#341 - #342: Corphish & Crawdaunt

Corphish in what looks like the wrong habitat. 

A common misconception I noticed among Pokémon fans is that that they think Corphish is based on some kind of crab or lobster, probably because these animals are more well-known than crayfish, the actual animal Corphish is based on - or, more specifically, the red swamp crayfish. Crayfish are a type of edible crustaceans that are similar to lobsters, sure, but they're something different: they are usually smaller, live in freshwater - Corphish live in ponds found in Petalburg City and Routes 102 and 117, and you can fish them up with a Good Rod or Super Rod - and are more commonly used for home cooking, as opposed to lobsters being considered an expensive delicacy you'll order when you're in a chic restaurant. Corphish, however, won't have none of this kitchen shit, lobster or crayfish. It's a violent Pokémon that will drive out the original inhabitants of a specific area and claim the territory for its own, subsequently defending it from anyone or anything who dares invade it, hence this Pokémon's classification as the 'Ruffian Pokémon'. The reference to a certain species of crayfish that is seen as an invasive pest and has been causing trouble for Japan's wildlife for decades couldn't have been more obvious here. Corphish were originally imported to Hoenn as pets, however, making these Pokémon the first exotic species in the National Pokédex. Eventually turning up in the wild, they quickly proliferated and adapted to any environment, whether it be polluted or not.

Ash Ketchum had a Corphish, too. The dumbass never evolved it. 

The only thing I don't understand about Corphish is the military theme in its English and Asian names. First and foremost, Corphish is derived from 'corps' - which is the term for a branch of military serviceman and is pronounced as 'core' - or maybe 'corporal'. As for the origin of its names in Northeast Asia, well... its Japanese name Heigani (ヘイガニ) derives from hei and its Korean name Gazegun (가재군) from gun, both meaning 'army' or 'troops', but its ridiculously lengthy Chinese name of Lóngxiāxiǎobīng (龍蝦小兵) originates from xiǎobīng and suggests Corphish is a foot soldier. It doesn't really make sense to me, because being a police officer or a military servant requires possessing a certain perception of obedience, reservation and discipline that Corphish - and definitely its evolution Crawdaunt - tremendously lacks. I don't get it and I probably never will, but at least Game Freak were going for something here...

Crawdaunt looks savage. 

However, Corphish is next to nothing compared to Crawdaunt. The latter is so violent and short-tempered that it is compelled to constantly challenge other living things to battle. No other Pokémon dare inhabit its territory because of this habit. Not that they get a chance to do that, because if Crawdaunt senses something venturing too close to it or its nest, it will pinch the trespasser and toss them out of its pond by using its sharp pincers or crash into them with full force. A veteran Crawdaunt that has prevailed in hundreds of battles has giant pincers marked with countless scars. It can be quite vulnerable, however, as it molts its shell on a regular basis and hides in its streambed burrow to hide from its foes when its new shell is still soft and tender. This shell may be based on Batesian mimicry in association with Sharpedo - another water/dark type introduced in the same generation - as it resembles an open shark mouth with a yellow star on the nose, just like Sharpedo's scar. However, Batesian mimicry is a form of mimicry where a harmless species has evolved to imitate the warning signals of a harmful species directed at a predator of them both, and Crawdaunt can by no means be called harmless. Oh, well... In general, though, Crawdaunt is a relatively big and powerful Pokémon extremely prone to malice, making it a perfect secondary dark type. Because of its size and type, Crawdaunt may actually be based on a lobster, which is comparatively big when you put them next to crayfish - although Crawdaunt still live in ponds rather than saltwater and its name is derived from 'crawdad' or 'crawfish', which are just alternative names for 'crayfish'.

Crawdaunt as seen in TCG. 

Some of Crawdaunt's flavor can be found back in its in-game stats, though, as it possesses an incredible attack stat and some moderate defensive qualities on the physical side of the spectrum. Unfortunately, it is not fast or specially defensive at all; instead, some of these much-needed base points go to its unnecessarily high special attack. It's not sky-high, but it's pretty damn good, which is a shame considering the fact you're only going to utilize its physical strength. It's inevitable, because its physical attack is so much higher than its special attack and its physical movepool so much better than its special one. First off, Crawdaunt has access to an egg move called Dragon Dance, a move that increases its attack and speed by one stage each when used. Secondly, Aqua Jet is a water-type priority move that hits relatively hard after a couple of Dragon Dance boosts. Next, Knock Off is a dark-type move that deals double the damage if the opponent is holding an item. For some STAB moves that are more reliable you can always fall back on moves like Crunch, Waterfall and Crabhammer, although you could opt for some nice type coverage: Crawdaunt learns moves like X-Scissor, Rock Slide, Superpower, Brick Break and Aerial Ace.

Because of Dragon Dance - or, alternatively, Swords Dance - and Aqua Jet, you can consciously run an Adamant Crawdaunt with a Life Orb (makes Crawdaunt lose 10% of its health each turn in return for a bit more power) or a Focus Sash (leaves Crawdaunt at 1 HP when attacked at full HP). As far as abilities go, its two regular abilities Hyper Cutter and Shell Armor aren't worth your while. Sure, no critical hits (Shell Armor) or decreases in its attack (Hyper Cutter) seem like nice little side effects, and the former certainly is, but its hidden ability Adaptability boosts the power of its STAB moves even further, which makes Crawdaunt a force to be reckoned with.

This is actually some nice realistic fan art of Crawdaunt and its little baby
Corphishies. The barnacles on its body are kinda inaccurate, though, as most
barnacles are saltwater crustaceans.

I absolutely love Crawdaunt and I think it is definitely one of the better Pokémon based on a crustacean - it's more appealing than fucking Crabominable, that's for sure. I even used one in an Omega Ruby playthrough and it was the true MVP of the team, rocking a devastating Swords Dance set. I'd say it's up there with Clawitzer, but the dark typing gives it a certain edge to it that I like.

Rating: 5/5

#338: Solrock

Being based on the sun rather than the moon, Solrock is Lunatone's more physically oriented version counterpart, even though it's stylistically very different. While I do love Lunatone, I think Solrock has a better design overall, as it's busier and more colorful. Also, Solrock looks like it's chronically suspicious and that's an attitude I can stand behind at all times.

Solrock (above) and Lunatone (under).

Whereas Lunatone extracts its power from the light of the full moon, though, Solrock thrives on solar energy, which it absorbs in groups during the light of day. That energy is then used by rotating its body at high velocity to generate intense heat and a blinding light, which is probably the reason why this Pokémon is able to learn a plethora of fire-type moves - to such an extent, even, that it is among the few Pokémon that are not ghost or fire types to learn Will-O-Wisp. This characteristic, along with its ability to learn moves like Stealth Rock and Morning Sun and its relatively high HP and defense, is the reason why Solrock is most commonly used as a physical wall or screen setter (Reflect and Light Screen and the like) in competitive play, although it's not a fantastic competitive Pokémon in the first place. Like Lunatone, Solrock is a rock/psychic type and that means that it doesn't receive STAB from the many fire-type moves it can learn. What's more, most of them are special moves. Only Flare Blitz - which it got as a level-up move only recently, in Pokémon Sun and Moon - is physical and, on top of that, it deals recoil damage. Also, it doesn't have access to any physical psychic-type move, unless you breed for a perfect Solrock on Omega Ruby or Alpha Sapphire and take it to one of the Move Tutors at the Battle Resort to teach it Zen Headbutt (or Iron Head, but Solrock doesn't really need that move). Fortunately, this Pokémon is a great asset in a playthrough, being able to learn great moves like Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Flare Blitz, Acrobatics (works best when Solrock isn't holding an item) and, strangely enough, even the much-valued Earthquake.

It's a rock that floats, though. How can a levitating meteorite make the ground shake?

Pretty cool drawing of Solrock.

Frankly, I've never even used a Solrock in any playthrough, ever. It's a shame, really, because I've come to love Solrock's alien design and emotionless expression. Too bad its flavor isn't anything special: even though it looks like it's perpetually expressionless, it is able to sense the emotions and thoughts of others, but this is a trait I've seen in other Pokémon as well and I can't say I'm very impressed by it. Gardevoir does this whole sense-of-emotion thing better, anyway. Still, it's weird and interestingly designed Pokémon like Solrock that give Gen. III some redemption, because it looks like Game Freak wanted to annoy us more than ever, giving us dumb and atrocious Pokémon like Pelipper, Spinda, Luvdisc, Castform and even more useless baby Pokémon such as Azurill and Wynaut. And not only did Game Freak do nothing special with Lunatone and Solrock in Pokémon Sun and Moon - the celestial bodies these Pokémon are based on are in the names of the new games - they weren't even available until after Sun and Moon's compatibility with Pokémon Bank almost two months later. Well, then.

Rating: 5/5

#336: Seviper

So, in a one-on-one battle, who would have the upper hand; Zangoose or Seviper?

Seviper is a savage.

I would want it to be Seviper, and the image on the right certainly gives the impression it does indeed have the upper hand against Zangoose. However, Seviper is frail and Zangoose is strong and relatively fast compared to its version counterpart, which means that Zangoose will most certainly knock Seviper out before the latter even has the chance to set its venomous fangs into its opponent. Real-life mongooses are skilled snake killers as well, so go figure. Provided Seviper can live a hit, though, it can hardly retaliate with a stronger move. The best STAB move it has is Poison Jab, although in this case I'm not even counting TMs and egg moves and the like. I'm overcome by sadness just by saying this, but even in the competitive metagame Seviper never amounts to anything. It has great offensive stats, but poor defensive stats and very lackluster speed, which makes it easy prey for faster and stronger Pokémon. It's a shame, because it has such a good and diverse offensive movepool on both sides of the spectrum to make use of: Poison Jab (I hope you didn't get me wrong; it is a good move), Night Slash, Crunch, Knock Off, Earthquake, Sludge Wave, Sludge Bomb, Flamethrower, Giga Drain, X-Scissor, Dark Pulse, Dragon Tail, Iron Tail and Aqua Tail. Wanna go special? Great, Seviper even has a recovery move in Giga Drain. Wanna go physical? Awesome, Seviper loves to go physical, as you can see in the image above. Wanna go mixed? It'll be little tricky nature-wise, but it's a possibility for sure.

TCG art of Seviper.

And should you decide to use Seviper on your team, you have two great abilities to choose from: Shed Skin has a 30% chance to cure Seviper of status conditions such as paralysis, burn and poison, which is handy when your opponent is constantly throwing moves like Thunder Wave, Will-O-Wisp and Toxic all in your face, but Infiltrator ignores the effects of moves like Reflect, Light Screen and Substitute. While both have their uses, Infiltrator is a little better and doesn't restrain Seviper from attacking at full power, especially if it's holding a Life Orb. My advice to you is to be cautious with that item, though, as it wears Seviper down faster than a Ninjask throwing its first attack at its opponent.

A more realistic approach on Seviper, which makes
it look more like one of those pitvipers called habu.

But the thing I really want to talk to you about is Seviper's design, of which I am a HUGE fan. Its sleek and slender body is usually depicted scrunched up like an accordion, and the moment a Seviper unfolds it body it becomes that more intimidating. Seviper is quite the colorful Pokémon, too, and I want to believe these bright colors - especially those of a shiny Seviper! - are a warning to others that this Pokémon is poisonous. I like how the purple doesn't dominate Seviper's design, by the way. Don't get me wrong: purple is my favorite color, but the subtlety of the scar-like marks - along with the red eyes, fangs, tongue and tail - somewhat gives its design a sense of urgency and makes Seviper much more aesthetically pleasing. The yellow hexagonal markings on its body look like they're coming from some ancient script and indicate that Seviper date way back, which becomes even more apparent when you realize that its feud with Zangoose has gone on for ages on end. Speaking of which, Seviper is based on a species of habu called the elegant pitviper. Habu is a Japanese name to refer to certain species of venomous snakes that were often pitted against mongooses in roadside shows, but this practice is now considered inhumane and is rarely seen today. They're all interesting things for a Pokémon to be based on, but it's a pity Seviper's Pokédex entries weren't developed as much as its design and origin. Of course, most of these entries only mention its ongoing rivalry with Zangoose, countering Zangoose's 'dazzling agility' with its sword-like tail, which Seviper constantly polishes to make it edgier and also oozes a horrible poison. Not that it works much, as Zangoose have become immune to Seviper's poison anyway.

Also, Seviper's FireRed and LeafGreen entries state that it likes to strike unwary prey with its venomous fangs, but the anime has also shown it viciously killing its prey by constriction and asphyxiation only to cut it into a thousand small pieces with its honed tail.

Okay, maybe not that, but it sure coils around its opponents to immobilize them during battles.

Seviper in the anime.

If you have been paying attention, you should probably know by now what Seviper's rating's going to be. I've absolutely come to adore this Pokémon since I used one in my only Alpha Sapphire playthrough, and that adoration has never faded. Its sleek design, the subtle purple, its menacing look, its origin... I love (almost) everything about Seviper. In my humble opinion, Game Freak even managed to make it look more intimidating than Arbok, and with that face pattern on its body Arbok is supposed to be quite the intimidating Pokémon.

P.S.: Which genius ever came up with that Pokémon Trainer's Choice in the anime episode "A Fan with a Plan", episode 37 of the seventh season? Seviper was incorrectly claimed to be an evolution of Arbok, which is... moronity to the nth degree.

Rating: 5/5

#333 - #334: Swablu & Altaria

Do you remember that in Flygon's entry I said I like the other not-so-dragon-like Pokémon in Hoenn better? Yeah? Well, this is what I was talking about.

It's an uncommon occurrence that the first image in a review is a
realistic take on a Pokémon, but I had to include this. It's just so
nicely drawn. 

Granted, Swablu is yet another bird with the generic normal/flying typing, but it certainly doesn't look the part. Incomparable with actual generic birds like Pidgey, Spearow, Starly, Farfetch'd, Pidove, Taillow and a whole bunch of other plain-looking birds I'm probably forgetting right now, Swablu seems to be based on a combination of real-life avian creatures. Its blue skin indicates it might be inspired from the bluebird or the blue jay, while its tendency to land on people's heads and pretend it's a hat might be a reference to the gray jay, as both wild Swablu and the gray jay get easily accustomed to humans. Swablu's wings look like clouds but are actually made of a cottony substance, which manifests itself in the fact that Swablu learns the grass-type move Cotton Guard, which increases its defense stat by a whopping three stages. Fun fact: I solemnly believed Cotton Guard was introduced in Gen. III and that it used to be Swablu and Altaria's signature move until it was given to other Pokémon in later generations. I was wrong, because it was introduced in Gen. V and given to quite a couple of Pokémon right away. The things you learn when doing research for review articles, goddamn... Cotton Guard or no, Swablu dislikes dirty surroundings, so it will wipe and polish something dirty with the cotton tufts it has for wings, which it then cleans in streams and freshwater. In that regard, Swablu's name is a nice reference to the cotton swabs used for sanitary purposes.

A heap of adorable little Swablu. Cuteness overload. 

Interestingly, Swablu's Japanese and French names of Tyltto (チルット) and Tylton, respectively, refer to entirely different things. For starters, Tyl is an alternative name given to Epsilon Draconis, a star in the constellation Draco, and is often used in the literature. Draco is Latin for 'dragon' and the fact that Swablu's Japanese and French names refer to this specific constellation may be a forshadowing of what typing it gets upon evolution, although I'll get to that later. Also, Tyltto and Tylton may be a reference to the play L'Oiseau Bleu ("The Blue Bird") by Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck, a story about two siblings - Mytyl and Tyltyl - who are tasked with finding the 'blue bird of happiness'.

Also, Swablu's Mandarin Chinese name Qīngmiánniǎo (青綿鳥) literally means 'blue cotton-flossed bird'. I can't even...

A mother (or father?) Altaria with her adorable baby Swablu.

Swablu doesn't always stay an adorable little Swablu, however, and it evolves into Altaria at level 35. Altaria looks like it could have been yet another normal/flying type, if it weren't for the fact that Game Freak actually granted it the dragon type upon evolution. Pretty much like Flygon, it doesn't look like it's a dragon type, but its typing does come with a couple of benefits - and disadvantages, too, while we're at it. More on that later, though, as I want to start with Altaria's origin, which is a little bit more complex than Swablu's. First and foremost, its name is derived from alto or altus - the respective Italian and Latin words for 'high' - and aria, which is Italian for 'air'. The thing is that Altaria likes to use its buoyant wings to catch updrafts and soar across the sky, gracefully gliding through the clouds - its coloration provides it perfect camouflage, I'd dare say - and singing or humming tunes in a gorgeous soprano voice while doing so. In addition, its voice seems to have special properties that induce a dreamy state in listeners. Therefore, its name might be a reference to an aria, originally a term for any expressive musical melody but now a term used exclusively to describe a self-contained piece for one voice, usually in opera.

Altaria soaring through the skies, accompanied by a bunch of Swablu. There is even
a shiny Swablu thrown into the mix (bottom right). And let's be honest here: Swablu
and Altaria definitely have some of the prettiest shinies out there. 

But I'm not done yet. Altaria is clearly derived from Altair, the predominantly literary name for Alpha Aquilae, the brightest star in the constellation Aquila. This becomes apparent when you take a look at Altaria's Mandarin Chinese name Qīxìqīngniǎo (七夕青鳥), which is a reference to the before-mentioned stage play by that Belgian dramatist and the annually held Qixi - or Qiqiao - Festival. This festival originated from the tale of The Weaver Girl and the Cowherd, a love story featuring the two titular characters symbolizing the stars Altair and Vega - the latter being Alpha Lyrae, the brightest star in the constellation of Lyra.

Now, I need to stop with these stars and constellations before I start seeing stars myself.

Official Sugimori art of Mega Altaria.

Let's move this review forward by discussing Altaria's competitive utility. In itself, Altaria isn't very good. Its great base 90 defense and 105 special defense are backed up by an alright base 75 HP stat, which makes it a moderately bulky Pokémon, but its attacking stats are mediocre and its speed isn't very high, either. Smogon mentions several offensive sets, but I wouldn't use Altaria for that at all. You see, its bulk, Natural Cure ability and movepool allow it to be used as a very handy support Pokémon: Heal Bell cures all status conditions your team has caught, Tailwind doubles the speed of your entire team for four turns, Roost can be used to heal half of Altaria's HP, Haze resets all stat stages of both Pokémon on the battlefield to 0 again, Cotton Guard raises Altaria's already good defense stat to ridiculous levels (especially with a Bold or Impish nature), Substitute creates a substitute in exchange for 25% of its HP, and the Toxic/Protect combo is a classic stalling tactic. Altaria becomes a real star - excuse the pun - when it Mega-evolves, gaining yet another type combination: the unique dragon/fairy. This time, however, it has good offensive and defensive stats, meaning the damage output when you let Altaria Mega-evolve is significantly higher than when you're using a regular one. Its speed stat stays the same, which is kind of a shame, but you'll have Dragon Dance to take care of that, anyway. Moves that go with that are Earthquake, Return (the Pixilate ability of Mega Altaria turns every normal-type move into a fairy-type move) and either Outrage or Dragon Claw, and the preferred nature to back up this moveset is Jolly or Adamant. It has some steel-type coverage in Steel Wing and Iron Tail, and while I think the steel type is rad, these moves are barely worth it.

Also, considering a special moveset supported by Roost might not be a terrible idea, either. Altaria's special movepool is wider than its physical one, boasting moves like Dragon Pulse, Moonblast, Dazzling Gleam, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Heat Wave, Hyper Voice, Ice Beam, Solar Beam and all types of Hidden Power, but such a moveset is inarguably less effective than a Dragon Dance set.

Altaria looking savage ain't bad, either...

That doesn't take away from Altaria's awesomeness, though, and it certainly doesn't hold me back from loving this thing to death. If I could, I would keep one as a pet. Because, y'know, who wouldn't want a friendly, fluffy and huggable dragon, right? It will envelop someone whom it has bonded with in its soft, cottony wings and then hum with a warm, soothing voice, and I would lie if I said I wouldn't want to experience that. The following rating of 5 whole stars shouldn't be a surprise to y'all, should it?

P.S.: For some reason I kept misspelling Swablu as 'Swablue' throughout the whole article, and I have no idea why. I've known its name since 2003, so it shouldn't have been a problem spelling its name.

P.P.S.: Bulbapedia states that Altaria is based on Peng birds, ginormous birds from Chinese mythology capable of flying 3000 li (Chinese miles) in one flap of their mighty, cloud-like wings. I don't think Altaria resembles those creatures at all, especially when you consider these Peng birds are usually portrayed having a fish's head and whiskers.

Rating: 5/5

#320 - #321: Wailmer & Wailord

Damn. It's not often I'm putting out reviews three days in a row, so don't get too used to this. It's just that I'm living in one of the southern provinces of the Netherlands, where they're celebrating this idiotic annual thing called carnaval - 'our' version of events before Lent and generally speaking just a lame excuse for dumb people to dress up Halloween style, attend stupid float parades and get drunk, all while singing terrible and cringeworthy carnaval songs. Most people celebrating it aren't even devout Christians in the first place; for them it's just a reason to party hard five days in a fucking row. Me? I'm frantically trying to avoid it until it comes to an end tomorrow, so that's why I'm hiding in my cave writing reviews about video game monsters instead of socializing. I have no life whatsoever.

Brendan traveling underwater on a Wailmer. 

Well, at least I can catch up a little now and we've bumped into one of my favorite Hoenn Pokémon sooner than I had expected. I guess that's the case because Wailmer can be caught with a Good Rod - which you can get from a Fisherman on the immediately accessible part of Route 118 next to Mauville City - fairly early on in your Ruby/Sapphire playthrough. Honestly, I don't even care all that much about Wailmer; it's a perfectly round whale with a perfectly stupid grin on its face. The teeth aren't even real teeth; they're baleen (or whalebone) plates and serve as a filter-feeder system inside the mouth of baleen whales. The system works by a whale opening its mouth underwater and taking in water, after which the whale pushes the water out and animals such as krill and plankton are filtered by the baleen and remain as a food source for the whale. That doesn't seem to be working for Wailmer at all, because this Pokémon likes to store seawater in its body and the more water filling it, the higher it can bounce. You'd think it'd bounce better when it doesn't have so much water in its body, because Wailmer is taller than an average human being and therefore relatively heavy (almost 287 pounds), but this doesn't seem to be the case at all. It likes to be a bouncing ball, too, because it is often found on beaches playing with other people and even startling them by suddenly spouting water from its nostrils slash blowholes - I'm not even sure which one it is, because all kinds of sources, including its official Pokédex entries, seem to use these two interchangably.

Gym Leader Marlon's Wailord, with Marlon and Ash standing
right on top of it.

Whereas Wailmer likes to be a jerk, though, Wailord likes to entertain people by leaping out of the water, thereby creating gigantic and breathtaking pillars of water. It does so when it searches for food and chases it, which it does in groups called pods, and one specimen can gulp down an entire school of Wishiwashi whole. Well, even the biggest Pokémon of all has to eat, right? That's right, at an enormous 47'07", Wailord has been the tallest Pokémon since it was introduced in Gen. III. Up to this day, not a single Pokémon came even remotely close to Wailord; at a height of 35'09", Alolan Exeggutor made a brave attempt this generation, exceeding Mega Rayquaza's height (35'05") by only a small margin. If you really want to see an image for scale, take a look at the image directly above and argue with me that Wailord isn't huge. I dare you. Surprisingly enough, this big boy is relatively light, weighing 'only' 877 pounds, which is much less than certain other Pokémon that aren't quite as tall as Wailord. Then again, there's no way Wailord are taller or heavier than the animals it was inspired by, blue whales - the largest and heaviest known animals to ever exist on this planet. That would have been way too complicated. Just saying.

Also, I shouldn't have expected Wailord to be so heavy, after all, as it is known as the 'Float Whale Pokémon'. That does not indicate that it's a heavyweight at all, right? In fact, it only enhances the thought that Wailord may be based on a blimp of some sort, or maybe a torpedo (man, Game Freak had a thing with torpedoes in Gen. III; this is the second Pokémon in a row that is based or may be based on such a thing).

Wailord swallowing ocean water like it's nobody's business.
This image contains TCG art from the Diamond and Pearl era.

But can this blimp (torpedo?) hold its own in the competitive scene? Well... not exactly. Despite its base stat total of 500, of which 170 go to its HP, it sits in Smogon's PU tier, the lowest tier with fully evolved Pokémon. That massive HP stat seems nice, but its defenses are a base 45 each and don't really complement it. On top of that, Wailord is quite slow and its attacking stats are 'only' a base 90 each, which isn't very strong. I used a physical-based Wailord in my Omega Ruby playthrough myself - Waterfall, Bounce, Heavy Slam and Earthquake proved to be as effective a moveset as any - but that won't quite cut it here. It's best to let it set up an Aqua Ring (very effective when Wailord is holding the Leftovers), after which it can PP-stall by setting up a Substitute or preventing any damage at all by using Protect. Further helping your tactic of PP-stalling is Wailord's hidden ability Pressure, which deducts one additional PP every time Wailord is targeted by the foe. Water Veil prevents burns, which isn't necessary, and Oblivious prevents confusion, which is even less necessary, so Pressure really is the best ability to go for. The only thing is the EV spread. It's up to you whether you want to max out Wailord's HP, but as its HP is massive already and its defenses do need quite the boost, I'd max out its defense and special defense stats - a Bold or Calm nature would go really well with that - and put the remaining four EVs in special attack so that it can hit slightly harder with Scald. This move may inflict a burn on the foe, by the way, further whittling it down, and it's Wailord's main source of direct damage, so definitely keep it around.

Wailord as seen in Super Smash Bros.

I didn't come to love Wailord until I used one in my before-mentioned Omega Ruby playthrough, and I still don't understand why I didn't like it before. It has a simple but effective design and flavor, and the fact that it is still the biggest Pokémon in existence actually makes a lot of sense and really adds up to its whole concept. Game Freak didn't go overboard with this one - in fact, they even toned it down for once. And that's a positive thing, I can tell you that much.

Rating: 5/5

#307 - #308: Meditite & Medicham

Hoenn is home to some of the weirdest Pokémon in the franchise. Exploud is one of them, but Medicham is pretty fucking weird as well, with even a weirder Mega to boot. Fortunately, it's exactly the kind of weird that I like about Exploud, so prepare yourselves for some serious gushing and raving here.

Official art of Meditite, created by Ken Sugimori. I wish I could
say that I like it, but the onion-shaped head and curled ears are
actually a bit dumb. Also, its eyes are way out of proportion. 

First off, there's Meditite. Y'know, the mediocrity that is called a pre-evolution? That is to say, there are only a few pre-evos that appeal to me more than their final forms - Pikachu, Dragonair and Spheal, for example - and Meditite ain't one of them. Its flavor is quite original for a fighting-type Pokémon, though, and I like it well enough: Meditite usually sits in a yoga position, heightening its inner energy and spiritual power through meditation in order for it to levitate. In yoga, this position is called the Lotus position - or Padmāsana - and supposedly holds the mind completely steady for long periods of time and calms it. However, Meditite always loses its concentration and focus while meditating and thus its training never ends, keeping itself dedicatedly busy with rigorous meditation every day for hours on end. It only eats one berry per day as part of its spiritual training, as it is said that enduring hunger results in a tempered spirit and a sharper mind. Of course, these characteristics explain why Meditite also has the secondary psychic typing on top of its fighting type and why its only regular ability is Pure Power, which doubles its actual attack stat. It's basically Huge Power, but for weird humanoid yoga Pokémon - to this day, the ability is exclusive to Meditite and Medicham.

Medicham is ready to kick some ass! 

The latter of which is one of my favorite Pokémon for a reason, by the way. Instead of having an onion head, like Meditite, Medicham looks like it is wearing a turban - or at least some kind of Arabian headgear. It seems to be based on a couple of deities from the Hindu religion, of which meditation is a prominent aspect, but the bedlah pants and the headgear that resembles a shāl (shawl; compare the Dutch word sjaal, which means 'scarf') give Medicham the appearance of Arabian belly dancers, while the headpiece growth on top of its head resembles a ponytail that can be seen on Persian genies in American fiction. Its flavor is also a lot more interesting than Meditite: Medicham can harness great psychokinetic powers through the practice of meditation, because it has developed a sixth sense that allows it to predict the opponent's next move. To blend it with the belly dancer thing, Medicham battles with elegant, dance-like moves so that it can dodge attacks and launch devastating blows (which is no lie). By becoming one with nature, it can merge itself with its surroundings without much difficulty and vanish, only to focus on its meditation for more than a month without any food; in fact, the deprivation of food allows it to see its opponents' auras. Did you absorb that information? Medicham deprives itself of food to enhance its sixth sense, with which it can predict what its opponent is going to do in battles. In theory, Medicham should never lose or get hit, but of course that's not how it works - not even in the anime - and I bloody damn well know that.

I like how Mega Medicham is depicted as a hieroglyph, given the
fact that its most prominent features are derived from Arabic and
Persian culture.

That is not to say, however, that you shouldn't be cautious around Medicham. Its base 60 attack stat may not look like it's powerful, but its actual attack can reach 480 at level 100 when Pure Power is applied, along with other factors like IVs, EV training and a beneficial nature. Its speed is kind of subpar, but that could easily be fixed by giving it a Choice Scarf. A Choice Band might be an option to boost its ridiculous attack stat even further, although a Life Orb boosts all of its moves without locking it into only one move until you switch it out, because its movepool is way too good for that: aside from STAB High Jump Kick and STAB Zen Headbutt, Medicham also has access to excellent coverage moves like Thunder Punch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch, Rock Slide and Poison Jab, and even priority moves like Fake Out and Bullet Punch. Drain Punch is a STAB fighting-type move that heals Medicham for half the damage done to the target and is much more reliable than High Jump Kick, as the latter may be strong (130 power!) but takes away half of Medicham's health if it misses. Drain Punch is a safer alternative, but you could also use both at the same time and fill the remaining two moveslots with Zen Headbutt and a good coverage move that perfectly suits your needs for the upcoming battle.

Medicham is awesome.

Mega Medicham (left) and its shiny form (right). Medicham - and by extension its
Mega evolution - has one of the best shiny color palettes in the games. 

But wait a minute, wait a minute... I'm not done yet! Medicham has a Mega evolution that's even more awesome than its regular form. The shawl on its head has transformed into what's obviously a turban now, the harem pants have more accessories to them (look at them frills and beads!), and behind Mega Medicham itself now float four additional arms. These ghost-like arms were formed by Mega Medicham itself by using its enhanced willpower and are more realistic and dexterous the more trained its spirit is. However, not only Mega Medicham's spirit is enhanced, its power has gone through the roof as well! Base 100 attack would normally be nothing more than just good, but Medicham retains Pure Power upon Mega-evolving and can reach an attack stat of 656 when all the right factors are into play. That's only a little bit less than Mega Mawile's attack stat when Huge Power is in effect, but the only reason why Mega Medicham didn't end up in Ubers (Smogon's legendary tier) is because it isn't able to learn Swords Dance and Mega Mawile is. Moreover, Mega Medicham is relatively frail compared to Mega Mawile, even though its decent speed stat may rescue it from getting hit first from time to time.

Mega Medicham (left) in combat with one of the best Megas ever (Mega Aggron,
right). The former has a type advantage over the latter, but I hope Mega Aggron
is winning.

I love everything about Medicham, but I love its Mega the most. It's definitely one of the weirdest Pokémon Hoenn has to offer, and it has one of the most unique Gen. III designs. I fell in love with Medicham when I used one in an Omega Ruby playthrough. It one-shotted everything, although it had a Brave nature, so it was outsped by other Pokémon more often than not.

Not that it bothered me. Much.

Anyway, it won't surprise anybody that, after all this praise, I'm giving Medicham and its Mega a deserved rating of 5 more-than-perfect little stars. Big time.

Rating: 5/5

#304 - #306: Aron, Lairon & Aggron

Now, I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass, goddamn or flying fuck about Aron and Lairon, but MAN do I love Aggron.

Adorable little Aron being adorable on its rock.

Okay, I said I would talk about every Pokémon, so let's get Aron and Lairon out of the way, shall we? It's not like I hate these Pokémon, but I just wanna talk about Aggron and its pre-evolutions are really rather unremarkable. In fact, the whole line follows a pretty generic evolutionary path: cute first stage, awkward-looking middle stage and badass final stage, even making the big bad beast stand on its hind legs. Amphibian and reptiloid Pokémon do look better when they're bipedal, anyway. Look at Charizard, Nidoking and Rhyperior, for example; I can't ever imagine them being quadrupeds. For what it is, though, Aron ain't bad and I'd dare say it's pretty cute. A cute little pest at that, as extreme hunger will sometime drive it to descend from the mountains to eat bridges or rails - if it can't find any iron ore to feed on in its natural habitat, that is. Iron ore is running out there at a rapid pace, anyway, as this iron ore is also used by Aron to construct its steel body. While Aron may not look strong, one all-out carge can completely demolish a dump truck. Lairon discards the old steel carapace covering its body when it evolves and creates an entirely new armor of steel, sturdier and more effective; it uses its newly acquired armor to bash into others of its species over territory - sparks fly when that occurs, and the sound of their collision carries for miles - or just because it wants to show off its tremendous strength. It tempers its metallic body by drinking highly nutritious mineral springwater and eating rocks rich in iron until it is bloated/stuffed.

Lairon.

But neither of these Pokémon are as badass as Aggron. The longer its horns are, the older it is, and the more wounds Aggron has, the more it has battled; the gouges in its armor from the battles it's had are even worn as mementos. It claims an entire mountain as its territory and agressively defends it against anything or anyone, even mercilessly beating up humans if it has to. But if its mountain is ravaged by a landslide or fire, it will haul the best soil to the area and plant trees there, beautifully restoring its own territory. Isn't that all kinds of adorable? To put it with the words of Bogleech here: secretly, deep in its heart, Aggron is nothing more than a big old softie, even though it is based on the iron-eating monster Bulgasari from Korean mythology. Its pre-evolutions also seem to based on this creature, but less so, and the claim that they are somehow dragon-like - check out Lairon's namesake, the word 'dragon' is all over the place - is ridiculous to me. Sure, the entire line are defined by their saurian features, but that doesn't make them dragons; they're steel/rock types, not steel/dragon types, and Aggron's Mega evolution even loses the rock type to become a pure steel type. If anything, Lairon and Aggron look more like dinosaurs.

Some explosive fan art of Aggron (above) and its
Mega form (below). 

Competitively, Aggron can be a good asset to any team when used right. With its monstrous base 180 defense and excellent base 110 attack, it can hit hard and tank physical hits. Especially the combination of an Adamant nature, a Choice Band and the ability Rock Head, which prevents any recoil damage from moves that have exactly that as a side effect, allows it to deal massive damage with a move called Head Smash. You'll have to breed it onto Aron, but it'll be worth it. On top of that, Aggron has some excellent type coverage: Heavy Slam is a STAB steel-type move that deals more damage the heavier Aggron is compared to the opposing Pokémon - even though Iron Head and Smart Strike (a move that never misses) deal fixed damage and might be more reliable - and it has access to moves of various other types, such as Earthquake, Dragon Claw, Dragon Rush, Brick Break, Superpower, Low Kick, Aqua Tail and the elemental punches (Thunder Punch, Ice Punch and Fire Punch). If you use Mega Aggron, however, another strategy is required. Because it loses the rock typing to become a pure steel type, it also loses its quadruple weaknesses to ground and fighting, which is nice. Plus, the Filter ability lets super-effective damage do 25% less on Mega Aggron than normally, substantially making it even more bulky than it already is: base 230 defense is monstrous, even tying with Shuckle and Mega Steelix for the highest base defense stat, and its base 80 special defense is also quite passable. It likes to cripple opposing Pokémon with Thunder Wave, set up Stealth Rock so that opponents take a little damage depending on their types when they're switched in, deal heavy damage with a STAB Heavy Slam (pun most definitely intended), and tank physical hits like they're flies colliding with a windshield due to an Impish nature. Mega Aggron lacks any recovery other than Rest, but it has top-notch endurance in the first place, so you don't necessarily have to worry about that.

Mega Aggron in TCG art. If you still don't think it looks like a beast, you're gonna
have to have your eyes checked. 

I absolutely adore everything about Aggron, from its flavor and design to its Mega and competitive prowess. I think it embodies the term 'monster' perfectly, even more so than Pokémon like Tyranitar and Tyrantrum and the like, but maybe I'm a little biased in that regard. Steel is my favorite type in the games, and Aggron is everything a steel type should be like: its minimalistic color palette keeps its design from becoming too busy and focuses perfectly on the steel elements of said design. Aggron's Mega evolution is even one of my favorites as well, coming third after Steelix's (obviously also a steel type) and Pidgeot's. It'll come as no surprise to anyone that I'm giving this Pokémon a perfect rating.

Rating: 5/5

#293 - #295: Whismur, Loudred & Exploud

TCG art of Whismur.

Let's do this. Let's end the year with a Boomburst.

Next on the review list are the curious Pokémon Whismur, Loudred and Exploud, who are entirely sound-themed. Rather than being inspired by real-life animals, these Pokémon don't look like any animal from the real world, although they are supposed to represent sound-based items. Whismur (from 'whisper' and 'murmur', both of which mean speaking in a very soft voice) has ears that resemble earmuffs that are used to protect one's ears against loud noises. Beneath those ears are holes that are used to inhale air, and because of this system it can cry continuously without having to catch its breath. Whismur's voice may be very soft - it's inaudible at times, even when you're paying close attention - but when it senses danger, it starts crying at an earsplitting volume equal to the noise a jet plane makes. It startles even itself when it starts crying, which results in it starting to cry harder than ever before and becoming exhausted when it stops. In addition to its earmuff system, as I'd like to call it for convenience sake, Whismur also presumably serves as an electronic amplifier as its butthole resembles an in- or output port.

Is Loudred laughing at something or someone or is it trying to
join a boyband?

And Whismur is not the only one with such a butthole. Its middle evolution also has one, although this is for a more logical reason: Loudred is supposed to resemble a boombox, a portable music system that can play music at a relatively high volume. And that is exactly what Loudred does, as it is able to shout at high volumes by inhaling air then exhaling it using powerful stomach muscles. What's more, by stomping its feet it can generate ultrasonic waves so powerful that they can tip over trucks and blow wood-frame houses to splinters. Loudred's ears serve as loudspeakers, but it will be temporarily deaf when it finishes shouting. Loudred is nothing compared to Exploud, though. Whereas Whismur looks more like a timid toddler and Loudred resembles an awkward but boisterous (pre-)teen, Exploud is the equivalent of your old neighborhood grampa shouting his lungs out at you to get off his goddamn lawn. Sharing features with a pipe organ, a musical instrument known for its loud volume, it uses the tubes on its body to violently draw in air and increase its sound-based attacks. Exploud's bellowing is capable of triggering earthquakes and can be heard from over six miles away.

Damn, I fucking LOVE this art. Such a creepy take on a pocket
monster that is already weird. 

However, Exploud emits whistle-like sounds from the tubes of its body to communicate its feelings to others and only raises its voice in battle. And that is noticable. You see, Gen. VI was very kind to Exploud, giving it access to a move only a few Pokémon can access in the first place: Boomburst. It's a 140-power normal-type move with 10 PP and no negative side effects, and a normal type like Exploud can make tremendous use of it. In fact, Exploud's Boombursts leave holes in entire teams, especially when it is holding the Choice Specs and rocking a Modest nature. It doesn't even matter whether the hit is resisted or not, or whether a specially bulky Pokémon is taking the hit or not, or even whether the victim is a ghost type or not; Boomburst is devastating and the Scrappy ability lets Exploud use normal- and fighting-type moves against ghost types, which would normally be immune to those types. On top of that, Exploud has excellent move coverage in Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Ice Beam, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Surf, Extrasensory and even Shock Wave. Wanna get physical? Sure, why not? Its base attack of 91 is exactly the same as its base special attack, the Choice Specs can be exchanged for a Choice Band, you can slap an Adamant nature on Exploud rather than a Modest nature, and its physical move coverage is as insane as its special move coverage. Watch Exploud wreak havoc with moves like Return, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Crunch, Zen Headbutt, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch and Hammer Arm. It hits hard at both sides of the spectrum, although there is nothing as attractive as wreaking havoc with a 140-power special-based normal-type move with no negative side effects whatsoever. The only downside is that Exploud is kind of slow, which means it hardly hits first.

Exploud with its mouth closed, although it can be opened as wide as Loudred's.

Who cares, though? I've absolutely come to ADORE Exploud. I used one in a playthrough on Pokémon Y and it was by far the strongest member on my team, although a special attack-boosting nature sure helps with that. I didn't think much of Exploud before that; I even thought it was one of the ugliest and most bizarre Pokémon out there, and not the good kind at that. However, I've come to appreciate the weirdness and ugliness of its design recently, and I realize this is one of the most original Pokémon Game Freak have ever created. It's kind of a shame the butthole is replaced by something that is supposed to represent a tail of some sort, but Exploud's design is still really neat. On top of that, Exploud is a beast in competitive play; it is meant to be spamming catastrophic Boombursts and does not mind being locked into this move by Choice Specs. While not my absolute favorite, I think this Pokémon deserves a 5-star rating more than a lot of other Hoenn Pokémon.

Happy New Year, everyone!

P.S.: I like Exploud's Korean and Mandarin Chinese names of Pokumryong (폭음룡) and Bàoyīn'guài (爆音怪), respectively. The former derives from pok (a prefix for 'explosive'), eum ('sound') and ryong ('dragon') - so Exploud is basically an 'explosive sound dragon' according to the Koreans - while the latter literally means 'sonic boom monster'. I love how literal they get in Asia sometimes, while most English names are mostly a play on certain words - Exploud, for example, is a combination of the words 'loud' and 'explode' and a play on the latter.

Rating: 5/5

#280 - #282, #475: Ralts, Kirlia, Gardevoir & Gallade

You probably wonder why the hell I'm wasting my time writing an entry for Ralts and its evolutions instead of playing the fuck out of Pokémon Sun and Moon, but the answer is simple: I am one of those unfortunate souls living in Europe - the Netherlands, to be exact - and I'm impatiently waiting for the games until I hear the clanging sound of my mailbox on the 23rd of November. Might as well write a couple of articles before I'm going on a 'hiatus', I'd dare say.

3D art of Ralts. If it wasn't looking up, you wouldn't be able to see the eyes that are
usually hidden beneath its cap-like head. Or maybe it is a cap, I'm not sure.

So... Ralts. It's a strange Pokémon, because it doesn't seem to be based on anything in particular. If anything, Ralts looks kind of humanoid, resembling a child. Human children often sense when something is amiss, and Game Freak have built its design and flavor from there: Ralts uses the horns on its cap-like head to read people and Pokémon's emotions and hides when it senses hostility. It reflects the mood of the person it reads, meaning that it becomes happy when its Trainer is in a cheerful mood and gets doleful when its Trainer is in a sad mood. A wild Ralts will rarely show itself to people (which is true, as it's the rarest of the early-route Pokémon), but when it does it will only draw closer when it senses the person has a positive disposition. When it evolves into Kirlia, however, the eyes - which Ralts does in fact have but are hidden beneath its 'cap' - become clearly visible now and it looks like it's wearing a... a tutu. And it has the stance ballet dancers are commonly portrayed with.

Well, I've seen Pokémon with stranger features than those.

3D art of Kirlia, in which it seems to be performing some kind of ballet dance.

Anyhow, Kirlia's horns are used to amplify its psychokinetic power and have the ability to let reality become warped. This distortion of reality causes mirages of nonexistent scenery and can cause a rip in dimensions (would Kirlia have anything to do with the Ultra Beasts in Sun and Moon?), which allows Kirlia to see into the future. It enjoys dancing on sunny mornings (well, duh!) and is said to grow beautiful when exposed to a Trainer with positive emotions. Again, cheerfulness lies at the basis of Kirlia's powers: a happy Trainer gives it energy for its psychokinetic abilities. Also interesting is Ralts and Kirlia's namesake. While the French and German names of Ralts, Tarsal and Trasla, are anagrams of the word 'astral' and even the name Ralts has something to do with it, Kirlia's name is derived from Kirlian photography. Bulbapedia describes it as "a special way of taking pictures that supposedly reveals psychic energy auras around subjects," but it is much more scientific than that: it is a collective term for photographic techniques used to capture the phenomenon of coronal discharges, electrical discharges brought on by the ionization of a fluid surrounding a conductor that is electrically charged. The techniques are named after Semyon Kirlian, a Russian inventor and researcher of Armenian descent, hence Kirlia's name.

Incredible papercraft figures of Ralts (little one in the front),
Kirlia (left), Gardevoir (right) and Gallade (middle).

Kirlia has two ways of evolving: it evolves into Gardevoir starting at level 30 or, if male, you can expose it to a Dawn Stone and let it turn into a Gallade. Gallade was inroduced one generation later than Ralts, Kirlia and Gardevoir as an alternative evolution of Kirlia, and it is believed to be created as a counterpart to Gardevoir: the latter is a special attacker who looks like a damsel in distress, while Gallade is a physical attacker and resembles a gallant knight. Or so goes a popular fan theory, but the truth is that Gardevoir can also be male. Its Japanese name is even Sirnight
(サーナイト), which may be derived from the phrase Saa, naito! ("Come, knight!") or just simply means Sir Knight. Or both. The English name of Gardevoir is based on the French words of garde and devoir - 'guard' and 'duty', respectively - or may be a combination of garder and voir, French verbs for 'to keep' and 'to see'. This is reflected in its Pokédex data, which explain how Gardevoir will protect its Trainer even at the cost of its own life (wow, that's some heavy shit!) and that it has the ability to see into the future, distorting the dimensions to such an extent it creates small black holes. The former explanation may also suggest that Gardevoir is based on a guardian angel, although it looks more like a principal dancer, very much like Kirlia resembles a ballet dancer.

Gardevoir laying in the grass, resting a bouquet of flowers on its chest.

However, Gardevoir is especially notorious for its role in the Internet meme called Rule 34, which is a generally accepted Internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable object. Or, simply put: if something exists, there is pornographic content of it. Gardevoir isn't the first Pokémon to be made into hentai images (a catch-all term to describe a genre of anime and manga pornography) and it definitely won't be the last, but I can safely say it is the most prominent. Just Googling Gardevoir results into a certain 50/50 mix of normal and pornographic or suggestive images of Gardevoir, and I have to say it's disturbing. Who in their right mind would go and think, "Today I am going to create a pornographic image of a Pokémon, making the suggestion that it's sexy." A Pokémon! Ugh. I'm mentioning this aspect of Gardevoir because it is so painfully visible, otherwise I wouldn't even have mentioned it at all. It goes without saying that I won't post any hentai images of Gardevoir on this blog, nor will I recommend Googling them. And should you decide to do that anyway, enter Google at your own risk; I won't be held accountable.

Fan art of Mega Gardevoir.

It's a relief that Gardevoir is still being seen as a more-than-decent Pokémon to use, in-game as well as competitively. Its HP, attack and defense are mediocre, but its special attack and special defense are both sky-high, while its base 80 speed stat is decent. Its typing - psychic/fairy as of Gen. VI, gaining the fairy typing on top of its already existing psychic typing in X and Y - is especially helpful, as Moonblast helps against dragon types and Psychic makes short work of poison-type Pokémon that threaten its very existence. There are numerous ways to make use of Gardevoir, but it should stay a special attacker at all times. A Choice Specs set is mentioned on Smogon, but there is also a Life Orb set supported by Calm Mind and a Choice Scarf set to let Gardevoir outspeed some Pokémon in the competitive metagame. At least Gardevoir doesn't have to worry about coverage, because it has access to some pretty neat moves of many different typings, among which are Thunderbolt, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Signal Beam and even Icy Wind. Phew. And that's not all, because Gardevoir got a Mega in X and Y. The horns protruding from its chest are know larger and are said to be a physical manifestation of its heart, making it able to let loose tremendous psychic power now that its heart is open. And that is clearly perceptible, because Mega Gardevoir leaves a dent in any opposing team with its base 165 special attack. Moreover, it has access to the Pixilate ability, which lets it turn normal-type moves into fairy-type moves. They also get a boost, making Hyper Voice more competitively viable than Moonblast, especially because Hyper Voice infiltrates substitutes. Before Mega-evolving, though, Trace is the preferred ability, as it copies the opposing Pokémon's ability and might turn it against them.

Shiny Mega Gardevoir. The flower on top of its head is not part of its design, but it's
a nice touch to the whole 'mourning' aspect of its design. 

Also, did you notice that regular Mega Gardevoir looks like it's wearing a wedding gown and shiny Mega Gardevoir seems to be wearing a mourning dress? That is such a nice touch, and I think shiny Mega Gardevoir is one of the most beautiful shinies out there. It's really pretty. Gardevoir is very loveable as a whole, by the way; I love everything about it, including its simple but beautiful design, its characteristics, its competitive utility and its Mega evolution - shiny Mega Gardevoir in particular.

And then we have Gallade, who isn't quite as beautiful and elegant as Gardevoir. Regular Gallade has the same stat distribution as Gardevoir, with only their attack and special attack stats swapped, so it's a very decent physical alternative to Gardevoir, but I'm just not that big a fan of its design. Its horizontally oval thighs are a bit off-putting, its slender body shape just doesn't do it for me as much as Gardevoir's, its blade-like arms don't look overly efficient and its legs are just weird. Gallade significantly earns points when it Mega-evolves, gaining a cape that fits it knightly aesthetics and blades that look more efficient than those of its regular form, as well as a head that resembles a gladiator's helmet. The weird legs and oval shape of its hips stay but are less accentuated because of the overall more busy 'knight in shining armor' design, which is a plus. Mega Gallade has a very nice design overall, but it doesn't even come close to Gardevoir's graceful looks.

I wanted to show you Gallade's weird oval hips and what better
way to do that than include its official artwork here? 

Like Gardevoir, however, Gallade fiercely fights to protect its Trainer. When doing that, it shows that it's a master of courtesy and swordsmanship and a master in predicting its foe's moves. The blade-like arms can be extended and therefore show resemblances to tonfa, melee weapons best known for their role in the armed component of Okinawan martial arts. Mega Gallade has arms that look like actual blades, however, and these are used simultaneously in a dual-wielding style by calling on its psychic powers. Predicting the foe's moves is still up to the player, though, because there's no denying it: Gallade is as frail as Gardevoir. Its Mega is kind of bulky, with 115 special defense and 95 defense, but the HP stat is never boosted upon Mega-evolving and Gallade's HP is honestly a bit subpar. Thankfully, its base 80 speed becomes 110 when it Mega-evolves and it can dish out damage hard and relatively fast. While Gardevoir usually needs a Timid nature, which ups speed and lowers attack, that is actually a bad nature for Gallade: Jolly or Adamant (both lower special attack, but the former provides an increase in speed and the latter an increase in attack) are usually the natures to go with, as well as a physical moveset, obviously. Aside from STAB moves like Psycho Cut, Zen Headbutt, Close Combat, Drain Punch and Brick Break, it also has a crazy diverse movepool: Leaf Blade, Night Slash, Earthquake, Aerial Ace, Knock Off (very handy to knock off the opposing Pokémon's item, doing double the damage), Stone Edge, Rock Slide, X-Scissor, Poison Jab, Power-Up Punch, Shadow Sneak, Fire Punch, Thunder Punch, Ice Punch and even Dual Chop are all very viable choices on a competitive Gallade's moveset. To top it all off, Gallade learns Swords Dance, which it can use to double its attack stat and perform a late-game sweep.

Wally and his Mega Gallade. 

Don't want to use Mega Gallade? That's fine, because you can use a Choice Scarf or Choice Band set on a regular Gallade, although the latter provides an attack boost rather than a speed boost and both sets lock it into using only one move until it's switched out. A Life Orb would therefore be better, especially because it allows Gallade to use Swords Dance, but Smogon also mentions a Bulk Up set. Bulk Up raises Gallade's attack and defense by one stage each, but its defense is already quite low, so it's not worth the hassle. If you can manage to pull it off, that's fine, but it's not the best way to use Gallade.

At the end of the day, Gardevoir and Gallade give the illusion that they're perfect counterparts, but that is really not the case here. Gardevoir has a 50/50 gender ratio, while Gallade is 100% male, so they're not the damsel in distress and Prince Charming everybody likes them to be. It has to be said that Gallade is a very good physical-based option if you don't need a special attacker, and its Mega is actually really cool; I like how it fits its flavor perfectly. I love everything about Gardevoir, however, while I'm not a big fan of regular Gallade's design. I'm gonna have to rate them separately: Gardevoir gets an easy 5, while Gallade will have to do with 4.5 stars. And that's mainly because of its Mega!

Rating Gardevoir: 5/5

Rating Gallade: 4.5/5