#439, #122: Mime Jr. & Mr. Mime

James from Team Rocket had a Mime Jr. from seasons 9 to 13. It
is probably using the move Attract in this image or something; I
don't even care. 

Oh my God, I hate clowns. And mimes. They're so fucking creepy.

And they just had to make Pokémon based off of them. Another goddamn baby Pokémon at that, too; like, you have got to be shitting me. As if Mr. Mime actually needed a pre-evolution. Just like any other baby Pokémon (barring Pichu, who can learn Volt Tackle trough breeding, and Togepi and Riolu, whom I consider basic forms rather than baby forms and who were introduced alongside their evolutions Togetic and Lucario in their respective generations), Mime Jr. serves absolutely no purpose other than being a Pokédex filler. Don't get me wrong; I actually like most baby Pokémon design-wise, but they're such pointless additions to the games from Ruby and Sapphire onwards. Breeding was introduced in Gold and Silver and I can live with the likes of Magby and Pichu and such, but baby Pokémon became redundant after that and Game Freak should have just focused on completely new, independent Pokémon not related to Pokémon that already existed and not on the latter's younger and weaker forms. Mime Jr. is one of those redundant babies, and it isn't even a good one in my opinion, because it just looks silly.

Papercraft Mime Jr. and Mr. Mime. NOW GO ON AND TELL ME
THAT MR. MIME ISN'T CREEPY, GODDAMMIT! 

But what is up with this mimicry thing of baby Pokémon in Gen. IV? I noticed that they always try to mimic one thing or another, whether it be their evolution (Happiny), other people or Pokémon (Mime Jr.) or even inanimate objects (Bonsly, whom I will write about when it's Sudowoodo's turn to show up here). Mime Jr. is doing nothing but clowning around, mimicking other people's expressions and motions to understand their feelings or imitating foes in order to create distractions and escape once they are confused. That is so typically a mime thing to do, and that is exactly why I hate those people. And I should prepare to get annoyed some more right now, because I am going on to Mr. Mime; and Mr. Mime (who actually has a 50/50 gender ratio despite its name) is a lot worse than its pre-evolution. Being an excellent pantomime, this Pokémon can solidify air molecules by vibrating its fingertips, creating actual invisible barriers. Don't disturb its act though, because it will slap you to hell and back when you do.

SEE? I KNEW MIMES WERE SECRETLY VIOLENT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Yes. Yes, this is exactly how I see Mr. Mime:
creepy as fuck.

All jokes aside, I'll acknowledge Mr. Mime's utility as a competitive battler. Although the psychic type has lost its appeal a little since the type got nerfed in Gold and Silver, Mr. Mime received a very useful typing in X and Y: fairy (don't ask me why this clown is a fairy type; I don't know and I honestly don't care, either). Unfortunately, its HP and defense aren't all that, but it makes that up with some decent speed and excellent special attack and special defense stats. Besides, it can reduce super-effective damage by ¼ with the Filter ability or it can prevent sound-based moves from having effect on it with the Soundproof ability. Furthermore, Mr. Mime has access to an ability called Technician, with which it can increase moves with a base power of 60 or less by 1.5. In Mr. Mime's case, this could potentially be applied to Confusion, Icy Wind, Shock Wave, Charge Beam, Confusion and Hidden Power, but it is generally better to run another moveset combined with one of the first two abilities I mentioned. Thunderbolt, Future Sight, Signal Beam, Shadow Ball, Psyshock, Energy Ball, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam and Psychic are viable options, but usually the last three moves are used. Occasionally, a status move like Nasty Plot (increases Mr. Mime's special attack by two stages) or Healing Wish (lets Mr. Mime faint, but fully heals the next Pokémon coming in) is thrown in for support or setting up. So, what about natures and items? Well, a Timid nature is the best option, but you could go for a Modest nature combined with a Choice Scarf. If that's not your cup of tea, the Choice Specs or a Life Orb are great options, as is an Assault Vest. That increases Mr. Mime's already high special defense by 50%, but only lets it use damaging moves.

Wow, this takes 'creepy' to a whole new level. I know Mr. Mime is exactly that, but
this is almost nightmarish...

Oh God, did I mention that I hate clowns? And mimes? Well, I do. And it's not that I think Mr. Mime is a bad Pokémon per se, but its design and flavor really don't appeal to me.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' YOUR SHENANIGANS, BITCH!

Ugh, I think Mr. Mime is creepier than most Pokémon with so-called horror Pokédex entries such as Banette, Drifloon or Drowzee and Hypno (and those are only a few of them). I've developed a very, very strong dislike towards this Pokémon that is never ever gonna go away, and I don't think I want it to go away in the first place. I'll probably never hate it as much as I hate Lickilicky and Pelipper, but that won't stop me from giving this motherfucker only 0.5 stars, which is nothing to write home about...

Rating: 0.5/5

#114, #465: Tangela & Tangrowth

Old official art of Tangela by Ken Sugimori.

Tangela and Tangrowth... I have no idea what to think of these strange Pokémon. Nobody knows what their vine-covered bodies look like, and apparently nobody seems to take the trouble to find out. Tangela does exactly what you expect it to do: entangle victims when they move too close to them, constantly jiggling its vines so as to deter herbivores that might mistake it for a shrub. Tangela's seaweed-like, ever-growing vines (and Tangrowth's arms, with which it entangles and catches prey, for that matter) will snap off easily and painlessly if the target pulls on them or eat them and grow back almost immediately, which indicates that - at least in Tangela's case - the ensnaring is only a defense mechanism in order to scare off intruders and potential predators. This suggests that their vines are frail, which is contradicted by game mechanics, as Tangela and its evolution Tangrowth are extremely (physically) defensive Pokémon. It would seem logical that Tangela and Tangrowth's vines protect them from severe harm.

Fan art of Tangela (right) and Tangrowth (left). 

That great defense stat comes into handy in competitive play, for both Tangela and Tangrowth. As is the case with Chansey (see previous post), Tangela benefits greatly from the Eviolite, which raises its defense and special defense by 50%. That will help Tangela to take even a couple of special hits. It does not have Chansey's massive HP stat, though, so it is easier to wear down with special moves than Chansey is with physical moves. And while Tangela does rely heavily on the Eviolite, it is not uncommon for some players to run a Modest one with EV training in its base 100 special attack and an offensive moveset consisting of Leaf Storm, Giga Drain, either Hidden Power or Ancient Power, and Sleep Powder to put the foe to sleep. Sludge Bomb is an option as well, to hit grass and fairy types. However, more common are Bold Tangela with EV investment in HP and defense, which emphasize Tangela's endurance and physically defensive character. Especially with the moves Toxic and Synthesis, the latter of which heals half of Tangela's HP, and its hidden ability Regenerator, which heals ⅓ of Tangela's HP when it is switched out, you can make Tangela last for a long time.

TCG art of Tangrowth.

Tangrowth, which can be obtained by leveling up Tangela while it knows Ancient Power (which is in my opinion the dumbest method ever), seems redundant when you have such a useful pre-evolution, but it actually has its uses, especially due to its access to Knock Off. While Tangela's attack stat is nothing to write home about, Tangrowth's base attack and special attack are roughly the same; they're at 100 and 110, respectively. As a result, Tangrowth can be used in plenty of different ways: an all-out physical offensive one with Power Whip, Knock Off, Earthquake, and either Rock Slide or Poison Jab, holding either a Life Orb or a Choice Band; an all-out specially offensive one with Leaf Storm, Focus Blast, Sludge Bomb and Giga Drain, holding either Choice Specs or a Life Orb; a specially defensive mixed attacker with a Brave, Quiet or Sassy nature, holding an Assault Vest (raises Tangrowth's special defense by 50%, which it may need), so it focuses on both defense and offense; and a physically defensive physical or mixed attacker with Leftovers and either a Bold or Relaxed nature, respectively. It is so versatile, but because its physical movepool is better and more useful than its special movepool, I lean more towards a physical Tangrowth. At all times, its ability should be Regenerator, just like Tangela's. The other two, Leaf Guard and Chlorophyll, only work well on a sun team.

While these two Pokémon definitely have their uses, I am not too fond of them. Tangela is alright, but Tangrowth is yet another of these weird Gen. IV evolutions, although I have to say that I don't hate it and that it's not near as bad as Magnezone and definitely not as bad as Lickilicky and Probopass.

Rating: 3/5

#440, #113, #242: Happiny, Chansey & Blissey

I have to admit this is some fine 3D fan art of Happiny, though.

Ugh. More fat, pink Pokémon... Just what we needed, right?

Nope.

At least, not Happiny. You know what Happiny is good for? Absolutely nothing, because practically everything about Happiny is nothing more than downright terrible. Its stats are absolutely booty; it is even tied with Chansey for the lowest base attack and defense of all Pokémon, both at 5. Even its pretty good 100 base HP won't make up for its low defensive stats and an Eviolite isn't gonna save them, either. Meh. Furthermore, its classification as the 'Playhouse Pokémon' really doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, while its design bothers me to no end. It's so ridiculous. I mean... it looks like an infant wearing a pink diaper, complete with an egg-shaped toy. Well, that's where its annoying characteristics come into play: it is bothered by how curly its hair looks, it has a habit of being in the way of people and causing them to trip as a result of that, and it is always carrying an egg-shaped rock with it because it desperately wants to be a Chansey. That is sad. And not in a good way. Its Pokédex entries never mention anything like a playhouse either, which makes its classification even more confusing.

I'm still bothered by baby Pokémon like Happiny. I mean, they're so incredibly unnecessary...

In the anime, Chansey are often seen as Nurse Joy's assistants in
Pokémon Centers. 

Fortunately, though, it is easy to evolve Happiny into Chansey: just give it an Oval Stone to hold and level it up during the day. And do it fast, because Chansey is much better than its pre-evolution. Wait, wait, wait, I am moving way too fast now; I'll discuss Chansey's battle skills later. Let's take a look at its Pokédex entries first. Chansey is a rare and elusive Pokémon, but it is also gentle and kind-harted and will bring happiness and luck to those who manage to catch it. It will share its succulent and nutritious eggs, which it lays on a daily basis, with an injured human or Pokémon if it sees one. The eggs become even more delicious when Chansey is treated with love and care; so delicious, in fact, that even people who have lost their appetite devour them easily and eagerly. Its healing powers and caring nature make it an excellent nurse, which is why Nurse Joy is always assisted by a Chansey whenever Ash walks into a goddamn Pokémon Center (of course, Gen. V doesn't know what a Chansey is, so Unova Joys are assisted by Audino instead).

Fan art of Chansey happily giving Pachirisu an injection.

This whole healer thing is important, because that is exactly what Chansey is used for in the competitive scene. Yeah, well, its attack and defense are still booty (they're the same as Happiny's), but it has great special defense and a MASSIVE base HP stat of no less than 250. Two hundred and fucking fifty. Only Blissey, Chansey's evolution, has a higher HP stat, but it is higher by only five base points. As Chansey's special defense is high enough already, most players run a Chansey with a Bold nature and EV investment in HP and defense. Give it an Eviolite, a held item that raises a yet-to-evolve Pokémon's defense and special defense by 50%, and you have an ultimate wall. It means that Chansey can take a few physical hits, despite its dreadfully low defense stat. Unfortunately, Chansey has no attacking power, which means it will have to rely on a moveset consisting of Soft-Boiled (heals its HP by half), Seismic Toss (deals damage equal to the user's level), Heal Bell (all Pokémon in the user's party are cured of their non-volatile status conditions, if they have any), and either Toxic or Thunder Wave in order to cripple the opponent with a status effect.

The Chansey family: Happiny (on top of Chansey), Chansey itself (left) and Blissey
(right), with Nurse Joy in the background. 

There are other options, though. Counter is a decreased-priority move that hits for twice the physical damage done to Chansey on that turn, which may be an option, while Thunderbolt, Ice Beam and Flamethrower are viable options if you want to hit ghost-type Pokémon, who are unaffected by Seismic Toss (and Counter, for that matter). Wish can only be obtained by using a special event Chansey that was distributed from December 16, 2004 to January 2, 2005 to any Gen. III game. You probably don't have one, and quite honestly it is not worth the hassle. Do make sure your Chansey has Natural Cure as its ability though, which heals any status condition it has upon switching out. Its hidden ability Healer has a 30% chance of curing an adjacent ally's status condition, so this only comes in handy when you're participating in double battles. And while Chansey also has the Serene Grace ability and its very own held item called the Lucky Punch, both of which raise its critical hit ratio, this combination is actually not a good idea to use considering Chansey's poor offensive presence.

Old official art of Blissey.

So, what about Blissey? Well, its flavor is pretty much the same as Chansey's, with the only difference being the effects of its eggs: eating a Blissey egg will bring happiness to a sad person and makes someone unfailingly caring and pleasant to everyone. Blissey evolves from Chansey when leveled up with high friendship, which means it is a fully-evolved Pokémon. As a result, Blissey cannot use the Eviolite (it depends on Leftovers instead), which sucks because it needs that item. Its base 10 defense might be slightly better than Chansey's, but it is still very, very poor, especially when you consider that Chansey can make use of the Eviolite to make up for its terrible physical defense. Therefore, Blissey resides in a lower tier than Chansey (UU, underused, rather than OU, overused), but that doesn't mean it is bad. On the contrary, Blissey has even higher special defense and special attack stats (along with a slightly better HP stat, but that doesn't really make much difference), which means it is capable of tanking special hits and hitting the opponent with at least some power. However, Blissey is often used in the same way as Chansey is, with the same nature, EV spread and stalling moveset used by its pre-evolution. Besides, its special attack is only mediocre and is really nothing to write home about, so it's probably a good thing using Blissey as a special wall rather than a special attacker.

All in all, it's too bad Game Freak had to introduce Happiny, because that Pokémon is ridiculous and redundant and has hardly any use, in-game as well as competitively. Chansey and Blissey are amazing Pokémon to use if you know what you're doing, however, so you won't see a bad rating on this page by any means. Yes, I know that they're pink, cute and fluffy, but I like them nonetheless.

Rating: 3.5/5

#111 - #112, #464: Rhyhorn, Rhydon & Rhyperior

Early concept sketch of Capsule Monsters. Depicted are Rhydon
and its Trainer. 

I don't care about Rhyhorn. I really don't. I mean, I don't think it's a bad Pokémon by any means and I definitely don't hate it, but I just consider it pre-evolution number something. Add to that its uninteresting flavor (it's stupid, starts running in one direction due to its short legs, forgets why and keeps running like a headless chicken until it falls asleep or crashes into something and remembers why it had started dashing off in the first place) and you make me want to start talking about its evolution Rhydon. Why? Well, you'd expect the first Pokémon to have ever been created to be Bulbasaur or Pikachu, right? Well, no. Bulbasaur might be number one in the Kanto and National Pokédexes, but it is not the first Pokémon that Satoshi Tajiri has come up with. Neither was Pikachu, as the notorious yellow mouse wasn't even meant to be Ash's sidekick in the first place (Clefairy was), let alone the mascot of the entire damn franchise. No, according to interviews with Ken Sugimori - who creates the official Pokémon artworks - and early drafts of Capsule Monsters, as Pokémon was initially called when Satoshi Tajiri proposed its design concept to Nintendo, Rhydon was the first Pokémon to have ever been created.

Another concept sketch of Capsule Monsters. At the bottom left corner, you can
see a Rhydon standing or sitting at a fountain, together with its Trainer.

Yup, the whole hype started with Rhydon, a rhinoceros Pokémon that doesn't have any special role in the games, anime or manga whatsoever. This theory is further supported as Rhydon was the first Pokémon coded into Red and Blue, and as a result its index number in Gen. I is 001. It's actually too bad that its characteristics are a little bland and just don't meet up to the excitement of Rhydon being the first ever Pokémon to have been created. It is physically strong and has an armor-like hide that can withstand heat and physical blows, according to the Pokédex. Well yeah, that's quite apparent when you take a look at it. It has also been seen toppling over buildings with a sweep from its tail, which strongly reminds me of a certain trait of Nidoking's. Okay, Rhydon was probably the first one to have received that trait from Game Freak, but still... And mentioning that standing on its hind legs made it smarter only to say that it is still very forgetful in the very same Pokédex entry is a little bit contradictory, isn't it? RIGHT, Game Freak? The only interesting thing is that the horn Rhydon uses as a drill can crush uncut diamonds. Seriously, it takes some power to crush a diamond.

Little figurines of Rhyhorn (front) and Rhydon (back).

But then along came Rhyperior. Introduced in Gen. IV, along with some other - often horrendous - evolutions of Pokémon that already existed before that, Rhyperior is indeed superior. Having Rhydon a Protector to hold then trading it off is the method to evolve it; this method is a little tedious, but it pays off, because Rhyperior is an awesome-looking powerhouse! It even has cannon things as arms, which it uses to launch Geodude with. Like, what? Well, it actually fires ordinary rocks from its arms by tightening then expanding its muscles instantly, hence it is able to learn Rock Wrecker, a rock-type Hyper Beam. Remember Geodude, Graveler and Golem's entry, when I said that Geodude are often mistaken for ordinary rocks? Well, I guess Rhyperior is facing the same problem when it's looking for rocks it can shoot from its missile launchers to its heart's content. Also, its carapace can withstand any actual volcanic eruption, which is even more impressive than Rhydon being able to live in molten lava of 3,600°F.

Now, can you SEE how awesome Rhyperior is?

In the competitive scene, though, Rhyperior can't withstand many special hits, as its special defense is close to terrible and most fire-type moves are special-based. However, there are several ways to make use of Rhyperior. With its excellent HP, attack and defense, being 115, 140 and 130 respectively, it is already a physical tank and powerhouse, which allows you to invest in its HP and subpar special defense to create an all-out defensive tank with quite some offensive power left, too. Leftovers for a little recovery every turn completes the set. Another way: the move Rock Polish raises Rhyperior's speed stat by two stages and is great in conjunction with a Jolly nature and speed investment, which allows Rhyperior to take an attempt at sweeping, especially when it manages to get a Swords Dance off as well. This is completely optional, although you should give it a Life Orb for some extra power. Of course, the best way to make use of Rhyperior is to max out its monstrous attack stat by rocking (pun intended) a Choice Band Rhyperior with an Adamant nature. Murder guaranteed. Just make sure you're always using one with Solid Rock as its ability, as this reduces super-effective damage by ¼. That might come in handy when it gets hit by a water- or grass-type move, to which it normally has quadruple weaknesses. Lightning Rod is absolutely garbage, because it draws in electric-type attacks to which Rhyperior is immune to due to its primary ground typing, anyway. Its immunity takes precedence over its ability anyway, so the special attack boost from Lightning Rod won't even occur, unless it is holding a Ring Target. You don't want a special attack boost anyway, because its special attack is abysmal. Lastly, the ability Reckless powers up moves from which Rhyperior takes recoil damage. It seems nice at first glance, but you're not going to use Take Down by any means, so leave that ability be.

AAAAAAAHHH, LOOK AT HIM GOOOOO!!! :D

Naturally, almost every set should contain the moves Stone Edge and Earthquake, a combination that is often infamously referred to as EdgeQuake, but Rock Blast can be considered to break through substitutes and punish Focus Sash users. Fortunately, Rhyperior is blessed with a crazy diverse movepool to fill in some loose spots. Megahorn is commonly used in competitive play, as are Ice Punch and Aqua Tail. Hammer Arm, Poison Jab, Thunder Punch, Fire Punch, Crunch, Dragon Rush, Outrage, Iron Tail, Iron Head, the elemental fangs and Superpower are viable options for type coverage, while Dragon Tail is a somewhat weak move that makes Rhyperior go last but forces the opponent to switch out. You can even give Stealth Rock to it if you take the defensive approach. However, which combination of moves and item you use depends heavily on which tier you're fighting in and which Pokémon you're facing. And if Rhyperior falls short for you, you can just use a Rhydon with an Eviolite attached to it, so it is guaranteed to tank hits.

On my previous blog, I placed Rhydon at number 48 on my list of favorite Pokémon, just because it is the first drafted Pokémon. Yeah, I might have exaggerated a little bit with that. Since then, its evolution Rhyperior has grown a lot on me and I have come to absolutely adore this Pokémon. Of all the Gen. IV evolutions of already existing Pokémon, Rhyperior is BY FAR THE BEST. It probably won't surprise you I'm giving it a perfect rating!

Rating: 5/5

#108, #463: Lickitung & Lickilicky

Fan art of Lickitung.

Oh my God, no. No, no, NO! I do NOT want to review this Pokémon.

Sigh... I guess I'll have to, right? Goddammit, fuck this shit.

Okay, let's get this over with, shall we? I do not want to spend any more time on this monstrosity than absolutely necessary. To make a long story short, Lickitung is a disgusting Pokémon that uses its tongue for capturing prey, battling, cleaning its body, exploring its environment and gathering food. At 7 feet, Lickitung's tongue is almost twice as long as its body and possibly even connected to its tail, as it quivers when Lickitung extends its long, chameleon-like tongue. The tongue is dexterous and powerful enough to lift people. Lickitung remembers things by their texture and taste, but it apparently dislikes sour things. I'm pretty sure it won't like the taste of me then, even though I wouldn't want to be licked by that thing in the first place. I mean, do you know how much saliva Lickitung produces? Gross. Especially considering the fact that its saliva is sticky and causes you to get a tingling sensation. Ewww.

Official art of Lickilicky. God, do I hate this Pokémon. I hate it
with a burning passion...

Look, it's not that I have a problem with Lickitung per se, it's just that the atrocity that is called Lickilicky overshadows Lickitung's mediocrity. Lickilicky's design - is it based on a bloated gourmand or a puffy baby? - is so abominable and ridiculous that I hated it instantly when I first saw it, which is probably why all of a sudden I couldn't stand Lickitung either. My hate for Lickilicky has only intensified throughout the years and I doubt I'll ever get over it. Up to this day, it is my absolute least favorite Pokémon. To make matters even worse, Lickilicky's flavor (no pun intended) is even more disgusting than Lickitung's, as Lickilicky is a downright glutton and will lick anything or anyone close by for any leftover crumbs. Its tongue is always soggy with slobber and getting too close to it will leave you soaked with drool, which contains lots of components that can dissolve anything, and the numbness it causes will not dissipate. Hideous, ridiculous, disgusting and dangerous...? That is not a particularly good combination, even if I say so. Whoever thought that this evolution of Lickitung was a superb idea should be thrown out with the trash immediately, because the day that Lickilicky was created is a black day for Nintendo and Game Freak. A black day indeed.

Look at this fat-ass. I hate everything about it: the stupid curl on
its head, its round shape, its gluttonous attitude, its ridiculously
large tongue, the white patch on its chest that looks like a napkin,
that perfect WiFi signal on its belly, its stupid evolution method,
the dumb name, etc. etc. etc.

Do I even care about Lickilicky's competitive use? Well, there are people who do like this thing (although I don't know why you would like it) and want to use one (again, it's a mystery to me why the hell you'd even want to), so let's get started, shall we? Even I have to admit that Lickilicky isn't all that bad competitively, so my approach is to use one with an Adamant nature, the Own Tempo ability, a Choice Band as held item and EV investment in HP and attack. Own Tempo prevents it from getting confused, while the Choice Band boosts Lickilicky's decent attack stat by 50% but limits it to using just one move until you switch it out. With an excellent base HP stat of 110 and quite some good defenses, Lickilicky has some natural bulk behind it, so you might as well make use of that attack stat in my opinion. And quite frankly, Lickilicky learns some powerful and/or useful moves, such as Knock Off (knocks off the opponent's held item), Power Whip (a rare physical-based grass-type move), Earthquake, Brick Break, Rock Slide, Power-Up Punch (a weak move, but it raises Lickilicky's attack every time it is used), Dragon Tail (forces the opponent to switch out), the elemental punches, Aqua Tail, Hammer Arm, Iron Tail, Zen Headbutt, and even STAB Return. You're spoiled for choice.

Somehow Lickilicky looks so much better when you can't see its ugly face. Then
again, it's still a fat-ass. 

Some other approaches: a Life Orb Lickilicky with either Curse (lowers its already terrible speed even more, but raises its attack and defense by one stage each) or Swords Dance (raises its attack by two stages), or even a Leftovers Lickilicky with EV investment in HP and defense or special defense and the Wish/Protect/Heal Bell combo. The latter only works if you have one that is evolved from a 2004 special event Lickitung, so it's hard to obtain a legit one.

However, I really wouldn't want to obtain one in the first place, and I don't understand why anyone would, either. Fuck this Pokémon. Fuck this Pokémon so, so much. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, and fuck it again. Fuck it from behind, fuck it from the front, then fuck it sideways until you make it see stars. Make sure it gets a trauma from it. Ugh, I despise Lickilicky and I wish I could ban it from my goddamn memory for all eternity.

Rating: 0.5/5

#81 - #82, #462: Magnemite, Magneton & Magnezone

Cute and intriguing fan art of Magnemite.

So here we have another evolution composed of three species of its pre-evolution.

Except I actually like Magneton, as opposed to Dugtrio.

Now, Magnemite and Magneton are some interesting Pokémon, to say the least. If you don't count Geodude and Graveler, these magnet Pokémon are the first Pokémon to be composed of inanimate objects. They're definitely the first Pokémon in the Pokédex to be based on man-made inanimate objects, contrary to Geodude and Graveler, who are based on objects (rocks) found in nature. Magnemite and Magneton do have emotions, know a way of reproducing and have the need to eat; its main form of nutrients is electrical currents. The magnets on the side of Magnemite's body create electromagnetic waves that allow it to levitate and when there is a strong magnetic force, three Magnemite could be drawn to each other to form Magneton. Magneton generate strange radio waves that are so strong that they cause a wide area to warm up by almost 4 degrees and can cause earaches when you come to close to them. They are drawn outside when sunspots flare up, presumably because of the changes in the sun's magnetic field. Because a group of Magneton can cause a magnetic storm and the waves they generate cause electrical and mechanic devices to break, large cities sound sirens to warn citizens of large-scale outbreaks of these Pokémon and urge Trainers to keep them inside their Poké Balls.

Poor things. It's just in their nature; they don't deserve to be treated like pariahs...

Pretty realistic fan art of Magneton.

The most interesting thing about Magnemite and Magneton is that they were the first Pokémon to have their typing changed. Prior to Gen. II, these Pokémon were pure electric types; the steel type was introduced one generation later, along with the dark type. Game Freak thought that would be a good reason to add this new typing to Magnemite and Magneton, because magnets and screws are steel objects, after all. Honestly, I can't blame them. They are right; and besides, steel is an awesome defensive typing, which is only one of the reasons why it's my favorite type. Pokémon with this typing are blessed with nine normal resistances, two quadruple resistances and one immunity. That certainly makes Magneton a much better fighter, but even though both Magnemite and Magneton have the ability to levitate, the actual game ability Levitate isn't available to them, which means they have a quadruple weakness to ground-type moves. There is a way to get around that pesky weakness, but I'll get to that later.

Official art of Magnezone by Ken Sugimori.

Anyway, you'd think that would be the end of it, but Magneton evolves even further. For some reason, Gen. IV introduced quite some evolutions of Pokémon from previous generations (including the horrendous Lickilicky and Probopass), and Magneton is one of the lucky bastards to get such an evolution. Although I don't think I should use the term 'lucky', because Magnezone actually looks really weird. It has better stats than Magneton in everything but speed, which is actually reduced upon evolving, but whereas Magneton literally consists of three Magnemite (unoriginal, but somehow more effective and interesting than Dugtrio), Magnezone is a flying saucer. Well, it definitely looks like one, anyway. It is actually based on magneforming, a high-speed forming process for electrically conductive metals, and I think it is to represent an electromagnetic field that can induce this (as indicated by its name - 'magnetic zone' - and its classification as the 'Magnet Area Pokémon' in the Pokédex). Don't ask me though, I've looked into this subject and I understand very little of it.

One thing I do know for sure: I don't like Magnezone one bit. You might think there is something that makes it stand out to Magneton, but Magnezone is only capable of inducing a greater magnetic force than its pre-evolution. Also, exposure to a special magnetic field changes Magneton's molecular structure, turning it into Magnezone. As a result, scientists made attempts to force evolution, in which they miserably failed. Besides, this whole change-of-molecular-structure thing... isn't that what all Pokémon that can evolve go through? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Let's face it: Magneton looks way better than Magnezone.
Right? RIGHT???

Both Magneton and Magnezone have some serious batttling capabilities though, so let's see what they've got up their sleeves. Let's start with Magneton, who resides in the RU tier and excels in special attack and defense, so invest EVs in these stats and slap an Eviolite on it. Considering the fact that the Eviolite also raises Magneton's physical bulk by 50%, you could also pump up its mediocre special defense to create some special bulk as well. Its hidden ability Analytic gives its moves a 30% boost if the opponent makes a move first or switches out, so a Quiet nature (boosts special attack and reduces speed) is the nature to go with, especially if you consider that its speed is not all that, anyway. Magnezone, on the other hand, is an OU-tier Pokémon and is commonly used to trap other steel types in the tier with its ability Magnet Pull (which, for the record, its pre-evolutions can also have, along with Sturdy). This niche is often combined with a Modest nature and Choice Specs, which boosts Magnezone's special attack by 50% but locks is into one specific move. What those moves are, you ask? Volt Switch, Thunderbolt, Flash Cannon and Hidden Power are what both Magneton and Magnezone can get, because they don't have a lot of diversity. You might even want to consider Magnet Rise, which gets around Magnezone's pesky quadruple weakness to ground. It might be a good idea to give Magnezone an Air Balloon (which has the same effect as Levitate. but pops when Magnezone is hit by any move other than a ground-type move) to hold instead of Choice Specs, especially since it is slower than Magnezone and can't pull it off very quickly.

This is the first time I'm giving a second-stage evolution a completely different rating than its pre-evolution, simply because I like Magneton a whole lot more than its evolution Magnezone. I don't hate Magnezone, and it is undoubtedly a good competitive Pokémon, but it is just too weird for me to like, not to mention that this Pokémon was (and still is) actually quite unnecessary.

Rating Magneton: 5/5

Rating Magnezone: 2.5/5