#198, #430: Murkrow & Honchkrow

Murkrow.

So. Two more entries before I get to discussing Unown. Man, I can't wait to talk about Unown.

For now I'm gonna focus on Murkrow and Honchkrow, though. These Pokémon are obviously crows and Honchkrow is even the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch... oh wait, wrong franchise. Well, at least it is the Lord Commander of the Italian mafia, as it is not only based on a crow but on a mob boss as well. That's awesome. However, let's not jump ahead too much and take a look at Murkrow first. This bird can be taken to resemble a gang member under Honchkrow, although the crest on its head and its tail might also resemble a pointed hat and the bristles of a broom, respectively, giving it a resemblance to a witch in flight. Additionally, Honchkrow's tail looks like a besom broom, which, along with its hat- and beard-like feathers, give it the impression of a sorcerer or wizard. All this reminds me a little of Magica De Spell (in the Netherlands we call her Zwarte Magica, after zwarte magie, 'black magic'), who is a duck witch with a pet crow and continuously attempts to steal Scrooge McDuck's Number One Dime. It's all very innocent, of course, as it's Disney after all, but still...

Darker pieces of fan art are some of my favorite. This artist managed to make
Murkrow really ominous here, as seeing one is an omen of dark things to come,
although it is more of a prankster. 

And, lo and behold, Murkrow has a fondness for sparkly things and will steal objects such as jewelry to bring back to its nest, even when it comes directly from a woman's finger. Stealing glittering things is a trait that is more often attributed to magpies than to crows, but whatever. Contrary to popular belief, magpies and crows don't steal shiny things anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Murkrow does steal shiny things, and goes as far as to fight with other Pokémon that like them; Meowth and Murkrow even loot one another's stashes. Whenever it is chased, it loses its pursuer by leading it down a dark mountain trail, which it even does to other humans and Pokémon by way of a mean-spirited prank. People in the Pokémon world even get superstitious when it comes to Murkrow: they fear and loathe it and believe it to bring misfortune to those who see it at night.

Honchkrow acting as if it's putting a fedora on its head.

In short, Murkrow is nothing more than a criminal bird, which brings me to Honchkrow's origin. What, you want evidence that Honchkrow is based on the boss of a crime syndicate? Well, three leaders of villainous teams have had a Honchkrow on their teams so far: Giovanni from Team Rocket (who is a mob boss himself, which is a very nice touch Game Freak added there), Cyrus from Team Galactic and Lysandre from Team Flare. Its crest looks like a fedora hat, a piece of headgear often associated with mobsters, and its namesake screams it is based on a crime boss. Let's go:

English: Honchkrow is derived from 'honcho' - which in itself is derived from the Japanese word of hanchō - and means as much as 'leader' or 'boss'.

Japanese: Donkarasu (ドンカラス) is from don, Spanish for 'lord', and karasu, Japanese for crow. The Korean name Donkeurou (돈크로우) is a transliteration of Honchkrow's Japanese name and means exactly the same. This name actually makes the most sense, because 'Don' is a title many mafia leaders adopt.

German: Kramshef is a combination of Krähe and Chef, meaning 'crow' and 'boss', respectively.

Mandarin Chinese: Wūyātóutóu (烏鴉頭頭) is literally 'crow chief'.

French: Corboss is derived from the French word for 'crow', corneille (Bulbapedia says corbeau, but I'm going to contradict that because a corbeau is a raven), and 'boss'.

Still not convinced? Well, Honchkrow makes all Murkrow its bitches by uttering a deep cry, for which it is called the "Summoner of Night". It makes its Murkrow cronies bring it food and follow them when it wanders about at night. It is merciless by nature and never forgives the mistakes of its Murkrow followers. If that doesn't sound like a mob boss, then I don't know what does.

Honchkrow looks much more intimidating than Murkrow does.

Honchkrow is a great competitive battler as well. While Murkrow is just mediocre all around, Honchkrow gains much better HP and offensive stats and slightly better defensive stats when it evolves from Murkrow by use of a Dusk Stone (they're the only non-ghost types who can do that). Unfortunately, Honchkrow loses quite a bit of speed, so it is slower than its pre-evolution, which is never a good thing. Luckily there is a move that can get around that quite easily: Sucker Punch, which always hits first but fails when the target is not using a damaging move. Honchkrow has access to a great hidden ability, Moxie, which raises its attack by one stage when it knocks something out. Combine that with an Adamant nature and a Life Orb, and Honchkrow hits like a truck with moves like Brave Bird, Sucker Punch and Superpower (with Roost for reliable recovery). That's as far as useful moves go, though; it learns Steel Wing as well, but it's a rather weak move that's hardly worth the hassle. But fear not: there is another set that is worth your while. Honchkrow's base 125 attack is great, but its base 105 special attack is nothing to sneeze at, either. While it has no access to special-based flying-type moves, it does learn Nasty Plot naturally, with which it essentially doubles its special attack. In conjunction with a Modest nature and a Life Orb it can cause some serious damage. And it has access to just enough useful special moves, too: Dark Pulse, Psychic and Heat Wave are all viable options. It is advisable to go for Insomnia or Super Luck as its ability, though, as Moxie becomes useless when you decide to go for a special Nasty Plot set.

I think it's great Game Freak went for a mob boss Pokémon. It's such a unique concept; I don't think there are many animal Pokémon based on humans - in this case, a crow that resembles a crime boss. Well, there are humanoid Pokémon, but that's not exactly what I mean. While Honchkrow is not one of my all-time favorite Pokémon, it is definitely worthwhile of a 4.5-star rating. Honchkrow is a boss.

Rating: 4.5/5

#194 - #195: Wooper & Quagsire

You know, I've never been quite sure what these Pokémon are supposed to represent, so this is an excellent moment to do some research on that.

Wooper trying to cool Magby down with a Water Gun after a
heated argument with two squabbling Pichu. This scene is from
a Pokémon side-story special. 

Okay, so Wooper seems to be based on the larval stage of an axolotl, especially considering the flat tail and the feathery external gills. I don't consider myself dumb, but I thought larvae were a bug thing and I hate it that I didn't know the primary stages of certain amphibians are called the same. I'm just sayin'. Anyway, axolotls are often called 'Mexican walking fish', but they're in fact salamanders and are thus amphibians. Wooper and Upah (ウパー) are derived from the Japanese marketing term wooper looper, which started a true fad involving raising pet salamanders. I can think of something much more fun, like collecting Pokémon cards or listening to music, but whatever floats your boat, I guess... Wooper looper is also the Japanese term used to refer to an axolotl, so go figure. Axolotls don't develop lungs and take to land, by the way; fully grown specimens remain aquatic and gilled instead. Wooper, however, is part ground type and is capable of going on land, but when it does so it creates a poisonous layer of goo to protect its body and keep it from dehydrating. It's better not to touch the film of slime, because doing so causes a shooting pain.

Quagsire. Heh. Quagsire looks very clever
here, but it's actually 'quite' unintelligent, as it
keeps colliding with things while swimming.

Quagsire is more of a giant salamander, and not even an axolotl at that. Quagsire is from 'quagmire' and 'sire', the latter being a honorific form of adress for someone of high social status, especially a king. This makes sense, as Quagsire's Japanese name Nuoh (ヌオー) contains numa, meaning swamp or marsh, and ō, meaning king. So basically, Quagsire is the King of the Swamp. I can name numerous better things to be king of, but at least it's something, right? Well, at 4'07" and 165.3 pounds, Quagsire is a huge-ass salamander thing, so it's probably also based on the Japanese giant salamander (ōsanshōuo) or just giant salamanders in general. These colossi can reach lenghts up to 5 feet and can weigh as much as 55 pounds, which is by far not as much as Quagsire's weight, but I wouldn't want to hold one of those creepy things in my arms, that's for sure. Not that that would be possible, as Quagsire has a slippery layer of skin that makes it very difficult to handle. It's also a very dim-witted and carefree Pokémon that keeps bumping things while swimming, like boulders and boat hulls, and doesn't even get very hungry because it doesn't move very often. While Ash's Pokédex claims Quagsire likes to make its nest in freshwater lakes, it can be found in the Great Marsh and Route 212 in Sinnoh (Diamond, Pearl and Platinum) and the marshland and wetland areas of the Safari Zone in Johto (HeartGold and SoulSilver), which are swampy areas. Kinda contradictory, but whatever. Wooper and Quagsire's classification as the 'Water Fish Pokémon' is also kinda erroneous, as axolotls and other salamanders are amphibians and not fish. Oh, well.

Old-ass official art of Quagsire, as always drawn by Ken
Sugimori. 

What Quagsire really excels in, though, is being bad. Not in the sense that it's terrible, but I can name several other Pokémon that could serve as a physical tank much better than Quagsire can. Gastrodon, for example, who has the same typing as Quagsire (water/ground) but has a better HP stat and a good special attack stat and is therefore more capable of serving as a tank on both sides of the spectrum while still doing some considerable damage. But let's assume you love Quagsire and you want to use it: I recommend slapping a Relaxed nature and its hidden ability Unaware on it.

Relaxed and Unaware; both fit Quagsire's personality perfectly, ha ha ha.

Anyway.

Invest in HP and defense, give it the Leftovers to hold for a little bit of recovery after every turn, and copose a moveset consisting of Scald, Toxic, Recover and Earthquake. Quagsire's special attack is actually really mediocre, but Scald has a chance to burn the foe and that enhances Quagsire's moderate physical bulk even more. Toxic is to inflict poison if burning the target isn't desirable, while Recover lets Quagsire heal half its HP and Earthquake is just a good move to deal damage with.

And that's it. I really don't know how else to use this thing. Like, an Adamant Choice Banded Quagsire? Heh, don't make me laugh. If you don't invest in HP and at least one defense stat, it'll be too frail to take a hit. And its design is kinda LOL, to be honest. It's just silly, although I have to say that both Wooper and Quagsire radiate a certain cuteness, so I guess I'll let them off with a 3-star rating. That should do it, right?

Rating: 3/5

#193, #469: Yanma & Yanmega

I guess the days that Yanma was the rare card in a TCG pack are
long gone. 

Okay, so this is one of those Pokémon whose typing American people are fussing about. Yanmega is clearly based on the dragonfly, so surely it should be a dragon type as well, right? Well, no. It makes perfect sense for Yanmega being a bug/flying type, as it is hardly based on dragons. English is one of only a few languages that adopts the word 'dragon' in the name of the dragonfly, the other one I could find being the Icelandic drekaflugur. The Dutch actually call the dragonfly a libelle, and this is by far the most common name, or variations thereof, I could distinguish, along with variations of the suborder the dragonfly belongs to, anisoptera. There are several other names to be found in other languages as well, but I'm not a polyglot (I only speak Dutch fluently, and I'd dare say I'm pretty good in English, too) so please don't quote me on all of this. All I know is that Yanma, at 3'11" and 83.8 pounds, is a big-ass dragonfly. Yanmega is even worse, sitting at 6'03" and 113.5 pounds, so I wouldn't want to encounter one in the wild. Both are probably based on a large prehistoric species of dragonflies that has long gone extinct, but especially Yanmega is based on this meganeura monyi. The fact that yanma is Japanese for 'large dragonfly' only backs this up.

Pretty nice, this piece of fan art. 

Yanma, who has some aesthetic traits with the red-veined darter, very much behaves like a common dragonfly: it makes sudden stops in midair and hovers in place by just flapping its wings. It can generate shock waves capable of shattering glass by flapping its wings very fast, something I doubt real-life dragonflies can do. Although Yanma doesn't have two arthropod-like eyes, it is capable of turning them 360° without actually having to move them around, very much like real compound eyes. Yanmega - into which Yanma evolves when it is leveled up while knowing Ancient Power, a move that both Pokémon have a quadruple weakness to - is a lot more terrifying. Both Yanma and Yanmega are predators, but Yanmega has immense jaw power, which allows it to bite apart its prey's head (decapitation?) while flying by at high speed, and its six legs can even transport a adult human being in flight. The shock waves it generates by beating its wings are even stronger than Yanma's: they cause internal damage to opponents and dislodge trees when Yanmega takes flight.

TCG art of Yanmega.

It proves to be just as terrifying in competitive play, as its quite capable base stat total of 515 doesn't exactly leave it vulnerable. Okay, it's defenses aren't all that - especially its special defense is awfully mediocre - but with 86 HP and defense it should be able to take a physical hit or two. I am going to dwell on two possible sets for Yanmega, the first being the Tinted Lens set. This set allows you to run Choice Specs, so to make sure Yanmega hits as hard as possible with its excellent 116 special attack: Tinted Lens lets all non-super-effective moves deal normal damage instead, while the Choice Specs increase Yanmega's special attack by 50% at the cost of limiting it to using only one move until switched out, so those are welcome boosts. Its other ability, Speed Boost, increases its speed every turn and works well in combination with a Life Orb and the move Protect, which prevents anything from happening to Yanmega. Although it is hard to use it twice in a row, just click Protect after you switch into Yanmega so that it can gain a free speed increase. Both sets should contain the moves Bug Buzz, Air Slash, and either Giga Drain or Ancient Power, while the Tinted Lens set fares better with something like U-Turn instead of Protect. A Timid nature is preferable in both sets, as it increases Yanmega's speed a little, but a Modest nature to focus on special attack instead isn't bad, either. Just know that a Tinted Lens set won't allow your Yanmega to outspeed many speedy Pokémon, while a few Speed Boost increases will.

Goddamn, that is a big-ass bug!

Yanmega is a weird thing that is suprisingly good in battle, especially when you consider it's an evolution of such a bad Pokémon as Yanma. While I'm not exactly fond of it, you can't say that I hate it, either. Its classification of the 'Ogre Darner Pokémon' looks quite confusing, but it's green and vicious - like ogres usually are - and it's based on the green darner dragonfly (its shiny form even on the less common blue female ones), so I won't question it. I have yet to use it on whatever occasion you can come up with - with other words, I have never used this thing before at all - so for now I'll give it 4 stars. Who knows, perhaps I'll max out its rating once I've gotten a chance to make use of it.

Rating: 4/5

#191 - #192: Sunkern & Sunflora

There is so little Sunkern fan art to be found on the Internet that I
decided to use a cute GIF of it instead. Here you are. 

There isn't an awful lot to say about Sunkern and Sunflora. Sunkern is the weakest Pokémon in existence; with base stats of 30 across the board it reaches a base stat total of 180, the lowest of all existing Pokémon. It has the lowest HP of all grass-type Pokémon, and it is tied with Lotad for the lowest defense and with Bellsprout and Seedot for the lowest special defense of all grass types. In other words, it is an awful Pokémon. It is aware of its weakness, though, so all it does is feed itself with the dew that collects beneath leaves and be as still as possible so that it can conserve all the nutrients in its body as effectively as possible. Also, it likes to suddenly plummet from the sky in early mornings, just for the heck of it. And that's all there is to it. When this shooting sunflower seed evolves into an actual goddamn sunflower by use of a Sun Stone, it starts to converts sunlight into nutrition. Jeez, in real-life we have such a thing too, only it's called photosynthesis. Have you ever heard of that? I had never even heard of that. (!)

About the best piece of Sunflora art I could
find. This thing does not have many fans...

In all seriousness, though, they need plenty of sunlight and water and rush about in a hectic manner in pursuit of what they need. When the sun sets, they come to a complete stop and close their petals. This whole solar thing is what Sunflora is about, as it is also its niche in battles: its abilities Chlorophyll and Solar Power both center around sunlight and a few of the moves in its level-up movepool have a connection to the sun, too. It has to be said that almost every grass-type Pokémon can learn Sunny Day and Solar Beam, so it's not all that special. My advice is to not use this thing at all competitively (in a regular playtrough it would do just fine), but I guess it has its uses. When Sunkern evolves into Sunflora, its special attack skyrockets to a solid 105, so at least it packs a punch. Too bad its other stats are mediocre or just plain bad. It's speed is terrible and can only be increased by Chlorophyll, which doubles its speed in harsh sunlight. That's what Sunny Day is for, but as Sunflora is slow and not very defensive, you'll have to let another Pokémon set up the sun. It's more hassle than it's worth, honestly, but let's build from there. Its low speed allows Sunflora to sport a Modest nature and a couple of offensive moves, along with Synthesis. The latter heals Sunflora's HP by 75% when the sun is up, but its movepool is... not very versatile. Naturally, it learns a ton of good special-based grass-type moves, but the only move of another type it can learn is Earth Power. And Sludge Bomb, but that kind of takes away the purpose of all those grass/poison dual-type Pokémon. Or not, because they are generally better at this Chlorophyll thing than Sunflora is. There is Solar Power, which increases Sunflora's special attack in the sun in exchange for some HP, but as Sunflora isn't all that bulky, that's kinda risky, especially when you also let it hold a Life Orb.

You know, I don't hate Sunflora, but I think its design, flavor and competitive and in-game utility could've been executed much better. Right now, it's just there and it's doing nothing in particular, which makes it one of the most forgettable Pokémon ever. I... just can't give it a good rating, I'm sorry.

Rating: 2/5

#190, #424: Aipom & Ambipom

Ash's Aipom had a penchant for headgear,
especially Ash's hat, as you can see in these
images. You can't see it here, but Aipom
usually has a cowlick atop its head.

Aipom, wipe that stupid grin off your fucking face.

You know, this time I'm glad Game Freak did the right thing and actually gave such a bad Pokémon a great evolution. But however bad a battler Aipom might be by itself, it is actually a pretty fun Pokémon. At the end of the Advanced Generation series (seasons 6 to 9), Ash encountered one that had quite the playful and jealous nature and had a fetish for headgear, continuously stealing Ash's hat and even getting itself into trouble when it put on a crown that couldn't be taken off. Eventually, a berry helped solve the problem. A bigger problem was that the Advanced Generation series ended shortly after Ash acquired Aipom, causing him to leave all of his Pokémon behind when he left for Sinnoh - with the exception of Pikachu, of course. But Aipom would have none of it: he attacked Professor Oak and snuck aboard the boat Ash was traveling on to accompany him on his journey. This proved to be extremely beneficial, as Pikachu was kidnapped by Team Rocket immediately upon arrival and Aipom helped Ash find him. Ash ultimately traded Aipom for Dawn's Buizel, as Buizel was more interested in Ash's battle training and Aipom was more interested in Dawn's Contest-oriented training. Ash must have regretted that, because soon after the trade was made, Aipom learned Double Hit and evolved into Ambipom. And let's be honest, Ambipom is much better than Aipom and has a lot more tricks up its sleeve.

To hell with fan art, anime screenshots are much more interesting to use in this
particular article. Look at that smirk on Ambipom's face! 

But let's not jump the gun, I want to focus on their flavor first. Aipom seems to be based on a squirrel monkey with traits of cymbal-banging monkey toys and the ahuizotl, a creature of Aztec mythology that has monkey hands and a fifth human hand on its tail. Aipom's tail does look like a hand; its tail is actually prehensile and is strong enough to anchor Aipom to a branch and suspend the rest of its body in the air, while it is delicate enough to pick fruit and grab other objects. Aipom even wraps its tail around tree branches as it sleeps upside down, and even uses it to swing from branch to branch. Ironically, its actual arms aren't all that dexterous because it uses its tail so much. And Ambipom? Well, Ambipom has two tails, both of which have hands on it and both of which it can use equally well - hence the reference to 'ambidextrous' in its name. Its tails are so adept at handling and doing things that it barely uses its hands anymore, and they're used to leap from tree to tree with brilliant speed. Those trees seem to be Aipom and Ambipom's habitat, which is nicely demonstrated by the games: in Gold, Silver and Crystal - and their remakes - Aipom can be found in Headbutt trees, while in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum you have to smear Honey on Honey trees to attract them instead.

These girls just want to have fun. 

Aipom evolves into Ambipom by leveling it up while it knows the move Double Hit, which is the kind of evolution method used for evolving Lickitung into Lickilicky (ugh, I cannot emphasize enough how much I despise that thing), but with the move Rollout instead. There's just one difference: while Lickilicky should avoid using Rollout, Double Hit is actually a viable move for Ambipom to use... when it's running the Technician ability, that is. Pickup lets it occasionally pick up items after winning battles in a regular playthrough, so it's only handy outside of competitive play (Ambipom does pick up one-time use items of opposing Pokémon in battle and uses them itself, but only when it is not already holding an item, and you don't want that), while Skill Link enables it to let multi-strike moves always strike the maximum number of times. As Skill Link only affects Double Slap, with 15 power, and Fury Swipes, with 18 power, it is by far not the preferred ability. True, both moves will strike five times, but the combined power of these moves are 75 and 90, respectively, while Double Hit always hits two times for 35 power a pop. This will be 52.5 power per hit when Technician is applied, which can add up to 105 power in total. That's more than the maximum power of 102 from Return, although Double Hit does have lower accuracy.

No, don't ask me why Double Hit always hits two times and Double Slap can hit two to five times, because I have no clue whatsoever. I can only theorize that it has something to do with their original Japanese names: when translated, the Japanese name for Double Slap is Round Trip Slap, which does not indicate a specific number of strikes, while Double Hit is Double Attack.

Somehow this kind of ghostly wallpaper art fits Ambipom perfectly.

But let's not digress here. Ambipom isn't the best Pokémon in the competitive metagame, but that's not to say you can't compose a good set for it. It excels in attack and speed, while its defenses are pretty abysmal altogether, so it's more of a hit-and-run Pokémon. Give Ambipom a Jolly nature and a Life Orb and make its moveset look as follows: Fake Out (priority move that makes the opponent flinch and is boosted by Technician), Double Hit/Return (whichever you prefer), Knock Off and U-Turn. This is more of a utility moveset, but if you want more of an offensive threat, Ambipom also learns a variety of other physical-based moves: Seed Bomb, Gunk Shot, the elemental punches, Acrobatics (doesn't work well with a Life Orb, which it needs; its attack is good, but it needs all the power it can get), Brick Break, Focus Punch, Iron Tail and a bunch of Technician-boosted moves like Revenge (this move doubles its base power of 60 when Ambipom is hit first, but the ability only activates when Ambipom gets the first hit instead), Pursuit, Aerial Ace, Thief, Covet and Power-Up Punch. Lastly, one gimmicky strategy you could use is the Fake Out/Last Resort combo. Last Resort is a normal-type move with 140 base power and it will only activate when all of the other moves Ambipom knows have been used at least once without having switched Ambipom out during the battle. It can be pretty lethal combined with a Life Orb, but Ambipom will end up with only two moves in its arsenal, which could turn out to be disadvantageous.

Oh, one more thing: both sets make a Choice Band or Choice Scarf pretty useless, so I don't recommend using them as alternatives to the Life Orb.

Ambipom's official art is heavily modified, but I think it's pretty this way. 

Man, I love Ambipom and I think it is easily the best Gen. IV cross-generational evolution alongside Rhyperior. Aipom was pretty enjoyable back in the day, but I have slowly come to love Ambipom since it was introduced in Diamond and Pearl. I thought it was weird, but now I regret not putting it in my top 50 favorite Pokémon (check my badly-written previous blog for that; or rather, don't). After all this praise, you probably think I'm gonna give it a perfect rating... and you would be entirely correct.

Rating: 5/5

#187 - #189: Hoppip, Skiploom & Jumpluff

One big, happy family: Hoppip (middle), Skiploom (left) and
Jumpluff (right).

I don't even have the faintest idea where to start with such insignificant Pokémon. It's funny I say that, too, because Hoppip might be derived from 'pipsqueak', which means as much as a person who's considered insignificant because of their small size or young age. That's not the reason why I'm calling Hoppip and its evolutions insignificant, though; no, the reason why I see them as such is because I don't think they're good Pokémon at all. Hoppip and Skiploom are actually terrible Pokémon: they have no attacking power whatsoever, and their defenses aren't anything to write home about, either. But if you think Jumpluff is where it's at, you're dead wrong. Okay, if you put some investment in its HP and one or either of its defensive stats, it might live two or three hits that aren't super effective, but it is generally a bad Pokémon. It's no good using it offensively, not even with its ability Infiltrator, which ignores the effects of Reflect, Light Screen, Safeguard and Mist and even bypasses Substitute. The only thing that Jumpluff could be used for, at least in my opinion, is for putting an opponent to sleep and then U-Turn the fuck out in order for you to switch into another Pokémon to finish that opponent off. Seems like as good a strategy as any, although there are other grass-type Pokémon who can do the exact same job for you while they're still packing a punch. They're probably not as fast as Jumpluff, but I guess you'll just have to accept that if you want a better Pokémon overall.

Cute Hoppip fan art.

Oh, you say there are better sets for Jumpluff? Well, it learns Swords Dance, and it looks great in combination with Seed Bomb and Acrobatics, but the latter only has a power of 110 when Jumpluff isn't holding any item, so that means you can't enhance its 'strength' even further with a held item if you want to use that move. And you might not have a choice at all, as it's the only good flying-type move it has access to and, above all, you're gonna need all the power you can get. What else should you run, a Bounce/Power Herb combo? It's better to just slap Memento (lowers the foe's attacking stats by two stages but causes Jumpluff to faint instantly) and/or Encore (locks the foe into an unfavorable move) on it and strategically try to maneuver another Pokémon of yours into battle and let it set up safely. Or just shy away from Jumpluff altogether.

I notice that this kind of art, in which cute Pokémon are thrown
on a heap, is fairly popular on the Internet. In this picture, a
shiny Hoppip is thrown into the mix. 

It's too bad I have to say that, because I absolutely LOVE Hoppip, Skiploom and Jumpluff's designs. They're based on the life cycle of a dandelion, which used to be my favorite flower when I was a kid, just because I would pluck them in the last phase of their life and blow the fluff away. The leaves on Hoppip's head, which have ragged edges, resemble those of the dandelion, while Skiploom's flower and Jumpluff's fluff are based on the middle and last stages of a dandelion's lifespan, respectively. Their names are a play on the phase , which means that something is just a short distance away. It's quite ironic, because Hoppip can drift away and uncontrollably fly long distances if they aren't careful, which is why they gather in clusters to protect themselves from strong winds that they can sense approaching.

Jumpluff.

Skiploom largely has its movements under control, though, and even tries to get closer to the sun in order to get some much-needed vitamin D. Nah, just kidding. It's just that the flower on its head opens and closes as the temperature fluctuates and blossoms when it gets warmer than 64°F. How much the bloom opens depends on the temperature as well, which is why Skiploom is often used as a thermometer by humans. Jumpluff very much behaves like a dandelion in the last phase of its life, as it drifts on seasonal winds to spread its spores and make offspring (yet in the games, Hoppip still hatch from eggs). Much like Skiploom, it hates rain and cold air currents, so it only rides warm southern winds. Even here, the phrase "Just a hop, skip, and a jump away" appears to be quite ironic, because Jumpluff uses these winds to cross seas and fly to far, foreign lands. I'm almost starting to think Game Freak's use of that phrase was meant to be ironic, but I don't think they're that clever, LOL. Also, it's a nice touch how Jumpluff's cotton-puff spores on/in its hands - I have no idea which one the fuck it is - resemble pom-poms; you know, those things that are often used by cheerleaders to cheer for high school sport teams. Maybe that's why Jumpluff is generally better to use as a support Pokémon, ha ha ha.

Okay, I'm lame.

I've always loved these Pokémon, but it's such a shame I found out they're not really good in battle, not even in-game. Skiploom evolves into Jumpluff at an early level (level 27), but that doesn't really help Jumpluff's cause, either: it might be good at the beginning of the game, but it'll fall behind on the other Pokémon in your team. Putting the foe to sleep with Sleep Powder and switch out afterwards is only useful in Nuzlocke variants, so I was very disappointed with it when I was doing a regular playthrough. That's why they're now a whole star short of a perfect rating, but I have to do this, however much I like these things.

Rating: 4/5

#438, #185: Bonsly & Sudowoodo

I think Bonsly looks stupid, but this realistic 3D art looks even
better than the actual cartoon version. 

Sigh. I don't want to talk about Bonsly. I think it is stupid and unnecessary and basically just a rip-off of its evolution, as I think most baby Pokémon are. All it does is being a downright attention whore by continuously creating fake tears. Okay, it does so because it needs to adjust its body's fluid and moisture levels, but I don't fucking care; this phony bonsai tree can go to hell for all I care. No, I'm much more interested in Sudowoodo, the Pokémon that blocked the road to Ecruteak City in Gold and Silver (and their remakes). You had to beat Whitney and her terrifying Miltank first before you could get a SquirtBottle (or a Wailmer Pail in HeartGold and SoulSilver) from the lady in the Goldenrod flower shop in order to spray water all over Sudowoodo to make it attack you. As Sudowoodo is a static Pokémon and doesn't appear anywhere else in the games, many people tried to catch it at first, until they realized Sudowoodo isn't all that great after all. Of course, I was the exception to the rule, because I started using it in my HeartGold playthrough and it turned out to be quite the strong and diverse Pokémon. Very satisfactory, even better than the other Pokémon on my team. Then again, one of them was a Fearow, and it's generally not hard to outclass mediocre Pokémon like that when you're a slightly better mediocre Pokémon yourself.

Look at Sudowoodo being a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. 

One thing that bothers me is that so many people complain that Sudowoodo is not part grass. I mean, WHY would it be a grass-type Pokémon? Sudowoodo is nothing but a phoney trying to fool others with its appearance. It is based on petrified wood, plants that have become fossilized over time, and therefore its composition is closer to a rock than a plant. It likes to disguise itself as a tree and stand along paths to avoid being attacked, although its camouflage fails in wintertime because its fingertips remain green at all times. Sudowoodo is basically a fake tree, which becomes clear in X and Y, in which it can be found in a horde battle alongside four Trevenant. That's genius, Game Freak. This tree disguise thing can also be found in the names it has received from Game Freak across the globe:

English: Sudowoodo is a combination of pseudo- (a prefix meaning 'false') and 'wood'. Aditionally, Bonsly is derived from 'bonsai' and 'sly' or 'lie'.

Japanese: Usokkie (ウソッキー) is derived from uso, ki and usotsuki, meaning 'false', 'tree' and 'liar', respectively. Additionally, Usohachi (ウソハチ) contains the Japanese word for flower pot, hachi. And let's face it, Bonsly does look like a terracotta plant pot. It even has a hole in its rear to boot.

French: Simularbre is a combination of simuler and arbre, the latter of which means 'tree'. Surely I don't have to explain to you guys what simuler means, right?

German: Mogelbaum is a conjunction of mogeln and Baum (the Germans have a tendency to capitalize their nouns), which mean 'to cheat' and 'tree', respectively. Additionally, Bonsly's German name is Mobai.

Korean: Kkojimo (꼬지모) is a combination of keojit or geojit, meaning 'lie' or 'falsehood', and the Korean word for 'tree', mok. Aditionally, the Korean name for Bonsly is Kkojiji
(꼬지지).

Brock licking Sudowoodo, because he likes being weird. I guess
it's effective, because Sudowoodo hates water (and wet things in
general). This scene is from "Type Casting"; season 4, episode 5.

Still think Sudowoodo should be a grass type? I don't - never have, in fact. Sudowoodo is supposed to be a rock thing pretending to be a tree, but it's not an actual tree in the slightest, so it would have made no sense at all if Game Freak had given it the grass type. It would have helped boost Wood Hammer, but that is a strong physical grass-type move in itself, anyway. And with the ability Rock Head, Sudowoodo wouldn't even have to take recoil damage from it, so it can hit the opponent without damaging itself. Sturdy is handy as well, but this ability would only come in handy when you want to guarantee that Stealth Rock will be set up. Don't even look at Rattled, because that is a dumb ability. It raises Sudowoodo's speed by one stage when it is hit by a bug-, dark- or ghost-type move, but its speed is already quite abhorrent, so it doesn't need Rattled. Fortunately, it is very physically defensive, so if you watch out for special attackers you can run a Life Orb or Choice Band set with Rock Slide (or Stone Edge, but that move is less accurate), Wood Hammer, Earthquake and Hammer Arm. It also learns Sucker Punch to catch opponents by surprise, while the elemental punches might be feasible options as well. Just be aware that Rock Head doesn't prevent recoil from the Life Orb, only from regular moves like Double-Edge.

Sudowoodo has always been an intriguing Pokémon to me, although it is not a particularly good Pokémon. Nonetheless, I like it a lot, even though it's such a shame Game Freak had to give it a stupid pre-evolution.

Rating: 4.5/5