#532 - #534: Timburr, Gurdurr & Conkeldurr

In today's episode of 'Blatant Unova Rip-Offs of Kanto Pokémon': Machop, Machoke and Machamp 2.0, only with swelling veins visible all over the surface of their bodies. Yikes.

Timburr ready to attack while tightly holding on to its
squared log.

Conceptually, though, the Timburr family really couldn't differ any more from their Kanto counterparts. While Machop, Machoke and Machamp don't seem to be based on anything more than musclemen, Timburr and its evolutions Gurdurr and Conkeldurr are obviously supposed to be construction workers judging from the objects they're holding, although Machop is most commonly associated with construction sites in its respective region as well: surely you haven't forgotten the empty plot of land in the northeastern part of Vermilion City, where an old man's Machop is preparing it for construction of a building. Timburr - which is a corruption of 'timber' - is always carrying around a squared log with it, hence its name. This Pokémon shows up at building sites to help out with construction, but I can only imagine the wooden beam it is carrying tremendously hinders it in its work. Timburr carries bigger logs as it grows, and once it can handle the lumber without difficulty, it is close to evolving - although in reality, Timburr just evolves into Gurdurr at level 25. Gurdurr - which, similarly to Timburr's name, is a corruption of 'girder' - is known to usually carry an I-beam girder in its arms that it uses to train its muscles. It is so buff, in fact, that even a group of professional wrestlers attacking it won't be able to budge it. Like Timburr, it is found at construction sites, but its Pokédex entries mention it skillfully wielding steel beams to take down buildings rather than... well, construct them. For Pokémon that are supposed to help construct things, they're pretty destructive, although it could be argued that in this profession buildings are often taken down to make place for new ones.

Gurdurr as seen in the anime, briefly putting its I-beam girder aside. 

And then there's Conkeldurr, whose unamused look, troll face, dark-ringed eyes and gray goatee give it the look of an elder from some kind of fantasy game. It is holding two cracked concrete pillars that it uses to carry out a strong attack without the need to actually use physical strength, or as walking canes to support its massive upper body - and in my opinion, the veins up there kinda have the shape of a Macho Brace. It is thought that Conkeldurr taught humans how to make concrete more than 2,000 years ago, and rather than rely on force, it has mastered moves that utilize the centrifugal force of spinning concrete. While similar to Machamp when it comes to typing, gender ratio, base stat total, stat destribution (well... sort of) and evolution method (which is trading), Conkeldurr is actually so much more interesting than its Kanto counterpart, despite the fact that the latter literally has four arms. Not only does Conkeldurr's brutal humanoid appearance suggest inspiration from ogres from all kinds of mythology, folklore and fairy tales, it may also be based on a muscleman carny from a carnival sideshow due to its buff body and clown nose.

Conkeldurr breaking one of its concrete pillars as if it were a
toothpick. Not that it matters, as it is very proficient in making
concrete.

Even though Conkeldurr is reluctant to use physical strength, it does have it. Its base attack is its highest stat, at a whopping 140, followed by some pretty good base 105 HP and decent 95 and 65 defenses. While a base special defense stat of 65 isn't that high by normal standards, Conkeldurr is often used with an Assault Vest attached to it. This item raises Conkeldurr's special defense but limits it to using only offensive moves, which is exactly what this Pokémon should be doing in the first place. An Assault Vest makes Conkeldurr all-around defensive so that it can take a few hits on either side of the spectrum before it gets a chance to attack, because my God, this thing is slow. It also doesn't have a shortage of moves in its arsenal, either, having access to coverage moves like Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Earthquake, Poison Jab, Payback, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch and Knock Off. As for STAB attacks, Hammer Arm and Mach Punch are must-haves: the former lowers Conkeldurr's speed, but that doesn't matter because it's slow anyway (which reminds me to tell you to make sure that its nature is Adamant at all times), and the latter is a priority move with a base power of 40, often used to finish off worn-down opponents. Drain Punch is an awesome alternative to Hammer Arm, especially to keep Conkeldurr 'hydrated' throughout the battle, and goes exceptionally well with its hidden ability Iron First, which raises the power of punching moves - including Hammer Arm - by 20%.

However, the preferred ability for Conkeldurr is Guts, which raises its attack stat by 50% whenever it is affected by a non-volatile status condition (burn, poison and paralysis; sleep and freeze render it immobile). This makes Conkeldurr an unwanted target for moves like Will-O-Wisp, Thunder Wave and Toxic, but once a status condition like that is inflicted on it, it becomes a force to be reckoned with. You could even inflict the burn on Conkeldurr yourself and activate Guts by letting it hold a Flame Orb. Sheer Force isn't a bad ability either, as it removes secondary effects from moves like Rock Slide, Poison Jab and the elemental punches in exchange for 30% more power and works extremely well in combination with a Life Orb or a Choice Band. Guts is still the better ability, though.

According to this guy right here, Machamp and Conkeldurr are his "bruiser bros",
which is one of the best terms I have seen for Conkeldurr to date. 

Conkeldurr is essentially a better version of Machamp, even though the latter has a nice trick up its sleeve concerning the move Dynamic Punch and the ability No Guard. Overall, Conkeldurr is just slightly more defensive and displays a much higher versatility by having no fewer than three great possible abilities as well as an excellent move that keeps its HP in the green: Drain Punch, a fighting-type move that Machamp unortunately doesn't have access to at all - just like Mach Punch, for that matter. Conkeldurr is even more interesting design- and flavor-wise, deriving from ogres/trolls, carnival employees and construction workers, while Machamp only seems to be based on one of these WWE morons (I don't like any sport, but wrestling is extraordinarily stupid) judging by the briefs and belt it is wearing. Just note that I don't hate Machamp by any means - I mean, it has a solid 3.5-star rating on this blog - but I just think Conkeldurr is far superior.

Rating: 4.5/5