alakazam are based on real-life psychics and illusionists. Abra's Japanese name is Casey
(ケーシィ), after Edgar Cayce; Kadabra's Japanese name is Yungerer (ユンゲラー), which is a corruption of Uri Geller; and Alakazam is Foodin (フーディン) in Japanese, which can be spelled as Houdin and is most probably a reference to Jean Eugène Robert-Houdin and/or Harry Houdini. Uri Geller was not amused that a Pokémon was named after him, especially since it is holding a bent spoon (which is clearly a reference to Geller), and sued Nintendo in 2000 for the unauthorized appropriation of his identity. He was of the opinion that Nintendo turned him into an evil, occult Pokémon character, but the judge disagreed with him, resulting in Geller losing the lawsuit.

To sum it all up, Abra and its evolutions have been an interesting bunch since the very beginning of the Pokémon franchise. They started as real powerhouses in Gen. I, when the psyhic type was still broken as fuck, and have gone through some serious changes as a result of Game Freak's attempt to make the psychic type less superior to other types (which they did to dragons by introducing the fairy type in Gen. VI as well) by turning the type match-up chart upside down. Alakazam is still a force to be reckoned with, especially since the boost as a Mega, but I have to be honest and say that this Pokémon has lost a little of its appeal. I still like Alakazam, but I am not giving it a perfect rating by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#60 - #62, #186: Poliwag, Poliwhirl, Poliwrath & Politoed

The round form of Poliwag makes it somewhat cute and cuddly.

Tadpoles, my ass...

Alright then, I'll admit that Poliwag is a tadpole. And quite honestly, it is a creepy tadpole at that, because the spiral pattern on its belly is supposed to represent how the intestines of real-life tadpoles are sometimes seen through their transparent skins. Gross. I'm not particularly fond of slimy amphibian things in the first place, but that gets even worse when their intestines are clearly visible. One could call such a phenomenon fascinating, but I'm not buying it. What I'm also not buying is the whole Poliwhirl-being-a-tadpole thing. You know, when Poliwag evolves into Poliwhirl, the tail disappears and arms and hands (with what are supposedly gloves attached to it) are added, which really makes me think Poliwhirl isn't supposed to be a tadpole anymore, even though it is still a middle-stage Pokémon and the spiral pattern, still resembling intestines, remains. Admittedly, due to their round bodies and big eyes, both Poliwag and Poliwhirl have a somewhat adorable appearance, which might make one argue that both are tadpoles. But I refuse to believe that one of Poliwhirl's final evolutions, Poliwrath, is a tadpole. It's a grown-ass frog, goddammit!

The Gen. I Poliwag evolution line: Poliwag (middle, standing on
top of Poliwhirl's hand), Poliwhirl (left) and Poliwrath (right).

Poliwrath, which can be obtained by exposing Poliwhirl to a Water Stone, doesn't differ all that much from its pre-evolution, but there are several features that will make you go, 'THAT THING IS NOT A GODDAMN TADPOLE!' (Yes, it bothers me; can you tell?) The angry eyes that bulge from its head like a grown frog, for instance. Or its fierce stance. Its muscular body. The arms and the gloved hands. Its weight (119 pounds) and height (4'03"). Its typing. Indeed, on top of its primary water typing, Poliwrath gains the fighting type upon evolution. It even swims faster than the best human champion swimmers and is able to swim back and forth across the Pacific Ocean without much effort. I don't know much about frogs and tadpoles, but tadpoles can't fight and swim like Poliwrath can; that I know for sure. Then again, anything is possible in the Pokémon world, but even when I take that into account I still don't see a tadpole in Poliwrath. I'm sorry that I'm nagging on about this whole tadpole thing, but it bothers me so much that I had to put it out there. If anything, Poliwhirl and Poliwrath are based on glass frogs, a frog species whose organs are - you guessed it - clearly visible through its transparent skin. I still think that's nasty, though.

The entire Poli family: Poliwag (top right, on top of the square-shaped Poké Ball
box Poliwhirl is balancing on its fist), Poliwhirl (right), Poliwrath (back) and
Politoed (left). No, the crown is not naturally a part of Politoed, but a reference to
its status as a king among the Polis as well as its evolution method.

Enough about that; there is another evolution to discuss! That would be Politoed, who couldn't look any more different from Poliwhirl, but does have the most logical evolution if we maintain the whole tadpole-to-frog thing. While obtaining Poliwrath is easy, the method to obtain a Politoed (who is classified as the 'Frog Pokémon' by the Pokédex, thank the heavens above) is a lot more complicated. It requires the item King's Rock, which is not only harder to find in most games, but also doesn't just evolve Poliwhirl into Politoed. You'll have to have Poliwhirl hold the item and trade it to another game of the same generation. That only works if you have two 3DSs or a friend who is willing to trade with you. Poliwhirl may be the first Pokémon we come across that requires trading to evolve it, but it will definitely not be the last. It's an annoying evolution method for sure, especially if you're dependent on a friend who plays Pokémon as well, so the question is, 'Does it pay off?'

Old-ass official art of Politoed.

Why yes, it does. I mean... whether you like Politoed or not is a matter of taste, but it is undeniable a good Pokémon, especially when you have the right ability on it. Water Absorb, which makes Politoed absorb all water-type moves and regain some of its health, is better than Damp, which negates self-destructing moves like Self-Destruct and Explosion completely, but both are situational. Politoed's hidden ability Drizzle, which makes it rain in battle, is what you want for this Pokémon. The rain does not only boost water-type moves, it also decreases the power fire-type moves and extends the charge-up time for moves like Solar Beam. Due to its decent bulk and special attack, Politoed is often used as a support Pokémon in the competitive scene, with support moves like Encore (to lock the opponent in an undesirable move), Toxic or Hypnosis (to badly poison the foe or put it to sleep), Rest (for reliable recovery on Politoed itself) and even Perish Song (to prevent last-minute sweepers from setting up, as this move causes everyone present on the field to faint within three turns). Have it hold a Damp Rock and the rain will last for eight turns instead of five. For in-game purposes, you can go for an all-offensive Politoed. With its nice special attack stat, it can make use of moves like Scald, Surf, Ice Beam, Psychic, Focus Blast and even Mud Bomb (learned as a Poliwhirl), if you really want a ground-type move as coverage.

Official art of Poliwrath by Ken Sugimori.

Poliwrath, on the other hand, is a physical attacker. Prior to X and Y, it wasn't much of a physical attacker though, despite its muscular appearance. Thankfully, it has gotten a boost in its base attack stat, which is now 95. That is not bad to work with. This time, however, one of its regular abilities, Water Absorb, is the best ability to rock out with. Swift Swim, which doubles Poliwrath's speed when it's raining on the field, is a nice ability when you're running a rain team, but otherwise stick with Water Absorb and invest EVs in its HP and defenses to create some bulk. A Choice Band or Life Orb boosts its physical attacks such as Waterfall (STAB), Brick Break (STAB), Rock Slide, Earthquake, Poison Jab and Ice Punch. Focus Punch and Dynamic Punch look cool, but the former only works in combination with Substitute and the latter has terrible accuracy. Circle Throw, which forces the opponent to switch out, can come in handy though, especially if you want to prevent the opponent from setting up. Smogon also suggests a special attacker, but why would you do that if Poliwrath's physical attack and physical movepool is so much better?

It's just a shame that both Poliwrath and Politoed have had to give up some of their speed in exchange for a little extra bulk, which prevents them from really becoming sweepers. That's not a big deal in Politoed's case, because it looks a little bit like a support Pokémon, but Poliwrath looks like it should beat your opponents to hell and back. Believe it or not: despite the whole rant about Poliwrath not being a tadpole and everything, I really like this Pokémon. Politoed as well, even though I don't understand why it differs so much from the other Polis.

Rating Poliwrath: 4.5/5

Rating Politoed: 4/5

#41 - #42, #169: Zubat, Golbat & Crobat

Zubat is probably the most hated Pokémon. 

Next up to discuss is the most beloved Pokémon of all time... Zubat!

Wait a minute...

I think I got confused with another Pokémon; Zubat isn't loved by many at all, save for those people whose favorite Pokémon is actually Zubat and/or its evolution line. If anything, this Pokémon is probably the one Pokémon that is most hated on. This, of course, has everything to do with how frequently Zubat shows up while you're roaming the caves all over Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh. To be honest, Zubat and its evolution Golbat show up more often than you'd want 'em to, and in almost every goddamn cave at that, too. Yeah, I get why everyone is so upset about this eyeless freak bat (they gradually grew shut because they're constantly hiding from the sunlight in dark places), especially since Game Freak saw fit to let these bat Pokémon return to practically every cave in Hoenn and Sinnoh as well. I absolutely agree that's overkill, but personally I don't have a problem with Zubat and Golbat at all. And even though I do understand everyone's annoyance with this Pokémon, I don't understand those who whine about it. I mean, just slap a goddamn Repel on and get done with the area if Zubat annoys you so much.

Official art of Golbat by Ken Sugimori.

When you proceed through the games, though, you're more likely to run into Golbat instead of Zubat. You might think that would be just as annoying as running into Zubat, but at least Golbat isn't actually Zubat. One downside of encountering Golbat is that it is actually a vampire, because it feeds on blood from both Pokémon and humans to such extent that its blood type will change to that of its victim following a feed (300 cubic centimeters per bite!). It will then become too heavy to fly. What gluttonous little monsters they are, aren't they? Now, Zubat's description on Bulbapedia doesn't say anything about them being bloodsuckers as well (I suppose they are), but they can't be as bad as Golbat is described to be. On the other hand, in-game Golbat don't really suck your blood and they are, quite obviously, stronger than Zubat. They also have better moves. Therefore, it is battle-ready right off the bat.

Get it?

Yeah, lame. I know.

Anyway, that's not all regarding Golbat. Gold and Silver actually saw the introduction of Crobat, Golbat's evolution. While Golbat's attack stat is decent, it isn't very strong on its own. Prior to Gen. II, you didn't have a choice but to use one if you wanted to use it in the first place, but as of Gen. II, you'd do better to evolve it into Crobat immediately. Well, immediately... Golbat evolves when it has a high friendship level, and that friendship level is high enough after having run around like a madman for 30+ minutes.

Crobat by night. Well, it's a bat, what did you expect?

But the hard 'work' pays off! Crobat isn't much stronger than Golbat, but that little extra strength is very much appreciated, especially in the competitive scene. An in-game Crobat's moveset is sufficient enough with just attacking moves like Cross Poison, Acrobatics and X-Scissor, but in the competitive scene, people use completely different moves. See, Crobat resides in the UU tier (underused), which, despite the name, can be a popular tier to play in. To mess with opposing walls, Crobat has Taunt to prevent opponents from setting up, Defog to clear any entry hazards like Stealth Rock and Sticky Web, Roost for some reliable healing, U-Turn to freely switch in to another Pokémon while still doing damage, and the ability Infiltrate to bypass screens and substitutes. Crobat has decent bulk to pull all that off, too. An all-offensive Crobat isn't unheard of either, especially not in combination with maxed out attack and speed stats, the hold item Choice Band, and egg moves like Zen Headbutt and Brave Bird (or maybe TM move Acrobatics for massive damage without the recoil damage Brave Bird does; but that doesn't go well with a Choice Band).

If you don't watch out, Crobat is a force to be reckoned with. My own experiences with Crobat have been nothing but positive and I actually like this Pokémon enough to give it a 4-star rating, to which Zubat and Golbat don't even come close.

Rating: 4/5

#174, #39 - #40: Igglybuff, Jigglypuff & Wigglytuff

Official art of adorable, round Igglybuff.

Who remembers that annoying-as-fuck Jigglypuff that occasionally sang everybody to sleep in the first season of the anime series?

Yeah, that's what this article is about...

Seriously though, that Jigglypuff was incredibly annoying. And unreasonable too, for that matter, as it got mad and inflated when they fell asleep after its lullabies. The first time it got mad it stole a marker from Ash's backpack and started to doodle on their faces. Jigglypuff carried that marker along with it everywhere and never hesitated to use it when Ash and his company fell asleep once more. I never liked that Jigglybuff, though. It only interrupted the episode and it had no purpose in the anime whatsoever, so you can say that my 'experience' with this windbag (literally, because after mesmerizing its opponent with its eyes, Jigglypuff inflates its lungs to start singing a lullaby, endangering its own life by continuing to sing until its lungs run out of air if the opponent resists falling asleep) hasn't exactly been of a positive nature. It took a long time for me to actually start liking Jigglypuff. And then came Igglybuff...

Fan drawing of Jigglypuff (left) and Wigglytuff (right).

Like, was it really necessary to add another useless baby Pokémon? We've had Pichu and Cleffa now, who serve no purpose whatsoever (except maybe breeding the move Volt Tackle on Pichu in Pichu's case), and it's not even the last baby Pokémon to have been introduced in Gen. II. In fact, I am yet to review Tyrogue, Smoochum, Elekid and Magby, who have all been introduced in Gen. II as well. Gen. IV isn't much better, with a total of seven new pre-evolutions of Pokémon that already existed. Let it be clear, I don't hate baby Pokémon... I mean, they are cute and all, but what purpose do they serve other than being the result of introducing breeding (which, let's be honest, could have been introduced without adding weaker forms of already-existing Pokémon)? I don't want to rant about baby Pokémon and dedicate this whole article to it, but I had to put it out there. Again, this doesn't mean I hate Igglybuff; on the contrary, really, I just wonder why these Pokémon were added in the first place...

Cute.

Well, it can't be helped; Igglybuff is here, bouncing continually and uncontrollably once it starts with that, and with a sore throat of singing too much (if only the anime Jigglypuff had had this problem once in a while...). In the end, though, this article is largely based on one Pokémon: Jigglypuff's evolution Wigglytuff. Like Cleffa, Clefairy and Clefable, it is now a fairy type (just like Igglybuff and Jigglypuff), but rather than having been changed into pure fairy types, Wigglytuff and its pre-evolutions have had the fairy type added to their primary normal typing. Other than taking neutral damage from fighting-type moves rather than being weak to it, this type combination makes no sense. Game Freak might as well have changed them into pure fairy types, but whatever... The main thing is that Wigglytuff got a boost in its base special attack, making this stat halfway decent. Its defenses are still booty, but its massive HP stat makes Wigglytuff bulky, anyway. Combine its passable special attack with moves like Ice Beam, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Hyper Voice, Flamethrower, Thunderbolt, Focus Blast and even Grass Knot and you have a Wigglytuff with so much diversity that you don't even know where to start when filling a moveset.

All in all, Igglybuff and its evolution Jigglypuff don't particularly pique my interest, but Wigglytuff is cute and interesting enough to pull off a very decent rating. I mean, who wouldn't want a fluffy balloon? Indeed, Wigglytuff's pink fur is so soft that those who touch it (including its own species) will not want to stop, and its body is so soft and rubbery that it is able to inflate by inhaling, moving around by bouncing or floating while it is inflated. I want to see you find a fluffy bunny/balloon thing that can do that. And yes, eventually I did get over my annoyance with Jigglypuff, because I haven't watched the anime series in ages...

Rating: 4/5

#29 - #34: Nidoran♀, Nidorina, Nidoqueen, Nidoran♂, Nidorino & Nidoking

Love at first sight. In the games they aren't able to breed with
each other, though.

Poor little Nidoran♀...

It shouldn't come as a surprise that the female Nidoran has been the least favorite Nido since the beginning, especially considering the fact that Pokémon was initially a boys' thing (although it wasn't necessarily aimed at just boys) and Nidoking was obviously more savage-looking to them than Nidoqueen. However, it goes without saying that the entire Nido family have always been an interesting bunch. Up to now, these Pokémon have been the only species of which the different genders occupy different places in the Pokédex. Without a doubt, the female Nidoran is related to the male Nidoran, but have them be the exact same species and number rather than place them in different spots in the Pokédex (although both evolution lines appear next to each other) was difficult, if not impossible, for Game Freak and Nintendo to encode into the games at the time. I guess. I don't even know exactly, maybe that wasn't even their intention at all, as both Nidoran's evolutions have different names: Nidoran♀ evolves into Nidorina and eventually Nidoqueen, while Nidoran♂ evolves into Nidorino, who ultimately evolves into Nidoking. The same cannot be said about the likes of Unfezant, Meowstic and Pyroar, for example. Their appearances differ drastically based on their gender, but both males and females have the same name.

Official Ken Sugimori art of Nidorina (left) and Nidorino (right). Nidorina are shown
to deeply care for their young, while Nidorino are often violent and easily angered.

One peculiar thing about both Nidoran is that they cannot breed. At least not with each other. They both belong to the 'Monster' and 'Field' egg groups, which are both egg groups with Pokémon that are perfectly able to breed with each other, but both Nidoran are only able to breed with Ditto. It gets even odder, as both Nidoran can produce both Nidoran. Let me explain: if a female Nidoran breeds with Ditto, it is able to produce an egg with either a female or a male Nidoran. The same goes into effect when a male Nidoran breeds with Ditto. Nidorina, Nidorino, Nidoqueen and Nidoking are part of the 'Undiscovered' egg group and cannot even breed themselves. I can imagine the frustration if you're breeding with the goal of getting five or six perfect IVs on your male Nidoran and you're getting a female one... Well, the chance is 50/50 anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be that hard; breeding perfect IVs onto your Pokémon is a torture in the first place.

The Nido family: Nidoking and Nidoqueen (back), Nidorina and
Nidorino (bottom left), and both Nidoran (bottom right).

But eventually it'll be worth your while. Just use a Moon Stone on Nidorina or Nidorino if you want Nidoqueen or Nidoking, respectively, because they do not evolve by leveling them up. Both final evolutions are quite capable in battles, though, and Nidoking is even often used in the competitive scene. That is not without a reason, because it is a little bit stronger than Nidoqueen. Whereas Nidoking is slightly faster and more offensive than it is defensive, Nidoqueen is more of a bulky Pokémon rather than an overly strong one, even though its attack stat is more than decent. It doesn't help Nidoqueen's cause that it is hardly able to effectively use its special attack stat, as it is just mediocre (just like its speed stat, so a choice item Nidoqueen is a lot less effective than a choice item Nidoking, with the exception of maybe the Choice Band). Both Nidos have some interesting physical-based level-up moves and can be taught the very same TM and HM moves, except Aerial Ace (which, for some strange reason, only Nidoqueen can learn), so both can learn some great physical moves, even through breeding.

Awesome 'realistic' interpretation of Nidoking.

As Nidoking has very respectable special attack and speed stat, however, it is often used as a special attacker, not seldom in combination with a choice item such as a Choice Scarf and its hidden ability Sheer Force, which takes away added effects of moves (reducing the target's stats, boosting the user's stats or causing a status effect to the target, but not a higher chance of a critical hit) and adds some extra power. Let's take a look at the special-based moves it can take advantage of due to its ability, shall we? Ice Beam, Thunderbolt and Flamethrower, as well as their stronger counterparts Blizzard, Thunder and Fire Blast, are viable options. Earth Power and Sludge Wave (which is stronger in one-on-one battles, but hits multiple Pokémon in double and multi battles) are must-haves for Nidoking, as they're STAB moves and receive an added bonus due to Sheer Force. It also learns Shadow Ball, Focus Blast and Surf, just for good measure. Nidoking's physical attack is even higher, but its hidden ability doesn't allow many physical-based moves to gain a boost from it. The best are probably Poison Jab, Rock Slide and the elemental punches, although Nidoking's attack stat is already so high that it can safely use moves with no added effects such as Megahorn and Earthquake (especially since it's STAB due to Nidoking's secondary ground typing). Thrash is an option, but doesn't counter any other types, and Brick Break and Shadow Claw are a little too weak for Nidoking to make good use of them. Finally we have Head Smash as an egg move, but this isn't STAB, doesn't get the power bonus from Sheer Force and does half the damage Nidoking dealt to its opponent to itself.

Old-ass official art of Nidoran♀ (left) and Nidoran♂ (right). Nidoran♀'s poison is
so venomous that only a scratch from its horn or a drop of poison is deadly.
Nidoran♂ has the ability to detect sounds with ears that contain unique muscles
that allow it to be moved in any direction, flapping them when it hears enemies
approaching.

By the way, do you want more proof of Nidoking's superiority? Its tail causes metal towers to fall over and Nidoking uses it to smash, constrict or break a prey's bones or to create distance between it and its foes in battles before it charges, while its horn is so hard that it can pierce a diamond. Also, IT IS PURPLE!!! Just like Baragon, by the way, which is a purple dinosaur-like creature from old Japanese kaijū movies - a film genre that is all about monsters and strange beasts that fight each other or attack big cities; Godzilla, for example - with bunny-like ears and a big horn on its head and the ability to burrow through earth.

All in all, the entire Nido family are great additions to the Pokémon world, especially since they're the first Pokémon that show gender differences. In fact, they were basically the only ones that were assigned a gender in Red, Blue and Yellow, because the rest of the Pokémon didn't get a gender until the second generation, when the concept of breeding was introduced. As Nidoqueen and Nidoking are two entirely seperate Pokémon in both appearance and flavor, and considering the fact that these two Nidos aren't quite equally as interesting to me, I am going to rate them separately.

Rating Nidoqueen: 4/5

Rating Nidoking: 5/5

#172, #25 - #26: Pichu, Pikachu & Raichu

Unbelievably adorable Pichu fan art.

While in previous entries I didn't even know what the hell I had to write and tried to fill some 'gaps', I don't even know where to begin  right now.

Let's start with the fact that the headline of this entry starts with the number 172. That is, of course, the Gen. II Pokémon Pichu, the pre-evolution of first-generation Pokémon Pikachu and Raichu. It is not even skilled at using its electricity, even though it can zap adult humans while surprising itself at the same time. In that regard, Pichu is a danger to humanity and its own species alike, and I think it should be kept in an electricity-proof cage until it evolves into Pikachu. Then again, that probably wouldn't work as it evolves with high friendship, and I don't think locking it up is contributory to a good friendship in the first place. Anyway, Pichu is a baby Pokémon, and along with breeding, baby Pokémon were introduced in Gen. II and it wouldn't be until after Gen. IV that Game Freak would stop adding new baby forms of previously introduced Pokémon. Baby Pokémon are the product of breeding and can be obtained by having their evolutions breed with one of their species or with another Pokémon from the same egg group. That excludes baby Pokémon, because they cannot breed themselves and all automatically belong to the 'Undiscovered' egg group.

Technically, this feature makes Riolu and Togepi baby Pokémon as well, even though I would personally like to see them as basic Pokémon, as they were introduced alongside their evolutions in the same generation (the second and fourth, respectively). I want to believe baby Pokémon were introduced to appeal to girls as well, by adding more cuteness to the franchise. That definitely worked, because baby Pokémon are generally cute, pink and/or cuddly, with the notable exception of Tyrogue, and are useless most of the time. Pichu, however, gets one feature that actually makes it - or its evolutions Pikachu and Raichu, rather - quite useful, but I'll get to that later in this entry.

The Pichu evolution line: Pichu (front), Pikachu (middle) and
Raichu (back). 

Well, then it is time to move on to what is unquestionably the most well-known Pokémon in existence: Pikachu. This is not without a reason, though, because it has appeared as Ash's sidekick in the anime series since the very first episode. Well, it didn't actually start to act like Ash's sidekick until the episode after that, but let's not be nitpicky about that. We all know the story anyway: Ash gets to become a rookie Pokémon Trainer, but on the day he gets to pick his first Pokémon - Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, which he obtains a little later on in the series, anyway - he arrives late at Professor Oak's lab, and by that time there is only one Pokémon left: Pikachu. It doesn't listen to Ash at first, regularly zapping him with Thunder Shocks, but after Pikachu gets hurt by a horde of vicious Spearow, Ash snitches Misty's bicycle and rushes to a nearby Pokémon Center. From that moment on, Ash and Pikachu have been inseparable. During the course of the anime, Ash's Pikachu has shown a lot of personality: it has a love for ketchup, is sometimes seen in a bad mood, once refused to evolve into Raichu when Ash offered it a Thunder Stone, had temporarily lost its memories and sided with Team Rocket during the Hoenn saga, has been seen mediating and even breaking up fights among other Pokémon, and even acted as a guardian and big brother to Misty's weak Togepi. As a result of having been Ash's main Pokémon for, like, an eternity, it is probably the only Pokémon that has appeared in almost every episode and movie so far, if not actually every episode and movie.

There was a reason why Pikachu was on the logo of
the 10th anniversary of Pokémon.

Another reason why Pikachu is the most well-known Pokémon is that it has been the mascot of the Pokémon franchise since the franchise took off in 1996. On itself, Pikachu isn't such an overly strong Pokémon, but it really doesn't need to be. As the Pokémon mascot, it has to be recognized by every living being on this goddamn planet. I mean, not everyone can say that they know Sceptile, Luxray, Klinklang or Avalugg, but almost everyone has heard of Pikachu. Naturally, Ash's Pikachu has played a very big part in that, as it shows up in virtually every episode, getting Ash out of trouble time and time again. So it isn't without a reason that Pikachu shows up on banners and commercials announcing or representing official Pokémon events, such as the Pokémon National and World Championships - at which video game and TCG competitions are held annually, enabling candidates to win a scholarship of $10,000 or $25,000, respectively - and even the 10th anniversary of Pokémon. A series of events were held across the entire United States and even reached countries on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean (including the Netherlands, my native country), a special anime episode called "The Mastermind of Mirage Pokémon" was made for this special occasion, and the chicken-producing company Perdue Farms distributed promotional mini-discs in their packages of chicken breast nuggets. The promotion they carried out featured three different mini-discs, each containing one of three games, a Pokédex of only one of three generations depending on which disc you had, and a "Learn to Play" demo of TCG (Trading Card Game). And all this time, Pikachu was the 'face' of this whole promotional stunt.

Pikachu has been on a strict diet since 1996, in official art (left) as well as in the
video game sprites (right).

Pikachu is also notorious for the changes it has undergone since it appeared as a fat, yellow mouse thing in Red and Blue (Green in Japan). During the past twenty years, Pikachu has gradually been losing weight, drastically changing its appearance in both official Ken Sugimori art and the video games. In the image above you can see the 'evolution' of Pikachu throughout the years; it is noticeable that Pikachu has gotten slimmer. That's not the only change Pikachu could have had, though: in 2013, there was a discussion going on about whether Game Freak would dare add the fairy type to Pichu, Pikachu and Raichu, especially after Dedenne (an electric/fairy-type Pikachu clone resembling Raichu) was revealed. Thank God Game Freak didn't do that to our beloved mascot, because changing its typing would have been way too much of a change for such a well-known Pokémon.

In every generation a new Pikachu clone was introduced: Pichu
in Gen. II, Plusle and Minun in Gen. III (top left), Pachirisu in
Gen. IV (top right), Emolga in Gen. V (bottom right) and Dedenne
in Gen. VI (bottom left).

Furthermore, Pikachu's popularity has risen to such an extent that Game Freak found it necessary to produce a new Pikachu clone every generation. That's right, every generation contained a new electric-type rodent Pokémon with features that so strongly resemble Pikachu that it's just obvious they're 'clones' - or remakes, if you will. Although one could argue whether or not Pichu should be considered a Pikachu clone, as it is technically Pikachu's pre-evolution, many people do consider Pichu as such and thus it is the Pikachu clone of the second generation. We shouldn't be picky about that, it was introduced in the generation after Pikachu, after all. All of the generations after that saw the introduction of electric rodents as well. Gen. III even added two more mice to the list: Plusle and Minun, which are supposed to be opposites (plus and minus), but are obviously related. Gen. IV introduced the electric-type squirrel Pachirisu and Gen. V has the flying squirrel Emolga, which is the first dual-type Pikachu clone. The last one is Dedenne, introduced in Gen. VI, and has the fairy typing on top of its primary electric typing. Why that is? Beats me.

ORAS introduced the feature of Cosplay Pikachu. The different
forms clockwise: Pop Star, Ph.D., Libre, Rock Star, and Belle.

Anyway, enough with the clones and the mascot thing. How does Pikachu do in the video games? Well... not half bad, to be honest. It is uncommon (rare, even) to see a Pikachu in the competitive scene, but it can deliver a damn good job if you know how to use it. You should at least have it hold a Light Ball, which doubles its attack and special attack stats, effectively making its attack stat of 458 at level 100 higher than most other Pokémon. Its moves are also worthwhile. Pichu is the only baby Pokémon that can learn a special move when one of its parents is holding a Light Ball: Volt Tackle. With a base power of 120, it is an insanely strong physical-based electric-type move that hits HARD when used by Light Ball Pikachu (just mind the recoil damage). It also learns Brick Break and Iron Tail, and even some decent special-based moves if you want to go that way. Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire even introduced a nice new feature: a Cosplay Pikachu given to you by a non-player character. Depending on which form you dress it into, Cosplay Pikachu learns a special move, of which Rock Star and Belle learn the most useful ones (Meteor Mash and Icicle Crash, respectively; the others get Draining Kiss, Electric Terrain and Flying Press).

This piece of Pikachu fan art is too cute not to share with you guys. 

Pikachu has no durability, however, because its defenses suck and its base speed of 90 is, compared to that of other Pokémon, only mediocre. If only Pikachu could take a hit... Raichu, who can store more than 100,000 volts of electricity and discharges them into the ground via its tail before it can get agressive, is faster and far more capable of taking hits, especially when special-based. However, both of its attacking stats are only decent compared to Light Ball Pikachu. Also, Pikachu receives much more attention than Raichu, not in the least because it's the friggin' Pokémon mascot. It even got a couple of video games of its own, for heaven's sake. All three of them are lovable enough, however, and Pikachu is even one of my favorite Pokémon, for all of the reasons stated above.

Rating Pikachu: 5/5

Rating Raichu: 4/5

#21 - #22: Spearow & Fearow

Official art of Spearow.

Yeah, what is there to say about Spearow? Nothing much, to be honest, except that it's another of so many Pidgey clones. Well, it's not exactly a clone, but these normal- and flying-type bird Pokémon are nothing short of unimaginative, to say the least. That does not necessarily mean that they shouldn't be existing or that they're bad. On the contrary, there are some awesome 'common' normal/flying-type bird Pokémon. For example, Staraptor's shtick is the fighting-type move Close Combat and with its crazy attack stat it can pull it off quite well, while Talonflame's primary typing isn't even the normal type anymore, even though its most basic form - Fletchling - certainly is. Spearow and Fearow, on the other hand, aren't all that amazing. Their designs are pretty nice, nicely fitting in into their flavor (vicious prey birds), but that's pretty much it. There is absolutely nothing Fearow can do that other birds of later generations cannot. And most of the time, those other birds are better at it, too (with the notable exception of Unfezant, but I'll get to that one much, much later). Well, Fearow can fly for an entire day without landing due to its large wings and tremendous stamina, but I'm sure there are some real-life birds who can pull that off as well.

Fearow and Ho-Oh share quite a few features: the long necks, the thin faces, the
'mohawks', the talons, the bushy tails and their feather pattern are what they have
in common.

One thing that roams around the Internet is the suggestion that Fearow should somehow evolve into the legendary Pokémon Ho-Oh. I can't even blame the people who argue that it should, because Ho-Oh is basically a more extravagant and 'fabulous' form of Fearow, as they share quite a few features. Above image sums it up pretty well, even though it might be a little bit offensive towards the LGBTQ community. (I am gay as well, but this definitely made me chuckle, so...) By the way, I'm pretty sure most people, including me, will continue to see Ho-Oh as a stand-alone legendary Pokémon. That's what we're all used to, anyway.

Official Ken Sugimori art of Fearow.

But the big question is whether or not Fearow is capable for Pokémon battles, right? Yeah, so is it a good Pokémon? Well, it is... and at the same time it isn't. Fearow is moderately strong, as its attack is an acceptable 90, and with a base speed stat of 100 it is even faster than it is strong, but nobody in their right mind would use it in competitive battling. It is decent for in-game purposes, as it learns just enough moves to fill in a decent moveset: Drill Run, Drill Peck or Fly, and Return are must-haves. The weird thing is that it cannot learn the flying-type move Brave Bird in any way, so you'll be stuck with Drill Peck or the two-turn move Fly. Drill Run is nice ground-type coverage for electric types that comes its way, while Return hits hard for STAB (same type attack bonus) damage. The remaining spot could be filled in by either U-Turn or Steel Wing. The latter covers fairy types and, more importantly, ice and rock types as well, while U-Turn (which is a bug-type move) only covers grass, psychic and dark. Grass should be covered by Drill Peck, and Fearow is better off using Return against dark and psychic types, anyway. The thing with Fearow is that its defenses are complete and utter crap; it can live one hit, maybe two, but that's pretty much it.

I once used a Fearow in a playthrough and I was all but satisfied with it. I can't say I had good experiences with this Pokémon, but maybe I just had a Fearow with bad attack IVs (a Pokémon's invidual values that indicate how well a Pokémon's stats grow; my Fearow's attack stat didn't even surpass 100 at level 50). I would like to give it a bad rating because of that, but that wouldn't be entirely fair, because I don't dislike Fearow in any way. On the contrary, I actually like its design well enough to give it a 4-star rating.

Rating: 4/5