#557 - #558: Dwebble & Crustle

To anyone who remembers: back in the day, Slowbro was categorized as the 'Hermit Crab Pokémon'. Now we get to discuss two Pokémon that are actually based on hermit crabs, although neither is classified as such; Dwebble is called the 'Rock Inn Pokémon', while its evolution Crustle is known as the 'Stone Home Pokémon'. Is this the game we're playing, Game Freak?

Cilan's Dwebble in the anime. In the second image you
can see it without it being tucked into its rock shell, which
it seems to be repairing.

A hermit crab is a crustacean with a soft, asymmetrical abdomen that is concealed in a scavenged mollusk shell carried around by the hermit crab, although hollow stones and pieces of wood are used by some species. Dwebble, the Pokémon that is based on this animal, was seen in the anime without its rock shell as well, with a hook-like tail that is possibly used to keep the rock in place or to carve itself a new home should its old one gets lost or destroyed. With the help of a corrosive spray expelled from its mouth to dissolve the rock after inspection, carving a new home shouldn't be much a problem for this little critter. However, if the rock indeed breaks, Dwebble becomes agitated and can't and won't calm down until it finds another rock to replace its old home with, which makes its French name Crabicoque even more fitting: bicoque is French slang for a ramshackle or dilapidated house, which seems to imply that Dwebble isn't picky at all when choosing a rock to live in - either that, or its acidic saliva really doesn't help improving the quality of its home. I'm not sure if the shell changes with it when it evolves into Crustle, but it seems odd that a spherical rock turns into what looks like a massive block of stratified stone (a stratum is a layer of sedimentary rock or soil formed at the Earth's surface, with internally consistent characteristics that distinguish it from other layers; each layer is generally one of a number of parallel layers that lie one upon another, laid down by natural processes) rather than an actual shell, although the design seems to resemble ornately-colored hermit crab shells.

An exceptionally mossy Crustle with an entire ecosystem on its back. It is even
graced by Shaymin's presence. 

These heavy slabs, which seem to consist of multiple layers of strata, are carried around by Crustle through arid lands for days on end due to the enormous strength in its legs. However, Crustle is very territorial and fights viciously in competitions for a habitat: the one whose boulder is broken first is the loser of the battle and will have to find another place to make its home, so its ability to travel long distances with heavy blocks of rock on its back comes in very handy, if I may say so. One of the most bizarre things about this is that, contrary to Dwebble, the giant block of stone on Crustle's back isn't actually its home, but something that seems to be more like a status symbol. It doesn't look like Crustle can retreat in its 'shell'; it just seems keen on lugging it around for no discernable reason other than the fact that it is able to do so in the first place. I wonder whether this boulder isn't physically a part of Crustle, because one Pokédex entry says that whenever it is broken in battles for territory, Crustle feels unsure and begins to weaken - plus, the rock changes color in its shiny form and turns into the same sickly shade of green as its body.

Another piece of fan art with an ecosystem on Crustle's back.

Competitively, Crustle doesn't have a lot of tricks up its sleeve. Its base attack went from 95 to 105 in the most recent generation, which is nice, while its base defense sits at an excellent 125 points, but unfortunately it isn't fast or specially defensive. The speed problem can be fixed to an extent by giving Crustle a Jolly nature as well as the move Shell Smash, which raises its attack, special attack and speed by two stages each, but keep in mind that this comes with a defense and special defense penalty. As a result of that, the White Herb would be a perfect held item for Crustle to have, because it reverts back all decreased stats to their original state. It has a one-time use only, so use it wisely. Of course, a set like that asks for a couple of strong physical moves for Crustle to use, and it seems Crustle has just about enough of them. Rock Wrecker is very niche and requires Crustle to recharge the following turn (which I don't think it can afford to do), but it has 150 power and hits like a truck after a Shell Smash. You're better off using Rock Slide or Stone Edge in the end, though, accompanied by X-Scissor and Earthquake, although Crustle also has access to Poison Jab and Knock Off - especially the latter could come in handy, if the opponent's held items are really bothering you. This White Herb set is perfect if you breed Sturdy onto Crustle, because this ability leaves Crustle with only 1 HP when attacked at full health and that basically means you'll have a free Focus Sash on your hand. Shell Armor prevents critical hits, which is a good ability if you want to go defensive with it and use it as an entry hazard lead, but I'd recommend the hit-and-run tactic. Shell Smash is such a fun move to use that it's hard to pass on it; not many Pokémon have access to it and Crustle is strong enough to utilize this move to its full extent.

TCG art of Crustle

I actually really like Crustle. This Pokémon is original enough to warrant its existence, especially when it comes to its design, although there are a few flaws that I would like to point out. First off, Crustle's Pokédex entries are as generic as can be, however fun it might be to speculate about the big boulder on its back. They only mention it violently fighting each other because it's extremely territorial, and I'm pretty sure I've already seen that coming up with a couple of other Pokémon in some way, shape or form before. Second, anime Crustle is way too red. Dwebble might be a brighter orange than its evolution, but Crustle's body is still (a shade of) orange rather than crimson, and I'm actually really bothered by the way it was colored in the anime. Fortunately, that is it. I like Crustle a lot, but it's by no means one of my favorite Pokémon. Perhaps I'll raise my score once I get more attached to it during a playthrough, but for now it just falls short of a 5-star rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#548 - #549: Petilil & Lilligant

Petilil (left) and Lilligant (right).

While Cottonee and Whimsicott are dual grass/fairy types, the pure grass-type Pokémon Petilil and Lilligant look more like fairies than their counterparts do. In reality, though, Petilil is just a plant bulb and prefers living in soil abundant in moisture and nutrients - in short, it's a plant that needs rich and fertile soil to grow. How incredibly enlightening. Granted, the leaves on its head have revitalizing effects and drive away weariness, even to the point that they're very popular with the elderly, but they taste so bitter that they can presumably cause dizziness. Petilil is based on a plant bulb from the liliaceae family; most of its foreign names suggest that the tulip was the inspiration for Petilil, but its evolution Lilligant (who can be obtained by using a Sun Stone on Petilil) is clearly based on a lily instead. Lilies are often considered pretty and elegant yet fragile flowers, and it's no surprise that Lilligant was designed to be beautiful and regal-looking as a result, donning a scarlet flower on its head complete with yellow filaments and red anther resembling a crown in the middle. Lilligant's beauty makes it very popular with female celebrities, and the 'crown' and 'dress' derived from 18th-century Western high-class women's fashion definitely contributes to that, although it is suggested that the 'dress' actually resembles a ball gown and Lilligant is based on a dancer instead - which isn't such a farfetched theory to begin with, as several of the moves it learns by leveling up (Petal Dance, Quiver Dance and Teeter Dance; it also learns Swords Dance by TM) are about dancing. To coincide with the lily's apparent fragility, the flower on Lilligant's head is very difficult to coax into bloom even for veteran Trainers and will wilt if Lilligant is neglected, but once it does bloom it emits a sweet-smelling aroma that has a relaxing effect on those exposed to the scent.

Elegant and innocent Lilligant.

Competitively... well, I wouldn't recommend using Lilligant in a competitive setting, but should you insist, you'll have to rely on the move Quiver Dance. This is a move with the powerful effect of raising your Pokémon's special attack, special defense and speed stats simultaneously, and only butterflies, moths, a bee fly family and one powerful-ass cockroach can learn the move - as well as Lilligant and Bellossom, apparently. Lilligant already kinda stole Bellossom's dancing shtick and improved on it, as it is faster and stronger than Bellossom, making it a more effective sweeper. The downside to using Lilligant over Bellossom is that it isn't as bulky or versatile; while Bellossom can quite effectively live a hit and then use Quiver Dance and fire away with moves like Energy Ball/Giga Drain, Sludge Bomb and Moonblast, which fill up the rest of its moveset, Lilligant literally only has grass-type special moves in its offensive arsenal and nothing else. Pokémaniacal sums it up perfectly: "Lilligant, unfortunately, doesn’t have a nagging gap in her offensive coverage so much as nagging offensive coverage in her gap." With base 110 special attack and 90 speed, Lilligant could have been a decent sweeper, but it's just no use using a moveset consisting of Quiver Dance, Giga Drain, Petal Dance and Energy Ball, just to come up with something. Sure, there's Hidden Power (rock covers a few of its weaknesses), but that move isn't strong enough for Lilligant to compensate for its lack of offensive moves, and the Sleep Powder/Dream Eater combo is simply too... laughable. Sleep Powder is horribly inaccurate to begin with, and an opponent can always withdraw a sleeping Pokémon at any given moment, making Dream Eater way too unreliable.

Oh, you want set details? Uh huh, well, how does a Timid nature sound? It's a way to make Lilligant as fast as possible, at least. And you want it to have the Chlorophyll ability as well, you say? I mean, if you want to make Lilligant extra weak to fire, go right ahead. It's usually redundant in combination with a move like Quiver Dance and I'd recommend Own Tempo instead, an ability that prevents confusion and therefore works great with Petal Dance. What did you say you want Lilligant to hold? A Life Orb or Grassium Z? Grass is one of the worst offensive typings, but sure... why not? It's not like Lilligant has anything better to make use of, right? There's the Focus Sash, but Lilligant isn't that frail and it outspeeds quite a few things after a Quiver Dance boost anyway, so most of the time it doesn't have to worry about getting hit first.

This artist has done a great job portraying Lilligant in different states and positions,
including a completely withered one. They even threw a Petilil into the mix as well.

Man, man, man, I really wish Lilligant would be a better Pokémon. The worst thing is that Game Freak designed this thing with the intention to make it good in battle, judging by the fact they gave it Quiver Dance and Petal Dance as well as the Own Tempo ability. Lilligant just turned out to be a huge disappointment competitively - or just offensively in general, because even in a playthrough it's just okay. Not that its offensive presence and strong STAB in Petal Dance makes it the worst Pokémon by any means, but its lack of versatility just completely kills the potential it had - and still has, as it's not too late to give Lilligant some sort of type coverage. Come on, Game Freak, Bellossom looks just as fey as Lilligant does, and it has access to both Dazzling Gleam and Moonblast - and Sludge Bomb, for that matter, but that can be attributed to its pre-evolutions Oddish and Gloom being poison types.

But granting Lilligant access to even Dazzling Gleam is just too much to ask, as Game Freak couldn't even get Lilligant's flavor right: Lilligant's Moon entry states that the flower on its head darkens, droops and withers away as soon as it finds a male to be its partner - and Lilligant is a female-only species. I mean, it could get a Pokémon from entirely another species as its partner, but I don't think that's what the Pokédex meant. It's such a shame Lilligant wasn't thought through all that well, because I absolutely love its design and concept, but in the end I'll have to subtract half a point from it. I cannot in good conscience call Lilligant a perfect Pokémon and thereby call it one of my absolute favorites. Not with so many things about it that I critiqued.

Rating: 4.5/5

#540 - #542: Sewaddle, Swadloon & Leavanny

Pinsir, Scyther and Armaldo aren't bad, Scizor and Heracross are even better, and Game Freak did Beedrill and Yanma a huge favor by giving them a respective Mega evolution and regular evolution (Yanmega). On the whole, though, there aren't that many good bug-type Pokémon to be found in the earlier generations, which is partly due to said bug types being such early-game trash: Caterpie, Weedle, Ledyba, Spinarak, Wurmple, Surskit, Kricketot and Burmy turned out to be nothing good offensively and even Paras, Venonat and Nincada are useless to some extent. Heck, Pineco shouldn't be that bad, but Forretress doesn't learn shit for offensive moves and is used as a wall more than anything else, which makes it tricky to use in a playthrough.

Admittedly, Sewaddle is pretty cute for a caterpillar.

Gen. V took a turn for the better when the early bugs were repositioned and weren't even available to you until after beating the second Gym Leader, Lenora. Even then, Sewaddle and Venipede are both excellent options for your in-game team, despite them being the first bug types you happen to run into in Pokémon Black and White. I've actually never used Sewaddle in particular, but I have to say this grassy caterpillar is one of Game Freak's most original bug designs. There's a big, broad, bitten leaf enfolding its head like a hood, which it chews up and then sews using a sticky, thread-like substance extruded from its mouth. This leaf is used by Sewaddle to hide from enemies or gets eaten when food is scarce, but its ability to make its own 'clothes' (or Leavanny does when it just hatches) makes it a popular mascot for fashion designers nonetheless. Sewaddle, then, is of course a combination of 'sew' and 'waddle' (the manner in which a baby walks) or 'swaddle' (to wrap a baby in cloth), with similar references in Sewaddle's Japanese and other foreign names. It shares characteristics with the larva stage of weaver ants, which are arboreal and are known for their unique nest-building behavior where workers construct nests by weaving together leaves using larval silk. However, this Pokémon appears to be based specifically on the caterpillar of the silver-spotted skipper (epargyreus clarus), as they fold leaves over themselves for shelter as they age and, when cocooning, produce silk to stick the leaves together and form its chrysalis.

So perhaps Swadloon is a little bit shy after all, huh?

Speaking of which, Sewaddle's cocoon-like evolution Swadloon definitely looks like its leaves are stuck to its body. A blanket or cloak of leaves is draped over its entire body except for its face, which Swadloon does to protect itself from the cold. It prefers dark and damp places and spends the entire day eating fallen leaves, which it uses to make nutrients that nourish the plant life in the forest. According to Bulbapedia, the appearance of Swadloon hiding in its blanket bears some resemblance to the stereotypical portrayal of people suffering from hikikomori syndrome (a term often used to refer to suddenly reclusive adolescents or adults who isolate themselves from social life in their homes for an extended period of time) in Japanese media, and its evolution into Leavanny being caused by friendship may be a lesson. However, nothing in Swadloon's Pokédex entries points to itn being such a loner, and it's definitely not the only Pokémon that evolves by friendship. Sure, it's based on a cocoon of some sort, but that's hardly a satisfying explanation for the so-called hikikomori origins Bulbapedia claims Swadloon has. Besides, its evolution Leavanny is a very nurturing and parental Pokémon that uses its arm cutters and a sticky silk it produces to create leafy clothing for small Pokémon, which is hardly a trait that can be attributed to people with an acute social anxiety disorder. What makes it more confusing is that Leavanny's Japanese name is actually Hahakomori (ハハコモリ), but komori means 'babysitting', something that is undeniably in Leavanny's nature to do. Additionally, its English name suggests that it was inspired by Levana, the ancient Roman goddess involved in rituals pertaining to childbirth. Go figure.

Amazing 3D art of Leavanny.

Leavanny itself looks a bit like an ant, which harks back to Sewaddle's possible weaver ant larva origins, although it's more likely that its design is derived from phylliidae, a family of not-so-little bugs that look like walking leaves and are more commonly known as leaf insects. Some sources suggest that Leavanny may be based on mantises, choeradodis in particular because of their laterally expanded thoraxes and abdomens, but true leaf insects actually fall under the order phasmatodea and are stick insects rather than mantises - the latter belong to the order mantodea, in fact, and are thus completely unrelated. However, Leavanny's primitive clothes-making skills and aesthetics ('dress', 'collar' and 'paned sleeves') point to it being designed after fashion in the early 1600s.

Leavanny doing some kind of ballet dance... or something.

However interesting Leavanny's origins may be, though, it is by far not a goddess in a competitive setting. It has mediocre HP and defenses, which makes it incredibly vulnerable, and its speed and attack stats don't actually make up for that entirely. Grass and bug are two of the worst offensive types in the arena and that means I don't recommend using it at all. But wait a minute, I said it was an excellent bug type to use, didn't I? Well, yeah, for in-game purposes it is actually an amazing Pokémon that can set up with Swords Dance and annihilate things with a base 103 attack stat and a moveset completed by Leaf Blade, X-Scissor and some kind of type coverage move; Steel Wing works well against fairy and ice types, the latter of which Leavanny is weak to, although Poison Jab isn't bad at all, either. Shadow Claw and Throat Chop are there as well, but both are primarily used against psychic types, and Leavanny has X-Scissor for that. Should you want to use this Pokémon in competitive despite my warnings, I'd recommend a Jolly nature to make this thing as fast as possible and the Swarm ability to make its bug-type moves hit even harder when it has less than 33% of its original HP left (ignore Overcoat and Chlorophyll, you won't need those abilities in the slightest). Let Leavanny hold a Focus Sash so that it can live a hit at full HP and pull a Sticky Web off (or perhaps even a Swarm-boosted X-Scissor after the Focus Sash is used). You should even teach Leavanny Knock Off aside from its STAB moves Leaf Blade and X-Scissor, so that it can get rid of opponent's annoying held items. Smogon even suggested some special sets involving Leaf Storm and Bug Buzz, among others, but Leavanny's base 70 special attack is abysmal in a competitive setting and there are much better special attackers out there. Galvantula, whom I have yet to review, is an excellent bug-type special attacker that can also set up Sticky Web, so I would advise you to just slap physical moves on Leavanny and be done with it.

Leavanny making clothes for its young with a sewing machine in the form of a
Mawile. I love this.

The first Unova bug type may not be the greatest in terms of competitive usage, but at least it's far better in-game than many bug types that preceded it. Leavanny is relatively strong and fast and has one of the most original designs (and origins) I have seen for a bug type so far. Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't that much more to say about this thing other than the fact that it completely deserves the high rating I'm gonna give it. In the end, Leavanny isn't one of my absolute favorites, but a rating of 4.5 stars is still nothing to sneeze at. Unfortunately, though, it is completely overshadowed by the other bug type that can be found in the interior of Pinwheel Forest...

Rating: 4.5/5

#532 - #534: Timburr, Gurdurr & Conkeldurr

In today's episode of 'Blatant Unova Rip-Offs of Kanto Pokémon': Machop, Machoke and Machamp 2.0, only with swelling veins visible all over the surface of their bodies. Yikes.

Timburr ready to attack while tightly holding on to its
squared log.

Conceptually, though, the Timburr family really couldn't differ any more from their Kanto counterparts. While Machop, Machoke and Machamp don't seem to be based on anything more than musclemen, Timburr and its evolutions Gurdurr and Conkeldurr are obviously supposed to be construction workers judging from the objects they're holding, although Machop is most commonly associated with construction sites in its respective region as well: surely you haven't forgotten the empty plot of land in the northeastern part of Vermilion City, where an old man's Machop is preparing it for construction of a building. Timburr - which is a corruption of 'timber' - is always carrying around a squared log with it, hence its name. This Pokémon shows up at building sites to help out with construction, but I can only imagine the wooden beam it is carrying tremendously hinders it in its work. Timburr carries bigger logs as it grows, and once it can handle the lumber without difficulty, it is close to evolving - although in reality, Timburr just evolves into Gurdurr at level 25. Gurdurr - which, similarly to Timburr's name, is a corruption of 'girder' - is known to usually carry an I-beam girder in its arms that it uses to train its muscles. It is so buff, in fact, that even a group of professional wrestlers attacking it won't be able to budge it. Like Timburr, it is found at construction sites, but its Pokédex entries mention it skillfully wielding steel beams to take down buildings rather than... well, construct them. For Pokémon that are supposed to help construct things, they're pretty destructive, although it could be argued that in this profession buildings are often taken down to make place for new ones.

Gurdurr as seen in the anime, briefly putting its I-beam girder aside. 

And then there's Conkeldurr, whose unamused look, troll face, dark-ringed eyes and gray goatee give it the look of an elder from some kind of fantasy game. It is holding two cracked concrete pillars that it uses to carry out a strong attack without the need to actually use physical strength, or as walking canes to support its massive upper body - and in my opinion, the veins up there kinda have the shape of a Macho Brace. It is thought that Conkeldurr taught humans how to make concrete more than 2,000 years ago, and rather than rely on force, it has mastered moves that utilize the centrifugal force of spinning concrete. While similar to Machamp when it comes to typing, gender ratio, base stat total, stat destribution (well... sort of) and evolution method (which is trading), Conkeldurr is actually so much more interesting than its Kanto counterpart, despite the fact that the latter literally has four arms. Not only does Conkeldurr's brutal humanoid appearance suggest inspiration from ogres from all kinds of mythology, folklore and fairy tales, it may also be based on a muscleman carny from a carnival sideshow due to its buff body and clown nose.

Conkeldurr breaking one of its concrete pillars as if it were a
toothpick. Not that it matters, as it is very proficient in making
concrete.

Even though Conkeldurr is reluctant to use physical strength, it does have it. Its base attack is its highest stat, at a whopping 140, followed by some pretty good base 105 HP and decent 95 and 65 defenses. While a base special defense stat of 65 isn't that high by normal standards, Conkeldurr is often used with an Assault Vest attached to it. This item raises Conkeldurr's special defense but limits it to using only offensive moves, which is exactly what this Pokémon should be doing in the first place. An Assault Vest makes Conkeldurr all-around defensive so that it can take a few hits on either side of the spectrum before it gets a chance to attack, because my God, this thing is slow. It also doesn't have a shortage of moves in its arsenal, either, having access to coverage moves like Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Earthquake, Poison Jab, Payback, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch and Knock Off. As for STAB attacks, Hammer Arm and Mach Punch are must-haves: the former lowers Conkeldurr's speed, but that doesn't matter because it's slow anyway (which reminds me to tell you to make sure that its nature is Adamant at all times), and the latter is a priority move with a base power of 40, often used to finish off worn-down opponents. Drain Punch is an awesome alternative to Hammer Arm, especially to keep Conkeldurr 'hydrated' throughout the battle, and goes exceptionally well with its hidden ability Iron First, which raises the power of punching moves - including Hammer Arm - by 20%.

However, the preferred ability for Conkeldurr is Guts, which raises its attack stat by 50% whenever it is affected by a non-volatile status condition (burn, poison and paralysis; sleep and freeze render it immobile). This makes Conkeldurr an unwanted target for moves like Will-O-Wisp, Thunder Wave and Toxic, but once a status condition like that is inflicted on it, it becomes a force to be reckoned with. You could even inflict the burn on Conkeldurr yourself and activate Guts by letting it hold a Flame Orb. Sheer Force isn't a bad ability either, as it removes secondary effects from moves like Rock Slide, Poison Jab and the elemental punches in exchange for 30% more power and works extremely well in combination with a Life Orb or a Choice Band. Guts is still the better ability, though.

According to this guy right here, Machamp and Conkeldurr are his "bruiser bros",
which is one of the best terms I have seen for Conkeldurr to date. 

Conkeldurr is essentially a better version of Machamp, even though the latter has a nice trick up its sleeve concerning the move Dynamic Punch and the ability No Guard. Overall, Conkeldurr is just slightly more defensive and displays a much higher versatility by having no fewer than three great possible abilities as well as an excellent move that keeps its HP in the green: Drain Punch, a fighting-type move that Machamp unortunately doesn't have access to at all - just like Mach Punch, for that matter. Conkeldurr is even more interesting design- and flavor-wise, deriving from ogres/trolls, carnival employees and construction workers, while Machamp only seems to be based on one of these WWE morons (I don't like any sport, but wrestling is extraordinarily stupid) judging by the briefs and belt it is wearing. Just note that I don't hate Machamp by any means - I mean, it has a solid 3.5-star rating on this blog - but I just think Conkeldurr is far superior.

Rating: 4.5/5

#531: Audino

Audino is a benevolent Pokémon, so it's not surprising these
Dedenne are feeling so at ease in its presence. 

Next on the list is the Pokémon that would replace Chansey as Nurse Joy's assistant in Pokémon Centers in Unova. Actually, ever since the Unova region Chansey has retired from being Nurse Joy's assistant altogether, as it's Wigglytuff aiding her in Kalos, while in Alola she's accompanied by Blissey and Comfey. It isn't suprising that a Pokémon like Audino was introduced in a generation that is often regarded as a reboot of the series, and as most older Pokémon didn't show up until the Adventures in Unova arc of the Pokémon anime (in the Black and White games, older Pokémon aren't available until post-game), Audino had to take over Chansey's role of assistant healer in Pokémon Centers. It's the perfect Pokémon for that, as the feelers on Audino's ears act like stethoscopes in that it can feel the beat of another Pokémon's heart in order to assess its mood and overall physical condition. Audino's auditory sense is so astounding, in fact, that it has the radar-like ability to understand its surroundings through slight sounds. Mega Audino even has a secondary pair of feelers with which it can put those who come in contact with them into a deep sleep, while it can release relaxing pulses that reduce hostility. Yup, you've read that correctly: Audino can Mega-evolve. It's the only Pokémon introduced in the fifth generation that is capable of Mega-evolving in the first place, and to this day I have absolutely no idea why. I don't think it needed a Mega evolution anyway, and you'll find my arguments for that in the paragraph about its competitive usage.

D'awww, look at this cutie!

Audino may be an excellent healer, but it fulfils no such role in the Gen. V games. You see, there's a phenomenon called rustling grass, and stepping into it may result in an encounter with a rare Pokémon. The only Pokémon in the rustling grass that isn't rare is Audino, appearing at least 80% of the time in pretty much all of Unova's tall grass. Because of its availability in rustling grass - which, by the way, can easily be triggered by walking back and forth nearby a patch of tall grass for a couple of seconds - as well as the absurdly high amount of experience points you can get from it, battling wild Audino is a fast way to level up your Pokémon when playing Black, White, Black 2 or White 2.

Audino is definitely a Pokémon that can be portrayed as
sickeningly kawaii, so I'll just tone it down for this blog and give
you this moderately cute piece of fan art of Audino with its
Trainer, Hilda.

It's weird that Audino is so easily available in the games, because Game Freak have always kept the Chansey line somewhat rare to obtain. Considering the abundance of Audino to be found all over the Unova region, you'd wonder what this thing is actually based on. Well, Bulbapedia suggests that it seems to be partially based on rabbits; and to be fair, those critters aren't very uncommon in real life, either. However, the similarities to rabbits are not very eminent in its design, and I think Game Freak went for a nurse/physician aesthetic more than anything. The stethoscope-like feelers on Audino's ears also bring to mind a butterfly's antennae - or proboscis - and the ears themselves kind of resemble butterfly wings, which may mean it is based on some depiction of a fairy. As regular Audino, a pure normal type, gains the fairy typing upon Mega-evolving, this theory isn't too farfetched. As for Audino's names across the world, they all contain a pun of some sort. Its Japanese name Tabunne
(タブンネ) is a direct play on tabun ne, meaning 'maybe', as well as tabun ('many are heard') and mimitabu ('earlobe'). In Korean, its name sounds quite similar to its Japanese one: Dabunie (다부니) is a corruption of dabunhi, meaning 'quite'. Audino is of course derived from 'audio', but Game Freak have managed to capture the meaning of the Japanese pun quite well with a pun on the phrase 'I dunno.' Its French name Nanméouïe contains ouïe ('hearing') and is phonetically similar to non mais oui ('no but yes'), but I don't think the latter is a phrase that is used very often in spoken word. By all means, correct me if I'm wrong by leaving a comment below. Finally, Audino's German name Ohrdoch is a pun on oh, doch, which means as much as 'oh, yes, actually', but is also heavily inspired by Ohr ('ear') and Doktor (I don't have to explain what that word means, do I?).

The only name I can't quite wrap my head around is Audino's Chinese name Chàbùduōwáwá (差不多娃娃). I mean, chàbùduō means 'almost' or 'more or less' and wáwá means 'doll', but does that mean that they think Audino is more or less a doll? Maybe Audino is a doll in the metaphorical sense of the word - it is often used in English as a synonym for a nice and kind person; a sweetheart, if you will - but I'm not so sure the word 'doll' has the same metaphorical meaning in the Chinese language as it does in English. I don't quite understand, and I have a feeling I'm not supposed to.

Mega Audino. It appears to be wearing some kind of coat and
boots, which indicates that it may have a resemblance to the
Sweet Lolita fashion style, especially color-wise (white and pink).

And then there's Audino's competitive abilities, which are... subpar. Regular Audino resides in Smogon's lowest tier, PU, because its base stat total of 445 renders it pretty much useless in any competitive battle. With base 103 HP and 86 defenses, Audino tries to be bulky, but it doesn't quite succeed in that. It can take a few hits, sure, and the Wish/Protect combo is as good a strategy as any to make Audino last a little longer on the battlefield, but it simply doesn't cut it. Its terrible offensive stats don't really help either, because they make Audino rely on Toxic for damage. No, you'll need the Audinite, the Mega Stone that allows Audino to Mega-evolve and become... well, not stronger. Bulkier, for sure. Mega Audino does get a slight boost in its special attack, which actually allows you to run a Calm Mind set with Dazzling Gleam, but don't expect to hit too hard, especially since you need a Calm or Bold nature to make Mega Audino as bulky as possible. Wish and Protect are still required, especially since you'll have to wait until the right time to Mega-evolve Audino anyway, because regular Audino has the ability Regenerator: every time a Pokémon with this ability is switched out, it regains a third of its maximum HP. Therefore, I'd recommend not going for Calm Mind at all, but slapping on either Toxic or Heal Bell; Dazzling Gleam is a STAB fairy-type move and hits moderately hard in the first place, so Toxic can provide some excellent residual damage, while Heal Bell lets Audino heal all of your Pokémon's status conditions in one turn. The downside to Mega Audino is that it doesn't get Regenerator as its ability and is, unfortunately, stuck with Healer, an ability that only works in Double Battles. And if there's one thing about Pokémon that I don't know jack shit about, it's competitive Double Battles, so... yeah.

Beautiful, painting-style art of Mega Audino.

Audino has access to a slew of coverage moves many a Pokémon would be jealous of: Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Psychic, Psyshock, Wild Charge, Surf, Signal Beam, the elemental punches, Drain Punch, Iron Tail, Knock Off, Throat Chop, Stomping Tantrum, Zen Headbutt... and I don't think that's all yet. These are all moves that Audino isn't going to use, especially not the physical ones; special coverage moves should only be given to Audino when you think it's absolutely necessary, while Knock Off should be given to a Pokémon that can make much better use of it.

Audino does have a lot of support moves to choose from. Rest and Sleep Talk could replace Wish and Protect, but they're more difficult to pull off and should only be used on a Pokémon that doesn't have access to Wish. Magic Coat bounces back status moves to the user, which can come in handy whenever you see a Taunt coming - or annoying status-inflicting moves like Toxic and entry hazards like Stealth Rock and Spikes, just to name a few. Snatch allows Audino to steal an opponent's beneficial status move, but that might not turn out too beneficial for Audino, even though it temporarily hinders the opponent. Encore locks the opponent into the move it last used, while Trick Room is a weird move that allows slower Pokémon to move first as long as the move is in effect. Skill Swap could be used to let Mega Audino swap abilities with the opponent, which means you'll be able to get rid of Healer, at least. Healing Wish makes Audino faint but fully heals the Pokémon that is switched in after it, status condition and all. Then there's moves like Thunder Wave and Yawn, but Toxic is generally better. Substitute isn't misplaced on a bulky Pokémon like Audino at all, and you could even give it Light Screen and Reflect and make your whole team a bit bulkier overall.

Mega Audino and its cute little babies. 

I like Audino, and a lot more than Chansey, too. The whole healer thing has been done before with Chansey and Blissey, but Audino's doctor aesthetics give it a little bit of much-needed personality and flavor. Of course, Audino - or even Mega Audino - has nothing on Blissey, who is far and away the best special wall in the entire game, even though Audino can take physical blows just as well as special ones, which Blissey can't. In the end, I am drawn more toward Audino's design and flavor than Chansey and Blissey's superior competitive utility.

Rating: 4.5/5

#519 - #521: Pidove, Tranquill & Unfezant

Ah, yes, the obligatory early-game bird. How could I have forgotten that?

Right, because I waited two months until posting shit again...

Official art of Pidove, because there is literally no way to make
an ordinary street pigeon any less boring.

First off, Pidove is obviously based on those annoying feral pigeons you see in basically every big city throughout the world, not on a dove. Its heart-shaped chest could prove I'm wrong, but Pidove is gray and doves as we are all familiar with are usually white in color. Also, Pidove's flavor points to it being an ordinary city pigeon anyway, as it is accustomed to people and loud flocks of them are often found in city parks and plazas. I'm going to assume that Pidove is considered a pest, like real-world city pigeons, which are even labeled an invasive species in North America by the USDA. Pidove isn't particularly intelligent and often fails to understand its Trainer's commands - in fact, the new game Detective Pikachu portrays Pidove as so forgetful that it doesn't even remember its own name. Its evolution Tranquill, on the other hand, is always able to return to its Trainer regardless of the distance separating them. It is therefore based on homing pidgeons, a variety of domestic pigeon selectively bred for its ability to find its way home over extremely long distances. Many people believe that Tranquill lives in deep forests, where there is a peaceful place without conflict, which means that it may indeed draw inspiration from doves - because, as we all know, these birds are commonly used as a symbol of peace. Additionally, some of the works of Japanese poet and author of children's literature Kenji Miyazawa mention a fictional utopia called Īhatōbu (based on the Iwate Prefecture in Japan and often anglicized to 'Ihatov'), which is reflected in Tranquill's Japanese name Hatoboh
(ハトーボー) and its alleged war-free habitat.

Ash's Tranquill in the anime.

But even though Tranquill's design and color scheme are similar to that of a secretary bird, it can be seen as having pigeon-like features. Its final form Unfezant doesn't even look much like a pigeon anymore, but more like its namesake the pheasant. In fact, Unfezant seems to be one of these extreme cases of sexual dimorphism in Pokémon (the first being Hippopotas and Hippowdon), which also commonly occurs in birds, including pheasants: male pheasants are very colorful and quite beautiful, while female pheasants are paler and seem to be built to better camouflage themselves. More specifically, Unfezant may have drawn its inspiration from the green pheasants native to the Japanese archipelago, known for their dark green plumage and relatively large red wattles, not unlike male Unfezant - whose reddish pink wattle looks more like a mask. The females of this species are more brownish in color, just like female Unfezant, and lack the big wattles and vibrant colors the males are known for.

Flavor-wise, Unfezant doesn't seem to have anything interesting to say about. Males swing the ribbon-like appendages on its wattle to threaten its opponents, while females seem to be more adept at flying, which... Seriously, that's it? There's not even an explanation as to why this Pokémon's name contains a play on 'unpleasant'? There's literally nothing that indicates these birds are unpleasant aside from its classification as the 'Proud Pokémon', indicating they might act irritatingly haughty, but I'm pretty sure Piplup, Prinplup and Empoleon out-snob Unfezant in a competition.

Female Unfezant (up) and male Unfezant (down) probably
performing some kind of mating ritual. 

At the same time, Unfezant is easily outclassed in the competitive metagame by basically 95% of all final evolutions in the Pokémon franchise. It may have base 115 attack and 93 speed, but its mediocre defenses and shallow movepool keep it from being useful in competitive at all. Even worse, Unfezant gets Super Luck, an ability that increases its chance of getting a critical hit when all-out attacking, which stacks up nicely with two moves it learns that have a higher critical hit ratio: Air Cutter and Night Slash. Sounds nice and all, but unfortunately Air Cutter is a special move and Unfezant's base 65 special attack doesn't allow it to make good use of Air Cutter, while Night Slash is a dark-type move and doesn't even provide STAB. It's a shame Unfezant doesn't get regular Slash, which would have complemented its normal typing and physical offensive presence, but it doesn't seem like Unfezant gets anything noteworthy. It's decent for in-game purposes, as Return and Fly hit quite hard and Steel Wing provides excellent coverage against rock and ice types, but I would just recommend Swellow or Staraptor if you're looking for an offensive competitive bird. I mean, do you really want to resort to a Flyinium-Z-boosted Aerial Ace, or the inaccurate Hypnosis? A one-turn Sky Attack boosted by a Power Herb, perhaps? Trust me, Archeops - also native to Unova - can make much better use of that due to its higher attack and speed. Also, there are much better U-Turn users than Unfezant here. The only viable option at this point is to slap a Scope Lens on it to increase its critical hit ratio even further and hope for a miracle to happen.

Ugh, Unfezant, why must you be so bad?

A male Unfezant in the anime. It isn't Ash's, because Ash's Unfezant is female.

I think it's a shame that Unfezant is such a terrible Pokémon, because I absolutely love male Unfezant's design. And yes, I know I said it's decent for in-game use, but it's movepool is just so... lacking. I've always been hesitant about using it in a playthrough, and I probably would have used it already if it had been a little bit more diverse. As a result of its terribleness, Unfezant has become such an unpopular bird that there is hardly any fan art to be found of it on the Internet and I was pretty much forced to use official images and anime stills for this review more often than not. Despite that, I am willing to give Unfezant the benefit of the doubt because of its design and give it 4.5 stars rather than 4.

Rating: 4.5/5

#494: Victini

Victini about to blast off a Fusion Flare. This move
usually cannot be learned by Victini, as it's the
signature move of Reshiram, which is why Game
Freak made it an event-only move.

It feels strange ending the fourth generation on such a negative note, but even stranger is the fact that we're starting off Gen. V - my personal favorite generation in terms of Pokémon, gameplay features and storyline - with a mythical Pokémon instead of the usual grass-type starter. Like all so-called 'pixie' Pokémon, Victini is supposed to be cute and iconic, and I think Game Freak have done a fine job at that. The way Victini is implemented into the game comes across as quite odd, however. It could actually be obtained very early on in the main storyline through an event, by simply claiming the Liberty Pass that allows you to travel to Liberty Garden upon arriving in Castelia City and catch Victini hiding in the lighthouse standing smack-dab in middle of the island. It was at level 15, which should have been a couple of levels below the player's Pokémon and therefore it was perfectly viable to add to any in-game team. Of course, as Victini is a legendary it couldn't just incautiously be added among the peasant Unova Pokémon, which is why it got number 000 in the regional Pokédex and thus comes before Snivy, Servine and Serperior. It really doesn't make sense for Victini to come first in the Unova Pokédex, though; Pokémon Black and White saw the first time in which only the 150 normally available debuting Pokémon could be used throughout the main storyline, as Landorus and Kyurem weren't available until post-game and the other four - including Victini - are event Pokémon, and Victini could have easily been put somewhere at the end of the Dex. No biggie. But here I am, reviewing this Pokémon while I really wanted to be done with all these legendaries for a good while, especially after the disappointment that is Arceus.

A whole horde of Victini enjoying a full basket of macarons.
I don't know where the hell they got those from, but our local
supermarket here in the Netherlands asks €5,- for just ten or
twelve of these tiny motherfuckers. They're like the caviar of
confectionery, goddamn.

Unlike Arceus, though, Junichi Masuda's favorite Pokémon seems to be a bit more straightforward when it comes to its design and origins. Aesthetically, it seems to be based on usagi-ringo, a method of cutting apple slices to make them look similar to rabbits, while conceptually it might draw inspiration from the Greek winged goddess Nike and its Roman equivalent Victoria, both representing victory. I am not surprised Victini draws inspiration from these particular goddesses; it is a legendary, it is classified as the 'Victory Pokémon', it has a unique ability called Victory Star - which increases the accuracy of moves used by the user and its allies by 10% of their original accuracy - and it even possesses two wing-like tails that allow it to fly. Its pointed ears form the letter V, which might very well be a reference to the generation it was introduced in as well. Victini is usually a timid and caring Pokémon, although it will fight if its friends are in danger. Additionally, it is said to bring victory to Trainers that befriend it, producing an infinite amount of energy within itself and sharing this energy with others by touch. It can even become invisible, as demonstrated in Pokémon the Movie: White - Victini and Zekrom and Pokémon the Movie: Black - Victini and Reshiram. These two movies follow a similar plot with some major and minor changes, notably the Pokémon that appear and Resiram and Zekrom swapping roles as the main focus of the film.

Black and White promotional art for the Victini you
can catch in the lighthouse in Liberty Garden. 

When it comes to competitive play, Victini is one of the better mythical Pokémon to use on an offensive team. Like all other 'pixie' Pokémon it has base 100 stats across the board, which allows you to go several different ways with it, although it has to be said that an offensive approach is very much recommended. The reason I'm saying that is because Victini has a crazy powerful move in its arsenal: V-create. This event-exclusive fire-type move has a base power of 180, which makes it the third most powerful move in the game after Self-Destruct and Explosion. It does have the negative effect of lowering the user's defense, special defense and speed stats, but this could easily be solved by giving Victini a White Herb to hold or by simply switching it out for another Pokémon on your team. V-create is a must-have STAB move on a physical-based Victini, as is Zen Headbutt, and a Jolly or Adamant nature allows it to make great use of a Choice Band or Choice Scarf, respectively. Some neat physical coverage moves are Brick Break, Bolt Strike/Fusion Bolt (both are event-exclusive), Thunder Punch and U-Turn, but that's pretty much all Victini has to work with. Victini's special attack is as good as its attack, and its special movepool is honestly so much better, with STAB moves like Searing Shot, Fire Blast, Psychic, Psyshock and Blue Flare/Fusion Flare (again, both are event-only moves) and amazing coverage in Thunder, Thunderbolt, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and even Glaciate (also event-exclusive). Special sets would have been much more prevalent in competitive if it weren't for V-create, but they're not terrible by any means and work well with a Modest or Timid nature in combination with the Choice items I mentioned before. A Life Orb can be used as well, on either a physical- or special-based moveset, and is recommended over a Choice item should you go with a mixed Victini instead.

Lastly, Smogon mentions a Timid set with the move Celebrate. Normally, this move doesn't do anything in battle - deal damage, boost stats, hinder the opponent, etc. - but powered up with Normalium Z it boosts all of Victini's stats by one stage each. This allows Victini to use Stored Power afterwards, a 20-power move that increases by 20 for each positive stat change the user has in any stat, doing a considerable 120 power after a Z-Celebrate boost. It's a little gimmicky and requires impeccable timing during a match, but if you can make this set work... well, more power to you. I would advise you to just go with one of the sets I mentioned earlier, though.

TCG art of Victini.

I like Victini well enough, but I've honestly never used it during a playthrough, really. Even stupid 20-year-old me couldn't figure out how to connect to the Internet with my Nintendo DS Lite - luckily I could around the time X and Y came out - and so I wasn't able to obtain Victini in the first place. While I haven't been able to warm up to it by carrying it around in my team, I must say that factors like its design, cuteness, flavor and competitive utility still made me give it 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#491: Darkrai

Darkrai is such a creepy Pokémon, which in turn makes it very
popular. I had no difficulty finding some awesome fan art of it.

Out of all 807 Pokémon, who else feels like Darkrai is kind of the odd one out? While Absol is often chastised for being the bringer of natural disasters even though it only wants to warn people of impending danger, Darkrai is known to 'inhabit' dreams and causes its victims to have never-ending nightmares that can be stopped instantly with Cresselia's Lunar Wing. Like its ability to turn into a shadow and escape danger or contact with humans, its nightmare-causing ability is actually a defense mechanism rather than an intentionally malicious act. As shown in the 52nd and last episode of the 11th season of the Pokémon anime, "Sleepless in Pre-Battle!", Darkrai doesn't only cause nightmares; it is also attracted to the nightmares the people of Canalave City were having due to Team Rocket's nightmare machine, which they had built to scam people into buying their fake Lunar Wings. That this Pokémon fails to be understood by humans is demonstrated once more in the movie Pokémon: The Rise of Darkrai, in which the people of Alamos Town are plagued by terrible nightmares and damage to property. A dashing but arrogant douchebag of noble descent called Alberto - whom I immediately disliked upon seeing the movie, not in the least because he has a goddamn Lickilicky - doesn't hesitate to put the blame on Darkrai, until a scientist fellow named Tonio proves it is in fact a disturbance in the space-time continuum caused by a fight between Palkia and Dialga. Eventually, after being chased and attacked by Alberto on multiple occasions, Darkrai manages to hold off Dialga and Palkia from destroying Alamos Time, giving Ash and Dawn some time to put an ancient music disk with a song called Oración in the Space-Time Tower music player so as to calm down the two brawling Pokémon.

I didn't lie when I said I had no problems finding terrific Darkrai fan art on the
Internet. This piece really makes you believe this Pokémon is pure evil and I think
it's absolutely fantastic! 

While stories in the movies and TV show always have a happy ending - i.e. the people actually coming to understand and respect the misunderstood Pokémon - Darkrai will always bear the stigma of being a Pokémon that actually causes pain and discomfort. There is a part in the Diamond and Pearl post-game that includes finding a Lunar Wing for a Sailor's son, who is having bad dreams and constantly mumbles "Dar... Dark... is watching me" in his sleep, indicating Darkrai is causing his nightmares. In the Pokédex it is even portrayed as evil, as its Diamond and Pearl entries state that on moonless nights (nights of the new moon) it will lure people to sleep and unleash horrific nightmares on them. It's only a legend, but Darkrai chasing people and Pokémon from its territory by causing them to experience deep, nightmarish slumbers really doesn't improve its bad rap. How do you chase someone away by letting them experience nightmares, anyway? I'm sure sleeping people don't move, barring the occasional sleepwalker here and there.

Again, amazing drawings of Darkrai, this time by the same artist.

In any case, these abilities that Darkrai doesn't want to use to do harm but uses anyway are detrimental to its reputation. The question is how this reputation came to be. I mean, what is it protecting itself from exactly? Humanity? As it is drawn to nightmares, I am inclined to believe this isn't the case at all. It may mean no harm, but its Bad Dreams ability takes away ⅛ of opposing Pokémon's health in battle when they're asleep and indicates that the nightmares it causes are in fact harmful. Does Darkrai like the nightmares people have, or are they essential for it in order to stay alive? Does it feed on them? Questions, questions, questions...

Regarding Darkrai's aesthetics and flavor, it is probably based on the Oneiroi - or Ὄνειροι - which are various gods and demigods in Greek mythology that ruled over dreams, nightmares and oneiromantic symbols (oneiromancy is a form of divination based upon dreams; it is a system of dream interpretation that uses dreams to predict the future), specifically Phobetor. Phobetor is the personification of nightmares and appeared in dreams in the form of animals or monsters, which is exactly what Darkrai reminds me of, although it cannot have eluded anyone that shadows and jinn (genies) lie at the basis of Darkrai's design.

More awesome Darkrai fan art. 

Though Darkrai may be the king of darkness and nightmares, it is by far not the king of the Uber tier anymore. Sun and Moon saw the nerf of Darkrai's signature move Dark Void, which had an 80% chance of putting a foe to sleep (both foes in a Double Battle) but now only has a terrible 50% chance of doing so. This has caused some players to resort to Hypnosis - which has a 60% of putting a foe to sleep and is therefore only slightly better than Dark Void now - in order to activate Bad Dreams instead. I understand why Game Freak have decided to nerf Dark Void; Darkrai is a mythical Pokémon with a base stat total of 600 and isn't actually banned in Sun and Moon's Battle Spot, so Dark Void in combination with the ability Bad Dreams would have been way too overpowered. Fortunately there's still a solid Nasty Plot set to work with, and with base 135 special attack and 125 speed Darkrai is the perfect candidate to pull that off. A set consisting of Nasty Plot and three strong attacking moves - STAB Dark Pulse and two coverage moves such as Ice Beam, Focus Blast, Sludge Bomb, Psyhic and Thunderbolt - is backed by a Timid nature and a Life Orb or Darkinium Z as a held item, just because the Leftovers won't accomplish much on a relatively non-defensive Pokémon like Darkrai. Base 70 HP and base 90 defenses are nothing to sneeze at, sure, but for Uber-tier standards it's actually quite frail and I think you'll just want to add some extra oomph to Darkrai's attacks, anyway.

TCG promotional art for Darkrai.

Look, I know I said in Cresselia's entry that Darkrai's design is weird and that I'm not particularly fond of Pokémon that tend to be portrayed as purely evil, but the more I come to know about this thing, the more I'm starting to think that it's actually quite an intriguing Pokémon. Even though it looks like a pretty evil creature, it is just a protective Pokémon and doesn't seem to want to do anyone harm. It's even regarded as a hero in The Rise of Darkrai after helping stop the destructive fight between Dialga and Palkia. There are still certain elements in its design that don't make a whole lot of sense to me, including the red collar-like growth around its neck (honestly, it looks like a gaping mouth full of teeth with a hairy eye protruding from it), but Darkrai is supposed to be a nightmarish creature, so maybe some parts of its design aren't supposed to make sense in the first place.

People, me giving 4.5 stars to a Pokémon I didn't even think was anything special is exactly the reason why I started this blog.

Rating: 4.5/5

#482: Azelf

I don't know about you, but I think Azelf is pretty cute.

Azelf looks like the default design the other Lake Guardians were drawn from, but at the same time its cyan face and its minimalistic design - along with its cuteness and competitive prowess - make it the most memorable of the three. It was also the first and only Lake Guardian I captured and used on my team along with Dialga (yeah, I have no problem with using legendaries on my in-game teams), and I was honestly impressed by its strength. This is no surprise, as this azure elf is actually known as 'the Being of Willpower' and is said to have given humans the determination to do things, keeping the world in balance from the bottom of Lake Valor. Some say that whoever harms or injures it will become unable to perform any kind of action after seven days, losing all will inside of them and staying completely immobile for all eternity. Unsurprisingly, Azelf is based on the last of the Imperial Regalia of Japan, the Kusanagi no Tsurugi, which is a sword that represents the primary virtue of valor. Its Japanese name Agnome (アグノム) seems to contradict that, as it is probably derived from 'agnosticism', which is from the Greek word for 'knowledge', gnôsis (γνῶσις); and as we've all found out, that is Uxie's thing. Azelf's Japanese name also suggests it's a gnome, but that isn't surprising in the least, as Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf's English names are plays on 'pixie', 'sprite' and 'elf', respectively. There are a lot of tiny folkloric creatures to base a Pokémon on, such as fairies, gnomes and leprechauns and the like, so at least Game Freak wouldn't have run out of ideas in that regard.

Look at Azelf adorably holding onto its Life Orb!

As I mentioned before, Azelf is best known for its glass-cannon function in competitive play. It boasts some amazing base 125 attack and special attack as well as an excellent base 115 speed stat, making it faster and stronger than both Uxie and Mesprit by a significant margin. It is quite frail, though, and as a result it is barely able to take a hit. Fortunately, you can turn Azelf's speed and power to your advantage by giving it a Choice Scarf, so that it gets an immediate speed boost once it's switched in. Give it a Modest nature (rather than a Timid one, mind you), which allows you to max out its special attack and teach it a full moveset of crazy powerful special moves. With moves like Psychic, Psyshock, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Energy Ball and Signal Beam you are spoiled for choice. Alternatively, a moveset accompanied by a Timid nature and the Choice Specs isn't a terrible option, either. One move Azelf has access to and the other Lake Guardians don't learn - at least not to my knowledge - is Nasty Plot, a move that raises Azelf's special attack by a whopping two stages every time it's used. Teach it this move and you can run a Timid nature and a Life Orb. Azelf's speed even makes it a decent suicide lead, which mostly means it's running a support moveset consisting of Stealth Rock, Taunt, Knock Off and Explosion - the last of which is mainly used when you don't need Azelf anymore and sacrifice it by letting it blow up in your opponent's face. When using a support set on Azelf like that, people run a Jolly nature on it most of the time so that its attack stat isn't hindered, while a Focus Sash prevents Azelf from getting OHKOed by a strong offensive move - if Azelf is still at full HP, that is.

3D art of Azelf.

Even though letting Azelf serve as a suicide lead is a waste of its potential in my opinion, it does show how versatile this adorable little shit can be. It is by far my favorite of the Lake Guardians, that's for sure, only because the simplicity of its design makes it the cutest and most aesthetically pleasing of the three. To me, it is the most memorable and the most competitively viable, which is why I am giving it a near-perfect rating of 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#459 - #460: Snover & Abomasnow

Somehow I managed to take it upon myself to listen to every goddamn Eurovision song in existence during the past two and a half months. The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual song competition watched by more than 200 million people in Europe every year and has been around uninterrupted since 1956, with now over 1500 different entries, so it took a long time before I was done checking them all out. It totally explains my long absence from this blog, so I would like to apologize for that while I'm at it. But now I'm back, bitches! It's been a while since I posted a review - New Year's Eve, to be precise - so I wonder if I've still got it in me. Let's start where we left off, shall we?

Snover as depicted in TCG.

Today's topic is Snover, a cute little snow-covered tree Pokémon that is basically nothing more than a walking fir tree topped with a layer of snow. While its brown lower body resembles a pinecone of some sort, Snover is more likely to be the illegitimate love child of the Yeti and an evergreen tree. Sure enough, Snover live mainly on snowy mountains with little human contact, but they move to the lower reaches when the weather turns cold (Jesus fucking Christ, Snover, are you an ice-type Pokémon or what?) and returning to the summit in the spring, when it grows edible white berries with the texture of frozen treats along its midsection for some indiscernible reason. They are boldly inquisitive when it comes to humans, approaching them without fear and gathering around footsteps they find in the mountains. It's all very cute - even its 'hat' resembling three mountain peaks, which is a nice little touch - but Snover isn't nearly as fascinating as its evolution, as is the case with many basic-form Pokémon.

Abomasnow whipping up a blizzard. 

Abomasnow, whose name is an obvious play on the Abominable Snowman (a.k.a. the Yeti of Nepalese folklore), is where things start to get really interesting. This monstrosity is basically still a big walking tree, but the mustache-like appendages that cover its mouth remind me of Cthulhu, which is a classic creature within the pantheon of Lovecraftian cosmic entities for being a gigantic octopus worshipped by cultists. It gives Abomasnow kind of a creepy appearance, that's for sure. Like its pre-evolution Snover, Abomasnow prefers snowy mountains to live in and appears only when snow flowers bloom. Once the flowers wither, it retreats to isolated areas, where it creates blizzards to hide itself from humans, even creating the legend of the Abominable Snowman within the Pokémon universe this way. The most interesting part about this is that Abomasnow is based on a certain phenomenon called juhyou, in which harsh winters in the northern prefectures in Japan cause landscapes to become white and ghostly and the trees to get completely covered in ice. It's an eldritch but stunning sight, and as the phenomenon only occurs in Japan, I have no doubt juhyou (literally 'frost-covered trees') were the main inspiration for Abomasnow's design.

Abomasnow is also the only name that is a play on the common term for a folkloric creature, as all of its foreign names suggest it has royal blood in some way. Its Japanese name Yukinooh (ユキノオー) literally means 'snow king' (yuki no ō); in its French and German names of Blizzaroi and Rexblisar, respectively, roi and rex both mean 'king', with roi being French and rex being Latin; and its Korean and Mandarin Chinese names of Nunseolwang (눈설왕) and Bàoxuěwáng (暴雪王) both contain the word wang, which of course means 'king' as well.

You'll see the actual Mega Abomasnow in a minute, but I wanted
to include this amazing piece of realistic fan art here for the sole
reason that it is outright terrifying. 

However, Abomasnow is all but a king in competitive play. Even when the sprouts on its back grow into huge-ass icicles as Mega Abomasnow, this Pokémon is nothing short of underwhelming. This is partly due to Abomasnow's terrible typing, as its grass/ice typing gives it weaknesses to no fewer than seven different types, one of them being a quadruple one to fire. Even its solid bulk (base 90 HP as well as base 105 defense and special defense) won't make it live a Fire Blast or a Flare Blitz, and there are a lot of people that have at least one fire-type coverage move on one of their competitive Pokémon, because fire is such a great offensive typing and resists all of Abomasnow's STAB moves. Mega Abomasnow is also excruciatingly slow as its back now has to support enormous shafts of ice, and I can only assume it has taken a hunched posture in order for its back to carry the weight of these icicles. It's not a terrible Pokémon to use, however, and a Brave or Quiet nature allows it to attack on both sides of the spectrum. With both physical and special STAB moves like Blizzard (100% accurate due to its ability Snow Warning summoning a hailstorm in battle), Wood Hammer, Giga Drain, Ice Shard (always hits first unless countered with another priority move or cancelled due to certain moves or abilities), Ice Beam, Energy Ball, Ice Punch, Seed Bomb and Avalanche (does double damage when acting last, but that's a plus with Mega Abomasnow's abominable speed star), you can expect this Pokémon to hit very hard. All moves vary in power and effect and could be tremendously useful, so pick whatever suits your needs. You could even opt to throw a few coverage moves like Focus Blast, Iron Tail, Earthquake, Outrage, Rock Slide, Shadow Ball and Brick Break into the mix or give its Swords Dance to give a boost to its attack. This here variety is why Abomasnow's Mega form is often used as a mixed attacker.

As for regular Abomasnow, I would not recommend using it whatsoever. It is significantly less bulky and offensive while it is only slightly faster, and it'll go down quicker than you can say "Motherfucker!" Yes, it has Soundproof, which nullifies all sound-based moves used on it, but it really doesn't matter if you're going to use Mega Abomasnow anyway.

The 'real' Mega Abomasnow.

Abomasnow is certainly an interesting Pokémon, and I have to admit that I quite disliked it when it was first introduced to us: it looked weird and creepy and it made me slightly uncomfortable. I have come to like this thing, however, even though it left me quite underwhelmed during the one time that I used it and its Mega in an X or Y playthrough. Its origins are interesting, however, and its Mega is a significant improvement compared to its original design, as it now looks like a terrifying, shaggy fur monster you don't want to encounter in the wild. It won't get a perfect rating by any means, probably not even in the future, but 4.5 stars ain't bad.

And we're off to a good start, aren't we? Just you wait until I'll be reviewing the next Pokémon on the list.

Rating: 4.5/5