#484: Palkia

Even though Palkia may look a bit weird and awkward (to me),
there is quite a bit of fun fan art to be found of it. This artist
actually made Palkia a bit less weird, if only because it seems it
can move its arms more freely and because its design looks
more streamlined.

While Dialga looks as if it's about to fuck you up, Palkia could easily be Groudon's awkward cousin. Now, Dialga is a big, heavy steel-type sauropod and you wouldn't think it has a lot of space to move freely, but in some way Palkia looks way more stiff and robotic than its Diamond counterpart. The two big plates on its shoulder area, each encrusted with a pink pearl, are too round and feel out of place design-wise; its awkward little arms/hands seem to be anatomically connected to its shoulder plates, and judging from its official art it doesn't look like Palkia can move them up; its feet and nails are big and inelegant and stand in contrast to its tiny arms; and its elongated neck and the fins on its back give it fish-like properties. Considering Palkia's water typing that shouldn't be entirely surprising, but there is nothing in its lore or flavor that mention its affiliation with water and those features just make it look all the less menacing for a box legendary. It's like Ken Sugimori decided to randomly put a mishmash of features on the Pearl legendary and called it a day. Not his best day, I'd dare say. Dialga actually looks like it makes sense type- and design-wise, but Palkia...? Ehhh, not so much. That is not to say I hate or dislike Palkia, because it honestly still looks like a big-ass dragon and it has a power I wish I had, but I can't help but to think Game Freak could have put a little bit more effort into it instead of going with such a jumbled design.

Palkia and Dialga in a special LEGEND card
belonging to the Triumphant expansion of the
HeartGold and SoulSilver TCG series. These
are actually two separate cards.

Like I said, Palkia has a power I would kill for and it uses it with finesse. You see, it has the ability to warp space and create alternate realities - a concept we've gotten more familiar with in Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, but not due to Palkia. However, it lives in a different dimension itself and as a result its behavioral patterns are nearly impossible to study. Using its signature move Spacial Rend, it can rip through the very space an enemy resides in and damage it in the process. While it is known for its violent conflicts with Dialga, I'm sure Dialga will live a Spacial Rend due to its steel typing making it neutral to dragon-type attacks and blow Palkia out of the water with only one Roar of Time. On top of that, sauropods tended to be bigger and stronger than theropods, so that's another advantage Dialga has over Palkia, especially when you consider that Bulbapedia suggests the latter is based on a couple of smaller theropods - most likely the oviraptor. That critter had a couple of features that fit Palkia quite well, including a flashy mohawk cut. Furthermore, Palkia could be based on the liquid state of matter - hence its water typing - and while I think it's a solid theory, there are a few problems I have with it that I already discussed in Dialga's review. Folklorically, though, its origins most likely lay in the Shintō myth of Izanami and Izanagi - the respective goddess and god of both creation and death - who are said to have created one island with a spear, erected a pillar on it in order to mate and from there created the islands of Japan. That is probably why you face Cyrus and encounter the box legendary on a site called Spear Pillar, on top of Mt. Coronet. Not the most logical place to encounter a water type, but I digress. Last but not least, its name is simply derived from the Japanese spelling of pearl, pāru.

Palkia... about to screw things over? I don't know man, Palkia just doesn't look
threatening enough.

As for its competitive use, Palkia has a base stat total of 680 and it is therefore banned to Smogon's Uber tier. It has similar stats to Dialga, with only slight changes in its speed and HP as well as its defense and special defense being reversed. Like Dialga, Palkia has base 150 special attack and benefits from having access to STAB moves such as Spacial Rend, Dragon Pulse and Surf as well as coverage moves like Power Gem, Earth Power, Aura Sphere, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Focus Blast and Thunderbolt. Those moves are basically the same as Dialga's, with the exception of Focus Blast and their respective signature and non-dragon STAB moves. Just slap on the best moves you can find and you'll be good.

Palkia is interesting enough as a legendary and I have to say that I don't harbor a hatred or dislike for this Pokémon, but its cluttered design is a huge drawback in giving it a rating of 4 stars or higher. Flavor-wise there is nothing wrong with Palkia, but I have to say that it is definitely one of my least favorite legendaries so far because I just can't fully get behind its design.

Rating: 4/5

#480: Uxie

So now we've come to the first legendary Pokémon in the Sinnoh Pokédex, being Uxie, one of the Lake Guardians. Mesprit and Azelf are aesthetically similar to Uxie, but these three Pokémon are not as similar as, say, Latios and Latias are and they each boast different Pokédex entries as well as competitive strategies.

3D art of Uxie.

To start off, Uxie and its fellow Lake Guardians are the first legendary trio to play a significant part in the storyline of Pokémon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, as Team Galactic's boss Cyrus uses the crystals extracted from their tails and heads to create the Red Chain and contain either Dialga or Palkia - or both, as seen in Platinum, only for his plans to be thwarted by Giratina - so as not to reduce their power by capturing them in a Poké Ball. Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf even guide you through the Strength puzzle in the Distortion World in Platinum, and along with them being the source of the Red Chain this makes them probably the most important legendary trio in any storyline in the Pokémon franchise so far - and that's excluding the individual escapades of Suicune in Crystal and (to a lesser extent) Tapu Koko in Sun and Moon.

This artist has certainly made the Lake Guardians more kawaii.

Uxie looks to be the most serene one of the Sinnoh legendary trio. Known as 'the Being of Knowledge' and the guardian of Lake Acuity, it is said that its emergence gave humans the intelligence necessary to solve various problems and the wisdom to improve the quality of their lives, while those who see Uxie's eyes will have their memory wiped out by it. These characteristics, as well as its name, imply that it has the power to foresee the future: Uxie and Yuxie (ユクシー) both derive from yukusaki ('future'), chishiki ('knowledge') and 'pixie', indicating that it has the knowledge to see the future... or something like that. At least Uxie is a psychic-type Pokémon, so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that was actually true. The most interesting part about this Pokémon, however, is that it and the rest of the trio seem to have originated from another Japanese legend called the Imperial Regalia of Japan. Also called the Three Sacred Treasures, these regalia represent the three primary virtues of valor, wisdom and benevolence. I'll talk about the other two in Mesprit and Azelf's entries, but the artifact that Uxie seems to be based on is a mirror called the Yata no Kagami, representing wisdom and honesty. It seems to blend in perfectly with Uxie's design and Pokédex entries, and even its competitive utility to some degree.

This dreamy piece of Uxie fan art looks amazing!

Uxie is a serene and patient creature that likes to depend on its knowledge and wisdom, and I imagine it being some kind of pacifist. Therefore, this Pokémon seems to focus more on defense rather than offense, as is reflected by its base stats: its defense and special defense are both 130, backed up by a decent 75 HP stat, while its attack and special attack are both a mediocre 75 (yes, there's a difference between the base HP stat and the other base stats, but I don't know how this is calculated). With base 95 speed, Uxie is even quite fast, which is a rarity among tanky support Pokémon. It's incredibly passive, though, and it's really only viable when sporting Trick Room (reverses priority brackets, which means slower Pokémon move first unless a priority move is used on them) or a move that can set up sunny or rainy weather. Before doing that, however, you have the option to let Uxie set up Stealth Rock and/or kill itself with Memento, lowering the opposing Pokémon's attack and special attack by two stages while it's at it. Suspect a Stealth Rock coming your way? Uxie can learn Magic Coat, which bounces certain status moves back to the user. Yawn and Thunder Wave are options in order to inflict a status condition on the foe, while Skill Swap is a gimmicky and risky option that lets Uxie swap its ability Levitate with the target's ability. Unnecessary and unpredictable, if you ask me. You should at least teach Uxie one offensive move of its own type, preferably Psychic or Psyshock, so that it's not completely passive - and to prevent it from being Taunt bait, you could give it the Mental Herb, even though the Leftovers are generally better for longevity on the field alongside its defensive nature (Bold and Calm are the best ones, although Relaxed and Sassy work best when it's running Trick Room). U-Turn is an option, but it's quite weak on Uxie and perhaps you're just better off hard-switching out into another Pokémon.

I like this sassy fan art of Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf. 

It stands to reason that Uxie is not an easy Pokémon to use on a competitive team - and also not the most obvious tank - so maybe beginners should stay away from it until they have some experience in competitive battling. The fact that it is in one of the lower Smogon tiers doesn't help either, because that pretty much means that there are far better bulky support Pokémon than Uxie out there. Fortunately, it's still there forming an interesting trio with Mesprit and Azelf, who will have their turn being reviewed by me in the coming week. I love Japanese myths and stories, and these three being based on the Three Sacred Treasures really helps amp up their ratings, as they're honestly a little bland design-wise. Objectively seen, Uxie is the most interesting one aesthetically and flavor-wise, with its eyes that are constantly closed, but for other reasons Azelf is my favorite. That is exactly why I can't give Uxie a rating higher than 4 stars, although that isn't bad by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#453 - #454: Croagunk & Toxicroak

Looks like Croagunk is contemplating its life. 

Okay, so who remembers Brock's Croagunk pulling him away from attractive women? Instead of Misty or Max grabbing him by the ear, Brock gets Poison Jabbed by his own fucking Pokémon for harassing all the girls. (If the #MeToo movement were a thing in the Pokémon world, Brock would be in big trouble.) Getting owned by his own goddamn Pokémon is embarrassing, to be honest, not to mention Poison Jab should have killed Brock a thousand times over. You see, Croagunk is based on the poison dart frog, an amphibian that uses its bright coloration to warn other species of its toxicity, which is called aposematism. The fact that its fingers and and cheek pouches contain a poisonous fluid makes it as lethally noxious as the poison dart frog, yet it has just the right amount of goofiness to act as a comic relief in the anime series. Interestingly enough, the poison from Croagunk's fingers is a crucial ingredient in a medicine for lower back pain, which is... odd. And oddly specific, too; how on earth did they find out Croagunk's poison was essential to creating a remedy for lower back pain? I'm no doctor, and I'm sure not every ache is the same, but it's still a little odd why Croagunk's poison cannot be processed as a cure for other kinds of aches as well.

Croagunk as a playable character in Pokkén Tournament DX.

Anyway, Croagunk is one of only two unevolved Pokémon that can be used as a playable character in Pokkén Tournament DX, the other one being Braixen. I don't know why they didn't just include its evolution Toxicroak, but maybe it has something to do with Croagunk's unfair fighting style? It usually distracts opponents by inflating its poison sacs and making an eerie blubbering sound with those, after which it tries to stab its opponents with its poisonous fingers. However, the Pokédex mentions that Croagunk does this only to survive and that it is normally a mild Pokémon, even though it is literally also a fighting type. It indicates that Croagunk isn't a strong Pokémon to begin with, and doesn't seem to me like Croagunk can compete against the likes of Blaziken, Scizor, Decidueye, Chandelure, Suicune, Gengar, Gardevoir and Sceptile (and a whole lot more). I've never played Pokkén, however, and so I can't say for sure.

Toxicroak in TCG.

What I can say for sure, though, is that I like Croagunk just a little bit better than Toxicroak design-wise. It's not that I think Toxicroak is a bad Pokémon per se, I just think that the bulbous poison sac beneath its chin is incredibly distracting. It would have been better if Ken Sugimori, the artist who provides official art for all Pokémon, had just drawn a red patch on Toxicroak's throat and that its in-game sprites show this patch inflating whenever it croaks. This shouldn't have been hard at all, especially since all Gen. IV sprites move when a Pokémon is sent out in battle and constantly moving sprites were introduced only one generation later. But the sac does serve a purpose, as Toxicroak churns the poison stored in its sac for more potency, channeling it to its knuckle claws through tubes in its arms. Even a scratch from these claws could prove fatal. So Toxicroak can actually be cruel and fearsome as opposed to Croagunk's mild nature, lunging out to opponents with its poisonous claws by swaying and dodging their attacks and weaving its flexible body in close. Its claws and level of ferocity may have been inspired by the hairy frog, which defends itself by breaking its own toes and projecting sharpened bones from its skin, while the spike on Toxicorak's head is reminiscent to some horned frogs and toads in general. Bulbapedia says this spike is part of its skull, and I am inclined to believe them.

Seismitoad (left) and Toxicroak (right) would undoubtedly make
for perfect BFFs.

You'd think Toxicroak's violent attitude displays itself in the competitive metagame, but I honestly have to say this Pokémon's stats are a little disappointing. It has a fair amount of HP, but it doesn't have the defenses to back it up, and its special attack and speed are average at best. Its speed can be fixed with a Choice Scarf, after which its base 106 attack can do the rest, but this means it cannot use Swords Dance or Nasty Plot as it is locked into a single move until it is switched out. With a Swords Dance set, a Jolly or Adamant nature is required (Jolly is generally better due to the slight boost in speed) and physical moves like Drain Punch, Gunk Shot, Sucker Punch, Pursuit, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch, Throat Chop, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, X-Scissor, Knock Off, Poison Jab or Cross Chop are used to fill up the rest of its moveset. Keep in mind that Toxicroak is a poison/fighting type and that it should at least have STAB moves of those two types, as well as a type coverage move - usually something like Knock Off or Sucker Punch. When using Nasty Plot, you're much better off with a Modest or Timid nature and a special moveset consisting of either Sludge Wave or Sludge Bomb, Focus Blast and a type coverage move like Dark Pulse or... well, that's it, basically. It has access to Shadow Ball via TM, but as it already learns Dark Pulse and both dark and ghost cover the same types, that move is pretty redundant. And let's not talk about Mud Bomb, shall we? Maybe you should give it Vacuum Wave, a weak fighting-type move that does give Toxicroak some reliable priority that it doesn't have when running a physical moveset. It would hit pretty hard after a Nasty Plot boost, too.

Either way, a Life Orb is always a great item that gives Toxicroak's attacks some much-needed oomph behind them, whereas its ability Dry Skin gives it an immunity to water-type moves (but a weakness to fire-type moves, unfortunately). The Anticipation ability causes Toxicroak to 'shudder' if an opponent has a super-effective or OHKO move on it, as well as Self-Destruct and/or Explosion, and Poison Touch has a chance to poison the opponent if Toxicroak uses a direct move against it - so it is the exact opposite of Poison Point, where the opponent may be poisoned when it uses a direct move against your Pokémon. Neither ability is all that great, and the water immunity is preferred over Anticipation or Poison Touch.

Toxicroak in the anime, fucking Electivire all the way up.

I've got to give props to Game Freak for creating an interesting Pokémon like Toxicroak, but I have to be honest and say that this Pokémon isn't one of my favorites. There are a few aspects present in its design that I think are distracting (the enormous sac) or that I deem somewhat redundant, and its red upper lip falls into the latter category. This lip gives Toxicroak the appearance of having a mustache, and I think it would have looked better on it if it had been black, really. Also, I have no idea why both of its middle toes are red as well. It's not irritating or something, and they're probably red to have them tie in with the rest of its design, but I don't think it was entirely necessary. Otherwise, this is a great attempt at creating a unique Pokémon with a unique typing, although Game Freak could have done a bit better, especially regarding Toxicroak's stat distribution.

Rating: 4/5

#449 - #450: Hippopotas & Hippowdon

It’ll take some getting used to writing full-on reviews like these again, but I should be able to put a couple out this month.

A female Hippopotas on the left, a male one on the right. The
only difference between them is their reversed color scheme.

Let’s just say Game Freak have a knack for turning aquatic animals into land-dwellers, because shortly after a trio of land sharks we encounter an interesting pair of ground-type hippos in the National Pokédex. However, introducing Hippopotas and Hippowdon alongside the Gible line apparently wasn't enough for Game Freak, because we would be able to get on familiar terms with the likes of Krookodile and Stunfisk exactly one generation later. It's not like Hippopotas and Hippowdon are overly remarkable Pokémon; their main in-game shtick is the color differences they have depending on their gender. Whereas a male Hippopotas has a tan skin color with dark brown spots, a female is dark brown with tan patches on its skin; male and female Hippowdon are simply light brown and black, respectively. At least there's no shortage of evidence that Hippopotas doesn't like water, as it spends its time bathing in sand and avoids water at all costs, while it also enshrouds itself in sand as a protective measure against germs and even sweats sand. That's right, it expels grainy sand from its body instead of perspiration. Also, it prefers traveling in groups of ten, which I find oddly specific.

A big-ass Hippowdon ready to kick some butt. 

At least Hippowdon is much more interesting, design- and flavor-wise as well as competitively. This Pokémon is far more intimidating, being short-tempered and holding its mouth agape as a display of strength, and its massive jaws are capable of crushing cars. Hippowdon skillfully uses the sand stored internally to create dust devils when attacking. While Bulbapedia states that Hippopotas and Hippowdon are probably derived from the Arabian myth of Bahamūt, I believe this is actually an error. The origins of this creature can actually be found in Jewish folklore, as Behemoth is often described and depicted in tales as a hippopotamus-like creature that rules over the Earth's landmasses - which I previously addressed in Groudon's entry - but this already large creature is further magnified in Arabian folklore, turning Behemoth into a vast cosmic fish or whale that serves as one of the foundations on which the Earth stands (Bahamūt). I don't think neither myth is where you can find Hippopotas and Hippowdon's origins, but it's a good guess.

At least these Pokémon are undoubtedly based on hippos. Simple as that.

Sand spouting from the holes on Hippowdon's back.

Competitively, Hippowdon isn't quite the behemoth. Rather, this Pokémon more commonly serves as a Stealth Rock setter than an offensive threat, relying on Whirlwind to become set-up fodder. Fortunately, a moveset consisting of the moves Stealth Rock, Whirlwind, Slack Off and Earthquake - along with the Leftovers as its held item and an Impish nature - proves to be effective as ever, and it is exactly what Hippowdon is good at due to those massive base 108 HP and 118 defense stats. One drawback is that it is a pure ground type and thus not a rock type, which means that it doesn't get a special defense boost in the sandstorm it whips up with its Sand Stream ability when it enters the battlefield. Sand Force boosts all of Hippowdon's ground-, rock- and steel-type moves in a sandstorm, but if it has that ability it would have to rely on another teammate to set up the sandstorm in the first place, which honestly defeats the purpose of having Hippowdon on your team: as it's a support Pokémon, it is generally better to run Sand Stream so that it can support its teammates instead. Hippowdon is basically a one-trick pony, although its base 112 attack stat allows it to hit fairly hard with moves like Earthquake, Stone Edge, Crunch, Superpower and Iron Head if that's your thing. I wouldn't recommend it, especially since this thing is painfully slow and will almost always get hit first; plus, there are plenty more ground types to choose from if you want to go the offensive way.

In that regard. Donphan is a good offensive alternative to Hippowdon, both aesthetically and competitively, because it has a higher attack stat and has access to a priority move in Ice Shard.

Hippowdon lazing about while their young are playing around. Amazing drawing!

I have to admit that turning aquatic animals into land-dwellers is a creative way for the people at Game Freak to introduce us to innovative new Pokémon designs, although they should not let this happen too often if they don't want to turn into one-trick ponies themselves. Hippowdon isn't one of my all-time favorite Pokémon, and I don't think I'll ever use it in a competitive setting, but I am definitely open to using it in a playthrough if the opportunity arises. I'm a little bit confused as to why the huge aesthetic differences between male and female Hippopotas and Hippowdon were applied to this specific evolutionary line, but I rest my case.

P.S.: Hippowdon's French name of Hippodocus is partly derived from an extinct genus of sauropods called diplodocus. Who the fuck at Game Freak came up with that?

Rating: 4/5

#441: Chatot

I kinda have a love-hate relationship with gimmicky Pokémon revolving around a certain aspect that makes them unique. For example, I love Unown because there's a whole lot of mystery surrounding this Pokémon and I actually really like its design, but I dislike Castform because it's a head with testicles whose only shtick is to change into another form corresponding to the current weather condition (yes, I am aware it's based on the teru teru bōzu; and no, I do not care). On the other hand, there are some gimmicky Pokémon that I am somewhat indifferent towards, like Smeargle and today's subject, Chatot.

Chatot enjoying some petting. 

Chatot's gimmick is its signature move Chatter. Chatter was a field move (moves that can be used outside of battle) in Gen. IV and Gen. V and could be used to record and temporarily alter the battle cry of Chatot. The volume of the recording determined the chance of confusing the foe, but the base power of Chatter remained 60 no matter what. From X and Y onward, it is a 65-power move that always confuses the foe and unfortunately can't be used in the overworld to record Chatot's battle cry. If anything, it's a fun gimmick, and I think it's kind of a shame Game Freak got rid of it, but the complications caused by this move in Gen. V made them abandon the field move function altogether. You'd think that a 65-power move that always confuses the foe would be overpowered, but Chatot isn't very strong or fast to begin with: its base 92 special attack and 91 speed are decent, but it can either hold the Choice Specs at the expense of being relatively quick or it can hold a Choice Scarf at the expense of sheer power. And like burn, confusion got nerfed in Sun and Moon - instead of a 50% chance of hurting themselves, Pokémon now have a 33% chance of doing so. However, Chatot does have access to STAB Boomburst, a 140-power normal-type move that deals massive damage to anything that doesn't resist it. Therefore, people often run Boomburst in combination with Heat Wave and a fighting-type Hidden Power, in order to deal with steel and rock types more effectively, while U-Turn can be used to gain momentum.

Chatot in TCG. 

A Nasty Plot set with Boomburst, Chatter and either Heat Wave or Substitute isn't uncommon, either: Chatot can create a substitute and hide behind it, only to set up with Nasty Plot - which raises its special attack by two stages - and fire away with its STAB moves. Of course, in this case the Leftovers are recommended, as the Choice Specs and Choice Scarf force Chatot to use a single move consecutively until it switches out. At least it should have a Timid nature at all times, as well as the Tangled Feet ability; should Chatot get confused itself, moves used against it will have their accuracy halved. Keen Eye only prevents accuracy loss on Chatot, while its hidden ability Big Pecks prevents its defense from being lowered, which is... unhelpful. Chatot's not taking hits anytime soon with those terrible defenses anyway, so Big Pecks isn't gonna help it one bit.

But what about Chatot's origins? Are they anything special?

Chatot looks chronically suspicious in its official art. I wonder
what exactly its problem is. 

Well, no... not exactly. Chatot is based on a parakeet, or even other parrot species like the masked lovebird, blue-and-yellow macaw and even the rose-ringed parakeet in reference to its feathered collar (although it's kind of a stretch). Parrots are often known for imitating human sounds, and that is exactly what Chatot is all about: its tongue is similar to a human's, allowing it to imitate human speech. It is also able to cleverly mimic the cries of other Pokémon, which it uses as a defense mechanism. Chatot remembers the sounds it learns and arranges them into its own melody while keeping rhythm by flicking its tail, which is why its head looks like an eighth note and its tail resembles a metronome. That's basically everything worth mentioning about this thing, though; if it looks like a parrot and acts like a parrot, it is a parrot. However, I really like Chatot as a whole: it's cute, and the eighth-note shape of its head and the metronome tail are nice little additions to its design and mesh well with its flavor text, making it an exceptionally musical Pokémon. I do feel like an evolution would have been no luxury, as it's quite weak and very frail, but above all I would have loved to see the music aspect of its design be elaborated upon and the eighth-note head change into something like a treble clef (don't let Meghan Trainor hear that). All in all, Chatot is a moderately interesting Pokémon, and I am going to give it four stars out of five. I acknowledge Chatot is not a very popular Pokémon, but at least you'll have to admit it's a lovable Pokémon only because of its design.

P.S.: Chatot's Japanese name Perap (ペラップ) is pretty clever, as perapera can mean 'blah blah blah' or 'yada yada yada' - referring to how incessantly some parrots will talk and chatter - as well as 'fluent in languages'. Neat.

Rating: 4/5

#434 - #435: Stunky & Skuntank

TCG art of Stunky.

Do British and American people have any idea how cool 'skunk' sounds? We Dutchies call this critter a stinkdier, which literally means 'stinking animal', and I have to say that's pretty unimaginative.

Aside from that, Game Freak went the obvious way with Stunky and Skuntank's poison/dark typing, because God knows skunks are noxious and evil little creatures. Their butt-like faces make their flavor even more ambiguous, even though Stunky's Pokédex entries explicitly state that the foul-smelling liquid it secretes to drive attackers away comes from its rear, which is exactly how a real-life skunk does it (although Stunky and Skuntank's cries do sound like wet farts). The stench can be smelled from over a mile away and lingers around for approximately 24 hours, so in other words, there's nothing overly special to say about Stunky here. There's its feline appearance, but that isn't all that suprising if you think about it: baby skunks are often called kits or kittens, and sometimes the Americans refer to skunks as 'polecats', even though skunks and actual polecats are only very distantly related.

Skuntank is nothing but a larger and nastier Stunky, with a more noxious and dreadful-smelling liquid for it to spray around over distances up to 160 feet; and the longer it allows this liquid to fester within its body, the more powerful the smell. The foul-smelling fermented substance comes from the tip of its tail rather than its rear, and as its tail is bent over its head, Skuntank's name makes a whole lot more sense to me now.

Some examples of Skuntank in TCG art.

Unfortunately, it isn't such a tank in the competitive scene. Sure, it has a good amount of HP and some decent attack and speed, but everything else is mediocre. Skuntank learns Flamethrower by level-up - which, by the way, should honestly say it all - but it can't make use of it effectively due to that mediocre special attack stat. While an in-game moveset can be filled up by Crunch, Play Rough, Iron Tail and Poison Jab (about the only good physical moves it gets, and two of them are egg moves), Sucker Punch and Pursuit are more viable competitively, while Taunt is used to prevent the foe from setting up with anything and Defog can be used to remove hazards like Sticky Web and Stealth Rock from the battlefield. Additionally, the move Haze resets the stat stages of all active Pokémon on the field, which could come in handy if the opponent decides to go full kamikaze on you. That isn't to say that Flamethrower and Fire Blast are unheard of in the competitive metagame, though, especially because they provide excellent type coverage. They're among the few good special-based moves Skuntank can learn as well, although Crunch and Poison Jab are preferred over Dark Pulse and Sludge Bomb due to Skuntank's superior attack stat. Should you decide to go special anyway, Modest is the preferred nature, but Skuntank is more of a physical attacker and I recommend a physical moveset backed by an Adamant nature and maybe something like the Black Glasses as a held item. Some item for utility might be worth your while, too: a Lum Berry heals any status condition whenever Skuntank gets one, while Black Sludge is exclusively for poison types and works exactly like the Leftovers for them. Just make sure Skuntank has the Aftermath ability at all times, as it does some damage to the opposing Pokémon whenever they knock out Skuntank and because the other two abilities just aren't very useful.

Skuntank reimagined as a 'real-life' skunk. This is amazing.

I have absolutely no idea why I put Skuntank on number 42 in my top 50 favorite Pokémon four years ago; if I were to make a top 100 now, it wouldn't even be in it. Conversely, the next Pokémon on my review list (Bronzong) made its way to my top from rock bottom. Funny how that goes sometimes, huh?

Anyway, my statements above don't mean I have come to hate Skuntank all of a sudden. On the contrary, I still think this Pokémon is worth at least 4 stars; I just don't think this Pokémon is anything special and I definitely don't understand how I could love Skuntank to such an extent that I put it on friggin' number 42 in my top 50 back then.

Rating: 4/5

#425 - #426: Drifloon & Drifblim

Oddly vibrant and pretty art for a such a ghastly Pokémon.

The first proper balloon Pokémon - and no, the Igglybuff line does not count - are an interesting duo, to say the least. Of all things, Game Freak decided to give them the ghost type and the result is nothing less than terrifying. Drifloon may look cute, but it has a tendency to tug on the hands of children to steal them away, only for it to get pulled around instead. That is its Pokédex entry for Pokémon Pearl, however, as later ones mention it abducting children and dragging them away to the afterlife. Game Freak don't shy away from a little body-shaming either, as Drifloon's Sun Dex entry says it dislikes heavy children. I guess Tierno has nothing to worry about, then. Not that I'm opposed to there being a real-life counterpart of Drifloon if that were possible, because I absolutely hate kids. They smell bad, don't listen to their parents, tend to get in your way whenever you have to be somewhere, make a complete mess out of everything, and as teenagers they're just a bunch of stuck-up, ungrateful know-it-alls. But above all, little kids are loud. I am hard of hearing and I absolutely loathe the agonizing sound of screaming children. The worst thing is that parents don't even know how to restrain their kids anymore nowadays, or they simply don't care; as a result, they just let them be and it irks me to no end. Drifloon would be doing us all a favor by taking them away from us, I swear. Too bad it dislikes heavy children, because those are the ones who tend to easily get spoiled by their parents.

TCG art of Drifloon that seems to fit its typing and flavor much better than the
piece of fan art above. 

Anyway, Drifloon's lightness causes it to float about aimlessly, earning it the nickname of "Signpost for Wandering Spirits", especially because its body is formed by the spirits of people and Pokémon. It can expand or shrink to express its feelings, but its soul will spill out with a screaming sound if its body bursts. Yikes. Its evolution Drifblim is even stronger, carrying full-grown people and Pokémon as it flies. However, it has no control over its flight and as a result of it only being able to drift, people tend to go missing. Even while under careful observation, large flocks of Drifblim flying at dusk will inexplicably disappear from view. I like to believe Drifblim are making themselves and those bad parents vanish while their baby Drifloon are taking care of the parents' annoying children, which would be a wonderful solution for human overpopulation if these Pokémon did indeed exist in real life.

Oh, if only Pokémon were real...

This fan art of Drifblim is strangely tranquil.

But the closest thing we come to 'real' Pokémon are immobile, inanimate plushies and action figures, otherwise we're restricted to using pixelated characters on a handheld video game console. In that regard, Drifblim is kind of a strange Pokémon. Its stats are unevenly distributed, with massive HP and decent special attack, but with mediocre attack and speed and absolutely terrible defenses; one strong super-effective attack is all you need to make this hot air balloon pop. The best you can do is to use it as a special attacker, rocking a Calm Mind set with moves like Shadow Ball, Thunderbolt and Psychic boosted by a Life Orb and a Modest nature (Timid isn't bad, either). Maybe you could replace one move with Rest and give Drifblim a Chesto Berry to hold so it wakes up immediately after using that move, which isn't a bad idea when you're facing a special attacker. It can even get a speed boost from consuming the berry due to one of its regular abilities, Unburden. If that's not your style, Will-O-Wisp is an option to badly cripple opposing Pokémon, as a burn causes an attack drop on the foe and renders Drifblim's defense somewhat passable. Hex instead of Shadow Ball works well in combination with Will-O-Wisp, but it's risky and tricky to pull off with Drifblim specifically.

Smogon mentions a physical Liechi Berry set, of course with Unburden, but Knock Off is literally the only good physical move it gets aside from Acrobatics, which only does massive damage after it consumes the berry in question. It's backed up by Substitute, Destiny Bond and possibly Tailwind, but I don't think it's all that effective. As far as special-attacking options go, a Calm Mind set is really the only way to go. Flare Boost is a hidden ability that raises the power of Drifblim's special moves by 50% when it's burned (probably a reference to its hot air balloon aesthetic), and while burns have been nerfed as of Gen. VII, the risk of burning your Pokémon with a Flame Orb when you can easily set up a Calm Mind is just not worth it.

Fan art of Drifblim as an actual blimp. This is hilarious!

I feel like a lot of the Gen. IV Pokémon don't really meet my expectations. Driblim has an interesting design and an awesome concept behind it, but it just isn't executed well stat-wise. I mean, its HP and defenses make sense, as balloons aren't really that sturdy to begin with, but why isn't it slower and physically weaker? With such few options in Diamond and Pearl (evolutions of Pokémon introduced in earlier generations weren't available until the post-game content or in Pokémon Platinum), you'd think Game Freak would kick it up a notch. Granted, Drifloon can only be caught in the Valley Windworks on Fridays - comparable to Lapras in Pokémon Gold and Silver - but no reason is given for that. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, especially since Drifloon and Drifblim can't control their movements according to their Dex entries, but I guess we'll have to make do with it. I really like Drifblim's design and flavor, though, so I guess a four-star rating is well-awarded here.

Rating: 4/5

#415 - #416: Combee & Vespiquen

Combee's hexagonal shape perfectly lends it for locking together
with others of its kind, thus forming a 'wall'. There is even a shiny
Combee thrown into the mix. 

So now it's time to introduce the most useless Pokémon in the history of the entire franchise: male Combee. While Combee is pretty weak in itself, Pokémon that are equally weak or even weaker are often still able to evolve into more superior versions of themselves. Male Combee are based on drones, male bees in a bee hive that are the products of unfertilized eggs and serve to mate with a fertile queen bee. Unlike the female worker bees, drones don't have stingers and do not gather nectar and pollen. This is exactly the reason why only female Combee evolve into Vespiquen, which wouldn't be a problem if the gender ratio hadn't been 87,5% to 12,5%, with male Combee notably dominating the scene. In Diamond and Pearl, it was a very elaborate and tedious task to get Vespiquen, as Combee only appeared in Honey trees. In order to catch one, you had to slather Honey on designated trees and wait at least six fucking hours before a Pokémon appeared. Even then you couldn't be sure you'd get the right species of Pokémon - which is determined at the time a tree is slathered, so saving the game and resetting doesn't work - and if you did manage to get a Combee, you would have to get a female one in order for you to get Vespiquen at all. It's too much of a hassle for a Pokémon that isn't even that good in the first place, but whatever...

Some nice fan art of female Combee.

Admittedly, Combee's design is fairly interesting, aesthetically reminiscent to honey bees (well, duh!) as well as honeycombs. Combee is composed of three pieces of orange hexagonal honeycomb, and each hexagon has its own round face. The bottom-center one is the main thinker of the three and is also the only one to have a red mark on its forehead (if female) and a full abdomen, while the top two 'bees' coordinate the flying. Combee is almost always found collecting nectar, carrying it from flower to flower or taking it to its colony to please the queen, although the collected floral honey can have other purposes as well. When not gathering honey, it sleeps or protects its queen, which it does so by risking it life and recklessly attack any threats or by creating a hive with other Combee and locking together into some kind of wall.

Big bad Vespiquen comin' at ya.

Speaking of queens, the English name of Vespiquen is the only one referring to wasps rather than bees. It comes from vespa, which is Latin for wasp, although it's also the name given to a genus of wasps - specifically hornets. Granted, Vespiquen's black and slender waist connecting its abdomen and round upper body kinda give it the aesthetic of a paper wasp. More than anything, however, it seems to embody an entire beehive, not only because it's the queen bee or looks like real-life queens in some ways - the horn-like projections on its head resemble a hairstyle historically favored by early medieval-period English queens, and its lower body looks like an elegant ballroom gown - but also because there are honeycomb-like cells underneath its abdomen that serve as a nest for its grubs, making them do its bidding by excreting various pheromones while fighting foes. This manifests itself in-game in the fact that Vespiquen has access to no fewer than three signature moves, complete with animations that show several regular-looking bees performing a type of action: Attack Order to attack the foe for base 90 bug-type damage, Defend Order to raise Vespiquen's defense and special defense by one stage each, and Heal Order to recover half of Vespiquen's HP.

Vespiquen surrounded by its slaves. 

Unfortunately, Vespiquen's stats don't allow it to hit very hard or defend very well. Its base 80 offensive stats are okay for in-game purposes, but competitively they're practically unusable. On top of that, its base 102 defenses are backed up by a base 70 HP stat that could be considered no more than just okay, and its speed is just downright terrible. Also, Vespiquen has a quadruple weakness to rock due to its bug/flying type, and as Stone Edge and Rock Slide are prevalent in competitive play, it's bound to take one to the face eventually. Smogon mentions an offensive utility set supported by a Timid nature and a Life Orb, but do you really want that? You can probably 2HKO pretty much everything with a Bug Buzz when you're doing a regular playthrough, but a base 80 special attack stat really won't suffice in the competitive scene. In addition to that, Vespiquen is too slow to execute the utility part in 'offensive utility', so it won't be able to set up Tailwind effectively or take down a foe quickly with Destiny Bond, let alone do anything worthwhile with something else from its terribly shallow support movepool. It does get Defog, but only in the Gen. IV games, so you'd have to transfer it all the way from Diamond and Pearl to Sun and Moon. Not the worth the hassle. So, should you round out its moveset with two more special moves instead? Ironically, Vespiquen is able to learn the special-based rock-type move Power Gem naturally, while Sludge Bomb (via TM) might be a good option for the fairy types running around in competitive lately. A better option is to just make it physically defensive with a Bold nature and give it the Leftovers, but that's kind of redundant with such a terrible support movepool at its disposal.

Sadly, that's it. You could opt to go for a physical set instead, but the only good physical-based moves Vespiquen learns are Attack Order, X-Scissor and Acrobatics, the latter of which forces you to omit its held item from the set. And that's just... not favorable in the slightest, to say the least.

Funny fan art of Vespiquen seducing Beedrill. 

I like Vespiquen, I really do, but some Pokémon are designed or executed in such a way that makes them terrible while they were clearly supposed to be good. Vespiquen is one of them, and it's difinitely a pity it underwhelms me to some degree; I mean, its design and concept are sure interesting, but I boxed it in one of my Pokémon X playthroughs in favor of... well, Mothim, of all things. That Pokémon has something of an edge over Vespiquen due to its higher speed and access to Quiver Dance, and for some reason it also has far superior offensive stats. If anything, Vespiquen should have been a little bit faster and specially offensive in exchange for losing some of its physical attack, as I think it has no reason at all to have equally mediocre attacking stats in the first place, but that's probably none of my beeswax.

Rating: 4/5

#410 - #411: Shieldon & Bastiodon

Official art of Shieldon by none other than Ken Sugimori.

As the defensive counterparts of Cranidos and Rampardos, we have the rock/steel dual types Shieldon and Bastiodon. While steel is my favorite type, I am not the biggest fan of this evolution line. Resurrected from the Armor Fossil rather than the Skull Fossil, Shieldon is a ceratopsid dinosaur with a shield for a face and evolves into a ceratopsid dinosaur with an entire wall for a face. It's weirdly appropriate when you consider the fact that they're based on protoceratops andrewsi and the genus of chasmosaurus, respectively. The latter is known for containing species with head growths called frills, which have large openings called fenestrae in them, very much like the yellow marks on Bastiodon's protective growth that resemble windows in castle walls. Unlike Cranidos and Rampardos, who have quite the temperament, Shieldon and its evolution are docile and gentle Pokémon who wouldn't even hurt a fly - not that they could, because their offensive stats are absolutely atrocious, but I'll get back to that later. While Shieldon spends its time polishing its outstandingly armored facial hide against tree trunks instead of banging walls, Bastiodon doesn't even have to worry about that anymore: its wall-like face is so strong it can deflect even the strongest of attacks, which is why they line up and form an impenetrable wall in order to protect their young. Though in stark contrast to its superb frontal defense, it is vulnerable from behind.

A more realistic take on Bastiodon. I think it looks great!

Fortunately, Pokémon are facing each other in a Pokémon battle, so Bastiodon doesn't have to worry about its rear end in the competitive metagame. Also, it's not how the game mechanics work, either: if Bastiodon were to hit by a move like Phantom Force or Hyperspace Fury, two-turn moves that make the user vanish during the first turn and attack the target from behind in the following turn, its massive physical defense stat isn't lowered all of a sudden. And that's just as well, because Bastiodon is an extremely defensive Pokémon on both sides of the spectrum. Remember that I told you Rampardos is sometimes used as a suicide lead used for setting up Stealth Rock? Well, Bastiodon is so much better suited for that due to its defensive traits. Considering its base 138 special defense is lower than its base 168 physical defense, it often has a nature that boosts its special defense, such as a Careful, Calm or Sassy one. Combine that with Sturdy - an ability that leaves it at 1 HP when attacked at full HP, provided the attack would otherwise have knocked it out - and the Leftovers, and you'll have a Pokémon that is tough to take down. It is very vulnerable to fighting- and ground-type moves, but there's a nifty tactic that lets it take revenge in a snap: Metal Burst. If you make sure Bastiodon is at full HP and can take an Earthquake to the face, you can retaliate with Metal Burst, which is a Counter and Mirror Coat in one and does 1.5 times the damage dealt by the foe in HP points, either physically or specially. Unlike Counter and Mirror Coat, however, Metal Burst does not have decreased priority, so Bastiodon is the only Pokémon that can reliably make use of it because of its outrageously low speed stat. There's Aggron, Bisharp and Alolan Sandslash, but they're all powerhouses and benefit more from all-out physical attacks, and Solgaleo and Dialga definitely don't need it because they're relatively fast.

I'd almost forget completing Bastiodon's competitive moveset because I ranted on about Metal Burst. Well, that and Stealth Rock should be its staple moves, although Toxic is always a reliable classic and Roar can be used to remove Pokémon from the battlefield that are trying to set up. Alternatively, Magic Coat (so not Mirror Coat) reflects any moves that cause status conditions or put up entry hazards on your side of the field back to the original user.

Bastiodon looks menacing and intimidating, but it is in fact a very docile and
gentle Pokémon.

Shieldon and Bastiodon are a couple of oddballs. I don't know if the nose bone, reminiscent of those from various indigenous tribes, was intentional on Game Freak's part, but it's kind of putting me off and I don't think it was entirely necessary for design completion. The whole castle wall aspect is a bit confusing, as castles are a medieval occurrence and not a prehistoric one, but castles in the Pokémon world could have been inspired by Bastiodon's design, so I'll let this one slide. All in all, I like Bastiodon well enough, only for its moderately derpy design, but it's far from my favorite Pokémon. Steel type or no, this one is not getting a perfect or near perfect rating from me.

Rating: 4/5

#401 - #402: Kricketot & Kricketune

Kricketot soaking up some sun.

This little critter is curious in the fact that it's not your average early-game bug Pokémon; it's neither a larva nor a catterpillar, and it's definitely not a generic-looking spider or ladybug. Instead, we get a cricket or beetle with a conductor motif, complete with collar, tuxedo shirt and shiny shoes. The only thing that's missing is a bowtie, although not every music conductor wears one, admittedly. It's a bit of an unconventional design for a Pokémon, to say the least, but it makes for an interesting one, combining a human aspect with something many people have an aversion to: insects. That gets worse when Kricketot evolves into Kricketune, who is more distinctively an insect than its pre-evolution. The conductor motif is still visible in its design because of its mustache and cape-like wings, but its body now has the shape and aesthetics of a string instrument, most notably a violin. Kricketune's round shape and weird antennae makes it look a bit like a violin beetle, although the general inspiration for its name and design is still the cricket due to its habit to make chirping noises by rubbing their legs on their abdomen. Making sounds is generally all that this evolutionary line is about, anyway. In order to communicate with others, Kricketot shakes its head back to front, causing its antennae to hit each other and make xylophonic sounds that are considered hallmarks of the fall. Kricketune, however, is able to compose more refined melodies ad-lib. The improvised tunes it creates are used to convey its many emotions and sound so captivating because it resonates its cry in the hollow of its belly. Apparently, Kricketune's captivating melodies have inspired lots of people in the Pokémon world, as scientists are studying its melodic patterns and a village somewhere in what I assume is the Sinnoh region hosts an annual contest based on its amazingly variable cries.

I imagine Kricketune composing some its finest tunes here. 

I wish that Kricketune was as interesting competitively as it is flavor-wise, because its best stat is literally its base 85 attack stat. It's not fast, however, nor is it defensive in any way, so you'd probably wonder what it should be used for. Well, it learns Sticky Web by level-up, and if you give it a Focus Sash as a held item as well as a Jolly nature, it might either outspeed the foe and set up its web or live a hit due to its Focus Sash only to set up its web afterwards, provided it's at full HP. Once set up, Sticky Web lowers the speed of every incoming Pokémon - barring any flying types or Pokémon with the Levitate ability - on the opposite side of the battlefield, but it's generally better just to use Galvantula for that. A base stat total of 384 is pretty bad and will leave you dissatisfied for sure. Kricketune might be a decent addition to an in-game team, as it learns quite a few physical moves that may make it somewhat usuable, among which X-Scissor, Leech Life, Brick Break, Knock Off and Night Slash. You might be able to do something with Bug Bite, Fell Stinger and Aerial Ace if you have the Technician ability on it, which raises the power of moves with a power of 60 or less by 50%, but this is its hidden ability and I believe it isn't available regularly. It's also useless on a competitive Kricketune, as it is used for utility rather than dishing out damage, sporting a moveset consisting of Sticky Web, Taunt (prevents opponents from trying to set up themselves), Knock Off (does damage and gets rid of the foe's held item) and Endeavor (causes the target's HP to equal Kricketune's current HP).

Kricketune playing its one arm with its other arm like a violin, creating some
captivating melodies as a result.

I honestly think Kricketune has an original design and flavor to it, but it is very limited by its competitive capabilities - or rather, its lack thereof. I've never used it and I probably never will, but its design is original and creative and I have to give Game Freak some credit for it. If only they had given this Pokémon some better stats, it would have gotten at least half a star more, if not one whole star. For now, though, Kricketune will have to do with a rrating of four stars, which isn't bad by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#386: Deoxys

All Deoxys forms. Clockwise from bottom left to bottom right:
Defense Forme, Normal Forme, Attack Forme and Speed
Forme. Official artwork by - who else? - Ken Sugimori.

The last Pokémon in the Hoenn Pokédex is an odd one. While we humans are still speculating about whether there's life beyond Earth, the Pokémon world already got an extraterrestrial being in the form of Deoxys. This Pokémon comes in four different forms (Normal Forme, Attack Forme, Defense Forme and Speed Forme), and the main components that are constant for all of them are a dominant orange color, a bluish-green face, three bluish-green dots on their backs arranged in a triangle, a purple stripe running down the center of their faces and a purple crystalline organ in their chests that appears to be the brain. I am not going into detail about the differences between all forms, but just know that the first letters of Deoxys's form names spell out 'DNAs' in order from the most bulky-looking form to the most bare-looking one, showing less of its orange-colored plates and revealing more of its sleek and striated black body as it changes from Defense to Speed Forme. Then again, Deoxys was formed when the DNA of a space virus underwent a sudden mutation upon exposure to a laserbeam (hence its classification as the 'DNA Pokémon'), and it came to Earth on a fucking meteorite. Therefore, it's not surprising that this Pokémon can adjust its form to its own will - not in the games, unfortunately, in which you're required to take it to a meteorite in the overworld - and is able to regenerate any part of its body it may have lost in battle, as demonstrated in the seventh movie Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys. Also demonstrated is its ability to create an aurora without changing the form it's in. These auroras can have different electromagnetic wavelengths and are used to communicate with other Deoxys, and the various electromagnetic waves given off by people, Pokémon and all electronics can obscure its vision if there is enough interference with its communication. Such a movie, right?

In fact, that movie is kind of important when talking about the lore of this Pokémon, so get ready.

The official film poster for Pokémon: Destiny
Deoxys.

You see, you'd think that Rayquaza has more of a connection with Groudon and Kyogre, but this dragon Pokémon has comparatively little to do with these weather titans and almost has no interaction with the pair of them. It shows up in Emerald to break up the fight between Groudon and Kyogre, but only for a sequence of a couple of seconds long, after which it returns to the Sky Pillar only for the player character to catch it in a goddamn Master Ball. It also shows up in the Delta Episode of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, but only after the disaster with Primal Groudon/Primal Kyogre is averted and a new threat turns up: a meteorite that is about to collide with Earth threatens the human race and your objective is to hop on the back of Mega Rayquaza, travel to space and destroy the meteorite... only for you to battle and catch the Deoxys hidden inside it - which, by the way, makes me think that Deoxys has lost its status as a mythical Pokémon, because these are usually event-only. In any case, the movie follows a similar pattern in that a meteorite containing Deoxys manages to crash down on Earth in the polar regions and Rayquaza, whom you can call any variation of 'the Guardian of the Ozone Layer', perceives this as an invasion of its territory and attacks, ending up destroying the camp of a group of researchers and blasting Deoxys to the bottom of the ocean. A green crystalline orb is taken back on a chopper with the researchers, and four years later the orb is subject to laser experiments. Meanwhile, Deoxys has regenerated and bursts through the ice, heading for a technologically advanged city called LaRousse City to find its friend. Of course, Rayquaza frantically starts searching for the threat to prevent any catastrophes from happening, but the question remains whether it actually succeeds in that, as an all-out fight between Rayquaza and Deoxys ensues. In the meantime, Ash's Pikachu shocks the laser machine to give it more power, resulting in the green orb transforming into a second Deoxys who even saves Rayquaza from the first Deoxys's attacks. However, when the block security robots protecting the city power up and go into overdrive due to Pikachu's electrical boost, Rayquaza gets buried under them, and when the Deoxys try to help it the exact same thing happens to them in the process. Needless to say it's up to Ash to save the day.

Unintentional rhymes for the win.

This is some awesome eerie fan art of all different forms of Deoxys.

Oh, what happens with the Deoxys, you ask? Well, they befriend Rayquaza and go home after an unnecessarily extended stay on Earth. Yeah, it's a bit of an anticlimax now, but back then this movie was my third favorite just after The Power of One and Spell of the Unown, just because I thought it was more action-packed than the previous movies. Nowadays it would be nowhere near as close to my top 3. It probably falls a little short compared to later movies (I've seen every movie up until the one with Victini and Rashiram/Zekrom, so I've got some catching up to do), but it's still a decent movie that is far more exciting and action-packed than the regular anime, although that shouldn't be too hard.

Nothing can beat a movie or a three-episode anime arc with Lugia, though.

Mega Rayquaza vs. Normal Forme Deoxys. This form also has
the ability to transform its tentacles - coiled in a double helix, like
a DNA strand - into a full-fledged hand, apparently. Huh, I had
never even noticed that, to be honest. 

In the competitive scene, Deoxys is kind of a weird Pokémon to use. It's too strong for the OU, UU, RU and NU tiers, but it is too feeble to use in the Uber tier. Let's start with Normal Forme Deoxys, who has base 150 offensive stats and base 150 speed, which is nothing to sneeze at. Though its base 50 defenses are complete and utter shit and it will hardly be able to take a hit, unless you invest some EVs in HP and either defense or special defense, which is hardly worth the hassle. You'll be better off with Attack Forme Deoxys, then, who's sporting off-the-chart base 180 offensive stats and base 150 speed, but with even more abysmal defenses than Normal Forme. Attack Forme can dish out heavy damage really fast (and its diverse movepool sure helps with that), but it's a certainty it gets knocked out at the first opportunity your opponent gets, so you might want to give it a Focus Sash to ensure it can live at least one hit at full HP. Or just give it a Life Orb to enhance its damage output as much as possible, I really couldn't care less. Speed Forme Deoxys looks like it's the most frail one, but it actually has very well-rounded offensive and defensive stats as well as excellent base 180 speed. However, its less-than-stellar base 50 HP stat - which every Deoxys form has, by the way - doesn't back up its decent defenses and its offensive stats are a little bit too mediocre to do much with them. Speed Forme is mainly there as a Stealth Rock and Spikes setter and be gone from the battlefield as soon as possible, and even though Smogon's recommended moveset also contains Taunt and either Magic Coat or Skill Swap, I'd really swap one out - preferably Taunt, because there are plenty of other Pokémon who can learn that move - for a strong offensive move like Psycho Boost. Lastly, we have Defense Forme Deoxys, who is really made to act as a supportive wall; just give it Stealth Rock or Spikes to set up some kind of entry hazard, teach it Toxic and Recover so that it can wear down opposing Pokémon while healing itself up, and slap Knock Off on it to annoy opponents that use Pokémon that rely on their held items. Although its HP is still horrible, its base 160 defenses ensure that it can survive at least a couple of hits, especially when it's holding the Leftovers to heal a little of its HP every turn.

This portrayal of Deoxys in a more realistic style is actually totally creepy.

Deoxys in general has a wide offensive and support movepool, with even set-up moves as event-only moves available to it. Even the different forms have slightly different level-up movepools. With the right moves and EV investment on the right form, it can be a force to be reckoned with or a tough cookie to take down. Design-, flavor- and battle-wise, Deoxys is a weird Pokémon, but nevertheless it has never appealed to me as much as it probably should have. It's a nice and clever Pokémon, with its name also being an abbreviation of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and all, but not awesome enough for me to actually care about it; it definitely doesn't have the cuteness of Pokémon like Mew and Jirachi either, and, above all, I never really had the chance to obtain one in the first place. The first Deoxys in my possession was the one I caught on my Alpha Sapphire cartridge. Go figure.

And that's it, then. We're done with Hoenn now, and I'll be talking about the Sinnoh starters before you know it. Also, you'd better brace yourselves, because I'm gonna be talking about my all-time favorite Pokémon very soon!

Rating: 4/5