#234: Stantler

If you think that Stantler doesn't look like much, you're absolutely right. Many people forget this Pokémon is a thing, until they're reminded of its existence in some way. Even Smeargle, who is Stantler's successor in the Pokédex, enjoys far more fame for its gimmicky strategy, even though its base stat total is the lowest of all stand-alone Pokémon.

Well, fame... I think 'notoriety' is a better word for it, but you get my point, don't you?

Sawsbuck gets photobombed by Stantler. 

So, Stantler looks like Rudolph's ugly cousin. Although it shares some traits with reindeer indeed, it seems to be based off of several species of deer, especially when you look at its foreign names: the German name for Stantler - Damhirplex - obviously contains the word Damhirsch, which means 'fallow deer', while its Korean name Noraki (노라키) is a pun on noroo, meaning 'roe deer'. Bulbapedia even mentions that it appears to be based on sika deer as well as caribou. I won't even contradict them, because Stantler looks a little bland and it is hard to determine which species of deer was the inspiration for Stantler. The antlers make it even harder, because they don't look like any antlers seen on real-life deer, but at least Game Freak have shown a little creativity in that regard. Some deer - most notably stags - are being hunted for their antlers, and Stantler is no exception. But there is actually a reason for that: Stantler can distort reality and create illusions with its pleasant-smelling antlers by subtly changing the flow of air around itself. Staring into those illusions creates an odd sensation in humans, as if one is being sucked through them, and they can make someone dizzy enough that it is impossible for them to stand. The black spheres on fallen antlers can even be grounded into a powder that aids in curing insomnia. That's why Stantler's antlers are valuable artifacts to Pokémon poachers and the species was nearly driven to extinction.

Sawsbuck (left) vs Stantler (right). I have no doubt Sawsbuck will emerge victorious
from this fight. 

By the way, it's weird that the Japanese think Stantler is based on devices to frighten away animals that pose a threat to agriculture, also known collectively as shishi-odoshi. It's more likely that Stantler's Japanese name Odoshishi (オドシシ) - as well as its Mandarin Chinese name Jīngjiǎolù (驚角鹿), literally 'frightening-antler deer' - refers to Stantler's ability to scare intruders away by means of creating frightening illusions with its antlers, but it's still weird that these devices were the inspiration for Stantler's Japanese name. They don't work even remotely like Stantler does: while Stantler creates illusions and distorts reality, sōzu - a type of shishi-odoshi - are nothing more than bamboo rocker arms ticking on stones to break the quietness and frighten animals, most notably deer. It's as if Game Freak didn't quite grab the essence of the flavor they created for Stantler. But we're talking about Game Freak, what did you expect?

Yup, Xerneas and Sawsbuck are fabulous and still get more love
than poor Stantler does. 

What I didn't expect myself was... a good Pokémon. To be honest, Stantler is pretty goddamn decent. Its base 73 HP stat is just high enough to back up its mediocre defenses, while its base 95 attack and base 85 speed make it a moderately fast and strong physical attacker. Its physical movepool is wide enough in order for you to pick a couple of good moves, including Return, Zen Headbutt, Jump Kick, Earthquake (for some reason), Wild Charge, Megahorn and Iron Tail. The latter two moves are only obtainable through breeding and Move Tutors, respectively, so they can't be acquired in a regular playthrough. There is still a decent amount of moves to choose from, though, even special moves. And I mean, why the heck not? Its base special attack is 85, which isn't that much lower than its base 95 attack stat and isn't bad by any means. I'd still recommend Zen Headbutt over Psychic or Psyshock, but at least it also learns moves like Shadow Ball, Energy Ball and Signal Beam. It depends on the type coverage you need. It's still not all that helpful competitively, but I bet it'll be able to hold its own in a Nuzlocke or normal playthrough. Should you desire to use it in competitive play, an Intimidate mixed or physical attacker holding a Life Orb is a viable option to reduce physical attacks from opposing Pokémon and hit back relatively hard, while its hidden ability Sap Sipper is better for in-game purposes.

After all the shit I've thrown at Stantler, you'd think I dislike the thing. WRONG! Well, I didn't think much of it, but some Pokémon surprise you after having done your research. I actually quite like Stantler now. I thought it was good-for-nothing Pokédex filler, but I think I stand corrected and should revise my opinion. Competitively, it faces competition from bulkier and stronger normal types like Stoutland and Ursaring, respectively, but I'm actually thinking about using one in a future playthrough now.

How writing one single article can change one's mind, right?

Rating: 4/5

#458, #226: Mantyke & Mantine

As so many manta rays, Mantyke lives underwater.

Another baby Pokémon. Yay.

Fortunately, though, there is nothing special about Mantyke other than the fact that it only evolves into Mantine with a Remoraid in your party. As Mantine is always depicted with a Remoraid under its wing-like fins, this makes sense. In Remoraid and Octillery's entry I explained that attaching itself to a Mantine is an easy way for Remoraid to travel, while at the same time Mantine isn't bothered by the Remoraid on its wing in the slightest and just ignores it, so I guess these Pokémon are dependent on each other at times or at least willing to lend each other a hand (or a wing) when it's needed. This is a beautiful example of interdependent Pokémon relations, because we often see Pokémon as independent creatures that apparently don't need each other and Game Freak are doing little to nothing to change that image. At least when it comes to the core series games; I haven't watched the Pokémon anime in ages.

Official art of Mantine. While based on a manta ray, it looks like a
fighter plane with that Remoraid on its fin. 

But Mantyke is not where it's at. Mantine is where it's at; and to be honest with you, I think this Pokémon is kind of weird. First off, its secondary flying type leaves many people dazed and confused, but it's actually quite simple: like real-life manta rays, Mantine can fly up to 300 feet over the surface of the ocean when it builds up enough speed. Also, the Remoraid on its wing gives Mantine the look of a fighter aircraft, which further adds up to its flying type. Being water/flying instead of pure water, however, leaves it very vulnerable to electric-type attacks, as it has a quadruple weakness to them. It doesn't really matter, because Mantine is a bulky bitch. Its HP leaves a lot to be desired, but EV training solves that problem, and its natural special bulk allows you to invest some EVs in its defense instead. It's obvious Mantine is supposed to be a support Pokémon, but the thing is that it's not very good at it because it doesn't learn anything useful to go with its occupation. The best option is has is to poison its opponent with Toxic or burn it with Scald and then stall with Protect, or put up a Substitute against a specially offensive foe in order to get a free Toxic off. Of course, this set is best run on a defensive Mantine holding the Leftovers, although a specially offensive Mantine (Modest nature) with Choice Specs and moves like Hydro Pump, Scald, Signal Beam and Air Slash might get the job done as well.

Mantine above the surface of the ocean water, with Smeargle, Hoppip, Mantyke
and Wingull in the background.

When used right, Mantine can be a good Pokémon on any team. Too bad Mantyke and Mantine's flavour is a little bland, although the latter's design jacks up my rating a little. That means my eventual rating is going to be 4 stars, which is more than enough for Mantine; I think 3.5 stars is just a little bit too few, so then I'll just give it the benefit of the doubt.

Rating: 4/5

#220 - #221, #473: Swinub, Piloswine & Mamoswine

Swinub in a grassy plain, not their usual habitat by any means.

Swinub is one of those Pokémon that has gained significance due to its final evolution, Mamoswine, which was introduced two generations later than Swinub and Piloswine. Of course, Swinub itself is nothing special. With a base stat total of 250 it is the weakest ice-type Pokémon in existence, and it stays that way until it evolves into Piloswine at level 33 and finally becomes useful. While it is obviously a piglet - a wild boar piglet at that, considering the stripes on its back - it also has some traits of Peruvian guinea pigs, which have long, shaggy hair that even covers their little legs, as is the case with Swinub. Swinub likes a particular type of mushroom that grows under dead grass, and it searches for them by smell, often discovering hot springs buried under ice in the process. It reminds me of the pigs that were often used for locating and extracting a rare and very expensive type of mushroom delicacy called the truffle, although the use of these so-called truffle hogs has been prohibited since 1985. It seemed that the pigs had an extremely strong appetite for these truffles, which caused damage to the truffles' mycelium (the vegetative part of a fungus) during the excavation and dropped the production rate of the area for some years. These days, well-trained dogs are used to find the delicacy.

A Mamoswine - the big fella in the back - with its family, a
Piloswine (left) and two Swinub (right).

Swinub is like that, too: if it smells an enticing fragrance, it dashes toward it and won't stop until it finds the source. Piloswine is a bit more 'sophisticated', so to speak, as it uses its sensitive nose and ears to check its surroundings instead. It does that because its eyes are usually covered up by tufts of fur and is unable to see properly. Its tusks look insignificant, but they are made of ice, thicken when it snows and have occasionally been proved to be lethal. While Piloswine doesn't have visible hooves, not even when its legs can be seen in full glory, its Pokédex entries talk of hooves that ensure even footing on icy ground, which indicates that Piloswine may be based on a yak. But that idea is thrown out of the window when it evolves into Mamoswine by leveling it up while it knows Ancient Power. Mamoswine, as its name suggests, is based on a mammoth or mastodon - both belong to different genera; they are classified as mammuthus and mammut, respectively. In any case, both are proboscideans that are distant ancestors of the elephant. Mamoswine, however, has a pig's snout instead of a proboscis (also called a 'trunk'), although such hybrid Pokémon are not uncommon. It's interesting to know that even in the Pokémon world there were ice ages, and Mamoswine allegedly disappeared after the last one, until one was dug up from soil/ice (Platinum and HeartGold seem to disagree on which one it is) dating back 10,000 years. To much amazement, it woke up, having survived harsh cold and severe hunger for so many years. It's a bit illogical to say Mamoswine's population thinned 10,000 years in the past while Swinub and Piloswine kept 'existing', but whatever. This is Game Freak we're talking about after all, so what else should I have expected?

Dawn's party, including a Mamoswine. 

Well, what you can expect is a competitive monster. Mamoswine has some beefy HP and a mammoth attack stat - sorry, I had to - with which it can endure quite some hits and hit back as hard as it possibly can. A Life Orb set is obvious here, with a Jolly nature for some more speed, which it needs, or an Adamant nature to boost its attack even further. Its hidden ability Thick Fat is the best option here, as it halves damage from incoming ice- and fire-type moves, the latter of which Mamoswine usually has a weakness to. Because it's quite bulky, it can set up Stealth Rock and proceed annihilating things with moves like Icicle Crash, Earthquake, Superpower, Iron Head, Knock Off, Stone Edge and Rock Slide, while Ice Shard is a rather weak move that does have increased priority. It depends on what you need. Unfortunately, it has no means of boosting its attack apart from a Choice Band, but that item limits it to using one move only.

A Mamoswine set is kind of straightforward, as you - and your opponent, for that matter - know exactly what's gonna come. Evolving Piloswine is tedious, as you have to wait until you get to a Move Relearner in order for them to teach your Piloswine Ancient Power, but at least the result is satisfying. Design-wise I'm not Mamoswine's biggest fan, but at least Game Freak's attempt to create a worthy evolution for Piloswine has paid off. I'll give it a 4-star rating, but only just.

Rating: 4/5

#218 - #219: Slugma & Magcargo

I think Slugma's old official art (right) is much better than its
current official art (left). The latter's snout shape is just so weird
compared to the other. 

Talk about insignificant. Slugma and Magcargo have never been such popular Pokémon and I can understand why, even though I quite like them personally. That is to blame on a mix of terrible competitive utility, horrendous flavor inconsistency, and its overall easy-to-forget design. While they're not exactly the same, Numel and Camerupt can do what Slugma and Magcargo can, only much better. Camerupt even has a Mega to boot. But surely there are some positive aspects to be found of Slugma and Magcargo, right? Slugma, a little magma slug, has a circulatory system composed entirely of intensely hot magma, which delivers vital nutrients and oxygen to its organs. However, it never sleeps nor ever stops moving in order to prevent its body from cooling or hardening, because if it does it will become brittle and start to break apart. Slugma's shiny form is gray and may be based on cooled, hardened magma, which is usually a metallic gray color.

Magcargo.

But whereas Slugma's body may be intensely hot, Magcargo's body temperature is ridiculously high. I'd say even impossibly high, because at 18,000°F its body is even hotter than the surface of the sun (9,940°F). It would be impossible to approach Magcargo in the first place, let alone touch it. And according to its Pokédex entries, its magma body causes water to evaporate on contact, yet in the games it is still 4x weak to water due to its additional rock type. That's due to the rocky shell, which is just skin that has hardened and is brittle enough to be crumbled apart by touching it slightly, but Magcargo - the 'cargo' part being derived from 'cargo' and escargot, the French word for 'snail' - can reform its body by dipping itself in magma. That reminds me of Magmar, who dips its body in lava in order to instantly recover from its injuries, but reforming your body is still an entirely different thing than healing it. While Slugma and Magcargo are believed to be based on the Chilean myth of the Cherufe, mythical evil creatures of rock and magma that are found in the mythology of the indigenous Mapuche people in south-central Chile and southwestern Argentina and inhabit the magma pools of Chilean volcanoes, nothing actually indicates that those monsters take on the form of snails or slugs.

A more 'realistic' approach to Macargo: a magma snail with a
shell on its back. Snails don't usually let fire escape from their
shells, but whatever. 

In legends, Cherufe are the source of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions; and while Magcargo can learn Earthquake, it's not evidence of it being based on the Cherufe, because many other Pokémon can learn Earthquake as well. Magcargo doesn't even learn Eruption, but it doesn't need it. This move does more damage the more HP Magcargo has, but Magcargo is slow in the first place and it will always take a hit first, instantly reducing its HP and weakening Eruption. Handier is Shell Smash, which sharply raises Magcargo's attack, special attack and speed but lowers each defense stat by one stage. It's an appropriate move for it (however, despite the brittle shell its defense is still a solid base 120) and if you manage to pull it off, you're good to go. Unfortunately, Magcargo doesn't have many coverage moves: Earth Power isn't even STAB, the only special-based rock-type move it gets is Ancient Power, and the only good moves it has aside from Earth Power are its fire-type moves. Lava Plume, Flamethrower and Heat Wave are pretty reliable, while Fire Blast is stronger but less accurate. As for items and abilities, Magcargo isn't very viable competitively, and it is outclassed by so many other fire-type Pokémon in the tier (PU; partly used) that it's not even funny. Don't even think about using Magcargo as a defensive support Pokémon, because its low HP won't back up its great defense stat, and common water- and ground-types will completely annihilate it. And let's not start about its mediocre special defense. It can still be a decent in-game Pokémon with any desirable item attached to it, if you have the patience to wait for Slugma to evolve into Magcargo at level 38.

Magcargo is not as good as it should have been, but at least Game Freak went with an interesting concept, flavor inconsistency aside (a body hotter than the sun's surface, really?). Plus, I quite like its design, and it makes me think that it's just a shame that Magcargo isn't a better Pokémon overall. I don't think I'm ever gonna use it, but I don't hate it. Like, at all.

Rating: 4/5

#215, #461: Sneasel & Weavile

Sneasel fan art.

Sneasel was supposed to be one of those Pokémon you should start using in Pokémon Gold and Silver, with very decent attack and excellent speed, but dark and ice (Sneasel's types) were still special in Gen. II and III and Sneasel has an abysmal special attack stat, which kept it from being useful at all. It was mainly a Pokédex filler, until Gen. IV came around and the physical/special split occurred. And to crown it all, Sneasel actually got an evolution: Weavile. And it's not even a considerably good one flavor-wise. Sneasel, a sneaky little motherfucker based on weasels and possibly cats, is notoriously vicious and is known for stealing eggs from unattended Pidgey nests (probably also from nests of other bird Pokémon) in pairs: while one Sneasel drives the parents from their nest, the other steals the eggs. They then feast on them. It's common knowledge that weasels - especially stoats - occasionally steal eggs from bird nests and eat them, so I'm not surprised. Weavile is even less interesting in that regard: they are more devious than Sneasel (no shit), hunt in packs and leave mysterious markings on trees or ice in order to signal companions. However, there is one thing that's interesting about Sneasel en Weavile: both are obviously based on weasels, but in Japanese mythology there is actually a weasel demon with sickles on its front legs called the kamaitachi. It uses the sickles to cut people, but even though that causes a sharp wound, there is no pain. In many regions of the country it's often associated with ice and snow, which is a nod to Sneasel and Weavile's ice typing.

Weavile about to throw a Shadow Ball, from the looks of it. Not that it's going to
inflict a lot of damage, because Weavile's special attack is as dreadful as Sneasel's.

They may also be based on the Western and Japanese superstition when it comes to black cats and weasels, respectively, both notorious for being sneaky and associated with evil and misfortune. Although the superstition about black cats derives from Western, medieval witchcraft, Sneasel and Weavile don't really look like black cats and they sure as hell don't have magical powers (well, Pokémon are magical creatures an sich, but you probably know what the fuck I'm talking about). Weavile's appearance, however, seems to be based on old Egyptian fashion: it wears a headdress, a collar, earrings and 'eyeshadow' similar to Egyptian deities, especially Bastet or Sekhmet, who are often depicted with a cat's head - the former is even considered the god of cats. In addition, both were famous for using their claws in warfare.

TCG art of Weavile.

And Weavile uses its claws in warfare, alright. It's fast and strong, but it's also very fragile due to its mediocre HP and defenses. In other words, your opponent knows exactly what to expect from this thing: a fast-as-hell (because Jolly) wallbreaker or revenge killer with a somewhat predictable moveset: Fake Out, Knock Off, Icicle Crash and Ice Shard, often backed up by a Life Orb to strengthen all of its attacking moves. However, since Weavile is so frail, it could also hang onto a Focus Sash, which leaves it at 1 HP when attacked at full health. Also, that moveset I just mentioned isn't exactly the most reliable one. To start with, Fake Out has only 50 base power and isn't even powered up by STAB, so it could easily be omitted, even though it's a decent way to cause damage and make the foe flinch upon the switch-in of Weavile. Because there are many heavy Pokémon in the OU tier Weavile resides in, Low Kick is an option, as it does more damage to heavier foes like Heatran, Tyranitar and Ferrothorn. Poison Jab and Iron Tail work on fairy types, which Weavile is weak to, and Ice Punch could replace Icicle Crash because its accuracy is higher - although many people prefer the higher base power of Icicle Crash. And while Ice Shard is perfect to finish opponents because it has increased priority, it's a rather weak move that should be reserved for a dark-type move that can be used once Knock Off becomes redundant, like Night Slash (which has a higher chance for a critical hit, too).

I hate Sneasel and Weavile's flavor, because Game Freak are once more stating the obvious when it is clearly present in their designs: one look at these Pokémon and you'll know they're up to no fucking good. It's a shame, because Weavile's design is really cool and its typing makes it a great offensive threat in the competitive metagame. Game Freak could have done a better job with this Pokémon, but I quite like it and it doesn't deserve a bad rating by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#203: Girafarig

Official art of Girafarig, drawn by Ken Sugimori (who else?).

So, this is... an interesting Pokémon, to say the least.

So, Girafarig is based on a giraffokeryx, an extinct ancestor of the giraffe (and maybe the okapi), although its spots really give it the appearance of a modern-day giraffe. As you can see, Girafarig has a tail with eyes and a mouth, and that's because that tail actually has a fucking brain of its own. That's right, this head is capable of independent thinking, but it has to rely on outside stimuli such as smell and sound to guide its actions. If you come too near, it will smell you and try to bite you. The tail wasn't supposed to be a tail at first: Game Freak intended for Girafarig to have a second, fully grown head at the other end of its body. Do you remember the pushmi-pullyu from Doctor Dolittle? Or the cartoon series CatDog? Well, Girafarig was originally supposed to look a little like them, but that was changed at the last minute. To go with the whole palindrome shenanigans after all (Girafarig's name is spelled the same when you read it backwards), Game Freak gave it a tail that can think for its own. That trait might come from the stegosaurus, which are believed by some paleontologists to have possessed a second brain in their tails in order to improve their reflexes against predators. That can be seen in Garafarig as well: when its main head is sleeping, the tail stays awake and can warn the head of danger. Not uninteresting, and also pretty weird, but I would have loved to see a pushmi-pullyu kind of Pokémon. That would have been pretty awesome.

And no, that animal does not really exist; of course it doesn't, it is an imaginary animal Hugh Lofting created for his Doctor Dolittle book series. Yes, it all started with a book series. I didn't know that either, guys; I discovered that, like, fifteen minutes ago.

Fan art of what Girafarig was originally supposed to look like.
Pretty neat. 

Although I don't get what Girafarig's Japanese and Chinese names are supposed to mean. I mean, it's easy to determine kirin and nenriki are Japanese for giraffe and telekinesis (or psychokinesis, if you want to be strict about it), respectively, but there is absolutely nothing about Girafarig's flavor that proves it is able to influence objects with its mind. I mean, it can learn the move Telekinesis, but so can other Pokémon that usually don't have telekinetic abilities at all. It's strange. Furthermore, Girafarig's Mandarin Chinese name is Qílínqí (麒麟奇) and is composed of qílín and qí (obvious name is obvious), but this qílín creature Girafarig is supposed to be based on is neither obviously present in its design nor its flavor. This mythical beast, which looks a little like a chimaera, is said to appear with the imminent arrival or passing of a sage or an illustrious ruler. Criminals fear this creature because it is said to detect guilt, and after sensing it the qílín would stare at the guilty party and pierce their hearts. Although it is almost always depicted as having hooves, these are hooves of an ox, while traits of dragons, fish and lions are also present in its appearance. Just not giraffes. And Girafarig doesn't have any of the characteristics that define a qílín either, so here's another mystery. To me, at least.

Pretty nifty papercraft Girafarig. 

What's not a mystery to me, however, is Girafarig's utility in the competitive scene. It is a pretty well-rounded Pokémon, but its well-rounded stats are somewhat mediocre. Its special attack and speed are passable and so is its attack, but it doesn't need the latter and its defenses are nothing to write home about. Especially when you consider Girafarig doesn't have a massive HP stat, its base 65 defenses are complete and utter ass. It might be able to take two hits, but otherwise it is pretty easily knocked out and thus it should be used as a hit-and-run Pokémon. And with just passable special attack and speed stats, it isn't particularly good at that, either. Luckily, it has access to Calm Mind, which raises its special attack and special defense by one stage. If you manage to pull some off, you can have a specially bulky Pokémon that can hit incredibly hard after that, especially with a Modest nature and a Life Orb as its held item (although it wears Girafarig down quicker than you'd want). The rest of its moveset should consist of Psychic, Dazzling Gleam and either Energy Ball or Thunderbolt. It also learns Hyper Voice for some STAB damage (Girafarig is a normal/psychic type, strangely) and Shadow Ball for some more coverage, but Psychic is usually enough. From ORAS on, it has had access to Nasty Plot as well, if you really want to go with the hit-and-run tactic, and if by any happenstance you encounter an Adamant Girafarig or in-game use: it learns Zen Headbutt, Crunch, Earthquake, Return and Iron Tail.

Wanna suprise your opponents, by the way? Put a Choice Band on a physical-based Girafarig - with the first four physical moves I mentioned, that is - and fire away. It is more of a gimmick though, and not really recommended, but you might have some serious fun with it.

This is some incredible 'realistic' art of Girafarig. Not bad at all!

Girafarig's design is quite interesting, and I appreciate the originality Game Freak put in it, but I think its flavor could have been a little bit more. Of what I don't know, but at least more of something. Hey Game Freak, give it telekinetic traits, or characteristics that fit this whole qílín thing, why don't you? Heh. On a more serious note, though, Girafarig is a decent Pokémon all around and I actually really like it. I've never used it in a playthrough, but I'm not opposed to the idea whatsoever, and I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. Meanwhile, I will have to do with giving Girafarig a well-deserved 4-star rating.

Rating: 4/5

#193, #469: Yanma & Yanmega

I guess the days that Yanma was the rare card in a TCG pack are
long gone. 

Okay, so this is one of those Pokémon whose typing American people are fussing about. Yanmega is clearly based on the dragonfly, so surely it should be a dragon type as well, right? Well, no. It makes perfect sense for Yanmega being a bug/flying type, as it is hardly based on dragons. English is one of only a few languages that adopts the word 'dragon' in the name of the dragonfly, the other one I could find being the Icelandic drekaflugur. The Dutch actually call the dragonfly a libelle, and this is by far the most common name, or variations thereof, I could distinguish, along with variations of the suborder the dragonfly belongs to, anisoptera. There are several other names to be found in other languages as well, but I'm not a polyglot (I only speak Dutch fluently, and I'd dare say I'm pretty good in English, too) so please don't quote me on all of this. All I know is that Yanma, at 3'11" and 83.8 pounds, is a big-ass dragonfly. Yanmega is even worse, sitting at 6'03" and 113.5 pounds, so I wouldn't want to encounter one in the wild. Both are probably based on a large prehistoric species of dragonflies that has long gone extinct, but especially Yanmega is based on this meganeura monyi. The fact that yanma is Japanese for 'large dragonfly' only backs this up.

Pretty nice, this piece of fan art. 

Yanma, who has some aesthetic traits with the red-veined darter, very much behaves like a common dragonfly: it makes sudden stops in midair and hovers in place by just flapping its wings. It can generate shock waves capable of shattering glass by flapping its wings very fast, something I doubt real-life dragonflies can do. Although Yanma doesn't have two arthropod-like eyes, it is capable of turning them 360° without actually having to move them around, very much like real compound eyes. Yanmega - into which Yanma evolves when it is leveled up while knowing Ancient Power, a move that both Pokémon have a quadruple weakness to - is a lot more terrifying. Both Yanma and Yanmega are predators, but Yanmega has immense jaw power, which allows it to bite apart its prey's head (decapitation?) while flying by at high speed, and its six legs can even transport a adult human being in flight. The shock waves it generates by beating its wings are even stronger than Yanma's: they cause internal damage to opponents and dislodge trees when Yanmega takes flight.

TCG art of Yanmega.

It proves to be just as terrifying in competitive play, as its quite capable base stat total of 515 doesn't exactly leave it vulnerable. Okay, it's defenses aren't all that - especially its special defense is awfully mediocre - but with 86 HP and defense it should be able to take a physical hit or two. I am going to dwell on two possible sets for Yanmega, the first being the Tinted Lens set. This set allows you to run Choice Specs, so to make sure Yanmega hits as hard as possible with its excellent 116 special attack: Tinted Lens lets all non-super-effective moves deal normal damage instead, while the Choice Specs increase Yanmega's special attack by 50% at the cost of limiting it to using only one move until switched out, so those are welcome boosts. Its other ability, Speed Boost, increases its speed every turn and works well in combination with a Life Orb and the move Protect, which prevents anything from happening to Yanmega. Although it is hard to use it twice in a row, just click Protect after you switch into Yanmega so that it can gain a free speed increase. Both sets should contain the moves Bug Buzz, Air Slash, and either Giga Drain or Ancient Power, while the Tinted Lens set fares better with something like U-Turn instead of Protect. A Timid nature is preferable in both sets, as it increases Yanmega's speed a little, but a Modest nature to focus on special attack instead isn't bad, either. Just know that a Tinted Lens set won't allow your Yanmega to outspeed many speedy Pokémon, while a few Speed Boost increases will.

Goddamn, that is a big-ass bug!

Yanmega is a weird thing that is suprisingly good in battle, especially when you consider it's an evolution of such a bad Pokémon as Yanma. While I'm not exactly fond of it, you can't say that I hate it, either. Its classification of the 'Ogre Darner Pokémon' looks quite confusing, but it's green and vicious - like ogres usually are - and it's based on the green darner dragonfly (its shiny form even on the less common blue female ones), so I won't question it. I have yet to use it on whatever occasion you can come up with - with other words, I have never used this thing before at all - so for now I'll give it 4 stars. Who knows, perhaps I'll max out its rating once I've gotten a chance to make use of it.

Rating: 4/5

#187 - #189: Hoppip, Skiploom & Jumpluff

One big, happy family: Hoppip (middle), Skiploom (left) and
Jumpluff (right).

I don't even have the faintest idea where to start with such insignificant Pokémon. It's funny I say that, too, because Hoppip might be derived from 'pipsqueak', which means as much as a person who's considered insignificant because of their small size or young age. That's not the reason why I'm calling Hoppip and its evolutions insignificant, though; no, the reason why I see them as such is because I don't think they're good Pokémon at all. Hoppip and Skiploom are actually terrible Pokémon: they have no attacking power whatsoever, and their defenses aren't anything to write home about, either. But if you think Jumpluff is where it's at, you're dead wrong. Okay, if you put some investment in its HP and one or either of its defensive stats, it might live two or three hits that aren't super effective, but it is generally a bad Pokémon. It's no good using it offensively, not even with its ability Infiltrator, which ignores the effects of Reflect, Light Screen, Safeguard and Mist and even bypasses Substitute. The only thing that Jumpluff could be used for, at least in my opinion, is for putting an opponent to sleep and then U-Turn the fuck out in order for you to switch into another Pokémon to finish that opponent off. Seems like as good a strategy as any, although there are other grass-type Pokémon who can do the exact same job for you while they're still packing a punch. They're probably not as fast as Jumpluff, but I guess you'll just have to accept that if you want a better Pokémon overall.

Cute Hoppip fan art.

Oh, you say there are better sets for Jumpluff? Well, it learns Swords Dance, and it looks great in combination with Seed Bomb and Acrobatics, but the latter only has a power of 110 when Jumpluff isn't holding any item, so that means you can't enhance its 'strength' even further with a held item if you want to use that move. And you might not have a choice at all, as it's the only good flying-type move it has access to and, above all, you're gonna need all the power you can get. What else should you run, a Bounce/Power Herb combo? It's better to just slap Memento (lowers the foe's attacking stats by two stages but causes Jumpluff to faint instantly) and/or Encore (locks the foe into an unfavorable move) on it and strategically try to maneuver another Pokémon of yours into battle and let it set up safely. Or just shy away from Jumpluff altogether.

I notice that this kind of art, in which cute Pokémon are thrown
on a heap, is fairly popular on the Internet. In this picture, a
shiny Hoppip is thrown into the mix. 

It's too bad I have to say that, because I absolutely LOVE Hoppip, Skiploom and Jumpluff's designs. They're based on the life cycle of a dandelion, which used to be my favorite flower when I was a kid, just because I would pluck them in the last phase of their life and blow the fluff away. The leaves on Hoppip's head, which have ragged edges, resemble those of the dandelion, while Skiploom's flower and Jumpluff's fluff are based on the middle and last stages of a dandelion's lifespan, respectively. Their names are a play on the phase , which means that something is just a short distance away. It's quite ironic, because Hoppip can drift away and uncontrollably fly long distances if they aren't careful, which is why they gather in clusters to protect themselves from strong winds that they can sense approaching.

Jumpluff.

Skiploom largely has its movements under control, though, and even tries to get closer to the sun in order to get some much-needed vitamin D. Nah, just kidding. It's just that the flower on its head opens and closes as the temperature fluctuates and blossoms when it gets warmer than 64°F. How much the bloom opens depends on the temperature as well, which is why Skiploom is often used as a thermometer by humans. Jumpluff very much behaves like a dandelion in the last phase of its life, as it drifts on seasonal winds to spread its spores and make offspring (yet in the games, Hoppip still hatch from eggs). Much like Skiploom, it hates rain and cold air currents, so it only rides warm southern winds. Even here, the phrase "Just a hop, skip, and a jump away" appears to be quite ironic, because Jumpluff uses these winds to cross seas and fly to far, foreign lands. I'm almost starting to think Game Freak's use of that phrase was meant to be ironic, but I don't think they're that clever, LOL. Also, it's a nice touch how Jumpluff's cotton-puff spores on/in its hands - I have no idea which one the fuck it is - resemble pom-poms; you know, those things that are often used by cheerleaders to cheer for high school sport teams. Maybe that's why Jumpluff is generally better to use as a support Pokémon, ha ha ha.

Okay, I'm lame.

I've always loved these Pokémon, but it's such a shame I found out they're not really good in battle, not even in-game. Skiploom evolves into Jumpluff at an early level (level 27), but that doesn't really help Jumpluff's cause, either: it might be good at the beginning of the game, but it'll fall behind on the other Pokémon in your team. Putting the foe to sleep with Sleep Powder and switch out afterwards is only useful in Nuzlocke variants, so I was very disappointed with it when I was doing a regular playthrough. That's why they're now a whole star short of a perfect rating, but I have to do this, however much I like these things.

Rating: 4/5

#298, #183 - #184: Azurill, Marill & Azumarill

Another thing: why does Azurill always look so sad, even
in official art? 

Okay, I know I repeatedly called baby Pokémon dumb, but this might be even dumber than dumb. Because WHAT is the point of giving Marill - a water type - a normal-type pre-evolution? So fucking pointless, I'm telling you... Everything about Azurill's flavor suggests it should be a water Pokémon, too. Its nutrient-packed tail looks like a beach ball and is often used as a flotation device or lifebuoy; it lives near the water's edge and likes to gather there with others of its species and splash about on sunny days; its classification as the 'Polka Dot Pokémon' refers to the Japanese word for 'polka dots', mizutama, literally meaning 'water balls'; its name contains the word 'rill', which is a synonym for a small river or brook; and its level-up movepool mainly consists of water-type moves, for heaven's sake! And then Game Freak made it a normal type. I don't understand, but maybe I'm just stupid. At least Azurill and its evolutions have had one type in common since 2013: they all gained the fairy type in Pokémon X and Y, although why they did is a fucking mystery to me. Its typing is not the only thing that bothers me about Azurill, though. You see, it has a gender ratio of 25/75, meaning it is female 75% of the time, while both Marill and Azumarill have a perfect 50/50 gender ratio, which means that Azurill's gender can change upon evolving into Marill. That's... stupid. Unless you're transgender your gender won't change ever, so why didn't Game Freak give Azurill the same gender ratio as its evolutions? I don't get this either, but like I said: maybe I'm just stupid.

Old official art of Marill on the left, new art on the right.

No, I like Marill and Azumarill a lot better than Azurill. Except for their fairy typing, they make a lot more sense to me. Whereas Azurill's tail is packed with nutrients that Azurill needs in order to grow and is used to fling itself at bigger opponents, Marill's tail is full of oil that is lighter than water and allows it to remain steady against the roughest water currents. It also keeps Marill afloat; even when it dives its tail is seen on the water surface. Both Marill and its evolution Azumarill have sensitive ears that can detect distant sounds, and Azumarill's ears even act like sensors underwater in order for it to know exactly what prey is swimming about. Azumarill is a master at camouflaging itself, because the splash pattern on its body is based on countershading: the upper part of its body is blue to match the surface of the water, while the lower part is white to match the sunlight seen from underwater, It can inhale and store a large volume of air, which it uses to make balloons if it spots a drowning Pokémon. Marill and Azumarill are probably on rakali (commonly known as water rats) and swamp rabbits, respectively, even though they mainly live nearby water and not necessarily in water. Both species can swim, but the water rat runs faster than it can swim and I don't think swamp hares can dive and hear underwater as well as Azumarill can.

The Marill family: Azurill (right), Marill (middle) and Azumarill
(left). Marill doesn't really have a tuft of hair, but it surely makes
it much cuter. Besides, its Pokédex entries explicitly mention it
has a water-repellent fur. 

They are probably less capable fighters than Azumarill, I'll betcha. But there is one condition for Azumarill to be a good fighter: its ability Huge Power, which effectively doubles its current attack stat. Its base attack stat is only 50, but it's only an indicator of how high its attack can get: with a beneficial nature (preferably an Adamant nature), perfect IVs and proper EV training its attack can reach a decent 218 at level 100, which will become a massive 436 when Huge Power is applied. Its base 100 HP stat and base 80 defensive stats provide it pretty decent bulk, too, so it is perfectly capable of taking a hit first - which it has to, because its speed is abominable. Its great offensive utility allows it to run pretty much every set possible: you can give it a Choice Band or an Assault Vest, whereas the Belly Drum/Sitrus Berry set is a very viable option as well. The latter makes Azumarill more of a late-game sweeper, and the STAB priority move Aqua Jet really helps it with that. As for moves, Azumarill has access to a wide variety of moves, which makes it pretty diverse. Aqua Jet, Waterfall and Play Rough are its main STAB moves, while Ice Punch, Superpower, Knock Off and Iron Tail might come in handy as well.

Pretty neat 3D model of Azumarill. 

If you are familiar with my blog, you already know I did a fairy mono-type playthrough. Azumarill - of course with Huge Power - was the Gen. II fairy (Clefable was the Gen. I one, Mawile Gen. III, Togekiss Gen. IV, Whimsicott Gen. V and Aromatisse Gen. VI) and I have to say it was a real MVP. I've definitely grown more fond of it over the years. And Marill... You have to love it only because of the temporary nickname it got before it was formally introduced: Pikablu. Even the Topps trading cards for the first movie erroneously refer to it as Pikablu, until it was changed to Marill in the second printing. Heh. Marill and Azumarill are pretty good, although I'm not a huge fan of their designs. Too oval-shaped for a bunch of rabbits, I guess. It's a shame they had to get a pre-evolution, although I have to be honest and say that Azurill is kinda cute.

Rating: 4/5

#165 - #166: Ledyba & Ledian

Two Ledyba and a Ledian accompanied by a Yanma.

When I was a kid, ladybugs were the only species of insects that weren't scary or annoying to me. I thoroughly hate most kinds of insects, to be honest, and although I have to admit some species serve as the inspiration for awesome Pokémon, I really don't have to like the real-life variants. Today, ladybugs are still the exception; my country (the Netherlands) has even adopted this little critter as a symbol against senseless violence, and more often than not the Dutch Foundation Against Senseless Violence places a street tile with this symbol on the sites of deadly crimes. Nintendo and Game Freak saw the ladybug as an inspiration for something more fun, however, and created Ledyba and Ledian. And I have to say that I actually kinda like their designs, even though they're nothing special. Ledyba suffers from an extreme form of anxiety: it is afraid or even unable to move when it is alone. It is a gregarious Pokémon and would rather want to stick with others of its species, which it communicates with by secreting an aromatic fluid from where the legs join its body and altering the scent when it wants to convey its feelings. When winter comes, they gather from everywhere and cluster to keep each other warm. Ledian, on the other hand, curls up inside a big leaf to drift off when it gets too warm during daytime. It is a nocturnal Pokémon that uses starlight as energy, and the star patterns on its back (which are just normal ladybug spots in its back sprites in the games) grow larger or smaller depending on the number of stars in the night sky.

Cute fan art of Ledian roaming around in the middle of the night. 

Though competitively, Ledian is absolute garbage. I don't like calling Ledian garbage, because I'm quite fond of this Pokémon, but Ledian is absolutely NOT a good competitive Pokémon. Heck, even in-game it's a terrible Pokémon: its attack and special attack are way too low for it to be useful, and its defenses are ass. Well, its special defense is a solid base 110, but it has no HP to back that up, so you'll be lucky if Ledian can survive two strong hits. I ever used one in a HeartGold playthrough, but I boxed it mid-game because it was such an underwhelming Pokémon. And that's an understatement. Let's put it this way: if Iron Fist was one of its two normal abilities instead of its hidden ability, Game Freak had switched Ledian's base 35 attack with its base 55 special attack, and the Choice Band was a regular item that could be found randomly during a playthrough, Ledian would still only be an OK Pokémon to use. I mean, what are you supposed to do with it, anyway? It has terrible offensive stats, which completely nullifies its extensive offensive movepool. And it has such a shallow support movepool that it renders it useless in that regard. Your best bet would be a Light Screen/Reflect set with Light Clay, but Ledian is outclassed by Pokémon who can do a far better job setting up or making opponents see stars.

Sigh. Game Freak, for heaven's sake, please find a way to make Ledian better than it is now, because it's such a shame to keep such a nice Pokémon so incredibly useless. At least make it so that Ledian can be used in a regular playthrough. I really, really like Ledian, but in order for it to get a perfect rating it'll have to become a lot better first.

Rating: 4/5

#155 - #157: Cyndaquil, Quilava & Typhlosion

You know, even though I like Maganium a lot more than Typhlosion now, I always ended up choosing Cyndaquil - and sometimes even Totodile - when doing a Gold or Silver playthrough. There's no denying it: out of all the Johto starters, Typhlosion is the best option to use in-game.

Art of Cyndaquil from Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon.

But I don't even know where to start with Cyndaquil. Its origin is an absolute mess, as it seems to be based on several mammals. Due to its long snout and the spiky fire coming from its back, the inspiration for Cyndaquil might be drawn from echidnas, which are hedgehog-like mammals that can lay eggs, very much like the platypus. It shares traits with shrew mice, which aren't actually rodents but are in fact a much closer relative of moles. Cyndaquil's Japanese name, Hinoarashi (ヒノアラシ), is a combination of hi (fire) and yama-arashi (porcupine) and suggests that it might in fact be based on a porcupine, although it is definitely a wordplay on hi no arashi, which means 'storm of fire' and sounds about right when it comes to Cyndaquil. Its French and German names of Héricendre and Feurigel, on the other hand, contain hérisson and Igel, respectively, which both mean 'hedgehog'. Finally, its closed eyes may be a reference to baby honey badgers, the creature its fully evolved form is based on. Can we just state that Cyndaquil is a shrew-hedgehog-mole-porcupine-echidna-badger? Naw? Let's just stick with its Pokédex classification as the 'Fire Mouse Pokémon' then, because I'm not even going to question that anymore.

This Cyndaquil plush is totally cute.

As if Cyndaquil's origin isn't already majorly confusing, Quilava's is kind of foggy, too. Whereas its appearance seems to be based on a stoat due to the lack of a tail and the fur on its upper body being significantly darker than that on its underbelly, its spotted fur and slender body might be references to the paca, a South American rodent. The porcupine and hedgehog are also still represented in its Japanese, French and German names, while its evolution Typhlosion is most probably based on weasels, wolverines and honey badgers. But Typhlosion is a whole other story, because its foreign names don't even contain the names of animals even more (except its Korean name, which contains beom, meaning 'tiger'; like, what?). Instead, the prefix ty- might stem from a plethora of things, the most obvious being 'typhoon'. Tephra is fragmental material produced by a volcanic eruption, and as Typhlosion is a volcanic Pokémon, it is not implausible that tephra might have been the inspiration for its name. It could also derive from Typhon, a giant from Greek mythology who fathered many other monsters with his wife Echidna. You see where I'm going with this? Additionally, it might come from the Greek word typhus or τύφος, meaning smoky or hazy, which refers to one of its characteristics that I will talk about later.

Hot damn. I know that many Pokémon are based on more than just one thing, but Cyndaquil and its evolutions really take the cake. This is ridiculous.

Pretty cool fan art of Quilava.

With all this bullshit about Cyndaquil, Quilava and Typhlosion's origin you'd almost think they don't have any distinguishable natures. Cyndaquil is a timid creature that curls up into a ball when it feels intimidated and the flames on its back burn more vigorously when it is startled, upset or angry. As you can see in the images above, Cyndaquil's eyes are never open, and no one knows whether they can be opened or not. Quilava's Pokédex entries aren't that impressive, however: the only characteristic worth mentioning is that it likes to show off how ferociously its fire blazes to its opponent before battle. Sometimes Game Freak really like to play Captain Obvious, in this case by stating Quilava can use its fire to launch a flame attack. Well, duh! Typhlosion, on the other hand, turns so incredibly hot when its anger peaks that anything that comes into touch with it will go up in flames. You know when it is ready to battle when its incredible body heat makes the air around it shimmer, which is also a defense mechanism in order to hide itself. In addition, Typhlosion can create huge explosions that burn everything to cinders by rubbing its fur together. That's when you know something is scorchingly hot!

Typhlosion.

Unfortunately, Typhlosion is heavily outclassed by other fire-type Pokémon in the RU (rarely used) tier that have much more utility to it, especially because they usually have a second typing. Also, Typhlosion doesn't have all that much diversity, so you're limited in your choices when it comes to offensive moves. What makes Typhlosion stand out, however, is Eruption. This move deals a massive 150 damage when Typhlosion is at full HP but loses its power when it is worn out. However, priority moves like Sucker Punch and Aqua Jet and entry hazards like Spikes and Stealth Rock make it very tricky to use, so you'll need to teach Typhlosion some moves that are more reliable, most notably Fire Blast and Focus Blast. The latter is an inaccurate fighting-type move that is often called 'Focus Miss', and for a good reason, but it provides for some decent coverage and it is all Typhlosion can get, unless you want to breed Extrasensory on Cyndaquil. Which, by the way, would not be such a terrible idea, as the Choice Specs Typhlosion will hold power up all of its special-based moves by 50%. And when used on a sun team, Solar Beam is an excellent option, because this grass-type move doesn't require a turn to charge when the sun is up. To top it off, you should give Typhlosion a Timid nature to take full advantage of its excellent speed, while its hidden ability Flash Fire increases its special attack by one stage and negates any damage when it is hit by a fire-type move. And if you want some extra power in a pinch, you might want to consider Blaze instead.

Typhlosion looks impressive, and because it is a hard- and fast-hitting Pokémon it's usually the best choice to start off with (as a Cyndaquil) when doing a regular playthrough. You'd be sure to OHKO a lot of Pokémon, but since HeartGold and SoulSilver it is even outclassed by Feraligatr, who really benefited from the physical/special split in Gen. IV. Ultimately, Tyhlosion is the Johto starter I like the least, although that does not mean that I don't like it overall.

Rating: 4/5

#147 - #149: Dratini, Dragonair & Dragonite

For comparison: Dratini (right) and Dragonair
(left) look significantly different than Dragonite
(floating above Dratini and Dragonair).

Okay, so... I understand the concept of evolution and I know Pokémon evolution is a whole different take on this concept. But usually, Pokémon that can evolve gradually change into a final form that looks like its pre-evolution(s), whether by shape, appearance, logic, color scheme or all of the above. Bulbasaur is a dinosaur-like reptile with a seed bulb on its back and is known to evolve into Ivysaur, who has a flower on its back that's about to bloom, and then one more time into Venusaur, a huge-ass dinosaur whose flower has finally fully bloomed. Squirtle is a turtle whose final form is an even bigger turtle with fucking cannons on its back, and Charmander's change into Charizard goes quite smoothly, even though both Charmander and Charmeleon look more like salamanders than reptiles or (flying) dragons. Butterfree doesn't even remotely resemble its pre-evolutions, but it's common knowledge that ugly catterpillars change into beautiful butterflies. The evolution of Magikarp into Gyarados seems odd, but it's based on the Chinese legend of how carp leaping over the Dragon Gate become dragons. But how on Earth does the beautiful, elegant, serpent-like Dragonair evolve into the ugly, plump and clumsy Dragonite? It's... it's just... I don't get it. I really don't get it. And to make matters even worse, Dragonite's shiny form has a sickly green color to it, which is so unlike Dragonair's shiny, with its pinkish body and the bright golden color of its beads. It's so pretty and elegant. That can't exactly be said of Dragonite, not even of its regular form.

Dragonair looks really savage in this amazing piece of fan art! In
fact, I think it resembles Norse sea serpent Jörmungandr a little
here.

It's even more confusing when you realize that Dratini, Dragonair and Dragonite all seem to be based on the same entities: ryū, Chinese and Japanese dragons that are often depicted as serpent-shaped water deities that traditionally symbolize auspicious powers, particularly control over water, rainfall, typhoons and floods, and are often thought to be bringers of strength and good luck. And that's what Dratini and Dragonair's flavor is all about, too. Dratini (despite its name some Dratini can exceed 6'06", which is actually quite big) is filled with life energy and thus it is constantly growing, shedding its skin regularly in a lair behind a waterfall. Its constant growth may be a nod to Jörmungandr, a sea serpent from Norse mythology that is believed to be the middle child of Loki (if you don't know who that is, you should watch The Avengers). According to Norse folklore, the god Odin took Loki's three children and threw Jörmungandr in the great ocean that encircles Midgard, causing him to grow so rapidly that he was able to surround the Earth and grasp his own tail.

This picture really emphasizes Dragonair's beauty.

And let's face it, Dratini and Draonair are based on sea serpents. Dragonair has such a large amount of energy in its body that it can discharge it through the crystalline orbs on its neck and tail, causing its body to brighten and give off an aura that can change climate conditions in its vicinity. By itself, it exudes a gentle aura of mysteriousness. The beads on its tail may refer to the rattlesnake being one of the things that may have been the inspiration for Dragonair. Another is Hermes, the Greek god of transitions and boundaries; an intercessor between the mortal and the divine; the protector and patron of herdsman, thieves, oratory and wit, literature and poetry, athletics and sports, invention and trade, roads, boundaries, and travelers; the conductor of souls into the afterlife; and the emissary and messenger of the gods. And only because the wing-like ears on Dragonair's head, with which it is sometimes seen flying, resemble the wings on Hermes's hat and sandals. Notwithstanding, it's more likely that Dragonair is based on the imugi, a species of lesser serpentine dragons that all full-fledged dragons once were, according to Korean mythology. After an imugi lives a thousand years, it will have to catch a jewel (called a Yeouiju) that falls from the sky in order to become a true dragon. The jewel on Dragonair's neck might also be a reference to the Japanese folktale The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, in which the princess Kaguya-hime challenges her suitors to bring her back some items, including a colored jewel from a dragon's neck.

Whew. All these legends are dizzying me right now, and I haven't even had the chance to discuss Dragonite yet. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a longer article than I anticipated.

Fan art of two Dragonair, one of them shiny, embracing each
other. Yet again, this image emphasizes how pretty Dragonair
actually is, as opposed to Dragonite.

Okay. So. Dragonite. I may have given you the suggestion that I hate this thing, but I don't. I just think Dragonair is prettier and more elegant and its body parts are proportinal to its shape, size and appearance. This is not the case with Dragonite: despite being bigger and having a bulkier physique (Dragonair probably only reaches a length of 13'01" when you stretch it out), the horn on its head is actually smaller than Dragonair's, and the wings are too small relative to the size of its body. Beats me how it can fly faster than the speed of sound, being able to circle the globe in 16 hours at a pace of 1,556 mph (Mach 2). Dragonite is an intelligent and benevolent Pokémon that is known for its altruism: it searches for and saves drowning sailors and leads lost and foundering ships back to shore, hence its nickname 'Guardian of the Sea'. It is even often described as a marine Pokémon that is said to make its home somewhere in the sea. But as Chinese and Japanese dragons are often shown as being serpentine, Dragonite definitely isn't. It shares some traits with 'normal' dragons, but not too many, and I don't think we should deviate from Dratini and Dragonair's flavor anyway. Because, after all, Dragonite is a sea dragon of some sort, and I guess I'll just have to deal with the fact that Game Freak have done a bad job creating a proper evolution for Dragonair.

Some pretty cool fan art of Dragonite.

Well, at least design-wise. Because competitively, Dragonite is one of the best Pokémon to use! With a base stat total of 600 (and being the final form in a three-stage evolution line), Dragonite is considered a pseudo-legendary Pokémon, alongside Tyranitar, Salamence, Metagross, Garchomp, Hydreigon and Goodra. With the exception of Metagross, pseudo-legendaries are usually dragon-type or dragon-like Pokémon that are hard to obtain, emphasizing the power and rarity of the dragon type. This was especially apparent in the first two generations: Dratini and its evolutions were the only dragon types in Red, Blue and Yellow, and Kingdra was the only dragon-type addition to Gold, Silver and Crystal. It was almost as if they were exclusive to those who could tame them, but at least you get something in return: Dragonite is crazy strong and has access to some pretty sweet moves, if I may say so. One move is a must-have for Dragonite: Dragon Dance increases its attack and speed by one stage each. If you can pull off one or two of those, you can fire away with moves like Dragon Claw, Earthquake, Aqua Tail, Outrage, the elemental punches, Brick Break, Steel Wing, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Power-Up Punch, Waterfall, Dragon Rush, Iron Tail, Extreme Speed, Iron Head, Superpower... Whatever floats your boat (no pun intended). With a Jolly nature, a Lum Berry as its held item (heals any status condition) and its hidden ability Multiscale (halves the damage from an incoming move when Dragonite is at full HP), you'll be set. With Dragon Dance in its arsenal, an Adamant Dragonite might not be a bad idea, and a Life Orb can be chosen over a Lum Berry instead. Just be aware that this item breaks Multiscale. Finally, a Choice Band set isn't uncommon, but you won't be able to use Dragon Dance, which is kind of a shame, to be honest.

In the end, Dragonite is an absolute MONSTER in competitive play, although I don't really like it design-wise. Dragonair has always appealed to me more than Dragonite did, and it has become one of my favorite Pokémon to date. It probably won't surprise you that Dragonair gets a perfect rating and Dragonite doesn't, and they're the first pre-evo and final stage within the same generation to pull that trick. (Magneton and Magmar did it before, but their evolutions are both Gen. IV Pokémon and were introduced 11 years after their pre-evos were.)

Rating Dragonair: 5/5

Rating Dragonite: 4/5