#79 - #80, #199: Slowpoke, Slowbro & Slowking

Scene from the "Slowpoke Song" music video.

Another split evolution, but this one is the dopiest so far. If you say that Slowpoke looks like it is dumb, you are absolutely right: it has dim intellect, often forgets what it was doing and - perhaps this is the worst one - responds to external stimuli after a very long time. For example, it can take up to five seconds for it to process pain and it can even take a day before it realises it has been bitten. Dopey? Yup, that is why the official Pokémon classifies Slowpoke as such. Recently, the Pokémon Company International, Inc. announced that it was Slowpoke week or something, and as a result they released a special song called the "Slowpoke Song". Now, if that isn't dopey, I don't know what is. One scene in the music video, in which eight Slowpoke form a circle by biting each other's tails, might even turn out badly for these Slowpoke (obviously, in the music video they'll be just fine). See, their flavorful and pleasant-to-chew-on tails are used as lure for fishing and they often break off and then regenerate. The video games even indicate that Slowpoke tails are seen as a delicacy by humans: Team Rocket sell them for a clean million Pokédollars each. The anime shows that Slowpoke will evolve into Slowbro the moment a Shellder holds on to its tail, after which Slowbro will lose the capability to feel pain due to Shellder's poison.

Heheh. Yeah, this is not really Slowpoke's evolution method in
the games, but it makes for some very good jokes. 

So, the tails are important? Not really. They make for a nice characteristic of Slowpoke, but in the games they are only used to create a storyline plot for Team Rocket and Slowbro is to be obtained by leveling Slowpoke up to level 37. That is quite late, to be honest. It has decent HP and therefore it is capable of taking a hit just fine, but its terrible special attack stat and mediocre attack stat (and the lack of good physical moves for it) makes Slowpoke fall behind quickly if you are going through a regular playthrough. Fortunately, there is another evolution method, as it is also capable of evolving into Slowking, introduced one generation later, by having Slowpoke hold a King's Rock and trade it. Apparently, that is not how it goes in the anime: when Slowpoke gets bitten in the head by a Shellder, the Shellder's venom is released in its brain, causing a chemical reaction that unlocks superior intellect, intuition and inspiration, and extraordinary power. More venom is injected into Slowking every time it yawns, which also causes Slowking to become more intelligent. However, if the Shellder on its head comes off, Slowking will forget everything it has learned.

Shellder, Shellder, Shellder. So that thing is important, after all. In the games, Mantyke evolves into Mantine when it levels up with a Remoraid added to the party, so why couldn't Shellder become the key in Slowpoke evolving into either Slowbro or Slowking (or both)?

Oh, that's right... Mantyke was introduced in Gen. IV and Slowking in Gen. II. I guess it just wasn't possible in the time of Gold and Silver. Alright, I'll let it slide.

Official art of Slowbro (left) and Mega Slowbro (right).

Fortunately though, Slowbro and Slowking are competent battlers. Slowbro even got a Mega evolution. And an uncomfortable one at that, as Slowbro gets almost completely devoured by the Shellder on its tail. Mega Slowbro's energy has gathered in the Shellder, and as a result the hardness of its shell is boosted, making an armor so hard that nothing and or no one can scratch it. And that is noticable, because Slowbro gets a huge boost in its defense (and a small one in its special attack) upon Mega-evolving. Regular Slowbro was already used as a physically defensive tank and a support Pokémon rather than an offensive one. A moveset consisting of Scald (for doing damage; it also has a chance to burn the foe), Thunder Wave (to paralyze the opponent), Slack Off (to recover Slowbro; works great in conjunction with its hidden ability Regenerator, which lets it gain some HP back upon switching out) and Calm Mind (to boost its lower special defense some more and power up Scald) is therefore not uncommon. Now that it has a Mega, it is easily used as an all-offensive threat, preferably with three strong special moves and a status move like Calm Mind or Slack Off.

"I could use pants."

While Slowking's stat spread differs from Slowbro, it is often used as a physically defensive tank as well. Its naturally high special defense can be pumped up with Calm Mind and an Assault Vest, anyway. There is just one thing that actually distinguishes Slowking from Slowbro: Nasty Plot. Slowbro cannot learn this move, which increases Slowking's special attack by two stages. This makes Slowking a great special sweeper in so many ways: Quiest/Modest nature with Slack Off for recovery and Leftovers or Life Orb as a hold item, Bold nature with Slack Off and Leftovers, Modest/Quiet nature with Choice Specs as a hold item and the move Trick (to switch hold items with the opponent, which forces the specs onto the opponent's Pokémon and locks it in an undesirable move)... you name it. Slowking really makes for a versatile Pokémon. By the way, any of the above options should include its hidden ability Regenerator, because its regular abilities (Oblivious and Own Tempo) only prevent it from becoming infatuated. This status condition can be solved by simply switching Slowking out anyway, so don't bother with these abilities.

I really like these Pokémon, to be honest. The only thing that annoys me a little is Slowbro's Pokédex classification as the 'Hermit Crab Pokémon'. Trust me, I do get the reference to the Shellder it is carrying along with it, but Slowbro itself does NOT look like a crab in the slightest, not to mention hermit crabs carry a shell along with them as their home, which can't be said about Slowbro's Shellder. If anything, it looks like a combination of a giant amphibian and a hippopotamus (whose features are clearly seen in the joke image above). That doesn't keep me from giving the whole Slowpoke family an excellent score of four stars out of five, though!

Rating: 4/5

#63 - #65: Abra, Kadabra & Alakazam

Official art of the little asshole that is called an Abra.

Argh, this sneaky little motherfucker...

Remember how in Zubat's entry I talked about how much of a nuisance they are to everybody, but that I myself have no problem with those things? Well, there's a Pokémon that does annoy me every fucking time it shows itself: Abra. That is not because they appear so frequently (there is no Pokémon that you will encounter as much as Zubat), but because the goddamn things ALWAYS FLEE WHENEVER I TRY TO CATCH ONE! Not surprising, because Abra is all about teleporting: when it senses danger, which it does by reading minds, it teleports itself to a safer place so quickly that it creates the illusion of having made copies of itself. And by hypnotizing itself, it is able to teleport or use any of its other extrasensory abilities at any time. Abra's telepathic powers tire it immensely though, which results in it sleeping 18 hours a day. Now, here's the thing: before Gen. IV it was next to impossible to catch an Abra, because it only had Teleport, which means you had to toss a Poké Ball at it while it was at full health. There wasn't even time to weaken it, because it would use Teleport to flee from the battle right away. And you never encountered a sleeping Abra; God, no, because that would have been way too easy! Thank God for the introduction of Quick Balls in Gen. IV; with those you can definitely catch an Abra on the first turn.

Kadabra (left) and Alakazam (right) engaged in an exciting game of psychic
chess, while Abra (middle) is watching amusedly.

Once you have it, however, it really pays off. Abra evolves into Kadabra, which even has stronger psychic powers than its pre-evolution: it creates alpha waves that induce headaches and it can cause clocks to run backwards, machines to malfunction, and delicate devices to stop functioning altogether. Kadabra's spoon is the source of its real power though, because Kadabra can double the amplitude of its alpha waves when it's holding its spoon, and can increase it even further by closing its eyes and, perhaps unintentionally, when it feels that it is in danger. In short, Kadabra is a powerful Pokémon with base 120 special attack and base 105 speed, which means that it doesn't need to evolve into Alakazam (but it's a nice bonus when it does). You might not be able to when you're playing all by yourself anyway, because Kadabra evolves by trading it to another game. Unlike Poliwhirl, however, Kadabra isn't required to hold an item while it is traded away.

Rare Candy Treatment had a point with this comic
strip, though...

Better make sure to obtain Alakazam, though, because it is better than Kadabra in any possible way. Well, it is absolutely not strong physically: it has weak muscles, which is why it uses all forms of psychic powers to move its body and hold up its head. That's right, its head is way too heavy for its neck to support, due to its continually growing brain. It is said to remember everything that it has experienced since hatching as an Abra and its IQ is believed to exceed 5,000. That is when it gets weird. I mean, think about it: if Alakazam is so intelligent, WHY HAS IT NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LEARN MORE THAN FOUR BATTLE MOVES IN THE NINETEEN YEARS IT EXISTS??? I am fully aware that it's part of the game mechanics, but come on... It is this kind of inconsistencies that really bugs me sometimes. Even though it is never explicitly mentioned that Alakazam can learn more than four battle moves, the fact that it remembers everything suggests that it cannot forget move it has learned, so having it forget a move for another really goes against what Alakazam is all about. Luckily, though, Game Freak blessed us with a Mega evolution for Alakazam, meaning that Alakazam can hit even harder and faster than it already did. And when I say 'hard', I mean HARD!

Official Sugimori art of Mega Alakazam.

Complete with the weird-ass beard and mustache and a red gem stuck on its forehead, Mega Alakazam looks like a wise elder. It gets three additional spoons on top of the two spoons it already had, which it now levitates in the air, right above its head. While regular Alakazam already has good special attack and speed, Mega Alakazam's base special attack and base speed are 175 and 150, respectively. I dare say that is pretty goddamn excellent, but its HP, attack and defense are still atrocious. Mega Alakazam did get a small boost in its defense, while its special defense is still very decent, but its low HP stat negates all that: it will not be able to eat up more than two hits. Then again, Mega Alakazam is supposed to be a wallbreaker (stop Pokémon who are trying to set up), revenge killer (avenge a fallen teammate) and sweeper. Aside from Psychic and/or Psyshock, the moves it can learn provide for excellent coverage as well, like Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Energy Ball, Dazzling Gleam and even Signal Beam. Substitute can be used to get initiative, while Encore is handy to shut down set-up Pokémon. Regular Alakazam has the ability Magic Guard, which negates additional damage from things such as entry hazards, held items, status ailments and weather conditions, which can come in handy before you Mega-evolve it into Mega Alakazam.

Uri Geller (depicted) was not amused that his name and image was used to create
the Pokémon Kadabra (Yungerer in Japanese) and sued Nintendo for it.

One fun fact before I move on to my conclusion: the Japanese names of Abra, Kadabra and Alakazam are based on real-life psychics and illusionists. Abra's Japanese name is Casey
(ケーシィ), after Edgar Cayce; Kadabra's Japanese name is Yungerer (ユンゲラー), which is a corruption of Uri Geller; and Alakazam is Foodin (フーディン) in Japanese, which can be spelled as Houdin and is most probably a reference to Jean Eugène Robert-Houdin and/or Harry Houdini. Uri Geller was not amused that a Pokémon was named after him, especially since it is holding a bent spoon (which is clearly a reference to Geller), and sued Nintendo in 2000 for the unauthorized appropriation of his identity. He was of the opinion that Nintendo turned him into an evil, occult Pokémon character, but the judge disagreed with him, resulting in Geller losing the lawsuit.

To sum it all up, Abra and its evolutions have been an interesting bunch since the very beginning of the Pokémon franchise. They started as real powerhouses in Gen. I, when the psyhic type was still broken as fuck, and have gone through some serious changes as a result of Game Freak's attempt to make the psychic type less superior to other types (which they did to dragons by introducing the fairy type in Gen. VI as well) by turning the type match-up chart upside down. Alakazam is still a force to be reckoned with, especially since the boost as a Mega, but I have to be honest and say that this Pokémon has lost a little of its appeal. I still like Alakazam, but I am not giving it a perfect rating by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#16 - #18: Pidgey, Pidgeotto & Pidgeot

Fan art of Pidgey.

Ah, yes. Pidgey. This docile little bird was the first of many normal/flying-type bird Pokémon to come, of which two evolution lines will be discussed very soon, as they are part of the first generation of Pokémon. But when you step into the tall grass upon entering Route 1 in Red and Blue, Pidgey was one of the first two Pokémon you were able to catch, the other one being Rattata. And while Rattata evolves into Raticate quite early and Raticate is slightly stronger than Pidgeot is (although not by a landslide; Raticate's physical attack is just one base point higher than Pidgeot's), it was worth waiting until level 36, when Pidgeotto evolved into Pidgeot. Not only does Pidgeot looks cooler than Raticate, it is also more reliable due to its slightly higher defenses and its ability to learn Fly, which is always handy in a Pokémon game. Strangely enough, Ash didn't catch a Pidgey early on in the anime series, but a Pidgeotto, which would turn out to be one of his most reliable partners (although it has to be said that Ash attempted to catch a Pidgey before that, but failed miserably). However, like with Butterfree, Ash released his freshly-evolved Pidgeot, this time to protect a Pidgey flock nearby Ash's hometown Pallet Town from a flock of vicious Spearow led by the Fearow Ash encountered as a Spearow in the very first episode.

Pidgeot depicted as (Bird) Jesus from 'Twitch
Plays Pokémon'.

But don't we all remember Pidgeot from the disaster that is called 'Twitch Plays Pokémon'? Streaming service Twitch set up a digital version of Pokémon Red for everyone to play... simultaneously. Due to everybody inserting multiple commands at the same time (A, B, up, down, left, right, you name it), it soon became a mess and progress was made very slowly, and sometimes not at all. When Jay Leno the Rattata and starter Pokémon Abby the Charmeleon were released, the Pidgey caught at the beginning of the game became the team's leader and savior, sent by Lord Helix (Omanyte) to guide Red through the game. Especially after the second massacre, when eleven Pokémon were released by the Twitch Plays Pokémon crowd, Bird Jesus (as Pidgeot is so commonly referred to) bacame the mainstay of the entire team. Ingenious, making up a storyline for a Pokémon game played by tens of thousands of people at the same time. Of course, it was a 'historic' event in the eyes of many Pokémon fans, an event that many will always remember. Especially when you consider the fact that, of all Pokémon, a Pidgeot was the most important Pokémon that eventually led the team to sweet victory!

Official art of Mega Pidgeot.

However, Bird Jesus had been at an insanely high level throughout half of Twitch's playthrough. Can a regular Pidgeot lead a team to victory when a team is more balanced out? Well, when your team is more balanced out, you're likely to let your other Pokémon fight as well. That is not to say that Pidgeot wouldn't be a good addition to any team, especially as a Mega Pidgeot. That's right, it got a Mega evolution in Omega Ruby and Sapphire, and with a little patience you can just catch a Pidgeotto in the Safari Zone after beating or catching Kyogre or Groudon and evolve it into a Pidgeot after a little training. The Mega Stone necessary for Mega-evolving is obtainable long before that, anyway. But is Mega Bird Jesus good? Hell yeah! Whether it has a diverse movepool is a completely other matter, but it is fast and super strong, gaining a gigantic boost in its special attack and even some speed as well (which matches its flavor much better, as Pidgeot are capable of flying at Mach 2 speed). It also acquires the No Guard ability, meaning that both its own moves and its oponent's moves will never miss, not even when they have low accuracy. That effectively makes Hurricane, which normally has 70% accuracy, one of its staple moves.

In fact, Hurricane is its only staple move, as the rest is just for a bit of coverage. Heat Wave is almost always used in the competitive scene, while Hyper Beam can be handy for strong normal-type damage when nothing else is available to you (although it requires a turn to recharge). Defog, for getting rid of annoying entry hazards like Toxic Spikes and Stealth Rock, and U-Turn, for switching out while causing chip damage, are a thing as well. I even rocked out with a Mega Pidgeot who had Twister when doing an Omega Ruby playthrough, but I don't recommend using it competitively (unless you're really desperate).

The entire Pidgey line: Pidgey (up), Pidgeotto (left), Pidgeot (right) and
Mega Pidgeot (middle).

Personally, Mega Pidgeot is my second favorite Mega evolution, just because of its awesome streamlined design. It is one of the most subtle Megas design-wise, but man, does it hit the mark! Well, that depends on how you look at it, but there is absolutely nothing that keeps it from getting a perfect rating!

Rating: 5/5

#13 - #15 - Weedle, Kakuna & Beedrill

The Weedle evolution line: Weedle (bottom left),
Kakuna (bottom right) and Beedrill (middle).

Little Weedle is one of the two original Gen. I catterpillar Pokémon, the other one being Caterpie. Fortunately for Weedle, it is not quite as uneventful as Caterpie is, although it is a close call. The only thing that distinguishes Weedle from its counterpart is that it's also part poison type, meaning that it is able to poison its foes. That led to some seriously irritating battles early on in the Red and Blue games, especially if you didn't have any Antidotes at the ready. Weedle and its first-stage evolution Kakuna definitely look more interesting than Caterpie and its first-stage evolution Metapod; the former because of the intimidating horn on its head, the latter because it looks intimidating overall. You might have noticed the little claws that Kakuna has tucked in (they extend from its body a little in its Red/Blue sprite), a feature Metapod certainly does not have. Then again, it wouldn't have fit Caterpie and Metapod if they had such things, as they are supposed to be the pre-evolutions of a butterfly, whereas Kakuna evolves into... a bee. Which looks more like a paper wasp, if I have to be honest. Not only that: Kakuna also becomes scorching hot to touch as it is busy preparing for its coming evolution, and it is still capable of poisoning predators with its stingers. Yes, the Beedrill line has always appealed more to me than the Butterfree line has, I won't deny that, but it is not to be ignored that both Pokémon sucked ass back in the days of Red and Blue. Butterfree because it didn't have beneficial typings (Butterfree is special-based, and bug and flying were both physical-based types before the physical/special split in Diamond and Pearl) and Beedrill because it didn't have any good moves, not even of its own types, and because its defenses were absolutely booty.

Official art for Mega Beedrill.

Of course, this has all changed in the course of time, but Beedrill has one advantage over Butterfree: it got a Mega evolution last year. Yes indeed, Mega Beedrill became a thing with the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, even though it isn't available before defeating Groudon or Kyogre; at that point you probably already have a full roster of six Pokémon (although it's possible, as you are able to obtain the Beedrillite before entering the Cave of Origin). This Mega has definitely made Beedrill a whole lot better, having gained a boost of 60 in its attack stat and 70 in its speed stat, bringing the total up to 150 and 145, respectively. It has had to give up 30 of its special attack though, but he never needed that stat anyway. Not only is Beedrill now a physical sweeper because of its stat boosts, it also has a shiny new ability to boast about: Adaptability, which increases moves of its own types even further. Due to these changes, Beedrill is now often used in the competitive scene, with movesets containing moves such as Poison Jab, Drill Run, Knock Off, Brick Break, Swords Dance (if you're feeling lucky; Mega Beedrill is still quite frail, as its defenses haven't gotten a boost at all) and your regular bug-type moves like X-Scissor, U-Turn, and even Pin Missile for breaking Substitutes at the first hit and continuing on attacking for some moderate damage.

It is quite clear that Mega Beedrill is made for the competitive scene. And quite honestly, it needed the boost. Beedrill already appealed more to me than Butterfree, but it has started to appeal to me even more now that it has a Mega (a very poisonous one at that, as the poison from its limbs works instantly, while the poison from its 'tail' is slow-acting), which I admit is not really fair towards the likes of Butterfree. I'm sorry, my sweet little butterfly, but this vicious bee wins this round...

Rating: 4.5/5

#7 - #9: Squirtle, Wartortle & Blastoise

Swag.

And last, but definitely not least, we have Squirtle.

Even though Charizard is my favorite of the Kanto starters' final evolutions, Charmander is not my favorite basic-stage Kanto starter. Squirtle is. The anime Charmander is cute and all, but it soon evolved into a Charizard that turned out to be a total asshole, never listening to Ash and totally ignoring his commands. Ash's Squirtle never evolved, but once Squirtle joined Ash on his journey, it remained loyal to him until the latter sent the former back to the Squirtle Squad as a firefighter. Yeah, the squad. That's when we first saw Squirtle, and, frankly, this sassy little delinquent was a total badass! He had swag even before the word came into fashion. See, here's the thing: before Squirtle joined Ash's party, he had been the leader of a criminal gang of Squirtle abandoned by their Trainers, pulling pranks on inattentive passersby and stealing their food. The squad and Team Rocket's Meowth kidnap Ash, his friends and Pikachu and bring them to a cave. Earlier on, Meowth convinced the Squirtle that Jessie and James were his pets after they got ambushed by the squad and sent Jessie and James away to run some errands, planning to seize all the Squirtle in the gang. Team Rocket, including Meowth, turn against the Squirtle and Ash protects the gang leader (distinguishable by its triangle-shaped sunglasses; the other Squirtle in the gang wear round sunglasses) from some bomb explosions, and the Squirtle saves Ash in return and takes him out of the cave after Team Rocket drops some more bombs. Team Rocket is defeated, the Squirtle extinguish the fire caused by the bombs and the gang leader joins Ash on his journey.

The entire Squirtle line: Squirtle (bottom left), Wartortle
(bottom right) and Blastoise (middle). 

What I liked about this Squirtle is that it had a personality to it, something that, at least in my opinion, many other Pokémon lack. This Squirtle was cool and he knew it, as opposed to many other Pokémon Ash had, who were just trying their hardest to prove themselves or just be cute. It's a shame it never evolved, because I would have liked to see how it turned out to be as a Blastoise. Luckily, we still have the games, where we're able to own a Blastoise, mind you. You don't even have to catch a Squirtle, you're just given one. That's awesome. Being one of the three very first starters, Blastoise is still in many people's hearts, and of course there is a reason for that: it's a huge-ass turtle with giant-ass cannons on its back. They only fire water, but these water blasts pierce through steel and concrete. Damn... And if Wartortle can become 10,000 years old (its tail is a symbol of longevity), I don't want to know how old Blastoise can get. The only thing that bothers me about it is that it's classified as the 'Shellfish Pokémon'. Oysters, crabs, shrimps, lobsters, mussels; those are shellfish, but Blastoise is a goddamn turtle. Okay? But admit it, a turtle with cannons and a fire-breathing dragon sound a whole lot better than a dinosaur with a weird-ass flower on its ass, right? I'm sorry if I can't stop talking about how Venusaur lacks the awesomeness of Blastoise and Charizard, but surely I am not the only one who thinks that way? At any rate, my experience is that Blastoise and particularly Charizard are much more popular than Venusaur is, especially when you consider that the former have much more diversity in their movepools.

Official art of Mega Blastoise.

Yes, Blastoise is often used in the competitive scene. Not without a reason though, because it got a Mega evolution in Pokémon X and Y, just like Venusaur and Charizard did. Upon Mega-evolving, Blastoise gains the Mega Launcher ability, which increases the power of pulse and aura moves by 50% (these moves are Aura Sphere, Dark Pulse, Dragon Pulse and Water Pulse; Heal Pulse heals 75% of the target's maximum HP rather than the usual 50%). This effectively makes Water Pulse as strong as Surf, only with a chance to confuse the target. All of the above moves, with the exception of Heal Pulse, are available for Blastoise and that makes him a force to be reckoned with. But while you can rock out with a physical Mega Venusaur (or a mixed tank) and Charizard has two Megas just for you to choose between a physical and a special one, Mega Blastoise's special attack is much higher than its physical attack. A physical Mega Blastoise is possible, because its attack is even higher than Mega Venusaur's, but why would you want that? Its special attack, combined with its excellent ability and movepool (although many people like to have Blastoise carry Ice Beam instead of Dragon Pulse), makes a physical movepool completely unnecessary - with the exception of maybe Rapid Spin, which removes entry hazards from the battlefield. Well, it's the way you roll, I guess...

Modificated official art of Squirtle (left), Blastoise (middle) and Wartortle (right).

In the end, Mega Blastoise is a whole deal better than Mega Venusaur and tied with either Mega Charizard, design-wise (do you see that enormous-ass cannon on its back???) as well as competitively. My childhood experiences make me lean toward Charizard more, so that's why I'm giving Blastoise half a star fewer than Charizard.

Rating: 4.5/5

#4 - #6: Charmander, Charmeleon & Charizard

Charmander and Charmeleon.

Oh yeah, cute little Charmander. From the moment Red and Blue came out, this fiery lizard has been many people's favorite Kanto starter. Some took a liking to Squirtle as well, while Bulbasaur was crying in a corner most of the time; at least that's what I think. This is not without a reason, though: we all unanimously and unhesitantly agree that Charmander's final evolution, Charizard, is awesome (except Ash's Charizard, who was a total jerk, like, ALL THE FUCKING TIME!). Charmander is already cute and interesting by itself (the flame at the tip of its tail is an indicator for its health and emotions; it burns intensely when Charmander is at good health, but when it goes out, Charmander dies), but Charizard is totally badass. And while Charizard's badassery has slightly decreased over the past ten or fifteen years or so, due to an increasing amount of new amazing Pokémon that were introduced every three or four years, Pokémon X and Y gave a boost to Charizard by giving it not one but two Mega evolutions. In fact, it is one of two Pokémon who actually got two Megas, the other one being Mewtwo. And with that, Game Freak have given in to many people who had been nagging about why Charizard should actually have been a dragon-type Pokémon by changing its typing from fire/flying to fire/dragon upon Mega-evolving (of course, this only applies to Mega Charizard X). This indicates that Game Freak know that Charizard has been a fan favorite from the very beginning.

And the Charizard hype was REAL, dude.

While playing Red and Blue, I always chose Charmander as my starter, even though I kept having trouble beating the first Gym Leader with it. But back in the day I was still a little kid and building a team around a starter proved to be a dificult task to me (today I can't even imagine not having a team of six equally leveled Pokémon), so that's why I always played through the game with one Pokémon only: my starter, which happened to be Charmander every single time.

The holographic TCG card of Charizard
everyone was so hyped about back in the days.

And that wasn't all of it. When there were only a few expansions to the official Trading Card Game, the holographic Charizard card from the base set was by far the card everyone desired to have in their possession. I got extremely lucky and pulled this Charizard from a booster pack, and when I showed it to the other kids in my class, they all wanted me to trade that card with them. Needless to say that I refused to do that. In the end, my 'popularity' was short-lived: eventually, other kids managed to get their hands on said card, too. I happened to be the first one with that holographic Charizard, that's all. And do you remember the Topps Pokémon cards? My brother and I collected them as well (even though I liked the TCG cards a lot more than these Topps cards) and once, while we were on a holiday, my brother traded all of his Topps cards for a Topps Charizard card. I personally thought my brother was crazy for doing so, but he loved Charizard so much that he did it anyway. All of this is proof how popular Charizard was back then. That has all changed, though. Kids nowadays aren't that engaged with Pokémon anymore, and the kids who actually grew up with it and still play it as adults probably have other favorites by now. I am no different: Charizard used to be my favorite Pokémon (which is no wonder, as there were only 151 Pokémon twenty years ago; now there are 720), but today it doesn't even show up in my top 50. So how well does it do compared to other, newer Pokémon?

My brother traded ALL of his Topps Pokémon cards for just this one Charizard card.

Pretty well, actually. Daenerys' dragons would be jealous as hell: Charizard can do more than just spit fire. Due to its newly obtained Mega evolutions, Charizard is often used in the competitive scene. And while I prefer Mega Charizard X over Mega Charizard Y design-wise, the latter is actually the better one to use competitively. Why? Well, the Tough Claws ability Mega Charizard X gains upon Mega-evolving is pretty neat, boosting direct attacks (most of those attacks are physical moves) on top of its heavily increased attack stat, but Mega Charizard Y gets the better ability: Drought. This conjures up the sun for five turns and increases Charizard's fire-type moves by 50%, not to mention the fact that Solar Beam doesn't need a turn to charge first. Mega Charizard Y can use this move right off the bat and that makes for some very decent type coverage.

Mega Charizard Y also has a higher attacking stat (159 special attack) than Mega Charizard X (130 attack). And yes, Tough Claws increases most physical moves, but the only physical fire-type moves worth mentioning are Flare Blitz, which does recoil damage, and Fire Punch, which has a base power of 'only' 75. Drought increases all fire-type moves, however, including the much stronger special-based moves Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Heat Wave, Overheat, and even Fire Pledge if you want to go combo (with Water Pledge and/or Grass Pledge, obviously). The only downside to Mega Charizard Y is that it retains its flying typing, which means it still has a quadruple weakness to rock-type moves.

Art of Mega Charizard X (left) and Mega Charizard Y (right)

In the end, either Mega makes for a very good battler. It really doesn't matter which one you choose, because they both have their uses, although Mega Charizard X is a little more versatile; Charizard learns a great deal of good physical moves and fewer special moves than you would think. Is it better than Venusaur and Blastoise? Well... let's say it's definitely better than Venusaur, but I guess that's just my own opinion. And Blastoise? He's the next one on my list to review, so you'll just have to be patient! Meanwhile, I'll give Charizard a full rating of 5 stars. It's a shame I started off so badly with Venusaur, but this excellent rating of Charizard should make up for that, right?

Rating: 5/5

#1 - #3: Bulbasaur, Ivysaur & Venusaur

Old official art of Bulbasaur, drawn by Ken Sugimori.

Awww, Venusaur. Poor thing. You did nothing to deserve my dislike towards you, except... well, exist.

Alright, I'll grant you, Bulbasaur is likeable enough and Ivysaur isn't all that bad either, at least design-wise. But I don't like Venusaur. Like, at all. Never have, in fact, and up to this day I have never chosen Bulbasaur as my starter once, let alone that I have ever used Venusaur in a playthrough or in the competitive scene, period. Like many other players, Charizard and Blastoise were more to my liking and so I always ended up choosing either Charmander or Squirtle instead of Bulbasaur. Compared to a fire-breathing lizard/dragon and a giant-ass turtle with friggin' cannons on its back, a weird flower dinosaur/reptile thing appears to be a lot less awesome. Now, don't get me wrong; Charizard and Blastoise have never belonged to my list of favorite Pokémon, but I like them well enough. And as they both got amazing Mega evolutions in the Nintendo 3DS games X and Y (Charizard even got two, one of which gains the dragon typing upon Mega-evolving instead of its regular flying type), Gen. VI was not kind to Venusaur in the slightest. If anything, its Mega has become even weirder than its normal form, getting an entire jungle on its back, as well as two unluckily placed flowers on its head and... yeah, its ass.

Butt flowers. Are you fucking kidding me, Game Freak?

Well, at least its farts should smell good, ha ha ha.

Anyway.

Fan art of Ivysaur.

So, as I grew up I came to realize that Venusaur wasn't all that great of a Pokémon to use. When I was little, I didn't know that attack, defense, special attack and special defense were based on typings and not on moves. With its decent special attack stat, grass moves hit hard, but all of the other moves it could learn (Hyper Beam, and later on Earthquake and Sludge Bomb in Game Boy Advance games Ruby and Sapphire) were all physical moves that could better be taught to Pokémon that are able to make better use of them because of their superior attack stats. Solar Beam was literally its best move and the only move worth mentioning, but Sunny Day wasn't around in Gen. I yet, so Venusaur was stuck with charging its move every other turn. Even after the physical/special split in Gen. IV (with which I was incredibly happy, I'll tell you that much), Venusaur hasn't been incredible either. If you want a physical Venusaur so badly (Mega Venusaur has a base attack stat of 100, so it wouldn't be that terrible), you might want to go with Earthquake, Outrage and Petal Blizzard, even though Venusaur doesn't learn any physical-based poison-type moves. It's better to make use of its superior special attack and its grass/poison typing and go with a special-based Venusaur instead. You can teach it either Petal Dance or Giga Drain (or both if you want the strength of Petal Dance and the reliability of Giga Drain), Sludge Bomb, and a move or two to annoy the opponent, such as Synthesis and Leech Seed. Venusaur is defensive enough to pull off the tank tactic, and it's the most common way it's used in competitive, anyway. Hyper Beam, which was broken as fuck in Game Boy games Red and Blue, is best to be avoided these days, as Venusaur doesn't benefit from that move at all.

Official Ken Sugimori art of regular Venusaur (left) and Mega Venusaur (right). 

While this Pokémon lacks diversity in its movepool, it definitely has its uses if you know what you're doing, and there are certainly people who do like Venusaur - people who can find ways to make excellent use of it. But at the end of the day, my dislike for Venusaur has only grown over the years, and X and Y made that even worse by giving it a close-to-horrid Mega evolution design-wise. To make things worse, its Pokédex entries throughout the games (or its flavor or characteristics, as I like to call them) aren't anything special; they're what most real-life plants do as well. This Pokémon is, and will always be, one of those Pokémon I won't ever use in any way possible, just because it doesn't appeal to me personally. I don't hate Venusaur, let that be clear, but I don't like it. Especially now that there are so many other starter Pokémon to choose from (and we're still counting, mind you), the chances that I'll grow affective towards Venusaur are practically zero. Plus, I don't see myself starting to develop 'feelings' for it in general; I've disliked Venusaur way too much for way too long for that.

Rating: 2.5/5