#60 - #62, #186: Poliwag, Poliwhirl, Poliwrath & Politoed

The round form of Poliwag makes it somewhat cute and cuddly.

Tadpoles, my ass...

Alright then, I'll admit that Poliwag is a tadpole. And quite honestly, it is a creepy tadpole at that, because the spiral pattern on its belly is supposed to represent how the intestines of real-life tadpoles are sometimes seen through their transparent skins. Gross. I'm not particularly fond of slimy amphibian things in the first place, but that gets even worse when their intestines are clearly visible. One could call such a phenomenon fascinating, but I'm not buying it. What I'm also not buying is the whole Poliwhirl-being-a-tadpole thing. You know, when Poliwag evolves into Poliwhirl, the tail disappears and arms and hands (with what are supposedly gloves attached to it) are added, which really makes me think Poliwhirl isn't supposed to be a tadpole anymore, even though it is still a middle-stage Pokémon and the spiral pattern, still resembling intestines, remains. Admittedly, due to their round bodies and big eyes, both Poliwag and Poliwhirl have a somewhat adorable appearance, which might make one argue that both are tadpoles. But I refuse to believe that one of Poliwhirl's final evolutions, Poliwrath, is a tadpole. It's a grown-ass frog, goddammit!

The Gen. I Poliwag evolution line: Poliwag (middle, standing on
top of Poliwhirl's hand), Poliwhirl (left) and Poliwrath (right).

Poliwrath, which can be obtained by exposing Poliwhirl to a Water Stone, doesn't differ all that much from its pre-evolution, but there are several features that will make you go, 'THAT THING IS NOT A GODDAMN TADPOLE!' (Yes, it bothers me; can you tell?) The angry eyes that bulge from its head like a grown frog, for instance. Or its fierce stance. Its muscular body. The arms and the gloved hands. Its weight (119 pounds) and height (4'03"). Its typing. Indeed, on top of its primary water typing, Poliwrath gains the fighting type upon evolution. It even swims faster than the best human champion swimmers and is able to swim back and forth across the Pacific Ocean without much effort. I don't know much about frogs and tadpoles, but tadpoles can't fight and swim like Poliwrath can; that I know for sure. Then again, anything is possible in the Pokémon world, but even when I take that into account I still don't see a tadpole in Poliwrath. I'm sorry that I'm nagging on about this whole tadpole thing, but it bothers me so much that I had to put it out there. If anything, Poliwhirl and Poliwrath are based on glass frogs, a frog species whose organs are - you guessed it - clearly visible through its transparent skin. I still think that's nasty, though.

The entire Poli family: Poliwag (top right, on top of the square-shaped Poké Ball
box Poliwhirl is balancing on its fist), Poliwhirl (right), Poliwrath (back) and
Politoed (left). No, the crown is not naturally a part of Politoed, but a reference to
its status as a king among the Polis as well as its evolution method.

Enough about that; there is another evolution to discuss! That would be Politoed, who couldn't look any more different from Poliwhirl, but does have the most logical evolution if we maintain the whole tadpole-to-frog thing. While obtaining Poliwrath is easy, the method to obtain a Politoed (who is classified as the 'Frog Pokémon' by the Pokédex, thank the heavens above) is a lot more complicated. It requires the item King's Rock, which is not only harder to find in most games, but also doesn't just evolve Poliwhirl into Politoed. You'll have to have Poliwhirl hold the item and trade it to another game of the same generation. That only works if you have two 3DSs or a friend who is willing to trade with you. Poliwhirl may be the first Pokémon we come across that requires trading to evolve it, but it will definitely not be the last. It's an annoying evolution method for sure, especially if you're dependent on a friend who plays Pokémon as well, so the question is, 'Does it pay off?'

Old-ass official art of Politoed.

Why yes, it does. I mean... whether you like Politoed or not is a matter of taste, but it is undeniable a good Pokémon, especially when you have the right ability on it. Water Absorb, which makes Politoed absorb all water-type moves and regain some of its health, is better than Damp, which negates self-destructing moves like Self-Destruct and Explosion completely, but both are situational. Politoed's hidden ability Drizzle, which makes it rain in battle, is what you want for this Pokémon. The rain does not only boost water-type moves, it also decreases the power fire-type moves and extends the charge-up time for moves like Solar Beam. Due to its decent bulk and special attack, Politoed is often used as a support Pokémon in the competitive scene, with support moves like Encore (to lock the opponent in an undesirable move), Toxic or Hypnosis (to badly poison the foe or put it to sleep), Rest (for reliable recovery on Politoed itself) and even Perish Song (to prevent last-minute sweepers from setting up, as this move causes everyone present on the field to faint within three turns). Have it hold a Damp Rock and the rain will last for eight turns instead of five. For in-game purposes, you can go for an all-offensive Politoed. With its nice special attack stat, it can make use of moves like Scald, Surf, Ice Beam, Psychic, Focus Blast and even Mud Bomb (learned as a Poliwhirl), if you really want a ground-type move as coverage.

Official art of Poliwrath by Ken Sugimori.

Poliwrath, on the other hand, is a physical attacker. Prior to X and Y, it wasn't much of a physical attacker though, despite its muscular appearance. Thankfully, it has gotten a boost in its base attack stat, which is now 95. That is not bad to work with. This time, however, one of its regular abilities, Water Absorb, is the best ability to rock out with. Swift Swim, which doubles Poliwrath's speed when it's raining on the field, is a nice ability when you're running a rain team, but otherwise stick with Water Absorb and invest EVs in its HP and defenses to create some bulk. A Choice Band or Life Orb boosts its physical attacks such as Waterfall (STAB), Brick Break (STAB), Rock Slide, Earthquake, Poison Jab and Ice Punch. Focus Punch and Dynamic Punch look cool, but the former only works in combination with Substitute and the latter has terrible accuracy. Circle Throw, which forces the opponent to switch out, can come in handy though, especially if you want to prevent the opponent from setting up. Smogon also suggests a special attacker, but why would you do that if Poliwrath's physical attack and physical movepool is so much better?

It's just a shame that both Poliwrath and Politoed have had to give up some of their speed in exchange for a little extra bulk, which prevents them from really becoming sweepers. That's not a big deal in Politoed's case, because it looks a little bit like a support Pokémon, but Poliwrath looks like it should beat your opponents to hell and back. Believe it or not: despite the whole rant about Poliwrath not being a tadpole and everything, I really like this Pokémon. Politoed as well, even though I don't understand why it differs so much from the other Polis.

Rating Poliwrath: 4.5/5

Rating Politoed: 4/5