#374 - #376: Beldum, Metang & Metagross

Beldum emerging from its Heavy Ball, a ball used
for catching heavier Pokémon.

Okay, now we're talking pseudo-legendaries. Metagross is actually one of only two I absolutely adore (the other one being Hydreigon), which should not be surprising to you in the least, because Metagross is a badass-looking steel-type Pokémon and y'all probably know by now that steel is my favorite of all 18 types.

Like all other pseudos, however, Matagross has to go through its infant stage, and that's exactly the right way to describe Beldum. You'll have to baby it in order for it to evolve, because literally the only move it learns by level-up is Take Down, which isn't even a STAB move and does recoil damage in return. That's not to say there isn't anything noteworthy to say about Beldum; on the contrary, really, bacause its flavor is far more interesting than its generational pseudo-legendary counterpart Bagon. Despite being a mechanical creature, this little dumbbell Pokémon - although its appearance is more reminiscent of some kind of surveillance camera, which is only strengthened by its trait of using the claws on its rear end to anchor itself to walls or ceilings in order to get some rest - still has emotions, the need to eat and sleep, and a way of reproducing. Its body lacks blood, however, and it is instead powered by magnetism: by emitting magnetic waves to repel the Earth's magnetic field, it is able to levitate (it doesn't have access to the ability with the same name, though), and it uses magnetism to move, communicate, hunt and control its attacks. Well, the only attack that it has, that is, unless you have an event shiny Beldum with moves like Iron Head and Zen Headbutt.

Metang's arms are rotated backwards when traveling, so that it
can reach speeds of over 60 miles per hour. 

Fortunately, you won't have to put up with Beldum for too long, as it evolves into Metang at level 20, the earliest of any pseudo-legendary basic stage. Metang is said to form when two Beldum merge, but there is no visible evidence of that - much like with Magneton. In any case, the brains of the fused Beldum are joined by a magnetic nervous system, allowing Metang to generate strong psychokinetic power and enhance its intelligence. Furthermore, its steel body is so strong that even a collision with a jet - as it's still able to hover in mid-air using magnetism - won't leave a scratch on it. But however clever Metang may be, this thing ain't got nothing on its evolution Metagross: whereas Metang is the result of two Beldum fusing together, Metagross is the result of two Metang fusing together, leaving Metagross with a total of four brains. These brains are all connected by a complex network of neurons, which makes Metagross capable of breezing through difficult calculations that it uses to analyze its opponents during battles. In short, Metagross is more intelligent than a supercomputer. How awesome is that?

Steven Stone is a collector of rare minerals and gemstones, so I
like the more 'natural' approach of Metagross here. 

Why, 12-year-old me definitely didn't think much of it. In fact, for the longest time I thought most of the Hoenn Pokémon were the worst, just because the creators had deviated from the 'basic' designs we'd come to know and love so much - at least in my opinion. Game Freak went way overboard with the designs for the Hoenn Pokémon, partly due to Gen. III being the first generation in which everybody at the company was able to submit their own ideas for new Pokémon, if I remember correctly. A lot of players took a dislike to these outlandish new Pokémon designs, and I wasn't an exception. I just dashed through the game with my starter and Kyogre, and that was it. That's what I did when starting a new adventure, anyway; it wasn't until Diamond and Pearl that I started creating balanced teams of six Pokémon. Hence, I never paid much attention to Metagross and its pre-evolutions. They looked too robotic and inorganic to my taste, so Metagross actually only came to my attention when I caught a Metang in my Black 2 playthrough. I evolved it, of course, and it literally fucked people up. Since then, I have come to appreciate Metagross a whole lot more, battle-wise as well as design-wise, and now it is actually very high up on my list of favorite Pokémon. And rightfully so, because who wouldn't want a hyperintelligent mechanical arachnid to command around, right? It's better to get this thing on your side in the first place, because you wouldn't want to be hunted down by this thing: it uses its extremely heavy body (at 1,212 pounds, Metagross is heavier than your average Snorlax, yo) to pin down its prey and then eats the helpless victim using the large mouth on its stomach. Being eaten alive by a supercomputer... that's one of the most inglorious ways to go down, if you ask me.

Badass Metagross is badass.

Guess who my favorite Pokémon League
character is?

The best thing about it is that this thing has a Mega evolution, despite its bullshit Pokédex entry from Sun stating that this Mega form 'results from one Metagross, one Metang and two Beldum linking up'. Yeah, right. At least Metagross gets even more badass by tucking away its legs to the back and creating a set of four giant arms with which it can fuck opponents up, so that's a plus. And with an attack stat of 145, the Tough Claws ability, a great psysical movepool, great defenses and a great defensive typing, Mega Metagross is indeed hard to take down. And because you won't retain the speed stat of the regular form in the turn you Mega-evolve your Pokémon anymore, like in Gen. VI, Mega Metagross has become dangerous to such an extent that it was immediately banned to Smogon's Uber tier. With no quadruple weaknesses and only its base 80 HP not exceeding 100 base points (it has base 145 attack, 150 defense, 105 special attack, 110 special defense and 110 speed), Mega Metagross matches a lot of legendary Pokémon in bulk and power. It suffers from the notorious four-moveslot syndrome, which means you won't be able to choose only four moves it can carry; its movepool is just that good. Meteor Mash and Zen Headbutt are excellent STAB moves, while Earthquake, Thunder Punch, Ice Punch, Hammer Arm, Rock Slide, Bullet Punch and Pursuit are all great options to consider filling the final two slots with. The only downside is that Metagross, and by extension Mega Metagross, doesn't have access to any good stat-boosting moves like Swords Dance or Dragon Dance or something (they're just examples), aside from maybe Power-Up Punch, which is a relatively weak non-STAB move and only boosts its attack by one stage each time it's used. Not worth it. You'll have to rely on Meteor Mash and pray the 20% chance of getting an attack boost comes through. And although its base 145 attack stat assures heavy damage output, it doesn't really help you'll need a Jolly nature in order to maximize Mega Metagross's speed stat and outspeed some of the legendary Pokémon in the tier.

Awesome Metagross is awesome.

In that regard, regular Metagross is better. Sure, its base 70 speed doesn't make it a fast Pokémon, but you can set up with Agility to make up for that if need be. And because it isn't very speedy in the first place, you can breed an Adamant nature onto it and let it hold a Life Orb or Choice Band, maximizing the damage output. You'll absolutely wreck house. And to hell with Intimidate users, because Clear Body prevents any stat reductions completely.

Like I said earlier, I absolutely adore this brutal-looking monstrosity now and I am so glad Game Freak decided to give it a Mega form, however overpowered it may be. I can't believe I didn't realize how badass Metagross actually is when I was just in my early teens, but I guess we've all come to get used to more extravagant and alien designs and have even started to really appreciate some of them. Let's face it, how fucking awesome does 'robot spider' sound?

Rating: 5/5