Isn't Spheal honestly the most adorable thing you've ever seen? When playing through Pokémon Sapphire for the first time, I immediately fell in love with it and decided it would be on my team for the remainder of the playthrough... until it evolved, that is. It's a shame Game Freak felt obliged to give Spheal a first- and second-stage evolution, but I guess the end justifies the means; Spheal doesn't look like it's strong on its own, and it certainly isn't, so its evolutions were mere necessities. That doesn't stop me from loving this thing more than its evolutions, though; I put it on number 50 in my top 50 of favorite Pokémon four years ago, which I did for a reason, and it is still one of my favorite Pokémon to date.
It is just. Too. Cute.
One of the reasons for that is obviously its round shape. It looks like it can be used as a ball for all kinds of ball sports such as soccer, basketball and volleyball, and even leisure activities like bowling or bouncing around on a Hoppity Hop. Can you even imagine using it as a ball for certain kinds of arcade games, like Skee-Ball and pinball? In Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire, you can't actually use Spheal as a pinball to play with, but you can try to hit Spheal with the pinball - which is a Poké Ball or an upgraded version of that in this game - once one of them hops onto the icy slide. If you manage to do that, the Spheal will accelerate and go up the slide, ending up on a Sealeo that will bounce it into the basket (the same kind used in basketball) with its nose, as seen in the image below. It'll earn you more points than throwing the 'pinball' up the slide.
Spheal's appearance and flavor makes it even cuter: the stubby little ears, the sparkling eyes, the funny muzzle, its happy face... Did you know Spheal claps its fins when it's happy or cheerful, and that groups of them clap in unison when they're having a meal together, just to show their pleasure? That must be a sight to behold, and their noises must be like music to your ears. Too cute. Also, did you know that its blue fur is actually really plushy? Or that it moves around by rolling across ice floes because its body isn't suited for swimming or walking? Well, at least you know now, and none of this information is even the least bit trivial, goddammit. For heaven's sake, it is known for crossing oceans atop icebergs. That is not something I'm against, either: Spheal can bob right towards Europe, hop onto the Dutch mainland and jump directly into my arms, because it puts a smile on my face every time I look at it and I want to have one right this fucking instant. Spheal is pure joy. Spheal is love. Spheal is life. And if you don't agree with me, I'mma hunt you down and force you to watch images, videos and GIFs of Spheal until you can't take no more and die of sheer cuteness.
(Disclaimer: I may have exaggerated just a little bit in the paragraph above. Don't take me too seriously, now.)
But then Spheal evolves and I have to miss my precious little beach ball. Sealeo doesn't look bad by any means - it is perfectly fat for a seal and looks like a logical evolution of my beloved little bouncing ball - but I'm not a big fan of its design and part of that is owing to that weirdly shaped mustache, which are actually whiskers; thick, fat whiskers at that, goddamn. I know their purpose is to make Sealeo blend in with Spheal and its evolution Walrein, who is even hairier than Sealeo, but I feel like they're too big for Sealeo's face. I also have the feeling many people readily forget it exist, and I must say it is kind of a forgettable Pokémon, even though it's a moderately interesting one flavor-wise. While its name suggests it's based on a sea lion, it is actually inspired from seals, much like its pre-evolution. Like the real deal, Sealeo tends to roll anything new it sees on its snout to test its smell and texture, even entertaining itself by balancing Spheal on its nose (as demonstrated by the Spheal bonus stage in Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire). Sealeo's tenedency to balance things on its muzzle is very reminiscent of the way seals in zoological parks perform tricks to provide for our entertainment. You can find the English word 'juggler' in Sealeo's Japanese name Todoggler (トドグラー), while its respective French and German names of Phogleur and Seejong both derive from jongleur - or Jongleur in German, because the German tend to capitalize every single noun - and its Chinese name Hǎimóshī (海魔獅) contains móshùshī, which can also mean 'magician'.
But Sealeo's juggling days are over when it evolves into Walrein, who is a... walrus. I mean, if a goddamn seagull can turn into an annoying-ass pelican or a bunch of eggs (pardon me, seeds) can change into a dragon-type coconut palm, surely a seal can evolve into a walrus, right? Anything is possible in Pokémon. At least Walrein's design has a certain degree of coherency, as its white hair blends in quite well with its blue body, whereas Sealeo's huge mustache feels comically out of place. The cream color of Spheal and Sealeo's bodies are now almost entirely gone in Walrein's design, and only its huge and powerful tusks look yellow now. Seriously, Walrein, brush your teeth. All joking aside, Walrein's prized tusks are strong enough to break a 10-ton iceberg in one hit, although it is possible for them to break off during battle. As if Spheal and Sealeo weren't fat enough, Walrein now has a thick blubber that not only repels incoming attacks, but also protects it against the temperatures of the frigid waters it swims in.
And Walrein is a bulky motherfucker, that's for sure. It's damn nigh impossible to kill it in one hit, and that is due to its crazy base 110 HP stat and very decent base 90 defenses. Unfortunately, it lacks access to Scald and therefore loses a bit of its competitive utility, but at least it's still a great addition to any in-game team due to its high special attack and access to Surf and Ice Beam. (Did I really say that Walrein isn't a good Pokémon to use in a playthrough when I was counting down my list of favorite Pokémon four years ago? God to the fucking damn, I was so dumb and ignorant back then.) Granted, Walrein isn't very zippy, nor is its moveset overly diverse, but its ability to tank hits and retaliate with strong STAB moves can make it a valuable asset to your team. And should you desire to make it more diverse move-wise, you can make it a physical attacker: its base 80 attack stat isn't terrible, and it has acces to some very nifty physical-based moves such as Aqua Tail, Waterfall, Ice Fang, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Iron Head and Iron Tail. Competitively, it's not recommended to use Walrein as an all-out attacker. It's better to utilize its bulk and use it as a supportive Pokémon with a defensive nature, the Thick Fat ability and Leftovers as its held item, as it has access to some interesting status moves: Roar forces the opposing Pokémon to switch out and prevents it from setting up with moves like Calm Mind and Swords Dance, Encore locks the opposing Pokémon into a conceivably undesirable move, Super Fang always deals damage equal to half of the opposing Pokémon's remaining HP, and the Toxic/Protect combo is a classic.
Walrein is alright and all, and I definitely don't hate or dislike it in any way, but I just adore Spheal for its cuteness. I don't give a fuck about how good or bad it is in-game or competitively; some Pokémon belong to my favorites because they are cute, which is also the case with Furret, Shuckle and Mew - although the latter is actually really good in the competitive metagame. I could keep gushing about Spheal, but you already know by now what I think about it and what rating it's going to get.
P.S.: Did you know that Spheal and its evolutions are actually primary ice?
Rating Spheal: 5/5
Rating Walrein: 4/5
It is just. Too. Cute.
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| Adorable little Spheal in TCG. Look at it, it's so happy! |
One of the reasons for that is obviously its round shape. It looks like it can be used as a ball for all kinds of ball sports such as soccer, basketball and volleyball, and even leisure activities like bowling or bouncing around on a Hoppity Hop. Can you even imagine using it as a ball for certain kinds of arcade games, like Skee-Ball and pinball? In Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire, you can't actually use Spheal as a pinball to play with, but you can try to hit Spheal with the pinball - which is a Poké Ball or an upgraded version of that in this game - once one of them hops onto the icy slide. If you manage to do that, the Spheal will accelerate and go up the slide, ending up on a Sealeo that will bounce it into the basket (the same kind used in basketball) with its nose, as seen in the image below. It'll earn you more points than throwing the 'pinball' up the slide.
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| The Spheal bonus stage in Pokémon Pinball: Ruby and Sapphire. The left Sealeo is tossing a Poké Ball - the 'pinball' - into the basket, while the right one is tossing a Spheal into it after the player gave it a push with their Poké Ball. |
Spheal's appearance and flavor makes it even cuter: the stubby little ears, the sparkling eyes, the funny muzzle, its happy face... Did you know Spheal claps its fins when it's happy or cheerful, and that groups of them clap in unison when they're having a meal together, just to show their pleasure? That must be a sight to behold, and their noises must be like music to your ears. Too cute. Also, did you know that its blue fur is actually really plushy? Or that it moves around by rolling across ice floes because its body isn't suited for swimming or walking? Well, at least you know now, and none of this information is even the least bit trivial, goddammit. For heaven's sake, it is known for crossing oceans atop icebergs. That is not something I'm against, either: Spheal can bob right towards Europe, hop onto the Dutch mainland and jump directly into my arms, because it puts a smile on my face every time I look at it and I want to have one right this fucking instant. Spheal is pure joy. Spheal is love. Spheal is life. And if you don't agree with me, I'mma hunt you down and force you to watch images, videos and GIFs of Spheal until you can't take no more and die of sheer cuteness.
(Disclaimer: I may have exaggerated just a little bit in the paragraph above. Don't take me too seriously, now.)
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| Sealeo's official Sugimori art. Is it just me, or does Sealeo have a double chin? |
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| TCG art of Walrein. |
But Sealeo's juggling days are over when it evolves into Walrein, who is a... walrus. I mean, if a goddamn seagull can turn into an annoying-ass pelican or a bunch of eggs (pardon me, seeds) can change into a dragon-type coconut palm, surely a seal can evolve into a walrus, right? Anything is possible in Pokémon. At least Walrein's design has a certain degree of coherency, as its white hair blends in quite well with its blue body, whereas Sealeo's huge mustache feels comically out of place. The cream color of Spheal and Sealeo's bodies are now almost entirely gone in Walrein's design, and only its huge and powerful tusks look yellow now. Seriously, Walrein, brush your teeth. All joking aside, Walrein's prized tusks are strong enough to break a 10-ton iceberg in one hit, although it is possible for them to break off during battle. As if Spheal and Sealeo weren't fat enough, Walrein now has a thick blubber that not only repels incoming attacks, but also protects it against the temperatures of the frigid waters it swims in.
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| This looks amazing. Very realistic! |
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| Instead of another Walrein picture, you're getting an image of this adorable Spheal plushie. Look at it, who could withstand this fluffy pinniped? |
Walrein is alright and all, and I definitely don't hate or dislike it in any way, but I just adore Spheal for its cuteness. I don't give a fuck about how good or bad it is in-game or competitively; some Pokémon belong to my favorites because they are cute, which is also the case with Furret, Shuckle and Mew - although the latter is actually really good in the competitive metagame. I could keep gushing about Spheal, but you already know by now what I think about it and what rating it's going to get.
P.S.: Did you know that Spheal and its evolutions are actually primary ice?
Rating Spheal: 5/5
Rating Walrein: 4/5
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