#438, #185: Bonsly & Sudowoodo

I think Bonsly looks stupid, but this realistic 3D art looks even
better than the actual cartoon version. 

Sigh. I don't want to talk about Bonsly. I think it is stupid and unnecessary and basically just a rip-off of its evolution, as I think most baby Pokémon are. All it does is being a downright attention whore by continuously creating fake tears. Okay, it does so because it needs to adjust its body's fluid and moisture levels, but I don't fucking care; this phony bonsai tree can go to hell for all I care. No, I'm much more interested in Sudowoodo, the Pokémon that blocked the road to Ecruteak City in Gold and Silver (and their remakes). You had to beat Whitney and her terrifying Miltank first before you could get a SquirtBottle (or a Wailmer Pail in HeartGold and SoulSilver) from the lady in the Goldenrod flower shop in order to spray water all over Sudowoodo to make it attack you. As Sudowoodo is a static Pokémon and doesn't appear anywhere else in the games, many people tried to catch it at first, until they realized Sudowoodo isn't all that great after all. Of course, I was the exception to the rule, because I started using it in my HeartGold playthrough and it turned out to be quite the strong and diverse Pokémon. Very satisfactory, even better than the other Pokémon on my team. Then again, one of them was a Fearow, and it's generally not hard to outclass mediocre Pokémon like that when you're a slightly better mediocre Pokémon yourself.

Look at Sudowoodo being a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. 

One thing that bothers me is that so many people complain that Sudowoodo is not part grass. I mean, WHY would it be a grass-type Pokémon? Sudowoodo is nothing but a phoney trying to fool others with its appearance. It is based on petrified wood, plants that have become fossilized over time, and therefore its composition is closer to a rock than a plant. It likes to disguise itself as a tree and stand along paths to avoid being attacked, although its camouflage fails in wintertime because its fingertips remain green at all times. Sudowoodo is basically a fake tree, which becomes clear in X and Y, in which it can be found in a horde battle alongside four Trevenant. That's genius, Game Freak. This tree disguise thing can also be found in the names it has received from Game Freak across the globe:

English: Sudowoodo is a combination of pseudo- (a prefix meaning 'false') and 'wood'. Aditionally, Bonsly is derived from 'bonsai' and 'sly' or 'lie'.

Japanese: Usokkie (ウソッキー) is derived from uso, ki and usotsuki, meaning 'false', 'tree' and 'liar', respectively. Additionally, Usohachi (ウソハチ) contains the Japanese word for flower pot, hachi. And let's face it, Bonsly does look like a terracotta plant pot. It even has a hole in its rear to boot.

French: Simularbre is a combination of simuler and arbre, the latter of which means 'tree'. Surely I don't have to explain to you guys what simuler means, right?

German: Mogelbaum is a conjunction of mogeln and Baum (the Germans have a tendency to capitalize their nouns), which mean 'to cheat' and 'tree', respectively. Additionally, Bonsly's German name is Mobai.

Korean: Kkojimo (꼬지모) is a combination of keojit or geojit, meaning 'lie' or 'falsehood', and the Korean word for 'tree', mok. Aditionally, the Korean name for Bonsly is Kkojiji
(꼬지지).

Brock licking Sudowoodo, because he likes being weird. I guess
it's effective, because Sudowoodo hates water (and wet things in
general). This scene is from "Type Casting"; season 4, episode 5.

Still think Sudowoodo should be a grass type? I don't - never have, in fact. Sudowoodo is supposed to be a rock thing pretending to be a tree, but it's not an actual tree in the slightest, so it would have made no sense at all if Game Freak had given it the grass type. It would have helped boost Wood Hammer, but that is a strong physical grass-type move in itself, anyway. And with the ability Rock Head, Sudowoodo wouldn't even have to take recoil damage from it, so it can hit the opponent without damaging itself. Sturdy is handy as well, but this ability would only come in handy when you want to guarantee that Stealth Rock will be set up. Don't even look at Rattled, because that is a dumb ability. It raises Sudowoodo's speed by one stage when it is hit by a bug-, dark- or ghost-type move, but its speed is already quite abhorrent, so it doesn't need Rattled. Fortunately, it is very physically defensive, so if you watch out for special attackers you can run a Life Orb or Choice Band set with Rock Slide (or Stone Edge, but that move is less accurate), Wood Hammer, Earthquake and Hammer Arm. It also learns Sucker Punch to catch opponents by surprise, while the elemental punches might be feasible options as well. Just be aware that Rock Head doesn't prevent recoil from the Life Orb, only from regular moves like Double-Edge.

Sudowoodo has always been an intriguing Pokémon to me, although it is not a particularly good Pokémon. Nonetheless, I like it a lot, even though it's such a shame Game Freak had to give it a stupid pre-evolution.

Rating: 4.5/5