#320 - #321: Wailmer & Wailord

Damn. It's not often I'm putting out reviews three days in a row, so don't get too used to this. It's just that I'm living in one of the southern provinces of the Netherlands, where they're celebrating this idiotic annual thing called carnaval - 'our' version of events before Lent and generally speaking just a lame excuse for dumb people to dress up Halloween style, attend stupid float parades and get drunk, all while singing terrible and cringeworthy carnaval songs. Most people celebrating it aren't even devout Christians in the first place; for them it's just a reason to party hard five days in a fucking row. Me? I'm frantically trying to avoid it until it comes to an end tomorrow, so that's why I'm hiding in my cave writing reviews about video game monsters instead of socializing. I have no life whatsoever.

Brendan traveling underwater on a Wailmer. 

Well, at least I can catch up a little now and we've bumped into one of my favorite Hoenn Pokémon sooner than I had expected. I guess that's the case because Wailmer can be caught with a Good Rod - which you can get from a Fisherman on the immediately accessible part of Route 118 next to Mauville City - fairly early on in your Ruby/Sapphire playthrough. Honestly, I don't even care all that much about Wailmer; it's a perfectly round whale with a perfectly stupid grin on its face. The teeth aren't even real teeth; they're baleen (or whalebone) plates and serve as a filter-feeder system inside the mouth of baleen whales. The system works by a whale opening its mouth underwater and taking in water, after which the whale pushes the water out and animals such as krill and plankton are filtered by the baleen and remain as a food source for the whale. That doesn't seem to be working for Wailmer at all, because this Pokémon likes to store seawater in its body and the more water filling it, the higher it can bounce. You'd think it'd bounce better when it doesn't have so much water in its body, because Wailmer is taller than an average human being and therefore relatively heavy (almost 287 pounds), but this doesn't seem to be the case at all. It likes to be a bouncing ball, too, because it is often found on beaches playing with other people and even startling them by suddenly spouting water from its nostrils slash blowholes - I'm not even sure which one it is, because all kinds of sources, including its official Pokédex entries, seem to use these two interchangably.

Gym Leader Marlon's Wailord, with Marlon and Ash standing
right on top of it.

Whereas Wailmer likes to be a jerk, though, Wailord likes to entertain people by leaping out of the water, thereby creating gigantic and breathtaking pillars of water. It does so when it searches for food and chases it, which it does in groups called pods, and one specimen can gulp down an entire school of Wishiwashi whole. Well, even the biggest Pokémon of all has to eat, right? That's right, at an enormous 47'07", Wailord has been the tallest Pokémon since it was introduced in Gen. III. Up to this day, not a single Pokémon came even remotely close to Wailord; at a height of 35'09", Alolan Exeggutor made a brave attempt this generation, exceeding Mega Rayquaza's height (35'05") by only a small margin. If you really want to see an image for scale, take a look at the image directly above and argue with me that Wailord isn't huge. I dare you. Surprisingly enough, this big boy is relatively light, weighing 'only' 877 pounds, which is much less than certain other Pokémon that aren't quite as tall as Wailord. Then again, there's no way Wailord are taller or heavier than the animals it was inspired by, blue whales - the largest and heaviest known animals to ever exist on this planet. That would have been way too complicated. Just saying.

Also, I shouldn't have expected Wailord to be so heavy, after all, as it is known as the 'Float Whale Pokémon'. That does not indicate that it's a heavyweight at all, right? In fact, it only enhances the thought that Wailord may be based on a blimp of some sort, or maybe a torpedo (man, Game Freak had a thing with torpedoes in Gen. III; this is the second Pokémon in a row that is based or may be based on such a thing).

Wailord swallowing ocean water like it's nobody's business.
This image contains TCG art from the Diamond and Pearl era.

But can this blimp (torpedo?) hold its own in the competitive scene? Well... not exactly. Despite its base stat total of 500, of which 170 go to its HP, it sits in Smogon's PU tier, the lowest tier with fully evolved Pokémon. That massive HP stat seems nice, but its defenses are a base 45 each and don't really complement it. On top of that, Wailord is quite slow and its attacking stats are 'only' a base 90 each, which isn't very strong. I used a physical-based Wailord in my Omega Ruby playthrough myself - Waterfall, Bounce, Heavy Slam and Earthquake proved to be as effective a moveset as any - but that won't quite cut it here. It's best to let it set up an Aqua Ring (very effective when Wailord is holding the Leftovers), after which it can PP-stall by setting up a Substitute or preventing any damage at all by using Protect. Further helping your tactic of PP-stalling is Wailord's hidden ability Pressure, which deducts one additional PP every time Wailord is targeted by the foe. Water Veil prevents burns, which isn't necessary, and Oblivious prevents confusion, which is even less necessary, so Pressure really is the best ability to go for. The only thing is the EV spread. It's up to you whether you want to max out Wailord's HP, but as its HP is massive already and its defenses do need quite the boost, I'd max out its defense and special defense stats - a Bold or Calm nature would go really well with that - and put the remaining four EVs in special attack so that it can hit slightly harder with Scald. This move may inflict a burn on the foe, by the way, further whittling it down, and it's Wailord's main source of direct damage, so definitely keep it around.

Wailord as seen in Super Smash Bros.

I didn't come to love Wailord until I used one in my before-mentioned Omega Ruby playthrough, and I still don't understand why I didn't like it before. It has a simple but effective design and flavor, and the fact that it is still the biggest Pokémon in existence actually makes a lot of sense and really adds up to its whole concept. Game Freak didn't go overboard with this one - in fact, they even toned it down for once. And that's a positive thing, I can tell you that much.

Rating: 5/5