#324: Torkoal

Official art of Torkoal by none other than Ken Sugimori. 

Up next we have one of those unpopular low-tier Pokémon I personally don't have any problems with. Torkoal is a fire-type tortoise with mediocre stats and isn't used much in competitive play at all, but its flavor makes for a hilarious Pokémon all around. This Pokémon basically acts like a furnace or a kitchen stove, looking for coal in the mountains it lives in and then using this coal to fill up the red-colored, hollow spaces in its shell to burn it for energy. Torkoal burns more coal when it is preparing for battle, but when it is suddenly attacked, it belches thick black soot and flees the scene - which, by the way, makes me think Torkoal is a serious contributor to environmental pollution. The funniest part is the noise it makes when it blows out smoke from its nostrils and the top of its shell: it sounds like a locomotive horn. Huh. I hope the boogers stay in its nose, though. Anyway, Torkoal grows weaker when the fire burning within its shell dies down, but Pokémon Moon made the entire situation much more lurid by stating it will die instead and that Trainers who wish to raise it must always keep something flammable at hand. Then again, Sun and Moon made pretty much everything way more lurid, so I am under the impression that the sick motherfuckers at Nintendo and Game Freak just wanted to go all out by rewriting the Pokédex entries for old Pokémon and making them more sinister. Because (sarcasm alert!) the little kids won't end up with a trauma at all, y'know; they'll be totally fine!

A more realistic take on Torkoal. The only difference is that the
smoke emanating from its back and nostrils looks kind of noxious. 

Seriously, though, I am totally fine with these new personality traits; they're just fresh takes on the Pokémon we've come to be on very familar terms with. On top of that, Game Freak have given Torkoal a significant boost in Pokémon Sun and Moon: it now has access to the Drought ability, which conjures up the sun and subsequently boosts all of Torkoal's fire-type moves - and the opponent's as well, for that matter. However, I doubt many Pokémon can take a sun-boosted Eruption to the face, especially when it is used after Trick Room, which makes slower Pokémon go first and faster Pokémon go last. Torkoal can't learn it, so you'll need another Pokémon to set it up instead, but after this move is in effect, Torkoal can wreck house; with its base 20 speed, it should be slow enough to move first (I never thought I'd ever use these words in this precise order). With the correct IVs, EV distribution and nature - Quiet, of course! - and a Charcoal for it to hold, I'm sure Torkoal will prove to be useful to you, even though its special attack stat is 'only' a base 85. At least it has the coverage to assault many Pokémon that come its way: Eruption is now a staple in any Torkoal's moveset, whereas Heat Wave, Lava Plume and Flamethrower provide for great or decent enough STAB moves. It also learns Solar Beam, which normally requires a turn to charge up but is immediately carried out when the sun is up, while Sludge Bomb can be used against fairy-type Pokémon and Hidden Power Ice is quad effective against the likes of Salamence, Garchomp and Alolan Exeggutor, to name a few.

Don't beat your brains out about how to use a Torkoal with one of the other two abilities it might have, though. White Smoke prevents any stat reduction on Torkoal, but you can just switch out to another Pokémon when one of its stats becomes too low. Its hidden ability is Shell Armor, which prevents the opposing Pokémon to land a critical hit on the owner of that ability, but Torkoal can live a hit due to its excellent base 140 defense, anyway. It really needs the power from Drought, so I'd recommend going with that.

This image from the TCG gives a better view of the furnace-like shell on Torkoal's
back.

People who watch the anime may remember Ash's Torkoal, who decided to join Ash after he saved it from a couple of steel-type Pokémon (dammit, Torkoal, are you a fire type or what?). I stopped religiously watching the anime after the Johto saga, but I've seen quite a few Hoenn episodes and I don't remember this Torkoal at all. Maybe this Pokémon is somewhat forgettable, so it's a good thing it got some attention in the new games. Torkoal isn't special by any means, but in my opinion it isn't quite uninteresting, either. Four stars should do it, I reckon.

Rating: 4/5

#322 - #323: Numel & Camerupt

Y'know, I feel like Hoenn introduced too big a batch of Pokémon and that Gen. III is just a drag at the moment, even though I know full well I am not posting reviews at regular intervals and even took a month-long hiatus near the end of November 2016 so I could play Pokémon Sun and Moon and enjoy them to the fullest. Not that it has anything to do with today's Pokémon, but this sluggish pace is getting the better of me a bit and I want to review my favorite Pokémon already. This is not a complaint, really; I thoroughly enjoy writing articles like these, but I hope Gen. III comes to an end soon.

This Numel doesn't quite have the dumb look on its face, but I
didn't just want to post an image of its official art; that'd be boring.

Speaking of sluggish, today I'm going to discuss some Pokémon that aren't very fast-paced, either. Numel is a small quadruped most likely based on a dromedary camel, but with a stupid expession on its face that is often associated with cows. Located on its back is a volcano-like hump containing boiling magma of almost 2,200°F (how did anyone measure that, anyway?) that hardens and becomes heavier when it is cooled in water and makes Numel slow down (no shit, it has a quadruple weakness to this element because of its fire/ground typing). Numel is a surprisingly strong Pokémon who has served humans for years with its ability to carry heavy loads up to 220 pounds, but it is so dim-witted that it doesn't even notice when it is stuck - or struck, for that matter. But whereas Numel is dull-witted, Camerupt is prone to losing its temper quickly; when it is enraged, the two volcano-like bone structures on its back (yeah, those humps consist of transformed bone, not rock - Camerupt isn't a rock type, after all) erupt, spewing molten lava of almost 18,000°F, even though its Emerald, HGSS, B2W2 and X Pokédex entries mention that the volcanoes erupt violently every 10 years and that research is still carried out to find the cause of this occurrence.

Ahhh, what would Pokémon be without a little bit of inconsistency?

Maxie (left) and Courtney (right) chillin' on the back of his
Camerupt, while a little Numel is tugging at Tabitha's garment. 

Other than that, though, can Camerupt hold its own in the competitive scene? It has the same base stat total as Sharpedo, is Team Magma's Maxie's ace as opposed to Sharpedo being Team Aqua's Archie's ace, and like Sharpedo it was blessed with a Mega in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. In itself, Camerupt is very strong - it has base 100 attack and 105 special attack - and moderately bulky, although its defensive stats aren't really anything to write home about, either. The only real downside is its speed, so it doesn't even matter that it becomes even slower when it Mega-evolves, all in exchange for more power and bulk. It'll never hit first anyway, and you might need that attack stat (Mega Camerupt has 120 attack and 145 special attack all of a sudden), so you'd do best to run a Quiet nature - or a Brave nature if you want more physical power than special power. It is an excellent mixed attacker, as it's perfectly capable of running moves like Earthquake, Iron Head and Rock Slide alongside Fire Blast, Earth Power, Flamethrower, Lava Plume, Flash Cannon, Ancient Power and even Solar Beam (on a sun team); and on top of that, moves with additional effects are boosted by its ability Sheer Force. Want more of a tank? Invest in HP EVs and give it the moves Will-O-Wisp and Stealth Rock, so that it can burn foes and hurt opposing Pokémon a little - or a lot, depending on whether or not a foe has a rock-type weakness - every time they enter the battlefield, respectively. And regular Camerupt? This Pokémon resides in PU, the lowest of Smogon's competitive tiers for fully evolved Pokémon, but the strategy stays largely the same: use Camerupt as either a special attacker with a Life Orb or the Choice Specs as a held item - to boost its moves with - or a tank holding the Leftovers for a little bit of recovery every turn.

This is actually a nice piece of fan art of a Numel snuggling up
to Mega Camerupt. Keep in mind that this Mega Camerupt looks
different and more timid than the one in its official art by Ken
Sugimori.

As for my own opinion of Camerupt... I don't think it looks like a Bactrian camel exactly. Sure, the two humps on its back indicate that it is based on these animals, but camels have elongated necks and usually stand much higher on their feet than Camerupt does. If anything, this Pokémon looks much more bovine, with features specifically related to musk oxen, an animal with the same build and shaggy fur as Camerupt. The only difference is that the musk ox is an Arctic mammal, which Camerupt is obviously not, but maybe that was entirely intentional on Game Freak's part - even though I think I'm giving them way too much credit here. My main problem is Camerupt's Mega form, though. Whereas I mostly think the Mega of a certain Pokémon is a major improvement compared to its regular form, that is unfortunately not the case with Camerupt. Its Mega looks so... off. Its shaggy fur gives its body a much too corpulent look, the legs are too short in proportion to its body, and I actually kinda dislike that stupid grin on its face. Game Freak made its design look more goofy, awkward and, most of all, evil. It looks like it's up to no good, and that's not what Mega Camerupt is about; it has an explosive personality and a chronically short temper, which is why the full-fledged volcano on its back (which is actually the only cool part of its design) constantly erupts, but that's about it. I'll gladly give Camerupt four stars, but that's excluding the Mega. Mega evolution is optional, so it is not required to let Camerupt Mea-evolve, and should you decide to use one after all, it reverts back to what it was after the battle, anyway.

P.S.: Can somebody explain to me what purpose those blue rings on the side of Camerupt's body serve? They don't fit its design at all...

Rating: 4/5

#320 - #321: Wailmer & Wailord

Damn. It's not often I'm putting out reviews three days in a row, so don't get too used to this. It's just that I'm living in one of the southern provinces of the Netherlands, where they're celebrating this idiotic annual thing called carnaval - 'our' version of events before Lent and generally speaking just a lame excuse for dumb people to dress up Halloween style, attend stupid float parades and get drunk, all while singing terrible and cringeworthy carnaval songs. Most people celebrating it aren't even devout Christians in the first place; for them it's just a reason to party hard five days in a fucking row. Me? I'm frantically trying to avoid it until it comes to an end tomorrow, so that's why I'm hiding in my cave writing reviews about video game monsters instead of socializing. I have no life whatsoever.

Brendan traveling underwater on a Wailmer. 

Well, at least I can catch up a little now and we've bumped into one of my favorite Hoenn Pokémon sooner than I had expected. I guess that's the case because Wailmer can be caught with a Good Rod - which you can get from a Fisherman on the immediately accessible part of Route 118 next to Mauville City - fairly early on in your Ruby/Sapphire playthrough. Honestly, I don't even care all that much about Wailmer; it's a perfectly round whale with a perfectly stupid grin on its face. The teeth aren't even real teeth; they're baleen (or whalebone) plates and serve as a filter-feeder system inside the mouth of baleen whales. The system works by a whale opening its mouth underwater and taking in water, after which the whale pushes the water out and animals such as krill and plankton are filtered by the baleen and remain as a food source for the whale. That doesn't seem to be working for Wailmer at all, because this Pokémon likes to store seawater in its body and the more water filling it, the higher it can bounce. You'd think it'd bounce better when it doesn't have so much water in its body, because Wailmer is taller than an average human being and therefore relatively heavy (almost 287 pounds), but this doesn't seem to be the case at all. It likes to be a bouncing ball, too, because it is often found on beaches playing with other people and even startling them by suddenly spouting water from its nostrils slash blowholes - I'm not even sure which one it is, because all kinds of sources, including its official Pokédex entries, seem to use these two interchangably.

Gym Leader Marlon's Wailord, with Marlon and Ash standing
right on top of it.

Whereas Wailmer likes to be a jerk, though, Wailord likes to entertain people by leaping out of the water, thereby creating gigantic and breathtaking pillars of water. It does so when it searches for food and chases it, which it does in groups called pods, and one specimen can gulp down an entire school of Wishiwashi whole. Well, even the biggest Pokémon of all has to eat, right? That's right, at an enormous 47'07", Wailord has been the tallest Pokémon since it was introduced in Gen. III. Up to this day, not a single Pokémon came even remotely close to Wailord; at a height of 35'09", Alolan Exeggutor made a brave attempt this generation, exceeding Mega Rayquaza's height (35'05") by only a small margin. If you really want to see an image for scale, take a look at the image directly above and argue with me that Wailord isn't huge. I dare you. Surprisingly enough, this big boy is relatively light, weighing 'only' 877 pounds, which is much less than certain other Pokémon that aren't quite as tall as Wailord. Then again, there's no way Wailord are taller or heavier than the animals it was inspired by, blue whales - the largest and heaviest known animals to ever exist on this planet. That would have been way too complicated. Just saying.

Also, I shouldn't have expected Wailord to be so heavy, after all, as it is known as the 'Float Whale Pokémon'. That does not indicate that it's a heavyweight at all, right? In fact, it only enhances the thought that Wailord may be based on a blimp of some sort, or maybe a torpedo (man, Game Freak had a thing with torpedoes in Gen. III; this is the second Pokémon in a row that is based or may be based on such a thing).

Wailord swallowing ocean water like it's nobody's business.
This image contains TCG art from the Diamond and Pearl era.

But can this blimp (torpedo?) hold its own in the competitive scene? Well... not exactly. Despite its base stat total of 500, of which 170 go to its HP, it sits in Smogon's PU tier, the lowest tier with fully evolved Pokémon. That massive HP stat seems nice, but its defenses are a base 45 each and don't really complement it. On top of that, Wailord is quite slow and its attacking stats are 'only' a base 90 each, which isn't very strong. I used a physical-based Wailord in my Omega Ruby playthrough myself - Waterfall, Bounce, Heavy Slam and Earthquake proved to be as effective a moveset as any - but that won't quite cut it here. It's best to let it set up an Aqua Ring (very effective when Wailord is holding the Leftovers), after which it can PP-stall by setting up a Substitute or preventing any damage at all by using Protect. Further helping your tactic of PP-stalling is Wailord's hidden ability Pressure, which deducts one additional PP every time Wailord is targeted by the foe. Water Veil prevents burns, which isn't necessary, and Oblivious prevents confusion, which is even less necessary, so Pressure really is the best ability to go for. The only thing is the EV spread. It's up to you whether you want to max out Wailord's HP, but as its HP is massive already and its defenses do need quite the boost, I'd max out its defense and special defense stats - a Bold or Calm nature would go really well with that - and put the remaining four EVs in special attack so that it can hit slightly harder with Scald. This move may inflict a burn on the foe, by the way, further whittling it down, and it's Wailord's main source of direct damage, so definitely keep it around.

Wailord as seen in Super Smash Bros.

I didn't come to love Wailord until I used one in my before-mentioned Omega Ruby playthrough, and I still don't understand why I didn't like it before. It has a simple but effective design and flavor, and the fact that it is still the biggest Pokémon in existence actually makes a lot of sense and really adds up to its whole concept. Game Freak didn't go overboard with this one - in fact, they even toned it down for once. And that's a positive thing, I can tell you that much.

Rating: 5/5

#318 - #319: Carvanha & Sharpedo

Nice fan art of Carvanha. The only thing that's off is the Mario
star on its belly, which really should be a four-pointed star... with
no eyes whatsoever. 

Today we have a couple of more interesting Pokémon than last time, that's for sure. Carvanha is - surprise! - based on a piranha (or piraña, if you will) and, as expected from a fish with teeth, it has strongly developed jaws that can even chew through solid steel and rip up boat hulls. It even actively attacks boats and ships in swarms and lets them sink when they're entering its territory, and they rush to attack en masse if they scent the faintest trace of blood, but it turns suddenly timid and cowardly when it's on its own.

Sure thing, Carvanha. Sure thing.

One curious thing about Carvanha is that it seems to be a freshwater fish rather than a saltwater fish, but I honestly shouldn't be so surprised in the first place, because I actually know that piranhas are freshwater fish inabiting rivers throughout South America. It's probably the fact that Carvanha, a piranha Pokémon, evolves into Sharpedo, a shark Pokémon. And sharks are saltwater fish, as dozens of different species can in fact be found in oceans throughout the globe. In Pokémon anything is possible; I mean, we've had a swine turning into a mammoth, a remora fish turning into an octopus, a waterstrider turning into a mosquito of some sort and a gull turning into a pelican (whoever came up with that should be fired by Game Freak immediately)... so why not a piranha turning into a shark, right? At least it sounds pretty badass, doesn't it?

Archie and his Sharpedo, his signature Pokémon.

Well... yeah? I mean, Sharpedo looks kinda rad, but its flat rear - even though I know full well that Sharpedo's general body shape is that of a torpedo - looks kind of weird, as if its nonexistent tail was cut off abruptly. The main thing I like about Sharpedo is that it has an incredibly battered appearance, with notches cut into its dorsal and pelvic fins and a couple of yellow markings that are supposed to represent scars. I'm not surprised it looks like that, as it is a brutal Pokémon that can chew through iron and steel and destroy supertankers, tearing them into pieces. As such, it is known as the "Bully of the Sea" - or "Gangs of the Sea" when multiple Sharpedo have flocked together - and it is highly feared among mariners. But if that's what seamen are truly afraid of, it is time for them to piss their pants, because Sharpedo has a Mega evolution that looks much scarier than its regular form: its jaws look terrifying, it has yellow markings all over its body now, and it has three pairs of retractable sawblades on its snout that are actually transformed fangs. On top of that, it can now exceed 125 miles per hour with explosive propulsion, compared to the 75 to 80 miles regular Sharpedo can reach by jetting seawater out of its backside.

Official art of Mega Sharpedo, created by Ken Sugimori.

But can Sharpedo live up to its reputation in the competitive scene? Absolutely. It's incredibly frail, but it hits hard and it is relatively fast, especially after a boost from its hidden ability Speed Boost. Rough Skin, its regular ability, damages any foe that makes direct contact with Sharpedo, but it only works when you're feeling super confident and want to run it in combination with a Rocky Helmet for Sharpedo to hold. (Fun fact: Sharpedo's Japanese name is Samehader (サメハダー) and is derived from same, meaning 'shark', and hada-are, which means 'rough skin'. Additionally, samehada means 'shark skin' and Sharpedo's Japanese name might be a corruption of that as well.) It is more of a hit-and-run Pokémon, to be honest, and you'd do better to run Speed Boost in order for you to click Protect and get a free... well, speed boost. After that you can Mega-evolve your Sharpedo and perform a (late-game) sweep with moves like Crunch, Waterfall and Psychic Fangs, although it has access to more coverage moves like Ice Fang, Rock Tomb, Earthquake and Poison Jab. Mega Sharpedo standardly has the ability Strong Jaw, which increases the power of biting moves such as Crunch, Ice Fang and Psychic Fangs and allows it to hit even harder than any other Pokémon normally would. Because of the boost from its hidden ability, Sharpedo can run an Adamant nature over a Jolly one for maximum damage output, too.

A realistic take on Sharpedo.

While Sharpedo is not a favorite of mine, I cannot deny that this Pokémon - its Mega in particular - is pretty dope. I wish I could say its water/dark typing is unique, but Crawdaunt is a Pokémon with the exact same typing as Sharpedo that was introduced in the very same generation (I will discuss Corphish and Crawdaunt probably later next month or early April), and I don't think Sharpedo is any more competitively viable than Crawdaunt, either. Just because of plain badassery, Sharpedo gets a 4.5-star rating, just half a star short of a perfect rating. If only its flat rear didn't make me feel this Pokémon is missing something...

Rating: 4.5/5

#316 - #317: Gulpin & Swalot

I apologize for the lack of posts lately, but I was in the process of moving out and I only now have time to write another entry for this blog.

A drooling Gulpin. I wanna bet you should not touch its saliva.

So next up on my list are Gulpin and Swalot, and I have to say they aren't anything special. As Gulpin is a giant green sac, it is probably based on a gallbladder, this green sac-like organ we have to store gastric acid; and since its stomach comprises most of its body, it has the ability to swallow anything of its own size whole. That's nasty. Even nastier is the fact that vile, overpowering gases are expelled from Gulpin's body when its stomach is digesting its food. So it's basically a burping gallbladder with a humongous stomach creating special enzymes that allows it to dissolve anything Gulpin swallows. I'm sorry, Game Freak, but you won't win me over with such stomach-churning antics, if you'll excuse the pun. Unfortunately, Swalot's flavor (no pun intended this time) doesn't differ much from Gulpin's; it's bigger and it's able to swallow bigger things, but its stomach is as digestive as Gulpin's - containing the very same special enzymes with the very same dissolving qualities - and the poison it secretes from its pores (toxic sweat?) to capture living prey with is probably as poisonous as the gases Gulpin emits when its food is being digested. The only thing Swalot can do is expand or contract its body at will so that it can swallow big things, which doesn't surprise me from a creature that is mostly composed of a stomach in the first place.

If you can't find any purpose to Swalot, you can always
use the thing as a beanbag, as May is doing here. 

But can this poisonous gland do anything more than just be disgusting? Well, yes. With base 100 HP and base 83 defenses it is actually kind of a bulky Pokémon in the competitive metagame, but despite the fact that Swalot's attacking stats are somewhat subpar, it is often used as a bulky offensive Pokémon. While a Quiet nature increases its special attack a little (but limits its speed, which doesn't matter because it's slow anyway and you need its attack stat), an Assault Vest boosts its special defense by 50% instantly and the Sticky Hold ability allows it to hold onto its item when the opponent tries to get rid of it, its moveset is actually a mix of special and physical attacks: for STAB you can use either Sludge Bomb or Sludge Wave (the latter is stronger, but Sludge Bomb has a higher chance of poisoning the foe), while it has access to some neat type coverage moves like Giga Drain (its only reliable way of recovery), Ice Beam, Shadow Ball, Seed Bomb, the elemental punches and Earthquake, the latter being physical and the reason why you should run a Quiet nature over a Modest one. However, I recommend using a Swalot with either a Bold or a Calm nature, rocking the Leftovers and a moveset of mostly support moves. The Toxic/Protect combo is a classic stalling tactic, Pain Split is nice to have when Swalot runs out of HP and the opposing Pokémon still has plenty of HP left, and Sludge Bomb - or, yet again, Sludge Wave - is a good move to let Swalot attack with. If you'd rather put the foe to sleep so you can safely switch out to another Pokémon that can handle it, Yawn may be a good option instead of Protect. Steer away from any moves that raise its defenses (such as Stockpile, Amnesia and Acid Armor), as they seem nice but won't make much of a difference in Swalot's case.

Just a Swalot. Nothing interesting to see here.

While I'm not exactly a fan of this line, I don't hate or dislike Gulpin and Swalot in any way. It's a nice concept Game Freak came up with for these Pokémon, but their execution is just so... bland. I know I always say that a plain design can be very effective on a Pokémon (less is more, Persian is a perfect example of that), but right now I wish there was more to Gulpin and Swalot. I would like to explain it to you guys, but I don't think I really have an explanation. However, Swalot isn't completely useless and very narrowly escapes a bad rating because it's purple.

P.S.: What's with the weird whiskers, anyway?

Rating: 3/5

#406, #315, #407: Budew, Roselia & Roserade

Budew in a meadow among the flowers, where it probably feels
perfectly at home.

Readers who have been around for a while probably already know that I'm not that big on baby Pokémon, as I think they are useless and redundant. Pichu was pretty much the only useful one, basically because you could breed Volt Tackle onto it, but even that method can be dumped into the darkest abyss now: there is an NPC in Pokémon Sun and Moon that teaches Volt Tackle to any Pikachu when you show her one. That way, you can breed a Pichu without worrying about attaching a Light Ball to one of the parents and just teach Pikachu Volt Tackle by meeting up with this NPC afterwards. It's a way to make baby Pokémon more redundant, that's for sure. On that note, Budew is probably one of the most insignificant baby Pokémon to have ever been introduced, along with Wynaut. It's a Pokémon based on a rose bud, keeping its buds closed during winter while it endures the cold and opening them during spring to scatter toxic pollen that induces harsh sneezing and runny noses. Thanks, buddy, so you're the one contributing to my mild case of hay fever and actually making it worse to some extent. That's great. It's literally all I can say about Budew, because there's not an interesting thing that can redeem the blandness of its design and flavor.

Roselia.

One generation earlier, though, we had plenty of time to make ourselves familiar with Roselia, Budew's evolution as of Gen. IV and formerly a stand-alone Pokémon. It has the generic grass/poison typing, which seems like a leftover from Game Freak tendency to slap the poison type onto any grass-type Pokémon that looked even remotely venomous. To this day, Bulbasaur remains the only unevolved starter Pokémon being a dual type - other than Rowlet, that is - but it's a mystery to me why it is part poison, because nothing in its and its evolutions' Pokédex entries indicates that they are poisonous; and Oddish is just a clump of weeds that has no business being a poison type in the first place. All these Pokémon do is plant seeds and give off sweet fragrances, just like Roselia does when it's at its healthiest: the healthier it is, the more pleasant its flowers' aromas are. Roselia, however, is most certainly poisonous, as it uses different poisons emitted from the thorns between the flowers on each arm when it attacks and even the thorns on its head contain a vicious toxin. People often try to pick the flowers on its arms, but Roselia makes short shrift of them by shooting sharp and toxic thorns as projectiles. Not that its movepool shows any evidence that Roselia can actually do that, as it doesn't learn anything like Spike Cannon or Pin Missile.

Shiny Roselia is one of my favorite shinies. 

And while it is said that Roselia that drink nutritionally rich springwater may have unusually colored flowers when they bloom, this is not exactly seen in the game mechanics, because all Roselia have a red rose on their right arms and a blue rose on their left arms, all in the same shade. And if the Dex is talking about shiny Roselia: that is not a trait exclusive to this Pokémon, as other Pokémon can be shiny as well without having to drink nutritious mineral water. However, it has to be said that Roselia has a very pretty shiny. The purple and black roses get me every time; the purple one because purple is my favorite color and the black one because it looks so ominous, almost dead, while both colors emphasize Roselia's venomous features very well in my opinion.

As Roserade is a poison type, it should be more
than capable to stand in sludge unharmed.

Roselia wasn't - and still isn't - any good in battles though, except in a regular playthrough. Its base 100 special attack could knock out Pokémon just fine, but its base 65 speed renders it quite slow and its defenses aren't all that, either, especially when you consider that its HP is quite terrible. Fortunately, Roselia hasn't only gotten a pre-evolution in Gen. IV, but also a full-fledged evolution called Roserade. While the evolution method to change Budew into Roselia is needlessly complicated - you have to evolve it in bright daylight at max happiness - exposure to a Shiny Stone is enough to let Roselia evolve into Roserade. While the roses on its arms look a bit strange now, I like its appearance as a whole better than Roselia's: the masquerade attire - mask, cape and bangle - and interesting hairdo give it an elegant look. But don't be deceived, because this Pokémon is actually more dangerous than Roselia. You remember that Roselia's aromas are sweeter the healthier it is? Well, Roserade's fragrances are sweeter the more toxic its poison is, which means that the before-mentioned fragrances will probably not be very healthy for you. Also, Roserade pretty much likes to be a cheater, as it uses hidden whips lined with poisonous thorns to attack with. Each of Roserade's hands contains different toxins, but both hands can jab with near-fatal power - due to said toxins, obviously, not because it has so much physical force.

Roserade as seen in the anime.

On the contrary, its base 125 special attack is where it's at, and at a solid 105 its special defense ain't bad, either. Specially defensive Roserade with a Calm nature and support moves aren't uncommon, and most of the time they're sporting support moves like Synthesis and Toxic Spikes and two attacking moves - usually Giga Drain and Sludge Bomb. Roserade can be an all-out attacker holding the Choice Specs or a Life Orb (with a Timid or Modest nature) and sporting moves like Energy Ball (alternatives are Giga Drain, Leaf Storm and Petal Dance), Dazzling Gleam, Sludge Bomb, Extrasensory and Shadow Ball, but it can also be a bulky attacker. How? Well, let it hold an Assault Vest, which won't enable Roserade to use support/status moves but does increase its special defense by 50% instantly. And when it comes to abilities, Roserade has access to an amazing ability called Technician, which increases the power of moves with a base power of 60 or less by 50%. Unfortunately, Roserade doesn't learn any moves that comply with the description above and thus Technician is pretty much unusable on it, unless you happen to want to use some type of Hidden Power or the other. No, you should go with Natural Cure instead, which heals any status conditions Roserade might have caught during the battle upon switching out. Poison Point has a 20% chance to poison the foe when it makes contact with Roserade - usually this happens with physical moves - but it's situational and doesn't go well with Toxic Spikes or Toxic, to name a few moves.

Another anime still of Roserade.

There are a couple of ways to make Roserade work in the competitive metagame, and unless you go physical with it, you can't go wrong. It is strong and not overly slow, can take a few hits and has an interesting design and flavor to boot. I mean, you can't say its concept is bland. I don't love it, but I like it to such an extent that I'm rewarding it with no less (and no more) than 4 stars.

Rating: 4/5

#313 - #314: Volbeat & Illumise

A little GIF of a smitten Volbeat (left) and Illumise (right).

Like Plusle and Minun, Volbeat and Illumise were created to introduce Double Battles, even though that didn't turn out quite well. Both bug-type Pokémon are pretty bad stat-wise, and thus no good competitively, and some of the moves in their movepools should actually be switched. Clearly, Game Freak haven't thought these two Pokémon through very well, and here's why: Volbeat gets Tail Glow and Illumise doesn't. For those who aren't aware, Tail Glow is a move that raises the user's special attack stat by a whopping three stages! That sounds broken, and it actually is to some extent, but only three Pokémon can learn it: Manaphy, Xurkitree and, obviously, Volbeat. Because, you know, it's based on a firefly and it has an adorable and tiny oval tail? Well, the only problem is that Volbeat's base special attack stat of 47 is terrible and its base attack of 73 makes it more of a physical attacker. With Illumise it's exactly the other way around, and that is precisely what bugs me (no pun intended), because Illumise has nothing to boost that somewhat mediocre special attack to competitive levels. It's a shame, because its movepool is quite diverse: Bug Buzz, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Giga Drain and even Water Pulse all would have been very good options to use after a nonexistent Tail Glow boost.

Volbeat and Illumise.

Volbeat's physical movepool is not as useful, however. Its strongest STAB move is U-Turn, which at a base power of 70 is decent at best and forces Volbeat to switch out, and only when it comes to coverage moves does Volbeat have a chance to shine: Power-Up Punch is a rather weak move but it raises the user's attack stat by one stage every time it's used, while Acrobatics' base power of 55 doubles when Volbeat isn't holding an item, which I don't recommend. Other moves are Brick Break (redundant when you're running Power-Up Punch), Ice Punch, Thunder Punch, Zen Headbutt and Play Rough. My conclusion is that both Volbeat and Illumise aren't good at all, and the small defense and special defense buffs on both Pokémon in Gen. VII won't make any difference. Masquerain's got buffs in both special attack and speed in Pokémon Sun and Moon; now, those make a difference. Not that there isn't any use for Volbeat, though: its hidden ability Prankster treats support moves as if they're priority moves, allowing Volbeat to lock the opponent into an undesirable move with Encore, set up with Tail Glow and pass on the special attack boost to another Pokémon by using Baton Pass. Alternatively, Volbeat is a passable weather setter, being able to use either Sunny Day or Rain Dance while holding a respective Heat Rock or Damp Rock to extend the duration of these moves. While Volbeat also has priority Thunder Wave to paralyze foes, Illumise is better off setting up a Substitute and Baton Pass it on to a bulkier Pokémon.

This comic strip by Rare Candy Treatment is funny
and sad at the same time. 

The reason I put these two Pokémon together in one single review, though, is because they are related. And I mean they're actually related by blood, or whatever you want to call it: when Illumise and Volbeat breed, there is an equal 50/50 chance that either Volbeat or Illumise hatch from the eggs they lay. Even when either Volbeat or Illumise breeds with Ditto, this chance stays the same. Their Pokédex entries also state the one can't live without the other, as Illumise emits a sweet fragrance to lure in swarms and Volbeat in order to lead them to draw geometric patterns in the sky. The Volbeat are able to work in unison because they communicate with each other by adjusting the intensity and flashing of their glowing tails. The more complex the designs in the sky, the greater the respect Illumise gets from its peers. In short, Volbeat and Illumise's flavor is as interesting as a football match... oh, pardon me, a soccer match. I hate all kinds of sports, so you figure out how interesting exactly I think a soccer match is. What is kind of fascinating, though, is the fact that both Volbeat and Illumise are based on fashion styles that were popular in the past. Volbeat's collar, black 'shirt' and striped belly 'undershirt' give it the appearance of a bōsōzoku - the more colorful Japanese counterpart of a greaser, a subculture that was popular among male adolescents in the 1950s - and even its pose may be a reference to greasers, as they are commonly shown with their hands either holding or popping the collars of their leather jackets. The style Illumise sports goes a little while back, as its curled bob and long black 'coat' or 'dress' might be references to flappers, a 1920s women's style.

Fun fact: flappers were often seen as brash for wearing excessive make-up, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving cars and otherwise flouting social and sexual norms. While 'flapper' was generally used to describe a young woman or teenage girl, it is derived from the derogatory slang word 'flap', which was used in England as early as 1631 to refer to a young prostitute. Goddamn.

Yes, this is indeed how Illumise and Volbeat are often depicted in fan art: in love.

Other than the historical fashion styles Volbeat and Illumise are based off of, I don't think these Pokémon are overly special. They even seem a little too awkwardly shaped to me, even though I don't hate their designs by any means. Like I said earlier, it's too bad that the one who has access to Tail Glow is Volbeat, so I think Game Freak could have at least switched up their physical attack and special attack stats. Other than that, I don't think these Pokémon deserve a bad rating and thus I'll reward them with 3 stars each.

P.S.: Has anyone heard of a Danish heavy metal band called Volbeat? Neither had I, until I needed images of Volbeat and Illumise and the only thing that popped up when I was searching for Volbeat on Google Images was this band I'm talking about. Huh. The band Volbeat has even been around longer than the Pokémon, because the former was founded in Copenhagen in 2001 and Ruby and Sapphire weren't a thing until late 2002.

Rating: 3/5

#311 - #312: Plusle & Minun

Normally I would rate Pokémon like Plusle and Minun separately because they are not related by evolution or breeding or what have you, but if I did that, I would end up having two very short reviews. Plusle and Minun are essentially the same fucking Pokémon anyway, because their designs are the same, their characteristics are the same, their movepools are the same and even their base stats don't differ all that much, with only slightly different stat distributions between the two Pokémon: Plusle leans more towards offense, while Minun has a more defensive touch to it. Not that it matters, because the difference is only 10 base points per stat, so both of them are still weak and frail and aren't used at all in the competitive scene as a result. They're both getting the exact same rating as well, so there is absolutely no reason why I wouldn't put them together in one review.

GIF of Plusle and Minun cheering for their teammates with sparkly pom-poms.

Plusle and Minun were initially created to introduce the concept of Double Battles, just like Volbeat and Illumise - the next Pokémon in the National Dex, in fact. It didn't work out very well, because both Plusle and Minun are quite weak (Plusle has base 50 attack and base 85 special attack, while Minun has base 40 attack and base 75 special attack; for their defensive stats it's the other way around) and will barely get a chance to set up with support moves like Helping Hand and Encore, anyway. They could have been pretty viable in one-on-one battles because they both have access to Nasty Plot, but their lack of special coverage is a huge drawback. The best they get aside from STAB Thunderbolt is a Hidden Power of any type, which depends on their IVs, so you're pretty much screwed if their Hidden Power turns out to be electric. Grass Knot is sorta unreliable, because the power varies depending on the opponent's weight, and Signal Beam isn't an option in Pokémon Sun and Moon anymore, being available only through a Move Tutor in Hoenn's Battle Resort in ORAS. Hardly worth the hassle.

Fan art of Plusle and Minun with actual pom-poms.

Double Battles are still around, but Plusle and Minun have done nothing to establish themselves as masters of that kind of battles - for that matter, nor have Volbeat and Illumise done anything of the sort, either.

So, will Plusle and Minun's flavor bring them redemption? Well, as you can see in the GIF above, Plusle and Minun often act as cheerleaders for their partners and teammates and create sparkly pom-poms to cheer them on. Minun cares more for its partner than for itself, giving off an increasing amount of sparks when a partner is about to lose, while Plusle just starts to cry loudly. So basically they create showers of sparks when a teammate puts out a good effort in battle and when a teammate is in peril. At a convention for Pokémon academics, it was announced that simultaneous exposure to electricity from a Plusle and Minun will promote your blood circulation, relax your muscles and boost vitality.

A nice wallpaper of Plusle and Minun playing on the beach, joined by a couple of
other Pokémon. Too bad that this piece of trash called a Pelipper has to ruin the
picture. 

And, um... that's it, I guess? I understand where Game Freak is coming from, creating Pokémon based on positive and negative electrical charges to properly introduce Double Battles, but even with Plus and Minus - when Pokémon with either of these two abilities stand side by side in a Double Battle, their special attack will get a 50% boost - Plusle and Minun aren't very good and I wouldn't recommend using them. What's more, they are the very first electric-type Pikachu rip-offs, something the Pokémon community would soon grow really tired of, but later generations would continue the trend regardless. I am yet to review Pachirisu, Emolga, Dedenne and Togedemaru, but I can tell you now that they are pretty much as competitively viable as Plusle and Minun.

(Not at all, in other words. If that wasn't already really obvious.)

For what they are, though, Plusle and Minun ain't bad. They're pretty cute as is and the concept of positive and negative electrical charges is something that hadn't been done before Ruby and Sapphire came out, so I wouldn't say it's unoriginal. It's just that Plusle and Minun could have been executed much better; they still feel like the same damn Pokémon, while technically they belong to entirely different species.

Rating: 3.5/5

#309 - #310: Electrike & Manectric

Look at Electrike's face. No doubt this thing has mischief on its
mind. 

The Pokémon I'm going to discuss now are a pair of weird-looking electric-type canines (wolves, perhaps?) of some sort, one of which - Electrike - is a green quadruped with an oblong headcrest. Remarkably many features are lightning-shaped, including the sides of before-mentioned headcrest and its tail. Electrike uses friction from the atmosphere to generate electricity, which it uses to stimulate its leg muscles and run faster than the human eye can follow and which causes its body to discharge showers of sparks in seasons with arid air or in the calm before a storm. Electrike has an evolution, Manectric, whose fur changed from green to blue with yellow manes and is a lot spikier than its pre-evolution's. Its flavor as much as you'd expect from an electric canine with lightning-shaped patches of fur: pretty generic. Manectric is constantly discharging electricity from its manes, sometimes causing forest fires; it builds nests in places where lightning has struck or where there's plenty of static; and it creates thunderclouds over its head in order to drop its lightning bolts. Okay, the last one is pretty cool, but that's as cool as you're gonna get: even Mega Manectric doesn't have its own distinctive flavor, not even something that elaborates on regular Manectric's characteristics. It's a shame, because this very Mega would have been the perfect opportunity to do something crazy with its flavor, especially as a cool-looking Pokémon like Manectric was obviously designed to be a fan favorite.

Mega Manectric vs Zinogre, a creature from the video
game series Monster Hunter. This fan art is SO COOL!

Mega Manectric was only created for no other purpose than to give it more of an edge in the competitive metagame: regular Manectric's special attack and speed stats, both a solid base 105, are both increased by 30 base points upon Mega-evolving and its defenses get a small boost as well. They're still nothing to write home about, but at least Mega Manectric can live a few hits that are not super effective on it; and because it is only weak to ground due to its pure electric typing, you only have to keep an eye out for incoming Earthquakes, which are fairly easy to predict. Too bad its special movepool sucks. A Mega Manectric moveset always consists of Volt Switch, Thunderbolt, Hidden Power (usually either grass or ice type) and either Overheat or Flamethrower, which makes it pretty predictable in return. What's more, above moveset is even regular Manectric's standard moveset, with the only difference that it should hold a Life Orb, Choice Scarf or the Choice Specs rather than its corresponding Mega Stone. Both Manectric even have their nature in common, as a Timid nature would be the smartest to run if you want them to outspeed your opponents - I mean, a Modest regular Manectric can still hold a Choice Scarf to quickly boost its speed, but Mega Manectric can by no means do that. It's a bummer you can't create a less predictable moveset for Mega Manectric, because it has access to quite some physical moves: Wild Charge, Crunch, Fire Fang, Ice Fang, Return and Iron Tail are some of them, and it can even learn Curse to boost its attack and defense by one stage each (at the cost of some speed), while it learns nothing to boost its special attack with. Unfortunately, its base 70 attack stat won't allow Manectric - Mega or otherwise - to make use of above-mentioned physical moves.

Manectric as seen in the anime, about to be discharging its electricity.

Manectric is such a cool-looking Pokémon, but it's a shame Game Freak never did anything special with it other than giving it a Mega evolution. Even the kind of yōkai Manectric is based on - Raijū, an elemental lightning creature that can take on the shape of various mammals, including a blue wolf wrapped in white and yellow lightning - has been the inspiration for electric-type Pokémon in the past. While I definitely don't think Manectric is some kind of rehash of existing electric-type Pokémon, I think Game Freak and Nintendo could have done a little bit better flavor-wise. Manectric's design is top-notch, though, and it's by no means useless in the competitive scene; it's just too bad it's so predictable due to the lack of special moves. However, its rating will turn out to be much better than you'd expect judging on the stuff I've written already.

Rating: 4.5/5

#307 - #308: Meditite & Medicham

Hoenn is home to some of the weirdest Pokémon in the franchise. Exploud is one of them, but Medicham is pretty fucking weird as well, with even a weirder Mega to boot. Fortunately, it's exactly the kind of weird that I like about Exploud, so prepare yourselves for some serious gushing and raving here.

Official art of Meditite, created by Ken Sugimori. I wish I could
say that I like it, but the onion-shaped head and curled ears are
actually a bit dumb. Also, its eyes are way out of proportion. 

First off, there's Meditite. Y'know, the mediocrity that is called a pre-evolution? That is to say, there are only a few pre-evos that appeal to me more than their final forms - Pikachu, Dragonair and Spheal, for example - and Meditite ain't one of them. Its flavor is quite original for a fighting-type Pokémon, though, and I like it well enough: Meditite usually sits in a yoga position, heightening its inner energy and spiritual power through meditation in order for it to levitate. In yoga, this position is called the Lotus position - or Padmāsana - and supposedly holds the mind completely steady for long periods of time and calms it. However, Meditite always loses its concentration and focus while meditating and thus its training never ends, keeping itself dedicatedly busy with rigorous meditation every day for hours on end. It only eats one berry per day as part of its spiritual training, as it is said that enduring hunger results in a tempered spirit and a sharper mind. Of course, these characteristics explain why Meditite also has the secondary psychic typing on top of its fighting type and why its only regular ability is Pure Power, which doubles its actual attack stat. It's basically Huge Power, but for weird humanoid yoga Pokémon - to this day, the ability is exclusive to Meditite and Medicham.

Medicham is ready to kick some ass! 

The latter of which is one of my favorite Pokémon for a reason, by the way. Instead of having an onion head, like Meditite, Medicham looks like it is wearing a turban - or at least some kind of Arabian headgear. It seems to be based on a couple of deities from the Hindu religion, of which meditation is a prominent aspect, but the bedlah pants and the headgear that resembles a shāl (shawl; compare the Dutch word sjaal, which means 'scarf') give Medicham the appearance of Arabian belly dancers, while the headpiece growth on top of its head resembles a ponytail that can be seen on Persian genies in American fiction. Its flavor is also a lot more interesting than Meditite: Medicham can harness great psychokinetic powers through the practice of meditation, because it has developed a sixth sense that allows it to predict the opponent's next move. To blend it with the belly dancer thing, Medicham battles with elegant, dance-like moves so that it can dodge attacks and launch devastating blows (which is no lie). By becoming one with nature, it can merge itself with its surroundings without much difficulty and vanish, only to focus on its meditation for more than a month without any food; in fact, the deprivation of food allows it to see its opponents' auras. Did you absorb that information? Medicham deprives itself of food to enhance its sixth sense, with which it can predict what its opponent is going to do in battles. In theory, Medicham should never lose or get hit, but of course that's not how it works - not even in the anime - and I bloody damn well know that.

I like how Mega Medicham is depicted as a hieroglyph, given the
fact that its most prominent features are derived from Arabic and
Persian culture.

That is not to say, however, that you shouldn't be cautious around Medicham. Its base 60 attack stat may not look like it's powerful, but its actual attack can reach 480 at level 100 when Pure Power is applied, along with other factors like IVs, EV training and a beneficial nature. Its speed is kind of subpar, but that could easily be fixed by giving it a Choice Scarf. A Choice Band might be an option to boost its ridiculous attack stat even further, although a Life Orb boosts all of its moves without locking it into only one move until you switch it out, because its movepool is way too good for that: aside from STAB High Jump Kick and STAB Zen Headbutt, Medicham also has access to excellent coverage moves like Thunder Punch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch, Rock Slide and Poison Jab, and even priority moves like Fake Out and Bullet Punch. Drain Punch is a STAB fighting-type move that heals Medicham for half the damage done to the target and is much more reliable than High Jump Kick, as the latter may be strong (130 power!) but takes away half of Medicham's health if it misses. Drain Punch is a safer alternative, but you could also use both at the same time and fill the remaining two moveslots with Zen Headbutt and a good coverage move that perfectly suits your needs for the upcoming battle.

Medicham is awesome.

Mega Medicham (left) and its shiny form (right). Medicham - and by extension its
Mega evolution - has one of the best shiny color palettes in the games. 

But wait a minute, wait a minute... I'm not done yet! Medicham has a Mega evolution that's even more awesome than its regular form. The shawl on its head has transformed into what's obviously a turban now, the harem pants have more accessories to them (look at them frills and beads!), and behind Mega Medicham itself now float four additional arms. These ghost-like arms were formed by Mega Medicham itself by using its enhanced willpower and are more realistic and dexterous the more trained its spirit is. However, not only Mega Medicham's spirit is enhanced, its power has gone through the roof as well! Base 100 attack would normally be nothing more than just good, but Medicham retains Pure Power upon Mega-evolving and can reach an attack stat of 656 when all the right factors are into play. That's only a little bit less than Mega Mawile's attack stat when Huge Power is in effect, but the only reason why Mega Medicham didn't end up in Ubers (Smogon's legendary tier) is because it isn't able to learn Swords Dance and Mega Mawile is. Moreover, Mega Medicham is relatively frail compared to Mega Mawile, even though its decent speed stat may rescue it from getting hit first from time to time.

Mega Medicham (left) in combat with one of the best Megas ever (Mega Aggron,
right). The former has a type advantage over the latter, but I hope Mega Aggron
is winning.

I love everything about Medicham, but I love its Mega the most. It's definitely one of the weirdest Pokémon Hoenn has to offer, and it has one of the most unique Gen. III designs. I fell in love with Medicham when I used one in an Omega Ruby playthrough. It one-shotted everything, although it had a Brave nature, so it was outsped by other Pokémon more often than not.

Not that it bothered me. Much.

Anyway, it won't surprise anybody that, after all this praise, I'm giving Medicham and its Mega a deserved rating of 5 more-than-perfect little stars. Big time.

Rating: 5/5

#304 - #306: Aron, Lairon & Aggron

Now, I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass, goddamn or flying fuck about Aron and Lairon, but MAN do I love Aggron.

Adorable little Aron being adorable on its rock.

Okay, I said I would talk about every Pokémon, so let's get Aron and Lairon out of the way, shall we? It's not like I hate these Pokémon, but I just wanna talk about Aggron and its pre-evolutions are really rather unremarkable. In fact, the whole line follows a pretty generic evolutionary path: cute first stage, awkward-looking middle stage and badass final stage, even making the big bad beast stand on its hind legs. Amphibian and reptiloid Pokémon do look better when they're bipedal, anyway. Look at Charizard, Nidoking and Rhyperior, for example; I can't ever imagine them being quadrupeds. For what it is, though, Aron ain't bad and I'd dare say it's pretty cute. A cute little pest at that, as extreme hunger will sometime drive it to descend from the mountains to eat bridges or rails - if it can't find any iron ore to feed on in its natural habitat, that is. Iron ore is running out there at a rapid pace, anyway, as this iron ore is also used by Aron to construct its steel body. While Aron may not look strong, one all-out carge can completely demolish a dump truck. Lairon discards the old steel carapace covering its body when it evolves and creates an entirely new armor of steel, sturdier and more effective; it uses its newly acquired armor to bash into others of its species over territory - sparks fly when that occurs, and the sound of their collision carries for miles - or just because it wants to show off its tremendous strength. It tempers its metallic body by drinking highly nutritious mineral springwater and eating rocks rich in iron until it is bloated/stuffed.

Lairon.

But neither of these Pokémon are as badass as Aggron. The longer its horns are, the older it is, and the more wounds Aggron has, the more it has battled; the gouges in its armor from the battles it's had are even worn as mementos. It claims an entire mountain as its territory and agressively defends it against anything or anyone, even mercilessly beating up humans if it has to. But if its mountain is ravaged by a landslide or fire, it will haul the best soil to the area and plant trees there, beautifully restoring its own territory. Isn't that all kinds of adorable? To put it with the words of Bogleech here: secretly, deep in its heart, Aggron is nothing more than a big old softie, even though it is based on the iron-eating monster Bulgasari from Korean mythology. Its pre-evolutions also seem to based on this creature, but less so, and the claim that they are somehow dragon-like - check out Lairon's namesake, the word 'dragon' is all over the place - is ridiculous to me. Sure, the entire line are defined by their saurian features, but that doesn't make them dragons; they're steel/rock types, not steel/dragon types, and Aggron's Mega evolution even loses the rock type to become a pure steel type. If anything, Lairon and Aggron look more like dinosaurs.

Some explosive fan art of Aggron (above) and its
Mega form (below). 

Competitively, Aggron can be a good asset to any team when used right. With its monstrous base 180 defense and excellent base 110 attack, it can hit hard and tank physical hits. Especially the combination of an Adamant nature, a Choice Band and the ability Rock Head, which prevents any recoil damage from moves that have exactly that as a side effect, allows it to deal massive damage with a move called Head Smash. You'll have to breed it onto Aron, but it'll be worth it. On top of that, Aggron has some excellent type coverage: Heavy Slam is a STAB steel-type move that deals more damage the heavier Aggron is compared to the opposing Pokémon - even though Iron Head and Smart Strike (a move that never misses) deal fixed damage and might be more reliable - and it has access to moves of various other types, such as Earthquake, Dragon Claw, Dragon Rush, Brick Break, Superpower, Low Kick, Aqua Tail and the elemental punches (Thunder Punch, Ice Punch and Fire Punch). If you use Mega Aggron, however, another strategy is required. Because it loses the rock typing to become a pure steel type, it also loses its quadruple weaknesses to ground and fighting, which is nice. Plus, the Filter ability lets super-effective damage do 25% less on Mega Aggron than normally, substantially making it even more bulky than it already is: base 230 defense is monstrous, even tying with Shuckle and Mega Steelix for the highest base defense stat, and its base 80 special defense is also quite passable. It likes to cripple opposing Pokémon with Thunder Wave, set up Stealth Rock so that opponents take a little damage depending on their types when they're switched in, deal heavy damage with a STAB Heavy Slam (pun most definitely intended), and tank physical hits like they're flies colliding with a windshield due to an Impish nature. Mega Aggron lacks any recovery other than Rest, but it has top-notch endurance in the first place, so you don't necessarily have to worry about that.

Mega Aggron in TCG art. If you still don't think it looks like a beast, you're gonna
have to have your eyes checked. 

I absolutely adore everything about Aggron, from its flavor and design to its Mega and competitive prowess. I think it embodies the term 'monster' perfectly, even more so than Pokémon like Tyranitar and Tyrantrum and the like, but maybe I'm a little biased in that regard. Steel is my favorite type in the games, and Aggron is everything a steel type should be like: its minimalistic color palette keeps its design from becoming too busy and focuses perfectly on the steel elements of said design. Aggron's Mega evolution is even one of my favorites as well, coming third after Steelix's (obviously also a steel type) and Pidgeot's. It'll come as no surprise to anyone that I'm giving this Pokémon a perfect rating.

Rating: 5/5