#129 - #130: Magikarp & Gyarados

I think Magikarp has the right to say this. 

So how does the most pathetic Pokémon evolve into a monstrous Pokémon exactly?

And with pathetic I actually mean pathetic. Magikarp's level-up movepool has been the same since Gen. II, consisting of only Splash, Tackle and Flail, and its stats are terrible across the board. Well, its speed is decent, but it's useless when you have no offensive or defensive stats whatsoever. But do you see the memes below and on the right? That's right, Magikarp will fuck you up when it evolves into the fearsome Gyarados, but how does that excalate so quickly? Well, Magikarp is based on an Asian carp (although it does look a bit like a koi carp), a kind of fish that is easily startled and can jump 8 to 10 feet in the air, hence Magikarp's 'ability' to splash. Magikarp's evolution into Gyarados refers to a Chinese legend about how carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate, which many believe is located behind several waterfalls and cataracs in China, would become dragons, but it's mainly an allegory of the drive and efforts needed to overcome obstacles. This is also demonstrated in the side game Pokémon Snap, in which a Magikarp splashes its way into a waterfall and evolves after taking certain steps.

Awesome fan art of a Gyarados scaring the crap out of a Rattata.

And, honestly, the change from Magikarp (stats, appearance, Pokédex entries) into Gyarados is like broad daylight abruptly turning into the dead of night. Even its Pokédex entries portray Magikarp as weak and pathetic. The following examples are a selection of Magikarp's Pokédex entries in the video games; there are a couple more, but I don't want to make this article too long.

Pokédex entry Red/Blue:
"In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today."

Pokédex entry Silver:
"For no reason, it jumps and splashes about, making it easy for predators like Pidgeotto to catch it mid-jump."

Pokédex entry Ruby:
"Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it."

Pokédex entry Emerald:
"Its swimming muscles are weak, so it is easily washed away by even slow-moving currents. In places where water pools, you can see many Magikarp deposited there by the flow."

Pokédex entry FireRed:
"It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world."

Pokédex entry Diamond:
"It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive."

Goddamn, Magikarp really wants to murder some people. By the
way, this Gyarados is shiny, for those who didn't know that yet.
Regular Gyarados are blue.

Horribly weak, a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon, virtually worthless, the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world... Those are some powerful superlatives you use there, Game Freak. Like, calm the fuck down. I know Magikarp isn't strong, but adding so many inglorious Pokédex entries is really pushing it. Actually, there are two that are somewhat positive, but they are both overshadowed by the negativity added to them: Sapphire's entry says that Magikarp can survive in the most polluted waters but actually starts off with some of above-mentioned superlatives, while Diamond's (as well as Black, White, Black 2 and White 2's entries) mentions that a Magikarp that lives for many years can leap a mountain using Splash but that the move remains useless no matter what. And even though you're not exactly wrong by chastizing Magikarp for being worthless, that's a very effective way to make some positivity about it undone, Game Freak. Excellent job.

James's Gyarados in "Pokémon Shipwreck";
season 1, episode 16. It is enraged because it
is kicked away as a Magikarp after being
called worthless. It takes revenge by
summoning other Gyarados and create a huge
waterspout that blows the kids away.

How different Gyarados's Pokédex entries are from Magikarp's, though. This humangous sea serpent has fangs that can crush stones and its scales are harder than steel. Gyarados is classified as the 'Atrocious Pokémon', and that description is spot on: it looks hideous and has a terrible personality also. You see, Gyarados is infamously known for its fierce temper and wanton destructive tendencies and it is capable of annihilate entire cities in a rage, which it has done in ancient times. There are even records of this Pokémon's rampages lasting a whole goddamn month. It is attracted to wars and conflicts, which is why it is hard to tame one even after it is captured by its Trainer, and an exceptional amount of work in taming Gyarados is required in order for it to obey its Trainer without any problems. This is demonstrated in "Pokémon Shipwreck", one of the earlier episodes of the anime. In the episode before that, "Battle Aboard the St. Anne", James gets conned on the St. Anne, a gigantic cruise ship, and ends up with a worthless Magikarp. However, the St. Anne capsizes and Ash, his friends and Team Rocket have to work together to make their way out of the sinking ship by use of Misty's water Pokémon. James tries to use Magikarp, but nearly ends up drowning, and after all of them are gathered together on a raft, James calls Magikarp a worthless piece of shit (not literally, but it's pretty damn near close) and kicks it into the ocean. This triggers evolution in Magikarp, changing into the fearsome Gyarados. Enraged, it summons other Gyarados who start swimming in circles, creating a enormous waterspout that blows everyone away, resulting in the majority of the bunch to be washed ashore on an island with giantic robotic Pokémon ("Island of the Giant Pokémon").

But why on Earth is Gyarados so incredibly violent compared to Magikarp? Well, the brain cells undergo a structural transformation, which is believed to be blamed for Gyarados's sudden violent behavior. I don't want to give away too much, but Gyarados seems to be the counterpart of Milotic: both are serpentine evolution of weak fish, both have an increase of 340 points in their base stat total upon evolution, and both appear in times of conflict (Gyarados to destroy, Milotic to becalm). If you take a look at Milotic, you'll understand why.

Official art of Mega Gyarados.

But upon gaining all of this power, Gyarados should become an awesome Pokémon to use competitively, right? Oh, hell yeah. Game Freak blessed Gyarados with an amazing Mega evolution that hits like a truck. With base 155 attack, 109 defense, 130 special defense and a decent base 95 HP stat, Mega Gyarados is an offensive tank. Unfortunately, it doesn't gain any speed upon Mega-evolving, but that can be fixed by teaching it Dragon Dance. That is definitely a move you'll want to keep, along with Crunch and Waterfall (or Aqua Tail; more power in exchange for some accuracy), from which it gets STAB. The other spot in its moveset should be reserved for Earthquake, but it also learns Stone Edge, Ice Fang, Outrage, Iron Head, Iron Tail and Dragon Tail (makes Gyarados to go last, but forces the opponent to switch out to one of their Pokémon at random, which is perfect to prevent sweepers from setting up). However, regular Gyarados has the flying type as its secondary typing, so it doesn't get STAB from Crunch. Moreover, the lack of good physical flying-type moves makes it a lot less viable for competitive play. It only gets Bounce, which is a two-turn move and therefore unusable, as it'll let the opponent get the chance to switch out to a Pokémon that is resistant to flying. Unless you give it a Power Herb, that is, which is a one-time-use item that allows the holder to attack immediately with a move that charges on the first turn. It's barely worth the hassle, though.

I... I can't even. This fan art is INCREDIBLE!!!

As for items, it is better to give Gyarados the Leftovers to hold, so that it can heal a little of its HP every turn. A Choice Band or a Choice Scarf is not an option if you're gonna use a Dragon Dance Gyarados, so the Life Orb may be an alternative. Regular Gyarados are better if they have some bulk to them, though, so you'll want Intimidate for an ability, which lowers the opponent's attack stat by one stage when switching into Gyarados. Its hidden ability is Moxie, which increases its attack by one stage every time it knocks out a Pokémon, but that would be much better on Mega Gyarados (who, sadly, always has Mold Breaker). Lastly, a Jolly or Adamant nature is preferred. You can go for an all-defensive Gyarados with status moves like Thunder Wave, Rest, Sleep Talk and Roar, with a Careful nature to boot, but that would be a waste of its power. Just use the Substitute/Dragon Dance combo with Waterfall and Earthquake and you'll be set.

Gyarados is a monster, and it has one of the most interesting flavors I have come across. The Chinese legend of carp becoming dragons when leaping over the Dragon Gate has brought forth one of the most obvious and well-executed transformations thus far. The only thing that still confuses me is Gyarados's flying type. It may be a reference to koinobori, a carp-shaped windsock traditionally flown to celebrate Children's Day in Japan, on which children's personalities and happiness are celebrated. It would have been better had Game Freak decided to make it water/dragon, but in Gen. I that would have been way too overpowered, as dragon was only weak to ice and itself. But there was only Dragon Rage in Gen. I, dealing a fixed damage of 40 HP, and Gyarados's water typing neutralizes ice-type moves. The result? Gyarados would've had no weaknesses whatsoever. Talk about overpowered...

Rating: 4.5/5

#128: Tauros

Eh. Is it bad that I forgot that this Pokémon existed at all?

Tauros is one of those Pokémon that are easily forgotten, and I think it just crept into the limbo area of my memory; you know, that area in which you put all of those things you forget or want to forget, never for them to return. Okay, let me get this straight: it's not that I had completely forgotten that Tauros is a thing - in fact, I've known it was there all along - but it's such a generic and uneventful Pokémon.

Official Sugimori art of Tauros.

Honestly, you can't be that surprised about that. In the 35th episode of the first season of the anime, "The Legend of Dratini" (Dratini's Japanese name is Miniryū (ミニリュウ), but most non-Japanese people obviously use its English name), Ash catches a horde of exactly thirty Tauros in the Safari Zone. But even though the American voice-over actors actually recorded the episode, the network deemed the episode too violent and offensive due to the frequent use of firearms. Of course, that left a major plot hole that confused many viewers and left them wondering as to when, where, how and why Ash caught these Tauros in the first place. It doesn't really help that Tauros's design is somewhat bland and that its Pokédex entries seem to be copied from those of other Pokémon. Tauros is a violent and rowdy Pokémon that easily gets angry, and it is not the first. On the contrary, it isn't even satisfied unless it is rampaging. Once Tauros starts charging, it is unable to stop until it hits something (Rhyhorn, anyone?). It locks horns with others of its kind to prove its strength, and the herd's protector will take pride in the battle scars, but this would not be the first case of rivalry among a certain species. Tauros also looks like a regular bull, but with three tails instead of just one. Okay, it uses those to whip itself in order to incite itself, but that is hardly something worth mentioning.

Now, this is an interesting take on Tauros. Pretty funny fan art.

So, what really defines Tauros is its competitive use, then? Well no, not really. Why, it cannot be denied that Tauros can be a good Pokémon, because its attack and speed are excellent and its defensive stats are pretty decent. Game Freak provided Tauros with three possible abilities, and all have their uses: Intimidate lowers the opponent's attack stat when Tauros is switched in, Anger Point maximizes Tauros's attack stat when it is hit by a critical hit (somewhat situational and kinda risky, but if you manage to pull it off, you're set), and its hidden ability Sheer Force removes additional effects of moves and strengthens those. If you want to go all-offensive, the latter might be the best option, especially if you consider Rock Climb. Tauros can only learn this STAB normal-type move in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, but it's just a matter of transferring it to your current 3DS game (X, Y, ORAS) via Pokémon Black or White. Watch out, because Rock Climb only has 85% accuracy. Complete the set with the moves Zen Headbutt, Earthquake and Rock Slide, a Jolly nature and a held item (Life Orb, Choice Scarf, Choice Band, whatever), and you're ready to go. Tauros can learn Iron Head, Iron Tail, Wild Charge, Stone Edge and Outrage as well, but you probably won't need 'em.

Fan art of a surfing Tauros. And yes, for some reason, Tauros can learn Surf
in-game. I didn't even know bulls could swim? 

By the way, I'll have you know that I'm using Smogon as a backup for writing my recommendations, and I notice that it's common to use a Naive Tauros with either Flamethrower or Fire Blast. This is pretty silly though, because Tauros's special attack is absolutely atrocious and should not be used whatsoever, and if you ever need a fire-type move, there are a lot of special-based fire-type Pokémon that can pull it off a lot better than Tauros can.

Also, it might be an interesting thing for y'all to know that Tauros's name comes from Kentauros (ケンタロス), its Japanese name, which itself derives from the Greek κένταυρος, meaning 'centaur'. Centaurs are creatures with the upper body of a human and the lower body of a horse, which Tauros definitely isn't. It is based on ταυρος and taurus instead, Greek and Latin for 'bull', respectively. Additionally, Taurus and Centaurus are both large-sky constellations representing a bull and a centaur, respectively. Too bad Game Freak never did anything with its name origin... But, well, although I think Tauros is kind of an boring and unimaginative Pokémon, I don't hate the thing at all.

Rating: 3/5

#127: Pinsir

'Yo Masuda-san, I got a great idea.'

'I'm listening.'

'Let's make a bug-type Pokémon based on a stag beetle, the Prosopocoilus inclinatus, a popular beetle used in insect fighting.'

'Yeah?'

'Let's give it a variety of fighting-type moves also, but let's not make it a fighting type whatsoever. It's called Pinsir, a corruption of "pincer".'

'Sounds good, man.'

Pinsir and its nutty Trainer, who obviously wants to be a Pinsir
look-alike, with a pair of scissors to boot. 

This is approximately how the proposal interview for Pinsir's design at Game Freak must have gone. Okay, I might have exaggerated a bit, but my assumptions shouldn't be too far off the mark: in the first generation, Pinsir didn't learn anything but normal- and fighting type moves, and in the following two generations it was only capable of learning the weak Fury Cutter. Even today, its only viable move is X-Scissor; it can't even learn Megahorn, even though it has two big-ass horns on its head. Its monotonous learnset has only 'worsened' over time, as Pinsir started out with Seismic Toss and Submission and now has access to a complete arsenal of fighting-type moves such as Revenge, Vital Throw, Storm Throw, Brick Break, Superpower, Close Combat, Focus Punch and, for good measure, the special-based Focus Blast (which should unquestionably be avoided due to its subpar special attack). Game Freak even had the oppotunity to make Pinsir a bug/fighting type when they gave it a Mega evolution in X and Y, but instead went with the third most common dual typing in the whole goddamn game, bested only by normal/flying (23) and tying with grass/poison (14): bug/flying. Mega Pinsir isn't bad, but this 'new' typing made it gain two extra weaknesses, while intensifying its weakness to rock. However, its ability Aerilate makes up for its complete lack of flying-type moves, as it turns all normal-type moves into flying-type moves, effectively making moves like Return and Quick Attack actually super effective on a lot of Pokémon. Not too shabby.

Mega Pinsir.

At least this makes Mega Pinsir extremely useful in the competitive scene. It has amazing attack and defense, great speed, and even some moderate HP and special defense. These stats give it some durability during a battle, barring any switch-ins to Stealth Rock. Mega Pinsir's utility in the OU tier is pretty straightforward: a Jolly or Adamant nature with Close Combat, Return, Quick Attack and Swords Dance is the most common set, even though X-Scissor might not be a bad idea either. It even learns some neat coverage moves like Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stone Edge and Knock Off, if you want to slap any of these moves on it. And regular Pinsir, residing in the NU tier, isn't half bad. It comes equipped with three great abilities: Mold Breaker negates the effect of other abilities (e.g. Pinsir can hit Levitate Pokémon with ground-type moves, whereas they would otherwise be immune to them), Hyper Cutter prevents its attack from being lowered (handy!), and Moxie increases Pinsir's attack by one stage every time it blows an opponent out of the water. All three abilities have their uses and are completely fine for Pinsir, but it depends on the situation which one you'll need. The same goes for items: Life Orb increases Pinsir's moves but causes recoil damage, Choice Band raises its attack by 50% but locks it into using just one move until being switched out, Choice Scarf does the same for speed rather than attack, and Lum Berry lets it heal any status condition. And, not unimportant, avoid Return and Quick Attack on regular Pinsir; it doesn't benefit from these moves like Mega Pinsir does.

But... but... what's this now? It's very unusual I'm starting my entry with a Pokémon's competitive use. Normally I start by discussing a Pokémon's flavor, but I guess I'll have to do it right now. Oh, well...

This artist sure knows how to make Pinsir even more scary
than it already is. 

Pinsir has always been a bit of a strange Pokémon. For one thing, it is based on a popular stag beetle used in insect fighting, which embraces a wide range of competitive Asia-based spectator sports commonly associated with gambling, in which insects are pitted against each other. That is probably the reason for Pinsir's savagery: it uses the pincers on its head to crush, swing, toss, tear and bludgeon opponents, even if they are twice its weight. If it fails to crush its victim between its pincers, which hardly happens because the thorns on its horns are driven deeply into the foe's body until it is torn, it will swing it around and toss it hard. Its horns are even used to dig burrows for it to sleep in, shatter thick logs, and bludgeon foes. All of these characteristics make it even more evident that Pinsir should have gotten fighting as its secondary type in the first place. Game Freak compensated its lack of a secondary typing by adding Heracross in Gen. II, a bug/fighting type that can actually use quite some moves of its own typings, more than Pinsir can. It is superior to Pinsir in every way, but at least Pinsir is one of the original big bug things. Plus, it has to be said that Pinsir has greatly improved over the course of the last fifteen years, with a Mega evolution to boot (although this argument might be considered invalid, as even Heracross was so lucky to have gotten a Mega).

All in all, Pinsir is a great Pokémon, and I especially love its Mega, despite its unlucky typing and the fact that it disappointed me a little bit at first sight. I can't say I can give it a perfect rating, because Pinsir (and even its Mega) isn't perfect by any means, but a 4.5-star rating is absolutely nothing to sneeze at.

Rating: 4.5/5

#240, #126, #467: Magby, Magmar & Magmortar

Old art of Maby (left) versus Magby's current art (right). As you
can see, Magby does not have visible nostrils. 

Magby may look like an cute little critter, but you should be cautious around this thing, as its body temperature is an incredibly high 1,100°F because of a magma-like substance flowing through its body, and it can spit flames of around the same temperature. Even when it inhales and exhales, hot embers drip from its mouth and nostrils (which nostrils, though?). However, when it is fatigued, the temperature of the flames decreases and black smoke is mixed in with the flames. It is said to herald a volcanic eruption when large numbers of this Pokémon gather. Yes, I know Magby is a baby Pokémon, but it is one of four babies I'm actually not bothered with for a change, the other ones being Pichu, Tyrogue and Elekid (and I explained why in Electabuzz and Electivire's entry). Magby is just an adorable little fuck, and sometimes I'm just a sucker for cute Pokémon. In the entry that I previously mentioned, I also said that Electabuzz always appealed to me more than Magmar, Magby's evolution, but that is not the case anymore. I do think Magmar got a shitty evolution in Gen. IV, though, but I'll get to that later on.

Mamar's original official art on a TCG card. 

If anything, Magmar is hotter than Electabuzz. And I mean that quite literally: Magmar's body temperature is nearly 2,200°F, which is double Magby's temperature. Ash's Pokédex in the anime compares its body with a furnace, describing it as a living inferno. In fact, its Pokédex entry in Pokémon Silver states that the surface of its body gives off a wavering and rippling glare that is similar to the sun, and its breath can create heat waves that ignite surrounding grass and trees. But it is impossible to get close to the sun, so how are you supposed to get in the vicinity of a Magmar? I know that Pokémon are shown to control whatever special abilities they have, but this characteristic is being presented as if it's something Magmar cannot control. Anyway, you want more proof of Magmar's superiority? Well, Magmar is shown to block electric-type attacks with a wall of hot air in the anime, whereas Electabuzz cannot do such a thing with fire-type attacks. And, as if it wasn't already really obvious, Magmar lives in active volcanoes and whenever it gets injured, it can just dip its body in lava and heal its wounds that way. Like, instantly. It does dislike cold environments, though, as it gets dopey and sluggish (similar to a cold-blooded animal), which it solves by spewing flames to make the environment more suitable to its needs.

Fan art of Magmar getting ready to Fire Punch someone in the face.

Unfortunately, Magmar got an evolution in Diamond and Pearl. To keep up with the trend, Magmortar (it is a cool name, though) can reach even higher body temperatures and it even launches fireballs of over 3,600°F from its cannon-like arms. Its breath always sears and sizzles, and when blasting those goddamn fireballs away, its body takes on a whitish glow from the intense heat. All that sounds really awesome, but Magmortar's design is just too weird for me to actually like it. Its pink mouth, legs and back spikes look so out of sync with the red-and-yellow body it has, as well as Magby and Magmar's colors. Besides, its big main body is so disproportionate to the small size of its head and legs that it's just not funny. AND WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ITS MOUTH? With that grin from ear to ear (literally, even though Magmortar does not have visible ears), it looks like the Joker from Batman, but not in a good way. I am constantly trying to like this thing, but every time I see it I'm like, 'Meh, this such a stupid evolution.'

Fan art of shiny Magby and Magmar.

And as I'm searching for info about its origin, I'm shaking my head over and over again. It just doesn't make sense to me. Magby and Magmar seem to be a combination between a duck and an iguana, especially given the fact that they have some features that can be traced back to iguanas, but they are most likely based on the Japanese Hindu-Buddhist myth of the karura, a divine creature with a human torso and a bird-like head that can breathe fire. Sounds familiar, right? Well, it's similar to how Electabuzz is most likely based on the oni, which is often depicted as an ugly horned ogre but is believed to be a divine creature that has control over thunder and lightning. With those cannons and large body size, Magmortar looks nothing like a karura anymore; it still has some iguana-like features for sure, but the bird-like traits have completely gone and I just think of it as a fire-blasting lizard. There is one thing I actually like about it, and that is its shiny form, even though Magmar has the exact same shiny coloration as Magmortar does. Instead of red and yellow, they are a dark and light pink color, which is actually kind of awesome (Magby's shiny coloration, on the other hand, is an unimpressive sickly orange).

Fan art of Magmortar about to wreck house. 

But both Magmar and Magmortar are viable competitively, at least that cannot be denied. Magmar benefits from the Eviolite, as it buffs up its defenses, so this item is recommended for sure. As regards its stats, Magmar possesses some really good attack and special attack, very decent speed, and some medicore defenses (hence I recommend the Eviolite). Its special attack is a little bit higher than its attack, but only by a small margin, so both are perfectly usable. If you want to focus on the special-based side of the attacking spectrum, I'd use a Timid Magmar with Fire Blast, Flamethrower, Psychic and Focus Blast, but it can even learn some nifty status moves like Confuse Ray, Will-O-Wisp, Substitute and Clear Smog (eliminates the opposing Pokémon's stat changes). As for physical attacks, it can learn moves like Fire Punch, Thunder Punch, Brick Break, Power-Up Punch, Cross Chop, Flare Blitz, Iron Tail, Focus Punch (works best in conjunction with Substitute), Mach Punch and Dual Chop. It gets an egg move that comes in handy when running a physical, Jolly-natured Magmar: Belly Drum, which halves its HP but maximizes its attack. It's risky, but if you can pull it off, you'll have a Magmar that hits like a truck. And if you want to mix things up move-wise, you can always slap a Hasty nature on Magmar; it'll let it have some more diversity at that as well.

Magmortar (right) and its electric-type counterpart Electivire (left).

Magmortar works completely differently, though: it loses some speed but gains a whole ton of special attack. Sadly, at base 95 its base physical attack remains the same as Magmar's, which renders it less useful than you'd think (although you can still use the Belly Drum trick to surprise opponents, but now with Earthquake and Rock Slide). In order to immediately let Magmortar hit the foe as hard as possible, it is recommended to max out its special attack with a beneficial nature, preferably Modest or Rash, and give it a Life Orb. It also has access to Thunderbolt, a powerful special-based electric-type move that Magmar doesn't get, so definitely use that. Want to create some bulk? Magmortar has some decent special defense and HP, so you could let it wear an Assault Vest while still doing massive damage due to its already-high special attack. Lastly, Magmar and Magmortar share the same ability with the Elekid line: Vital Spirit, which prevents them from falling asleep. Handy. Flame Body, which has a chance to burn the foe when they make direct contact with Magmortar, should usually be left alone, as it's inferior to Vital Spirit.

In the end, Magmar is a great Pokémon, design-wise and competitively, while its evolution Magmortar is not. Well, at least not design-wise. In fact, I like Magmar more than Electabuzz, but the latter got an awesome evolution in Gen. IV, whereas Magmar definitely did not. So, much like I did with Magneton and Magnezone, I am going to rate Magmar and Magmortar separately. I apologize to Magmortar fans, but I think Game Freak should have left Magmar alone, or at least given its evolution a better design.

Rating Magmar: 4.5/5

Rating Magmortar: 2.5/5

#239, #125, #466: Elekid, Electabuzz & Electivire

Oh hey, look at that: another baby Pokémon!

Actually, there are four baby Pokémon I am not particularly bothered with: Pichu because it is able to obtain Volt Tackle as an egg move, Tyrogue due to its three possible evolutions, Elekid because it's cool, and then Magby because it's so friggin' adorable. You'll find Magby again in my next entry, so let's focus on Elekid right now.

Fan art of an Elekid leaving its Trainer in shock. Then again, that
is probably the kid's intention. 

Elekid is a cool little dude who likes to play out in the most vicious thunderstorms, which is one source of charging electricity for it, the other one being rotating its arms. The thing is that Elekid actually tires easily, so its best defense mechanism is a weak current flowing between its prong-like horns that shocks unwary people who try to pet it. That's as interesting as it gets, unfortunately, but at least it is able to evolve into a great Pokémon: Electabuzz. And unlike its pre-evolved form, Electabuzz is not so sweet. It is an agressive Pokémon prone to heated competition, and Electabuzz will compete with one another in order to determine which one is capable of attaining the highest ground during torrential thunderstorms, so to get struck by a lightning bolt. The Electabuzz won't even get harmed; they will simply absorb the electricity, which is why they are often used as an alternative to lightning rods in urban areas. It won't come as a surprise that Electabuzz can store insane amounts of electricity in its body, which it constantly discharges, so coming too close to it will make your hair stand on end. Indeed, it even feeds on electricity generated by power plants, which can cause major blackouts in cities.

Pikachu crying over his broken ketchup bottle in "Showdown at Dark City"; season
1, episode 42. In said episode, two rivaling unofficial Pokémon Gyms, Yas and Kaz,
seek official status, but the situation gets out of hand. Ketchup, of all things, makes
an end to Scyther and Electabuzz's destructive tantrums, causing the two Pokémon
to start fighting each other.

By the way, I forgot to mention this in Scyther's entry, but as demonstrated in episode 42 of the first season of the anime series ("Showdown at Dark City"), both Scyther and Electabuzz are enraged by the color red. In this episode, they become violent when they get ketchup in their eyes and start razing entire Dark City to the ground. This characteristic is nowhere to be found in their respective Pokédex entries, however, and I personally think it was just made up as an excuse for including the infamous recurring gag of a ketchup-worshiping Pikachu.

Above: old official art of Electabuzz.
Below: Electabuzz's current art.
Both are drawn by Ken Sugimori. 

Anyway, Electabuzz is not the final stage of the evolution line: it got an evolution in the fourth generation. By giving Electabuzz an Electirizer and trade it to another game, Electivire can be obtained. And Electivire is a ferocious fighter: it pushes the tips of its two tails onto the foe, then lets loose with over 20,000 volts of electricity. Blue sparks begin to crackle between its horns as its electric charge amplifies. Sadly, that's about it when it comes to Electivire's Pokédex entries, but there is always the question, "What the hell was the inspiration for Elekid and its evolutions?" Well, Game Freak decided to go with the theme of electrical devices, although this is only the case with Elekid and Electivire; Electabuzz already existed, of course, and this thing is most probably based on the Japanese myth of the oni, some kind of horned ogre with tusks that wears tiger-skin loinclothes and is sometimes depicted as a god of lightning and thunder. Game Freak kept the tigerprint on Elekid and Electivire, but they look nothing like ogres: Elekid is kind of humanoid rather than reptilian and is based on an American and Japanese plug, while Electivire has traits of an ape and wears a mark on its back that resembles a power socket. Additionally, the horns on its head might be based off of Tesla coils. These are invented, as the name so eloquently suggests, by the Serbian American physicist and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla, and they are used to produce high voltages at low currents. Tesla used them for his experiments in electrical lighting, phosphorescence, X-ray generation, wireless energy transmission and electrotherapy, among other things, but their modern-day use is for entertainment and educational displays.

Wow, I'm being quite the teacher here. Heh.

Electivire in the anime.

Let's move on to the competitive use for Electabuzz and Electivire, shall we? Interestingly, Electabuzz prefers to fight using special-based moves, while Electivire is more of a physical attacker. Contrary to Electivire, there is only one way to go with Electabuzz: special. Its attack stat is actually not that bad, at least not for in-game purposes, but it is mediocre and it should not be used in the competitive scene. Its defenses aren't all that, especially not its defense stat, but as Electabuzz is still able to evolve, you can just slap the Eviolite on it to create a little bulk. A moveset consisting of Thunderbolt, Volt Switch, Focus Blast and Hidden Power (the type varies on IVs, so you figure out yourself which type of Hidden Power you want) is recommended, although you can ditch Hidden Power for Psychic, Flamethrower or Signal Beam for a little type coverage. Electivire has the same amount of special attack as Electabuzz, but it got a lot of physical attack upon evolution for some reason, making it a fast physical attacker (although slightly slower than Electabuzz). Its access to Earthquake helps it a lot and therefore this move should be a must-have for it, as are Wild Charge and Ice Punch or Fire Punch. Also, I wonder why Electivire isn't a fighting type, because it has access to some amazing fighting-type moves, which I will list here for you to pick some from them should you so desire to use a few: Brick Break, Cross Chop (slightly inaccurate), Dynamic Punch (very inaccurate, should be avoided), Focus Punch (works best in conjunction with Substitute), Hammer Arm (awesome!), Low Kick, Power-Up Punch (rather weak, but increases Electivire's attack by one stage every time it is used), some weaker moves that aren't worth mentioning, and even Focus Blast on the special side of the attacking spectrum. Iron Tail, though inaccurate, is a viable option, as is Rock Slide. An egg move that may come in handy is the psychic-type move Meditate, which increases Electivire's attack stat by one stage, although you can just use Power-Up Punch for that while you still do a bit of damage.

Eerie fan art of Electivire.

Of course, natures, abilities and items are as important as moves, as they have a beneficial effect and can turn the odds in your favor. Electabuzz comes equipped with either the Static or Vital Spirit ability. Static has a chance of paralyzing the opponent when they make direct contact with Electabuzz, although you can just paralyze the foe with Thunder Wave if you wanna go that way; Vital Spirit is very much preferred over Static, as it prevents Electabuzz from falling asleep. That might come in handy against Pokémon that rely on sleep-inflicting moves like Spore, Sing, Hypnosis and Sleep Powder. Running a Timid nature is recommended to get the most out of Electabuzz's excellent speed stat, although a Modest nature works well with a Choice Scarf (but you won't get the defensive boost from the Eviolite!). Electivire also has Vital Spirit, but it might have Motor Drive when you evolve it from a Static Electabuzz. That ability gives it an immunity to electric-type attacks and boosts its speed when it is hit by one, too. Either ability is fine for it. Lastly, Electivire benefits from a Jolly or Adamant nature and a Life Orb or Choice Band/Choice Scarf to hold.

I was always more fond of Electabuzz than of Magmar, Electabuzz's fire-type counterpart, and Gen. IV was very kind to it. Electivire is one of the better evolutions from previous-generation Pokémon, and that can't exactly be said about Magmortar. I never used Electivire, but I am definitely planning to do so if that choice presents itself.

Rating: 4.5/5

#238, #124: Smoochum & Jynx

Is it just me and my dirty mind, or is this genius piece of TCG art
a tad bit provocative? "Ayo gurrrl, show me dat booty!"

First Hitmontop, now Smoochum?

Goddamn, Game Freak must have liked them medieval bowl cuts back then...

Well, you know my opinion about baby Pokémon by now, don't you? So I don't have to tell you what I think about Smoochum, even though I don't particularly hate its design. Too bad its flavor is so incredibly boring though, because there is absolutely nothing about it that is remotely interesting, aside from the fact that Smoochum uses its thick, sensitive lips to identify and examine objects that it sees for the first time. So it's clumsy? Who cares, so am I. So it's vain? Yeah, me too. Jynx is a whole other matter. It likes to wiggle rythmically with its hips while it walks, so it already knew what it had to do with that big fat butt before Jason Derulo even sang about it; and on top of that, it alters the rhythm of its moving hips depending on how it is feeling. Its bouncingly alluring motions can make other people compelled to shake their hips with it without giving any thought to what they are doing. Jynx also talks in a strange, incomprehensible language that sounds human, but it is impossible to tell what it is trying to say and research is still being carried out to decipher its words.

Jynx as seen in the off-season anime episode
"Holiday Hi-Jynx", which was intended to be
the 39th episode but was rescheduled
following the seizures that "Electric Soldier
Porygon" caused to Japanese children.

However, that is not what makes Jynx so interesting. What's interesting is that, even 'til today, Jynx has been notorious for being a very controversial figure, within the fan base as well as outside. You see, Jynx originally had a black skin color combined with thick lips, which caused one Carole Boston Weatherford to complain that Jynx was a negative racial stereotype of African-Americans after she saw the episode "Holiday Hi-Jynx". Weatherford's complaint has caused many repercussions in the Pokémon franchise, starting with the alterations of Jynx's sprites in the Western releases of Gold and Silver. Its design has gradually changed since then, in all possible media: from the games and the anime to the TCG art and the manga (its skin was changed from a deep black to a dark gray, so to suggest that Jynx are purple). From Ruby and Sapphire onwards, Jynx's official sprites have been purple rather than black, even in Japan. The 41st episode of the fifth season of the anime, "The Ice Cave!" (English translation of the Japanese title), was skipped in its entirety in the English dub because Jynx still had its original skin color and, above all, played an important role in the episode. Also, it is said that another reason that the episode was banned was because Brock got really sick in it, suffering from a cold with symptoms that looked like SARS, a disease that caused an epidemic at the time, especially in China. However, this was dismissed as bullshit a short while after that, because the episode aired in China without causing any problems or controversy and because Jynx made a cameo appearance in the 13th episode of the sixth season, "All Things Bright and Beautifly!", that was cut from the English dub because of its black skin color. Only from the 23rd episode of season 8 onwards did Jynx's redesign appear in the anime, and it was the first time that Jynx was shown in the flesh in America since "Holiday Hi-Jynx".

But it doesn't end there.

Left: Jynx's original official art. Right: Jynx's current official art.
Both are created by Ken Sugimori.

Following the controversy surrounding Jynx's racial aspects, it is often discussed within the Pokémon fandom what it is based on. To this day, it is still not clear what Jynx is supposed to represent, although the fact that it is depicted as Santa's helper in "Holiday Hi-Jynx" might be a reference to the Dutch folklore character of Zwarte Piet (pronunciation: zwar-tuh peet), meaning Black Pete or Black Peter. Zwarte Pieten are men in blackface and frilly seventeenth-century clothing that accompany Sinterklaas, a corruption of Sint-Nicolaas (Saint Nicholas) of Myra, Anatolia. This patron saint of children had a reputation of being very generous and handing out gifts, particularly leaving coins in strangers' shoes. This led to several myths and traditions of gift-giving in some European countries, mostly on his feast day somewhere in December. Sinterklaas can be seen as the Dutch equivalent of Santa Claus; in fact, modern-day Santa is directly derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas. There's only one huge difference here: Santa's little helpers are usually elves, while Sinterklaas' companions are Zwarte Pieten. Also, Sinterklaas doesn't have reindeers pulling a sleigh; instead, he travels to the Netherlands by steamboat and rides a white horse called Amerigo (named after the Italian explorer and cartographer Amerigo Vespucci; in Flanders the horse is called Slecht-Weer-Vandaag, meaning 'bad weather today') while in our country.

Zwarte Piet has become very controversial in the Netherlands lately, because of
his black-as-soot face. 

In recent years, Zwarte Piet has become a controversial figure in the Netherlands, mainly because he is thought to be a racist caricature, which has led to the introduction of alternate- and multi-colored Pieten participating in some sinterklaasoptochten ('Sinterklaas parades') held throughout the country. Most Dutch people, myself included, are displeased with this change and are like, "Hands off of our tradition", but the Sinterklaas holidays are undergoing a change and it seems to be inevitable that Zwarte Piet will soon be nothing more than a figure in our history books. Don't get me wrong, I am not racist by any means. In fact, I don't think Zwarte Piet is black by nature. Little children believe Zwarte Pieten enter their house by using the chimney, leaving candy in their shoes every few days (usually chocolate coins) until sinterklaasavond ('Sinterklaas evening') arrives, on which children get a moderate pile of presents. Zwarte Pieten are supposed to represent chimney sweeps covered in soot, although it's actually Santa himself who has adopted the tradition of going through the chimney, only without the dirty face. Admittedly, the idea of Zwarte Pieten being chimney sweeps has been executed quite terribly, especially considering the Netherlands' past with slavery.

The yamanba side of the fashion style called ganguro. This girl
scares me more than Jynx does. 

Anyway, there are a few other figures who may be the inspiration for Jynx. A common interpretation may be that of a Nordic or Viking woman, due to Jynx's primary ice typing and the old-fashioned, breastplated gown it is wearing. Another theory is that Jynx has traits of a female opera singer, as Pokémon Snap and its Gen. III sprites depict it singing, espcially the Emerald sprite that animates it singing a high note. It may have its origins in yuki-onna, meaning 'snow woman' (hence Jynx's ice type), Japanese spirits that are associated with winter and snowstorms. Additionally, Jynx is probably based most on the Japanese spirit Yama-uba (with Smoochum being based on the human child she is raising, Kintarō), who is described as always wearing a tattered red kimono, seducing her victims by dancing, and having golden white hair, a dark-colored skin, large lips and control over winter weather (does all that sound familiar?). Yamanba is also slang for the extreme side of the fashion style ganguro, which involves bleached hair, artificial tanning and applying brightly-colored lipstick, usually pink.

Three Jynx performing some sort of dance in unison.

Yup, there is a lot to say about Jynx, but at the end of the day, the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question is whether Jynx is viable for competitive play. Well, is it? Sure, if you know what you're doing. Jynx possesses some great special attack, very good speed and special defense, average HP and downright terrible attack and defense. That attack is something Jynx doesn't need anyway, but that low defense just plain sucks. There is a certain tactic you can use when battling with Jynx: run one with a Timid nature and its hidden ability Dry Skin (the other two it has aren't really useful), have it hold a Focus Sash or Life Orb, put the foe to sleep with Lovely Kiss (kinda risky with just 75% accuracy, though), set up with Nasty Plot and fire away with Ice Beam, Psyshock or Psychic, and/or Focus Blast. It also learns Shadow Ball, Energy Ball and Signal Beam, just for some type coverage. You can also Scarf or Specs Jynx, but that means you won't be able to set up with Nasty Plot and then destroy the opponent with its moves, as these items lock Jynx into using just one move until it is switched out. Watch out with Dry Skin: it effectively gives Jynx an immunity to water-type moves and heals its HP by a maximum of 25% if it is hit by one, but it strengthens the opponent's fire-type moves by 25% as well. And that's a problem, because Jynx's ice typing already renders it weak to fire.

Jynx has been interestingly controversial, to say the least, and the last word about it has yet to be said. All in all, I consider Jynx to be nothing more than OK: its design is alright, its flavor is alright (it's all about kissing as well: Lovely Kiss, Sweet Kiss, Draining Kiss...), and despite the fact that the controversy it caused is rather interesting, it did hold me back from actually loving this thing. Also, I'm not particularly fond of humanoid Pokémon (Lickilicky and Mr. Mime in particular), but I like Jynx well enough, even though I think it's a little bit creepy.

Rating: 3.5/5