#273 - #275: Seedot, Nuzleaf & Shiftry

A papercraft Seedot on top of a pile of real-ass
acorns. Ingenious.

Remember those Pokémon that like to randomly drop from the sky, like Sunkern? Well, Seedot is the same, except in this case it makes more sense: the short stem on top of the cap-like thing on its head gives it the appearance of an acorn and is used to hang on trees, where Seedot absorbs their moisture and nutrients and falls to the ground with a thump when it becomes too heavy. It doesn't only look like an acorn, it is also classified as the 'Acorn Pokémon' and is even mistaken for a nut when it remains still, startling other Pokémon by moving when it is being 'preyed' upon. It even finds delight in scaring other Pokémon, that naughty little shit. And it doesn't get any better when it evolves into Nuzleaf, because Nuzleaf uses the leaf on its head as a flute to make music that creates senses of unease, uncertainty and even dread in people, even though it is perfectly able to play pleasant melodies. It will come out of its natural habitat - the forest - to purposely frighten people, which is not even mischievous behavior anymore but just plain bullying. Nuzleaf, you have issues. Then again, Nuzleaf is now also a dark type instead of a pure grass type like Seedot, and in Japanese the type translates to 'evil type'. What's curious is that both Seedot and Nuzleaf seem to be vain creatures: Seedot has a body that becomes glossier the more water it drinks and polishes it with leaves once a day to look pretty, whereas Nuzleaf hates having its long nose pinched, although I wouldn't like that either if I had a nose like that.

Nuzleaf on a Topps Pokémon card. 

That nose is kind of a big thing when it comes to Pinocchio - pardon me, Nuzleaf. The English name for it already contains the word 'nose', but its Japanese name is Konohana (コノハナ), which literally means 'big nose'. And that's not all, because its German name Blanas is derived from Blad, Blatt and Nase - 'brat', 'leaf' and 'nose' respectively - and its Korean name Ipseko (잎새코) contains saeko, which means 'pointy nose'. That nose is kind of an important in the designs of Nuzleaf and its evolution Shitry, because they seem to be based on the tengu, a cruel and tricky Japanese goblin often associated with a humongous nose. The earliest tengu were depicted with beaks, as they were originally believed to be avian creatures, but the long nose is widely considered the one defining characteristic of a tengu today. Shiftry's feet even resemble the type of geta (a kind of Chinese-Japanese footwear that resemble both clogs and flip-flops) that tengu are usually pictured with, called tengu-geta, while the hand fans Shiftry has for hands resemble the feathered fan called a ha-uchiwa most tengu are depicted holding. The dark type really does Shiftry justice, as it is a wicked and mysterious Pokémon that is said to live in the tops of 1,000-year-old trees and is feared by people as the guardian of the forest. It is said to arrive with chilly, wintry winds and the hand fans - or fan hands - can even generate gusts of wind in excess of 100 feet per second, being able to blow anything away. Shiftry is even able to read an opponent's mind, then take pre-emptive action.

Team Rocket surrounded by a bunch of Shiftry. Yes, Meowth and
James are both dressed up as Jessie; no, I don't know why. 

Unfortunately, Shiftry isn't all that menacing in competitive play. Its good HP doesn't really back up its worse-than-medicore defenses and its speed isn't anything out of the ordinary, either. Its best stats are its base 100 attack and base 90 special attack, which are workable but make Shiftry more of a glass cannon. Luckily, there are two sets you can use: a Swords Dance set and a Nasty Plot set. Swords Dance can be used to buff up Shiftry's attack stat, while the rest of the slots in its moveset consist of strong attacking moves. Its average make it more reliable on Sucker Punch than it would like to, but it is merely an option and can be replaced with Knock Off instead, while Seed Bomb, Leaf Blade, X-Scissor and Rock Slide are viable options to fill in the rest of its moveset. A physical set does require an Adamant or Jolly nature, and if you let another Pokémon set up the sun for Shiftry, it can make use of the speed boost its ability Chlorophyll provides it in harsh sunlight. This also works when Shiftry is running Nasty Plot and thus makes use of a special moveset rather than a physical one. Honestly, its special movepool is much better than its physical movepool: it learns Giga Drain, Dark Pulse, Focus Blast, Energy Ball, Leaf Storm, Shadow Ball (redundant, as ghost-type moves cover the same types dark-type moves do), Hurricane (a reference to its ability to whip up strong gusts of wind) and even Extrasensory, which is oddly Nuzleaf's former signature move, even though it's a grass/dark type and not a psychic type. It goes without saying that Shiftry needs a Modest or Timid nature when running Nasty Plot rather than Swords Dance, but one thing's for sure: both sets can be extremely deadly when Shiftry is holding a Life Orb.

And should you want to get rid of screens and/or entry hazards, Shiftry can learn Defog through breeding. I'd recommend giving another Pokémon a move that can remove entry hazards and the like, but at least the option to give it to Shiftry is right there. You can even make Shiftry a mixed attacker and give it Growth instead of Nasty Plot or Swords Dance so that it can boost both its physical and special attack by one stage each (two when the sun is in effect).

Who doesn't want a GIF of three Seedot jumping up and down? Adorable.

Shiftry is... interesting, I guess? Its design is not as appealing as Ludicolo's and it's not as viable in the competitive scene as Ludicolo is, but at least its flavor in general is kind of interesting. Both Shiftry and Ludicolo are based on certain Japanese yōkai, with the Shiftry family based on the tengu and the Ludicolo family based on the kappa. This makes them parallels to each other - or counterparts, if you will - especially when you consider both evolutionary lines are version-exclusive: Seedot can be caught on Route 102 in Ruby, while Lotad can be found in the same area in Sapphire. Shiftry's design is a little too blocky to my taste and I am of the opinion that it doesn't look as natural as Ludicolo does, but that doesn't necessarily mean I hate it. I just don't think it is worthy of any rating higher than 3.5 stars.

P.S.: What the FUCK is up with that mullet, though?

Rating: 3.5/5

#270 - #272: Lotad, Lombre & Ludicolo

Lotad watering flowers using the dish-shaped lilypad on its back.

Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire were unique in the sense that they provided version-exclusive counterparts to be caught early on in the game. Even before you'd reach Petalburg City, Lotad could be caught on Route 102 in Sapphire, while Seedot could be caught in the same area in Ruby. While both got unique typings (Seedot evolves into the grass/dark-type Pokémon Nuzleaf, who eventually evolves into Shiftry, while Lotad is water/grass to begin with and stays that way all the way up to its final evolution Ludicolo), Lotad and its evolutions are basically the superior counterparts. Water/grass is such a good typing that it eliminates weaknesses to moves of common types like electric, grass, ice and fire, making them neutral instead, and leaves Lotad with trivial weaknesses to bug and flying and a significant one to poison due to all the fairy types chillin' around lately. Lotad itself is not all that interesting; it is a fresh-water Pokémon with a lilypad on its back, which is used to ferry smaller Pokémon that can't swim across lakes and ponds sometimes and withers when Lotad becomes dehydrated. That's pretty much all there is to say about it, to be honest. Nothing out of the ordinary to be seen here.

Lombre carrying three adorable Mudkipsies on
the hat-like lilypad on its head.

When Lotad evolves, however, it'll become a Pokémon Donald Trump would dub a 'bad hombre'. (Disclaimer: I pity any American who voted for Trump and thinks he will in fact change their country for the better, but I truly feel sorry for those who voted for Hillary Clinton and have to put up with a misogynistic, racist, homophobic and just generally douchy excuse for a President now.) You see, Lombre is a play on either hombre or sombrero - Spanish for 'man' or 'hat', respectively - or both, although its Japanese and German names of Hasubrero (ハスブレロ) and Lombrero definitely point to the latter. If you look closely, you'll see that the lilypad on its head indeed looks a little like this distinctive Mexican hat everybody would recognize from a considerable distance. Also, Lombre looks like it's wearing overalls, giving it the general appearance of a lazy Mexican, which even I think is a little stereotypical. But Lombre is primarily based on a certain creature from Japanese mythology: we've come across Golduck already, who seems to have some traits of a kappa, but Lombre is more obviously based on this creature. Kappa means 'river child' and this may be why Lombre is often mistaken for a human child, but aside from that it also has the aesthetic features of a kappa: the dish on a kappa's head is called a sara and is the source of its power, while the turtle-like beak it is often depicted with can also be found in Lombre's design (when Lombre opens its mouth, it resembles a Mexican with a mustache, too). However, there is nothing much to say about Lombre's Pokédex entries, except for the fact that the film that covers its body is unpleasant to touch and that it is a mischief-maker. When it spots anglers, it tugs on their fishing lines from beneath the surface to interfere and enjoys their consternation, and it even pops out of rivers to startle people. Naughty, naughty Lombre.

Even in the anime Ludicolo has a Mexican Trainer.

The Mexican aspects of this evolutionary line's designs become especially apparent when Lombre evolves into Ludicolo by use of a Water Stone: its headgear now looks more like a traditional sombrero, complete with a pointed crown shaped like a pineapple, while its body seems to be draped in a zigzag-patterned poncho. As if that wasn't enough already, all the cells in Ludicolo's body become stimulated when it hears children singing on hiking outings or just festive music in general, and it will break into a dance as it becomes more energetic and active, making it more powerful. All this certainly makes most people associate Ludicolo with a stereotypical Mexican dancer. However, Japan is a rather homogeneous country: 98% of the population is of Japanese descent and their knowledge of or experience with foreign people is practically nonexistent, so it could very well be that Nintendo and Game Freak were trying to create Pokémon with aesthetics referring to the Mexican culture and it didn't occur to them that said aesthetics are actually regarded as racial stereotypes. The same thing happened with Jynx, who looked evidently African in its older official art with its black skin and thick pink lips. The Story of Little Black Sambo is still considered a classic in Japan and merchandise hereof is still being sold like hotcakes, including things like palm tree kits, figurines, coffee mugs, school accessories and even fruit. It's not exactly what Jynx is based on, but I don't think it is a coincidence that it had a black skin before it was changed to purple due to controversy, even though it wasn't created with bad intentions.

Ludicolo (right) performing some exotic dance with Roserade (left) and Sceptile
(middle), playing the bongo drums in the meantime. 

I reckon the creation of Lombre and Ludicolo didn't go any differently, although it doesn't help that the suffix -colo might be an anagram of loco, Spanish for 'crazy', or may be a reference to the Spanish word for 'ridiculous', ridículo. Additionally, 'ludic' is an adjective you use when you refer to someone who is aimlessly playful (Ludicolo is also classified as the 'Carefree Pokémon') and Ludicolo's name might even refer to the word 'ludicrous', which means something is absurd or laughable. For Nintendo and Game Freak it's probably just a serious attempt to create a pocket monster, but to many people, Ludicolo being a laughably crazy Mexican dancer will have a negative connotation. I'm not particularly bothered by Pokémon clearly based on certain ethnicities, especially since I believe they affirm that Pokémon is meant to be universally recognizable. Since Gen. V, the regions in the core series games have started to be inspired by areas outside of Japan as well: Unova was based on New York City, Kalos was clearly based on France and the Alola region in the upcoming Sun and Moon games is supposed to be an adaptation of Hawaii. Still, I think Game Freak should exercise caution when it comes to applying certain stereotypical features to certain Pokémon's designs, like Ludicolo. At least it can still say it is based on a kappa, as its respective Japanese, German, Korean and Chinese names of Runpappa (ルンパッパ), Kappalores, Ropapa (로파파) and Lètiānhétóng (樂天河童) suggest - lètiān and hétóng mean 'happy-go-lucky' and kappa, respectively, so its Chinese name literally means 'happy kappa', which is cute.

A pretty cool drawing of a shiny Ludicolo.

How does this platypus duck thing hold up in the games, though? Well, while its base stat total of 480 isn't anything crazy, you'll be able to work with it. Its mediocre base 70 defense and excellent base 100 special defense are backed up by its more-than-decent base 80 HP, which makes it a moderately bulky Pokémon all around. What's more, its base 90 special attack can even be used to sweep, especially in the rain. You see, Ludicolo has access to the Swift Swim ability, which doubles its speed when it's raining, so you can set up Rain Dance and pretty much execute a late-game sweep with Hydro Pump. Because its speed is already doubled due to Rain Dance, a Modest nature and a Life Orb as Ludicolo's held item are recommended. So is a complete moveset, by the way, so give it Ice Beam and Giga Drain as a finishing touch. You can even let another Pokémon set up the rain for Ludicolo and replace Rain Dance with Focus Blast in order to have some extra type coverage, although this is optional. There's a Swords Dance set mentioned on Smogon, but due to Ludicolo's mediocre base 70 attack I don't recommend running it, unless you want to catch your opponent off guard. A Waterfall in the rain still hurts, of course, but Hydro Pump - or even Surf if you want a more accurate move - hits much harder, not to mention moves like Giga Drain and Ice Beam are more useful or hit harder than their physical counterparts Seed Bomb and Ice Punch. I mean, Giga Drain is Ludicolo's only means of recovery, except when you let it hold the Leftovers, which honestly works much better in conjunction with its second ability called Rain Dish.

Ludicolo playing in a pond with Ducklett (in the sombrero on Ludicolo's head),
Surskit (on the water), Lotad (in the water), and Goldeen and Poliwag, who can
vaguely be seen underwater.

Ludicolo is an interesting Pokémon. So far, it and its pre-evolutions are the only water/grass dual-types in the Pokémon games, unless Pokémon Sun and Moon will have some pleasant surprises in store for us (THIRTEEN MORE DAYS UNTIL I CAN FINALLY PLAY THESE GAMES I'M SO HYPED AAAAHHHHH!!!). Ludicolo is a comical yet surprisingly useful Pokémon and I really like it, so I'm giving it a 4.5-star rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#252 - #254: Treecko, Grovyle & Sceptile

Fan art of Treecko (on top of Sceptile), Grovyle (left) and
Sceptile (right).

It's time to enter the Hoenn region, and what better way to do that than to start off with the best starter Pokémon ever? I am, of course, talking about Sceptile. Its pre-evolution Treecko, however, is a feisty little thing. It is a cool, calm and collected Pokémon in dire situations and almost never gets upset, although it is bold enough to hold staredowns with opponents larger than itself. While it is clearly based on the leaf-tailed gecko, a species of lizard that blends in with plant-like appendages, the digits on Treecko's hands and feet have small hooks rather than adhesive toepads and enable it to scale vertical walls with ease. It is even able to predict the next day's weather by sensing humidity with its tail. Grovyle isn't all that interesting; it has stronger muscles than Treecko and is known for its dexterity in the treetops, as it has powerful legs that allow him to leap from branch to branch with astounding agility, which I'm sure Treecko is able to do to some extent as well. The leaves protruding from Grovyle's body are used for camouflage, which is not surprising for a Pokémon that is based off of geckos. And while Bulbapedia states that Grovyle - and Sceptile, for that matter - resembles certain species of dinosaurs appearance-wise, I still consider the whole evolution line lizards, geckos in particular.

This Treecko wants to be a Sceptile so badly that it is dressed
in a Sceptile tracksuit. So adorable.

I mean, there were some feathered bipedal dinosaurs, and the leaves on Grovyle's arms do give it some aesthetic similarities to dromaeosaurus and protarchaeopteryx, but where is the collar-like appendage on Sceptile that the dilophosaur is so well-known for nowadays? Or did Michael Crichton and Jurassic Park's scenarists make it up entirely? I don't think so. No, I'm sticking with leaf-tailed geckos, and you can take that quite literally: Sceptile has a leafed tail that looks like the tree branch of a conifer. Also, its behavior seems to be more plant-like than lizard-like, as it seems to be basking in sunlight to regulate its body temperature. Sceptile also has two rows of yellow nodules on its back, which are described as seeds with nourishing effects and the ability to revitalize trees. This gives Sceptile resemblances to leguminous plants with nitrogen stored in nodes of their roots, while the seeds or seed pods of these legumes contain quite some nutrients, too: well-known examples that can be included in a healthy diet are peas, beans, peanuts, lentils and soybeans. Aesthetically, the rows of nodes on Sceptile's back - especially when it comes to shiny and Mega Sceptile - bear resemblances to seed cones of certain yew trees. And considering the entire Treecko line's relation to trees, this affiliation is not too farfetched.

Official art of Mega Sceptile, which is one of my favorite Megas
to date. The tail is longer than regular Sceptile's and can be fired
at opponents like a missile.

Unfortunately, Sceptile has been nerfed in Gen. IV, making its then signature move Leaf Blade a physical move while Sceptile itself was more of a special attacker. It is still more of a special attacker, but its physical movepool is so much better. Crunch and Dragon Claw were two of its best special-based coverage moves because of their typings, but since the Gen. IV physical/special split they're physical. Furthermore, Sceptile learns Earthquake, Outrage, Iron Tail, Thunder Punch, Drain Punch, Rock Slide, X-Scissor and Brick Break, whereas the best special-based moves it can get are several grass-type moves like Leaf Storm and Energy Ball and two coverage moves in Focus Blast and Dragon Pulse. Dragon-type moves do get a STAB boost upon Mega-evolving, but it's basically adding insult to injury. However, I personally like a physical Sceptile more than a special one, although this is mainly because of its insanely large physical movepool and access to Swords Dance. Like, Mega Sceptile's base attack stat is still a solid 110, so it isn't bad by any means, although its base 145 special attack and ability Lightning Rod (draws in electric-type moves, nullifies them and raises Mega Sceptile's special attack by one stage afterwards) inarguably make it more of a special attacker. And you know what? A special moveset is the most efficient and most utilized moveset on Sceptile, but a Swords Dance set is so much more fun to use, only because of its gigantic physical movepool. And because its base 145 speed is already insane to begin with, you can easily run an Adamant nature instead of a Jolly nature; barring any Pokémon holding a Choice Scarf, it'll outspeed everything anyway.

Ash's Sceptile, with its signature twig.

Sceptile, and especially its Mega form, is my favorite starter Pokémon to date, although I have to say they're gonna be surpassed by Litten and Torracat and whatever their final evolution will be when Pokémon Sun and Moon drop. And I'm not joking this time. Of course, Sceptile will forever be one of my favorite Pokémon, not in the least because Ash owned a Sceptile that showed some serious badassery and personality in the anime. It already came up with and perfected new variations of certain moves when it was still a Treecko or Grovyle, but as a Sceptile it started keeping a twig in its mouth like a banchō, a Japanese juvenile gang leader. This character type was very common in sixties and early seventies manga and anime and it gave Sceptile a little bit more of a mischievous personality, which I loved. By the way, have you seen Sceptile's shiny form? Gorgeous. This factor, and all of the other factors described above, at least result in a perfect rating from me on this blog.

Rating: 5/5

#251: Celebi

From the formidable and magnificent Lugia and the gracful and colorful Ho-Oh, we move on to... a tiny fairy-like Pokémon that isn't even a fairy type. Well, re-typing a mythical Pokémon would have been a bit of a stretch, so I'm not bothered in the slightest.

Celebi and Mew, two 'pixie' Pokémon.

No, Celebi is a psychic/grass type instead, and it appears to be a forest guardian of some sort. Known in legend as the "Voice of the Forest", it can bring deceased Celebi back to life and restore plants and trees to perfect health, letting them grow in unimaginable abundance. The most remarkable thing about this Pokémon is that it can travel through time and exist simultaneously throughout time, protecting forests and recovering or planting them after times of conflict. However, it only shows itself in areas and times of peace, and it has been regarded that a prosperous and bright future is still in store for the Pokémon world as long as Celebi are seen throughout the world. Being a forest guardian, Celebi is probably based on a dryad or Δρυάς, a tree nymph from Greek mythology, or the Japanese myth of the kodama, which is also a kind of tree spirit. I see what Game Freak wanted to go with here. There is just one Pokédex entry, from Pokémon Silver and Pokémon FireRed, that thoroughly confuses me, though: "When Celebi disappears deep in the forest, it is said to leave behind an egg it brought from the future." What is this egg? Is it Celebi's? What will hatch from it? And why did Celebi bring it to the past (or present, depending how you look at it) from the future? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and so far Game Freak haven't made an attempt to clarify this entry. The egg is still shrouded in mystery and we're probably never gonna find out what exactly it is all about.

Celebi lying on the Ilex Forest shrine, where it could be
encountered in Gold, Silver, HeartGold and SoulSilver. 

This does not leave Celebi underexposed compared to Mew, however. Even though it wasn't as successful as Mew's, Celebi got its own movie in Pokémon 4Ever - Celebi: Voice of the Forest, in which a Celebi is hunted by a Pokémon poacher 40 years in the past and teleports both itself and a young Sammy Oak (the same Samuel Oak we know as the Pokémon Professor) to the future. Here, the now aged poacher is intimidated by an elite officer of Team Rocket, the Iron-Masked Marauder, and forced to tell everything he knows about Celebi, while Sammy Oak obviously comes across Ash and Pikachu for storyline purposes. Celebi was also used in a HeartGold and SoulSilver event, in which the player encounters it at the Ilex Forest shrine. The player is sent back three years in the past in order to see Giovanni abandon his son Silver after having been defeated by Red in Kanto, and then further ahead in time to battle and defeat Giovanni in order to prevent him from reuniting with Team Rocket during their takeover of the Goldenrod Radio Tower. In a 2008 interview with anime director and storyboard artist Masamitsu Hidaka, it was revealed that the anime creators planned to use Celebi in a Johto storyline arc. It was contained in the GS Ball, but the writers decided to move the plot to the fourth movie and hoped the viewers would just forget about the GS Ball when Ash and his friends left it with Kurt. Furthermore, Celebi was included in some spin-off games: it can purify Shadow Pokémon when it is summoned to Relic Forest with a Time Flute in Pokémon Colosseum, it can be seen in a couple of Smash Bros. games, and a shiny Celebi guides and supports the protagonist in the main storyline in two Mystery Dungeon games.

Both Celebi and Virizion (one of my top 10
favorite Pokémon) are green, but have been given
pink shiny forms with a hint of green. Beautiful.

Lastly, Celebi is a very viable Pokémon to use in the main competitive metagame. Its base stats are 100 across the board, like Mew's, and it can be used offensively as well as defensively, or even a mix thereof. It has access to Nasty Plot, which is a move that sharply raises its special attack and is perfect for setting up against bulky water types. Its special movepool is vast and consists of moves like Leaf Storm, Giga Drain, Energy Ball, Psychic, Dazzling Gleam, Shadow Ball, Charge Beam, Earth Power, Signal Beam and even Water Pulse if you really need it. With a Life Orb attached, Celebi deals some massive damage, and a Timid nature should let it outspeed quite some Pokémon. Nasty Plot is event-only, so Calm Mind could be an alternative option should you not have an event Celebi at hand. However, if you run a Bold or Calm Celebi, you can go the defensive way. And it learns quite some support moves to go with this tactic: Recover heals half of its HP, Perish Song lets both Pokémon on the battlefield faint in three turns and forces the opponent to hard-switch into another Pokémon, Baton Pass passes on stat changes to another Pokémon on your team, Stealth Rock can be used to set up an entry hazard, Thunder Wave and Toxic inflict the paralyzed or poisoned status condition on an opponent, Protect lets Celebi Toxic-stall, Heal Block prevents the opponent from using any moves or items that heals it, Healing Wish lets Celebi faint but completely heals another Pokémon when it enters the battlefield directly after Celebi, Heal Bell heals all status conditions on your team, Reflect and Light Screen are screens that respectively raise the entire team's defense and special defense (works great with the held item Light Clay, which extend the number of moves the screens are in effect), Substitute lets Celebi create a substitute that takes all the damage from an incoming move in exchange for 25% of its health, Magic Coat bounces any status move back to the foe, and even the Rest/Sleep Talk combo might just fucking work. You are spoiled for choice. And when it is holding the Leftovers, you can expect Celebi to last on the battlefield for quite a while.

Celebi with Jirachi, another 'pixie' Pokémon. 

Except for Perish Song, Baton Pass and Healing Wish, Mew can do the exact same thing (it doesn't learn Recover, but it has access to Roost instead). Despite its many weaknesses - seven, including a nasty quadruple one to bug - Celebi isn't any less viable than Mew. On the contrary, because Celebi is as bulky and offensive as Mew, and a STAB grass-type attack could always come in handy. I'm not that big a fan of Celebi, but I'll be the first to acknowledge its competitive viability, especially as a support Pokémon. Do people actually run a Swords Dance set with Seed Bomb, Zen Headbutt and either Recover or U-Turn, too? I mean, it is an option. In any case, Celebi is the last Johto Pokémon I'm rating; in a couple of days you can expect some... ehm... rough reviews of the Hoenn starters.

Ah, who am I kidding? The Hoenn starters are the best starters in existence (aside from Litten and Torracat, obviously).

Rating: 4/5

#191 - #192: Sunkern & Sunflora

There is so little Sunkern fan art to be found on the Internet that I
decided to use a cute GIF of it instead. Here you are. 

There isn't an awful lot to say about Sunkern and Sunflora. Sunkern is the weakest Pokémon in existence; with base stats of 30 across the board it reaches a base stat total of 180, the lowest of all existing Pokémon. It has the lowest HP of all grass-type Pokémon, and it is tied with Lotad for the lowest defense and with Bellsprout and Seedot for the lowest special defense of all grass types. In other words, it is an awful Pokémon. It is aware of its weakness, though, so all it does is feed itself with the dew that collects beneath leaves and be as still as possible so that it can conserve all the nutrients in its body as effectively as possible. Also, it likes to suddenly plummet from the sky in early mornings, just for the heck of it. And that's all there is to it. When this shooting sunflower seed evolves into an actual goddamn sunflower by use of a Sun Stone, it starts to converts sunlight into nutrition. Jeez, in real-life we have such a thing too, only it's called photosynthesis. Have you ever heard of that? I had never even heard of that. (!)

About the best piece of Sunflora art I could
find. This thing does not have many fans...

In all seriousness, though, they need plenty of sunlight and water and rush about in a hectic manner in pursuit of what they need. When the sun sets, they come to a complete stop and close their petals. This whole solar thing is what Sunflora is about, as it is also its niche in battles: its abilities Chlorophyll and Solar Power both center around sunlight and a few of the moves in its level-up movepool have a connection to the sun, too. It has to be said that almost every grass-type Pokémon can learn Sunny Day and Solar Beam, so it's not all that special. My advice is to not use this thing at all competitively (in a regular playtrough it would do just fine), but I guess it has its uses. When Sunkern evolves into Sunflora, its special attack skyrockets to a solid 105, so at least it packs a punch. Too bad its other stats are mediocre or just plain bad. It's speed is terrible and can only be increased by Chlorophyll, which doubles its speed in harsh sunlight. That's what Sunny Day is for, but as Sunflora is slow and not very defensive, you'll have to let another Pokémon set up the sun. It's more hassle than it's worth, honestly, but let's build from there. Its low speed allows Sunflora to sport a Modest nature and a couple of offensive moves, along with Synthesis. The latter heals Sunflora's HP by 75% when the sun is up, but its movepool is... not very versatile. Naturally, it learns a ton of good special-based grass-type moves, but the only move of another type it can learn is Earth Power. And Sludge Bomb, but that kind of takes away the purpose of all those grass/poison dual-type Pokémon. Or not, because they are generally better at this Chlorophyll thing than Sunflora is. There is Solar Power, which increases Sunflora's special attack in the sun in exchange for some HP, but as Sunflora isn't all that bulky, that's kinda risky, especially when you also let it hold a Life Orb.

You know, I don't hate Sunflora, but I think its design, flavor and competitive and in-game utility could've been executed much better. Right now, it's just there and it's doing nothing in particular, which makes it one of the most forgettable Pokémon ever. I... just can't give it a good rating, I'm sorry.

Rating: 2/5

#187 - #189: Hoppip, Skiploom & Jumpluff

One big, happy family: Hoppip (middle), Skiploom (left) and
Jumpluff (right).

I don't even have the faintest idea where to start with such insignificant Pokémon. It's funny I say that, too, because Hoppip might be derived from 'pipsqueak', which means as much as a person who's considered insignificant because of their small size or young age. That's not the reason why I'm calling Hoppip and its evolutions insignificant, though; no, the reason why I see them as such is because I don't think they're good Pokémon at all. Hoppip and Skiploom are actually terrible Pokémon: they have no attacking power whatsoever, and their defenses aren't anything to write home about, either. But if you think Jumpluff is where it's at, you're dead wrong. Okay, if you put some investment in its HP and one or either of its defensive stats, it might live two or three hits that aren't super effective, but it is generally a bad Pokémon. It's no good using it offensively, not even with its ability Infiltrator, which ignores the effects of Reflect, Light Screen, Safeguard and Mist and even bypasses Substitute. The only thing that Jumpluff could be used for, at least in my opinion, is for putting an opponent to sleep and then U-Turn the fuck out in order for you to switch into another Pokémon to finish that opponent off. Seems like as good a strategy as any, although there are other grass-type Pokémon who can do the exact same job for you while they're still packing a punch. They're probably not as fast as Jumpluff, but I guess you'll just have to accept that if you want a better Pokémon overall.

Cute Hoppip fan art.

Oh, you say there are better sets for Jumpluff? Well, it learns Swords Dance, and it looks great in combination with Seed Bomb and Acrobatics, but the latter only has a power of 110 when Jumpluff isn't holding any item, so that means you can't enhance its 'strength' even further with a held item if you want to use that move. And you might not have a choice at all, as it's the only good flying-type move it has access to and, above all, you're gonna need all the power you can get. What else should you run, a Bounce/Power Herb combo? It's better to just slap Memento (lowers the foe's attacking stats by two stages but causes Jumpluff to faint instantly) and/or Encore (locks the foe into an unfavorable move) on it and strategically try to maneuver another Pokémon of yours into battle and let it set up safely. Or just shy away from Jumpluff altogether.

I notice that this kind of art, in which cute Pokémon are thrown
on a heap, is fairly popular on the Internet. In this picture, a
shiny Hoppip is thrown into the mix. 

It's too bad I have to say that, because I absolutely LOVE Hoppip, Skiploom and Jumpluff's designs. They're based on the life cycle of a dandelion, which used to be my favorite flower when I was a kid, just because I would pluck them in the last phase of their life and blow the fluff away. The leaves on Hoppip's head, which have ragged edges, resemble those of the dandelion, while Skiploom's flower and Jumpluff's fluff are based on the middle and last stages of a dandelion's lifespan, respectively. Their names are a play on the phase , which means that something is just a short distance away. It's quite ironic, because Hoppip can drift away and uncontrollably fly long distances if they aren't careful, which is why they gather in clusters to protect themselves from strong winds that they can sense approaching.

Jumpluff.

Skiploom largely has its movements under control, though, and even tries to get closer to the sun in order to get some much-needed vitamin D. Nah, just kidding. It's just that the flower on its head opens and closes as the temperature fluctuates and blossoms when it gets warmer than 64°F. How much the bloom opens depends on the temperature as well, which is why Skiploom is often used as a thermometer by humans. Jumpluff very much behaves like a dandelion in the last phase of its life, as it drifts on seasonal winds to spread its spores and make offspring (yet in the games, Hoppip still hatch from eggs). Much like Skiploom, it hates rain and cold air currents, so it only rides warm southern winds. Even here, the phrase "Just a hop, skip, and a jump away" appears to be quite ironic, because Jumpluff uses these winds to cross seas and fly to far, foreign lands. I'm almost starting to think Game Freak's use of that phrase was meant to be ironic, but I don't think they're that clever, LOL. Also, it's a nice touch how Jumpluff's cotton-puff spores on/in its hands - I have no idea which one the fuck it is - resemble pom-poms; you know, those things that are often used by cheerleaders to cheer for high school sport teams. Maybe that's why Jumpluff is generally better to use as a support Pokémon, ha ha ha.

Okay, I'm lame.

I've always loved these Pokémon, but it's such a shame I found out they're not really good in battle, not even in-game. Skiploom evolves into Jumpluff at an early level (level 27), but that doesn't really help Jumpluff's cause, either: it might be good at the beginning of the game, but it'll fall behind on the other Pokémon in your team. Putting the foe to sleep with Sleep Powder and switch out afterwards is only useful in Nuzlocke variants, so I was very disappointed with it when I was doing a regular playthrough. That's why they're now a whole star short of a perfect rating, but I have to do this, however much I like these things.

Rating: 4/5

#152 - #154: Chikorita, Bayleef & Meganium

It's been almost 10 months since I started this blog and I've only now managed to complete reviewing the Pokémon from the Kanto Pokédex. But there are five more generations of Pokémon to come (six if you count the upcoming games Sun and Moon), and next up are the Pokémon from the Gold/Silver/Crystal era, so I'm definitely not done yet.

This is the Japanese promotional flyer for
Pokémon Gold and Silver. Chikorita still had
a yellowish body. which was changed into
light green in Pokémon Crystal. 

Let's start with the first Pokémon in the Johto Pokédex, shall we? The very first generation started with the grass-, fire- and water-type starters, respectively, and Game Freak have upheld that tradition ever since. I never liked Venusaur, but from Johto to Unova my favorite starter Pokémon was always the grass-type starter, until Greninja broke the streak in 2013. Chikorita, however, is often perceived as the worst starter Pokémon, something I do absolutely not agree with. Okay, it has to be said that all Johto starters were a little underwhelming, especially because their stat distributions aren't quite right. Meganium is a defensive Pokémon that doesn't really have attacking prowess, which is often quite necessary in normal playthroughs, and Feraligatr was a physical attacker that could learn mostly special-based moves. At the time, the type determined whether moves were physical or special and the water type was still entirely special-based in Gold and Silver. But the worst starter is and will always be Venusaur, at least in my own very humble opinion. That ugly smallpoxed reptile snatches all the love away from Meganium, especially since it got an even uglier Mega evolution, but Meganium really doesn't deserve all the hate it gets. While there are grass-type Pokémon that are either physically bulky or specially bulky, Meganium can be both: just invest EVs in HP and either defense or special defense. You can slap a Calm or Bold nature onto it, respectively, and make it hold Leftovers for some recovery every turn, which only add up to its natural bulk and make it a tough opponent to take down. If you're not going for a sun team, which I don't really recommend in the first place, you might want to ignore its hidden ability Leaf Guard and go for its normal ability Overgrow instead, which powers up grass-type moves when Meganium's health gets below ⅓. That might come in handy when you're using Giga Drain.

Meganium.

Even though it's true that it is outclassed by some other bulky grass types, it has to be said that Meganium has some pretty sweet moves in its aresenal that makes it stand out. First off, it has access to Aromatherapy, a move that not too many Pokémon can learn and that heals every Pokémon in your team from a status condition. Synthesis is more common, but it provides for some decent HP recovery, while Giga Drain does damage and restores Meganium's HP by half the damage done. That makes it a pain in the ass even more. As for the last slot, you could teach Meganium Dragon Tail or Toxic or whatever, but it has access to an even niftier move: Counter, wich deals double the damage done to Meganium by a physical move. If you have a physically bulky Meganium and you are certain you can take a hit from a strong foe, you can just hit Counter and blow them the fuck away. At least you'll have the element of surprise. Safer options are the screens, which raise the defense (Reflect) and special defense (Light Screen) of the entire team. And although I am not really into competitive play, I once surprised my opponent with - believe it or not - a physically offensive Meganium (Adamant nature, holding a Choice Band) with a moveset consisting of Petal Blizzard, Earthquake, Iron Tail and Outrage. Not exactly a common way to use it, but it put in some work and I had a lot of fun with it. I still recommend using Meganium as a support Pokémon, though.

One big, happy family. 

But what about its flavor? Well, Chikorita and its evolutions are obviously based on sauropods, humongous dinosaurs with very long necks, long tails, small heads and pillar-like legs (you probably remember the brachiosaurus from Jurassic Park, right?). Or at least Bayleef and Meganium are; Chikorita looks more like a pear, with that leaf on its head and its body shape. It uses the leaf to determine the temperature and humidity of the surrounding air and to give off a soothing aroma. That aroma intensifies when Chikorita evolves into Bayleef: the fragrance wafting from the curled-up leaves around its neck gains a spicy scent that exhibits various beneficial effects on itself, nearby people or other Pokémon who inhale it, having a combination of energizing, stimulating, mood-improving and healing effects. This is kinda curious, because Bayleef's vegetable part is based on the leaves of the bay laurel (bay leaves), and rather than spicy they have a bitter and herbal taste similar to thyme. Admittedly, the oil extracted from these leaves is used for healing and as a stimulant in aromatherapy. Meganium's fragrance, on the other hand, is almost hallucination-inducing. It gives those who stand near the impression of being in a clean and lush forest, while it retains the calming and spiriting effects of Chikorita and Bayleef's aromas as well: it contains a substance that soothes aggressive feelings. Also, Meganium's breath can revive dead grass and plants. No mean feat!

This realistic take on Chikorita, Bayleef and Meganium is amazing! 

Meganium is love, Meganium is life! Literally, ha ha ha.

Anyway, on a more serious note, the main reason why I love Chikorita and its kin is BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIGGIN' DINOSAURS!!! Their designs are also very well-thought-out and you're probably just calming down by looking at them. Unless you hate Meganium, that is, but I don't know why you would hate it in the first place. Also, I always enjoyed Ash's Chikorita (later a Bayleef) when it was on TV, being the feisty, stubborn little thing it is. I can even remember Bayleef having some kind of crush on Ash, which was hilarious and adorable at the same time. To all y'all haters out there: I am giving these Pokémon a perfect rating, period.

Rating: 5/5

#133 - #136, #196 - #197, #470 - #471, #700: Eevee, Vaporeon, Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon, Umbreon, Leafeon, Glaceon & Sylveon

Y'all bitches better prepare yourselves, 'cause this is going to be one lengthy-ass article. I think. No, definitely.

Today I want to talk about one of my favorite evolution lines in existence: Eevee and its evolutions. They are often affectionately called Eeveelutions by most Pokémon freaks, and from here on out, I will refer to Eevee's evolutions by using this term. Unless, of course, I'm calling the Pokémon by its actual name. Obviously.

Eevee (middle), surrounded by its eight possible evolutions.

So... Eevee. Eevee is a curious Pokémon, being able to evolve into a whopping EIGHT possible Pokémon, which is more than any other Pokémon. Tyrogue is, with three possible evolutions, not even a close second; and if Game Freak had stopped adding new Eeveelutions after Gen. I, Tyrogue would have been tied with Eevee. But Game Freak didn't stop, and after Vaporeon, Jolteon and Flareon we also got Espeon, Umbreon, Leafeon, Glaceon and the recently added Sylveon. The main reason why Eevee is able to evolve into any one of these eight different Pokémon is because it has irregularly shaped DNA that allows it to adapt to many different kinds of environments, changing its appearance and abilities completely in order for it to better suit its surroundings. It all depends on its habitat. Eevee is not like Ditto, who can transfrom into any Pokémon it sees and change back whenever it suits it; Eevee's evolution is permanent and is triggered by fulfilling certain requirements. In Red, Blue and Yellow, evolving Eevee was relatively easy, as Vaporeon, Jolteon and Flareon were obtainable by exposing Eevee to a Water Stone, Thunder Stone or Fire Stone, respectively. After that, it became harder to have Eevee evolve. Espeon and Umbreon can both be obtained by maxing out Eevee's friendship level and then leveling it up during the daytime or nighttime, respectively. Eevee will evolve into either Leafeon or Glaceon by leveling it up near the Moss Rock or Ice Rock, respectively, but this can be hard, as Eevee has often been unobtainable (or the Moss and Ice Rock inaccessible) in the main storyline since Diamond and Pearl. Finally, Gen. VI saw the introduction of Sylveon, who can be obtained by leveling up Eevee while it has a fairy-type move on it and two affection hearts in Pokémon-Amie.

ISN'T THIS THE MOST ADORABLE THING YOU HAVE EVER
SEEN???

Eevee has always been one of the most popular Pokémon, and it seems to be Game Freak's sweetheart as well. In the first, second and fourth generations, as well as FireRed and LeafGreen (Red and Blue remakes), Eevee is given to the player by a non-player character (NPC). In Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness and Pokémon Conquest, as well as some Mystery Dungeon games, Eevee is the starter Pokémon, while Pokémon Colosseum lets you start with two fully evolved Eeveelutions: Espeon and Umbreon. It's not a surprise that Eevee is so popular: because it is able to evolve into eight different Pokémon of eight different types, it is so diverse that it is impossible not to have at least one favorite Eeveelution. And maybe Eevee itself is one of your favorite Pokémon, just because it's so friggin' adorable. There is an abundance of cute Eevee fan art to be found on the Internet, as well as countless pieces of Eeveelution fan art. And rightfully so, because there is something to be said for any one of the Eeveelutions: Jolteon is the coolest, for example, while Flareon is the cutest, Espeon and Sylveon are the prettiest and Umbreon has the prettiest shiny form.

Look at how savage they are. ROAR!!!

It really helps that each Eeveelution has its own distinct flavor and battle tactics. Vaporeon, for example, has a cell structure that is similar to water molecules, which allows it to melt away and make itself invisible while underwater. It has the ability to control water, and when its fins begin to vibrate, it is a sign that rain will come within a few hours. Because it shares traits with felines and fish, Vaporeon's design may be a visual pun on the catfish, although it may also be inspired by the Telchines of Greek mythology, the original inhabitants of Rhodes. Eevee and its evolutions are even said to be based off of canines, but I personally think they look more feline rather than canine, with the notable exception of Jolteon. Back to Vaporeon. Competitively, Vaporeon has some beefy HP to it, as well as excellent special attack and some pretty damn good special defense. It is therefore often used as a wall, sporting a Bold nature to beef up its mediocre defense, so that it can take physical hits just as well as special ones. Combine it with the ability Water Absorb (nullifies all water-type attacks used on Vaporeon and heals it for 25% of its maximum HP whenever possible), the Leftovers to gain some HP back every turn, the Wish/Protect combo and Heal Bell for some annoying recovery, and Scald for a high chance to burn and thus reduce the impact of physical hits on Vaporeon, and Vaporeon just becomes a pain in the ass. You can also go for an all-out offensive approach; its excellent special attack and access to Ice Beam and other coverage moves like Signal Beam and Shadow Ball leaves it perfectly viable for that.

Awww, Eeveelutions can be cute, too! 

Jolteon, on the other hand, is all about the hit-and-run tactic. It excels in special attack and speed and is therefore more often used as an all-out attacker. A Timid nature, a Life Orb or the Choice Specs as held item and the ability Quick Feet (increases speed when suffering from a non-volatile status condition, although Volt Absorb works great, too) really help it to outspeed most other Pokémon and KO them in one or two hits, especially with moves like Thunderbolt, Volt Switch, Signal Beam and any type of Hidden Power. Jolteon can also learn Shadow Ball, if you find that convenient. Its relatively low HP and defense render it quite frail, though, so watch out. But it's not only its utility in the competitive scene that makes Jolteon a cool Pokémon: its design and flavor are some of the best of the Eeveelutions, in my opinion. Electric-type Pokémon tend to have cool, streamlined designs, and Jolteon is no exception. It is easily sad, angered or startled, and when it is, the hairs of its fur become needles that are fired at its opponents. Every time its mood changes, it accumulates negative ions in the atmosphere to blast out 10,000-volt lightning bolts. Even its cells produce electrical charges, which Jolteon amplifies with the static electricity of its fur and eventually discharges. Because of its feline traits, Jolteon may be based on Raijū, a mythical beast from Japanese mythology whose body is made of thunder and may take the form of a cat.

Fun fact: Jolteon is actually the only Eeveelution with no visible tail.

There is an abundance of cool and cute Eeveelution fan art to be
found on the Internet, but you'll encounter the occasional funny
piece as well. 

But while Jolteon is cool and all, it is not my favorite Eeveelution. Flareon is, and that's because its design comes closest to Eevee of all Eeveelutions. And I love Eevee for its adorableness, so take one guess why I prefer Flareon over all of the others... Exactly, because it's the fluffiest. Its flavor is perfect for that, too, as its fire typing causes it to have a high body temperature up to 1,650°F. That's where its fluffy fur comes into play: it acts as a conductor to release heat into the air, so that Flareon's body doesn't become excessively hot. Its high body temperature is caused by an internal flame sac, which Flareon uses to store and heat inhaled air then exhale it as fire as hot as 3,000°F. This sounds incredibly powerful, but sadly, Flareon isn't such a good competitive battler. It just doesn't seem to have the right stat distribution, because its attack is fantastic and its special defense is really good as well, but everything else just doesn't fit in. It has mediocre HP, defense and speed, which means it is quite frail and will often have to take a hit before it gets the chance to attack, provided that it does get a chance to attack. Its lack of good physical fire-type moves up until Gen. V made it one of the least favorite Eeveelutions to use competitively, which is more than understandable. Thankfully, it got Flare Blitz in Gen. VI, but it deals recoil damage, so watch out with that. As for the rest of its set, Superpower and Quick Attack are must-haves, while Iron Tail can be used to cover rock and fairy types and Substitute may be an option to delay Flareon's downfall. Give it an Adamant nature and give it a Choice Band, or make use of its hidden ability Guts, which increases Flareon's attack by 50% when it has a status condition, and let it hold a Toxic Orb (a Flame Orb won't work, because fire-type Pokémon can't get burned). The Choice Band is the better option, but because of the lack of good physical moves and its poor stat distribution, Flareon sucks ass in the competitive scene. It breaks my heart to say that, but yeah...

More Eeveelution fan art. 

Luckily, we have Espeon, who has about the same hit-and-run tactic like Jolteon. Blessed with excellent special attack and very good speed, Espeon is a great Pokémon to use in the UU tier. It has access to Psychic, Dazzling Gleam and Shadow Ball, as well as Signal Beam, Grass Knot and Morning Sun for some instant recovery, just for convenience. A Timid nature and the Choice Specs or Choice Scarf (a Life Orb if you want to add Calm Mind to Espeon's moveset) are recommended, as is its ability Magic Bounce, which reflects all status moves that would otherwise disadvantage Espeon back to the opponent. Hah, try to Thunder Wave me now, bitch! Synchronize, which causes the opponent to get the same status condition they gave to Espeon, seems nice, but you're better off with Magic Bounce. Espeon seems like a magical Pokémon in the first place, and that's not that far from the truth. Espeon uses the fine hairs of the velvety fur that covers its body to sense and read air currents, so that it can predict the future, the weather and an opponent's movements, while its forked tail quivers when it does that. Espeon appears to be based on the nekomata, also known as bake-neko, which are mysterious and intelligent fork-tailed cats. Ancient writings describe the nekomata as having 'eyes like a cat and a body like a dog', which could explain why Espeon looks feline as well as canine. Espeon is a light-hearted and loyal Pokémon, other than Umbreon (who was introduced in Gen. II alongside Espeon), who has kind of a dark personality.

Shiny Umbreon has blue rings and yellow eyes instead of yellow
rings and red eyes. I think it's very fancy. 

That is not exactly surprising, as Umbreon is a dark-type Pokémon. Being completely black, it can make itself perfectly invisible during nighttime, although the yellow rings on its fur glow faintly when it is exposed to the moon's aura (which is how it evolved in the first place) or when it gets exceptionally excited. It's also a defense mechanism that strikes fear into the hearts anyone nearby, and whenever it is agitated it sprays a poisonous sweat to keep the foe at bay. Its flavor suggests that Umbreon takes on more of a defensive tactic, and that is exactly what it is about. Provided with excellent defenses and some pretty good HP, Umbreon acts as a tank and is usually a pain to take down. Its attacking stats are really poor, though, but it doesn't need them, so don't worry. The Wish/Protect combo is a common tactic that makes Moonlight for instant recovery kinda useless, but it has Heal Bell to cure status conditions and Foul Play to deal some good damage, using the foe's attack stat against them rather than using its own. That way, it doesn't even matter if you're running a Calm, Careful, Impish or Bold nature; any of those is completely fine for it. Of course, the Leftovers are the obvious held item for it, but this time you'd do better to run Synchronize, as Inner Focus only prevents Umbreon from flinching. That seems nice, but it is purely situational and Umbreon can take a hit just fine, anyway. I just can't get over the fact that it looks a little like a hare or a rabbit (the ears!), which is why it could be based on East Asian folklores concerning a moon rabbit.

Why is it so HARD to pick fan art for this article? This one is
totally cute, though.

The Gen. IV additions work a little bit differently from Espeon and Umbreon, as Leafeon is just a... why, it's basically a plant. Well, its genetic structure is that of a plant, which allows it to perform photosynthesis and purify the air around it by sleeping under patches of sunshine. Although it is a pacifist and prefers not to fight, Leafeon has some very good attack, excellent defense and some pretty decent speed. All of its other stats are kinda meh, but if you manage to get a Swords Dance off, you can sweep with Leaf Blade and X-Scissor. Leafeon learns Knock Off, which is handy to make the foe lose its held item, while Synthesis provides some recovery, Baton Pass can be used to pass on the attack boost from Swords Dance to another Pokémon, and Iron Tail provides some very nice coverage against ice and fairy types. Those are all viable options. So what about natures, items and abilities? An Adamant nature isn't bad, but it's not preferred over a Jolly nature. A Choice Band locks Leafeon into using just one move until it is switched out, but it boosts its attack by 50%, while a Life Orb works just as well. Now, Leafeon works best in a sun team, because both of its abilities are only beneficial when the sun is up: Chlorophyll will double its speed, while Leaf Guard prevents it from being afflicted by non-volatile status conditions. So slapping Sunny Day on it might not be a bad idea, either. Additionally, you can even go the (physically) defensive way, but there's Vaporeon and Umbreon for that, so it's kind of unnecessary.

If you gather all Eeveelutions together, the result is a very
colorful bunch. 

Leafeon is definitely a good Pokémon, but Glaceon faces the same problem as Flareon: its stat distribution is not quite right. It has excellent special attack and some pretty good defensive stats, but it doesn't have the speed and HP stats to back them up. It can take a hit, but not exceptionally well, and like Flareon, Glaceon suffers from 'Shallow Movepool Syndrome': the best moves it gets are Ice Beam, Shadow Ball and Signal Beam, but that's about it. Water Pulse and Hidden Power are weaker options with just base 60 power, but I guess Glaceon can pull them off decently with that base 130 special attack. Just make sure you have a Modest-natured one holding the Choice Specs or a Life Orb. Maybe you'd be better off teaching Glaceon Hail, since both its abilities trigger when it's hailing: Snow Cloak raises Glaceon's evasion by 25%, while Ice Body heals a little of its maximum HP every turn. It's a tactic, but it takes time and it's a little bland; just use Vaporeon if you want an Eeveelution with Ice Beam. It's as slow as Glaceon and doesn't hit as hard, but it's bulkier and at least you're sure it'll survive a few hits. Unfortunately, Glaceon's flavor is as bland as its battle strategy. It can freeze its fur and make it stick out like sharp needles, and it is capable of creating ice crystals around it by lowering the temperature of its body and its surroundings. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that is overly special. I really, really like Glaceon's design a lot, but I don't think I would ever use it; at least not competitively.

Sylveon the dragonslayer.

Finally there's Sylveon, the latest addition to the Eevee family. X and Y introduced Pokémon-Amie, a sort of in-game app that allows you to pet and feed your Pokémon. Play with Eevee for a while and have it gain two affection hearts, and it will evolve when you level it up while it knows a fairy-type move. It'll be worth your while, though, as Sylveon is a beautiful Pokémon with a calm vibe to it, emitting a soothing aura from its ribbon-like feelers to calm fights. Of course, Sylveon is very affectionate towards you because you played with it in Pokémon-Amie, so it has the tendency to wrap its feelers around its Trainer's arms and walk with them. Sylveon is based on a sylph, a mythological spirit described as invisible beings of the air, which is why it received the brand new fairy typing. The fairy type has become infamous for its advantage over dragon types, being super effective on and completely immune to them. That's also what makes Sylveon so incredibly popular, along with the fact that it's capable of learning Psyshock, a well-liked move that deals physical damage using the user's special attack. Throw in a Modest nature, the moves Shadow Ball, Moonblast and either Hidden Power or Calm Mind with Choice Specs or a Life Orb, respectively, and it'll be tough to take down, especially on the special side of the spectrum. A Timid nature is an option, but Sylveon isn't very fast in the first place, and you want to max out that delicious special attack. As its special defense is by far its best stat, you could also run the Wish/Protect combo, although Vaporeon is generally better-suited for that, as it has more HP (even though Sylveon's base 95 HP isn't bad in the slightest).

Oh, one more thing: Cute Charm is a bad ability; you definitely want its hidden ability Pixilate, which turns all normal-type moves it uses into fairy-type moves. That works well with Hyper Voice, turning it into a STAB move for Sylveon that goes right through Substitute. It's weaker than Moonblast by only five base points, but it does get a boost from Pixilate, so it certainly pays off!

Very glittery and fancy fan art of the Eeveelutions, with Sylveon in the forefront.

In the end, not all Eeveelutions are equally good, but at least everyone has a favorite one. As I already stated, mine is Flareon, even though it is not the best battler out there. Besides, Eevee is so goddamn cute that it almost kills me. And yes, I know I'm a guy and all, but I have a thing for amazingly cute Pokémon, okay? So leave me be. Anyway, the fact that Eevee evolves into eight different Pokémon (obviously not at the same time) makes it one of the most unique Pokémon to date. And I have the feeling that the developers at Game Freak aren't done with Eevee yet, because I'm wondering whether Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon will contain brand new Eeveelutions as well, even though this whole sun-and-moon concept has been done with Espeon and Umbreon before (and again with Solrock and Lunatone). Then again, new Eeveelutions might be entirely unrelated to the games' storyline.

Okay, what the hell am I doing? We know absolutely nothing about the new games, only that they were announced a short while ago. It's way too early to speculate about games that won't be released until next winter, which is still nine months away, ha ha ha. Damn. Anyhow, all I know is that Eevee and the existing Eeveelutions are definitely some of my favorite Pokémon, because of their designs and uniqueness. You probably won't be surprised I'm giving all of them a perfect rating.

AND NOW I'M DONE FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING MONTH, GODDAMMIT! (Just kidding.)

Rating: 5/5

#114, #465: Tangela & Tangrowth

Old official art of Tangela by Ken Sugimori.

Tangela and Tangrowth... I have no idea what to think of these strange Pokémon. Nobody knows what their vine-covered bodies look like, and apparently nobody seems to take the trouble to find out. Tangela does exactly what you expect it to do: entangle victims when they move too close to them, constantly jiggling its vines so as to deter herbivores that might mistake it for a shrub. Tangela's seaweed-like, ever-growing vines (and Tangrowth's arms, with which it entangles and catches prey, for that matter) will snap off easily and painlessly if the target pulls on them or eat them and grow back almost immediately, which indicates that - at least in Tangela's case - the ensnaring is only a defense mechanism in order to scare off intruders and potential predators. This suggests that their vines are frail, which is contradicted by game mechanics, as Tangela and its evolution Tangrowth are extremely (physically) defensive Pokémon. It would seem logical that Tangela and Tangrowth's vines protect them from severe harm.

Fan art of Tangela (right) and Tangrowth (left). 

That great defense stat comes into handy in competitive play, for both Tangela and Tangrowth. As is the case with Chansey (see previous post), Tangela benefits greatly from the Eviolite, which raises its defense and special defense by 50%. That will help Tangela to take even a couple of special hits. It does not have Chansey's massive HP stat, though, so it is easier to wear down with special moves than Chansey is with physical moves. And while Tangela does rely heavily on the Eviolite, it is not uncommon for some players to run a Modest one with EV training in its base 100 special attack and an offensive moveset consisting of Leaf Storm, Giga Drain, either Hidden Power or Ancient Power, and Sleep Powder to put the foe to sleep. Sludge Bomb is an option as well, to hit grass and fairy types. However, more common are Bold Tangela with EV investment in HP and defense, which emphasize Tangela's endurance and physically defensive character. Especially with the moves Toxic and Synthesis, the latter of which heals half of Tangela's HP, and its hidden ability Regenerator, which heals ⅓ of Tangela's HP when it is switched out, you can make Tangela last for a long time.

TCG art of Tangrowth.

Tangrowth, which can be obtained by leveling up Tangela while it knows Ancient Power (which is in my opinion the dumbest method ever), seems redundant when you have such a useful pre-evolution, but it actually has its uses, especially due to its access to Knock Off. While Tangela's attack stat is nothing to write home about, Tangrowth's base attack and special attack are roughly the same; they're at 100 and 110, respectively. As a result, Tangrowth can be used in plenty of different ways: an all-out physical offensive one with Power Whip, Knock Off, Earthquake, and either Rock Slide or Poison Jab, holding either a Life Orb or a Choice Band; an all-out specially offensive one with Leaf Storm, Focus Blast, Sludge Bomb and Giga Drain, holding either Choice Specs or a Life Orb; a specially defensive mixed attacker with a Brave, Quiet or Sassy nature, holding an Assault Vest (raises Tangrowth's special defense by 50%, which it may need), so it focuses on both defense and offense; and a physically defensive physical or mixed attacker with Leftovers and either a Bold or Relaxed nature, respectively. It is so versatile, but because its physical movepool is better and more useful than its special movepool, I lean more towards a physical Tangrowth. At all times, its ability should be Regenerator, just like Tangela's. The other two, Leaf Guard and Chlorophyll, only work well on a sun team.

While these two Pokémon definitely have their uses, I am not too fond of them. Tangela is alright, but Tangrowth is yet another of these weird Gen. IV evolutions, although I have to say that I don't hate it and that it's not near as bad as Magnezone and definitely not as bad as Lickilicky and Probopass.

Rating: 3/5