#100 - #101: Voltorb & Electrode

Misty's Togepi actually befriended a Voltorb in the anime
episode "The Underground Round Up"; season 2, episode 34.

Somebody at Game Freak must have thought, "Hey, let's make a Pokémon that disguises itself as a Poké Ball and blows itself up for no goddamn reason at all."

Sounds fun.

And so Voltorb came into existence. And indeed, Voltorb do look like Poké Balls, which they demonstrate in the games as well. Generally, Poké Ball icons in the overworld are handy items you can pick up from the ground, but you might just get tricked and encounter a Voltorb when running about in the power plant (or New Mauville, for that matter). Incidentally, Voltorb's shiny form looks like a Great Ball, an upgraded Poké Ball. Coincidence? I think not. These Pokémon were first seen in a plant where modern Poké Balls were invented and are thought to have been created by being exposed to a strong energy pulse. This theory is only strengthened by the fact that it was discovered that Voltorb's components cannot be found in nature and thus it is a man-made Pokémon.

A Poké Ball among the Poké Balls.

But that's not all: Voltorb can evolve... into a reverse Poké Ball. That's right, Electrode is just an upside-down Voltorb, with just one difference: it has a mouth. Even Electrode sometimes gets mistaken for an item, despite it being almost 4 feet tall. It is known for drifting with the wind when it is full of stored electricity (which they absorb from power plants where fresh electricity is being generated, often causing blackouts), despite it weighing nearly 150 pounds. Other than that, Voltorb and Electrode are very much alike when it comes to their flavor: both Pokémon have the tendency to explode with very little or no stimulus (the slightest shock could trigger an enormous explosion), the only difference being that Electrode sometimes does it to entertain itself when it is bored. That's one suicidal bomb ball if I've ever seen one. Yeah, we all know the struggle of trying to catch an Electrode when suddenly it blows up in your fucking face.

Ken Sugimori's official art of Electrode.

However, Electrode really doesn't need the moves Self-Destruct or Explode, because its powerful (!) base 50 attack stat doesn't let it make good use of them. Electrode is a fast special attacker instead, even though it's not strictly a glass cannon: its base 80 special attack is okay, but it isn't something to write home about. Being the second fastest out of all non-legendary Pokémon, it's its speed what makes Electrode worthwile. It is able to set up the rain quickly with Rain Dance (and a Damp Rock attached to it, to extend the duration of the rain) and abuse a perfectly accurate Thunder, which would otherwise have only 70% accuracy. Taunt is useful to prevent opponents from setting up with stat-increasing moves, entry-hazard moves or moves that induce other weather conditions, and Volt Switch allows Electrode to get the hell out of the battle if it needs to, while still inflicting some damage. A Choice Specs-holding, Modest-natured Electrode might be an option as well, but it doesn't have all that many useful special moves to begin with. A staple move would be Thunderbolt, with Signal Beam and any type of Hidden Power as back-up. And the fourth move? Uhm... Thunder? Maybe Mirror Coat if you feel confident enough that your Electrode can endure a special-based move first? I don't know; these are literally all good special-based moves it has access to. Too bad Electrode doesn't have much offensive presence, but at least it has three interesting abilities. Soundproof is the preferred and most useful one, because it negates the effects of all sound-based moves, including the ones that would normally damage Electrode. Static paralyzes a foe upon making contact and its hidden ability Aftermath causes the foe to take some damage when Electrode is knocked out with a direct attack. Nice abilities, but they're easy to get around.

We're so ballin'.

I don't know whether I should see Electrode as extremely unimaginative or the other way around. All I can say is that Electrode didn't disappoint me when I used it in a playthrough once, and one of the reasons is that it had no weaknesses. Normally, Electrode is weak to ground-type moves, but as these are somewhat easy to predict, I found myself evading many Earthquakes by setting up a Magnet Rise. This move lets Electrode levitate by using electrically generated magnetism for five turns, making it immune to ground-type attacks. Heh, I had so much fun with that. Just the fact that I used one in the first place is an indication that I don't hate Voltorb and Electrode in the slightest; on the contrary, these short-fused Pokémon have very interesting characteristics in my opinion. Besides, you can't say nobody put some thought into their designs. If only they had somehow executed them in a different way, because now they just seem lazy while this is not really the case at all. How about a 3.5-star rating, huh?

Rating: 3.5/5

#98 - #99: Krabby & Kingler

Ash's frothing Krabby in the anime. 

Game Freak are starting to contradict themselves here.

Why define Krabby as a 'River Crab Pokémon' and make its Pokédex entries say that they are most commonly found on beaches, where it burrows in the sand to create a hole to live in? Okay, Krabby are perfectly able to live in fresh water, but that is not the point. One could argue that beaches can be found along lakes and rivers as well, but most people associate a beach with the seashore, so I'm going to assume that the idiots at Game Freak don't have such a different thinking process. Aside from that, Krabby is not an interesting Pokémon in the slightest. The most notable thing to mention about Krabby is that it creates foam from its mouth, which it uses to shroud its body in order to make opponents think it is bigger than it actually is (which I'm sure is the trait of a certain real-life crab, just like its disability to walk sideways when it loses a pincer). Never mind its ability to regenerate its pincers when they get damaged during battles; some real-life crabs - you guessed it - can do the exact same thing.

Some nice fan art of Kingler holding its baby Krabby in its oversized pincher.

So what about Krabby's evolution? Well, Kingler's Pokédex entries only underpin my theory that the beaches mentioned in Krabby's entries are actually located at seas, because Kingler usually live along the edge of oceans. So, even though Krabby's classification as the 'River Crab' Pokémon is not strictly incorrect as it can actually be found along the edge of rivers, 'Crab Pokémon' would have sufficed. These kinds of inconsistencies really bug me for some reason. What doesn't bug me is Kingler's flavor. This Pokémon's claws, especially its larger left one (Kingler's name is actually a portmanteau of two crab species, namely the king crab and the fiddler crab, the latter of which actually has a larger left pincher), can pinch with a crushing strength of 10,000 horsepower and are even able to pry open Shellder and Cloyster's diamond-hard shells. The most interesting thing is that Kingler's left pincher is a hindrance as well: it is so large and heavy that Kingler can barely lift it, it causes balancing and aiming issues, and it causes Kingler to become fatigued quickly from continuous use.

Awesome realistic interpretation of Kingler!

Fortunately, this claw doesn't get in the way in competitive play. Well, except when you say that its claw actually makes Kingler slow, but its base 75 speed is not that bad; plus, there are Pokémon that are much slower than Kingler, so this is hardly a valid argument. Even though a Scarved, Jolly-natured Kingler might be an option within the Smogon tier it resides in (the unofficial PU tier), this comes at the expense of some of Kingler's strength. Its magnificent base 130 attack stat allows it to hit HARD, so might as well make the most of it by running an Adamant Kingler with a Life Orb, the Hyper Cutter ability (prevents the opponent from lowering its attack somehow) and the moves Agility and Swords Dance. Agility raises Kingler's speed by two stages, while Swords Dance does the same with its attack stat and Knock Off and Crabhammer (the strongest physical water-type move in the games, which can only be learned by the Krabby, Corphish and Clauncher lines) provide for excellent type coverage. Superpower might also be an option, should you want some more type coverage, but be cautious, as this move lowers Kingler's attack and defense stats and those are undoubtedly its best stats.

Kingler is blessed with three outstanding abilities, but as mentioned previously, Hyper Cutter is the best one. Shell Armor prevents it from getting critical hits, but its low special defense and HP might make it useless, and Sheer Force removes additional effects of certain moves in exchange for a little more power, but the only good physical move Kingler learns that benefits from that is Rock Slide, which it isn't gonna use anyway. Well, at least not in the competitive scene.

More fan art of Kingler.

And here's the thing: I actually like Kingler's strength, design and flavor and I would love to use it in a playthrough once. Should that happen, a Sheer Force Kingler with Swords Dance, Crabhammer, X-Scissor and Rock Slide might be a good option, considering that Kingler probably won't outspeed half of the Pokémon it encounters and thus won't make opponents flinch all that often. Sheer Force is Kingler's hidden ability, however, so it might be a difficult task to get one with that ability, but even without it, Kingler makes for an excellent Pokémon that hopefully won't disappoint me. For now, I'll give Kingler 4.5 stars, but who knows how much I'll like it in the future after using it once. Who knows...

Rating: 4.5/5

#96 - #97: Drowzee & Hypno

Two pieces of TCG art of Drowzee.

Sometimes I think Pokémon isn't meant for kids at all, because Game Freak come up with the scariest Pokédex entries for certain Pokémon.

The Pokémon I'm going to talk about right now are good examples of that.

Drowzee is a tapir Pokémon that is based on the Japanese myth of the baku, tapir-like creatures that are known for eating people's bad dreams. Drowzee basically does the same thing: it is able to put people to sleep and sense their dreams with its big nose, and will then eat those dreams through the victim's itching nose. Unlike the baku, Drowzee prefers fun dreams over nightmares, as the latter make it ill, and it will rarely eat the dreams of adults because children's dreams are seemingly tastier. They're TASTIER. Drowzee, you're already a creep for being some sort of dream pedophile, but the fact that you remember every dream you've eaten and can even pass them on to someone who sleeps by you is even creepier. Strangely enough, Drowzee is NOT able to learn Dream Eater in the video games; at least not by level-up. A few other Pokémon are, however, but the only one who can learn this particular move that somewhat matches its flavor is Darkrai. Drowzee, on the other hand, learns it through TM85 instead, which can be taught to numerous Pokémon that way. Game Freak, what up wit dat?

Rare Candy Treatment had the same issue with Drowzee not being able to learn
Dream Eater naturally. The only inconsistency is that Drowzee actually eats dreams
through the victim's nose rather than the ear. 

Anyway, if you thought Drowzee was scary, you ain't seen shit yet. You see, when Drowzee reaches level 26 it evolves into Hypno. That Pokémon is based on the same mythological monster its pre-evolution is based on (although Hypno looks more like a combination between a hypnotist and a proboscis monkey rather than a tapir, in my opinion), except it carries a glittering pendulum that it rocks at a steady rhythm to lull people into a deep hypnosis or put them to sleep in order to feast on their dreams, polishing its pendulum while it awaits its prey. But here's the thing: there once was an incident in which a Hypno took away a child it hypnotized. It's a KIDNAPPER! Game Freak, are you trying to let kids have a good time playing Pokémon or scare the shit out of them? Well, you can't say it's not an original concept to work with, at least I'll grant them that.

Hypno hypnotizing a child, which can be seen in the reflection of
his pendulum.

Too bad they didn't do anything in the video games to match its flavor. Okay, they let the player return a child who was kidnapped by a Hypno and taken to the nearby Berry Forest on Three Island (one of the Sevii Islands) in FireRed and LeafGreen, but I still don't get this Dream Eater thing. Not that Hypno needs that move anyway, because it will have to put the foe to sleep first and the only way it can do that is by using the low-accuracy move Hypnosis. Oh hey, looky looky at that: a flavor-matching move! Alright, enough with the sarcasm; let's see what Hypno is used for in competitive play. Its highest stats are its special defense and HP, so it won't come as a surprise that it is used a specially defensive wall. Combined with hold item Leftovers (to heal some of its HP after every turn) and ability Insomnia (so that Hypno can't be put to sleep) that can be accomplished very easily, especially combined with the Wish/Protect combo and a status-inflicting move like Thunder Wave or Toxic. Of course, Hypno should have an attacking move as well, which comes down to either Seismic Toss, which does damage equal to the user's level and is used against Pokémon that resist its STAB move Psychic, or Psychic itself. As for when using Hypno in a playthrough: it can learn Nasty Plot, which sharply raises its special attack, so a moveset consisting of Nasty Plot, Psychic, Shadow Ball and Dazzling Gleam is perfect. Its base 73 special attack (and physical attack, for that matter) might be a bit too low, but at least it's not entirely useless if you use at least one Nasty Plot.

I have never used Hypno before, and I don't think I want to in the future. It's not that I'm appalled by its characteristics or something (on the contrary, I quite find them some of the most interesting in the games), but Hypno is one of those Pokémon that has never really appealed to me, either. Aside from that, Hypno does have an interesting design and flavor, so I'll grant it a well-deserved 3.5-star rating.

Rating: 3.5/5

#95, #208: Onix & Steelix

The Crystal Onix from "The Crystal Onix", the 87th
episode of the Pokémon anime. 

No, I am NOT going to talk about Onix. I refuse.

Shit, I said I'd talk about all Pokémon, didn't I?

Well, to start with, Onix's stats are pretty terrible: except for its defense stat, its stats are all booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere. And although you can't say I hate or despise it, it is such an uninteresting Pokémon with an even more uninteresting flavor to it. A giant ground snake that digs tunnels? Yeah, I'm not impressed. Okay, it has a magnet in its brain that prevents it from losing its sense of direction while tunneling, but that is pretty much it. The only thing about Onix that might be interesting enough is the Crystal Onix episode from the Orange Archipelago era. In this episode, Ash, Misty and Tracey end up on Sunburst Island, which is famous for its artists and glassblowers. They meet Mateo, a shopkeeper whose products are of lower quality than the sculptures of other glass makers on the island. In order to find inspiration, Mateo seeks to capture the legendary Crystal Onix, but after they find it and battle it, he realizes that just seeing the special Onix has inspired him. The most curious thing is - despite the fact that Onix are rock/ground-type Pokémon and are thus four times weak to water - that the Crystal Onix can withstand water because of its glass skin. It is weak to fire instead, which regular Onix resist.

Some pretty good papercraft of Steelix.

But that is just one anime episode and doesn't prevent Onix from still being an awful Pokémon stat-wise. However, when you give Onix a Metal Coat to hold and trade it to another game, it evolves into a much better and more fascinating Pokémon: Steelix! Steelix's diamond-hard and magnetic steel body can resist heat (despite it still being weak to fire in the video games) and makes it able to dig towards the Earth's core. The most interesting thing is the change in its primary typing: all of the iron in the soil and rocks Steelix has swallowed as an Onix have accumulated and have caused its body to compress underground, which is why its body is harder than diamond or any other metal. Steelix is, as its name suggests, a primary steel type, as opposed to Onix being a primary rock type. This comes with a more-than-excellent defense stat, a large set of resistances (eight, to be exact) and two immunities (Steelix is still part ground, which makes it immune to electric-type moves). Game Freak even blessed Steelix with the most awesome Mega evolution I have seen thus far.

Mega Steelix's official art.

And that undoubtedly makes Steelix the best powerhouse and defensive wall in the RU tier, and maybe the best overall, barring any legendary Pokémon. Upon Mega-evolving, its already outstanding defense stat becomes even more outstanding, and it even gets a little special bulk behind it. Its very decent base 95 special defense stat gives you the option to run a Steelix with a Careful nature or invest in special defense EVs (or both), as Mega Steelix's physical defense is high enough as is. Being perfectly able to take a hit, Mega Steelix is arguably the best Stealth Rock user, and being the fifth heaviest Pokémon in the game, Heavy Slam - one of its staple moves - does massive damage to most Pokémon. Its other staple move is its STAB Earthquake, which hits Pokémon that are resistant to steel for neutral damage (water) or super-effective damage (fire, electric, steel). This is where you choose to have Toxic to whittle down physically bulkier foes, Roar to force opponents to switch so that they can't set up with stat-increasing moves, or Stone Edge, Crunch, Aqua Tail or even Iron Head/Iron Tail for coverage or more reliable damage. You can even go for Sandstorm, because steel-, ground- and rock-type moves get a 30% boost from Mega Steelix's ability Sand Force when a sandstorm is raging on the battlefield.

And while we're at it, a regular Steelix (before you Mega-evolve it) should have Sturdy, which prevents it from getting OHKO'd while at full health. Rock Head prevents recoil damage, but the only move Steelix gets that benefits from that is Double-Edge. Lastly, its hidden ability Sheer Force ignores additional effects of move (like flinching or stat reduction) of moves for a little extra power, but you want Steelix to Mega-evolve as soon as possible anyway, so you'll barely have the chance to make use of it.

Wow, this piece of fan art of Jasmine and her Mega Steelix is GORGEOUS!

I absolutely love, love, LOVE Mega Steelix and it is by far my favorite Mega evolution. It always looked like some kind of mineral-like spikes were about to protrude from Steelix's body, which they technically already did, but finally Mega-evolving has caused its cells to crystallize and made the prism-like crystalline spikes to burst from it. What's more, Mega Steelix now has its own gravitational orbit, causing metallic-looking scraps to constantly rotate around its neck. These scraps act to its movements and change position when it attacks. I mean, how cool is that? To top all that, Steelix's polished steel body makes its shiny form look more like actual gold, which makes it one of the most effective shinies to date. After all this praise, it probably comes at no surprise that I will give Steelix a perfect rating, just for being a perfect Pokémon.

Rating: 5/5

#92 - #94: Gastly, Haunter & Gengar

Now this is a nice family picture. I just think the photographer
needs to be wary of the Shadow Ball that Haunter (middle) is
about to throw at them.

The first two generations didn't really have many good ghost-type Pokémon. In fact, they didn't have many ghost types at all, the only ones being the Gastly line (Gen. I) and Misdreavus (Gen. II). Also, ghost always did physical damage prior to the physical/special split in Diamond and Pearl (this also applies to poison, which is Gastly, Haunter and Gengar's secondary type), so you had to teach your ghost-type Pokémon other moves that aren't of their respective types, as the Gastly line and Misdreavus are mostly special-based Pokémon and can't really do anything useful with their mediocre attack stats. Fortunately, Gastly and its evolutions could pull that off non-STAB special moves well prior to Gen. IV, thanks to their excellent special attack stats. I'll get back to that later, but I just wanted to let you know how much better Gengar has become since Diamond and Pearl (while some Pokémon, on the other hand, have lost their oomph), especially since it is capable of using strong special-based STAB moves like Shadow Ball and Sludge Bomb. And to be honest, if a Pokémon isn't able to properly use moves of the only typing it has, or at least one of its typings if it's a dual-type, it is not a good Pokémon in my opinion. Gengar and its pre-evolutions are good, though, and being the only ghost-type Pokémon in the first generation, they must have interesting characteristics. Let's get into this.

Gastly.

As its name suggests, Gastly's body is predominantly made of gas; 95%, to be exact. This feature makes Gastly transparent so that it can float through solid walls, as befits a ghost, and sometimes even invisible. Moreover, its gas is toxic and it can induce fainting and suffocation, and is capable of enveloping elephants and similar big-ass mammals. It has even shown willingness to preserve or pass on memories of deceased humans. But where Gastly is more of a playful Pokémon, its evolution Haunter actually takes lives, plotting to kill anyone that comes near the dark place where it is hiding. You'd think Haunter is visible because it looks more solid than Gastly, but Haunter is still as gaseous as its pre-evolution and silently stalks its victim to steal its life force with a lick from its gaseous tongue. This inflicts convulsions that persist until the victim dies. That's why Haunter is possibly based on the dila, a spirit that, according to Filipino mythology, passes through walls then licks certain humans to death. That is lurid and creepy, although the anime has had to tone that down a little bit by letting Haunter's victims be paralyzed rather than convulsive and let them be victims of a prank rather than Haunter's prey. Maybe you should only go outside at night when it's windy, because both Gastly and Haunter are very light (in fact, they're the lightest Pokémon in existence) and are easily blown away by strong winds.

Awesomely eerie fan art of (shiny?) Haunter. 

Weirdly, though, Gengar doesn't seem to be as light as Haunter. It weighs almost 90 pounds, which indicates that Gengar actually becomes solid, as opposed to Haunter when it evolves from Gastly. Also, Gengar isn't as cruel as Haunter. Sure, it enjoys scaring people shitless by laying a curse on them or pretending to be their shadow (there's even a theory going around that Gengar is Clefable's ghost or shadow because they share some features, as I wrote in Clefable's entry) and laughing maliciously when its victim takes notice, but Gengar seems more like a prankster than an evil creature. Also, its body serves as a heat sink, because it absorbs the warmth from its surroundings and cools the temperature by nearly 10°F.

The most interesting thing about Gastly and its evolutions is that researchers believe that they are multidimensional beings, but are they really able to travel between dimensions? And if so, are they only able to do that because they're ghosts or because their bodies are so transparent? This theory is only strengthened by the fact that Mega Gengar has a third eye with which it can see into other dimensions. Unfortunately, even though traces of this theory can be found, it is only briefly mentioned in a Pokédex entry of Gastly in the anime and a Pokédex entry of Haunter in Red, Blue and LeafGreen (basically the same games); otherwise, Game Freak fail to explain any further, so I think it's safe to say that these Pokémon are shrouded in mystery. And if y'all have been keeping up with this blog, y'all know I like some mystery.

Official art of Mega Gengar by Ken Sugimori.

But it would be nice if Gengar was a good in-game Pokémon, right? Well, brace yourselves, because not only is Gengar an amazing Pokémon to use in-game, it is also a great competitive Pokémon. It has fantastic special attack and speed stats, especially as a Mega, but as it is quite frail, it is meant to sweep rather than stall. That's why players often run a Gengar with solely offensive moves, mainly Shadow Ball, Sludge Wave, Focus Blast and an additional move for Pokémon that have a quadruple weakness to ice, like Hidden Power Ice or Icy Wind. Those moves aren't the only ones Gengar can learn; depending on what Pokémon you might be facing, moves like Thunderbolt, Psychic, Giga Drain, Energy Ball and Dazzling Gleam might prove useful to you. Taunt prevents the opponent from stalling, while Destiny Bond takes the opponent with it when Gengar is knocked out, so these moves aren't uncommon on Gengar, either. Levitate is its only ability and prevents it from being hit by ground-type moves, which would otherwise be super-effective against it due to its secondary poison typing. There are a variety of items that you can let Gengar hold on to. Here are a few: Life Orb strengthens its offensive moves but takes away 1/10 of its health each times it uses one, Choice Scarf doubles its speed but limits it to using only one move until it is switched out, Choice Specs does the same but with its special attack, Black Sludge lets poison types heal some HP after every turn, and Focus Sash prevents the opponent from one-shotting Gengar when the latter is at full health.

ISN'T SHINY MEGA GENGAR BEAUTIFUL???

And what about Gengar's Mega evolution? Well, its Mega is so good that it actually resides in the Uber tier, in which the most overpowered Pokémon reside, usually legendary Pokémon and some other Mega evolutions. There are several methods to use Mega Gengar in this tier, but it is so fast and so strong that downright murder is mostly enough after it has put the opponent to sleep with Hypnosis and set up a Substitute. What I like most about this Mega, though, is its shiny. Shiny Gengar is absolutely nothing special (it is just a slightly darker shade of purple), but shiny Mega Gengar is completely white. I love it, I love it, I love it. And even though I won't give it a perfect rating just for its shiny, Gengar (especially its Mega) deserves a more-than-excellent 4.5-star rating.

Oh God, I can't WAIT to write my next entry!

Rating: 4.5/5

#90 - #91: Shellder & Cloyster

Do you remember that I already discussed Shellder in Slowbro and Slowking's entry? Yeah, I know that Shellder doesn't look like the shells on Slowbro's tail and Slowking's head, but there's this thing called evolution that might cause a Shellder that is attached to either Slowbro or Slowking to change its appearance as well, so don't question it. Okay?

Shellder in the anime. Due to its dopey look and big tongue,
Shellder is actually kinda cute, despite being a slimy mollusk. 

Okay. So, Shellder is already interesting by itself, especially because of its symbiotic relationship with the Slowpoke line. Now, I'm not going to write an entire paper about that; if you want to read about what Shellder does to Slowbro and Slowking, I suggest you go read their entry instead. All I know is that Shellder doesn't look so cute in its 'parasite' form anymore, nor does it actually look like a Pokémon when it clamps on to a member of the Slowpoke family, for that matter. In battles, Shellder is not so keen on clamping itself to an opponent, because that will reveal its vulnerable parts and therefore it will only do that as a last resort. Obviously, Shellder lives and sleeps in a hole on the seafloor, which it creates by using its broad tongue that is always kept hanging out. Loose grains of sand that get trapped inside its body after burrowing its hole are mixed with body fluids to form beautiful pearls. Shellder moves around by rapidly opening and closing its bivalve shell (which, by the way, is as hard as diamond)... while facing backwards. So it doesn't see where it is going, or does it have an intuitional orientation? Unfortunately, the Pokédex - or rather: Game Freak - fails to provide us with any information on that.

Cloyster fan art.

What is evident, though, is that Shellder is capable to fully evolve by itself. When it is exposed to a Water Stone, this cute little mussle (or clam) evolves into a giant not-to-be-fucked-with oyster. Cloyster definitely has more spikes on its shell than Shellder, but these spikes are even harder than its diamond-hard shell (harsh tidal currents affect their size and sharpness) and are also its main tools in battle. That is evident in the fact that it is able to learn flavor-matching moves like Spike Cannon and Spikes, as well as Icicle Spear, which can only be learned by Shellder. Its projectile system is also used to move itself forward, swallowing seawater and ejecting it towards the rear propelling it through with siphon-jet propulsion. Cloyster is kind of a mysterious Pokémon in the first place, because no one knows what its innards look like, will ever be able to open its shell when it is closed, or knows why its shell is so hard it can withstand a bomb blast or even a missile strike.

Some more awesome Cloyster fan art.

Whatever material(s) Cloyster's shell is made of, its in-game use strongly matches its flavor: Cloyster has a massive base 180 defense stat, which makes it capable to survive quite some physical attacks from its opponents. Unfortunately, its base HP is quite low and its special defense is absolutely garbage, so its endurance might disappoint in the long run. That is why Cloyster is often given a Focus Sash, which saves it from being one-shotted. Cloyster comes with three excellent abilities, but one of its two regular abilities, Skill Link, is absolutely the best. This ability allows Cloyster to hit the opponent a maximum number of times with multi-strike moves like Icicle Spear and Rock Blast, which hit for 25 power a pop for a maximum of five times. That's some clean 125 damage right there, so these moves are must-haves for Cloyster. So, what about the other abilities? Well, Shell Armor prevents Cloyster from getting a critical hit to the face, which is useless when it is hit by Thunderbolt or something anyway, while its hidden ability Overcoat prevents it from receiving chip damage from weather conditions such as Hail and Sandstorm, which is situational at best.

As for the other moves he should have: Razor Shell is its only usable physical water-type move (although some players carry Ice Shard on Cloyster instead), and Shell Smash raises its attck, special attack and speed by two stages each and lowers its defense and special defense by one stage each. Losing some defense for a lot of offense and speed is a good trade in my opinion, as Cloyster can still withstand quite a few physical attacks after a Shell Smash boost. The defense and special defense drop makes it even more frail than it is though, so that Focus Sash might be a very good idea. Although a Life Orb is a good alternative, a White Herb, which is an item that restores negative stat changes like the defensive drops from Shell Smash, might come in handy as well. A Jolly or Naive nature (both makes Cloyster's speed stat grow better) are the preferred natures for Cloyster and make it outspeed many Choice Scarf opponents after a Shell Smash.

Now, this player takes Game Freak's suggestive joke to the next level. Dirty
motherfucker!

This water/ice dual-type Pokémon is definitely great in battles, but the funniest thing about it is a joke theory that is going round on the Internet. In HeartGold and SoulSilver, the player is challenged by Young Couple Duff and Eda, who use Cloyster and Onix. But as it happens, in this context, Cloyster and Onix tend to strongly resemble a vulva and a phallus, respectively. Very suggestive, but I guess someone at Game Freak likes dirty inside jokes that children won't even notice. It makes adult players go LOL and parents go OMG, but I really don't see the harm in it.

Cloyster is one of those Pokémon I would LOVE to use in a playthrough once, especially one with the Skill Link ability, which makes it an extremely useful, unique and overpowered Pokémon (although it beats me why it isn't able to learn Pin Missile, with its effective projectile system and all). I love its design and its mischievous look, which suggest that we're dealing with a highly defensive and strong Pokémon. I'll gladly give Cloyster a rating of 5 stars, every one of them more than deserving!

Rating: 5/5