#438, #185: Bonsly & Sudowoodo

I think Bonsly looks stupid, but this realistic 3D art looks even
better than the actual cartoon version. 

Sigh. I don't want to talk about Bonsly. I think it is stupid and unnecessary and basically just a rip-off of its evolution, as I think most baby Pokémon are. All it does is being a downright attention whore by continuously creating fake tears. Okay, it does so because it needs to adjust its body's fluid and moisture levels, but I don't fucking care; this phony bonsai tree can go to hell for all I care. No, I'm much more interested in Sudowoodo, the Pokémon that blocked the road to Ecruteak City in Gold and Silver (and their remakes). You had to beat Whitney and her terrifying Miltank first before you could get a SquirtBottle (or a Wailmer Pail in HeartGold and SoulSilver) from the lady in the Goldenrod flower shop in order to spray water all over Sudowoodo to make it attack you. As Sudowoodo is a static Pokémon and doesn't appear anywhere else in the games, many people tried to catch it at first, until they realized Sudowoodo isn't all that great after all. Of course, I was the exception to the rule, because I started using it in my HeartGold playthrough and it turned out to be quite the strong and diverse Pokémon. Very satisfactory, even better than the other Pokémon on my team. Then again, one of them was a Fearow, and it's generally not hard to outclass mediocre Pokémon like that when you're a slightly better mediocre Pokémon yourself.

Look at Sudowoodo being a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. 

One thing that bothers me is that so many people complain that Sudowoodo is not part grass. I mean, WHY would it be a grass-type Pokémon? Sudowoodo is nothing but a phoney trying to fool others with its appearance. It is based on petrified wood, plants that have become fossilized over time, and therefore its composition is closer to a rock than a plant. It likes to disguise itself as a tree and stand along paths to avoid being attacked, although its camouflage fails in wintertime because its fingertips remain green at all times. Sudowoodo is basically a fake tree, which becomes clear in X and Y, in which it can be found in a horde battle alongside four Trevenant. That's genius, Game Freak. This tree disguise thing can also be found in the names it has received from Game Freak across the globe:

English: Sudowoodo is a combination of pseudo- (a prefix meaning 'false') and 'wood'. Aditionally, Bonsly is derived from 'bonsai' and 'sly' or 'lie'.

Japanese: Usokkie (ウソッキー) is derived from uso, ki and usotsuki, meaning 'false', 'tree' and 'liar', respectively. Additionally, Usohachi (ウソハチ) contains the Japanese word for flower pot, hachi. And let's face it, Bonsly does look like a terracotta plant pot. It even has a hole in its rear to boot.

French: Simularbre is a combination of simuler and arbre, the latter of which means 'tree'. Surely I don't have to explain to you guys what simuler means, right?

German: Mogelbaum is a conjunction of mogeln and Baum (the Germans have a tendency to capitalize their nouns), which mean 'to cheat' and 'tree', respectively. Additionally, Bonsly's German name is Mobai.

Korean: Kkojimo (꼬지모) is a combination of keojit or geojit, meaning 'lie' or 'falsehood', and the Korean word for 'tree', mok. Aditionally, the Korean name for Bonsly is Kkojiji
(꼬지지).

Brock licking Sudowoodo, because he likes being weird. I guess
it's effective, because Sudowoodo hates water (and wet things in
general). This scene is from "Type Casting"; season 4, episode 5.

Still think Sudowoodo should be a grass type? I don't - never have, in fact. Sudowoodo is supposed to be a rock thing pretending to be a tree, but it's not an actual tree in the slightest, so it would have made no sense at all if Game Freak had given it the grass type. It would have helped boost Wood Hammer, but that is a strong physical grass-type move in itself, anyway. And with the ability Rock Head, Sudowoodo wouldn't even have to take recoil damage from it, so it can hit the opponent without damaging itself. Sturdy is handy as well, but this ability would only come in handy when you want to guarantee that Stealth Rock will be set up. Don't even look at Rattled, because that is a dumb ability. It raises Sudowoodo's speed by one stage when it is hit by a bug-, dark- or ghost-type move, but its speed is already quite abhorrent, so it doesn't need Rattled. Fortunately, it is very physically defensive, so if you watch out for special attackers you can run a Life Orb or Choice Band set with Rock Slide (or Stone Edge, but that move is less accurate), Wood Hammer, Earthquake and Hammer Arm. It also learns Sucker Punch to catch opponents by surprise, while the elemental punches might be feasible options as well. Just be aware that Rock Head doesn't prevent recoil from the Life Orb, only from regular moves like Double-Edge.

Sudowoodo has always been an intriguing Pokémon to me, although it is not a particularly good Pokémon. Nonetheless, I like it a lot, even though it's such a shame Game Freak had to give it a stupid pre-evolution.

Rating: 4.5/5

#175 - #176, #468: Togepi, Togetic & Togekiss

There is so much adorable Togepi fan art to be found on the
Internet that I had a hard time not to download everything of it.

So, there's this question about whether I think Togepi is a baby Pokémon or not. My answer is a whole-hearted 'NO!' In my opinion, baby Pokémon are pre-evolutions of certain Pokémon from previous generations (e.g. Smoochum was introduced in Gen. II and is the pre-evo of the Gen. I Pokémon Jynx, and Bonsly was introduced in Gen. IV and is the pre-evo of Sudowoodo, a Gen. II addition), which means they're pre-evolutions of Pokémon that used to be already in their most basic stage. However, Togepi was introduced in Gen. II alongside its evolution Togetic, and I just cannot see Togetic as a basic Pokémon. The same goes for Riolu and Lucario. I mean... sure, unlike their evolutions and unlike most basic Pokémon, baby Pokémon cannot breed and they all automatically belong to the 'Undiscovered' egg group, which technically makes Togepi and Riolu baby Pokémon as well. Still, I have a hard time considering them as such just for the reasons I mentioned above. Also - as many of you probably know by now - I don't like baby Pokémon. Most of them are useless and I just don't understand why Game Freak would want to add weaker forms of already existing Pokémon rather than stronger forms. Fortunately, this is not the case with Togepi and Togetic, and the latter even got an evolution in the fourth generation, Togekiss, so I dare say that there is plenty to discuss!

Misty's Togepi using Metronome.

Of course, most people know Togepi from the anime. In "Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon" (season 1, episode 46), Ash and his friends get attacked by - you guessed it - a couple of prehistoric Pokémon that were woken up by a few explosions as the result of a fossil hunt, and after Jigglypuff comes to their rescue, everybody falls asleep. Ash wakes up with an egg in his arms, and for a couple of episodes we were left with no clue whatsoever of what Pokémon the egg contained. In the 50th episode, "Who Gets to Keep Togepi?", the egg finally hatches into Togepi and - you guessed it again - a battle about who gets to keep it ensues. Personally, I was on Ash's side, because he basically found the egg and thus it was his, but Misty was the first person Togepi saw when it hatched and that's why it saw her as its 'mother'. From then on, Togepi became a permanent character and was seen in almost every episode until Misty left the show, often helping the friends out when a situation got really dire. Starting during the Orange Islands saga, it would use Metronome to cause big explosions and even produce defensive screens, unbeknownst to Ash, Misty and Tracey (and later Brock when he returned for the Johto saga).

Misty saying goodbye to her Togetic in "A Togepi Mirage!";
season 7, episode 5.

When Misty left the show in favor of May and Max when the Advanced Generation series arrived, Togepi disappeared from the small screen as well. However, in the second season of that series (the seventh season of the Pokémon anime overall) Misty and her Togepi are the center of a two-parter. In "The Princess and the Togepi", Misty is lured to a Togepi festival by a disguised Team Rocket and they guide her to the Mirage Kingdom, followed by Ash, Brock, May and Max, who realize that Misty is in trouble when they see the building from which they take off collapse. Upon arrival, Misty and the rest are attacked by Colonel Hansen, who is after Togepi. After they try to get away, Misty loses Togepi in the chaos and it is then found by Sara, the princess of the Mirage Kingdom. Soon after she shows Togepi to her parents, Misty barges in and demands her Togepi back. Just as Misty and the rest get ready to leave the Mirage Kingdom for their safety, they are attacked again by Hansen and, as a result of fleeing from him, end up in the Togepi Paradise. The story continues in the next episode, "A Togepi Mirage!", when Hansen breaks into the paradise and abducts Togepi in order to rule over the kingdom. He throws the true king in the dungeons and betrays Team Rocket, but Ash and his friends manage to free the king with the help of a vengeful Team Rocket and challenge Hansen once more. Just as Hansen is on the winning side, the Togepi break out of the paradise, which causes Misty's Togepi to evolve into Togetic. Hansen's Shedinja is defeated by a Flamethrower from Misty's Gyarados and after a tearful goodbye, Togetic stays behind to protect the paradise.

All's well that ends well.

Old (left) and new (right) official Sugimori art of Togetic.

Yeah, Togepi was definitely a memorable character and it is a shame that it isn't seen in the anime anymore (not counting any possible cemeos). Togepi was such an innocent little thing and I'm glad it was the center of a storyline in which its flavor becomes more apparent than ever: it exudes a relaxing aura from inside its shell that grows stronger when it is treated nicely, and it is always willing to share some of its energy with kind people, but when it comes near a human with an impure heart this energy quickly disappears. That's why many Togepi in the paradise were so exhausted: Colonel Hansen's presence weakened them because of his impurity. Togetic takes this happiness thing a step further and tends to shower kind-hearted persons with luck and happiness - this is called 'joy dust'. As it can sense someone's personality, it flies around the world seeking these people in order to share its happiness, but, like Togepi, becomes dispirited when it is surrounded by mean or foul people.

Awwww... Such a cute family picture! :D

This is where I start cooing about HOW FUCKING MUCH I LOVE THIS THING!!! Ever since the days of Gold and Silver I've been in love with Togetic, and for the longest time it used to be my second favorite Pokémon, until Luxray came along in 2007. Now, it sits at a solid third place, behind Luxray and Lugia, and I'm still not tired of this Pokémon. I mean, how could I ever get tired of Togetic? Look at it: it's so cute and happy, and I always wish this thing was real so I could give it a hug and never let go of it. That is how fucking much I love Togetic, goddammit! You'd think I was pissed when Togekiss was introduced in Diamond and Pearl, but that's not true at all. I don't dislike Togekiss by any means; on the contrary, I actually quite like it... just not as much as Togetic! Togekiss will never beat my love for its pre-evolution. I did use it in a fairy mono-type playthrough, but that's mainly because it can learn Aura Sphere and Air Slash, whereas Togetic cannot. Deep inside, I hated that I 'had to' evolve Togetic in order to gain a little move diversity that others on my team didn't have, even though Togekiss didn't disappoint me at all. But however strong and diverse Togekiss may be, Togetic will always be my little chick - and I mean chick as in 'baby bird'. Because that is what Togetic is probably based on, y'know.

A Togekiss among other flying types in the movie Pokémon:
Giratina and the Sky Warrior. 

And competitively? Togekiss, whose Pokédex entries don't differ much from its pre-evolutions', is a damn good competitive battler, if I may say so. Its special attack and special defense are off the charts, sitting at base 120 and 115, respectively. It even has some very decent defense and a good HP stat to boot, which makes Togetic quite the bulky Pokémon. That is why it is often used as an offensive and defensive Pokémon in one. Having natural bulk, Togekiss likes to make use of Heal Bell and Roost, which can cure any status condition and heals up Togekiss's HP by half, respectively. It has access to Nasty Plot (why it learns NASTY Plot is beyond me, with its flavor about luck and happiness and all, but I'm not complaining), which increases its special attack by two stages, and in order to attack it can use Air Slash. With its Serene Grace ability, which doubles the chance of additional effects occurring, Air Slash has a 60% chance to make the foe flinch each turn. That is excellent to get Togekiss gain momentum against slower and bulkier foes, because it isn't the fastest Pokémon out there. That's why a Timid nature is recommended, although you could also go for a Modest nature for more offense or a Calm or Bold nature for more defense. In the latter cases, Leftovers would only add to its bulk by healing a little of its HP every turn.

Yes, Togekiss is good, but when you slap an Eviolite on Togetic it will increase its defense by 50%. That's not bad either, because Togetic has some pretty good natural bulk. A Bold-natured Togetic with max HP and defense is often used as a Defogger - so that it can remove entry hazards such as Stealth Rock - and healer, while the Nasty Plot/Baton Pass combo isn't uncommon, either: Togetic can pass on the boost in its special attack to a stronger teammate.

This Togetic is pretty exhausted. Would there be a cold-hearted person around?

Togekiss. I'm sorry buddy, but you'll never be better than Togetic, at least not to me. Your pre-evolution is superior in everything and no evolution can exceed my love for Togetic. Ever. This happens more often than I'd like to, but yet again an evolution gets a lower score than its pre-evolution. Togetic is love, Togetic is life, and not even an evolution and a change in its typing (it went from normal/flying to fairy/flying in X and Y) was able to change my love for it.

Rating Togetic: 5/5

Rating Togekiss: 4.5/5

#170 - #171: Chinchou & Lanturn

To those of you who think I just skipped number 169 in the National Pokédex: you haven't paid attention to my blog at all. I talked about Crobat along with Zubat and Golbat in a previous entry, because they're obviously related through evolution. Besides, it's bullshit not to discuss a certain evolution even though it was introduced in a later generation, right? Trust me, I will be 'skipping' quite some Pokémon in the future.

Old official art for Chinchou and Lanturn, drawn by Ken Sugimori.

Let's move on to the Pokémon with the unique water/electric-type combination: Chinchou. Of course, it owes its typing to its origin, as it is based on the anglerfish. More specifically, it is based on the footballfish, which can be seen in its name as well: Chinchou and its Japanese name Chonchie (チョンチー) are derived from chōchin, which is Japanese for 'lantern' and can be found back in the Japanese name for the footballfish, chōchin-ankō. The interesting thing is that it doesn't overly behaves like an anglerfish: in the anime it can be seen standing on its two little legs while on land, something an actual anglerfish can't do. I don't think the antennae of anglerfish have so many positive and negative charges flowing through them that it makes even them tingle, either. But, above all, Chinchou looks cute and friendly, as opposed to the predatory anglerfish with two rows of sharp, big-ass teeth visible in their gigantic mouths.

Adorable fan art of Lanturn. 

And its evolution Lanturn? Well, Lanturn is just as cutesy and huggable as Chinchou is, although it has more of an anglerfish body shape than Chinchou as well. Despite its adorable aesthetic, it shows the behavioral traits of real-life anglerfish: it uses its Y-shaped antenna to lure prey and gulp them down after blinding them with a flash of light first. The orbs on its antenna contain a colony of bacteria that create a chemical reaction, which can be compared with how a battery generates electricity, and the light Lanturn produces is so strong that it can illuminate ocean floors and even penetrate the sea's surface from the very depths of the ocean. That's why it is popularly nicknamed 'the Deep-Sea Star'. Otherwise, Lanturn is quite the interesting Pokémon. Too bad its namesake is a little unimaginative, as it literally derives from 'lantern', but whatever. I have never used Lanturn once in a playthrough and I would love to sometime, but the problem is that Chinchou is generally capturable late-game, and by that time I'll already have a full team of six Pokémon most of the time. Maybe Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon will provide us with a chance to catch Chinchou early on in the game, but for now I'm just really happy I can write an article about it.

Cute how Lanturns allows itself to be used as underwater
transportation for Manaphy.

I can hear you asking, "But what about its utility in the competitive scene; can't you just use it on your competitive team?" Well yeah, I could, but I'm not that much of a competitive battler and I really don't have the time or patience to breed a perfect Chinchou and start EV-training it properly. That is not to say Lanturn is not a good asset to any team: with its base 125 HP stat, it is an incredibly bulky Pokémon, even though its defenses are only mediocre. Its special defense is inarguably better than its defense, so you might as well make use of it by giving it a Calm nature and a support moveset. Heal Bell is a must-have in order to cure your teammates from a status conditions such as poison, sleep or a burn, while it can learn Toxic and Thunder Wave in order to induce poison or paralysis on the foe. You might want to consider Protect as well so that it can stall for a little Leftovers recovery, but Volt Switch and Scald should definitely be included in Lanturn's moveset. You'll find that Lanturn is very hard to take down, even with its low defense stat, although you can cheat a little by giving it a Bold nature instead of a Calm nature. It's not a terrible idea by any means, but it just generally better to make use of a Pokémon's best stats.

Speaking of which, Lanturn's special attack is tied with its special defense as its second best stat. Smogon lists some offensive movesets for Lanturn, but I'm second-guessing whether that would really be the best option. Correct, with a Modest nature, the Choice Specs or an Assault Vest, and a couple of good offensive moves, Lanturn can put in some work. Still, its base 76 special attack is not really suited for competitive play, at least in my opinion. Then again, Lanturn can endure quite some (special) hits naturally, so it might very well be a valuable offensive asset to your team. It learns a decent amount of coverage moves, too: Hydro Pump (can be replaced by Scald if you think it's too inaccurate), Thunderbolt, Volt Switch and Ice Beam is a very good offensive moveset, while Signal Beam and Dazzling Gleam aren't bad for some bug- and fairy-type coverage, either. Oh, and make sure its ability is always Volt Absorb, which renders electric-type attacks used against it completely useless while still healing some HP when hit by one. Its hidden ability Water Absorb does the exact same thing, but with water-type moves instead; however, Lanturn is already resistant to water and its water/electric typing makes it so that electric-type moves against it are neutral hits, as water is usually weak to electric. Illuminate doesn't even have any effects in battle, so you'd be smart to ignore that ability completely.

I guess this is not what Game Freak intended for Lanturn to look like.

In the end, Lanturn is a great Pokémon sporting a unique typing and design, and I would love to use sometime. It may not be the best battler in the world, but I think Lanturn is supposed to be more of a support Pokémon, anyway. I like how it is based on the anglerfish; it's such a unique animal. Some say Lanturn is also based on a dolphin and that its origin contains a small piece of the Greek legend of Apollo, who was the god of light and rode a dolphin, but that's a little bit farfetched. I don't think Lanturn is dolphin-like in the slightest; and besides, Pokémon freaks have been anticipating a true dolphin Pokémon for ages, which makes me think they don't consider Lanturn a dolphin at all. Dolphin or not, I still love this thing, and that's why I'm granting it an excellent rating of 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#158 - #160: Totodile, Croconaw & Feraligatr

Team Rocket's Jessie trying to shake off Professor Elm's Totodile
in "Don't Touch That 'dile"; season 3, episode 1.

I was going to make a comment about how I loved it that Ash's Totodile continuously clenched onto Jessie's hair with its jaws, but upon doing some research I came to realize I got some things mixed up. The Totodile that kept biting Jessie's hair is actually Professor Elm's Totodile we saw in the very first episode of the anime's third season, "Don't Touch That 'dile". Yet, Ash's Totodile was one of the best comic relief characters and always managed to make me smile or laugh. It even laughed at Duplica's Mini-Dit's (yup, the chick was at it again, but this time she brought a Ditto that retained its own size when it transformed into another Pokémon) attempt to use Scary Face in "Imitation Confrontation", the 17th episode of the fourth season. It is joyful and playful by nature and loves to chomp on anything that moves with its strong and well-developed jaws, with which it is capable to crush anything. Even its Trainers have to watch out for it. It's nice to see the anime was actually truthful to the personality and traits that described Totodile in the games, but unfortunately, Croconaw's entries aren't that much different from Totodile's. It likes to bite things and will absolutely not let go of them, not even when it loses one of its fangs, which will grow back rapidly anyway. Yeah, actual crocodilians can do that too, so I'm not impressed.

Fun fact: Croconaw actually has twice as many teeth lining its mouth as a real-life crocodile: 48. I guess Game Freak wanted to make Croconaw sound more impressive, at which they have failed, as official artwork of Feraligatr show it having only ten teeth in its mouth. Then again, what's Game Freak to do without adding a little bit of inconsistency here and there, right?

Because fan art of Croconaw doing the samba makes perfect
sense, doesn't it? 

Feraligatr, whose name is stylized that way because of a ten-character limit for names prior to Pokémon X and Y, turns out to be a lot more impressive than Meganium and Typhlosion flavor-wise. Because, as its name suggests, Feraligatr is ferocious: when it bites with its massive jaws, it shakes its head and savagely tears its victims to shreds. Sheesh. You sure you wanna give Totodile to beginning Trainers, Professor Elm? The rest of its Pokédex entries aren't all that special, but they're kinda contradictory: with base 78 speed, Feraligatr (fuck, I keep mistyping its goddamn name) isn't all that fast, although its entries state that its strong hind legs make it move quite quickly on land. It primarily uses them to kick the ground so as to charge at foes, but still... Game Freak couldn't really get it right with Feraligatr and its kin, especially not when Gold and Silver were released. Being a pure water type, Feraligatr had to rely on special-based moves rather than physical-based ones, as type still determined whether moves were physical or special, and water was still entirely special at that time. While a base 79 special attack stat isn't necessarily terrible, it's nothing to write home about, either; I mean, it's Feraligatr's second worst stat. Fortunately, Feraligatr benefited greatly from the physical/special split in Gen. IV, and from then on it has only gotten better.

This really shows Feraligatr's ferocious nature. 

While Earthquake was the best physical move it could get prior to Gen. IV, it got Crunch, Aqua Tail and Superpower for level-up moves in Diamond and Pearl. And they're all physical-based, too. It also gets Waterfall, Dragon Claw and Ice Punch, which were all accessible to Feraligatr before Diamond and Pearl, but were special-based nonetheless. And now they aren't. That's terrific. Additionally, it learns Brick Break, Shadow Claw, Rock Slide, Iron Tail, Outrage, Focus Punch and Aqua Jet, as well as the staple move of every competitive Feraligatr's moveset: Dragon Dance. This move increases its speed and attack by one stage each, which makes it an excellent late-game sweeper and allows you to run an Adamant-natured Feraligatr. The rest of its moveset should consist of only damaging moves (preferably Waterfall, Ice Punch and either Crunch or Earthquake), while a Life Orb powers up its moves even further and its hidden ability Sheer Force removes any additional effects of moves - if any - in exchange for even more power. You could also run a Swords Dance Feraligatr, as this move lets it gain a two-stage attack increase in one turn, but it's generally better to stick with Dragon Dance. Either way, Feraligatr has become a force to be reckoned with.

Never fuck with alligators!

Amazing realistic fan art of Totodile (left), Croconaw (right) and Feraligatr (middle).

Although Meganium is still - and will always be - my favorite Johto starter, Feraligatr has taken second place after I played HeartGold and SoulSilver (those are technically Gen. IV games), which moves Typhlosion to the third spot. Feraligatr has a great design, amazing competitive utility and an interesting flavor to it, but it's just half a star shy from a perfect rating. I think I've pissed off some passionate Meganium haters out there, but you know what? I'm totally fine with that!

Rating: 4.5/5

#150: Mewtwo

Giovanni facing 'his' Mewtwo, disguised in its robotic suit, at
Team Rocket's HQ.

You know, out of all the evil teams in the Pokémon franchise, Team Rocket was probably the most wicked. And with Team Rocket I don't mean those pathetic fuck-ups who go by the names of Jessie and James; I am talking about the organized-crime syndicate led by Giovanni. You see, Giovanni is a first-class mob boss, aiming to become - and remain - the most powerful and wealthy criminal in the Pokémon world. He heard of the legend of the mythical Pokémon Mew and decided he wanted to create a Pokémon more powerful and terrific than that, and through cloning he managed to create Mewtwo (well, his scientists did). Giovanni even used Mewtwo, disguised in a robotic suit, in a Gym battle against Gary Oak in the 63rd episode of the anime's first season, "The Battle of the Badge". This resulted in Gary losing the battle. Not that Gary needed the Earth Badge to begin with, as he had ten badges already, but still... Anyway, two episodes later, in "Showdown at the Po-ké Corral", Mewtwo causes an explosion at Team Rocket's HQ and escapes to New Island.

Dr. Fuji's clones from left to right: Charmandertwo, Squirtletwo,
Ambertwo, Bulbasaurtwo and a young Mewtwo.

That's when the very first Pokémon movie comes into play: Mewtwo is the center of attention in this movie and we see its actual backstory in a ten-minute anime short added to TV airings of the film in Japan. That short actually also focuses on Dr. Fuji, a scientist who lost his daughter, Amber, and seeks to bring her back to life by cloning her. When Giovanni's explorers find fossilized remains of Mew in Guyana (which is a real country, by the way), Giovanni takes interest in Dr. Fuji's ambitions and asks him to extract DNA from the remains and make a succesful clone of Mew. Dr. Fuji accepts the offer and succeeds in cloning Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, Amber and Mew, whom he calls Bulbasaurtwo, Charmandertwo, Squirtletwo, Ambertwo and, of course, Mewtwo. The clones fail to show consciousness, but they are able to communicate with each other by using telepathy. However, the clones of the Kanto starters die and Ambertwo follows soon after, which leaves only a highly emotional Mewtwo. To calm it down, the scientists inject a memory-wiping serum that allows it to slowly mature while it sleeps.

This serum is very important, because it is assumed that this caused Mewtwo to have lost its ability to be compassionate. Also, it is said that the reason that Mewtwo is the only clone to have survived is because the creature it originates from, Mew, possesses an immortal life force. Makes sense.

The official poster for the first Pokémon movie.

The rest of Mewtwo's story we see in Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back, in which Mewtwo breaks out of the tank it was cloned in. Upon finding out that the scientists saw it as nothing more than than result of their project, it blows up the whole goddamn place, presumably killing everyone inside. That's when Giovanni's helicopter arrives. Giovanni persuades Mewtwo to join him so that it can become stronger, but Mewtwo starts to develop a hatred towards mankind and soon becomes tired of being used by Giovanni. It then escapes, which we also see in "Showdown at the Po-ké Corral", and vows to begin its reign on Earth. Using a Fearow to spy on Trainers and a Dragonite to deliver invitations, Mewtwo lures the best Trainers to New Island, where it rebuilt the laboratory it was born in, in order to clone the Trainers' Pokémon and prove that the originals are no match for its clones. To succeed, Mewtwo created a variation on the regular Poké Ball, which is very much like a Master Ball in the sense that it captures any Pokémon without failure, but the only difference is that the Mewtwo Ball can also capture a Pokémon from inside its regular Poké Ball! A fight breaks out between the original Pokémon and their clones (including Mew and Mewtwo), until Ash steps up and demands the fighting to stop, only to get hit by two blasts of energy from Mew and Mewtwo. This caused Ash to turn into stone, much to the sadness of Pikachu, who fruitlessly attempts to wake Ash up by electrifying him over and over again. After Pikachu starts to cry, the other Pokémon follow Pikachu's example, and the many tears magically resurrect Ash. This is the point where Mewtwo realizes that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant: it is one does with the gift of life that determines one's destiny. It reasons that it would be better if no one remembered the events that had transpired, and erases the memories of all people and Pokémon on the island and transports them back to the mainland.

This creepy piece of Mewtwo fan art is
awesome!

Its Pokédex entries are a little different from the Mewtwo we see in the movie. Yes, it was engineered to be the ultimate battle machine, but that is not the reason why it can only think of defeating its foes. Although Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald state that the scientists who created Mewtwo failed to endow it with a compassionate heart, this is not entirely true. Mewtwo did show compassion after the loss of Ambertwo, but because the scientists at the lab on New Island gave it a serum to calm it down and let it forget what happened, it developed a hatred towards the human race. Then again, these Pokédex entries stem from the video games, in which Mewtwo's origin is an entirely different story. According to scientific logs found in the Pokémon Mansion on Cinnabar Island, Mewtwo was born of a pregnant Mew found deep in the jungles of Guyana, whose embryo had been tampered with in order to alter its DNA. It was held in the mansion, where a scientist performed horrific gene-splicing experiments that made it vicous and very powerful. It eventually broke free from the mansion, destroying it in the process, and sought shelter in Cerulean Cave, which the player can only enter after proving their skill at the Indigo League. Of course, the story provided in the video games wasn't really sufficient for the anime, so the anime creators needed a whole other Mewtwo story for the movie. Such a backstory is fine for Red, Blue and Yellow, but Mewtwo just sits in Cerulean Cave waiting for you to catch it in your Master Ball, which is hardly proper material for a full-fledged movie. Also, I can only imagine the horror-like shenanigans described in the games aren't suited to be used in a children's cartoon.

Mewtwo's Mega evolutions. On the left you can see Mega Mewtwo X, on the right
Mega Mewtwo Y. Both are drawn by Ken Sugimori and serve as their respective
official artworks. 

As for the competitive scene, I dont really have to explain that you can just go out there and commit cold-blooded murder. With a base stat total of 680, Mewtwo is one of the strongest Pokémon ever. It is bested only by Arceus, Black and White Kyurem, and several Mega evolutions - including its own - and equaled by a few other legendaries, usually game mascots depicted on the box art (with the exception of Hoopa Unbound). Its lowest stats are its defenses, which sit at base 90 and are very reasonable at worst. Mewtwo is also really versatile, because it can learn physical- and special based moves of so many different types and it can make good use of all of them, too. Especially as one of its Megas (like Charizard, Mewtwo has two), its attacking stats are off the charts, with Mega Mewtwo X being the strongest physical attacker in the game and Mega Mewtwo Y being the strongest special attacker. And I mean the strongest of all time. Damn.

Cloned Mewtwo floating in its tank while Mew is looking on. 

So, Mewtwo probably has the most extensive and versatile backstory I've seen so far. Well, while discussing the Pokémon on this blog, anyway. Design-wise it doesn't resemble Mew in the slightest; it looks more like an alien and doesn't have any feline traits that Mew does have, at least in my opinion. But that's not why I'm not giving it a perfect rating, something others tend to do because it is one of the original legendaries. Mewtwo is great, but because I like Mew a whole lot more, I'm giving Mewtwo half a star fewer.

By the way, what the fuck is UP with Mega Mewtwo Y? Mega Mewtwo X is pretty cool, and the Shadow version of it in the recently released Pokkén Tournament looks pretty goddamn awesome, but the Y Mega looks utterly ridiculous, with its skinny appearance and its tail on its head. Ugh, it shouldn't have existed in the first place. Well, here you have yet another reason why Mewtwo is not getting 5 stars from me.

Rating: 4.5/5

#146: Moltres

Moltres as it appears in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii.

So, the third and last Kanto legendary bird is Moltres, and I have to say that its flavor is less interesting than Zapdos's and that it's generally a whole lot less impressive than Articuno. That's how I think about it nowadays, at least, because I actually disliked Zapdos as a kid, as I mentioned in the previous entry. And when I say that Moltres's flavor is not all that interesting, I mean that it's downright bland. Every flap of its wings causes a dazzling flash of flames (no shit, its wings and tail are made of fire), it can heal itself when it dives into an active volcano (not impressive either, Magmar can do that as well), and it can bring an early springtime to cold and wintry lands. Moltres is obviously based on the phoenix, a quite well-known mythical firebird creature that has little mystery to it anymore due to its appearance in several fantasy films and TV shows, most notably the Harry Potter series. It has to be said, though, that Moltres doesn't entirely go up in flames and rise from its own ashes when it dies (I don't even know if it dies at all), so it is most likely based on a combination of the phoenix and firebirds from other folklores. And there are quite a few of them, so let's get started.

I absolutely LOVE this piece of fan art of Articuno (left), Zapdos (right) and Moltres
(middle). SO AWESOME!!! 

It shares traits with the Egyptian Bennu, a deity linked with the sun, creation and rebirth that may have been the inspiration for the phoenix in Greek mythology; the Iranian legend of the Huma, a bird from Persian mytholoy that is said to live its entire life flying invisibly high above the Earth and is commonly depicted as phoenix-like; a firebird from Slavic folklore called the Zhar-ptitsa or Zhar-ptica - depending on what country in the Balkans you're visiting - that is described as a large bird with majestic plumage that glows brightly emitting red, orange and yellow light, one single feather being able to light up an entire room; and the Vermilion Bird, which is one of the Four Symbols of the Chinese constellations and is a bird from Eastern Asian mythology (it is known as Zhū Què in Chinese, Suzaku in Japanese, Jujak in Korean and Chu Tước in Vietnamese) that has a five-colored plumage perpetually covered in flames. If you google the last one in the images department, you're bound to think that was the main inspiration for Moltres, not in the least because Pokémon spawned from a Japanese game company. And Japanese folklore isn't seldom the inspiration for many Pokémon, so at least it's a very plausible theory.

Phew. And now I'm done describing each and every goddamn firebird. I don't have all fucking day, y'know.

This is so cute.
(At the request of the creator, Lyns, I'm including the link to her DeviantArt. Definitely
check it out, she's made some cute watercolor drawings, including Pokémon ones.)

As far as other fire/flying types go, Moltres is easily outclassed and outchosen by Charizard, Ho-Oh and Talonflame in competitive play; the first because it has two very useful Megas, the second because it is stronger and has a more diverse movepool (although it can only be used in the Uber tier), and the last because of its ability Gale Wings. Moltres has none of those things, so it'll have to fall back on its stats instead, which are pretty good. It has excellent base special attack of 125, very good base attack of 100 and decent HP, defenses and speed. It's too bad Moltres has such a good attack stat, because it's not gonna use it. Plus, its speed kinda needs a boost. You could surprise the opponent with the Power Herb/Sky Attack combo, but that's more hassle than it's worth, so you should focus on its excellent special attack instead. Actually, there is one way to use Moltres properly, and that is to run a Timid or Modest one with Fire Blast, Hurricane, Will-O-Wisp and Roost, holding a Life Orb or the Choice Specs. Flamethrower or Heat Wave could replace Fire Blast for some more accuracy (and therefore reliability), and Hurricane may be replaced by Air Slash for the exact same reason. Having Moltres hold the Choice Scarf is an option, but due to its very decent HP and defenses it's able to take a hit anyway, so the above set is the best option.

Moltres's official artwork.

While writing this article it dawned on me that I forgot to mention Articuno and Zapdos's abilities, but all legendary birds have Pressure as their main ability, which deducts one additional PP from a foe's move if Moltres is directly targeted by that move. In other words: it's nothing special. Unless you want their hidden abilities, but Zapdos and Moltres come equipped with Static and Flame Body, respectively, which have a chance to paralyze or burn the foe, respectively, which in turn can be more easily accomplished by just using Thunder Wave or Will-O-Wisp, respectively. The only interesting hidden ability may be Articuno's Snow Cloak, which raises its evasiveness when it's hailing on the battlefield, but you're generally better off with Pressure after all, as hail isn't such a popular weather condition to pull off.

Hmmm... Maybe I'll have to adjust my opinion about Moltres a little. There are a plethora of folklores and legends that have been the inspiration for its design, which I still like better than Zapdos's. But because it will never exceed Articuno as my favorite legendary Kantonian bird, I just can't give it a perfect rating. Consequently, Moltres will have to do with a 4.5-star rating, which is still nothing to sneeze at.

Rating: 4.5/5

#145: Zapdos

Mystery Dungeon art of Zapdos. Pretty cool, I'd say.

You know, I never liked Zapdos when I was a child. You'd think a gigantic cool-looking electric bird thing would be one of the favorite Pokémon of an eight-year-old boy, but it definitely wasn't mine. Now that I'm older, I notice that I don't mind Zapdos at all; and as I'm doing research about Zapdos to write something about it for this article, I find that it actually has an interesting background. Zapdos seems to be based on the Native American legend of the thunderbird, a supernatural bird known for being the spirit of thunder, lightning and rain, most commonly in the form of a bald eagle. This bird of prey only lives on the continent of North-America (the USA and Canada), so not surprisingly, it was chosen as the emblem of the United States of America in 1782 because of its long life, great strength and majestic looks, all characteristics that represent the thunderbird as well. It is said to create thunderstorms by just flapping its wings, an exact trait that Zapdos shares with it. It's even attracted to thunderstorms and it has the tendency to make thunderclouds its habitat. And, uhm... well, that's pretty much it. It gains power when hit by a lightning bolt, but I guess that applies to any electric-type Pokémon, so I don't think that's overly special.

Look at Zapdos (up) gracefully soaring through
the thunderous sky, accompanied by Moltres
(down) and Articuno (middle).

To be honest, I think Zapdos is more special in competitive play. With its electric/flying typing, it exchanges a weakness to a common type it would otherwise have (ground) for two less common typings in competitive play (ice and rock). Also, Zapdos has great speed and excellent special attack, with some very decent defensive stats all around, so it's capable of taking a hit or two while hitting hard and fast at the same time. It doesn't have very diverse type coverage when it comes to its moves, but that is not to say it can't have a useful moveset. First off, you're probably gonna have to choose between STAB-moves Thunderbolt and Volt Switch; the latter is weaker, but it enables you to get Zapdos the hell off the goddamn battlefield in a problematic situation while still doing some damage first. As for coverage when it comes to doing damage: Zapdos only learns Heat Wave, Ancient Power and Signal Beam, and of those moves only Heat Wave is recommendable. So what about the other moveslots? Well, just teach it Roost and Defog, so that it can heal (be careful there, as Roost makes Zapdos lose its flying type for exactly one turn after use, making it vulnerable to ground-type moves!) and remove entry hazards from the battlefield (again, be careful, because it also removes any entry hazards you have set up on the opponent's side of the field). Of course, Zapdos very decent HP and defenses make it eligible to go the defensive way - Bold when physically defensive, Calm when specially defensive - so a stalling Zapdos holding the Leftovers and with the moves Defog and either Toxic or Thunder Wave isn't uncommon to see. However, it would be a shame to let that attacking potential go to waste, so what I'd personally go for is a Timid Zapdos with Choice Specs or a Choice Scarf. Heck, I'd even drop Defog and slap Thunderbolt on it, or maybe even Signal Beam (it isn't that bad of a move; 75 power is nothing to sneeze at). I guess everyone has its preferences.

There is a lot of amazing fan art of Zapdos to be found on the Internet, but this is
definitely one of the better pieces.

I've gradually taken a liking to Zapdos, but it will never surpass Articuno as one of my favorite legendary Pokémon. Ever. It may have a type advantage over the other two Kanto birds and the trio's master, as Articuno, Moltres and Lugia are all weak to electric, but Articuno and Lugia are two of my all-time favorite legendaries (Lugia is even my second favorite Pokémon in existence) and I believe that they are way too specially defensive to be knocked out by a Zapdos in one hit. No one wins from Articuno and Lugia! Anyway, however I may have disliked Zapdos as a kid, I actually like this Kanto bird now, so I'll give it a very neat 4.5-star rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#140 - #141: Kabuto & Kabutops

Official art of Kabuto, by Ken Sugimori.

Kabuto and Kabutops are the second set of fossil Pokémon, and quite honestly they are more interesting than the fossil Pokémon that preceded them in the National Pokédex. For the story about Lord Helix and Lord Dome I refer you to Omanyte and Omastar's entry, because I'm not going to tell the same damn story twice. Now, the most interesting thing about Kabuto is that is seems to be based on an ancient creature called the horseshoe crab, a species that has lived on Earth for at least 450 million years and are still to be found in our oceans and on certain beaches. Because of this trait, horseshoe crabs are considered 'living fossils', which is a term to describe living species that appear to be similar to species we otherwise know only from fossils. The curious thing is that Kabuto's Pokédex entries say that it lived eons ago but that it has now gone extinct, something the anime contradicts. You see, in the ninth episode of the second season of the anime, "Shell Shock!", Ash and his friends arrive on an uninhabited island where scientist are seeking to excavate Kabuto fossils after the discovery of one of said fossils. Ash, Misty and Tracey (who temporarily replaced Brock in the Orange Islands saga) join the expedition, but it is soon discovered that they are being sabotaged by an old man named Umberto, who warns them of a prophecy that impies that disturbing the Kabuto who inhabit the island will cause the island to be swallowed by the sea. And just upon discovering a cave full of Kabuto fossils, Team Rocket arrives and throws a bomb, which Ash catches and throws at the fossils. Of course, this wakes the Kabuto up and they fall from the walls of the cave, causing the island to sink into the ocean, since the fossils kept it together.

This is a horseshoe crab, a creature that has lived on this planet for a whopping
450 million years. Now tell me that, except for the tail-like thing, this is not what
Kabuto is based on.

So, it can be assumed that the Kabuto in this episode were in some state of hibernation, coming to life when they were disturbed by the people visiting the island. It's a quite literal interpretation of the term 'living fossil', but at least it's clear that Kabuto is based on the horseshoe crab (and maybe a little bit on the extinct group of arthropods called trilobites). Additionally, kabuto is the Japanese word for a type of helmet first used by ancient Japanese warriors and that later became a part of the traditional Japanese armor worn by samurai. Interesting, because Kabuto looks nothing like such a helmet.

An attacking Kabutops. I feel sorry for its prey.

But what about Kabutops, Kabuto's evolution? Well, all I can say is that Kabutops is not based on the horseshoe crab like its pre-evolution is. Instead, Kabutops shares traits with trilobites (specifically the cheirurus genus), especially the spines down its back and its cephalon, which look like the segments of trilobites. The sickle-like arms, however, imply that Kabutops is also based on eurypterids, extinct prehistoric arthropods that looked a little like trilobites but were armed with claws instead. They are believed to have been more closely related to horseshoe crabs than trilobites, but the comparison of Kabutops with horseshoe crabs ends right there. As for its flavor, Kabutops is much scarier than its pre-evolution: before it went extinct, it was in the process of evolving from an excellent swimmer into a land dweller in order to catch prey that had already evolved into land-dwelling species, but once it had its prey, Kabutops ripped it apart with its scythes and drank their internal fluids.

Yikes. That's about as gross as Omastar cracking a Shellder's shell open and sucking its insides out. Man, these prehistoric Pokémon were SAVAGE!

More fan art. Man, do I love this thing.

Unfortunately, Kabutops is not as savage as I'd like it to be in the competitive scene. However, it has access to some nifty moves, among which Swords Dance and a water-type Quick Attack: Aqua Jet. It learns it naturally as a Kabuto, and with an attack stat like Kabutops's and an attack boost from Swords Dance, it can hit pretty hard, making Kabutops an excellent sweeper. For the good physical moves you shouldn't take a look at its level-up movepool, though, because most of the attacks it learns are pretty booty, except for Night Slash. But TMs and Move Tutors really help it out here: it can learn Brick Break, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, X-Scissor, Waterfall, Aqua Tail, Superpower and Knock Off. For a competitive Kabutops, I'd recommend running an Adamant or Jolly one with maxed out EVs in attack and speed, a Life Orb to help boost its power, the Battle Armor ability to prevent random critical hits, and a moveset consisting of Swords Dance, Aqua Jet, Stone Edge and either Knock Off or a stronger physical water-type move like Waterfall (for having a chance to flinch the opponent) or Aqua Tail (for more power). And that's a safe set. Its Swift Swim ability is very handy when the rain is up and it will make Kabutops hard to outspeed, while Weak Armor lowers its defense each time it is hit by a physical move in exchange for an increase in its speed. Alternatively, Kabutops can learn both Stealth Rock and Rapid Spin; the former to set up an entry hazard and the latter to remove entry hazards. I wouldn't recommend either, just because I like to use Kabutops as a powerhouse, but it's your call.

All in all, I think Kabuto and Kabutops are a lot more interesting than Omanyte and Omastar, and I especially love Kabutops. But even these trilobite Pokémon are outclassed by a certain prehistoric Gen. I Pokémon that I love even more, mainly because of its Mega evolution. Nonetheless, Kabutops gets an excellent rating from me, just half a star shy of a perfect rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#129 - #130: Magikarp & Gyarados

I think Magikarp has the right to say this. 

So how does the most pathetic Pokémon evolve into a monstrous Pokémon exactly?

And with pathetic I actually mean pathetic. Magikarp's level-up movepool has been the same since Gen. II, consisting of only Splash, Tackle and Flail, and its stats are terrible across the board. Well, its speed is decent, but it's useless when you have no offensive or defensive stats whatsoever. But do you see the memes below and on the right? That's right, Magikarp will fuck you up when it evolves into the fearsome Gyarados, but how does that excalate so quickly? Well, Magikarp is based on an Asian carp (although it does look a bit like a koi carp), a kind of fish that is easily startled and can jump 8 to 10 feet in the air, hence Magikarp's 'ability' to splash. Magikarp's evolution into Gyarados refers to a Chinese legend about how carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate, which many believe is located behind several waterfalls and cataracs in China, would become dragons, but it's mainly an allegory of the drive and efforts needed to overcome obstacles. This is also demonstrated in the side game Pokémon Snap, in which a Magikarp splashes its way into a waterfall and evolves after taking certain steps.

Awesome fan art of a Gyarados scaring the crap out of a Rattata.

And, honestly, the change from Magikarp (stats, appearance, Pokédex entries) into Gyarados is like broad daylight abruptly turning into the dead of night. Even its Pokédex entries portray Magikarp as weak and pathetic. The following examples are a selection of Magikarp's Pokédex entries in the video games; there are a couple more, but I don't want to make this article too long.

Pokédex entry Red/Blue:
"In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today."

Pokédex entry Silver:
"For no reason, it jumps and splashes about, making it easy for predators like Pidgeotto to catch it mid-jump."

Pokédex entry Ruby:
"Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it."

Pokédex entry Emerald:
"Its swimming muscles are weak, so it is easily washed away by even slow-moving currents. In places where water pools, you can see many Magikarp deposited there by the flow."

Pokédex entry FireRed:
"It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world."

Pokédex entry Diamond:
"It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive."

Goddamn, Magikarp really wants to murder some people. By the
way, this Gyarados is shiny, for those who didn't know that yet.
Regular Gyarados are blue.

Horribly weak, a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon, virtually worthless, the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world... Those are some powerful superlatives you use there, Game Freak. Like, calm the fuck down. I know Magikarp isn't strong, but adding so many inglorious Pokédex entries is really pushing it. Actually, there are two that are somewhat positive, but they are both overshadowed by the negativity added to them: Sapphire's entry says that Magikarp can survive in the most polluted waters but actually starts off with some of above-mentioned superlatives, while Diamond's (as well as Black, White, Black 2 and White 2's entries) mentions that a Magikarp that lives for many years can leap a mountain using Splash but that the move remains useless no matter what. And even though you're not exactly wrong by chastizing Magikarp for being worthless, that's a very effective way to make some positivity about it undone, Game Freak. Excellent job.

James's Gyarados in "Pokémon Shipwreck";
season 1, episode 16. It is enraged because it
is kicked away as a Magikarp after being
called worthless. It takes revenge by
summoning other Gyarados and create a huge
waterspout that blows the kids away.

How different Gyarados's Pokédex entries are from Magikarp's, though. This humangous sea serpent has fangs that can crush stones and its scales are harder than steel. Gyarados is classified as the 'Atrocious Pokémon', and that description is spot on: it looks hideous and has a terrible personality also. You see, Gyarados is infamously known for its fierce temper and wanton destructive tendencies and it is capable of annihilate entire cities in a rage, which it has done in ancient times. There are even records of this Pokémon's rampages lasting a whole goddamn month. It is attracted to wars and conflicts, which is why it is hard to tame one even after it is captured by its Trainer, and an exceptional amount of work in taming Gyarados is required in order for it to obey its Trainer without any problems. This is demonstrated in "Pokémon Shipwreck", one of the earlier episodes of the anime. In the episode before that, "Battle Aboard the St. Anne", James gets conned on the St. Anne, a gigantic cruise ship, and ends up with a worthless Magikarp. However, the St. Anne capsizes and Ash, his friends and Team Rocket have to work together to make their way out of the sinking ship by use of Misty's water Pokémon. James tries to use Magikarp, but nearly ends up drowning, and after all of them are gathered together on a raft, James calls Magikarp a worthless piece of shit (not literally, but it's pretty damn near close) and kicks it into the ocean. This triggers evolution in Magikarp, changing into the fearsome Gyarados. Enraged, it summons other Gyarados who start swimming in circles, creating a enormous waterspout that blows everyone away, resulting in the majority of the bunch to be washed ashore on an island with giantic robotic Pokémon ("Island of the Giant Pokémon").

But why on Earth is Gyarados so incredibly violent compared to Magikarp? Well, the brain cells undergo a structural transformation, which is believed to be blamed for Gyarados's sudden violent behavior. I don't want to give away too much, but Gyarados seems to be the counterpart of Milotic: both are serpentine evolution of weak fish, both have an increase of 340 points in their base stat total upon evolution, and both appear in times of conflict (Gyarados to destroy, Milotic to becalm). If you take a look at Milotic, you'll understand why.

Official art of Mega Gyarados.

But upon gaining all of this power, Gyarados should become an awesome Pokémon to use competitively, right? Oh, hell yeah. Game Freak blessed Gyarados with an amazing Mega evolution that hits like a truck. With base 155 attack, 109 defense, 130 special defense and a decent base 95 HP stat, Mega Gyarados is an offensive tank. Unfortunately, it doesn't gain any speed upon Mega-evolving, but that can be fixed by teaching it Dragon Dance. That is definitely a move you'll want to keep, along with Crunch and Waterfall (or Aqua Tail; more power in exchange for some accuracy), from which it gets STAB. The other spot in its moveset should be reserved for Earthquake, but it also learns Stone Edge, Ice Fang, Outrage, Iron Head, Iron Tail and Dragon Tail (makes Gyarados to go last, but forces the opponent to switch out to one of their Pokémon at random, which is perfect to prevent sweepers from setting up). However, regular Gyarados has the flying type as its secondary typing, so it doesn't get STAB from Crunch. Moreover, the lack of good physical flying-type moves makes it a lot less viable for competitive play. It only gets Bounce, which is a two-turn move and therefore unusable, as it'll let the opponent get the chance to switch out to a Pokémon that is resistant to flying. Unless you give it a Power Herb, that is, which is a one-time-use item that allows the holder to attack immediately with a move that charges on the first turn. It's barely worth the hassle, though.

I... I can't even. This fan art is INCREDIBLE!!!

As for items, it is better to give Gyarados the Leftovers to hold, so that it can heal a little of its HP every turn. A Choice Band or a Choice Scarf is not an option if you're gonna use a Dragon Dance Gyarados, so the Life Orb may be an alternative. Regular Gyarados are better if they have some bulk to them, though, so you'll want Intimidate for an ability, which lowers the opponent's attack stat by one stage when switching into Gyarados. Its hidden ability is Moxie, which increases its attack by one stage every time it knocks out a Pokémon, but that would be much better on Mega Gyarados (who, sadly, always has Mold Breaker). Lastly, a Jolly or Adamant nature is preferred. You can go for an all-defensive Gyarados with status moves like Thunder Wave, Rest, Sleep Talk and Roar, with a Careful nature to boot, but that would be a waste of its power. Just use the Substitute/Dragon Dance combo with Waterfall and Earthquake and you'll be set.

Gyarados is a monster, and it has one of the most interesting flavors I have come across. The Chinese legend of carp becoming dragons when leaping over the Dragon Gate has brought forth one of the most obvious and well-executed transformations thus far. The only thing that still confuses me is Gyarados's flying type. It may be a reference to koinobori, a carp-shaped windsock traditionally flown to celebrate Children's Day in Japan, on which children's personalities and happiness are celebrated. It would have been better had Game Freak decided to make it water/dragon, but in Gen. I that would have been way too overpowered, as dragon was only weak to ice and itself. But there was only Dragon Rage in Gen. I, dealing a fixed damage of 40 HP, and Gyarados's water typing neutralizes ice-type moves. The result? Gyarados would've had no weaknesses whatsoever. Talk about overpowered...

Rating: 4.5/5