#273 - #275: Seedot, Nuzleaf & Shiftry

A papercraft Seedot on top of a pile of real-ass
acorns. Ingenious.

Remember those Pokémon that like to randomly drop from the sky, like Sunkern? Well, Seedot is the same, except in this case it makes more sense: the short stem on top of the cap-like thing on its head gives it the appearance of an acorn and is used to hang on trees, where Seedot absorbs their moisture and nutrients and falls to the ground with a thump when it becomes too heavy. It doesn't only look like an acorn, it is also classified as the 'Acorn Pokémon' and is even mistaken for a nut when it remains still, startling other Pokémon by moving when it is being 'preyed' upon. It even finds delight in scaring other Pokémon, that naughty little shit. And it doesn't get any better when it evolves into Nuzleaf, because Nuzleaf uses the leaf on its head as a flute to make music that creates senses of unease, uncertainty and even dread in people, even though it is perfectly able to play pleasant melodies. It will come out of its natural habitat - the forest - to purposely frighten people, which is not even mischievous behavior anymore but just plain bullying. Nuzleaf, you have issues. Then again, Nuzleaf is now also a dark type instead of a pure grass type like Seedot, and in Japanese the type translates to 'evil type'. What's curious is that both Seedot and Nuzleaf seem to be vain creatures: Seedot has a body that becomes glossier the more water it drinks and polishes it with leaves once a day to look pretty, whereas Nuzleaf hates having its long nose pinched, although I wouldn't like that either if I had a nose like that.

Nuzleaf on a Topps Pokémon card. 

That nose is kind of a big thing when it comes to Pinocchio - pardon me, Nuzleaf. The English name for it already contains the word 'nose', but its Japanese name is Konohana (コノハナ), which literally means 'big nose'. And that's not all, because its German name Blanas is derived from Blad, Blatt and Nase - 'brat', 'leaf' and 'nose' respectively - and its Korean name Ipseko (잎새코) contains saeko, which means 'pointy nose'. That nose is kind of an important in the designs of Nuzleaf and its evolution Shitry, because they seem to be based on the tengu, a cruel and tricky Japanese goblin often associated with a humongous nose. The earliest tengu were depicted with beaks, as they were originally believed to be avian creatures, but the long nose is widely considered the one defining characteristic of a tengu today. Shiftry's feet even resemble the type of geta (a kind of Chinese-Japanese footwear that resemble both clogs and flip-flops) that tengu are usually pictured with, called tengu-geta, while the hand fans Shiftry has for hands resemble the feathered fan called a ha-uchiwa most tengu are depicted holding. The dark type really does Shiftry justice, as it is a wicked and mysterious Pokémon that is said to live in the tops of 1,000-year-old trees and is feared by people as the guardian of the forest. It is said to arrive with chilly, wintry winds and the hand fans - or fan hands - can even generate gusts of wind in excess of 100 feet per second, being able to blow anything away. Shiftry is even able to read an opponent's mind, then take pre-emptive action.

Team Rocket surrounded by a bunch of Shiftry. Yes, Meowth and
James are both dressed up as Jessie; no, I don't know why. 

Unfortunately, Shiftry isn't all that menacing in competitive play. Its good HP doesn't really back up its worse-than-medicore defenses and its speed isn't anything out of the ordinary, either. Its best stats are its base 100 attack and base 90 special attack, which are workable but make Shiftry more of a glass cannon. Luckily, there are two sets you can use: a Swords Dance set and a Nasty Plot set. Swords Dance can be used to buff up Shiftry's attack stat, while the rest of the slots in its moveset consist of strong attacking moves. Its average make it more reliable on Sucker Punch than it would like to, but it is merely an option and can be replaced with Knock Off instead, while Seed Bomb, Leaf Blade, X-Scissor and Rock Slide are viable options to fill in the rest of its moveset. A physical set does require an Adamant or Jolly nature, and if you let another Pokémon set up the sun for Shiftry, it can make use of the speed boost its ability Chlorophyll provides it in harsh sunlight. This also works when Shiftry is running Nasty Plot and thus makes use of a special moveset rather than a physical one. Honestly, its special movepool is much better than its physical movepool: it learns Giga Drain, Dark Pulse, Focus Blast, Energy Ball, Leaf Storm, Shadow Ball (redundant, as ghost-type moves cover the same types dark-type moves do), Hurricane (a reference to its ability to whip up strong gusts of wind) and even Extrasensory, which is oddly Nuzleaf's former signature move, even though it's a grass/dark type and not a psychic type. It goes without saying that Shiftry needs a Modest or Timid nature when running Nasty Plot rather than Swords Dance, but one thing's for sure: both sets can be extremely deadly when Shiftry is holding a Life Orb.

And should you want to get rid of screens and/or entry hazards, Shiftry can learn Defog through breeding. I'd recommend giving another Pokémon a move that can remove entry hazards and the like, but at least the option to give it to Shiftry is right there. You can even make Shiftry a mixed attacker and give it Growth instead of Nasty Plot or Swords Dance so that it can boost both its physical and special attack by one stage each (two when the sun is in effect).

Who doesn't want a GIF of three Seedot jumping up and down? Adorable.

Shiftry is... interesting, I guess? Its design is not as appealing as Ludicolo's and it's not as viable in the competitive scene as Ludicolo is, but at least its flavor in general is kind of interesting. Both Shiftry and Ludicolo are based on certain Japanese yōkai, with the Shiftry family based on the tengu and the Ludicolo family based on the kappa. This makes them parallels to each other - or counterparts, if you will - especially when you consider both evolutionary lines are version-exclusive: Seedot can be caught on Route 102 in Ruby, while Lotad can be found in the same area in Sapphire. Shiftry's design is a little too blocky to my taste and I am of the opinion that it doesn't look as natural as Ludicolo does, but that doesn't necessarily mean I hate it. I just don't think it is worthy of any rating higher than 3.5 stars.

P.S.: What the FUCK is up with that mullet, though?

Rating: 3.5/5

#270 - #272: Lotad, Lombre & Ludicolo

Lotad watering flowers using the dish-shaped lilypad on its back.

Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire were unique in the sense that they provided version-exclusive counterparts to be caught early on in the game. Even before you'd reach Petalburg City, Lotad could be caught on Route 102 in Sapphire, while Seedot could be caught in the same area in Ruby. While both got unique typings (Seedot evolves into the grass/dark-type Pokémon Nuzleaf, who eventually evolves into Shiftry, while Lotad is water/grass to begin with and stays that way all the way up to its final evolution Ludicolo), Lotad and its evolutions are basically the superior counterparts. Water/grass is such a good typing that it eliminates weaknesses to moves of common types like electric, grass, ice and fire, making them neutral instead, and leaves Lotad with trivial weaknesses to bug and flying and a significant one to poison due to all the fairy types chillin' around lately. Lotad itself is not all that interesting; it is a fresh-water Pokémon with a lilypad on its back, which is used to ferry smaller Pokémon that can't swim across lakes and ponds sometimes and withers when Lotad becomes dehydrated. That's pretty much all there is to say about it, to be honest. Nothing out of the ordinary to be seen here.

Lombre carrying three adorable Mudkipsies on
the hat-like lilypad on its head.

When Lotad evolves, however, it'll become a Pokémon Donald Trump would dub a 'bad hombre'. (Disclaimer: I pity any American who voted for Trump and thinks he will in fact change their country for the better, but I truly feel sorry for those who voted for Hillary Clinton and have to put up with a misogynistic, racist, homophobic and just generally douchy excuse for a President now.) You see, Lombre is a play on either hombre or sombrero - Spanish for 'man' or 'hat', respectively - or both, although its Japanese and German names of Hasubrero (ハスブレロ) and Lombrero definitely point to the latter. If you look closely, you'll see that the lilypad on its head indeed looks a little like this distinctive Mexican hat everybody would recognize from a considerable distance. Also, Lombre looks like it's wearing overalls, giving it the general appearance of a lazy Mexican, which even I think is a little stereotypical. But Lombre is primarily based on a certain creature from Japanese mythology: we've come across Golduck already, who seems to have some traits of a kappa, but Lombre is more obviously based on this creature. Kappa means 'river child' and this may be why Lombre is often mistaken for a human child, but aside from that it also has the aesthetic features of a kappa: the dish on a kappa's head is called a sara and is the source of its power, while the turtle-like beak it is often depicted with can also be found in Lombre's design (when Lombre opens its mouth, it resembles a Mexican with a mustache, too). However, there is nothing much to say about Lombre's Pokédex entries, except for the fact that the film that covers its body is unpleasant to touch and that it is a mischief-maker. When it spots anglers, it tugs on their fishing lines from beneath the surface to interfere and enjoys their consternation, and it even pops out of rivers to startle people. Naughty, naughty Lombre.

Even in the anime Ludicolo has a Mexican Trainer.

The Mexican aspects of this evolutionary line's designs become especially apparent when Lombre evolves into Ludicolo by use of a Water Stone: its headgear now looks more like a traditional sombrero, complete with a pointed crown shaped like a pineapple, while its body seems to be draped in a zigzag-patterned poncho. As if that wasn't enough already, all the cells in Ludicolo's body become stimulated when it hears children singing on hiking outings or just festive music in general, and it will break into a dance as it becomes more energetic and active, making it more powerful. All this certainly makes most people associate Ludicolo with a stereotypical Mexican dancer. However, Japan is a rather homogeneous country: 98% of the population is of Japanese descent and their knowledge of or experience with foreign people is practically nonexistent, so it could very well be that Nintendo and Game Freak were trying to create Pokémon with aesthetics referring to the Mexican culture and it didn't occur to them that said aesthetics are actually regarded as racial stereotypes. The same thing happened with Jynx, who looked evidently African in its older official art with its black skin and thick pink lips. The Story of Little Black Sambo is still considered a classic in Japan and merchandise hereof is still being sold like hotcakes, including things like palm tree kits, figurines, coffee mugs, school accessories and even fruit. It's not exactly what Jynx is based on, but I don't think it is a coincidence that it had a black skin before it was changed to purple due to controversy, even though it wasn't created with bad intentions.

Ludicolo (right) performing some exotic dance with Roserade (left) and Sceptile
(middle), playing the bongo drums in the meantime. 

I reckon the creation of Lombre and Ludicolo didn't go any differently, although it doesn't help that the suffix -colo might be an anagram of loco, Spanish for 'crazy', or may be a reference to the Spanish word for 'ridiculous', ridículo. Additionally, 'ludic' is an adjective you use when you refer to someone who is aimlessly playful (Ludicolo is also classified as the 'Carefree Pokémon') and Ludicolo's name might even refer to the word 'ludicrous', which means something is absurd or laughable. For Nintendo and Game Freak it's probably just a serious attempt to create a pocket monster, but to many people, Ludicolo being a laughably crazy Mexican dancer will have a negative connotation. I'm not particularly bothered by Pokémon clearly based on certain ethnicities, especially since I believe they affirm that Pokémon is meant to be universally recognizable. Since Gen. V, the regions in the core series games have started to be inspired by areas outside of Japan as well: Unova was based on New York City, Kalos was clearly based on France and the Alola region in the upcoming Sun and Moon games is supposed to be an adaptation of Hawaii. Still, I think Game Freak should exercise caution when it comes to applying certain stereotypical features to certain Pokémon's designs, like Ludicolo. At least it can still say it is based on a kappa, as its respective Japanese, German, Korean and Chinese names of Runpappa (ルンパッパ), Kappalores, Ropapa (로파파) and Lètiānhétóng (樂天河童) suggest - lètiān and hétóng mean 'happy-go-lucky' and kappa, respectively, so its Chinese name literally means 'happy kappa', which is cute.

A pretty cool drawing of a shiny Ludicolo.

How does this platypus duck thing hold up in the games, though? Well, while its base stat total of 480 isn't anything crazy, you'll be able to work with it. Its mediocre base 70 defense and excellent base 100 special defense are backed up by its more-than-decent base 80 HP, which makes it a moderately bulky Pokémon all around. What's more, its base 90 special attack can even be used to sweep, especially in the rain. You see, Ludicolo has access to the Swift Swim ability, which doubles its speed when it's raining, so you can set up Rain Dance and pretty much execute a late-game sweep with Hydro Pump. Because its speed is already doubled due to Rain Dance, a Modest nature and a Life Orb as Ludicolo's held item are recommended. So is a complete moveset, by the way, so give it Ice Beam and Giga Drain as a finishing touch. You can even let another Pokémon set up the rain for Ludicolo and replace Rain Dance with Focus Blast in order to have some extra type coverage, although this is optional. There's a Swords Dance set mentioned on Smogon, but due to Ludicolo's mediocre base 70 attack I don't recommend running it, unless you want to catch your opponent off guard. A Waterfall in the rain still hurts, of course, but Hydro Pump - or even Surf if you want a more accurate move - hits much harder, not to mention moves like Giga Drain and Ice Beam are more useful or hit harder than their physical counterparts Seed Bomb and Ice Punch. I mean, Giga Drain is Ludicolo's only means of recovery, except when you let it hold the Leftovers, which honestly works much better in conjunction with its second ability called Rain Dish.

Ludicolo playing in a pond with Ducklett (in the sombrero on Ludicolo's head),
Surskit (on the water), Lotad (in the water), and Goldeen and Poliwag, who can
vaguely be seen underwater.

Ludicolo is an interesting Pokémon. So far, it and its pre-evolutions are the only water/grass dual-types in the Pokémon games, unless Pokémon Sun and Moon will have some pleasant surprises in store for us (THIRTEEN MORE DAYS UNTIL I CAN FINALLY PLAY THESE GAMES I'M SO HYPED AAAAHHHHH!!!). Ludicolo is a comical yet surprisingly useful Pokémon and I really like it, so I'm giving it a 4.5-star rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#265 - #269: Wurmple, Silcoon, Beautifly, Cascoon & Dustox

Two Wurmple and their brached evolution lines.

At first sight, Wurmple looks like a pretty unexciting Pokémon. Its design is based on nothing in particular, really, and it seems that it is nothing but your average caterpillar or larva. The fact that it spews some kind of silk that becomes gooey when exposed to the air makes me think of certain aspects of the silkworm, a worm particularly exploited for the fabric production of silk. While in some languages the adult form is referred to as a butterfly (the Dutch word zijdevlinder literally means 'silk butterfly'), it is actually a moth, which may be the reason why Wurmple can go two different ways when it evolves: it can change into either Silcoon or Cascoon, who then evolve into Beautifly and Dustox, respectively. What Wurmple is gonna evolve into actually depends on its personality value, which cannot be influenced or seen by the player, and thus it remains unknown whether it will become a Silcoon or Cascoon until it hits level 7. It's essentially random, so it's better to just catch a Silcoon or Cascoon in Petalburg Woods right away and save yourself the frustration of Wurmple evolving into the wrong goddamn thing. Silcoon and Cascoon share the exact same type, movepool, ability, body style, EV yield and base stat distribution, making them nearly identical, but they occupy two different slots in the National Pokédex nonetheless.

Beautifly (left) chillin' with Vivillon (middle) and Butterfree
(right). 

A silkworm encases itself in its own silk when it enters its pupal stage, and that is exactly what Silcoon is based on. Its official art shows spikes on it, but they're actually strands of silk with which Silcoon attaches itself to tree branches, where it quietly and motionlessly hangs while it awaits evolution. It was thought to endure severe hunger and thirst while waiting to evolve, but it is now known that it slakes its thirst by drinking rainwater and dew that collect on its silk. But as is the case with so many cocoon Pokémon its evolution comes fairly early on, and when it comes... Oh boy, brace yourselves, because there's nothing more terrifying than a territorial butterfly. Beautifly may be pretty, but it is an agressive Pokémon that will jab at foes with its long and curled proboscis if it is disturbed while collecting pollen, its favorite meal. However, as its Japanese name Agehunt (アゲハント) and Mandarin Chinese name Shòulièfèngdié (狩獵鳳蝶) suggest - shòuliè means 'to hunt' - Beautifly is also a hunter that will use its proboscis to drain body fluids from its prey (plus, agehachō and fèngdié both mean 'swallowtail butterfly', which is obviously the inspiration for Beautifly's design). Unfortunately, it is not so savage in-game, as its base stat total is a mere 395. Its base 100 special attack is actually very good, but Beautifly is awfully frail and isn't all that fast either. That's why the move Quiver Dance is a staple in any of Beautifly's movesets, because it raises its special attack, special defense and speed by one stage each when used. The rest of the slots can be filled with Bug Buzz and two other coverage moves. Air Cutter is STAB due to Beautifly's secondary flying type, but it isn't very powerful, so I'd go with Psychic and either Giga Drain or Energy Ball.

Also, should you want to Beautifly it competitively, which is risky as hell, a Timid or Modest nature and a Focus Sash are must-haves. A Timid nature gives it a slight boost to its speed while a Modest nature slightly raises its special attack, and a Focus Sash leaves it at 1 HP when it is attacked at full health and the attack would have knocked it out otherwise. It's a one-time use item, so be careful with it.

Dustox (below), Volcarona (right), Venomoth (top left) and
Mothim (bottom left) all hanging on to a Lampent, even though
it's a myth that moths are attracted to light.

And then we have Cascoon, who hides underneath leaves and inside the gaps of tree branches rather than hanging from them like Silcoon does. It is a grudge-bearing cocoon that will never forget the pain it endures during battles and seeks to get payback upon evolution, even though its silky cask is hard enough to endure attacks. You better hide, then, because you don't want to get chased by a 3'11"-tall moth. Dustox's name is apparent in the fact that its disc-shaped wings contain a noxious dust that, according to the Pokédex, will "even make pro westlers sick". Uhm... what? Since when is immunity to poison an aspect of professional wrestling? I know I don't know a whole lot about sports and the like (actually, I don't know shit about sports), but as far as I'm concerned, pro wrestlers are still human and thus as vulnerable to any poisonous substance as the rest of us. Weird. Anyway, Dustox is based on a Japanese moon moth, actias artemis, or the American luna moth, while its shiny form may be a reference to how moths mimic dead leaves. Dustox is nocturnal and apparently it is instinctively drawn to streetlights, even though actual moths aren't really attracted to light; instead, they navigate by it, operating under the assumption that the source is far away. In fact, the moon is their main source, although artificial lights - streetlights, for example - could mess up the internal navigation systems of certain animals, which is why it's understandable people would think moths are attracted to light when it will likely make them confused. Though that doesn't stop swarms of Dustox from wreaking havoc in towns and cities, where they strip the leaves off trees lining boulevards.

Again, nothing sounds more evil and savage than destroying beautiful trees that were so carefully planted ages ago, but Dustox's competitive utility is really nothing to write home about. Contrary to Beautifly, you'd do best to shy away from using Dustox entirely. Its base stat total is 385, which is only 10 less than Beautifly's, but whereas Beautifly got a boost of 10 base points in its special attack in Pokémon X and Y, Dustox got nothing. Its subpar base 60 HP doesn't make up for its mediocre defense and decent special defense and sure as heck won't prevent it from getting annihilated by a Flamethrower anyway. Its attack and special attack are both a base 50, which is just downright bad. They can't even be saved by Quiver Dance, whereas that move is actually Beautifly's saving grace if played well.

Family picture. Say 'cheese'!

Wurmple is interesting and unique in the sense that it is the only Pokémon with two branched evolutions that can evolve even further. While both second-stage evolutions don't look like much, I absolutely like Beautifly more than Dustox. I used both of them in a playthrough alongside each other and Beautifly was a real powerhouse for as long as it had a Quiver Dance up. Dustox, not so much; I boxed it after the fourth Gym and never looked back to it. I mean, there's an interesting concept behind Dustox's design, but even then I'm drawn towards Beautifly's design and flavor more than Dustox's. By and large, Beautifly is superior to Dustox in every aspect, even its shiny form; thus, I'm going to rate them separately, even though Beautifly's rating is higher by only one star.

Rating Beautifly: 4.5/5

Rating Dustox: 3.5/5

#263 - #264: Zigzagoon & Linoone

Zigzagoon in TCG art.

Only after the dark types Poochyena and Mightyena we encounter the generic rodent of this generation, Zigzagoon. It's basically just a curious-natured raccoon or badger Pokémon with zigzaggy fur and the tendency to restlessly maneuver between things that have caught its interest in a zigzag fashion, hence its name. Its lowest stats are its attack and special attack, so it's not very strong, which is the reason why it often plays dead during battles to fool opponents. Bulbapedia states that Zigzagoon is based on a tanuki, or a Japanese raccoon dog, but they're often thought of as mischievous but gullible and absent-minded creatures, being pictured as tricksters, masters of disguise and shapeshifters. Zigzagoon is none of these things; it doesn't have a mischievous nature and its battle style sure as heck doesn't make it gullible or absent-minded. Aesthetically, it looks like an ordinary raccoon rather than a raccoon dog, too, so sometimes Bulbapedia just sells us a bunch of raccoon shit. Even its foreign names don't refer to raccoon dogs in the slightest; the Japanese word araiguma, the French raton and the Korean neoguri all mean 'raccoon' - just 'raccoon' - while the Japanese anaguma and the German Dachs both mean 'badger'. No raccoon dog bullshit to be found here.

Linoone hugging a Quilava. So sweet.

Zigzagoon evolves into Linoone fairly early on, though, and it's upon evolution that the badger aspect starts to make sense. While its name still refers to it being based on a raccoon, Linoone looks more like badger than Zigzagoon does, and it seems that weasel-like creatures such as the stripe polecat may have been the inspiration for Linoone's design as well. Linoone is faster than Zigzagoon, being able to run 60 miles p/h in a straight line. It has to stop before it can take a turn and due to that it often fails to catch prey. Again, Bulbapedia refers to a couple of legends that speak of weasel-like creatures, especially the ramidreju in Cantabrian mythology (Cantabria is a historical community located in the north of Spain) due to this creature's desire for gold and Linoone's obsession with round obects, but even these seem a little unconvincing. Zigzagoon and Linoone are nothing but your average, ordinary early-game rodents, and not even good ones at that when you compare them to the generic rodents of other generations. Raticate's hidden ability is Guts and it has recently even received a brand new Alola Forme set to appear in Pokémon Sun and Moon, which will drop in a few weeks; Furret is slightly bulkier and stronger than Linoone and is much, much more adorable; Bibarel may very well be one of the most disliked Pokémon out there, but its access to the Simple ability and the move Curse may make it a force to be reckoned with; (let's not address Watchog's competitive utility here); and Diggersby has acces to Huge Power as one of its abilities, along with STAB Earthquake, which is easily one of the most popular moves in the games.

Linoone locked in an embrace with Furret. And yes, I chose this
image mainly because it involves Furret. Any opportunity to
post an image with a Furret in it is a good opportunity, dammit!

And to add insult to injury, Smogon doesn't even provide any X and Y movesets for Linoone (or Gen VI in general). With a little thinking you could come up with a moveset yourself, but the only viable Linoone is one you evolved from a Zigzagoon with Extreme Speed obtained in Ruby and/or Sapphire or one you obtained from the Jump Festa event in Japan or the World Championships in Korea, which were both held in 2015. You'll have to pray it has an Adamant nature so you can make maximum use of Belly Drum, which is a move that maximizes its attack stat in exchange for half of its HP and works best when Linoone is holding a Sitrus Berry to gain back some health. It's a risky tactic and may not always work, but Extreme Speed allows Linoone to sweep pretty much everything but ghost-, rock- and steel-type Pokémon after a Belly Drum boost. As for the two remaining moveslots, Linoone does have a decent physical movepool: it has access to some nice moves like Play Rough, Seed Bomb, Shadow Claw, Gunk Shot, Iron Tail and even STAB Last Resort, which hits fucking hard after a Belly Drum boost but can only be selected after all other moves have been used.

Linoone is... alright, I guess? I'm pretty neutral towards it, to be honest, but I don't hate it by any means. It'll get a passing grade from me, if only because its capacity of learning handy field moves - including Surf, mind you - makes it a perfect HM slave. I'm sorry I don't have anything more exciting or spooky to review for Halloween, but I'm reviewing all Pokémon in numerical order and it was Linoone's turn today. By the way, we don't celebrate Halloween in the Netherlands, so I honestly couldn't care less. I just thought I'd mention it because it's all over my goddamn Twitter timeline. Jesus fucking Christ.

Rating: 3/5

#261 - #262: Poochyena & Mightyena

Huh, interesting. New generations traditionally kick off with the starter Pokémon - with the notable exception of Gen. V, which started off with Victini instead - and after them you'll usually find the generic bird, bug or rodent. Not in Hoenn's case, in which the first Pokémon in the Pokédex after the starters are dark-type canine-like Pokémon.

Poochyena (front) in the anime, with a couple of Mightyena in
the background.

And I specifically say canine-like, because Poochyena and its evolution Mightyena seem to be based on hyenas, which are carnivorous animals that belong to the suborder of feliformia or feloidea and are phylogenetically closer to felines and viverrids than to canines (in contrast, the counterpart of feliformia is caniformia or canoidea). However, hyenas are often mistakenly thought to be canine, which isn't all that surprising if you think about it: behaviorally and morphologically they are similar to canines in several facets, although certain behavioral aspects such as grooming, mating and parenting are consistent with the behavior of other feliforms. It's a little of a gray area, and there is something to be said for the pro-canine people as well as the pro-feline camp. At the end of the day, Poochyena and Mightyena are designed to look more canine ('pooch' is even slang for 'dog'), and it is possible that they're also based on a couple of canine creatures such as wolves. Poochyena might look like your average cute little doggie, but it tries to indimidate its foes by making its bushy tail bristle out and is a tenacious and obnoxious little bastard who will bite anything it sees moving and chases after its prey until they become exhausted. Often enough the victim will strike back, which causes Poochyena to turn tail and make a run for it, the cowardly little shit.

Such lovely fan art of Mightyena and Arcanine sharing a stick.

But this persistent bullying becomes coordinated teamwork when Poochyena evolves. Mightyena live in packs and a member of such a pack will follow the orders of its leader as it chases down prey. The only thing that doesn't make a whole lot of sense is that it starts giving off obvious signals when it is about to attack, like flattening its body and even growling deeply, but wouldn't the prey hear you and flee if you did that? I guess there would be other Mightyena at the ready to capture the fleeing prey should that happen, as it is a coordinated attack, after all, but it still doesn't make sense that a predator would let its prey known that it's nearby. Or maybe I'm dumb and luring the prey into fleeing in a certain direction is actual predatory behavior in real life, but it seems to me that a more stealthy approach with a couple of back-up pack members at the ready in case the prey tries to escape is a more effective way to hunt. But fuck me, right? Anyhow, Mightyena's savagery is nowhere to be found in the games, as its base stat total of only 420 doesn't lend itself to the creation of good competitive sets. Mightyena's best stat is its attack, at base 90, while its HP, defense, special defense and speed - 70, 70, 60 and 70, respectively - are mediocre at best. That's why it resides in Smogon's lowest tier possible for fully evolved Pokémon, PU. However, an Adamant nature in combination with the ability Moxie (raises its attack by one stage every time it knocks out an opponent), the held item Life Orb and the priority move Sucker Punch might(yena) make it a late-game sweeper in its respective tier. If you invest some time in breeding a Poochyena, it can learn some pretty nifty moves, too: it learns the elemental fangs as well as Iron Tail and the fairy-type move Play Rough, which is nice against fighting types that threaten it.

This artist perfectly managed to lay emphasis on Mightyena's hyenine features.

I've never been very fond of Poochyena, and that's for one reason and one reason only: I once encountered a shiny one on either Ruby or Sapphire (I forgot which one) early on in the game and accidentally knocked it out with a crit Scratch from my Torchic when I tried to weaken it. It's a good thing critical hits have been nerfed from Pokémon X and Y onwards, now dealing 1.5 times the normal damage instead of 2 times, but to this day I remain a little salty about it. Three years ago, I put Mightyena on number 36 in my list of favorite Pokémon, but that was merely based on its design, which has lost its appeal a little since then. Mightyena is still a very interesting dark type with characteristics that fit its type perfectly, but I have to hold back at least half a star - and maybe even more when time passes - from its final rating. At least for now, Mightyena may enjoy its excellent 4.5-star rating.

Rating: 4.5/5

#258 - #260: Mudkip, Marshtomp & Swampert

A part of the July 2014 issue of the Japanese manga magazine
CoroCoro Comic was made into a variation of an old Mudkip
meme. 

Goddamn, Mega Swampert is on steroids, I'm tellin' ya. Look at the motherfucker in the image on the right and tell me it's not swallowing anabolic substances. Mega Swampert looks like a bodybuilder whose muscles and veins are fit to burst, so it might be best for it to quit that synthetic crap. All jokes aside, though, the image on the right is an excerpt from the July 2014 issue of the Japanese manga magazine CoroCoro Comic, in which Mega Sceptile, Mega Diancie and Mega Swampert were revealed for Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. It was made into a variation of an old Mudkip meme called "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" (in correct English: "I heard you like Mudkip"), as Mudkip is Swampert's basic stage. The new phrase said, "I herd u liek MURDER", which was due to Mega Swampert's ridiculously bulky appearance. It didn't quite catch on, as the Mudkip meme had died off about two or three years previous, but at least it made me snigger a little. That's mainly because I knew the "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" meme existed, although I never quite understood it. Apparently it originated in 2005 with the DeviantArt group MudKipClub, an account founded as a place for users to share their love for Mudkip and its evolutions by submitting fan art of them. The owner of the community started posting the phrase "So I herd u like Mudkips" ('heard' probably unintentionally misspelled) on other users' comment walls as an invitation to join the MudKipClub community. The phrase catched on and other users started to post variations of it in comment sections on forums of sites like Fark and Reddit. The spelling of 'like' and 'Mudkips' - although it's more common for Pokémon names to stay the same in plural - slowly changed into 'liek' and 'Mudkipz', and by 2009 the latter two dominated as opposed to their 'original' spellings.

An adorable little Mudkip playing in the mud. 

It's curious that, of all Pokémon, Mudkip became a meme. I mean... it's cute and all, but if this "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" thing hadn't become a famous Internet meme, it would easily have been one of the most forgettable starter Pokémon. That's my opinion, anyway, and it's mostly based on the fact that Mudkip is supposed to be an axolotl, an animal that was already the inspiration for the design of Wooper. Mudkip does have some features that could resemble those of axolotls, but its classification as the 'Mud Fish Pokémon' might refer to gilled African lungfish. Additionally, its Japanese name Mizugorou (ミズゴロウ) contains the word mutsugorō and indicates - along with the English name of Mudkip - that this Pokémon is based on a mudskipper, while its German name Hydropi refers to the mudpuppy. It's unsurprising Mudkip keeps being compared to an axolotl though, as all above-mentioned critters have some of the features axolotls have as well. At least they're all a little slippery, I imagine. As far as Pokédex entries go, Mudkip can use the sensitive radar receptors on its headfin to determine changes in air and water currents and that's pretty much all there is to say about it.

Up: someone made a collage of Marshtomp's
disquieting Gen. VI sprite. Just what we needed,
right? Down: HELP, AN INVASION OF
MARSHTOMP! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Mudkip evolves into what is probably the most awkward middle stage of a starter Pokémon I have ever seen. Marshtomp looks both goofy and creepy, and for the most part I can attribute that to its unsettling eyes in combination with its wide mouth. Have you seen its frickin' Gen. VI sprite??? Swampert has the same eyes, but at least it looks a little more intimidating than Marshtomp, whereas the latter is supposed to be somewhat cute. Except it doesn't look cute to me, and I also don't like its design as a whole. As for its Pokédex entries, none actually stood out. Its has a thin, sticky film enveloping its body that enables it to live on land, but it likes to play in and moves faster through mud than actual water. It looks up mud pools when it becomes weak and dehydrated due to its skin drying out and wants to replenish its fluids. Eh. I'm sure mudskippers are called that way for a goddamn reason. Marshtomp's headfin does resemble a murmillo helmet, a helmet worn by a type of gladiator during the Roman Imperial age, and it might be evidence of Swampert's oncoming destructive abilities (note that Mudkip is already stronger than it looks, as it can smash rocks that are bigger than itself, and Mudkip is a mere 1'04"). Swampert, who can apparently be both bipedal and quadrupedal according to its game sprites, is where all the excitement is. Most of its Pokédex entries elaborate on what Mudkip's entries have told us, like Swampert's ability to sense the most subtle of changes and differences in the sounds of waves and tidal winds and its tremendous strength: it can move boulders weighing more than a ton, is capable of towing a gigantic ship while swimming, and propels through water faster than a jet ski. Swampert's vision is excellent, as it can see perfectly in even the murkiest bodies of water.

This piece of fan art perfectly demonstrates how badass
Swampert is.

Most of Swampert's flavor doesn't follow through in the games, though; it is quite slow, and Muddy Water still has terrible accuracy compared to Surf. Game Freak didn't lie about its power, though, as its base 110 attack stat is absolutely nothing to sneeze at. With base 100 HP and 90 defenses, it even has some considerable bulk behind it. which makes it more than viable as a Relaxed- or Impish-natured support Pokémon with moves like Stealth Rock, Roar and an attacking move or two rather than a powerhouse. Let it hold the Leftovers and it will endure the battle for quite some time. When you run a Careful or Sassy nature (both boost its special defense) you can run a Curse set, which allows Swampert to pump up its attack and defense and annihilate incoming foes. It becomes super fast as Mega Swampert, however, due to its excellent Swift Swim ability. If you set up the rain, this ability will activate and double Mega Swampert's speed stat, allowing it to sweep pretty much everything but grass types with its base 150 attack stat. All it needs is Rain Dance, Waterfall, Earthquake and Ice Punch, although it learns Hammer Arm, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Aqua Tail, Iron Tail and Power-Up Punch if you need any these moves. This Rain Dance strategy doesn't explicitly require a Jolly nature, so you can max out its attack stat by slapping an Adamant nature on it. Take note of this, though: an Impish nature on a regular Swampert doesn't work if you want to use the special-based Scald as support, and due to its speed, an Adamant nature on a regular Swampert is more effective if you want to go the offensive way.

Instead of getting carried away about how awesome Swampert is, I'm giving you a
heap of adorable Mudkipsies, because "I herd u liek Mudkipz". 

Swampert is amazing. I never used it in the days of Ruby and Sapphire, but I have gotten a newfound love for this slimy badass - or, more specifically, its Mega - since I used it a couple of times in Omega Ruby and realized this thing is just as good as the other Hoenn starters. Hoenn is by far not my favorite region and the Hoenn Pokémon aren't really my favorite, but I have to say the starters of this region are the absolute best, no exceptions. This is the first - and only - generation in which I'm giving all of the starters perfect ratings, and I don't regret it.

Rating: 5/5

#255 - #257: Torchic, Combusken & Blaziken

From an incredibly badass plant lizard we move on to... an oversized chicken. An awesome oversized chicken, that is.

Awww, our cute little chickie!

Of course, every oversized chicken starts off as a chick. Torchic is the perfectly adorable starter Pokémon, and like we can expect from a chick it follows its Trainer with an unsteady gait. It keeps a flame somewhere in its belly that causes it to feel warm when it is hugged, which - in combination with its own fluffy coat - will give its Trainer a warm feeling indeed. When Torchic is attacked, it will shoot fireballs with a temperature up to 1,800°F resulting from above-mentioned internal flame. It should be mentioned that Torchic's Japanese name is Achamo (アチャモ), which is derived from the shamo, a breed of chicken once bred and raised for cockfights. As Torchic evolves into Combusken, it gains the fighting type, which set the tone for Game Freak to create Gen. IV and Gen. V fire/fighting starters as well. Maybe they noticed Blaziken's overwhelming popularity and decided to build from there, but by the time Emboar was announced, everybody had come to hate new fire/fighting starters tremendously. I mean, you can pull off the same trick twice in a row, but three times? No. And let's be frank here: a skinny ape and a fat boar aren't quite as impressive as an oversized chicken that beats the crap out of everybody, right? (Yes, I know the phrase 'oversized chicken' has a negative connotation to it, but I don't mean it that way, I swear.)

Pretty cool fan art of Combusken, who seems to be sparring
with Braixen. 

But Torchic and its evolutions are not only based on the shamo chicken. There's a creature in Japanese mythology called the basan - or, alternatively, the basabasa or inuhōō - which is a fowl-like bird that resembles a large chicken and breathes a cold, ghostly fire. The only difference, of course, is that Torchic and its evolutions produce scorching hot flames... Anyway, let's continue with Combusken, a Pokémon that is so engrossed in training every day that its powerful legs can dish out up to ten kicks per second. Combusken is noisy while it fights, producing sharp cries that distract and intimidate its opponent and boost its own confidence and concentration. As a Blaziken, its legs have developed and muscled up so much that it can use techniques Combusken cannot, such as Blaze Kick and High Jump Kick. What's more, its legs are actually so powerful that they allow Blaziken to leap over 30-story buildings. However, not only its kicks are devastating; its punches are also very dangerous, and that's because of the white-hot flames that come out of its wrists, which burn more intensely the tougher the foe is and leave them scorched and blackened. Blaziken even has a Mega evolution, who hones the power of its kicks and even experiences a burning feeling from the friction of the surrounding atmosphere as it unleashes a flurry of savage kicks. As Mega Blaziken's body temperature increases, its power and speed continue to ramp up.

Blaziken as seen in Pokkén Tournament.

In that regard, the Speed Boost ability is quite fitting on (Mega) Blaziken, but when I take a look at its moves I'm surprised it didn't get Reckless. It's an ability that boosts the power of recoil moves by 20%, and moves like High Jump Kick, Brave Bird and Flare Blitz would greatly benefit from it. Speed Boost ain't bad though, and when a hidden ability Blaziken Mega-evolves, it retains that ability. That, in combination with a potential Swords Dance and Blaziken's formidable attacking stats, makes both Blaziken and its Mega form so incredibly powerful that they were bundled off to Smogon's Uber tier. Both can be used as mixed attackers, but they lean more towards a physical moveset, especially when you consider they have easy access to Swords Dance. Blaziken's physical movepool is also extensive to such an extent that a special moveset would be stretching it. I mean, you can run Overheat or Fire Blast instead of - or next to - Flare Blitz, just because the latter deals so much recoil damage to Blaziken, but aside from that a late-game Swords Dance sweep is very much preferable. Just note that you need to let Blaziken carry a Blazikenite when you want to Mega-evolve it, but that a Life Orb or Choice Band would suffice if you don't. And because you're running Speed Boost on Blaziken by default (ain't nobody want to use the Blaze ability; this ability fires up fire-type moves when Blaziken gets below 33% health, but it doesn't have the defenses to make good use of it), you can just slap an Adamant nature on it, no problem. You can even give it the move Protect, so you can get a free speed increase.

Amazing fan art of Mega Blaziken. Yes, the fire 'ribbons' on its wrist are part of
its design. 

Yup, Blaziken is a monster and a fan favorite, and the fact that it got a Mega before Sceptile and Swampert only supports that statement. I always ended up choosing either Treecko or Torchic as my Hoenn starter, just because I thought their final evos were awesome (they still are). Sceptile is still my favorite starter Pokémon ever, but I love Blaziken as well and I certainly think it deserves a perfect rating.

Next up is Swampert. Oh man, you gotta love the Hoenn starters!

Rating: 5/5