#425 - #426: Drifloon & Drifblim

Oddly vibrant and pretty art for a such a ghastly Pokémon.

The first proper balloon Pokémon - and no, the Igglybuff line does not count - are an interesting duo, to say the least. Of all things, Game Freak decided to give them the ghost type and the result is nothing less than terrifying. Drifloon may look cute, but it has a tendency to tug on the hands of children to steal them away, only for it to get pulled around instead. That is its Pokédex entry for Pokémon Pearl, however, as later ones mention it abducting children and dragging them away to the afterlife. Game Freak don't shy away from a little body-shaming either, as Drifloon's Sun Dex entry says it dislikes heavy children. I guess Tierno has nothing to worry about, then. Not that I'm opposed to there being a real-life counterpart of Drifloon if that were possible, because I absolutely hate kids. They smell bad, don't listen to their parents, tend to get in your way whenever you have to be somewhere, make a complete mess out of everything, and as teenagers they're just a bunch of stuck-up, ungrateful know-it-alls. But above all, little kids are loud. I am hard of hearing and I absolutely loathe the agonizing sound of screaming children. The worst thing is that parents don't even know how to restrain their kids anymore nowadays, or they simply don't care; as a result, they just let them be and it irks me to no end. Drifloon would be doing us all a favor by taking them away from us, I swear. Too bad it dislikes heavy children, because those are the ones who tend to easily get spoiled by their parents.

TCG art of Drifloon that seems to fit its typing and flavor much better than the
piece of fan art above. 

Anyway, Drifloon's lightness causes it to float about aimlessly, earning it the nickname of "Signpost for Wandering Spirits", especially because its body is formed by the spirits of people and Pokémon. It can expand or shrink to express its feelings, but its soul will spill out with a screaming sound if its body bursts. Yikes. Its evolution Drifblim is even stronger, carrying full-grown people and Pokémon as it flies. However, it has no control over its flight and as a result of it only being able to drift, people tend to go missing. Even while under careful observation, large flocks of Drifblim flying at dusk will inexplicably disappear from view. I like to believe Drifblim are making themselves and those bad parents vanish while their baby Drifloon are taking care of the parents' annoying children, which would be a wonderful solution for human overpopulation if these Pokémon did indeed exist in real life.

Oh, if only Pokémon were real...

This fan art of Drifblim is strangely tranquil.

But the closest thing we come to 'real' Pokémon are immobile, inanimate plushies and action figures, otherwise we're restricted to using pixelated characters on a handheld video game console. In that regard, Drifblim is kind of a strange Pokémon. Its stats are unevenly distributed, with massive HP and decent special attack, but with mediocre attack and speed and absolutely terrible defenses; one strong super-effective attack is all you need to make this hot air balloon pop. The best you can do is to use it as a special attacker, rocking a Calm Mind set with moves like Shadow Ball, Thunderbolt and Psychic boosted by a Life Orb and a Modest nature (Timid isn't bad, either). Maybe you could replace one move with Rest and give Drifblim a Chesto Berry to hold so it wakes up immediately after using that move, which isn't a bad idea when you're facing a special attacker. It can even get a speed boost from consuming the berry due to one of its regular abilities, Unburden. If that's not your style, Will-O-Wisp is an option to badly cripple opposing Pokémon, as a burn causes an attack drop on the foe and renders Drifblim's defense somewhat passable. Hex instead of Shadow Ball works well in combination with Will-O-Wisp, but it's risky and tricky to pull off with Drifblim specifically.

Smogon mentions a physical Liechi Berry set, of course with Unburden, but Knock Off is literally the only good physical move it gets aside from Acrobatics, which only does massive damage after it consumes the berry in question. It's backed up by Substitute, Destiny Bond and possibly Tailwind, but I don't think it's all that effective. As far as special-attacking options go, a Calm Mind set is really the only way to go. Flare Boost is a hidden ability that raises the power of Drifblim's special moves by 50% when it's burned (probably a reference to its hot air balloon aesthetic), and while burns have been nerfed as of Gen. VII, the risk of burning your Pokémon with a Flame Orb when you can easily set up a Calm Mind is just not worth it.

Fan art of Drifblim as an actual blimp. This is hilarious!

I feel like a lot of the Gen. IV Pokémon don't really meet my expectations. Driblim has an interesting design and an awesome concept behind it, but it just isn't executed well stat-wise. I mean, its HP and defenses make sense, as balloons aren't really that sturdy to begin with, but why isn't it slower and physically weaker? With such few options in Diamond and Pearl (evolutions of Pokémon introduced in earlier generations weren't available until the post-game content or in Pokémon Platinum), you'd think Game Freak would kick it up a notch. Granted, Drifloon can only be caught in the Valley Windworks on Fridays - comparable to Lapras in Pokémon Gold and Silver - but no reason is given for that. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, especially since Drifloon and Drifblim can't control their movements according to their Dex entries, but I guess we'll have to make do with it. I really like Drifblim's design and flavor, though, so I guess a four-star rating is well-awarded here.

Rating: 4/5