#325 - #326: Spoink & Grumpig

TCG art of Spoink. 

The next Pokémon has such a miserable and pitiful vital function that we might as well put it out of its misery as quickly as possible. Spoink is a pig-like psychic-type Pokémon with no hind legs at all; instead, it is constantly bouncing on its coily tail to keep its heart pumping. Its Pokédex entries mention that it dies the moment it stops bouncing, although it has often been seen keeping still in the anime series. Even the lore about Spoink's pearl carries a little bit of inconsistency with it. It's not about the fact that the pearl on its head - which is produced by Clamperl, by the way - is used to magnify Spoink's psychokinetic powers or that it is always on a constant search for a bigger pearl, often easily mistaking other round objects for its precious pearl. It's not even about the fact that Clamperl's face is found on the pink, pearl-like object situated in the middle of its shell; its Pokédex entries explicitly state that one Clamperl produces only a single pearl during its lifetime, and that is when its body becomes too large to fit in its rock-hard shell and the Pokémon is on the verge of evolving. No, it's a tiny detail that is found in Spoink and Clamperl's shinies: shiny Spoink's pearl is gray, whereas shiny Clamperl's pearl-like body is a vague gold color. It's a detail of little importance, really, and I'm a bit annoyed by the fact that I'm annoyed by such trivialities, but I couldn't help but notice it when I looked at the shinies of both these Pokémon.

TCG art of Grumpig. Because there honestly isn't all that much
interesting fan art of this Pokémon to be found on Google Images.

Aside from the fact that I'm not a pig fan of onomatopoeia in Pokémon names (man, is that pun bad or what?), I like Spoink a little less now that I know that the inspiration for this Pokémon is most likely based on a biblical phrase. I am an atheist and I don't know shit about biblical stuff, nor am I even remotely interested in that kind of bullcrap; so correct me if I'm wrong, but the phrase "...neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." is part of a verse from the seventh chapter of the Book of Matthew and more or less means that you shouldn't waste something precious on people that can't or won't appreciate it. I bet the few religious people I've met felt the same way about me when I gave them the cold shoulder after they tried to shove their religion in my face - and trust me, that has happened to me at least twice. But however much a swine I may be, this little piggy called Spoink (one of the ugliest Pokémon names in existence, i.m.o.) absolutely adores its pearl and even gets weaker when it's not holding on to it. That one big pearl splits into three small black ones upon evolving into Grumpig, though, maybe to emphasize that the manner in which they enhance its psychic powers is much more sinister now: Grumpig can control and manipulate Pokémon and people at will, and when it does so, it performs an odd dance that became hugely popular overseas - and with that Game Freak mean outside of Hoenn, I assume.

This is some pretty awesome fan art of Grumpig. 

Surprisingly, Grumpig doesn't quite make an impact in the competitive metagame. There are a couple of sets that are highly effective on this Pokémon, but its usage is pretty straightforward: it is usually put on a team as a specially bulky special attacker. It's got an amazing base special defense stat of 110 and some beefy HP to back it up, but its defense ain't worth shit, which leaves it vulnerable to physical attacks. If supported by a Calm nature and the Thick Fat ability, which gives Grumpig resistances to fire- and ice-type moves, this Pokémon should be able to tank a couple of special hits that come its way, though. A Timid or Modest nature for more speed or power, respectively, should do the trick as well, but don't even consider breeding Own Tempo or Gluttony onto this thing, because an immunity to being confused or the early use of a berry are side effects that aren't all that useful in Grumpig's case. For instance, Grumpig won't be holding a berry; instead, you should make it hold the Leftovers to gain a little bit of health back every turn, as it lacks any reliable recovery moves. And if you're really scared of your Grumpiggy getting hit by a dark-type move, you can give it a Colbur Berry, which halves the power of an incoming super-effective dark-type move. But Grumpig can't do anything in return without rocking a good moveset itself. One tactic is to let it set up a Substitute and use Calm Mind from there on, building up some strength and bulk before it can attack with moves like Psychic, Psyshock, Focus Blast, Power Gem, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball and Signal Beam, while it can also paralyze foes with Thunder Wave and stall an opposing Pokémon with a Toxic/Protect combo. And as Grumpig can take a special hit in the first place, you might want to consider breeding Mirror Coat onto it, which has negative priority but does double the damage if Grumpig is hit by a special move.

I never realized that Grumpig could be so malicious. Look at this GIF and tell me
that this motherfucker does not look evil. 

I actually really like Grumpig. I used one in an Omega Ruby playthrough and I have to say it was one of the best members of my team, especially considering the fact that it has such good type coverage. At base 80 it isn't exactly slow, either, so most of the time it went first and dished out a lot of damage due to its Mild nature. It's too bad this whole pearl thing just had to be a reference to the goddamn Bible and that its flavor is a little bland compared to Spoink's, but I like the dark turn Game Freak have taken with it. It's still a more interesting and pleasing Pokémon than Spoink design-wise and I have to say I've grown attached to it quite a bit.

Also, it's purple.

Rating: 4.5/5