#483: Dialga

It's another steel type! Y'all know what rating I'm gonna give this thing, right?

Dialga as a trophy in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

In all seriousness, though, Dialga may just be one of my favorite legendary Pokémon ever. It just looks incredibly cool, is amazingly powerful, has a fantastic type combination that only makes it weak to ground and fighting, and plays a big part in several games and movies. Being the box legendary of Pokémon Diamond, Dialga is the reason for Team Galactic's boss Cyrus's criminal operations, getting captured and being contained by him by use of the Red Chain he made from the crystals found on the Lake Guardians. Cyrus is a nutcase anyway, because he wants to use the power of Dialga (Palkia in Pokémon Pearl) to destroy the world and create a new one without 'illogical and irrational' emotions, one without spirit. Of course, as is the case with every game's storyline, absolute annihilation never actually occurs because the player character saves the day and even catches or defeats the big bad legendary. But why does Cyrus believe that Dialga can be used to destroy the entire fucking world in the first place? Well, according to Sinnoh myths, Dialga, Palkia and Giratina were simultaneously created by Arceus when the universe began, which is why they are often called the Creation Trio. While Palkia represents and controls space and dimensions and Giratina represents antimatter, Dialga is the representation of time and is said to have the power to control it, using the wing-like structure on its back to focus the flow of time by speeding it up, slowing it down or stopping it altogether.

The player character and their partner facing Primal Dialga as the Temporal Tower
is collapsing. Dialga can only be seen in this form in the Gen. IV Mystery Dungeon
games, as Primal Dialga is not present in the main series games. This piece of fan
art is fantastic, by the way.

In other words, Dialga may just be a more powerful creature than many other legendary Pokémon when it comes to lore, which is once more demonstrated in the Mystery Dungeon games Explorers of Time, Explorers of Darkness and Explorers of Sky, appearing mostly as a fearful creature called Primal Dialga, having lost control of itself and having entered a state of self-preservation due to the Temporal Tower having collapsed. It's keeping time frozen and refuses to let it flow properly, so the player caracter and its partner must return to the present from the future and take on an almost-Primal Dialga upon arriving at the collapsing tower. After beating some sense into it, Dialga is so thankful that it revives the player, who had previously been erased from existence altogether. You can be sure Dialga plays a very big part in all of the Gen. IV Mystery Dungeon games, as the storyline of Explorers of Sky barely changes compared to its two predecessors; if Platinum is an enhanced version of Diamond and Pearl, with mostly the same storyline, Explorers of Sky is an enhanced version of Explorers of Time and Explorers of Darkness. Aside from being the main 'antagonist' and biggest boss battle in the Mystery Dungeon games - as well as being integral to Pokémon Diamond and Platinum - it also appears in no fewer than four different movies, the most prominent of which are The Rise of Darkrai, Giratina and the Sky Warrior and Arceus and the Jewel of Life. Go figure.

Holy shit, this fan art of Dialga is amazing!

In short, Dialga seems to be a highly favorable Pokémon to be utilized by Game Freak due to it being the most popular of the Creation Trio aesthetically, but what is this thing actually based on? Let's get the crazy fan theory out of the way first: the Pokémon fandom believes that Dialga, Palkia and Giratina are based on the states of matter - the trifecta of solids, liquids and gases - hence Dialga's steel type, Palkia's water type and Giratina's ghost type, while all have the secondary dragon type tacked onto them. While I think it's a solid theory that sounds far more plausible than time being rigid and space being fluid or some shit like that, there are a couple of problems I have with it. First off, this theory is nowhere to be found on Bulbapedia and I don't think it's officially considered to be the inspiration for the Creation Trio's origins, much less confirmed to be true; and second, gases are still considered matter - no matter how unstable they may be - while Giratina and the Distortion World were created to be the personifications of antimatter, as confirmed by Junichi Masuda and Takeshi Kawachimaru in interviews they did with G4. There's a little inconsistency there, but this matter theory is not a bad theory at all and I am definitely not inclined to dismiss it as bullshit.

But enough about this theory; I've spent an entire paragraph on it, goddammit!

Little Riolu (probably representing the player character in
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky) facing a badass
Primal Dialga.

I'm not done yet, however, as there's more to Dialga, including plenty more reasons to why it's a steel type. The hardness of diamonds (or the fact that diamonds are compressed carbon and steel is an alloy from iron and carbon) may be a possibility, as is the fact that most part of a clock are made of metal. Additionally, the turquoise lines on its body are vaguely reminiscent to the diamond-shaped ends of clock hands you see all the time, while the spikes in its neck look similar to Time Gears, artifacts of great importance in the Mystery Dungeon games. As they help keep control of the flow of time in the Pokémon world, it is hardly a surprise that the Time Gears were designed to look specifically like parts of Dialga. The 'dia' part in its name may even derive from dia (Spanish for 'day', a unit of time) or 'sundial', the latter of which is an instrument used to tell time using shadows on a clock face. Faunatically, Dialga bears resemblances to certain genera of short-necked sauropod dinosaurs called camarasaurus supremus and brachytrachelopan mesai. Folklorically, its origins lay in the Shintō myth of Izanami and Izanagi - the respective goddess and god of both creation and death - who are said to have created one island with a spear, erected a pillar on it in order to mate and from there created the islands of Japan. Not unintentionally, you face Cyrus and the box legendary on top of Mt. Coronet, on an ancient site called Spear Pillar.

Game Freak, don't make me think you are secretly geniuses.

Dialga using its signature move Roar of Time, which is basically just a dragon-type
Hyper Beam. 

Finally, do I have to talk about Dialga's competitive utility? This beast has a base stat total of a whopping 680, making it too strong for Smogon's regular tiers. Just make sure you max out its excellent special attack and choose from its wide arrange of special moves (seriously, it learns amazing coverage moves like Power Gem, Earth Power, Aura Sphere, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Fire Blast and Flamethrower alongside STAB moves like Dragon Pulse and Flash Cannon), and you'll annihilate at least half of your opponent's team.

Honestly, Dialga has become one of my favorite legendary Pokémon by now. It certainly helps that it's a steel type, but how cool is it that you can catch an awesome-looking god-like dinosaur creature that can manipulate time at will? Think about that.

Rating: 5/5

#482: Azelf

I don't know about you, but I think Azelf is pretty cute.

Azelf looks like the default design the other Lake Guardians were drawn from, but at the same time its cyan face and its minimalistic design - along with its cuteness and competitive prowess - make it the most memorable of the three. It was also the first and only Lake Guardian I captured and used on my team along with Dialga (yeah, I have no problem with using legendaries on my in-game teams), and I was honestly impressed by its strength. This is no surprise, as this azure elf is actually known as 'the Being of Willpower' and is said to have given humans the determination to do things, keeping the world in balance from the bottom of Lake Valor. Some say that whoever harms or injures it will become unable to perform any kind of action after seven days, losing all will inside of them and staying completely immobile for all eternity. Unsurprisingly, Azelf is based on the last of the Imperial Regalia of Japan, the Kusanagi no Tsurugi, which is a sword that represents the primary virtue of valor. Its Japanese name Agnome (アグノム) seems to contradict that, as it is probably derived from 'agnosticism', which is from the Greek word for 'knowledge', gnôsis (γνῶσις); and as we've all found out, that is Uxie's thing. Azelf's Japanese name also suggests it's a gnome, but that isn't surprising in the least, as Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf's English names are plays on 'pixie', 'sprite' and 'elf', respectively. There are a lot of tiny folkloric creatures to base a Pokémon on, such as fairies, gnomes and leprechauns and the like, so at least Game Freak wouldn't have run out of ideas in that regard.

Look at Azelf adorably holding onto its Life Orb!

As I mentioned before, Azelf is best known for its glass-cannon function in competitive play. It boasts some amazing base 125 attack and special attack as well as an excellent base 115 speed stat, making it faster and stronger than both Uxie and Mesprit by a significant margin. It is quite frail, though, and as a result it is barely able to take a hit. Fortunately, you can turn Azelf's speed and power to your advantage by giving it a Choice Scarf, so that it gets an immediate speed boost once it's switched in. Give it a Modest nature (rather than a Timid one, mind you), which allows you to max out its special attack and teach it a full moveset of crazy powerful special moves. With moves like Psychic, Psyshock, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Energy Ball and Signal Beam you are spoiled for choice. Alternatively, a moveset accompanied by a Timid nature and the Choice Specs isn't a terrible option, either. One move Azelf has access to and the other Lake Guardians don't learn - at least not to my knowledge - is Nasty Plot, a move that raises Azelf's special attack by a whopping two stages every time it's used. Teach it this move and you can run a Timid nature and a Life Orb. Azelf's speed even makes it a decent suicide lead, which mostly means it's running a support moveset consisting of Stealth Rock, Taunt, Knock Off and Explosion - the last of which is mainly used when you don't need Azelf anymore and sacrifice it by letting it blow up in your opponent's face. When using a support set on Azelf like that, people run a Jolly nature on it most of the time so that its attack stat isn't hindered, while a Focus Sash prevents Azelf from getting OHKOed by a strong offensive move - if Azelf is still at full HP, that is.

3D art of Azelf.

Even though letting Azelf serve as a suicide lead is a waste of its potential in my opinion, it does show how versatile this adorable little shit can be. It is by far my favorite of the Lake Guardians, that's for sure, only because the simplicity of its design makes it the cutest and most aesthetically pleasing of the three. To me, it is the most memorable and the most competitively viable, which is why I am giving it a near-perfect rating of 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#481: Mesprit

Mesprit making a big splash.

Mesprit may be the second Lake Guardian in the National Pokédex, but it is the most unique in that it doesn't just stay in place when you interact with it in order to catch it; it leaves its cavern in Lake Verity and becomes a roaming legendary, much like Raikou, Entei and Suicune in Gold, Silver and Crystal and Latias/Latios in Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. It's quite fitting for a legendary Pokémon that is called 'the Being of Emotion', said to have endowed the human heart with sorrow, pain, joy and all kinds of other emotions. It is no surprise, then, that Mesprit seems to be based on one of the Imperial Regalia of Japan (also known as the Three Sacred Treasures) called the Yasakani no Magatama, a jewel that represents the primary virtue of benevolence. I would think such an emotional being like Mesprit is restive; and true enough, its spirit is said to leave its body and flitter on the water surface of Lake Verity, while rumor has it that a person who touches it will have their emotions completely drained away after three days, much like Uxie will wipe out the memory of whoever sees its eyes. Mesprit's name makes sense as well, being derived from the French esprit ('spirit'), although it could have an ambiguous meaning: 'sprite' is derived from the Latin spiritus via the French esprit, but it is generally a term used to describe a fairy- or elf-like entity, exactly like Uxie's name is derived from 'pixie' and Azelf's from 'elf'.

This looks like TCG box art, but I could be wrong on that matter.

Competitively, Mesprit is kind of an oddball. It has very good base 105 attack, defense, special attack and special defense stats and a more-than-decent base 80 HP stat to back up those excellent defenses. Here's the catch, though: it is by far not as bulky as Uxie, it is nowhere near as strong as Azelf and it is honestly the slowest of the bunch, which means it isn't as fast as you'd like it to be. An offensive Calm Mind set is one of the better sets Mesprit can run, as it buffs up its special attack and special defense by one stage each, making it more specially oriented. It's a versatile Pokémon move-wise, as it has access to a strong STAB Psychic as well as some nifty coverage moves like Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and Energy Ball, all special moves that become much stronger after a Calm Mind or two. A Timid or Modest nature and a Colbur Berry, a Life Orb or some kind of Z-Crystal work best on such a set, although the Leftovers work well in combination with both Substitute and Calm Mind. Mesprit could even run four offensive moves and a Choice item. I would pass on a defensive set, as Mesprit isn't overly bulky in the first place and you can just use Uxie to set up Stealth Rock, Sunny Day or Rain Dance or what have you. Mesprit can take some hits for sure, and it'll have some longevity on the field due to Leftovers, but Uxie is just much better-suited for the role of bulky support Pokémon. However, Mesprit has one trick up its sleeve that Uxie doesn't have as far as I'm concerned: Healing Wish. This move makes Mesprit faint, but it can be used when it's worn out in order to completely heal up another Pokémon on your team.

3D art of Mesprit.

I have to say that Mesprit is my least favorite of the Lake Guardians. Aesthetically it looks the goofiest, with the weird dreads hanging from its head, and competitively it is outclassed defensively by Uxie and offensively by Azelf. Also, Mesprit is a roaming legendary and is therefore much harder to find than its fellow Lake Guardians - and to make matters worse, it has a tendency to run away almost immediately should you so happen to run into this thing, which means you'll have to immobilize it by putting it to sleep or paralyze it in order for you to catch it. Unless you're actually actively hunting this thing, you'll never be entirely prepared for that shit. Also, I'm not the biggest fan of pink Pokémon; the only ones that got 5 stars from me so far are Mew and Granbull, while Pokémon like Ditto, Gorebyss, Lickilicky, Luvdisc and Mr. Mime are among the 20 lowest ratings on this blog. The rest are just okay, and Mesprit is no different.

Rating: 3.5/5

#480: Uxie

So now we've come to the first legendary Pokémon in the Sinnoh Pokédex, being Uxie, one of the Lake Guardians. Mesprit and Azelf are aesthetically similar to Uxie, but these three Pokémon are not as similar as, say, Latios and Latias are and they each boast different Pokédex entries as well as competitive strategies.

3D art of Uxie.

To start off, Uxie and its fellow Lake Guardians are the first legendary trio to play a significant part in the storyline of Pokémon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, as Team Galactic's boss Cyrus uses the crystals extracted from their tails and heads to create the Red Chain and contain either Dialga or Palkia - or both, as seen in Platinum, only for his plans to be thwarted by Giratina - so as not to reduce their power by capturing them in a Poké Ball. Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf even guide you through the Strength puzzle in the Distortion World in Platinum, and along with them being the source of the Red Chain this makes them probably the most important legendary trio in any storyline in the Pokémon franchise so far - and that's excluding the individual escapades of Suicune in Crystal and (to a lesser extent) Tapu Koko in Sun and Moon.

This artist has certainly made the Lake Guardians more kawaii.

Uxie looks to be the most serene one of the Sinnoh legendary trio. Known as 'the Being of Knowledge' and the guardian of Lake Acuity, it is said that its emergence gave humans the intelligence necessary to solve various problems and the wisdom to improve the quality of their lives, while those who see Uxie's eyes will have their memory wiped out by it. These characteristics, as well as its name, imply that it has the power to foresee the future: Uxie and Yuxie (ユクシー) both derive from yukusaki ('future'), chishiki ('knowledge') and 'pixie', indicating that it has the knowledge to see the future... or something like that. At least Uxie is a psychic-type Pokémon, so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that was actually true. The most interesting part about this Pokémon, however, is that it and the rest of the trio seem to have originated from another Japanese legend called the Imperial Regalia of Japan. Also called the Three Sacred Treasures, these regalia represent the three primary virtues of valor, wisdom and benevolence. I'll talk about the other two in Mesprit and Azelf's entries, but the artifact that Uxie seems to be based on is a mirror called the Yata no Kagami, representing wisdom and honesty. It seems to blend in perfectly with Uxie's design and Pokédex entries, and even its competitive utility to some degree.

This dreamy piece of Uxie fan art looks amazing!

Uxie is a serene and patient creature that likes to depend on its knowledge and wisdom, and I imagine it being some kind of pacifist. Therefore, this Pokémon seems to focus more on defense rather than offense, as is reflected by its base stats: its defense and special defense are both 130, backed up by a decent 75 HP stat, while its attack and special attack are both a mediocre 75 (yes, there's a difference between the base HP stat and the other base stats, but I don't know how this is calculated). With base 95 speed, Uxie is even quite fast, which is a rarity among tanky support Pokémon. It's incredibly passive, though, and it's really only viable when sporting Trick Room (reverses priority brackets, which means slower Pokémon move first unless a priority move is used on them) or a move that can set up sunny or rainy weather. Before doing that, however, you have the option to let Uxie set up Stealth Rock and/or kill itself with Memento, lowering the opposing Pokémon's attack and special attack by two stages while it's at it. Suspect a Stealth Rock coming your way? Uxie can learn Magic Coat, which bounces certain status moves back to the user. Yawn and Thunder Wave are options in order to inflict a status condition on the foe, while Skill Swap is a gimmicky and risky option that lets Uxie swap its ability Levitate with the target's ability. Unnecessary and unpredictable, if you ask me. You should at least teach Uxie one offensive move of its own type, preferably Psychic or Psyshock, so that it's not completely passive - and to prevent it from being Taunt bait, you could give it the Mental Herb, even though the Leftovers are generally better for longevity on the field alongside its defensive nature (Bold and Calm are the best ones, although Relaxed and Sassy work best when it's running Trick Room). U-Turn is an option, but it's quite weak on Uxie and perhaps you're just better off hard-switching out into another Pokémon.

I like this sassy fan art of Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf. 

It stands to reason that Uxie is not an easy Pokémon to use on a competitive team - and also not the most obvious tank - so maybe beginners should stay away from it until they have some experience in competitive battling. The fact that it is in one of the lower Smogon tiers doesn't help either, because that pretty much means that there are far better bulky support Pokémon than Uxie out there. Fortunately, it's still there forming an interesting trio with Mesprit and Azelf, who will have their turn being reviewed by me in the coming week. I love Japanese myths and stories, and these three being based on the Three Sacred Treasures really helps amp up their ratings, as they're honestly a little bland design-wise. Objectively seen, Uxie is the most interesting one aesthetically and flavor-wise, with its eyes that are constantly closed, but for other reasons Azelf is my favorite. That is exactly why I can't give Uxie a rating higher than 4 stars, although that isn't bad by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#386: Deoxys

All Deoxys forms. Clockwise from bottom left to bottom right:
Defense Forme, Normal Forme, Attack Forme and Speed
Forme. Official artwork by - who else? - Ken Sugimori.

The last Pokémon in the Hoenn Pokédex is an odd one. While we humans are still speculating about whether there's life beyond Earth, the Pokémon world already got an extraterrestrial being in the form of Deoxys. This Pokémon comes in four different forms (Normal Forme, Attack Forme, Defense Forme and Speed Forme), and the main components that are constant for all of them are a dominant orange color, a bluish-green face, three bluish-green dots on their backs arranged in a triangle, a purple stripe running down the center of their faces and a purple crystalline organ in their chests that appears to be the brain. I am not going into detail about the differences between all forms, but just know that the first letters of Deoxys's form names spell out 'DNAs' in order from the most bulky-looking form to the most bare-looking one, showing less of its orange-colored plates and revealing more of its sleek and striated black body as it changes from Defense to Speed Forme. Then again, Deoxys was formed when the DNA of a space virus underwent a sudden mutation upon exposure to a laserbeam (hence its classification as the 'DNA Pokémon'), and it came to Earth on a fucking meteorite. Therefore, it's not surprising that this Pokémon can adjust its form to its own will - not in the games, unfortunately, in which you're required to take it to a meteorite in the overworld - and is able to regenerate any part of its body it may have lost in battle, as demonstrated in the seventh movie Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys. Also demonstrated is its ability to create an aurora without changing the form it's in. These auroras can have different electromagnetic wavelengths and are used to communicate with other Deoxys, and the various electromagnetic waves given off by people, Pokémon and all electronics can obscure its vision if there is enough interference with its communication. Such a movie, right?

In fact, that movie is kind of important when talking about the lore of this Pokémon, so get ready.

The official film poster for Pokémon: Destiny
Deoxys.

You see, you'd think that Rayquaza has more of a connection with Groudon and Kyogre, but this dragon Pokémon has comparatively little to do with these weather titans and almost has no interaction with the pair of them. It shows up in Emerald to break up the fight between Groudon and Kyogre, but only for a sequence of a couple of seconds long, after which it returns to the Sky Pillar only for the player character to catch it in a goddamn Master Ball. It also shows up in the Delta Episode of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, but only after the disaster with Primal Groudon/Primal Kyogre is averted and a new threat turns up: a meteorite that is about to collide with Earth threatens the human race and your objective is to hop on the back of Mega Rayquaza, travel to space and destroy the meteorite... only for you to battle and catch the Deoxys hidden inside it - which, by the way, makes me think that Deoxys has lost its status as a mythical Pokémon, because these are usually event-only. In any case, the movie follows a similar pattern in that a meteorite containing Deoxys manages to crash down on Earth in the polar regions and Rayquaza, whom you can call any variation of 'the Guardian of the Ozone Layer', perceives this as an invasion of its territory and attacks, ending up destroying the camp of a group of researchers and blasting Deoxys to the bottom of the ocean. A green crystalline orb is taken back on a chopper with the researchers, and four years later the orb is subject to laser experiments. Meanwhile, Deoxys has regenerated and bursts through the ice, heading for a technologically advanged city called LaRousse City to find its friend. Of course, Rayquaza frantically starts searching for the threat to prevent any catastrophes from happening, but the question remains whether it actually succeeds in that, as an all-out fight between Rayquaza and Deoxys ensues. In the meantime, Ash's Pikachu shocks the laser machine to give it more power, resulting in the green orb transforming into a second Deoxys who even saves Rayquaza from the first Deoxys's attacks. However, when the block security robots protecting the city power up and go into overdrive due to Pikachu's electrical boost, Rayquaza gets buried under them, and when the Deoxys try to help it the exact same thing happens to them in the process. Needless to say it's up to Ash to save the day.

Unintentional rhymes for the win.

This is some awesome eerie fan art of all different forms of Deoxys.

Oh, what happens with the Deoxys, you ask? Well, they befriend Rayquaza and go home after an unnecessarily extended stay on Earth. Yeah, it's a bit of an anticlimax now, but back then this movie was my third favorite just after The Power of One and Spell of the Unown, just because I thought it was more action-packed than the previous movies. Nowadays it would be nowhere near as close to my top 3. It probably falls a little short compared to later movies (I've seen every movie up until the one with Victini and Rashiram/Zekrom, so I've got some catching up to do), but it's still a decent movie that is far more exciting and action-packed than the regular anime, although that shouldn't be too hard.

Nothing can beat a movie or a three-episode anime arc with Lugia, though.

Mega Rayquaza vs. Normal Forme Deoxys. This form also has
the ability to transform its tentacles - coiled in a double helix, like
a DNA strand - into a full-fledged hand, apparently. Huh, I had
never even noticed that, to be honest. 

In the competitive scene, Deoxys is kind of a weird Pokémon to use. It's too strong for the OU, UU, RU and NU tiers, but it is too feeble to use in the Uber tier. Let's start with Normal Forme Deoxys, who has base 150 offensive stats and base 150 speed, which is nothing to sneeze at. Though its base 50 defenses are complete and utter shit and it will hardly be able to take a hit, unless you invest some EVs in HP and either defense or special defense, which is hardly worth the hassle. You'll be better off with Attack Forme Deoxys, then, who's sporting off-the-chart base 180 offensive stats and base 150 speed, but with even more abysmal defenses than Normal Forme. Attack Forme can dish out heavy damage really fast (and its diverse movepool sure helps with that), but it's a certainty it gets knocked out at the first opportunity your opponent gets, so you might want to give it a Focus Sash to ensure it can live at least one hit at full HP. Or just give it a Life Orb to enhance its damage output as much as possible, I really couldn't care less. Speed Forme Deoxys looks like it's the most frail one, but it actually has very well-rounded offensive and defensive stats as well as excellent base 180 speed. However, its less-than-stellar base 50 HP stat - which every Deoxys form has, by the way - doesn't back up its decent defenses and its offensive stats are a little bit too mediocre to do much with them. Speed Forme is mainly there as a Stealth Rock and Spikes setter and be gone from the battlefield as soon as possible, and even though Smogon's recommended moveset also contains Taunt and either Magic Coat or Skill Swap, I'd really swap one out - preferably Taunt, because there are plenty of other Pokémon who can learn that move - for a strong offensive move like Psycho Boost. Lastly, we have Defense Forme Deoxys, who is really made to act as a supportive wall; just give it Stealth Rock or Spikes to set up some kind of entry hazard, teach it Toxic and Recover so that it can wear down opposing Pokémon while healing itself up, and slap Knock Off on it to annoy opponents that use Pokémon that rely on their held items. Although its HP is still horrible, its base 160 defenses ensure that it can survive at least a couple of hits, especially when it's holding the Leftovers to heal a little of its HP every turn.

This portrayal of Deoxys in a more realistic style is actually totally creepy.

Deoxys in general has a wide offensive and support movepool, with even set-up moves as event-only moves available to it. Even the different forms have slightly different level-up movepools. With the right moves and EV investment on the right form, it can be a force to be reckoned with or a tough cookie to take down. Design-, flavor- and battle-wise, Deoxys is a weird Pokémon, but nevertheless it has never appealed to me as much as it probably should have. It's a nice and clever Pokémon, with its name also being an abbreviation of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and all, but not awesome enough for me to actually care about it; it definitely doesn't have the cuteness of Pokémon like Mew and Jirachi either, and, above all, I never really had the chance to obtain one in the first place. The first Deoxys in my possession was the one I caught on my Alpha Sapphire cartridge. Go figure.

And that's it, then. We're done with Hoenn now, and I'll be talking about the Sinnoh starters before you know it. Also, you'd better brace yourselves, because I'm gonna be talking about my all-time favorite Pokémon very soon!

Rating: 4/5

#385: Jirachi

I don't know what the background is supposed to be exactly, but
Jirachi sure seems happy about it. 

With all the violence coming from Kyogre, Groudon and Rayquaza, it's a relief to be reviewing something that's supposed to be so soothing, so serene. Jirachi doesn't have an ounce of evil in its entire body, and it is even said to grant three wishes to one single person if they write them on the notes attached to its head. That is to say, it does so after it awakens after a long period of hibernation. You see, this Pokémon hibernates enveloped in a tough crystalline shell for extensive periods of time and awakens only seven days every thousand years or if it's sung to by a voice of purity, absorbing the energy it needs to hibernate through the third eye on its chest during the short period it is awake. It can't materialize an object that is desired from a wish out of nowhere, though; rather, it teleports the desired object to the person who made the wish. Quite obviously, Jirachi is based on the concept of "wishing upon a star" - though these so-called stars that are being wished upon are usually not actual stars but a phenomenon called shooting stars, the visible path of meteoroids as they enters Earth's atmosphere, becoming meteors - which is why its body is star-shaped and why its name can basically be translated to 'wish wish', coming from the Russian zhelat' (желать) and the Japanese sachi. In addition to that, the tags on Jirachi's head are a reference to the paper strips called tanzaku that are written on the festival of Tanabata, also known as the Star Festival. It is derived from the Chinese Qixi Festival and celebrates the meeting of the deities and lovers Orihime and Hikoboshi - represented by the stars Altair and Vega - who are separated by the Milky Way and are allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar.

I have to say this is an interesting rendition of Van Gogh's De sterrennacht.

In fact, Jirachi is often distributed in Japan in celebration of Tanabata, being given away every year from 2004 to 2009 and again from 2013 to 2016. From 2013 on, Tanabata Jirachi have even been known to know moves that Jirachi could normally not learn: the 2013 one has Draco Meteor - a Tutor move exclusive to dragon-type Pokémon - and Meteor Mash, the 2014 one is shiny and knows Moonblast, the 2015 one knows Heart Stamp and Play Rough, and the 2016 one has Meteor Mash in addition to the moves it can already learn.

Sweet little cutie is sleepy. 

And those moves are honestly being used, too. Being a so-called 'pixie' Pokémon, Jirachi has base stats of 100 across the board, making it suitable for nearly everything, including an offensive approach on both sides of the spectrum. On top of that, Serene Grace is an ability that will double the chance of a move having an additional effect, which means a move like Heart Stamp will now have a 60% flinch rate instead of 30%, and so forth. That also means people abuse the hell out of certain moves, including Iron Head and the before-mentioned Heart Stamp, just because there's a high chance the opponent won't be able to move that turn. Easy knock-outs for the win. It's not hard to fill up the other two spots of a physical moveset, either: Jirachi has access to Play Rough, Zen Headbutt, U-Turn, Drain Punch and the elemental punches. Meteor Mash is an option, but only if you are willing to let go of Heart Stamp and Play Rough and go with Zen Headbutt and no fairy-type move at all. Alternatively, a specially offensive moveset isn't unthinkable. Charge Beam will now always cause Jirachi's special attack to go up by one stage due to Serene Grace, which makes it a dangerous potential sweeper. Its special movepool is wider and more diverse than its physical movepool as well, having access to nifty moves like Moonblast, Psychic, Flash Cannon, Psyshock, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Icy Wind, Hidden Power, Signal Beam and Dazzling Gleam. Obviously, the required nature for physical Jirachi is a Jolly or an Adamant nature, while special Jirachi prefer Timid or Modest; and on that note, physical Jirachi prefer a Choice Band and special Jirachi the Choice Specs, while both kinds could hold a Life Orb, a Choice Scarf, an Air Balloon, an Expert Belt or even something else.

Jirachi levitating under a starry sky, witnessing a meteor shower. 

Of course, an offensive approach is not the only option to go for: lots of people actually also use Jirachi defensively, with support move combos such as Substitute/Toxic, Toxic/Protect, Rest/Sleep Talk and Wish/Protect as well as other miscellaneous moves like Thunder Wave, Magic Coat, Stealth Rock and Healing Wish. Jirachi is just so fucking diverse. Physical attacker, special attacker, mixed attacker, defensive pivot, support Pokémon, offensive tank... you name it, and Jirachi can pull it off. Its steel/psychic typing definitely helps a bunch, as steel is one of the most defensive types out there, with resistances to 10 different types and even an immunity to poison. This is what makes Jirachi a better tank than, say, Mew or Celebi, because the latter gets bodied by bug-type moves and the former doesn't resist as much as Jirachi does. It goes without saying that it is far from clever to use an offensive nature on a defensive Jirachi, but I do recommend letting it hold the Leftovers to extend its time on the battlefield.

Jirachi even got its own movie with Pokémon - Jirachi: Wish Maker.

Jirachi is certainly an interesting Pokémon, and I don't think we had anything like it before design- and flavor-wise. It's strong, defensive, diverse and very cute and I honestly think this Pokémon appeals to a broad audience. It's not quite one of my favorite Pokémon yet (although it's a close call), but it is definitely one of the better Hoenn legendaries - I'm not going to call the other legendaries 'mythical', even though that would be the correct term to use in Jirachi's case - and biased me is just giving this thing half a star extra because of its steel typing.

Rating a Pokémon by using stars has never been so appropriate as now.

Rating: 4.5/5

#384: Rayquaza

I have no idea whether this piece of art is actually official, but
Rayquaza sure as hell looks savage here.

Oh man, I don't even know where to start with this one. There is a whole lot to be said about Rayquaza and the majority of that is dedicated to how fucking awesome this goddamn thing actually is. I mean, if you manage to break up Groudon and Kyogre's apocalyptic confrontation just by showing up and roar a little, as was demonstrated in Pokémon Emerald, you deserve respect. It was literally all Rayquaza had to do, meaning Groudon and Kyogre are probably scared shitless of this guy. And let's be honest here: Rayquaza looks like a wise old dragon with a certain degree of authority over its minions, while managing to maintain a look that says it will show you no mercy. Its Mega is even worse, mind you - or better, in this case, as all of the additional horns, orbs and glowing tendrils actually give it more grace, beauty and an air of importance, power and might. That's a difficult feat to pull off when too many additional doodads on stronger forms of certain Pokémon such as fusions and Mega evolutions are sometimes regarded as redundant or occasionally make them look overdesigned. White and Black Kyurem are good examples of that, but Zoptimus Prygarde probably takes the cake. I love the Transformers movies, and I have fond memories of the times when I still enjoyed Power Rangers, but creating a Pokémon that looks like an Autobot or a Megazord is really pushing it a bit, Game Freak. And remember when I talked about Mega Venusaur's butt flower way back when? Yeah, I already regret bringing that up again...

Fortunately, no such fate has befallen Rayquaza, and it so happens this thing is the one I'm actually talking about, so it's no use to keep lingering in such negativity.

I used a GIF of Kyogre from the same artist over a week ago, just because I think
this guy's style is just so freaking awesome! 

Rayquaza's origins lie in the Hebrew legend of Ziz, the unconquerable primal master of the sky, as opposed to Leviathan being the primal master of the sea and Behemoth being the primal master of the land. While Rayquaza has significant dominance over Kyogre and Groudon and is able to break them up when they're fighting, Ziz seems to be an equal of Leviathan and Behemoth rather than their 'master', meaning Game Freak and Nintendo have shown some imagination in favor of Emerald's storyline. In fact, Rayquaza's signature ability Air Lock eliminates the effect of weather conditions, and back in the day that rendered Kyogre's ability Drizzle and Groudon's ability Drought completely useless. But Ziz is also often depicted as a giant griffin-like bird, which Rayquaza definitely has nothing to do with, and this means it is most probably inspired by other mythical creatures aside from just Ziz. Looking at its dragon typing, it may well be based on the lindwyrm, in British heraldry a two-limbed and wingless dragon with a serpentine body. The word is actually a cognate, deriving from the Norwegian linnorm, the German Lindwurm and the Swedish lindorm (all meaning 'dragon'), as well as the Danish lindorm ('serpent'). It's a little confusing, because in Norwegian heraldry the lindorm also exist, but rather than a serpent or a dragon in general it's actually the same as a wyvern is in British heraldry.

Mega Rayquaza hanging around in what is apparently the
stratosphere.

Not that any of this can be found in Rayquaza's name. It is probably a reference to raqiya, the Hebrew word for 'firmament', which in biblical cosmology is the structure above the atmosphere, conceived as a vast solid dome. Speaking of which, Rayquaza's Japanese name is the same as in most other languages and the word combination of retsu ('violent' or 'furious'), kū ('sky') and za ('seat' or 'location') can be taken to mean "one that sits in the ferocious heavens". Being a dragon/flying type, it makes sense; however, it's most likely a reference to Rayquaza being able to live in the ozone layer for hundreds of millions of years, where it feeds on water and meteoroids. This is actively demonstrated in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire's Delta Episode, a post-game episode in which it's your objective to prevent a meteorite from colliding with Earth. In order to do so, a character called Zinnia (who's a bitch, by the way) summons Rayquaza and tries to pursuade it to Mega-evolve using an organ inside its body filled with energy from the meteoroids it eats as it flies through the stratosphere. Hence why Zinnia stole all of the Key Stones she could find. The energy stored within this organ is practically nonexistent at that point, however, which is why it devours the Meteorite the player character had obtained and safely stored in its bag after their encounter with Team Magma/Team Aqua at Mt. Chimney earlier in the game. A battle with Rayquaza ensues, and you have to catch it in order to make a trip to space on Mega Rayquaza's back and destroy the meteorite threatening Earth.

And hidden within that meteorite is... well, I'll talk about that when I get to the last Pokémon in the Hoenn Pokédex.

Don't fuck with Mega Rayquaza, because it'll screw you over big time.

Alternatively, Rayquaza's name could be a combination of 'ray' (a term in geometry of which I don't understand the definition at all) and 'quasar'. The latter is an abbreviation of 'quasi-stellar object', an active galactic nucleus - called that way because it occurs in the center of a galaxy - consisting of a supermassive black hole surrounded by an orbiting disk of gas. Quasars have a very high luminosity - the total amount of energy emitted by stars, galaxies or other astronomical objects per unit time - and because they were first identified as sources of radio-wave emission and resembled point-like stars in photographic images at visible wavelengths, the term 'quasar' originated as a contraction of 'quasi-stellar radio source'. It's not as if any of this doesn't make a lick of sense, and Rayquaza is very powerful in its own merits, but I doubt it can be considered the center of a galaxy or something like that. Space always kind of intrigued me as a child, so it's still cool to learn about all this stuff.

A shiny Rayquaza in Pokémon the Movie: Hoopa and the Clash of Ages.

Again, like I did with Kyogre and Groudon, I will omit Rayquaza's competitive capabilities from this article - that is to say, you won't see any suggestions for possible movesets here. I mean, you can just slap any move on it and wreak havoc, especially in Mega Rayquaza's case: because it doesn't require a Mega Stone for you to Mega-evolve Rayquaza, Mega Rayquaza can hold something else, like a Choice Band or a Life Orb or any other item that either increases its attacking stats or strengthens its moves. Therefore, it was even banned from Smogon's Uber tier, being the only Pokémon to date to have been banned from being used in a competitive setting within Smogon and Pokémon Showdown at all. That's how strong it really is, especially when you consider its ability Delta Stream eliminates all weaknesses it would otherwise have had as a flying-type (because it's a dragon type, it is still normally weak to ice, but this makes electric-type moves not very effective now) and prevents all kinds of weather from taking effect apart from the Desolate Land and Primordial Sea abilities.

I already thought Rayquaza was a very cool Pokémon, but I've really taken a liking to it when its Mega evolution was revealed. It's one of the most most well-designed Megas out there; so beautiful, so elegant, so powerful. And damn, its shiny. Black shiny Pokémon are almost always some of the best shinies out there, and Rayquaza is absolutely no exception. Everything summarized, Rayquaza's design, flavor and origins are just so awesome I'm giving it a perfect rating.

Rating: 5/5

#383: Groudon

Oh yeah, Groudon looks scary, alright. And all they had to do
 here was copy and paste Groudon's segmented red plates on a
picture of a tyrannosaurus rex from Jurassic Park. Genius.

Let's cut to the chase here: Groudon isn't as interesting as Kyogre by a long shot. It looks like it is barely able to move, but its apparent stiffness isn't accompanied by Kyogre's beauty and grace. This former gold-medal heavyweight (unfortunately for Groudon, Gen. VII Pokémon Celesteela and - of all things - Cosmoem are now the heaviest Pokémon in existence) is just a giant dinosaur monster controlling the land and the sun, which is exactly why it is sought after by Team Magma. Their leader Maxie's objective in Ruby is to expand the landmass in the world to create an ideal living place for both Pokémon and humans alike, although this was slightly altered in Omega Ruby, in which Team Magma wishes to put an end to the misguided ideal of coexistence and expand the land to give humanity more space on which to build and develop civilization. This puts them in direct opposition to Team Aqua, whose leader Archie wants to awaken Kyogre to increase the amount of water in the world to create a situation in which human beings and Pokémon live in perfect harmony with each other. Of course, Archie's ideals in Sapphire are largely the same as Maxie's in Ruby; the only thing that differs is their means of execution. In Alpha Sapphire Team Aqua's motivations have been significantly altered, with Archie now wanting to erase human civilization from the planet by expanding the oceans, so that Pokémon can live untainted by humanity's progress. In both occasions, the player character is there to save the day, so the NPCs in the Pokémon world really have absolutely nothing to worry about, ever.

I honestly intended to include this part in Kyogre's entry, but I wanted something to talk about in Groudon's as well, so here you go.

Primal Groudon is coming to get you.

Whereas Kyogre is based on the Hebrew legend of Leviathan, Groudon is based on its counterpart Behemoth. It is said that at the end of times the sea deity Leviathan and the land deity Behemoth would engage in a titanic battle that would kill them both. While Behemoth is often depicted as some kind of warthog- or hippopotamus-like creature, which - and let's be honest here - doesn't sound nearly as intimidating as a giant sea serpent, it is considered the unconquerable primal master of the land. This also manifests itself in-game in Groudon's former signature ability Drought and its Primal form's ability Desolate Land: Groudon has the power to scatter rain clouds and make water evaporate with light and heat, which is why it brought down droughts in ancient times in order to save people who had been suffering from terrible floods. It is said to have created the continents by causing volcanic eruptions, and much like Kyogre resting in a deep oceanic trench, Groudon slumbers in magma in the profound depths of the Earth, even though this seems strange because regular Groudon doesn't have the fire type at first. Additionally, fire-type moves deal normal damage to Groudon in-game, which contradicts everything it stands for.

Groudon as seen in Pokémon the Movie: Hoopa and the Clash of Ages, emerging
from glowing magma. 

Groudon does get the fire typing on top of its primary ground typing upon Primal Reversion. Usually, this type combination would make Primal Groudon four times weak to water, but its ability Desolate Land summons a sun so scorching hot that all water-type moves evaporate before they have a chance to get into contact with it. Reversely, Primal Kyogre's ability Primordial Sea douses any fire-type moves before they'll be able to as much as touch it, which... isn't actually all that helpful, because Primal Kyogre is a pure water type and resists fire in the first place. Way to go, Game Freak. At least the effects of these abilities last for as long as Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre are on the battlefield. Frankly, Primal Groudon looks like it's much more true to its original purpose than Primal Kyogre is, with the magma flowing through its entire body and all. This magma burns with such an extreme temperature that its body is always shimmering with the haze of its heat, which is to be expected from a creature slumbering so close to the Earth's core, which is proved to be the hottest fucking place on Earth. Now, that's more like it, Game Freak.

A robotic Groudon built by a maniac in Pokémon - Jirachi: Wish Maker.

Like I did in Kyogre's entry, I won't delve into Groudon's competitive utility too much; it is in Smogon's Uber tier for a reason, and with Swords Dance and a couple of strong offensive moves it can absolutely fucking destroy anything in its path. Even Primal Kyogre doesn't stand much of a chance, unless it is switched in at a later point of the match than Primal Groudon, in which case its Primordial Sea ability activates and the effects of Desolate Land fade away, although the exact oppositie happens when Primal Groudon is switched in last.

(Disclaimer: I meant to say that the effects of Desolate Land overturn the effects of Primordial Sea when Primal Groudon is switched in later than Primal Kyogre, not that absolutely nothing would happen when it enters the battlefield.)

While regular Groudon doesn't pique my interest all that much, its Primal form is a lot more fascinating. Not only does it differ much more than its regular form than Primal Kyogre does, it actually gains something of an advantage over its counterpart as well, something that wasn't the case for at least twelve years. Kyogre is still my favorite Hoenn legendary alongside Rayquaza, so it's useless to say that I'm not entirely happy with that. Still, I think Groudon is worthy of being granted a 4.5-star rating nowadays, something I wouldn't have done a couple of years ago.

Rating: 4.5/5

#382: Kyogre

Kyogre whipping up a storm. Because it can, goddammit.

When Ruby and Sapphire were released in the Netherlands, my decision on which game I was gonna get was totally based on the box legendary. You've probably guessed it already, but Kyogre appealed to me more than Groudon did and so I first played Sapphire. (It was but a few years later that I started to get both games, e.g. Diamond and Pearl, Black and White, etc.) In all honesty, I thought both box legendaries looked a little stiff, but Kyogre had an air of beauty and grace to it in my opinion, and nowadays it is still my favorite Hoenn legendary along with Rayquaza. This is partly due to its recent Primal form, which looks both transparent and luminescent and definitely radiates beauty, grace, energy, power and might. And Jesus fucking Christ, mighty it is indeed. Kyogre has control over rain and the element of water in general, and it is said to have expanded the seas and quenched areas of the world plagued with drought by bringing about torrential downpours - which manifests itself in-game in its former signature ability Drizzle and its Primal form's ability Primordial Sea. While normally a calm and peaceful being, Kyogre will engage in a cataclysmic battle against its counterpart Groudon whenever they meet each other, which has definitely ocurred more than once in ancient times, at least according to Zinnia (who is one of my least favorite characters in the entire franchise, by the way; I really can't stand that chick) in the Delta Episode of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire.

Primal Kyogre being totally badass. 

Both Kyogre and Groudon received more powerful Primal forms reminiscent of Mega evolutions in those games, with the only difference being the Blue Orb and Red Orb automatically activating once the player character sends out Kyogre or Groudon, respectively - providing they are actually holding the item, that is. In short, you can't choose whether you want them to undergo Primal Reversion if you let them hold such an orb; you'll just have to make sure you're giving them another item to hold instead if you don't want them to take on their crazy powerful state. I don't know why you wouldn't want to, because Game Freak actually managed to make an alternate form of a legendary not terribly overdesigned for once. I mean... sure, they made these Primal forms way too overpowered, but that's basically what they embody. They're legends, after all. As a matter of fact, Primal Kyogre - who is roughly twice the size of regular Kyogre - is said to have widened the seas by a large margin simply by taking a swim. Dude, if you can widen the seas just by taking a fucking swim, you should be rightfully feared by every living being on Earth.

This GIF of a more realistic approach to Kyogre is nothing short of phenomenal!

Kyogre is most probably based on the Hebrew legend of Leviathan, the unconquerable primal master of the sea. It was said that at the end of time Leviathan and its counterpart Behemoth, the unconquerable primal master of the land, would start a battle that'd kill them both. Obviously, this is reminiscent of Kyogre's conflict with Groudon, which was also tackled by the anime series at some point as a climax to the Team Magma/Team Aqua story arc. While Leviathan is usually depicted as some sort of giant marine snake creature, the Hebrew word for it is commonly used to refer to whales nowadays, hence why Kyogre's appearance draws inspiration from killer whales - or orcas, as they're commonly called - more than sea serpents. While orcas are often described as a whale species, they are more closely related to dolphins, so people who have been whining about wanting a dolphin Pokémon in the franchise so badly for ages technically already got one in 2002 (okay, 2003 for Western countries). Well, to some extent, anyway.

Kyogre is said to have been asleep in a marine trench. I think it has awoken now. 

I'm not even going to address Kyogre's battling capabilities; it stands to reason that it'll deal devastating damage when you slap any good specially offensive move on it, even as its regular form. While I was never a big fan of Kyogre, its Primal form has awakened a love for it in me. It has just the right aspects of being a monster, but it does so with style, which is one of the reasons why I think it's superior to Groudon. Sure, water beats ground, but Groudon has access to the amazing combination of Drought and Solar Beam, so it has nothing to complain about. Kyogre will be the second-to-last Hoenn Pokémon that gets a perfect rating of 5 stars from me, the last being... well, you probably already know. And if you don't, you'd better read this article again very thoroughly.

Rating: 5/5

#380 - #381: Latias & Latios

Latias (left) and Latios (right) as they appear in the manga
series.

I seriously considered rating Latias and Latios separately, but like with Plusle and Minun, they don't differ an awful lot from each other: they're both known as the 'Eon Pokémon', their stats are practically the same aside from some minor differences, their Mega evolutions look almost exactly the same, both only have one possible gender (Latias is female, while Latios can only be male), and they're each other's version counterparts. Heck, even their characteristics aren't that much different if I have to believe their Super Smash Bros. flavor texts. Both Latias and Latios become super aerodynamic when tucking their arms in, allowing them to fly faster than fighter jets; both use telepathy to communicate with others and detect their locations, emotions and intentions; both use the light-bending trait of their glass-like down coats to make themselves invisible when sensing the presence of a human or an enemy, as they tend to be pacifists; and both are intelligent beings that can understand human speech, even though this applies to all Pokémon to some extent. The only difference is that Latias is a delicate little snowflake sometimes (which is by no means meant to be derogatory on my part), as it is prone to crying shrilly to scare off foes when it experiences hostility towards it, while Latios has the ability to make its foe see an image of what it has seen or imagines in its head.

Some nice-ass piece of fan art.

In fact, it is able to share what it's seeing with Latias as well as with other Pokémon and humans, while Latias is able to share what Latios is seeing with other beings as well. This was only demonstrated in the fifth movie Pokémon Heroes: Latios & Latias, but I thought it was still worth mentioning. Also worth mentioning is the plot of this very movie, in which the Soul Dew, a special jewel that houses the soul of Latias and Latios's ancestor who once saved the city of Alto Mare from an evil Trainer, is sought by a female Team Rocket duo of Annie and Oakley - whose names are totally not a reference to the American exhibition sharpshooter Annie Oakley, by the way. Like, at all. In any case, the Soul Dew acts as a key for activating the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare - or DMA for short - and once Annie and Oakley manage to get hold of the jewel and capture Latios, using both to control the DMA, they revive the fossils of the evil Trainer's Kabutops and Aerodactyl in order for them to find Latias. Aside from the fact that they look as undead as the rotten walker in the well on Hershel's farm (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little), the big chase that ensues through the canals of Venice - pardon me, Alto Mare - fails for Team Rocket, and Ash and his friends manage to free Latios from a DMA gone berserk. They also obtain the Soul Dew, but the damn thing turns black and vanishes the moment Annie tries to take it back. The waters of Alto Mare become one giant tsunami, which Latias and Latios try to stop with their psychic powers, but Latios is already weakened and it makes the ultimate sacrifice in order to save Latias and the rest of the city, becoming a new Soul Dew and the guardian of Alto Mare once the tsunami dies down.

Latios (right) reaching out to Latias (left) seconds before its death in Pokémon
Heroes: Latios & Latias.

If I included a poll with the saddest deaths in Pokémon, I have no doubt Latios's death would get the most votes. Maybe I'm callous, but I never cried when I saw this movie. I don't easily cry in the first place; you could show me the most tragic love story of all time and I still wouldn't bawl my eyes out, and I honestly think a movie is not worth spilling your tears over. Especially not an animated movie, since it's all... you know, fake.

Finally, Latios's Pokédex entry mentions that it only shows itself before and opens its heart to Trainers with a compassionate spirit, which brings us to Ash Ketchum. You can say what you want about him; he may be dense and highly incompetent at times, but he deeply cares about his Pokémon and always considers them his friends rather than straight-up battle tools, which is very commendable.

Mega Latios (left) and Mega Latias (right). Blue and red make
purple, so I guess these Megas aren't entirely illogical, but I still
think they're dumb and I tremendously dislike them. Ken
Sugimori must have really had an artist's block when he drew
these, goddamn. Literally the only way to distinguish these
Megas are the color of their eyes, otherwise they're basically the
same Pokémon. 

In the games, however, that's exactly what Latias and Latios are: battle tools. Earlier on in this post I've mentioned their similar stats, both having decent base 80 HP and excellent 110 speed. With base 80 attack, 90 defense, 110 special attack and 130 special defense, Latias tends to be more defensive than offensive, while Latios's attack and defense as well as its special attack and special defense are switched around. Despite that, both Latis are primarily used offensively, although Latias tends to be used more as an offensive support Pokémon with moves like Reflect Type, Defog, Healing Wish and Thunder Wave (not necessarily all of them on one particular moveset) along with a couple of offensive moves. However, its Mega allows it to go completely berserk, as its special attack and special defense are now a solid base 140 and 150, respectively, and Calm Mind boosts each of these stats by one stage every time it is used. Set up once or twice and go all out, that's my advice. That goes especially for Mega Latios, whose special attack is now 160 and becomes as destructive and indestructible as Mega Latias once it's set up. But not only does Mega Latios hit harder than Mega Latias, regular Latios is also stronger than regular Latias, and at exactly the same speed as well. That is why many people like to rock out with a regular Latios holding something else than a Mega Stone, such as a Choice Scarf, Life Orb, Soul Dew (yes, this is also an in-game item; it boosts Latias and Latios's special attack and special defense by 50%, but it was banned from regular tiers and now it can only be used in the Uber tier) or the Choice Specs.

Latias and Latios soaring under a starry sky. Beautiful fan art, i.m.o. 

You don't even have to worry about what ability you want, because both the regular and the Mega Latis come with Levitate, which gives them an immunity to all ground-type moves. Their nature should be Timid at all times, so that you can outspeed a good portion of the metagame, although a Modest nature could be run on Latios - Mega or no - to add a little bit more oomph to its attacking moves. And while there are a couple of differences in the level-up movepools of both Latias and Latios (Latias gets Healing Wish instead of Memento, Guard Split rather than Power Split, Mist Ball instead of Luster Purge, Charm in lieu of Dragon Dance, etc.), they basically learn the same offensive moves: Psychic, Draco Meteor, Psyshock, Surf, Ice Beam, Dragon Pulse, Thunderbolt, Hidden Power, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball... you name it. In short, there's no shortage of coverage moves to choose from - or healing moves, for that matter, because they can both learn Roost and Recover. Having both on the same moveset is of course redundant, but it's a nice thing you have a choice.

Latias and Latios racing across the water with the city skyline behind them. 

Aside from their Megas, though, there is one thing I don't partcularly like about them, which is their religious origin. Latias and Latios are based upon the aeons in Gnosticism, immaterial beings of concepts existing in pairs of males and females emanated from God and one another, hence their classification as the 'Eon Pokémon'. That's... fine, I guess? I don't believe in God and I don't think I entirely understand the concept of aeons, so that makes Latias and Latios's origin story a bit more confusing to me. I guess it could be a nice concept for someone who's into this nonsense, but I guess I'm going to rate Latias and Latios based on their designs and competitive utility, which are more than okay. I can't say either belongs on my favorites list, but at least neither will miss out on a good rating.

Rating: 4/5