#393 - #395: Piplup, Prinplup & Empoleon

With Piplup and Prinplup's better-than-thou attitude, I doubt
real love between the species is actually possible.

Of the Sinnoh starters, Piplup is hands down the cutest-looking. With the dark blue feathers on its head extending down its neck and around its head, our little superhero appears to be wearing some kind of cape. Don't let that fool you, though, because this feisty little thing has a strong sense of self-pride and has a hard time accepting food from humans and bonding with its caretakers. It will even puff up its chest without a care after it falls down, which it often does because of its poor walking abilities. This trait becomes even worse when Piplup evolves into Prinplup, whose sense of self-pride is so high that it can't even form groups of its own kind. It lives a solitary life instead, away from others, as every one of this Pokémon species believes it is the most important. Game Freak even goes as far as to incorporate variations of 'prince' in its domestic and foreign names, with its Japanese name Pottaishi (ポッタイシ) and Korean name Pengtaiza (팽태자) coming from kōtaishi and hwangtaeja, respectively, both meaning 'crown prince'. But eventually they're gonna be king or emporor of... well, what exactly? Prinplup live alone and their snobby attitude is the one solid reason not a one of this Pokémon will give in to others of its kind, so I'm actually curious how's that going to work out once they evolve into Empoleon. Let's find out, shall we?

Empoleon surfing on the water. 

Piplup and Prinplup's high special defense stats, influences of emperor penguins and their ability to survive in cold climates and icy waters due to their thick downs would make you think Empoleon is actually a water/ice type, but nothing could be further from the truth: Game Freak decided to go the unconventional route for once and made Empoleon the first and only water/steel-type Pokémon.

STEEL TYPE REPRESENT!!!

Ahem, I am fine...

Of course, most of the time it's pretty obviously visible whether a Pokémon is a steel type or not, and the fact that this is not the case with Empoleon probably makes me love it even more. Naturally, this Pokémon has the highest sense of self-pride in the entire evolutionary line and anything or anyone who were to damage it will be slashed viciously with its wings - which can easily cleave through an ice floe, in case you were wondering. Apparently, this Pokémon is able to live in groups just fine, but the Empoleon with the biggest horns is the leader. Sure, the one with the biggest something is always the goddamn leader, isn't it? Well, I doubt emperor penguins consciously think they're better than other people or things, so I think it's the 'emperor' part that makes Piplup, Prinplup and Empoleon think so highly of themselves. And there's one certain human being that has been the inspiration for that.

Okay, somebody made this and I think it's fantastic!

We've got to take a look at Empoleon's namesake Napoleon Bonaparte to understand why it and its pre-evolution are so prideful. Obviously, the majority of you don't need to be introduced to Napoleon, as you probably know exactly who he is, but I'm going to give you a brief summary of his personality nonetheless. As you're probably all aware of, Napoleon was a highly competent military strategist who achieved victory after victory at the start of the 19th century and declared himself the Emperor of the French and King of Italy in 1804 and 1805, respectively. He hated losing, however; he cheated at card games, refused to take inspiration from other great conquerors and was accused of winning battles because of sheer luck, the kind of rumors and criticism he quickly attempted to scotch. Winning so often heightened his sense of self-grandiosity, leaving himself even more certain of his destiny and invincibility. Until, of course, he was defeated in the Battle of Waterloo in 1815 - something ABBA wouldn't let France forget about - and exiled to the remote island of Saint Helena by the British shortly thereafter.

In short, he was pretty much someone who would easily have said, "Hurt my pride and pay the consequences, or keep quiet." Empoleon, my guy... I get you. It's not your fault Game Freak and Nintendo characterized you this way. Don't worry, I've got your back.

Empoleon just being plain badass. 

Of all the Sinnoh starters, Empoleon is by far the best Pokémon to use competitively. Its base 84 HP stat and 101 special defense stat provide it some awesome special bulk, making it an excellent special tank utilized for support. I'm basically saying that a moveset consisting of Stealth Rock, Defog, Scald and Roar is enough for Empoleon to work, as long as it is holding the Leftovers (or a kind of berry that weakens a common super-effective ground- or fighting-type move, such as the Shuca or Chople Berry) and has a Calm or Bold nature to increase one of its defenses. You'd think this should always be its special defense, but that stat is high enough as is and you could therefore breed for a Bold Empoleon to try equaling its defenses in battle and let it serve as an all-around tank. However, its best base stat is its special attack, at 111, and it could therefore wreck house as well. A Choice Specs set with a Modest nature and the moves Hydro Pump, Flash Cannon, Ice Beam and either Grass Knot or Signal Beam will more than suffice, although you could also swap the Choice Specs for a more reliable item such as a Life Orb or one of those berries I mentioned earlier. Don't bother giving Empoleon a Choice Scarf or anything, because it's got some lousy speed, anyway; for that matter, you might be better off giving it Agility, which is a set-up move that doubles its speed but doesn't lock Empoleon into a certain move. As for its ability... Well, Torrent is basically your only option, because its hidden ability Defiant raises its attack - which you're not gonna use if you're smart - every time one of its stats is reduced.

GIF of Empoleon from - I think - Pokkén Tournament.

I've always loved Empoleon, and I have to say this Pokémon may well have laid the basis for my current love of steel types. What makes it a steel type exactly is still a mystery to me, but I'm not complaining: I love steel types for their defensive qualities as much as their aethetics, and like many others of its type Empoleon has 10 resistances and an immunity. This Pokémon is powerful and possibly even a little too overpowered for a normal playthrough, but I've found myself choosing Piplup more often than Turtwig (and definitely Chimchar), just because I think its design is so amazing. Its Napoleonic aesthetics based on the emperor penguin are genius in itself, but the crest extending from its beak resembles the trident of Poseidon - the ancient Greek god of the sea - and is a nice little touch on a bird-like water type like Empoleon. I'm giving it no fewer than a perfect 5 stars, but by this time you really shouldn't be surprised anymore.

P.S.: I find it hilarious how the German name Impoleon contains the word 'imp' somehow. It's actually from Imperator - which means 'emperor' in German - but there's this urban myth going around about Napoleon that he was ridiculously small. At 5'02" he was a bit short for an officer at the time, sure, but about average height for French peasants.

Rating: 5/5

#390 - #392: Chimchar, Monferno & Infernape

TCG art of Chimchar.

Let me confess here: I have never even used Chimchar in a playthrough before in my life and I definitely don't intend to do so. It's not that I hate it or anything, because I don't, but the fire/fighting starter hype was already wearing off at the time Diamond and Pearl came out and we were ready to face some brand new starter type combinations. In that regard, Torterra and Empoleon didn't disappoint. So what is it about Chimchar that makes me go "meh"? Why, first and foremost it's based on a monkey, which is something that has been done before in a much more original or humorous manner. Granted, Ambipom was introduced in the same generation as Chimchar and its evolutions, but its design elaborated on its Gen. II pre-evolution Aipom's design, so let's not nitpick about that. Second, we would be really tired of fire/fighting starters by the time Black and White came around, and the fact that Emboar was exactly that probably didn't work in its predecessor's favor, either. And last but not least, I really do love the other two Sinnoh starters to death. They have such creative and original designs, and Infernape just... doesn't.

Monferno... digging a hole, I guess? It's probably using Dig or
something. 

Now, Chimchar is pretty cute in its own right and doesn't deserve hate whatsoever, but the red patch on its rear - a baboon trait, although Chimchar is known as the 'Chimp Pokémon' and is therefore more likely to have been inspired by chimpanzees - is usually obscured by flames produced by burning gas in its stomach, which basically means that its flaming tail is a constant fart that only weakens when it becomes ill or go out when it's asleep. That's disgusting, Game Freak. Other than that, Chimchar doesn't have much going for it; it is good at climbing rocky mountain ledges, which is pretty much a cop-out because almost all real-life monkeys are good at climbing, but aside from that there's literally nothing left to mention about it. Of course, there's Ash's Chimchar from the anime, but that's basically a retelling of Charmander's story: it gets abandoned by its previous Trainer and Ash decides to be a Good Samaritan and adopt the Chimchar in the following episode. Monferno isn't that much better, with much of its flavor revolving around its goddamn tail, of all things. It skillfully controls the intensity of the flame on its tail to keep opponents at an ideal distance, its tail can be stretched in order to make Monferno appear larger, or it tries to impress the others in the pack by relying on the size of its tail flame and the brightness of its facial marking. The bigger the flame and the brighter its marking, the higher Monferno's position in the pack.

Monferno giving Chimchar a... love letter?

Some of Monferno's traits confuse me a little, among which its classification as the 'Playful Pokémon'. Nothing in its flavor indicates it's playful and it sure doesn't look that way, either. I also don't get why its French name Chimpenfeu has a reference to chimpanzees in it and Chimchar's French name Ouisticram doesn't. I get that ouistiti is French for 'marmoset' - an umbrella term for 22 extraordinarily fluffy monkey species, most of which don't get any taller than roughly 8 inches tall - but even though Chimchar is the child stage of this evolutionary line, it isn't actually that small and it doesn't share any traits with any of these species, either. Bulbapedia says Monferno seems to be a direct impression of monkey kung fu, a Chinese martial art that utilizes ape- or monkey-like movements as part of its technique and may explain Monferno's fighting type, but as far as I know there's nothing in Monferno's stance or movements that indicates it is based on monkey kung fu, especially not when it comes to launching aerial attacks from walls and ceilings. That's just plain monkey business, if you ask me; if anything, Mankey's stance is more 'kung fu' than Monferno's. Lastly, Monferno's Bulbapedia page doesn't mention chimpanzees in its 'Origin' paragraph anymore, as opposed to Chimchar's, even though some of its foreign names clearly contain some kind of reference to this species. But that's probably none of my business, right?

Okay, then. Maybe I am just being too finicky about a goddamn middle-stage evolution, but there are too many things that seem to make sense but really don't quite fit in my opinion. Anyway, let's move on to Infernape, because there are quite a few things to say about it.

Infernape fist-bumping a Pansear. Somehow Chimchar and
Monferno seem to be threatened by it, or at least a bit jealous.

The first thing I notice is that this evolutionary line's French names seem to be all over the place; while Ouisticram and Chimpenfeu contain references to marmosets and chimpanzees, respectively, Simiabraz seems to take a more vague direction with 'simian', an adjective used to describe something relating to or resembling monkeys or apes. At least they don't go into detail which monkey they're referring to this time. What's more important, though, is its Japanese name Goukazaru (ゴウカザル), which is most likely linked to the Dragonball Z character of Son Goku - or Goku for short. It is the Japanese interpretation of Sun Wukong, one of the main characters in the Chinese 16th-century epic Journey to the West. This classical novel, one of the four to be considered the greatest in Chinese literature, is an extended account of the legendary pilgrimage of a Tang-dynasty Buddhist monk who traveled to Central Asia and India to obtain Buddhist sacred texts and returned after many trials and much suffering. I'm not going into too much detail about the contents of te whole story; all you need to know is that Sun Wukong is a monkey with powerful abilities (often fire-related) who was sent with the Buddhist monk to serve as his protector as an atonement for its own sins, together with three others. The gold markings on Infernape's body seem to be a direct reference to this Monkey King persona as well, as they resemble some of the markings on the Monkey King's attire in some depictions of it.

Infernape creating a ring of fire with its 

Infernape seems to be using a special kind of martial art involving all of its limbs, and you can be sure that ain't a lie: it has access to various punching and kicking moves, perhaps more than other Pokémon at the same time, and it learns Close Combat by level-up. The latter isn't necessarily exclusive to Infernape, but it fits its flavor quite well. It is also often a staple move in its various competitive movesets, along with other strong moves that provide it either STAB or neat type coverage: Fire Blast, Flare Blitz, Mach Punch, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Gunk Shot, Thunder Punch, Fire Punch, Iron Tail, Grass Knot, Poison Jab, U-Turn, Shadow Claw, Focus Blast, Overheat, Acrobatics, Flamethrower, Vacuum Wave, Brick Break and even Hidden Power if you're really short on options for a specific type. You may have noticed these moves are both physical- and special-based, and the reason for that is because Infernape is often used as a mixed attacker due to its equal 104 base offensive stats. That's why most Infernape have a Hasty or Naive nature, which both boost its speed but lower one of its defenses depending on which one you have. At a base 108 speed it is indeed quite quick, but its Pokédex entry in Pearl that states that "it is beaten by none in terms of quickness" is actually false; it is outsped by quite a lot of other Pokémon. That's fine as long as it has a speed-boosting nature and its offensive stats aren't negatively affected. Although... it has to be said that a Jolly nature fits well on a Swords Dance set and a Timid nature on a Nasty Plot set, the latter move only being available to it through Chimchar. What remain are the item Infernape should hold (which is mostly a Life Orb or Choice Scarf, or maybe a Choice Band) and the ability you should breed on it (Iron Fist if you taught it punching moves such as Mach Punch or Thunder Punch, and Blaze if you don't).

Smogon also mentions a physically defensive set for Infernape, which sounds more like one of these dumb movesets recommended by a certain PokéTuber who goes by the name of Verlisify. Don't ever use Infernape as a defensive support Pokémon, because it wasn't made for that purpose in the first place and there are many, many other Pokémon that can pull it off much, much better. It may suffer from four-moveslot syndrome, but that doesn't include support moves. No sir, not in the slightest.

I may not think Infernape is the greatest Pokémon of all, but this fan art is definitely
very nice. 

Infernape is more of a hit-and-run Pokémon in the competitive metagame, but it's a very powerful one at that. Unfortunately, that doesn't particularly make me like it. I can't help but feel it is a little bit too overdesigned: the red crest above its eyes should have the same primary orange color and there are a couple of gold markings too many. I don't know whether it's the pads on its knees, wrists or shoulders or the marking around its waist, but something feels out of place and makes the design a little bit too messy altogether. I understand what Game Freak were aiming at when designing this Pokémon, but I haven't quite... warmed up to it yet. Not as much as to Torterra and Empoleon, by any means.

Rating: 3.5/5

#387 - #389: Turtwig, Grotle & Torterra

Turtwig in a flowerpot. Isn't it adorable?

It's about time I started off with the Sinnoh starters, and Turtwig is the first one. While its name suggests it resembles a turtle - most likely the snapping turtle in appearance - it is probably based off of a tortoise more than anything, as will become evident by the type combination of its final evolution Torterra. You see, turtles spend most of their lives in the sea and tortoises tend to dwell on land, which is - just as a side note - why Blastoise's name isn't technically correct. Despite Turtwig's animal appearance it's actually some kind of vegetative Pokémon, carrying a shell on its back that hardens when it drinks water and a twig on its head that wilts if it becomes thirsty. It undertakes photosynthesis with its body, absorbing sunlight and making oxygen. In short, Turtwig's flavor text couldn't have been more generic, and it hardly becomes any better when it evolves into Grotle. Like most middle stages of starter Pokémon, Grotle looks a little awkward; with its hardened soil shell running over the entire length of its body, extending from its forehead to the tip of its short tail, it looks like it's majorly uncomfortable. It has two bushes growing on its shell, which are occasionally seen producing acorn-like nuts or berries that are greedily devoured by other Pokémon, and it has the ability to sense where pure water wells up and willingly carries other Pokémon on its back to these sources. Aside from the fact that it may be based on the minogame, a turtle in Japanese mythology that is said to live up to 10,000 years and is therefore seen as a symbol of longevity and felicity, I have to be honest and say that its origins aren't very inspiring. Sure, the minogame is often depicted with a train of seaweed/algae growing on its back and as a tail, but the reference is vague at best.

Great Torterra fan art that fully utilizes its shell's
ecosystem aspect.

Luckily, everything becomes a whole lot better when the grass-typed Grotle evolves into the grass/ground type Torterra. This Pokémon is a perfect example of commensalism, a class of relationship between two organisms where one organism benefits from the other without affecting it: Torterra's shell supports the lives of many small Pokémon that build their nests upon it and some are born and spend their entire life there. Aesthetically, Torterra seems to carry a giant tree and three triangular, stony protrusions resembling mountain peaks on top of its shell. Being known and classified as the 'Continent Pokémon', it really does look like it's carrying an entire continent on its back - or at least an entire ecosystem - and that is why it is probably based on the concept of the World Turtles in various mythologies carrying worlds upon their backs. The most prominent one is a popular rendition of a Hindu myth, in which the tortoise Akūpāra (Sanskrit: अकूपार) - or sometimes called Chukwa - supports the elephant Maha-pudma, which in turn supports the world. The first thing that came to mind when I was reading that was the humorous Discworld series by British author Terry Pratchett, in which a giant turtle called Great A'Tuin travels through the Discworld universe's space carrying four giant elephants on its back. The elephants in turn carry the flat, disc-like world of roughly 10,000 miles wide that earned the entire fantasy book series its name, which I'm sure was just an attempt to ridicule all those flat-earthers. In fact, a lot of myths, jokes and hoaxes such as drop bears, treacle mines, tooth fairies and suicidal lemmings seem to be the focus of the majority of the 41 (!) existing Discworld novels.

It doesn't work in Grotle's favor that the best image I could find from it is a still
from the anime series. I couldn't find any interesting or appropriate fan art at all. 

But while this whole World Turtle myth is a cool concept to base a Pokémon on and Terry Pratchett's Discworld series is fun to talk about, there are aspects of other things to be found in Torterra's design. Its stance is reminiscent of a certain armored dinosaur called the ankylosaur, just without the hammer-like tail tip; and while we're talking extinct animals anyway, it'd probably be safe to say Torterra may be inspired by the spiky-looking proganochelys quenstedti and meiolania turtles due to its large features and... well, spikes. Lastly, Torterra's name is most likely a combination of tortoise and terra (Latin for 'ground'), although it may also be a corruption of tōtara, a kind of tree endemic to New Zealand that bears a lot of similarities with the tree on Torterra's back.

Yo, this Torterra fan art is SO COOL!

Stat-wise, I can't say Torterra is the greatest fully evolved starter in the competitive scene. Sitting in one of the lowest Smogon tiers, its low speed and quadruple weakness to ice-type attacks makes it susceptible to being OHKOed quickly, but it gets a wonderful STAB Earthquake for that in return. Its solid all-around bulk and more-than-decent attack stat allow it to take a couple of hits and then strike back with powerful physical moves such as Earthquake, Wood Hammer, Seed Bomb, Crunch, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Superpower, Iron Head, Iron Tail and Outrage. And although you need to find the right time to set it up, it learns Stealth Rock for a bit of chip damage every time your opponents switches one Pokémon out for another. If you go the tank route, Stealth Rock and Synthesis are basically unmissable, as are the Leftovers; an offensive route mostly requires setting up with Curse, Swords Dance or Rock Polish, mostly in conjunction with a stat- or move-boosting held item such as a Life Orb or the Soft Sand. Or you could just slap a Choice Band and four offensive moves on Torterra and go all out, which works just as well. Make sure Torterra has an Adamant nature at all times to maximize the damage output, although a Careful or an Impish nature works just fine on a tanky Torterra.

Holy fucking cow, this is awesome!

Look at this!

And this!

While many depictions of Torterra somehow look savage or otherworldly, this
image is so... serene.

Torterra honestly has one of the most creative designs I have ever seen in Pokémon, and I am tempted to love it only because of that. But - and I have to say that it's a bit unfair towards the other Pokémon in the franchise - fan art plays a big part in my love for Torterra now. I never knew there were so many talented artists throwing their work on the Internet, but I'm glad they did. Torterra fan art is some of the best I've seen so far, and for the first time since Mew, I'm putting a couple of drawings directly underneath each other.

Well, it was GIFs in Mew's case, but y'know... details.

Not unimportantly, Torterra is the first and only grass/ground dual-type Pokémon, making it the only starter with STAB Earthquake aside from Swampert. And with Earthquake being one of the most popular moves in the entire game - not just in the competitive metagame, mind you - you shouldn't be surprised that I feel Turtwig has become the most popular Sinnoh starter. Grass may be kind of weak, both defensively and offensively, but Torterra's ground typing more than makes up for that in the end.

Gen. IV is a short generation, but we're starting off with a bang!

Rating: 5/5

#386: Deoxys

All Deoxys forms. Clockwise from bottom left to bottom right:
Defense Forme, Normal Forme, Attack Forme and Speed
Forme. Official artwork by - who else? - Ken Sugimori.

The last Pokémon in the Hoenn Pokédex is an odd one. While we humans are still speculating about whether there's life beyond Earth, the Pokémon world already got an extraterrestrial being in the form of Deoxys. This Pokémon comes in four different forms (Normal Forme, Attack Forme, Defense Forme and Speed Forme), and the main components that are constant for all of them are a dominant orange color, a bluish-green face, three bluish-green dots on their backs arranged in a triangle, a purple stripe running down the center of their faces and a purple crystalline organ in their chests that appears to be the brain. I am not going into detail about the differences between all forms, but just know that the first letters of Deoxys's form names spell out 'DNAs' in order from the most bulky-looking form to the most bare-looking one, showing less of its orange-colored plates and revealing more of its sleek and striated black body as it changes from Defense to Speed Forme. Then again, Deoxys was formed when the DNA of a space virus underwent a sudden mutation upon exposure to a laserbeam (hence its classification as the 'DNA Pokémon'), and it came to Earth on a fucking meteorite. Therefore, it's not surprising that this Pokémon can adjust its form to its own will - not in the games, unfortunately, in which you're required to take it to a meteorite in the overworld - and is able to regenerate any part of its body it may have lost in battle, as demonstrated in the seventh movie Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys. Also demonstrated is its ability to create an aurora without changing the form it's in. These auroras can have different electromagnetic wavelengths and are used to communicate with other Deoxys, and the various electromagnetic waves given off by people, Pokémon and all electronics can obscure its vision if there is enough interference with its communication. Such a movie, right?

In fact, that movie is kind of important when talking about the lore of this Pokémon, so get ready.

The official film poster for Pokémon: Destiny
Deoxys.

You see, you'd think that Rayquaza has more of a connection with Groudon and Kyogre, but this dragon Pokémon has comparatively little to do with these weather titans and almost has no interaction with the pair of them. It shows up in Emerald to break up the fight between Groudon and Kyogre, but only for a sequence of a couple of seconds long, after which it returns to the Sky Pillar only for the player character to catch it in a goddamn Master Ball. It also shows up in the Delta Episode of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, but only after the disaster with Primal Groudon/Primal Kyogre is averted and a new threat turns up: a meteorite that is about to collide with Earth threatens the human race and your objective is to hop on the back of Mega Rayquaza, travel to space and destroy the meteorite... only for you to battle and catch the Deoxys hidden inside it - which, by the way, makes me think that Deoxys has lost its status as a mythical Pokémon, because these are usually event-only. In any case, the movie follows a similar pattern in that a meteorite containing Deoxys manages to crash down on Earth in the polar regions and Rayquaza, whom you can call any variation of 'the Guardian of the Ozone Layer', perceives this as an invasion of its territory and attacks, ending up destroying the camp of a group of researchers and blasting Deoxys to the bottom of the ocean. A green crystalline orb is taken back on a chopper with the researchers, and four years later the orb is subject to laser experiments. Meanwhile, Deoxys has regenerated and bursts through the ice, heading for a technologically advanged city called LaRousse City to find its friend. Of course, Rayquaza frantically starts searching for the threat to prevent any catastrophes from happening, but the question remains whether it actually succeeds in that, as an all-out fight between Rayquaza and Deoxys ensues. In the meantime, Ash's Pikachu shocks the laser machine to give it more power, resulting in the green orb transforming into a second Deoxys who even saves Rayquaza from the first Deoxys's attacks. However, when the block security robots protecting the city power up and go into overdrive due to Pikachu's electrical boost, Rayquaza gets buried under them, and when the Deoxys try to help it the exact same thing happens to them in the process. Needless to say it's up to Ash to save the day.

Unintentional rhymes for the win.

This is some awesome eerie fan art of all different forms of Deoxys.

Oh, what happens with the Deoxys, you ask? Well, they befriend Rayquaza and go home after an unnecessarily extended stay on Earth. Yeah, it's a bit of an anticlimax now, but back then this movie was my third favorite just after The Power of One and Spell of the Unown, just because I thought it was more action-packed than the previous movies. Nowadays it would be nowhere near as close to my top 3. It probably falls a little short compared to later movies (I've seen every movie up until the one with Victini and Rashiram/Zekrom, so I've got some catching up to do), but it's still a decent movie that is far more exciting and action-packed than the regular anime, although that shouldn't be too hard.

Nothing can beat a movie or a three-episode anime arc with Lugia, though.

Mega Rayquaza vs. Normal Forme Deoxys. This form also has
the ability to transform its tentacles - coiled in a double helix, like
a DNA strand - into a full-fledged hand, apparently. Huh, I had
never even noticed that, to be honest. 

In the competitive scene, Deoxys is kind of a weird Pokémon to use. It's too strong for the OU, UU, RU and NU tiers, but it is too feeble to use in the Uber tier. Let's start with Normal Forme Deoxys, who has base 150 offensive stats and base 150 speed, which is nothing to sneeze at. Though its base 50 defenses are complete and utter shit and it will hardly be able to take a hit, unless you invest some EVs in HP and either defense or special defense, which is hardly worth the hassle. You'll be better off with Attack Forme Deoxys, then, who's sporting off-the-chart base 180 offensive stats and base 150 speed, but with even more abysmal defenses than Normal Forme. Attack Forme can dish out heavy damage really fast (and its diverse movepool sure helps with that), but it's a certainty it gets knocked out at the first opportunity your opponent gets, so you might want to give it a Focus Sash to ensure it can live at least one hit at full HP. Or just give it a Life Orb to enhance its damage output as much as possible, I really couldn't care less. Speed Forme Deoxys looks like it's the most frail one, but it actually has very well-rounded offensive and defensive stats as well as excellent base 180 speed. However, its less-than-stellar base 50 HP stat - which every Deoxys form has, by the way - doesn't back up its decent defenses and its offensive stats are a little bit too mediocre to do much with them. Speed Forme is mainly there as a Stealth Rock and Spikes setter and be gone from the battlefield as soon as possible, and even though Smogon's recommended moveset also contains Taunt and either Magic Coat or Skill Swap, I'd really swap one out - preferably Taunt, because there are plenty of other Pokémon who can learn that move - for a strong offensive move like Psycho Boost. Lastly, we have Defense Forme Deoxys, who is really made to act as a supportive wall; just give it Stealth Rock or Spikes to set up some kind of entry hazard, teach it Toxic and Recover so that it can wear down opposing Pokémon while healing itself up, and slap Knock Off on it to annoy opponents that use Pokémon that rely on their held items. Although its HP is still horrible, its base 160 defenses ensure that it can survive at least a couple of hits, especially when it's holding the Leftovers to heal a little of its HP every turn.

This portrayal of Deoxys in a more realistic style is actually totally creepy.

Deoxys in general has a wide offensive and support movepool, with even set-up moves as event-only moves available to it. Even the different forms have slightly different level-up movepools. With the right moves and EV investment on the right form, it can be a force to be reckoned with or a tough cookie to take down. Design-, flavor- and battle-wise, Deoxys is a weird Pokémon, but nevertheless it has never appealed to me as much as it probably should have. It's a nice and clever Pokémon, with its name also being an abbreviation of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and all, but not awesome enough for me to actually care about it; it definitely doesn't have the cuteness of Pokémon like Mew and Jirachi either, and, above all, I never really had the chance to obtain one in the first place. The first Deoxys in my possession was the one I caught on my Alpha Sapphire cartridge. Go figure.

And that's it, then. We're done with Hoenn now, and I'll be talking about the Sinnoh starters before you know it. Also, you'd better brace yourselves, because I'm gonna be talking about my all-time favorite Pokémon very soon!

Rating: 4/5

#385: Jirachi

I don't know what the background is supposed to be exactly, but
Jirachi sure seems happy about it. 

With all the violence coming from Kyogre, Groudon and Rayquaza, it's a relief to be reviewing something that's supposed to be so soothing, so serene. Jirachi doesn't have an ounce of evil in its entire body, and it is even said to grant three wishes to one single person if they write them on the notes attached to its head. That is to say, it does so after it awakens after a long period of hibernation. You see, this Pokémon hibernates enveloped in a tough crystalline shell for extensive periods of time and awakens only seven days every thousand years or if it's sung to by a voice of purity, absorbing the energy it needs to hibernate through the third eye on its chest during the short period it is awake. It can't materialize an object that is desired from a wish out of nowhere, though; rather, it teleports the desired object to the person who made the wish. Quite obviously, Jirachi is based on the concept of "wishing upon a star" - though these so-called stars that are being wished upon are usually not actual stars but a phenomenon called shooting stars, the visible path of meteoroids as they enters Earth's atmosphere, becoming meteors - which is why its body is star-shaped and why its name can basically be translated to 'wish wish', coming from the Russian zhelat' (желать) and the Japanese sachi. In addition to that, the tags on Jirachi's head are a reference to the paper strips called tanzaku that are written on the festival of Tanabata, also known as the Star Festival. It is derived from the Chinese Qixi Festival and celebrates the meeting of the deities and lovers Orihime and Hikoboshi - represented by the stars Altair and Vega - who are separated by the Milky Way and are allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar.

I have to say this is an interesting rendition of Van Gogh's De sterrennacht.

In fact, Jirachi is often distributed in Japan in celebration of Tanabata, being given away every year from 2004 to 2009 and again from 2013 to 2016. From 2013 on, Tanabata Jirachi have even been known to know moves that Jirachi could normally not learn: the 2013 one has Draco Meteor - a Tutor move exclusive to dragon-type Pokémon - and Meteor Mash, the 2014 one is shiny and knows Moonblast, the 2015 one knows Heart Stamp and Play Rough, and the 2016 one has Meteor Mash in addition to the moves it can already learn.

Sweet little cutie is sleepy. 

And those moves are honestly being used, too. Being a so-called 'pixie' Pokémon, Jirachi has base stats of 100 across the board, making it suitable for nearly everything, including an offensive approach on both sides of the spectrum. On top of that, Serene Grace is an ability that will double the chance of a move having an additional effect, which means a move like Heart Stamp will now have a 60% flinch rate instead of 30%, and so forth. That also means people abuse the hell out of certain moves, including Iron Head and the before-mentioned Heart Stamp, just because there's a high chance the opponent won't be able to move that turn. Easy knock-outs for the win. It's not hard to fill up the other two spots of a physical moveset, either: Jirachi has access to Play Rough, Zen Headbutt, U-Turn, Drain Punch and the elemental punches. Meteor Mash is an option, but only if you are willing to let go of Heart Stamp and Play Rough and go with Zen Headbutt and no fairy-type move at all. Alternatively, a specially offensive moveset isn't unthinkable. Charge Beam will now always cause Jirachi's special attack to go up by one stage due to Serene Grace, which makes it a dangerous potential sweeper. Its special movepool is wider and more diverse than its physical movepool as well, having access to nifty moves like Moonblast, Psychic, Flash Cannon, Psyshock, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Icy Wind, Hidden Power, Signal Beam and Dazzling Gleam. Obviously, the required nature for physical Jirachi is a Jolly or an Adamant nature, while special Jirachi prefer Timid or Modest; and on that note, physical Jirachi prefer a Choice Band and special Jirachi the Choice Specs, while both kinds could hold a Life Orb, a Choice Scarf, an Air Balloon, an Expert Belt or even something else.

Jirachi levitating under a starry sky, witnessing a meteor shower. 

Of course, an offensive approach is not the only option to go for: lots of people actually also use Jirachi defensively, with support move combos such as Substitute/Toxic, Toxic/Protect, Rest/Sleep Talk and Wish/Protect as well as other miscellaneous moves like Thunder Wave, Magic Coat, Stealth Rock and Healing Wish. Jirachi is just so fucking diverse. Physical attacker, special attacker, mixed attacker, defensive pivot, support Pokémon, offensive tank... you name it, and Jirachi can pull it off. Its steel/psychic typing definitely helps a bunch, as steel is one of the most defensive types out there, with resistances to 10 different types and even an immunity to poison. This is what makes Jirachi a better tank than, say, Mew or Celebi, because the latter gets bodied by bug-type moves and the former doesn't resist as much as Jirachi does. It goes without saying that it is far from clever to use an offensive nature on a defensive Jirachi, but I do recommend letting it hold the Leftovers to extend its time on the battlefield.

Jirachi even got its own movie with Pokémon - Jirachi: Wish Maker.

Jirachi is certainly an interesting Pokémon, and I don't think we had anything like it before design- and flavor-wise. It's strong, defensive, diverse and very cute and I honestly think this Pokémon appeals to a broad audience. It's not quite one of my favorite Pokémon yet (although it's a close call), but it is definitely one of the better Hoenn legendaries - I'm not going to call the other legendaries 'mythical', even though that would be the correct term to use in Jirachi's case - and biased me is just giving this thing half a star extra because of its steel typing.

Rating a Pokémon by using stars has never been so appropriate as now.

Rating: 4.5/5

#384: Rayquaza

I have no idea whether this piece of art is actually official, but
Rayquaza sure as hell looks savage here.

Oh man, I don't even know where to start with this one. There is a whole lot to be said about Rayquaza and the majority of that is dedicated to how fucking awesome this goddamn thing actually is. I mean, if you manage to break up Groudon and Kyogre's apocalyptic confrontation just by showing up and roar a little, as was demonstrated in Pokémon Emerald, you deserve respect. It was literally all Rayquaza had to do, meaning Groudon and Kyogre are probably scared shitless of this guy. And let's be honest here: Rayquaza looks like a wise old dragon with a certain degree of authority over its minions, while managing to maintain a look that says it will show you no mercy. Its Mega is even worse, mind you - or better, in this case, as all of the additional horns, orbs and glowing tendrils actually give it more grace, beauty and an air of importance, power and might. That's a difficult feat to pull off when too many additional doodads on stronger forms of certain Pokémon such as fusions and Mega evolutions are sometimes regarded as redundant or occasionally make them look overdesigned. White and Black Kyurem are good examples of that, but Zoptimus Prygarde probably takes the cake. I love the Transformers movies, and I have fond memories of the times when I still enjoyed Power Rangers, but creating a Pokémon that looks like an Autobot or a Megazord is really pushing it a bit, Game Freak. And remember when I talked about Mega Venusaur's butt flower way back when? Yeah, I already regret bringing that up again...

Fortunately, no such fate has befallen Rayquaza, and it so happens this thing is the one I'm actually talking about, so it's no use to keep lingering in such negativity.

I used a GIF of Kyogre from the same artist over a week ago, just because I think
this guy's style is just so freaking awesome! 

Rayquaza's origins lie in the Hebrew legend of Ziz, the unconquerable primal master of the sky, as opposed to Leviathan being the primal master of the sea and Behemoth being the primal master of the land. While Rayquaza has significant dominance over Kyogre and Groudon and is able to break them up when they're fighting, Ziz seems to be an equal of Leviathan and Behemoth rather than their 'master', meaning Game Freak and Nintendo have shown some imagination in favor of Emerald's storyline. In fact, Rayquaza's signature ability Air Lock eliminates the effect of weather conditions, and back in the day that rendered Kyogre's ability Drizzle and Groudon's ability Drought completely useless. But Ziz is also often depicted as a giant griffin-like bird, which Rayquaza definitely has nothing to do with, and this means it is most probably inspired by other mythical creatures aside from just Ziz. Looking at its dragon typing, it may well be based on the lindwyrm, in British heraldry a two-limbed and wingless dragon with a serpentine body. The word is actually a cognate, deriving from the Norwegian linnorm, the German Lindwurm and the Swedish lindorm (all meaning 'dragon'), as well as the Danish lindorm ('serpent'). It's a little confusing, because in Norwegian heraldry the lindorm also exist, but rather than a serpent or a dragon in general it's actually the same as a wyvern is in British heraldry.

Mega Rayquaza hanging around in what is apparently the
stratosphere.

Not that any of this can be found in Rayquaza's name. It is probably a reference to raqiya, the Hebrew word for 'firmament', which in biblical cosmology is the structure above the atmosphere, conceived as a vast solid dome. Speaking of which, Rayquaza's Japanese name is the same as in most other languages and the word combination of retsu ('violent' or 'furious'), kū ('sky') and za ('seat' or 'location') can be taken to mean "one that sits in the ferocious heavens". Being a dragon/flying type, it makes sense; however, it's most likely a reference to Rayquaza being able to live in the ozone layer for hundreds of millions of years, where it feeds on water and meteoroids. This is actively demonstrated in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire's Delta Episode, a post-game episode in which it's your objective to prevent a meteorite from colliding with Earth. In order to do so, a character called Zinnia (who's a bitch, by the way) summons Rayquaza and tries to pursuade it to Mega-evolve using an organ inside its body filled with energy from the meteoroids it eats as it flies through the stratosphere. Hence why Zinnia stole all of the Key Stones she could find. The energy stored within this organ is practically nonexistent at that point, however, which is why it devours the Meteorite the player character had obtained and safely stored in its bag after their encounter with Team Magma/Team Aqua at Mt. Chimney earlier in the game. A battle with Rayquaza ensues, and you have to catch it in order to make a trip to space on Mega Rayquaza's back and destroy the meteorite threatening Earth.

And hidden within that meteorite is... well, I'll talk about that when I get to the last Pokémon in the Hoenn Pokédex.

Don't fuck with Mega Rayquaza, because it'll screw you over big time.

Alternatively, Rayquaza's name could be a combination of 'ray' (a term in geometry of which I don't understand the definition at all) and 'quasar'. The latter is an abbreviation of 'quasi-stellar object', an active galactic nucleus - called that way because it occurs in the center of a galaxy - consisting of a supermassive black hole surrounded by an orbiting disk of gas. Quasars have a very high luminosity - the total amount of energy emitted by stars, galaxies or other astronomical objects per unit time - and because they were first identified as sources of radio-wave emission and resembled point-like stars in photographic images at visible wavelengths, the term 'quasar' originated as a contraction of 'quasi-stellar radio source'. It's not as if any of this doesn't make a lick of sense, and Rayquaza is very powerful in its own merits, but I doubt it can be considered the center of a galaxy or something like that. Space always kind of intrigued me as a child, so it's still cool to learn about all this stuff.

A shiny Rayquaza in Pokémon the Movie: Hoopa and the Clash of Ages.

Again, like I did with Kyogre and Groudon, I will omit Rayquaza's competitive capabilities from this article - that is to say, you won't see any suggestions for possible movesets here. I mean, you can just slap any move on it and wreak havoc, especially in Mega Rayquaza's case: because it doesn't require a Mega Stone for you to Mega-evolve Rayquaza, Mega Rayquaza can hold something else, like a Choice Band or a Life Orb or any other item that either increases its attacking stats or strengthens its moves. Therefore, it was even banned from Smogon's Uber tier, being the only Pokémon to date to have been banned from being used in a competitive setting within Smogon and Pokémon Showdown at all. That's how strong it really is, especially when you consider its ability Delta Stream eliminates all weaknesses it would otherwise have had as a flying-type (because it's a dragon type, it is still normally weak to ice, but this makes electric-type moves not very effective now) and prevents all kinds of weather from taking effect apart from the Desolate Land and Primordial Sea abilities.

I already thought Rayquaza was a very cool Pokémon, but I've really taken a liking to it when its Mega evolution was revealed. It's one of the most most well-designed Megas out there; so beautiful, so elegant, so powerful. And damn, its shiny. Black shiny Pokémon are almost always some of the best shinies out there, and Rayquaza is absolutely no exception. Everything summarized, Rayquaza's design, flavor and origins are just so awesome I'm giving it a perfect rating.

Rating: 5/5

#383: Groudon

Oh yeah, Groudon looks scary, alright. And all they had to do
 here was copy and paste Groudon's segmented red plates on a
picture of a tyrannosaurus rex from Jurassic Park. Genius.

Let's cut to the chase here: Groudon isn't as interesting as Kyogre by a long shot. It looks like it is barely able to move, but its apparent stiffness isn't accompanied by Kyogre's beauty and grace. This former gold-medal heavyweight (unfortunately for Groudon, Gen. VII Pokémon Celesteela and - of all things - Cosmoem are now the heaviest Pokémon in existence) is just a giant dinosaur monster controlling the land and the sun, which is exactly why it is sought after by Team Magma. Their leader Maxie's objective in Ruby is to expand the landmass in the world to create an ideal living place for both Pokémon and humans alike, although this was slightly altered in Omega Ruby, in which Team Magma wishes to put an end to the misguided ideal of coexistence and expand the land to give humanity more space on which to build and develop civilization. This puts them in direct opposition to Team Aqua, whose leader Archie wants to awaken Kyogre to increase the amount of water in the world to create a situation in which human beings and Pokémon live in perfect harmony with each other. Of course, Archie's ideals in Sapphire are largely the same as Maxie's in Ruby; the only thing that differs is their means of execution. In Alpha Sapphire Team Aqua's motivations have been significantly altered, with Archie now wanting to erase human civilization from the planet by expanding the oceans, so that Pokémon can live untainted by humanity's progress. In both occasions, the player character is there to save the day, so the NPCs in the Pokémon world really have absolutely nothing to worry about, ever.

I honestly intended to include this part in Kyogre's entry, but I wanted something to talk about in Groudon's as well, so here you go.

Primal Groudon is coming to get you.

Whereas Kyogre is based on the Hebrew legend of Leviathan, Groudon is based on its counterpart Behemoth. It is said that at the end of times the sea deity Leviathan and the land deity Behemoth would engage in a titanic battle that would kill them both. While Behemoth is often depicted as some kind of warthog- or hippopotamus-like creature, which - and let's be honest here - doesn't sound nearly as intimidating as a giant sea serpent, it is considered the unconquerable primal master of the land. This also manifests itself in-game in Groudon's former signature ability Drought and its Primal form's ability Desolate Land: Groudon has the power to scatter rain clouds and make water evaporate with light and heat, which is why it brought down droughts in ancient times in order to save people who had been suffering from terrible floods. It is said to have created the continents by causing volcanic eruptions, and much like Kyogre resting in a deep oceanic trench, Groudon slumbers in magma in the profound depths of the Earth, even though this seems strange because regular Groudon doesn't have the fire type at first. Additionally, fire-type moves deal normal damage to Groudon in-game, which contradicts everything it stands for.

Groudon as seen in Pokémon the Movie: Hoopa and the Clash of Ages, emerging
from glowing magma. 

Groudon does get the fire typing on top of its primary ground typing upon Primal Reversion. Usually, this type combination would make Primal Groudon four times weak to water, but its ability Desolate Land summons a sun so scorching hot that all water-type moves evaporate before they have a chance to get into contact with it. Reversely, Primal Kyogre's ability Primordial Sea douses any fire-type moves before they'll be able to as much as touch it, which... isn't actually all that helpful, because Primal Kyogre is a pure water type and resists fire in the first place. Way to go, Game Freak. At least the effects of these abilities last for as long as Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre are on the battlefield. Frankly, Primal Groudon looks like it's much more true to its original purpose than Primal Kyogre is, with the magma flowing through its entire body and all. This magma burns with such an extreme temperature that its body is always shimmering with the haze of its heat, which is to be expected from a creature slumbering so close to the Earth's core, which is proved to be the hottest fucking place on Earth. Now, that's more like it, Game Freak.

A robotic Groudon built by a maniac in Pokémon - Jirachi: Wish Maker.

Like I did in Kyogre's entry, I won't delve into Groudon's competitive utility too much; it is in Smogon's Uber tier for a reason, and with Swords Dance and a couple of strong offensive moves it can absolutely fucking destroy anything in its path. Even Primal Kyogre doesn't stand much of a chance, unless it is switched in at a later point of the match than Primal Groudon, in which case its Primordial Sea ability activates and the effects of Desolate Land fade away, although the exact oppositie happens when Primal Groudon is switched in last.

(Disclaimer: I meant to say that the effects of Desolate Land overturn the effects of Primordial Sea when Primal Groudon is switched in later than Primal Kyogre, not that absolutely nothing would happen when it enters the battlefield.)

While regular Groudon doesn't pique my interest all that much, its Primal form is a lot more fascinating. Not only does it differ much more than its regular form than Primal Kyogre does, it actually gains something of an advantage over its counterpart as well, something that wasn't the case for at least twelve years. Kyogre is still my favorite Hoenn legendary alongside Rayquaza, so it's useless to say that I'm not entirely happy with that. Still, I think Groudon is worthy of being granted a 4.5-star rating nowadays, something I wouldn't have done a couple of years ago.

Rating: 4.5/5