#95, #208: Onix & Steelix

The Crystal Onix from "The Crystal Onix", the 87th
episode of the Pokémon anime. 

No, I am NOT going to talk about Onix. I refuse.

Shit, I said I'd talk about all Pokémon, didn't I?

Well, to start with, Onix's stats are pretty terrible: except for its defense stat, its stats are all booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere. And although you can't say I hate or despise it, it is such an uninteresting Pokémon with an even more uninteresting flavor to it. A giant ground snake that digs tunnels? Yeah, I'm not impressed. Okay, it has a magnet in its brain that prevents it from losing its sense of direction while tunneling, but that is pretty much it. The only thing about Onix that might be interesting enough is the Crystal Onix episode from the Orange Archipelago era. In this episode, Ash, Misty and Tracey end up on Sunburst Island, which is famous for its artists and glassblowers. They meet Mateo, a shopkeeper whose products are of lower quality than the sculptures of other glass makers on the island. In order to find inspiration, Mateo seeks to capture the legendary Crystal Onix, but after they find it and battle it, he realizes that just seeing the special Onix has inspired him. The most curious thing is - despite the fact that Onix are rock/ground-type Pokémon and are thus four times weak to water - that the Crystal Onix can withstand water because of its glass skin. It is weak to fire instead, which regular Onix resist.

Some pretty good papercraft of Steelix.

But that is just one anime episode and doesn't prevent Onix from still being an awful Pokémon stat-wise. However, when you give Onix a Metal Coat to hold and trade it to another game, it evolves into a much better and more fascinating Pokémon: Steelix! Steelix's diamond-hard and magnetic steel body can resist heat (despite it still being weak to fire in the video games) and makes it able to dig towards the Earth's core. The most interesting thing is the change in its primary typing: all of the iron in the soil and rocks Steelix has swallowed as an Onix have accumulated and have caused its body to compress underground, which is why its body is harder than diamond or any other metal. Steelix is, as its name suggests, a primary steel type, as opposed to Onix being a primary rock type. This comes with a more-than-excellent defense stat, a large set of resistances (eight, to be exact) and two immunities (Steelix is still part ground, which makes it immune to electric-type moves). Game Freak even blessed Steelix with the most awesome Mega evolution I have seen thus far.

Mega Steelix's official art.

And that undoubtedly makes Steelix the best powerhouse and defensive wall in the RU tier, and maybe the best overall, barring any legendary Pokémon. Upon Mega-evolving, its already outstanding defense stat becomes even more outstanding, and it even gets a little special bulk behind it. Its very decent base 95 special defense stat gives you the option to run a Steelix with a Careful nature or invest in special defense EVs (or both), as Mega Steelix's physical defense is high enough as is. Being perfectly able to take a hit, Mega Steelix is arguably the best Stealth Rock user, and being the fifth heaviest Pokémon in the game, Heavy Slam - one of its staple moves - does massive damage to most Pokémon. Its other staple move is its STAB Earthquake, which hits Pokémon that are resistant to steel for neutral damage (water) or super-effective damage (fire, electric, steel). This is where you choose to have Toxic to whittle down physically bulkier foes, Roar to force opponents to switch so that they can't set up with stat-increasing moves, or Stone Edge, Crunch, Aqua Tail or even Iron Head/Iron Tail for coverage or more reliable damage. You can even go for Sandstorm, because steel-, ground- and rock-type moves get a 30% boost from Mega Steelix's ability Sand Force when a sandstorm is raging on the battlefield.

And while we're at it, a regular Steelix (before you Mega-evolve it) should have Sturdy, which prevents it from getting OHKO'd while at full health. Rock Head prevents recoil damage, but the only move Steelix gets that benefits from that is Double-Edge. Lastly, its hidden ability Sheer Force ignores additional effects of move (like flinching or stat reduction) of moves for a little extra power, but you want Steelix to Mega-evolve as soon as possible anyway, so you'll barely have the chance to make use of it.

Wow, this piece of fan art of Jasmine and her Mega Steelix is GORGEOUS!

I absolutely love, love, LOVE Mega Steelix and it is by far my favorite Mega evolution. It always looked like some kind of mineral-like spikes were about to protrude from Steelix's body, which they technically already did, but finally Mega-evolving has caused its cells to crystallize and made the prism-like crystalline spikes to burst from it. What's more, Mega Steelix now has its own gravitational orbit, causing metallic-looking scraps to constantly rotate around its neck. These scraps act to its movements and change position when it attacks. I mean, how cool is that? To top all that, Steelix's polished steel body makes its shiny form look more like actual gold, which makes it one of the most effective shinies to date. After all this praise, it probably comes at no surprise that I will give Steelix a perfect rating, just for being a perfect Pokémon.

Rating: 5/5

#90 - #91: Shellder & Cloyster

Do you remember that I already discussed Shellder in Slowbro and Slowking's entry? Yeah, I know that Shellder doesn't look like the shells on Slowbro's tail and Slowking's head, but there's this thing called evolution that might cause a Shellder that is attached to either Slowbro or Slowking to change its appearance as well, so don't question it. Okay?

Shellder in the anime. Due to its dopey look and big tongue,
Shellder is actually kinda cute, despite being a slimy mollusk. 

Okay. So, Shellder is already interesting by itself, especially because of its symbiotic relationship with the Slowpoke line. Now, I'm not going to write an entire paper about that; if you want to read about what Shellder does to Slowbro and Slowking, I suggest you go read their entry instead. All I know is that Shellder doesn't look so cute in its 'parasite' form anymore, nor does it actually look like a Pokémon when it clamps on to a member of the Slowpoke family, for that matter. In battles, Shellder is not so keen on clamping itself to an opponent, because that will reveal its vulnerable parts and therefore it will only do that as a last resort. Obviously, Shellder lives and sleeps in a hole on the seafloor, which it creates by using its broad tongue that is always kept hanging out. Loose grains of sand that get trapped inside its body after burrowing its hole are mixed with body fluids to form beautiful pearls. Shellder moves around by rapidly opening and closing its bivalve shell (which, by the way, is as hard as diamond)... while facing backwards. So it doesn't see where it is going, or does it have an intuitional orientation? Unfortunately, the Pokédex - or rather: Game Freak - fails to provide us with any information on that.

Cloyster fan art.

What is evident, though, is that Shellder is capable to fully evolve by itself. When it is exposed to a Water Stone, this cute little mussle (or clam) evolves into a giant not-to-be-fucked-with oyster. Cloyster definitely has more spikes on its shell than Shellder, but these spikes are even harder than its diamond-hard shell (harsh tidal currents affect their size and sharpness) and are also its main tools in battle. That is evident in the fact that it is able to learn flavor-matching moves like Spike Cannon and Spikes, as well as Icicle Spear, which can only be learned by Shellder. Its projectile system is also used to move itself forward, swallowing seawater and ejecting it towards the rear propelling it through with siphon-jet propulsion. Cloyster is kind of a mysterious Pokémon in the first place, because no one knows what its innards look like, will ever be able to open its shell when it is closed, or knows why its shell is so hard it can withstand a bomb blast or even a missile strike.

Some more awesome Cloyster fan art.

Whatever material(s) Cloyster's shell is made of, its in-game use strongly matches its flavor: Cloyster has a massive base 180 defense stat, which makes it capable to survive quite some physical attacks from its opponents. Unfortunately, its base HP is quite low and its special defense is absolutely garbage, so its endurance might disappoint in the long run. That is why Cloyster is often given a Focus Sash, which saves it from being one-shotted. Cloyster comes with three excellent abilities, but one of its two regular abilities, Skill Link, is absolutely the best. This ability allows Cloyster to hit the opponent a maximum number of times with multi-strike moves like Icicle Spear and Rock Blast, which hit for 25 power a pop for a maximum of five times. That's some clean 125 damage right there, so these moves are must-haves for Cloyster. So, what about the other abilities? Well, Shell Armor prevents Cloyster from getting a critical hit to the face, which is useless when it is hit by Thunderbolt or something anyway, while its hidden ability Overcoat prevents it from receiving chip damage from weather conditions such as Hail and Sandstorm, which is situational at best.

As for the other moves he should have: Razor Shell is its only usable physical water-type move (although some players carry Ice Shard on Cloyster instead), and Shell Smash raises its attck, special attack and speed by two stages each and lowers its defense and special defense by one stage each. Losing some defense for a lot of offense and speed is a good trade in my opinion, as Cloyster can still withstand quite a few physical attacks after a Shell Smash boost. The defense and special defense drop makes it even more frail than it is though, so that Focus Sash might be a very good idea. Although a Life Orb is a good alternative, a White Herb, which is an item that restores negative stat changes like the defensive drops from Shell Smash, might come in handy as well. A Jolly or Naive nature (both makes Cloyster's speed stat grow better) are the preferred natures for Cloyster and make it outspeed many Choice Scarf opponents after a Shell Smash.

Now, this player takes Game Freak's suggestive joke to the next level. Dirty
motherfucker!

This water/ice dual-type Pokémon is definitely great in battles, but the funniest thing about it is a joke theory that is going round on the Internet. In HeartGold and SoulSilver, the player is challenged by Young Couple Duff and Eda, who use Cloyster and Onix. But as it happens, in this context, Cloyster and Onix tend to strongly resemble a vulva and a phallus, respectively. Very suggestive, but I guess someone at Game Freak likes dirty inside jokes that children won't even notice. It makes adult players go LOL and parents go OMG, but I really don't see the harm in it.

Cloyster is one of those Pokémon I would LOVE to use in a playthrough once, especially one with the Skill Link ability, which makes it an extremely useful, unique and overpowered Pokémon (although it beats me why it isn't able to learn Pin Missile, with its effective projectile system and all). I love its design and its mischievous look, which suggest that we're dealing with a highly defensive and strong Pokémon. I'll gladly give Cloyster a rating of 5 stars, every one of them more than deserving!

Rating: 5/5

#81 - #82, #462: Magnemite, Magneton & Magnezone

Cute and intriguing fan art of Magnemite.

So here we have another evolution composed of three species of its pre-evolution.

Except I actually like Magneton, as opposed to Dugtrio.

Now, Magnemite and Magneton are some interesting Pokémon, to say the least. If you don't count Geodude and Graveler, these magnet Pokémon are the first Pokémon to be composed of inanimate objects. They're definitely the first Pokémon in the Pokédex to be based on man-made inanimate objects, contrary to Geodude and Graveler, who are based on objects (rocks) found in nature. Magnemite and Magneton do have emotions, know a way of reproducing and have the need to eat; its main form of nutrients is electrical currents. The magnets on the side of Magnemite's body create electromagnetic waves that allow it to levitate and when there is a strong magnetic force, three Magnemite could be drawn to each other to form Magneton. Magneton generate strange radio waves that are so strong that they cause a wide area to warm up by almost 4 degrees and can cause earaches when you come to close to them. They are drawn outside when sunspots flare up, presumably because of the changes in the sun's magnetic field. Because a group of Magneton can cause a magnetic storm and the waves they generate cause electrical and mechanic devices to break, large cities sound sirens to warn citizens of large-scale outbreaks of these Pokémon and urge Trainers to keep them inside their Poké Balls.

Poor things. It's just in their nature; they don't deserve to be treated like pariahs...

Pretty realistic fan art of Magneton.

The most interesting thing about Magnemite and Magneton is that they were the first Pokémon to have their typing changed. Prior to Gen. II, these Pokémon were pure electric types; the steel type was introduced one generation later, along with the dark type. Game Freak thought that would be a good reason to add this new typing to Magnemite and Magneton, because magnets and screws are steel objects, after all. Honestly, I can't blame them. They are right; and besides, steel is an awesome defensive typing, which is only one of the reasons why it's my favorite type. Pokémon with this typing are blessed with nine normal resistances, two quadruple resistances and one immunity. That certainly makes Magneton a much better fighter, but even though both Magnemite and Magneton have the ability to levitate, the actual game ability Levitate isn't available to them, which means they have a quadruple weakness to ground-type moves. There is a way to get around that pesky weakness, but I'll get to that later.

Official art of Magnezone by Ken Sugimori.

Anyway, you'd think that would be the end of it, but Magneton evolves even further. For some reason, Gen. IV introduced quite some evolutions of Pokémon from previous generations (including the horrendous Lickilicky and Probopass), and Magneton is one of the lucky bastards to get such an evolution. Although I don't think I should use the term 'lucky', because Magnezone actually looks really weird. It has better stats than Magneton in everything but speed, which is actually reduced upon evolving, but whereas Magneton literally consists of three Magnemite (unoriginal, but somehow more effective and interesting than Dugtrio), Magnezone is a flying saucer. Well, it definitely looks like one, anyway. It is actually based on magneforming, a high-speed forming process for electrically conductive metals, and I think it is to represent an electromagnetic field that can induce this (as indicated by its name - 'magnetic zone' - and its classification as the 'Magnet Area Pokémon' in the Pokédex). Don't ask me though, I've looked into this subject and I understand very little of it.

One thing I do know for sure: I don't like Magnezone one bit. You might think there is something that makes it stand out to Magneton, but Magnezone is only capable of inducing a greater magnetic force than its pre-evolution. Also, exposure to a special magnetic field changes Magneton's molecular structure, turning it into Magnezone. As a result, scientists made attempts to force evolution, in which they miserably failed. Besides, this whole change-of-molecular-structure thing... isn't that what all Pokémon that can evolve go through? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Let's face it: Magneton looks way better than Magnezone.
Right? RIGHT???

Both Magneton and Magnezone have some serious batttling capabilities though, so let's see what they've got up their sleeves. Let's start with Magneton, who resides in the RU tier and excels in special attack and defense, so invest EVs in these stats and slap an Eviolite on it. Considering the fact that the Eviolite also raises Magneton's physical bulk by 50%, you could also pump up its mediocre special defense to create some special bulk as well. Its hidden ability Analytic gives its moves a 30% boost if the opponent makes a move first or switches out, so a Quiet nature (boosts special attack and reduces speed) is the nature to go with, especially if you consider that its speed is not all that, anyway. Magnezone, on the other hand, is an OU-tier Pokémon and is commonly used to trap other steel types in the tier with its ability Magnet Pull (which, for the record, its pre-evolutions can also have, along with Sturdy). This niche is often combined with a Modest nature and Choice Specs, which boosts Magnezone's special attack by 50% but locks is into one specific move. What those moves are, you ask? Volt Switch, Thunderbolt, Flash Cannon and Hidden Power are what both Magneton and Magnezone can get, because they don't have a lot of diversity. You might even want to consider Magnet Rise, which gets around Magnezone's pesky quadruple weakness to ground. It might be a good idea to give Magnezone an Air Balloon (which has the same effect as Levitate. but pops when Magnezone is hit by any move other than a ground-type move) to hold instead of Choice Specs, especially since it is slower than Magnezone and can't pull it off very quickly.

This is the first time I'm giving a second-stage evolution a completely different rating than its pre-evolution, simply because I like Magneton a whole lot more than its evolution Magnezone. I don't hate Magnezone, and it is undoubtedly a good competitive Pokémon, but it is just too weird for me to like, not to mention that this Pokémon was (and still is) actually quite unnecessary.

Rating Magneton: 5/5

Rating Magnezone: 2.5/5

#77 - #78: Ponyta & Rapidash

Official art of Ponyta (left) and Rapidash (right).

OMG OMG OMG, DID SOMEONE SAY UNICORNS???

Yeah, I don't care about unicorns.

Rapidash is awesome though, so let's see what this thing is all about. It is the evolved form of Ponyta, who is really nothing special. Okay, its hooves are said to be ten times harder than diamond, but that's only a good thing for Ponyta. We can't go collect them hooves, PETA will have our heads for that. It can jump over Ayers Rock and the Eiffel Tower, but who says Rapidash can't do it better? Besides, newborn Ponyta can't even stand properly and only strengthen overtime while chasing its parents, very much like real-life newborn foals. I guess Rapidash can do everything that Ponyta can do, just better. And on top of that, it can even run 150 miles per hour while barely touching the ground, reaching its top speed in only ten steps. The faster it goes, the longer its blazing manes become and the brighter they sparkle.

Shiny Ponyta and Rapidash both have some of the best shiny
forms created by Game Freak.

Ponyta's flavor may not be that interesting compared to Rapidash's, but it and its evolution are definitely some of the most graceful Pokémon in existence. Not surprising, as horses are often seen as noble animals since humans use them for transport. The image of Ponyta and Rapidash's gracefulness is only enhanced by their shiny forms, which are some of the best ones out there. Normally, Ponyta and Rapidash both have normal orange-red flames as manes. This suggests that they're based on the fiery steeds in mythology, such as those belonging to the Greek god Helios, or Skinfaxi and Hrímfaxi from Norse mythology. These horses are ridden by Dagr (meaning 'day') and Nótt ('night') respectively, and Ponyta and Rapidash's shiny forms only make us wonder whether they are based on those mythological horses: shiny Ponyta have blue flames (day?), while shiny Rapidash are blessed with gray flames (night?). One thing is for sure: while some shiny Pokémon are downright ugly, Ponyta and Rapidash only look more beautiful than their regular forms. I love them. Not as much as shiny Ninetales, but I love them nonetheless.

Potential Mega evolution of Rapidash? I'd support a flaming
Pegasus Pokémon for sure. 

But a shiny is nothing when it cannot fight, right? Well, don't worry: Rapidash is actually a competent Pokémon to use competitively. It's got excellent attack and speed and somewhat medicore defenses. They're not terrible, but I think Rapidash is supposed to be a glass cannon and has to hit hard and fast, so you'd better invest EVs in speed and attack and give it a Choice Band or Life Orb. Flash Fire is the preferred ability, as it absorbs other fire-type moves and gives Rapidash a boost in its own fire-type moves in return, while its moveset should consist of Flare Blitz, Wild Charge, Drill Run and Will-O-Wisp. Be careful, because the first two moves cause recoil damage on Rapidash and wear it down easily (especially when combined with a Life Orb). Poison Jab, Megahorn, Bounce, Iron Tail and Low Kick are also solid options for Rapidash if you know or suspect what you're about to face and want to use other moves instead of Drill Run and/or Wild Charge (and let's be honest: two recoil moves, especially when Rapidash doesn't even receive STAB from one of them, is a little redundant for such a frail Pokémon, don't you think?).

In the end, Rapidash doesn't even look as much like a unicorn as I made you believe at the beginning of this entry. I love everything about it, though: its characteristics, the fact that it is based on mythological horses, its fighting capabilities, its diverse movepool (but how the hell does it get Poison Jab?)... However, it is its shiny form that makes me give it and its pre-evolution Ponyta a perfect rating. I am starting to understand why the human race regards horses as noble creatures.

Rating: 5/5

#58 - #59: Growlithe & Arcanine

Cute little Growlithe chasing (about to chase?) its tail, as befits
a dog.

One thing I love about Growlithe and Arcanine is that there is so much cute and cool fan art to be found on the Internet. Just insert Growlithe in Google Images and you'll get lots of cute fan art, while Arcanine is mostly depicted as wild, ferocious and dangerous. In my opinion, both are such distinctive Gen. I Pokémon and I like them a lot. I am probably contradicting myself now, because in Meowth and Persian's entry I said that I do not like real-life dogs at all, but fortunately my dislike for dogs does not make me dislike canine Pokémon at all, so I'll be able to go into this review completely unbiased. Having said that, I have to say that Growlithe's characteristics are so... ordinary. It is loyal and obedient and it will bark at, bite and chase away any threats and will defend its Trainer and territory from them. It also has an amazing olfactory sense and never forgets a scent. Except for the fact that Growlithe uses its sense of smell to detect the emotion of others, all of this sounds like it is an ordinary dog, to be honest. That can't be said of Arcanine, who is capable of running 6,200 miles (10,000 kilometers) in 24 fucking hours. Arcanine is admired for its beauty and speed and anyone who hears its bark will grovel before it, hence its classification as the 'Legendary Pokémon', even though, strictly speaking, it isn't a legendary Pokémon by any means. Considering both it and its pre-evo Growlithe are based on Japanese artifacts called shisa or komainu, guardian statues that resemble lions and have traits of dogs and tigers, its classification isn't even that farfetched. To top it all off, the source of its power is a flame blazing wild inside its body.

You can't talk of dog-like features in this case, can you?

Some awesome fan art of Arcanine. These show
the beauty, elegance and strength of Arcanine.

But that is exactly what fan art likes to show you: the beauty, elegance and strength of Arcanine. Strength? Yes, because no matter how you look at it, Arcanine is one of those Pokémon with very balanced stats. Its defenses are decent and it has some nice HP to back them up, its speed is good and it will be even better when it's holding a Choice Scarf, and it is capable of using both attacking stats for some heavy damage. It sits in the UU tier of the competitive scene and despite this tier's name (UU means underused), Arcanine is quite a popular Pokémon. Most people use it as a fast physically offensive sweeper with a moveset consisting of Flare Blitz (be wary, as this move causes recoil damage), Close Combat (to counter one of its weaknesses, which is rock), Wild Charge (to counter another one of its weaknesses, which is water) and Extreme Speed (a Quick Attack on steroids; it's nice to have for some priority) and a hold item like Choice Band, Choice Scarf or Life Orb. You could even ditch an offensive move and throw in Morning Sun for healing purposes. If dragons are a threat, you can teach your Growlithe Outrage, which it learns by level-up, while Crunch, Iron Tail and Iron Head are also viable options for some coverage. These might only be useful for in-game purposes though, because steel is not an overly useful offensive type in the competitive scene - even though it is fantastic defensively. If you want to surprise your opponents, you could rock a specially offensive Arcanine. Its base physical attack (110) is slightly better than its base special attack (100), but the latter is more than usable. The only downside to using a special Arcanine is the lack of special moves. The best it gets are some strong fire-type moves. It also learns Dragon Pulse and some other weaker coverage moves, but those aren't even worth the hassle.

Arcanine vs. Luxray. Some people apparently see Luxray as Arcanine's feline
equivalent, as there is some fan art with these two to be found on the Internet. 

Now, I know that Arcanine was number 25 in my list of favorite Pokémon two years ago, but I think I'm going to reconsider that position. Don't get me wrong; Arcanine is still one of those cool Pokémon that are definitely worth your while, and I totally love the fan art that's made of it. Don't worry though, it will still get a perfect rating from me, especially considering the fact that I am currently using Arcanine in a playthrough (it is such a monster!), but there are other Pokémon I've come to love a lot more than I actually did. Maybe I'll make a top 100 of my favorite Pokémon - just a list with the names of my 100 favorite Pokémon, by the way - after I've rated all 721 Pokémon (that's still quite a while away, though).

Rating: 5/5

#54 - #55: Psyduck & Golduck

Fan art of Psyduck. It's probably having a headache.

Psyduck looks dumb.

There, I said it. I'm sorry to all you Psyduck lovers out there, but I'm not really all that fond of the thing. I totally felt for Misty every fucking time her dim-witted Psyduck, which she accidentally caught, broke out of its goddamn Poké Ball without having been asked to. This source of annoyance, to Misty as well as to the viewers, might have been dim-witted and oblivious, but it has been shown to use psychic powers that far exceed its normal abilities when its headaches get bad enough. No surprises there, because that is what Psyduck is all about: being dumb and oblivious, being plagued by chronic headaches, trying to calm its headaches by standing immobile (hence the Psyduck on Sinnoh's Route 10 in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, who won't move until Cynthia gives you a Secret Potion), and releasing crazy-strong psychic powers when its headaches become too severe. It is even unable to recall such episodes. The psychic thing, along with Psyduck's ability to learn several strong psychic-type moves, makes me believe that it should have had the psychic type as its secondary typing to begin with, but I guess that is absolutely none of my business.

Old TCG art of Golduck in action.

I feel like Golduck is, however, which is mainly because I love it, whereas I really don't care for Psyduck in the slightest. You'd think Golduck gains the psychic type as its secondary typing upon evolving from Psyduck, but that couldn't be any further from the truth: Golduck is a pure water type, just like its pre-evolution. Even so, it inherits Psyduck's psychic powers (although not its headaches), only with the ability to control them through the gem on its head, which glows when it is using its psychic powers and occasionally when it swims at full speed. And that is pretty fast, considering the fact that it outswims the most athletic humans because of its webbed hands and feet. It isn't even bothered by rough seas and will sometimes rescue people from shipwrecks. That is probably why it is often mistaken for a Japanese monster called the kappa, which is exactly what Golduck is based on (and quite frankly, I like that a lot). In short, Golduck is a hundred times more bad-ass than its pre-evolution.

Official art of Golduck.

But how good is it in the video games? Well, Golduck's flavor is perceptible through its ability to learn quite some psychic-type moves (such as Psychic, Psyshock, Confusion, and even egg moves like Psybeam, Synchronoise and Future Sight) and its hidden ability Swift Swim, which doubles its speed when it's raining in battles. It is therefore not uncommon to use a 'rain' Golduck in the NU tier, with a moveset consisting of Rain Dance, a STAB move like Scald or Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Psychic. Maybe you can omit either Psychic or Ice Beam and give it Calm Mind, to boost its more-than-decent special attack and fairly decent special defense and use it as a sweeper. For in-game purposes, you might want to go for an all-offensive Golduck with a moveset consisting of Surf, Ice Beam, Psychic and Focus Blast. Signal Beam is an option, but it's a Move Tutor move and can't be obtained until after you've finished the Delta Episode. As you can see, its movepool is just diverse (and strong) enough to consist of moves of four different types. If only Psychic was a STAB move... right?

Some awesome modified art of Golduck.

Forget about it, Game Freak will never decide to bless Golduck with that ever-useful psyhic type. Nonetheless, Golduck has always been one of my favorite Gen. I Pokémon: its streamlined design is simplistic but effective, and it is a strong Pokémon that's somewhat capable of taking a hit from another Pokémon (both its HP and defenses are halfway competent, resulting is some decent bulk). Overall, Golduck is a very interesting Pokémon that totally lives up to the characteristics it is known for. I can't help but give it a perfect rating, which is the second one in a row. Will Primeape be able to add a third?

Rating: 5/5

#52 - #53: Meowth & Persian

A cute little Meowth playing with its Amulet Coins. This
is not surprising, though, because it is attracted to round
and shiny objects, picking up anything that sparkles when
wandering the streets, including loose change. Its eyes then
glitter and the coin on its forehead will shine brightly.

Awww, look at that adorable little kitty! Who's a cutie? Who's a cutie? Yes, it's you! Coochie coochie coo!

Ahem... You saw nothing.

Seriously though, while I am not fond of dogs at all, I have an inexplicable affection for cats. Some dogs are graceless, clumsy and ugly monsters (pitbulls, bulldogs and chihuahuas, for example, the latter of which is a rat rather than a dog; I can't even call that a proper dog species) that are way too energetic and playful around humans, which I can't stand. Cats, on the other hand, are beautiful, graceful, fluffy and calm creatures that don't follow you around all day trying to get your attention, which I like. The only downside of having three cats, however, are the dead mice and birds they bring home every night, but I'll take those dead bodies anytime over a dog that barks constantly while you are attempting to get your necessary eight hours of sleep. My love for cats has carried over to Pokémon, as quite some cat Pokémon have been introduced throughout the years, the latest additions being Pyroar and Meowstic. I even did an ORAS playthrough with only feline Pokémon (Luxray, Persian, Purugly, Liepard, Meowstic and Pyroar; I decided not to go with Delcatty because that Pokémon is terrible). Yeah, my love for cats has gone that far...

Official art of Persian by Ken Sugimori.

So it is probably not a surprise that I'm so head over heels in love with Meowth and, specifically, Persian. I have not always loved Persian so much though, mainly because I came to love cats only eight years ago, when my mother got us a cat in the first place. My newfound love for Persian, however, only hatched some three months ago, when playing that ORAS cat playthrough. I can tell you it was a true MVP, all because of one move: Nasty Plot. Yes, I know that Persian's base attack stat is 70 and its special attack is 65, but it is Nasty Plot what makes Persian so good, as this move raises a Pokémon's special attack by two stages. Hone Claws only raises Persian's attack by one stage, as well as its accuracy, but it doesn't need the accuracy boost because all special moves it can learn have perfect accuracy, anyway. And it learns quite some special moves, whether or not they'll have to be taught to Persian through a Move Tutor. Nasty Plot and either Hyper Voice or Swift are must-haves, while Icy Wind and Water Pulse are there for coverage (and will be stronger if you use a Persian that has the ability Technician, which boosts moves that have 60 base power or less; Swift also gets that boost). It learns Power Gem by level-up and Thunderbolt, Thunder, Shadow Ball and Dark Pulse by use of TMs. A Hypnosis/Dream Eater combo is an option as well, but it'll take up Persian's remaining two moveslots, which might not be what you desire. Hypnosis has terrible accuracy, anyway. The coverage depends on what moves the other Pokémon in your party have; my own Persian had Power Gem and Water Pulse.

Persian is, without a doubt, an amazing Pokémon, but it is probably best known for being mob boss Giovanni's pet. That's no mean feat, because Persian is extremely difficult to raise due to its temper and barbaric personality; it will scratch anyone with little or no provocation, including its Trainer, and it has been seen ripping its prey apart for no discernible reason. How's that for a pet cat? However, much more gentle and well-known (probably the most well-known Pokémon aside from Pikachu) is Team Rocket's Meowth, who has been Jessie and James' sidekick since the very first season of the anime series. He was introduced in the second episode alongside Jessie and James, in which he could already talk.

Meowth in the anime series, as one third of Team Rocket.

Later on in the series, we get to know Meowth's history. He starts off as a young Meowth in a camp, waking up all alone in the rain and ultimately being strung up from a tree as a punishment by a baseball coach for knocking over a basket with baseballs because he was trying to eat the basket. After seeing a film depicting a Meowth being given delicious foods, Meowth decided to go to Hollywood, but upon arriving he was merely perceived as a stray Pokémon. After joining a gang with Meowth led by a Persian for a long time, annoying the humans in town by stealing food and causing trouble, Meowth meets and falls in love with a female Meowth called Meowzie. She rejected him, saying he was poor and preferred humans, but when Meowth learns to walk and talk like a human, she calls him a freak.

Meowth hanging on to James, probably busted while executing one of Team
Rocket's 'evil' plans. 

Heartbroken, he joins Team Rocket, inspired by the very first word he learns: 'rocket'. That is how we know Meowth nowadays: as one third of an evil team trying to steal other people's Pokémon, but failing miserably over and over again. Until Unova, that is, when Team Rocket developed a more serious attitude, acting more like professional criminals. This even got out of hand when Ash found Meowth injured. Meowth explained that he screwed up one of Team Rocket's big schemes in Nimbasa City and decided to travel with Ash and his friends onwards, only to get busted later on, when it was revealed that Meowth's dismissal was fake and part of Team Rocket's big plan to steal all the Pokémon from Nimbasa City's Pokémon Center. I personally love this little piece of history of Meowth's life and the development of his character, which we almost never get to see in the Pokémon anime. It adds a little depth to an otherwise bland series, in my opinion.

I love Meowth and Persian. The legend of the maneki-neko ('lucky cat' or 'beckoning cat'), a common Japanese ceramic or plastic figurine of a cat holding a koban, a kind of ancient Japanese coin like the one on Meowth's head, is perfectly incorporated in Meowth's design and flavor. I guess it is just a matter of personal taste and experiences, though; and even though I have to admit Meowth and Persian are not strong Pokémon at all, I love them for their designs, flavor, the roles they play in the animated series, and because they're freaking cats, goddammit!

So, uhm... did I mention that I love cats already?

Rating: 5/5

#37 - #38: Vulpix & Ninetales

Official art of Vulpix.

Next up on my list are the pure fire types Vulpix and Ninetales. Yeah... pure fire types.

You see, everything about their flavor indicates they should have had a secondary typing, probably ghost or maybe even psychic. Well, at least Ninetales should have... Because even though Vulpix is capable of manipulating fire to such precision that it can create floating wisps of flame, is born with one white tail that splits into six and learns most of the moves that define their flavor, such as Extrasensory, Hex, Spite, Grudge, Feint Attack, Confuse Ray, Hypnosis and even Will-O-Wisp (almost all fire and ghost types can learn this move, but I'll mention it just for the sake of making my point; besides, aside from Vulpix and the Fennekin line, another line of fiery foxes, only some ghost-type moves can learn this move by level-up), Ninetales is the one Pokémon in this evolution line that is the most fascinating. Vulpix is cute and all, but Ninetales is where things get weird. It is a very beautiful Pokémon, but it is also very vengeful towards those who mistreat it, laying a 1,000-year curse on them. Ninetales can live for 1,000 years due to the energy within its nine tails, each of which is said to have its own mystical power. That is not all, though: Ninetales is based on a kitsune, a fox-like creature of Japanese folklore that have many tails, have extremely long lifespans and can breathe fire. After a long-lived life, kitsune take on spirit forms, which is exactly the reason why Ninetales should have had a secondary ghost typing to begin with. And the ability to learn Shadow Ball, while we're at it.

Beautiful, majestic Ninetales.

That is not to say that Ninetales doesn't learn any other good moves, however. You might want to make sure to have a Ninetales with its hidden ability, which is Drought. It conjures up the sun for at least five turns and powers up its fire-type moves by 50% while weakening any super effective water-type moves opponents might use against Ninetales by 50% as well. This ability is excellent for setting up, because Ninetales can learn Nasty Plot, which is a start move that sharply raises its somewhat mediocre special attack stat. That, combined with Drought, the item Life Orb, its excellent special defense and speed stats, and the moves Solar Beam, Flamethrower and Psyshock, makes for an excellent competitive Pokémon in the NU tier. That way, you can go all-offensive and you won't have to spend a moveslot on Sunny Day or Will-O-Wisp. You could go for the Hypnosis/Dream Eater combo, but Hypnosis has such low accuracy that it's not really worth it. Besides, Psyshock is more reliable and consistent and, above all, hits for physical damage rather than special damage, while still making use of Ninetales' special attack stat. That is quite useful against specially bulky opponents and provides for more coverage anyway.

Shiny Ninetales is one of my favorite shinies. 

One more reason why Ninetales is one of my favorite Pokémon is its shiny form. Usually, Ninetales are beige with brown tail tips, but shiny Ninetales is gray with blue tail tips. It is... beautiful. One of my favorite shiny Pokémon for sure. Also, this color scheme fits Ninetales' flavor of being a mystical creature even more than its regular color scheme, as it looks more like a ghost-type Pokémon (there I go again about its should-be secondary typing!) when it's shiny. I love Ninetales for everything it stands for, though, so I can't help but give it a perfect rating of five stars!

Rating: 5/5

#29 - #34: Nidoran♀, Nidorina, Nidoqueen, Nidoran♂, Nidorino & Nidoking

Love at first sight. In the games they aren't able to breed with
each other, though.

Poor little Nidoran♀...

It shouldn't come as a surprise that the female Nidoran has been the least favorite Nido since the beginning, especially considering the fact that Pokémon was initially a boys' thing (although it wasn't necessarily aimed at just boys) and Nidoking was obviously more savage-looking to them than Nidoqueen. However, it goes without saying that the entire Nido family have always been an interesting bunch. Up to now, these Pokémon have been the only species of which the different genders occupy different places in the Pokédex. Without a doubt, the female Nidoran is related to the male Nidoran, but have them be the exact same species and number rather than place them in different spots in the Pokédex (although both evolution lines appear next to each other) was difficult, if not impossible, for Game Freak and Nintendo to encode into the games at the time. I guess. I don't even know exactly, maybe that wasn't even their intention at all, as both Nidoran's evolutions have different names: Nidoran♀ evolves into Nidorina and eventually Nidoqueen, while Nidoran♂ evolves into Nidorino, who ultimately evolves into Nidoking. The same cannot be said about the likes of Unfezant, Meowstic and Pyroar, for example. Their appearances differ drastically based on their gender, but both males and females have the same name.

Official Ken Sugimori art of Nidorina (left) and Nidorino (right). Nidorina are shown
to deeply care for their young, while Nidorino are often violent and easily angered.

One peculiar thing about both Nidoran is that they cannot breed. At least not with each other. They both belong to the 'Monster' and 'Field' egg groups, which are both egg groups with Pokémon that are perfectly able to breed with each other, but both Nidoran are only able to breed with Ditto. It gets even odder, as both Nidoran can produce both Nidoran. Let me explain: if a female Nidoran breeds with Ditto, it is able to produce an egg with either a female or a male Nidoran. The same goes into effect when a male Nidoran breeds with Ditto. Nidorina, Nidorino, Nidoqueen and Nidoking are part of the 'Undiscovered' egg group and cannot even breed themselves. I can imagine the frustration if you're breeding with the goal of getting five or six perfect IVs on your male Nidoran and you're getting a female one... Well, the chance is 50/50 anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be that hard; breeding perfect IVs onto your Pokémon is a torture in the first place.

The Nido family: Nidoking and Nidoqueen (back), Nidorina and
Nidorino (bottom left), and both Nidoran (bottom right).

But eventually it'll be worth your while. Just use a Moon Stone on Nidorina or Nidorino if you want Nidoqueen or Nidoking, respectively, because they do not evolve by leveling them up. Both final evolutions are quite capable in battles, though, and Nidoking is even often used in the competitive scene. That is not without a reason, because it is a little bit stronger than Nidoqueen. Whereas Nidoking is slightly faster and more offensive than it is defensive, Nidoqueen is more of a bulky Pokémon rather than an overly strong one, even though its attack stat is more than decent. It doesn't help Nidoqueen's cause that it is hardly able to effectively use its special attack stat, as it is just mediocre (just like its speed stat, so a choice item Nidoqueen is a lot less effective than a choice item Nidoking, with the exception of maybe the Choice Band). Both Nidos have some interesting physical-based level-up moves and can be taught the very same TM and HM moves, except Aerial Ace (which, for some strange reason, only Nidoqueen can learn), so both can learn some great physical moves, even through breeding.

Awesome 'realistic' interpretation of Nidoking.

As Nidoking has very respectable special attack and speed stat, however, it is often used as a special attacker, not seldom in combination with a choice item such as a Choice Scarf and its hidden ability Sheer Force, which takes away added effects of moves (reducing the target's stats, boosting the user's stats or causing a status effect to the target, but not a higher chance of a critical hit) and adds some extra power. Let's take a look at the special-based moves it can take advantage of due to its ability, shall we? Ice Beam, Thunderbolt and Flamethrower, as well as their stronger counterparts Blizzard, Thunder and Fire Blast, are viable options. Earth Power and Sludge Wave (which is stronger in one-on-one battles, but hits multiple Pokémon in double and multi battles) are must-haves for Nidoking, as they're STAB moves and receive an added bonus due to Sheer Force. It also learns Shadow Ball, Focus Blast and Surf, just for good measure. Nidoking's physical attack is even higher, but its hidden ability doesn't allow many physical-based moves to gain a boost from it. The best are probably Poison Jab, Rock Slide and the elemental punches, although Nidoking's attack stat is already so high that it can safely use moves with no added effects such as Megahorn and Earthquake (especially since it's STAB due to Nidoking's secondary ground typing). Thrash is an option, but doesn't counter any other types, and Brick Break and Shadow Claw are a little too weak for Nidoking to make good use of them. Finally we have Head Smash as an egg move, but this isn't STAB, doesn't get the power bonus from Sheer Force and does half the damage Nidoking dealt to its opponent to itself.

Old-ass official art of Nidoran♀ (left) and Nidoran♂ (right). Nidoran♀'s poison is
so venomous that only a scratch from its horn or a drop of poison is deadly.
Nidoran♂ has the ability to detect sounds with ears that contain unique muscles
that allow it to be moved in any direction, flapping them when it hears enemies
approaching.

By the way, do you want more proof of Nidoking's superiority? Its tail causes metal towers to fall over and Nidoking uses it to smash, constrict or break a prey's bones or to create distance between it and its foes in battles before it charges, while its horn is so hard that it can pierce a diamond. Also, IT IS PURPLE!!! Just like Baragon, by the way, which is a purple dinosaur-like creature from old Japanese kaijū movies - a film genre that is all about monsters and strange beasts that fight each other or attack big cities; Godzilla, for example - with bunny-like ears and a big horn on its head and the ability to burrow through earth.

All in all, the entire Nido family are great additions to the Pokémon world, especially since they're the first Pokémon that show gender differences. In fact, they were basically the only ones that were assigned a gender in Red, Blue and Yellow, because the rest of the Pokémon didn't get a gender until the second generation, when the concept of breeding was introduced. As Nidoqueen and Nidoking are two entirely seperate Pokémon in both appearance and flavor, and considering the fact that these two Nidos aren't quite equally as interesting to me, I am going to rate them separately.

Rating Nidoqueen: 4/5

Rating Nidoking: 5/5

#172, #25 - #26: Pichu, Pikachu & Raichu

Unbelievably adorable Pichu fan art.

While in previous entries I didn't even know what the hell I had to write and tried to fill some 'gaps', I don't even know where to begin  right now.

Let's start with the fact that the headline of this entry starts with the number 172. That is, of course, the Gen. II Pokémon Pichu, the pre-evolution of first-generation Pokémon Pikachu and Raichu. It is not even skilled at using its electricity, even though it can zap adult humans while surprising itself at the same time. In that regard, Pichu is a danger to humanity and its own species alike, and I think it should be kept in an electricity-proof cage until it evolves into Pikachu. Then again, that probably wouldn't work as it evolves with high friendship, and I don't think locking it up is contributory to a good friendship in the first place. Anyway, Pichu is a baby Pokémon, and along with breeding, baby Pokémon were introduced in Gen. II and it wouldn't be until after Gen. IV that Game Freak would stop adding new baby forms of previously introduced Pokémon. Baby Pokémon are the product of breeding and can be obtained by having their evolutions breed with one of their species or with another Pokémon from the same egg group. That excludes baby Pokémon, because they cannot breed themselves and all automatically belong to the 'Undiscovered' egg group.

Technically, this feature makes Riolu and Togepi baby Pokémon as well, even though I would personally like to see them as basic Pokémon, as they were introduced alongside their evolutions in the same generation (the second and fourth, respectively). I want to believe baby Pokémon were introduced to appeal to girls as well, by adding more cuteness to the franchise. That definitely worked, because baby Pokémon are generally cute, pink and/or cuddly, with the notable exception of Tyrogue, and are useless most of the time. Pichu, however, gets one feature that actually makes it - or its evolutions Pikachu and Raichu, rather - quite useful, but I'll get to that later in this entry.

The Pichu evolution line: Pichu (front), Pikachu (middle) and
Raichu (back). 

Well, then it is time to move on to what is unquestionably the most well-known Pokémon in existence: Pikachu. This is not without a reason, though, because it has appeared as Ash's sidekick in the anime series since the very first episode. Well, it didn't actually start to act like Ash's sidekick until the episode after that, but let's not be nitpicky about that. We all know the story anyway: Ash gets to become a rookie Pokémon Trainer, but on the day he gets to pick his first Pokémon - Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, which he obtains a little later on in the series, anyway - he arrives late at Professor Oak's lab, and by that time there is only one Pokémon left: Pikachu. It doesn't listen to Ash at first, regularly zapping him with Thunder Shocks, but after Pikachu gets hurt by a horde of vicious Spearow, Ash snitches Misty's bicycle and rushes to a nearby Pokémon Center. From that moment on, Ash and Pikachu have been inseparable. During the course of the anime, Ash's Pikachu has shown a lot of personality: it has a love for ketchup, is sometimes seen in a bad mood, once refused to evolve into Raichu when Ash offered it a Thunder Stone, had temporarily lost its memories and sided with Team Rocket during the Hoenn saga, has been seen mediating and even breaking up fights among other Pokémon, and even acted as a guardian and big brother to Misty's weak Togepi. As a result of having been Ash's main Pokémon for, like, an eternity, it is probably the only Pokémon that has appeared in almost every episode and movie so far, if not actually every episode and movie.

There was a reason why Pikachu was on the logo of
the 10th anniversary of Pokémon.

Another reason why Pikachu is the most well-known Pokémon is that it has been the mascot of the Pokémon franchise since the franchise took off in 1996. On itself, Pikachu isn't such an overly strong Pokémon, but it really doesn't need to be. As the Pokémon mascot, it has to be recognized by every living being on this goddamn planet. I mean, not everyone can say that they know Sceptile, Luxray, Klinklang or Avalugg, but almost everyone has heard of Pikachu. Naturally, Ash's Pikachu has played a very big part in that, as it shows up in virtually every episode, getting Ash out of trouble time and time again. So it isn't without a reason that Pikachu shows up on banners and commercials announcing or representing official Pokémon events, such as the Pokémon National and World Championships - at which video game and TCG competitions are held annually, enabling candidates to win a scholarship of $10,000 or $25,000, respectively - and even the 10th anniversary of Pokémon. A series of events were held across the entire United States and even reached countries on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean (including the Netherlands, my native country), a special anime episode called "The Mastermind of Mirage Pokémon" was made for this special occasion, and the chicken-producing company Perdue Farms distributed promotional mini-discs in their packages of chicken breast nuggets. The promotion they carried out featured three different mini-discs, each containing one of three games, a Pokédex of only one of three generations depending on which disc you had, and a "Learn to Play" demo of TCG (Trading Card Game). And all this time, Pikachu was the 'face' of this whole promotional stunt.

Pikachu has been on a strict diet since 1996, in official art (left) as well as in the
video game sprites (right).

Pikachu is also notorious for the changes it has undergone since it appeared as a fat, yellow mouse thing in Red and Blue (Green in Japan). During the past twenty years, Pikachu has gradually been losing weight, drastically changing its appearance in both official Ken Sugimori art and the video games. In the image above you can see the 'evolution' of Pikachu throughout the years; it is noticeable that Pikachu has gotten slimmer. That's not the only change Pikachu could have had, though: in 2013, there was a discussion going on about whether Game Freak would dare add the fairy type to Pichu, Pikachu and Raichu, especially after Dedenne (an electric/fairy-type Pikachu clone resembling Raichu) was revealed. Thank God Game Freak didn't do that to our beloved mascot, because changing its typing would have been way too much of a change for such a well-known Pokémon.

In every generation a new Pikachu clone was introduced: Pichu
in Gen. II, Plusle and Minun in Gen. III (top left), Pachirisu in
Gen. IV (top right), Emolga in Gen. V (bottom right) and Dedenne
in Gen. VI (bottom left).

Furthermore, Pikachu's popularity has risen to such an extent that Game Freak found it necessary to produce a new Pikachu clone every generation. That's right, every generation contained a new electric-type rodent Pokémon with features that so strongly resemble Pikachu that it's just obvious they're 'clones' - or remakes, if you will. Although one could argue whether or not Pichu should be considered a Pikachu clone, as it is technically Pikachu's pre-evolution, many people do consider Pichu as such and thus it is the Pikachu clone of the second generation. We shouldn't be picky about that, it was introduced in the generation after Pikachu, after all. All of the generations after that saw the introduction of electric rodents as well. Gen. III even added two more mice to the list: Plusle and Minun, which are supposed to be opposites (plus and minus), but are obviously related. Gen. IV introduced the electric-type squirrel Pachirisu and Gen. V has the flying squirrel Emolga, which is the first dual-type Pikachu clone. The last one is Dedenne, introduced in Gen. VI, and has the fairy typing on top of its primary electric typing. Why that is? Beats me.

ORAS introduced the feature of Cosplay Pikachu. The different
forms clockwise: Pop Star, Ph.D., Libre, Rock Star, and Belle.

Anyway, enough with the clones and the mascot thing. How does Pikachu do in the video games? Well... not half bad, to be honest. It is uncommon (rare, even) to see a Pikachu in the competitive scene, but it can deliver a damn good job if you know how to use it. You should at least have it hold a Light Ball, which doubles its attack and special attack stats, effectively making its attack stat of 458 at level 100 higher than most other Pokémon. Its moves are also worthwhile. Pichu is the only baby Pokémon that can learn a special move when one of its parents is holding a Light Ball: Volt Tackle. With a base power of 120, it is an insanely strong physical-based electric-type move that hits HARD when used by Light Ball Pikachu (just mind the recoil damage). It also learns Brick Break and Iron Tail, and even some decent special-based moves if you want to go that way. Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire even introduced a nice new feature: a Cosplay Pikachu given to you by a non-player character. Depending on which form you dress it into, Cosplay Pikachu learns a special move, of which Rock Star and Belle learn the most useful ones (Meteor Mash and Icicle Crash, respectively; the others get Draining Kiss, Electric Terrain and Flying Press).

This piece of Pikachu fan art is too cute not to share with you guys. 

Pikachu has no durability, however, because its defenses suck and its base speed of 90 is, compared to that of other Pokémon, only mediocre. If only Pikachu could take a hit... Raichu, who can store more than 100,000 volts of electricity and discharges them into the ground via its tail before it can get agressive, is faster and far more capable of taking hits, especially when special-based. However, both of its attacking stats are only decent compared to Light Ball Pikachu. Also, Pikachu receives much more attention than Raichu, not in the least because it's the friggin' Pokémon mascot. It even got a couple of video games of its own, for heaven's sake. All three of them are lovable enough, however, and Pikachu is even one of my favorite Pokémon, for all of the reasons stated above.

Rating Pikachu: 5/5

Rating Raichu: 4/5