#455: Carnivine

Carnivine in Little Shop of Horrors style. 

We've already had a carnivorous plant to review on this blog, but Victreebel and its pre-evos are based on pitcher plants rather than the more well-known Venus flytrap. Unfortunately, Carnivine is as useful and interesting as Victreebel, which means it won't be getting a 5-star rating anytime soon. Like Victreebel, Carnivine has good attack and special attack (the former is its best stat, period), mediocre defenses and terrible speed, which is unnecessary and makes you wish for a Victreebel instead. It does have a slightly better level-up moveset than Victreebel, with Crunch and Power Whip being its main offensive moves, but that's only because stone evolutions aren't allowed to have good level-up movesets in the first place; theirs are usually a little shallow. However, Carnivine also somewhat suffers from a shallow-moveset syndrome, as it doesn't learn anything worthwhile other than the moves I just mentioned; it learns Sludge Bomb, but so does Victreebel, who even gets STAB from it due to being a poison type and has a higher base special attack stat to boot. Carnivine even has a worse ability than Victreebel, as Levitate only gives it a ground-type immunity. Don't get me wrong: Levitate is a great ability, especially on Pokémon such as Eelektross, Weezing, Rotom and Bronzong, but not on a Pokémon that resists ground in the first place. It's like giving an electric-type Pokémon the ability Limber - and yes, Stunfisk, I am looking at you.

Carnivine showing James some affection.

Not that it makes any sense that Carnivine is levitating, anyway: its Pokédex entries don't mention its ability to hover in the air, let alone how or why it's doing that to begin with. They do tell us it hangs from tree branches with its tentacles until it can ambush its prey after attracting it with its sweet-smelling saliva, awaiting it with its mouth about 180 degrees wide open. And, um... well, that's it. And there's really nothing special about that, because we all know that this is how actual Venus flytraps catch their prey as well. Of course, it wasn't catchable in Sun and Moon or Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and so it doesn't have Pokédex entries for them (which is new in Gen. VII), plus it hasn't been around as long as Victreebel and didn't really have the chance to develop a distinctive personality. The funny thing is that Team Rocket's James had a Carnivine in the anime, who had exactly the same disruptive trait of trying to devour James as a way of outing its affection as his Victreebel did, which makes me think Carnivine was just meant to be a copy of the OG carnivorous plant Pokémon. Really, the only differences between Carnivine and Victreebel are their names and designs; otherwise, the two share a whole lot of similarities and personality traits, even in the goddamn anime series. Sure, Carnivine is a bit goofier, but I guess that doesn't really matter here.

Still of James's Carnivine in the anime.

I do not hate Carnivine, however. I actually like its design, and I feel that it's one of these Pokémon that most people skip over without batting an eye. I'm no different, if I have to be honest, but now that I've reviewed Carnivine, I've come to realize this Pokémon ain't that bad. Well, it is competitively (seriously, just use something else; if you have to resort to using a Carnivine with Natural Gift holding a Watmel Berry, you know you should just give up on it), but I guess it would be a decent Pokémon to use in-game. I'm not terribly interested in looking back at it again, but I'll give it the same rating as Victreebel just for the reason I don't feel like it deserves to get a bad rating from me.

P.S.: I had to laugh at Carnivine's Japanese name Muskippa (マスキッパ), which is phonetically similar to 'must skip' (ha!) or 'mudskipper'. It doesn't have to do anything with either of these, of course; this name is derived from the scientific name of the Venus flytrap, dionaea muscipula, as well as the Japanese words sukippara ('hunger') and/or kippan ('eating').

Rating: 3.5/5

#420 - #421: Cherubi & Cherrim

I feel like Gen. IV definitely introduced the largest batch of forgettable Pokémon. I keep failing to remember Finneon and Lumineon are a thing, while I am indifferent towards Buizel and Floatzel; Pokémon like Kricketune, Mothim and Skuntank are easily overlooked, even though I personally really like them; this generation's legendary trio are by far the least used in the competitive metagame; and I feel like stand-alone Pokémon like Carnivine and Chatot don't bring much to the table other than a couple of gimmicky features.

Three basic-stage grass-type Pokémon with the same fucking
face. My GOD, maybe Game Freak and Nintendo are running out
of ideas after all! ;)

But taking home the gold for being the most forgettable Gen. IV Pokémon are Cherubi and Cherrim. Cherubi is just a pre-evolution and so it's not the little guy's fault, but let's be honest: it's literally just a cherry with a second head hanging from its stem. The head isn't sentient and is vestigial in terms of function, but it contains nutrients that contribute to Cherubi's growth as its initial source of food and is apparently very tasty, as several other Pokémon have been observed trying to pluck it off. When the second head begins to bloom, Cherubi is close to evolving into Cherrim... who is nothing but a bud with a pair of feet. This is Cherrim's Overcast Forme, which is its standard form under normal weather conditions and looks like it should be a middle-stage evolution. It only transforms into its Sunshine Forme in harsh sunlight, which doesn't make sense aesthetically: all of a sudden its feet are yellow instead of a deep pink, its eyes are on its head - where they belong - rather than near its feet, and the large purple petals it has as a bud are now small, light pink ones. And then it changes back into its standard Overcast Forme when the sunlight subsides...? I don't get this Pokémon at all. Yes, I know that cherry blossom trees are a staple of the Japanese landscape, and a Pokémon based on these was long overdue, but that doesn't justify creating a Pokémon that doesn't make a lick of sense, at least in my own humble and insignificant opinion. Photonastic traits are not uncommon in plants, but I don't think they change appearance the way Cherrim does.

Huh? Why are those cherry blossoms moving? 

Cherrim, I'm directly talking to you right now: I don't understand you. Why don't you stay in your Sunshine Forme (obviously call it something else, then) and be happy forever instead of being a docile, miserable bud for the majority of your life? You're a Pokémon, a magical being; you're not going to turn deciduous. Not as far as I know, at least.

Nice fan art of Cherrim's Sunshine Forme.

To the reader: don't even think about using this thing in competitive play, because it is absolutely terrible. Should you decide to use it for some unspecified reason, you're in for a bumpy ride: its base stat total of 450, of which its best stats are its base 87 special attack and base 85 speed, renders it pretty much useless. With mediocre offense and speed as well as very mediocre bulk, Cherrim should be avoided at all costs. It's a decent in-game Pokémon, though, with access to hard-hitting STAB moves like Petal Dance and Energy Ball, as well as type coverage in Dazzling Gleam. It gets Weather Ball through breeding, so maybe a sun strategy might work should you decide to use a bred Cherubi/Cherrim in a new playthrough: Sunny Day to set up harsh sunlight, Solar Beam for instant STAB damage (charges up a turn first when the weather conditions are normal), Weather Ball for 100-power fire-type damage (it's a 50-power normal-type move in normal weather conditions), and Dazzling Gleam for fairy-type coverage. This strategy does make Cherrim extra vulnerable to fire types, so it might not be the smartest idea, but at least it's an in-game option for you to consider. I guess it's something, although there are much better grass-type Pokémon to choose from.

3D art of Cherrim's Overcast and Sunshine Formes. 

I don't like how Cherrim's two forms are nothing alike. The incredible thing is that I don't hate the design of its Sunshine Forme at all, as I think it's actually pretty cute. It's just... what purpose does this Pokémon serve? You'll almost always see it in its Overcast Forme, as extraordinary weather conditions in-game are pretty rare, and even then you'll rarely encounter Cherrim. It was also a hassle to get, as the only way to obtain Cherubi in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum was to slather Honey on trees and wait six hours for a Pokémon to appear. Not Cherubi specifically; no, a randomly generated Pokémon. That's just not worth it.

Overall, I'm giving Cherrim 3 stars, only because its ridiculous Overcast Forme exists. 

P.S.: Don't get me started about that so-called marijuana reference in Cherubi's National Pokédex number, just because this Pokémon is a grass type. I am aware of it and I think it's stupid. Cherubi makes you high as much as Vivillion is the spawn of Satan or Bellsprout an actual reference to a blowjob. So, in other words: not at all.

Rating: 3/5

#412 - #414: Burmy, Wormadam & Mothim

Burmy feeling uncomfortable losing its cloak.

As if the Gen. II Pokémon Pineco and Forretress weren't enough already, Diamond and Pearl gave us more bagworm Pokémon in the form of Burmy and Wormadam. Unlike Pineco, however, Burmy doesn't blow up in your face as early as level 6, nor does it have any useful moves in its level-up moveset. In fact, Burmy just uses Protect to avoid any damage on its persona, annoying players all around the world. This Pokémon learns a grand total of six moves, two of which can only be learned through a Move Tutor in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, so basically the only thing it can do is stall the player out and do nothing in particular. That sounds contradictory, but it's not. As Burmy is vulnerable in its bare form, it composes a cloak made of twigs and leaves that is thinner in hot weather and thicker in the winter in order to shelter itself from cold and wintry winds. It doesn't always stay in the same form, however: if its cloak gets broken, Burmy quickly remakes it with materials nearby. This manifests itself in the games quite well, as Burmy takes on a specific kind of cloak based on the location where it last 'battled' - Plant Cloak (green) in grassy areas, Sandy Cloak (beige) in caves or on beaches, or Trash Cloak (pink) in buildings.

Female Burmy evolve into Wormadam (bottom left), while male
Burmy evolve into Mothim (bottom right). 

Changing its cloak doesn't change the fact that it is a bug type, nor does it gain him an additional type on top of its bug typing. However, its cloak does have an effect on wich typing its evolution Wormadam ends up with when it evolves at level 20: Plant Cloak Wormadam is bug/grass, Sandy Cloak Wormadam is bug/ground, and Trash Cloak Wormadam is bug/steel. The cloak is now part of Wormadam's body and is never shed, and therefore this Pokémon cannot change its typing at will; it will always stay in the same form. Apart from their distinctive typings, the different forms of Wormadam also have their own unique base stat distributions: Plant Cloak is more specially oriented, Sandy Cloak is more physically oriented, and Trash Cloak takes a more defensive approach. Not that it matters much, because in this case, physically or specially oriented means a mediocre attack or special attack stat as well as a good defense or special defense stat backed up by a mediocre HP stat. A physically oriented Wormadam is terrible anyway, so Sandy Cloak is out. Trash Cloak is moderately defensive with its base 95 defense and special defense, but its HP is still lackluster and it can't attack for shit with those bad offensive stats, so that one is also out of the running. That means Plant Cloak is the only remaining Wormadam form, and with base 79 special attack and 105 special defense - along with access to Quiver Dance and a decent special movepool - it is the only one who is somewhat viable for an in-game team.

Yo, these moth Pokémon are drawn so well. Great style!
Clockwise starting from the top left: Dustox, Mothim,
Venomoth and Volcarona, with Masquerain in the middle. 

But as Burmy is based on a bagworm pupa that will metamorphose into a moth if male or remain a pupa-like creature if female, it also has another evolution. Only female Burmy evolve into Wormadam; male Burmy evolve into Mothim, who is - indeed - a moth Pokémon. It is one of the better ones in my opinion, especially compared to Venomoth and Dustox, but I guess I'm a little biased because I used one in a Pokémon X playthrough and I enjoyed it tremendously. Not only do I like its design and color scheme better than any one of the Wormadam, its stat distribution is far more workable, too: it has base 94 attack and special attack as well as slightly more HP and a significantly higher speed stat than Wormadam. Its base 66 speed stat still isn't anything to write home about, mind you, but it's pretty decent after a Quiver Dance boost and allows it to actually outspeed some things. And shit, does this thing have an awesome moveset for a goddamn moth; Bug Buzz, Air Slash and Psychic are level-up moves and will suffice to complete its moveset, although it also learns Energy Ball and Shadow Ball by means of TMs and Electroweb and Giga Drain when you take it to the Move Tutor in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Too bad Mothim is so frail, but I guess it's a far more efficient Quiver Dance user than Wormadam. I wouldn't recommend using it competitively, but it makes for a more-than-decent addition to any in-game team.

Mothim in the anime series.

The only thing that really bugs me about Wormadam is that it learns Confusion, Psybeam and Psychic by level-up as well as Dream Eater by TM, which applies to all Wormadam forms and implies they all should have been part psychic, but absolutely nothing in their designs and/or flavor implicates that they have any psychic abilities. Mothim learns them also, but it's not uncommon for Game Freak to give moth and butterfly Pokémon psyhic-type moves like Confusion and Psybeam, to name a few. Wormadam, on the other hand, has no business knowing those moves and cannot make use of them effectively. It's fucking dumb, really.

A more realistic interpretation of Mothim. Although its body is now reduced to a
fluffy ball, I still think it's cute.

I don't hate Wormadam. If anything, I'm impartial towards it - I can't say that I'm the biggest fan of this Pokémon, but it's here now and I'm bothered by neither its design nor its flavor. Burmy and Wormadam are a sensible take on the traditional bagworm, only with a twist; even the pink Trash Cloak Wormadam with its bug/steel typing makes a certain amount of sense, as its cloak is based on the pink-colored building insulation material made of fiberglass. Mothim makes the exact same amount of sense as Wormadam, and even though it's nothing else but the zillionth bug/flying type, there are so many more things that I love about it, including its shiny coloration.

Oh man, can I just say that its shiny is downright gorgeous? It's definitely one of my favorites so far.

Rating Wormadam: 3/5

Rating Mothim: 5/5

#387 - #389: Turtwig, Grotle & Torterra

Turtwig in a flowerpot. Isn't it adorable?

It's about time I started off with the Sinnoh starters, and Turtwig is the first one. While its name suggests it resembles a turtle - most likely the snapping turtle in appearance - it is probably based off of a tortoise more than anything, as will become evident by the type combination of its final evolution Torterra. You see, turtles spend most of their lives in the sea and tortoises tend to dwell on land, which is - just as a side note - why Blastoise's name isn't technically correct. Despite Turtwig's animal appearance it's actually some kind of vegetative Pokémon, carrying a shell on its back that hardens when it drinks water and a twig on its head that wilts if it becomes thirsty. It undertakes photosynthesis with its body, absorbing sunlight and making oxygen. In short, Turtwig's flavor text couldn't have been more generic, and it hardly becomes any better when it evolves into Grotle. Like most middle stages of starter Pokémon, Grotle looks a little awkward; with its hardened soil shell running over the entire length of its body, extending from its forehead to the tip of its short tail, it looks like it's majorly uncomfortable. It has two bushes growing on its shell, which are occasionally seen producing acorn-like nuts or berries that are greedily devoured by other Pokémon, and it has the ability to sense where pure water wells up and willingly carries other Pokémon on its back to these sources. Aside from the fact that it may be based on the minogame, a turtle in Japanese mythology that is said to live up to 10,000 years and is therefore seen as a symbol of longevity and felicity, I have to be honest and say that its origins aren't very inspiring. Sure, the minogame is often depicted with a train of seaweed/algae growing on its back and as a tail, but the reference is vague at best.

Great Torterra fan art that fully utilizes its shell's
ecosystem aspect.

Luckily, everything becomes a whole lot better when the grass-typed Grotle evolves into the grass/ground type Torterra. This Pokémon is a perfect example of commensalism, a class of relationship between two organisms where one organism benefits from the other without affecting it: Torterra's shell supports the lives of many small Pokémon that build their nests upon it and some are born and spend their entire life there. Aesthetically, Torterra seems to carry a giant tree and three triangular, stony protrusions resembling mountain peaks on top of its shell. Being known and classified as the 'Continent Pokémon', it really does look like it's carrying an entire continent on its back - or at least an entire ecosystem - and that is why it is probably based on the concept of the World Turtles in various mythologies carrying worlds upon their backs. The most prominent one is a popular rendition of a Hindu myth, in which the tortoise Akūpāra (Sanskrit: अकूपार) - or sometimes called Chukwa - supports the elephant Maha-pudma, which in turn supports the world. The first thing that came to mind when I was reading that was the humorous Discworld series by British author Terry Pratchett, in which a giant turtle called Great A'Tuin travels through the Discworld universe's space carrying four giant elephants on its back. The elephants in turn carry the flat, disc-like world of roughly 10,000 miles wide that earned the entire fantasy book series its name, which I'm sure was just an attempt to ridicule all those flat-earthers. In fact, a lot of myths, jokes and hoaxes such as drop bears, treacle mines, tooth fairies and suicidal lemmings seem to be the focus of the majority of the 41 (!) existing Discworld novels.

It doesn't work in Grotle's favor that the best image I could find from it is a still
from the anime series. I couldn't find any interesting or appropriate fan art at all. 

But while this whole World Turtle myth is a cool concept to base a Pokémon on and Terry Pratchett's Discworld series is fun to talk about, there are aspects of other things to be found in Torterra's design. Its stance is reminiscent of a certain armored dinosaur called the ankylosaur, just without the hammer-like tail tip; and while we're talking extinct animals anyway, it'd probably be safe to say Torterra may be inspired by the spiky-looking proganochelys quenstedti and meiolania turtles due to its large features and... well, spikes. Lastly, Torterra's name is most likely a combination of tortoise and terra (Latin for 'ground'), although it may also be a corruption of tōtara, a kind of tree endemic to New Zealand that bears a lot of similarities with the tree on Torterra's back.

Yo, this Torterra fan art is SO COOL!

Stat-wise, I can't say Torterra is the greatest fully evolved starter in the competitive scene. Sitting in one of the lowest Smogon tiers, its low speed and quadruple weakness to ice-type attacks makes it susceptible to being OHKOed quickly, but it gets a wonderful STAB Earthquake for that in return. Its solid all-around bulk and more-than-decent attack stat allow it to take a couple of hits and then strike back with powerful physical moves such as Earthquake, Wood Hammer, Seed Bomb, Crunch, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Superpower, Iron Head, Iron Tail and Outrage. And although you need to find the right time to set it up, it learns Stealth Rock for a bit of chip damage every time your opponents switches one Pokémon out for another. If you go the tank route, Stealth Rock and Synthesis are basically unmissable, as are the Leftovers; an offensive route mostly requires setting up with Curse, Swords Dance or Rock Polish, mostly in conjunction with a stat- or move-boosting held item such as a Life Orb or the Soft Sand. Or you could just slap a Choice Band and four offensive moves on Torterra and go all out, which works just as well. Make sure Torterra has an Adamant nature at all times to maximize the damage output, although a Careful or an Impish nature works just fine on a tanky Torterra.

Holy fucking cow, this is awesome!

Look at this!

And this!

While many depictions of Torterra somehow look savage or otherworldly, this
image is so... serene.

Torterra honestly has one of the most creative designs I have ever seen in Pokémon, and I am tempted to love it only because of that. But - and I have to say that it's a bit unfair towards the other Pokémon in the franchise - fan art plays a big part in my love for Torterra now. I never knew there were so many talented artists throwing their work on the Internet, but I'm glad they did. Torterra fan art is some of the best I've seen so far, and for the first time since Mew, I'm putting a couple of drawings directly underneath each other.

Well, it was GIFs in Mew's case, but y'know... details.

Not unimportantly, Torterra is the first and only grass/ground dual-type Pokémon, making it the only starter with STAB Earthquake aside from Swampert. And with Earthquake being one of the most popular moves in the entire game - not just in the competitive metagame, mind you - you shouldn't be surprised that I feel Turtwig has become the most popular Sinnoh starter. Grass may be kind of weak, both defensively and offensively, but Torterra's ground typing more than makes up for that in the end.

Gen. IV is a short generation, but we're starting off with a bang!

Rating: 5/5

#357: Tropius

Tropius in company of Brendan and May. 

For a region that's considered tropical, Hoenn introduced suprisingly few tropical Pokémon. Tropius is basically the only one, and it's... why, what is it? It's obviously based on a sauropod, which were big-ass herbivorous dinosaurs with long necks and thick, pillar-like legs. But Tropius has big leafy wings growing on its back, as well as banana-like fruits beneath its chin. Apparently, Tropius continuously eats only its favorite fruit; it loves it so much, in fact, that it resulted in its own outgrowth of fruit, which is considered a deliciously sweet tropical snack that is especially popular with children. The large wings are used for flight - despite its bulky appearance, it is suprisingly maneuverable in the air - and for sugar production via photosynthesis. Whether the latter is to be 'blamed' for the sweet flavor of its own fruits is unclear and debatable, but I can't think of any other reason why its fruits are so incredibly sweet.

Pansage (on top of Tropius's head), Panpour (left) and Pansear
(right) enjoying Tropius's delicious fruits.

In short, Tropius's banana tree design is hilarious, although most people tend to forget it's there in the first place. At any rate, I haven't seen anyone using this Pokémon in a playthrough. That's not surprising, as its stats aren't anything to write home about. It has some very good HP and defenses, making it pretty bulky, but its attacking stats are lacking and its speed is just downright terrible. Even Dragon Dance, which is an egg move, won't give it a sufficiently significant speed boost - or attack boost, for that matter, as its base 68 attack is really mediocre. That doesn't make it a reliable counter to all these bulky water and rock types out there. The fact that it has weaknesses to rock and ice - the latter is even a quadruple weakness - doesn't help either, as rock types counter it right back and almost all water types can learn Ice Beam and Blizzard. It's a shame, really, because Tropius's physical movepool allows you to create a pretty neat moveset consisting of Dragon Dance, Leaf Blade, Earthquake and Aerial Ace. It also has Steel Wing, Outrage and Body Slam for type coverage (well, coverage... Body Slam isn't super effective on anything, but it's a moderately strong normal-type move that has a higher chance to paralyze the foe) and a decent ability in Chlorophyll, provided you set up the sunlight first. Thing is, it makes it even more vulnarable to fire-type moves, which it already has a weakness to, and its speed and mediocre attacking stats won't allow it to take a hit first very often or hit very hard in the first place. A Life Orb set with the ability Solar Power - which increases its special attack by 50% in harsh sunlight but makes Tropius lose ⅛ of its maximum HP at the end of each turn - will only wear it down, which only takes away from its moderate bulk.

A more realistic approach of Tropius.

As far as grass-type sauropods go, Meganium beats Tropius by a very large margin. Tropius is more versatile offensively, though only slightly, and competitively and design-wise Meganium kicks Tropius right outta the sky. It sucks Tropius doesn't have a better support movepool, because the only good combo I can find right now is Substitute/Leech Seed - Roost and Air Slash nicely rounding out its moveset - with the Harvest ability and a Sitrus Berry to hold. Neither is Tropius a good Pokémon to use for in-game purposes, for that matter, because its moveset is pretty lacking: Air Slash is amazing to have, but the best grass-type moves it gets are Solar Beam and Leaf Storm. The former requires a turn to charge up and the latter harshly lowers its special attack, which at a base 72 is already less than average. As the Energy Ball TM is only available late- or post-game and Leaf Blade is an egg move, it'll have to make do with the 65-power Leaf Tornado, which is... bad for a relatively weak Pokémon like Tropius. Rather, Tropius is one of the few Pokémon that is terrible to use in any context but should be appreciated for its uniqueness: it's an interesting and pleasantly designed Pokémon and just a nice addition to any collection. Moreover, it's the only Pokémon that really fits Hoenn's tropical theme, so I'll let this one slide.

Rating: 4/5

#345 - #346: Lileep & Cradily

Even fan art depicts Lileep (bottom left, the purple vase-like
Pokémon with the tentacles around its eyes) being underwater.

Lileep and Cradily are the first fossil Pokémon since Aerodactyl near the end of the Kanto Pokédex. Johto didn't have a pair of fossils to choose from and it wouldn't be until Ruby and Sapphire that fossils made a comeback. Instead of mollusks and arthropods, however, we have a Pokémon that seems to be based on some kind of plant from prehistoric times. Nothing could be further from the truth, because it's actually based on an existing marine animal called the crinoid, which are often called sea lilies and were once thought to have gone extinct. These creatures are characterized by a mouth on the top surface that is surrounded by feeding arms, and they usually possess a stem they use to affix themselves to a substrate (a material that rests at the bottom of a stream; something like mud, sand, pebbles or boulders, for example). Lileep meets all of the criteria mentioned above, yet it is still a rock/grass type rather than a rock/water type, which leads us to believe it is based on some kind of extinct plant after all. It defies all logic, I'm telling you. There is absolutely nothing in Lileep's Pokédex entries that indicates it's a plant: it only disguises itself as seaweed, so that it can catch prey with its tentacles and swallow it whole. Said entries even state repeatedly that it lived on the seafloor 100 million years ago. Can it get any more obvious? Ugh, Game Freak... you have absolutely no idea what the hell you're doing.

More fan art of Lileep (left) and Cradily (right) dwelling on the seafloor. Obvious
reference is obvious.

Cradily suffers the same 'fate' as Lileep: the fact that the tentacles around Cradily's neck secrete a strong digestive fluid that melts its prey even suggests that it could have been the very first rock/poison type combo. It sure learns quite a decent amount of poison-type moves, too, so I wouldn't have been surprised if that had indeed been the case. It isn't, though, and Cradily's Pokédex entries even elaborate on the whole marine animal kind of thing, as it seemingly roams around the ocean floor of warm seas in search of food. Its body is apparently very heavy, because it serves as an anchor to prevent Cradily from being washed away when the weather is rough. This Pokémon may have been based on sea anemones, predatory marine animals with tentacles rather than the flowers they are named after, or even the predatory tunicate or ghostfish. This is a species of tunicate (marine invertebrate animals) resembling a cross between a jellyfish and a Venus flytrap, and lives anchored along the deep sea canyon walls and seafloor, waiting for tiny animals to drift or swim into its hood-shaped mouth. Both creatures obviously belong to the animal kingdom and are hardly an explanation for Lileep and Cradily's grass typing, but I guess it's no use to keep dwelling about this matter.

Also, why is Cradily classified as the 'Barnacle' Pokémon? It's not a barnacle. Bizarre.

Well, its utility in the competitive metagame is what matters, anyway. Despite having a type combo consisting of the two types with the most weaknesses - rock is weak to steel, fighting, ground, water and grass, while grass is weak to fire, bug, ice, poison and flying - it only has four weaknesses, two of which are uncommon offensively (steel and bug; fighting and ice are still fairly common). This, along with excellent defensive stats and its immunity to water due to its hidden ability Storm Drain, makes Cradily a great specially bulky pivot - especially when having a Sassy or Calm nature. It can set up Stealth Rock, keep its HP bar in the green with Recover and Giga Drain (the latter also serves as a reliable STAB grass-type move, fortunately), and poison opponents with Toxic. However, Cradily's offensive qualities are hardly anything to write home about - base 81 attack and special attack are pretty mediocre - and that results in it being unable to hit very hard, even with Giga Drain. Not that it matters. Much. Y'know, because even less offensive, bulky walls need something to attack with in addition to their support movesets. Cradily is good in what it does and it's best to use this Pokémon for these exact purposes rather than offensively, although switching into a water-type attack raises its special attack by one stage due to Storm Drain, allowing it to hit a bit harder with moves like Giga Drain and Ancient Power, if you must.

A little GIF of Lileep and Cradily going about their business in prehistoric paradise
(or something). Gotta love the Aerodactyl flying by in the background.

I may be complaining about Game Freak's inconsistency, but that doesn't mean I hate Cradily. On the contrary, even; I actually quite like its design, and I think both it and its pre-evolution Lileep radiate a certain kind of cuteness. Even competitively, Cradily's base stat total of almost 500 isn't bad at all, provided you use it for the correct purposes. Even though the Cradily I used in an Omega Ruby playthrough I did was quite underwhelming offensively, it didn't overly disappoint me because of its bulk. It's not the best fossil Pokémon by any means - even Armaldo, whom I'll be reviewing next, is better than Cradily - but at least it dodges a bad rating by quite a large margin.

Rating: 4/5

#331 - #332: Cacnea & Cacturne

Bijschrift toevoegen

Shit, I don't know how to start this entry. Cacnea is such a forgettable Pokémon that I was almost surprised this Pokémon was next on my list. Obviously, Cacnea is based on a cactus - or, more specifically, the perfectly spherical barrel cactus - with some traits of a jack-o'-lantern, although it would be a whopping three generations later until we got actual jack-o'-lantern Pokémon called Pumpkaboo and Gourgeist. The problem is that Cacnea's flavor is a little bland, and I'm not referring to the fact that you can actually drink cactus juice to make yourself healthier. Or something. No, it's just that Cacnea can survive without any water for a period of 30 consecutive days, including in desert areas, which is... Why, I'm like, "WELL, DUH!!!" Most cacti live in arid areas anyway, and they never need much water in the first place. Moving on, Cacnea uses its thorny arms as hammers to attack its opponents. Great, so do other Pokémon; ask the ones who have access to Hammer Arm one way or another (fun fact: despite its habit of hammering opponents with its arms, Cacnea does not get Hammer Arm one way or another). The only somewhat interesting thing about its flavor is the yellow 'flower' on its head, which releases a strong aroma to attract prey; and the beauty and fragrance of this flower depend on the harshness of Cacnea's environment. It's not that interesting, though, and I think we'd better proceed with Cacnea's evolution Cacturne.

This is the Cacturne of a character named Harley. As you can
see, it is totally infatuated by... Team Rocket's Jessie! 

Cacturne trades Cacnea's yellow flower for a sun hat, its shape of a barrel cactus slash jack-o'-lantern for the shape of a seguaro slash scarecrow, and its pure grass typing for the grass/dark dual typing. There are actually a couple of explanations for the latter. The first one is that cacti are known as night plants because of this thing called crassulacean acid metabolism, or CAM photosynthesis for short, which is a carbon fixation pathway that evolved in some plants as an adaptation to arid conditions: the stomata (plant pores) remain closed during the day to prevent evapotranspiration and open at night to collect carbon dioxide. The second explanation is that Cacturne remains unmoving during the day - to prevent losing moisture to the harsh desert sun - and becomes active at night when the temperature drops, which may be a reference to the scarecrows in horror movies. It's a cliché, but all scary entities in horror movies come alive at night to take advantage of our limited visual perception when it's dark. It becomes even more unsettling when you realize Cacturne's Sapphire entry states that a ragtag group of this Pokémon will follow a traveler going through the desert in the thick of night and wait for the him (or her) to become exhausted and incapable of moving. Can we just acknowledge that Cacturne is a cold-blooded murderer? Yeah? Great, thanks. Kindly remind me that I won't be entering any desert for the entirety of my life.

Scary Cacturne.

But, ehm... such a malicious creature should be a beast in competitive play, right? Well, not precisely. Granted, Cacturne has base 115 attack and special attack, which is nothing to sneeze at, but its HP and defenses are terrible together and its speed isn't good enough for you to run a Choice Scarf set or something. Therefore, Cacturne is heavily reliant on a move Sucker Punch, which is a dark-type attack (STAB!) that moves first when the opposing Pokémon is using a damaging move. The problem is that Sucker Punch was nerfed in Sun and Moon and its base power is now 70 rather than 80. That is not terribly bad, but the nerf kind of... sucks, if you'll excuse the pun. Cacturne can be used as a wallbreaker or late-game sweeper, rocking Sucker Punch and several other attacking moves such as Dark Pulse, Energy Ball, Seed Bomb, Focus Blast, Brick Break, Poison Jab, Superpower, Fell Stinger, Drain Punch, Giga Drain and Thunder Punch. All of these moves are really good on Cacturne, to be honest, so you'd need a Rash, Mild, Lonely or Naughty nature to make it serve as a mixed attacker, although it could totally rock out with a physical Swords Dance set (with an Adamant nature) or a special Nasty Plot set (with a Modest nature). Depends on what you want or need. Just make sure to give it a Life Orb, which exchanges a little health for a bit more power each turn; it'll wear Cacturne down, but it won't be able to take many hits anyway. And if you think about teaching it moves like Synthesis or Destiny Bond: don't. Cacturne isn't fast enough to pull them off in the first place, and so you'd only waste your valuable turn. Make sure it has its hidden ability Water Absorb at all times, because Sand Veil only boosts its evasion in a sandstorm and isn't all that useful. Might as well give it an extra immunity to water on top of its psychic-type immunity and get some recovery off of incoming water-type moves.

Left: Cacturne waiting for heedless travelers going through the desert in the thick
of night. Right: a happy Cacturne mama with her baby Cacnea. 

It's a shame Cacturne seems to be one of those Pokémon in the 'forgettable' department. It's a scary and morbid Pokémon - which is why I'm surprised it wasn't featured in the Alola Pokédex, by the way - and it has a very pleasing design. Bogleech here opines that Cacturne is one of those Pokémon that is actually underdesigned for a change, and I am inclined to agree with him. A cactus is supposed to have 'seams' running its length, like Cacnea to some extent, and the spikes found all over its body don't look all that sharp - and trust me, I know from experience that a cactus stings when you touch it carelessly. Despite that, I actually really like Cacturne.

So... how about a rating of 4.5 stars? Yeah, that'll do. We don't want to make Cacturne all stingy, now do we?

Rating: 4.5/5

#406, #315, #407: Budew, Roselia & Roserade

Budew in a meadow among the flowers, where it probably feels
perfectly at home.

Readers who have been around for a while probably already know that I'm not that big on baby Pokémon, as I think they are useless and redundant. Pichu was pretty much the only useful one, basically because you could breed Volt Tackle onto it, but even that method can be dumped into the darkest abyss now: there is an NPC in Pokémon Sun and Moon that teaches Volt Tackle to any Pikachu when you show her one. That way, you can breed a Pichu without worrying about attaching a Light Ball to one of the parents and just teach Pikachu Volt Tackle by meeting up with this NPC afterwards. It's a way to make baby Pokémon more redundant, that's for sure. On that note, Budew is probably one of the most insignificant baby Pokémon to have ever been introduced, along with Wynaut. It's a Pokémon based on a rose bud, keeping its buds closed during winter while it endures the cold and opening them during spring to scatter toxic pollen that induces harsh sneezing and runny noses. Thanks, buddy, so you're the one contributing to my mild case of hay fever and actually making it worse to some extent. That's great. It's literally all I can say about Budew, because there's not an interesting thing that can redeem the blandness of its design and flavor.

Roselia.

One generation earlier, though, we had plenty of time to make ourselves familiar with Roselia, Budew's evolution as of Gen. IV and formerly a stand-alone Pokémon. It has the generic grass/poison typing, which seems like a leftover from Game Freak tendency to slap the poison type onto any grass-type Pokémon that looked even remotely venomous. To this day, Bulbasaur remains the only unevolved starter Pokémon being a dual type - other than Rowlet, that is - but it's a mystery to me why it is part poison, because nothing in its and its evolutions' Pokédex entries indicates that they are poisonous; and Oddish is just a clump of weeds that has no business being a poison type in the first place. All these Pokémon do is plant seeds and give off sweet fragrances, just like Roselia does when it's at its healthiest: the healthier it is, the more pleasant its flowers' aromas are. Roselia, however, is most certainly poisonous, as it uses different poisons emitted from the thorns between the flowers on each arm when it attacks and even the thorns on its head contain a vicious toxin. People often try to pick the flowers on its arms, but Roselia makes short shrift of them by shooting sharp and toxic thorns as projectiles. Not that its movepool shows any evidence that Roselia can actually do that, as it doesn't learn anything like Spike Cannon or Pin Missile.

Shiny Roselia is one of my favorite shinies. 

And while it is said that Roselia that drink nutritionally rich springwater may have unusually colored flowers when they bloom, this is not exactly seen in the game mechanics, because all Roselia have a red rose on their right arms and a blue rose on their left arms, all in the same shade. And if the Dex is talking about shiny Roselia: that is not a trait exclusive to this Pokémon, as other Pokémon can be shiny as well without having to drink nutritious mineral water. However, it has to be said that Roselia has a very pretty shiny. The purple and black roses get me every time; the purple one because purple is my favorite color and the black one because it looks so ominous, almost dead, while both colors emphasize Roselia's venomous features very well in my opinion.

As Roserade is a poison type, it should be more
than capable to stand in sludge unharmed.

Roselia wasn't - and still isn't - any good in battles though, except in a regular playthrough. Its base 100 special attack could knock out Pokémon just fine, but its base 65 speed renders it quite slow and its defenses aren't all that, either, especially when you consider that its HP is quite terrible. Fortunately, Roselia hasn't only gotten a pre-evolution in Gen. IV, but also a full-fledged evolution called Roserade. While the evolution method to change Budew into Roselia is needlessly complicated - you have to evolve it in bright daylight at max happiness - exposure to a Shiny Stone is enough to let Roselia evolve into Roserade. While the roses on its arms look a bit strange now, I like its appearance as a whole better than Roselia's: the masquerade attire - mask, cape and bangle - and interesting hairdo give it an elegant look. But don't be deceived, because this Pokémon is actually more dangerous than Roselia. You remember that Roselia's aromas are sweeter the healthier it is? Well, Roserade's fragrances are sweeter the more toxic its poison is, which means that the before-mentioned fragrances will probably not be very healthy for you. Also, Roserade pretty much likes to be a cheater, as it uses hidden whips lined with poisonous thorns to attack with. Each of Roserade's hands contains different toxins, but both hands can jab with near-fatal power - due to said toxins, obviously, not because it has so much physical force.

Roserade as seen in the anime.

On the contrary, its base 125 special attack is where it's at, and at a solid 105 its special defense ain't bad, either. Specially defensive Roserade with a Calm nature and support moves aren't uncommon, and most of the time they're sporting support moves like Synthesis and Toxic Spikes and two attacking moves - usually Giga Drain and Sludge Bomb. Roserade can be an all-out attacker holding the Choice Specs or a Life Orb (with a Timid or Modest nature) and sporting moves like Energy Ball (alternatives are Giga Drain, Leaf Storm and Petal Dance), Dazzling Gleam, Sludge Bomb, Extrasensory and Shadow Ball, but it can also be a bulky attacker. How? Well, let it hold an Assault Vest, which won't enable Roserade to use support/status moves but does increase its special defense by 50% instantly. And when it comes to abilities, Roserade has access to an amazing ability called Technician, which increases the power of moves with a base power of 60 or less by 50%. Unfortunately, Roserade doesn't learn any moves that comply with the description above and thus Technician is pretty much unusable on it, unless you happen to want to use some type of Hidden Power or the other. No, you should go with Natural Cure instead, which heals any status conditions Roserade might have caught during the battle upon switching out. Poison Point has a 20% chance to poison the foe when it makes contact with Roserade - usually this happens with physical moves - but it's situational and doesn't go well with Toxic Spikes or Toxic, to name a few moves.

Another anime still of Roserade.

There are a couple of ways to make Roserade work in the competitive metagame, and unless you go physical with it, you can't go wrong. It is strong and not overly slow, can take a few hits and has an interesting design and flavor to boot. I mean, you can't say its concept is bland. I don't love it, but I like it to such an extent that I'm rewarding it with no less (and no more) than 4 stars.

Rating: 4/5

#285 - #286: Shroomish & Breloom

Damn. It's so weird going back to Gen. III when you've spent so much time hanging out with all kinds of brand new Pokémon...

Official art of Shroomish.

Anyway, today's Pokémon are Shroomish and Breloom, who are obviously mushroom Pokémon. Shroomish seems to be a very basic Pokémon at that, being only a mushroom with a face and little feet. That's pretty much all there is to this thing, aside from the fact that it has a very toxic defense mechanism: when it senses danger, it shakes its body to scatter toxic spores from the top of its head, and these spores can make trees and weeds wilt and cause whole body pain in humans if inhaled. The fact that it likes to live in and feed on compost made of rotten leaves doesn't help its cause, either. Fortunately, this disgusting little thing evolves fairly early on in Breloom, a hybrid of a mushroom and a kangaroo, although the shape of its head and tail resemble the body structures of certain armored dinosaurs, specifically ankylosaurs and pachycephalosaurs. Yeah, Breloom is as weird as it sounds. However, we all know that fighting is common in almost all species of kangaroos and that these excellent brawlers wield a fighting style reminiscent to boxing. While Breloom may have short arms and awkward feet, its fighting technique is equal to that of professional boxers (Ruby's Pokédex entry even states this technique puts pro boxers to shame). Its short arms can be stretched by Breloom in order to deliver fast punches, and its light and springy footwork allows it to get close to opponents. Breloom doesn't shy away from a little cheating, however, as it uses the holes in its cap to release spores that can incapitate opponents, allowing it to close in on them.

Breloom taking a stance reminiscent to dinosaurs. I think it's a
pretty cool piece of fan art! 

Which, by the way, is exactly the technique it uses in competitive play: residing in OU, the Smogon tier with Pokémon that are used the most, Breloom has access to a combination of moves and abilities that make it a force to be reckoned with. Shroomish learns Spore by level-up, which is a perfectly accurate move (not counting evasion boosts on the opponent or accuracy drops on Breloom) that puts the opponent to sleep and is exclusive to only mushroom Pokémon, meaning Parasect, Breloom, Amoonguss, Shiinotic and their pre-evolutions. Of course, Smeargle can learn it through Sketch, but let's not go there right now. Because Breloom has access to Bullet Seed, which deals 25 damage a pop for a minimum of two times and a maximum of five times, and the 40-power priority fighting-type move Mach Punch, it should have the Technician ability. This ability boosts moves of 60 base power or less by 50% and is great in combination with the moves I just mentioned. Grass/fighting is an awesome combination only resisted by uncommon types like poison and bug, and with a Swords Dance up Breloom hits like a fucking truck. Technician is better than Effect Spore, which has a 30% chance of paralyzing or poisoning the opponent or putting them to sleep when they make direct contact with Breloom, or even Poison Heal, which heals Breloom a little each turn rather than damaging it when it's poisoned. If you want power over priority, you can use Force Palm over Mach Punch instead (no one does that, though), whereas Swords Dance isn't all that necessary and can be replaced by a coverage move like Rock Tomb, especially when Breloom is holding a Life Orb and has an Adamant nature. This nature is often run over a Jolly one due to Breloom's mediocre base speed of 70, putting emphasis on Breloom's power (base 130 attack!) instead.

"Are you okay, sweetie? You look so angry."

Breloom is an interesting Pokémon, but I feel like it wants to be a zillion different things at the same time, even though it doesn't particularly have a busy design going on. Hybrids are not uncommon in the Pokémon franchise, but when you're trying to stuff at least three things that normally have nothing to do with each other in one design, you gotta watch out a little. Breloom is a solid Pokémon with a solid typing and a solid position in Smogon's competitive scene, but it's not one of my favorites.

Whew! I sure missed 'criticizing' Pokémon like that, goddamn!

Rating: 4.5/5