#227: Skarmory

Skarmory being savage in its natural habitat.

So next up we have a steel bird. How do you come up with a steel bird exactly? Well, you take a look at a few myths from different cultures and combine them. The Stymphalian birds are a group of birds in Greek mythology and have bronze beaks, sharp metallic feathers they can launch at their victims and poisonous dung. They were the pets of the goddess of the hunt, Artemis, and were ultimately defeated by Heracles. The Russians speak of Gagana, a miraculous bird with an iron beak and copper claws and is often believed to guard other mythical creatures. Finally, there's the alicanto - or allicanto - which is a bird of Chilian mythology that is said to let its wings shine with bright, metallic colors during the night. The alicanto lives in caves in hilly areas containing minerals and feeds on gold and silver. It is said to bring luck to any miner who sees it; if the lucky miner follows an alicanto without being caught, he can find silver or gold, but the bird will guide the greedy miner off a cliff if it notices him following it. Aesthetically, though, Skarmory shares some traits with pteranodons (a genus of pterosaurs), paper cranes and hand fans. And let's be honest here: instead of being born as a whole, Skarmory looks like it came straight out of a building kit.

Skarmory being savage in TCG art.

But how did Skarmory get that armored hide? Well, it lives and is raised in very harsh environments, often building its nests in thorny bushes called briers, where continual scratching of their skins will eventually harden the chicks into an iron-like state. Skarmory engages in battles repeatedly, and because of that its blade-like wings become tattered and bashed in and eventually grow back after a year. They may look heavy, but they are actually hollow and light, can be moved independently and allow Skarmory to fly at speeds up to 190 miles per hour, according to Ruby and Omega Ruby (D/P/P and B/W/B2/W2 mention it goes 180 mph, but that's just a minor detail). Because its wings are so sharp, people in the past used feathers that had been fallen off to make knives and swords.

A more realistic approach of Skarmory. It looks savage.

Of course, because Skarmory is clad entirely in steel-hard armor, it is insanely defensive in competitive play. Basically it's Mantine's counterpart: whereas Mantine excels in special stats, Skarmory shines when it comes to its physical stats. First off, it's base 140 defense makes it a physically bulky bitch, while its base 80 attack is its second best stat and is decent enough in order for Skarmory to fight back. However, more investment is usually put into its HP and one of its defensive stats - its physical defense is high enough to pay attention to its special defense instead - and a support set is the most common set you'll find on a Skarmory. Whirlwind removes any Pokémon that try to set up and sweep from the battlefield, while Taunt prevents setting up at all and limits the opposing Pokémon to using only damaging moves. Skarmory has access to Defog, a move that removes all entry hazards on your as well as the opponent's side of the field, while Spikes puts an entry hazard of up to three layers on the opposite side of the field, thereby damaging Pokémon that come in - barring any flying types, that is, so for those you could use Stealth Rock instead. Roost is used for healing, but as this moves makes Skarmory lose its flying type, its steel typing leaves it vulnerable to ground-type attacks. Leftovers is used as a held item for some additional passive recovery, although a Rocky Helmet could be used against Pokémon that hit Skarmory with direct attacks and Shed Shell is an alternative against Pokémon with the Magnet Pull ability. Speaking about abilities, Sturdy prevents Skarmory from being OHKOed when at full HP, which is handy when you don't see a Fire Blast coming your way. It is inarguably the best ability for it.

And if you really want to go weird, a Choice Banded Skarmory with Iron Head, Brave Bird, X-Scissor and Rock Slide might do the job. In any case, one of the two STAB moves (Iron Head and Brave Bird) should also be on a support moveset so that Skarmory can fight back, so you're gonna have to choose which support moves you want on it.

Skarmory being a transporter for Steven Stone, which is... not all that savage,
actually. But it's still very cool.

I'm not quite done with this thing yet. In all hurry to explain Skarmory's origin and competitive use, I completely forgot to mention how much I adore this thing. I already thought it was cool, but it was never one of my favorite Pokémon. It also didn't make my top 50 of favorite Pokémon (seriously, don't read that blog; it's bad, worse, worst), but I warmed up to it in a Pokémon X Wonderlocke. It was one of the first Pokémon I received over Wonder Trade - I'm 100% sure it was before the first Gym, as I remember it completely walled Vivillon - and it stayed with me until the very end, contrary to other Pokémon I use in Nuzlockes or a variant thereof. Yes, I'm bad at Nuzlockes; my Pokémon die very often, especially when I'm trying to grind, but Skarmory stayed a part of my team until I beat Diantha, due to its bulk and excellent typing. I love this thing and it has easily become one of my favorite Pokémon to date.

Rating: 5/5

#458, #226: Mantyke & Mantine

As so many manta rays, Mantyke lives underwater.

Another baby Pokémon. Yay.

Fortunately, though, there is nothing special about Mantyke other than the fact that it only evolves into Mantine with a Remoraid in your party. As Mantine is always depicted with a Remoraid under its wing-like fins, this makes sense. In Remoraid and Octillery's entry I explained that attaching itself to a Mantine is an easy way for Remoraid to travel, while at the same time Mantine isn't bothered by the Remoraid on its wing in the slightest and just ignores it, so I guess these Pokémon are dependent on each other at times or at least willing to lend each other a hand (or a wing) when it's needed. This is a beautiful example of interdependent Pokémon relations, because we often see Pokémon as independent creatures that apparently don't need each other and Game Freak are doing little to nothing to change that image. At least when it comes to the core series games; I haven't watched the Pokémon anime in ages.

Official art of Mantine. While based on a manta ray, it looks like a
fighter plane with that Remoraid on its fin. 

But Mantyke is not where it's at. Mantine is where it's at; and to be honest with you, I think this Pokémon is kind of weird. First off, its secondary flying type leaves many people dazed and confused, but it's actually quite simple: like real-life manta rays, Mantine can fly up to 300 feet over the surface of the ocean when it builds up enough speed. Also, the Remoraid on its wing gives Mantine the look of a fighter aircraft, which further adds up to its flying type. Being water/flying instead of pure water, however, leaves it very vulnerable to electric-type attacks, as it has a quadruple weakness to them. It doesn't really matter, because Mantine is a bulky bitch. Its HP leaves a lot to be desired, but EV training solves that problem, and its natural special bulk allows you to invest some EVs in its defense instead. It's obvious Mantine is supposed to be a support Pokémon, but the thing is that it's not very good at it because it doesn't learn anything useful to go with its occupation. The best option is has is to poison its opponent with Toxic or burn it with Scald and then stall with Protect, or put up a Substitute against a specially offensive foe in order to get a free Toxic off. Of course, this set is best run on a defensive Mantine holding the Leftovers, although a specially offensive Mantine (Modest nature) with Choice Specs and moves like Hydro Pump, Scald, Signal Beam and Air Slash might get the job done as well.

Mantine above the surface of the ocean water, with Smeargle, Hoppip, Mantyke
and Wingull in the background.

When used right, Mantine can be a good Pokémon on any team. Too bad Mantyke and Mantine's flavour is a little bland, although the latter's design jacks up my rating a little. That means my eventual rating is going to be 4 stars, which is more than enough for Mantine; I think 3.5 stars is just a little bit too few, so then I'll just give it the benefit of the doubt.

Rating: 4/5

#225: Delibird

It would be a wise decision not to accept that present, even though
it's alluring. And no, that is not just a bag behind Delibird; that is
its tail.

Santa Claus, my asscrack.

That red-and-white color scheme looks nice and all, and it may give Delibird the appearance of Santa, but Santa doesn't give presents that explode in your fucking face. And Delibird tends to do that. Like, a lot. However, the bag-like tail contains not only exploding presents, but also food it collects for its chicks. It has been known to share its food with humans stranded in icy mountains, and there was once a famous explorer who managed to reach the peak Mount Everest and managed to survive because a Delibird shared its food with him. It's curious Delibird likes to live on mountain cliffs, because penguins are usually native to the southern hemisphere and live in the southern parts of South America and southern Africa and along the coast of Antarctica - they don't even live in the Arctic area. They usually stay in the vicinity of the ocean, and there is a good chance they'll never even get to come near a goddamn mountain in their 20-year lifespans. The 2007 documentary Encounters at the End of the World even contains footage of a lone mentally deranged and disorientated penguin waddling toward the mountains, heading to a certain death. As far as anyone can tell, the penguin is aware of what it's doing, so basically that means it's committing suicide. Harsh.

The feels, man. The feels.

You gotta love this art, only for the fact that Delibird is riding an
Arcanine. That's awesome. 

So, one could wonder why Game Freak made the mountains Delibird's habitat, while penguins apparently can't thrive in mountainous areas. However, they've made some questionable choices in the past, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. What matters is that Delibird - a rockhopper penguin in aesthetics, but a puffin (a penguin-like bird capable of flight) in characteristics - is a terrible Pokémon: it has a base stat total of 330 and its base 75 speed is the best stat it has. And prepare for some more horseshit, because Delibird doesn't even evolve, so you can't get any better; what you see is what you get. Unless you're clever enough to steer away from Delibird and choose another hazard lead, that is. I mean, the combination of Spikes, Rapid Spin and Destiny Bond seems like an interesting tactic, but Delibird's defenses are so ass that it's not even funny anymore. If Delibird had packed a punch, that tactic would have been worth it, but right now Delibird isn't even good enough to use in-game. And I know what I'm talking about, because I was forced to use it in a Pokémon X Wonderlocke once; what's more, it was the first Pokémon I obtained through Wonder Trade and - surprise! - it was the very first Pokémon to fall.

I love Delibird's design, but I hate how useless it is in battles, even despite its good physical movepool - including Fly. It even has two different abilities that do the exact same thing; both Insomnia and Vital Spirit prevent it from falling asleep in battles, and the only difference between the two is that the latter has an overworld effect. It's not even a significant one at that. I would like to give Delibird a perfect rating because I love its design so much, but I just can't. I have to subtract at least half a star because it's just a mere gimmick Pokémon, which means my final rating is a 4.5. Not bad either, right?

Rating: 4.5/5

#223 - #224: Remoraid & Octillery

Somehow I think it's weird that American parents go apeshit when they realize their kids are playing a game in which gambling plays a part (anyone remember the Game Corners?), but that they don't mind their children using Pokémon based on weaponry. Then again, owning a rifle has always been seen as a constitutional right rather than a privilege in America, and firearm legislation is not going to change anytime soon, especially not when Gumshoos becomes president.

A girl is using a Remoraid as a water gun, because why not?

But yeah, weaponry is what Remoraid is based on. While it looks a little like a grenade, the form of its fins and its shooting abilities actually give it the appearance of a revolver. Its Japanese name Teppouo
(テッポウオ) - from teppō ('gun') and uo ('fish') - and Chinese name Tiěpàoyú (鐵炮魚) - literally 'iron cannon fish' - even contain the name of some kind of weaponry, whereas that ain't the case in other languages. Remoraid can shoot jets of water at high velocity, hitting targets that are more than 300 feet away with incredible accuracy. While this trait may remind you of an archerfish, Remoraid is probably more based on a remora, a kind of fish that has a tendency to cling onto larger animals - like manta rays, sharks, whales, turtles and dugongs - with dorsal fins that take the form of an oval, suction-like organ. This gave it the name of suckerfish, or even 'sharksucker' and 'whalesucker'. Mantine, a manta ray Pokémon, is always depicted with a Remoraid attached to one of its wing-like fins, and that's exactly Remoraid's intention: it's an easy way of traveling. It doesn't even have to scavenge for food, because it just feeds on Mantine's leftovers.

Remoraid shooting... something out of its mouth. 

However, its evolution Octillery mainly looks like an octopus rather than some kind of weapon, even though its English name is derived from the word 'artillery'. Its Korean name Daepomuno (대포무노) - daepo means 'cannon' and mun'eo 'octopus' - and Chinese name Zhānyútǒng (章魚桶) - from zhānyú ('octopus') and tǒng ('container', probably referring to 'tank') - clearly contain the names of certain kinds of weapons, and I probably don't have to tell you on what weapon its Japanese name Okutank (オクタン) is based on. But these names are deceiving, because Octillery's design has no traits of tanks or wheel cannons and its flavour is actually far from interesting. Okay, it spurts ink at prey, but spurting ink is what octopuses usually do. Octillery even has its own signature move to help attribute to its flavor, Octazooka, and the only other Pokémon that can learn it is the Horsea line, and only through breeding with Octillery. What's more, the Japanese name of the move is 'Okutank Cannon', which is of course a direct reference to Octillery itself. It does surprise me it isn't part steel type, because it bashes things - inanimate or living - with its rock-hard head after it got hold of them tightly with its suction cups; plus, according to Game Freak and Nintendo, it has some traits of tanks and containers, right?

Octillery in the anime.

Octillery really could have used that steel typing though, because it's just a mediocre Pokémon. It's more than fine for in-game purposes, but in the competitive scene it is quite lacking, especially in speed. But now that I take a look at its stats, I have to say that I didn't even know its attack and special attack were that high. I always thought they were around 85 or 90 or something, but 105 base attacking stats aren't all that bad. Oh wow. Still, its HP and defenses all sit at a moderate 75 and that ain't bulky at all. Those mediocre stats allow you to run an all-offensive Octillery, whether it be special or physical. And its special movepool is tremendous: it can learn Surf, Scald, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Energy Ball, Signal Beam, Sludge Bomb, Sludge Wave, Hydro Pump and Flash Cannon. On the physical side of the spectrum we have Gunk Shot, Waterfall, Seed Bomb and even Rock Blast and Bullet Seed. It's a shame Octillery can't get Skill Link, because that ability would have made Rock Blast and Bullet Seed tremendously useful. Going with a Choice Specs or Life Orb set with the Sniper ability (increases the damage of critical hits) is usually the better option, although it's quite common people use mixed Octillery just to fling Gunk Shot onto it or something. Understandable, because a 120-power poison-type move is a big check for fairies.

Still, Octillery is not a top-tier Pokémon, and I can understand why. It's slow, and despite its alleged tank-like aesthetics (honestly, I just can't see it) it's not very tanky at all. Its design is alright, though. I don't hate it - never have - but there's something lacking about Octillery, so I can't go higher than a mere 3.5-star rating. And that's perfectly average.

Rating: 3.5/5

#222: Corsola

Cute fan art of a shiny Corsola (the blue one) playing with
its regular counterpart.

I almost forgot this thing is... a thing. And I even used it in a playthrough. Honestly, it actually managed to put it some work with two Calm Minds up: its special defense is already decent and Calm Mind only buffs that stat up, as well as Corsola's special attack. And the move coverage was crazy; it can learn STAB moves like Surf and Power Gem (water and rock, respectively) and it has access to moves like Earth Power, Ice Beam, Psychic and Shadow Ball. You probably wonder why I wanted to use Corsola in the first place, but I didn't really have a reason for it. I just decided to use it when I caught one. It wasn't my best Pokémon by any means, but it has to be said that's due to Corsola's low base stat total (380). And because of that, Corsola is actually pretty booty, even to use in a goddamn playthrough. I had the luck my Corsola had a Modest nature, otherwise I would have simply ignored it. It goes without saying that Corsola's low stats leave you with nothing else to do but to throw this thing back into the sea without hesitation when you're looking for a competitive Pokémon. Just... don't use it. The fact that I had fun with it for a while doesn't mean that you will enjoy using it, but just in case I have piqued your interest and you want to use it now: by all means, go ahead.

Nice sub-aquatic art of Corsola. Surprisingly, there is quite some
fan art of Corsola to be found on the Internet. 

However, Corsola is one of those Pokémon that easily keeps being forgotten. Even by me, and I used one to guide me through Pokémon X. It's a shame, because Game Freak used an interesting concept to define Corsola: red coral, which is used as a precious stone because of its durable and intensely colored red or pink skeleton. The Dutch even call it bloedkoraal ('blood coral') because of the intense red color. However, excessive fishing has damaged the species along the Mediterranean coastline, which has resulted in several protection enactments. The tips of Corsola's head is also treasured for its beauty - they even glitter in seven colors when they catch sunlight - but at least Corsola can shed its branches and grow them back over the course of a single night when it's healthy. When the water it lives in is polluted, however, the branches discolor and deteriorate due to a lack of nutrition Corsola gets from clear water. The one thing I think should have been included in Corsola's Pokédex entries is whether it has been hunted to near extinction for its growths or not, similar to its real-life counterpart red coral. The protection laws that have been in effect in Banyuls, Carry-le-Rouet and Scandola - the three oldest Mediterranean Marine Protected Areas, all off the coast of the island of Corsica - since their approval resulted in growing colonies of red coral at shallow and deeper depths.

Yeah, it would have been nice if Corsola's Pokédex entries had contained such information, but at least Game Freak gave this Pokémon some thought. I think. I'm not a huge fan of the design, but I guess it's okay, although it'll have an influence on my overall rating of Corsola. The same counts for its nonexistent competitive abilities and the fact that it's a forgettable Pokémon at best, but I won't be savage: Corsola gets a 3.5-star rating.

Rating: 3.5/5

#220 - #221, #473: Swinub, Piloswine & Mamoswine

Swinub in a grassy plain, not their usual habitat by any means.

Swinub is one of those Pokémon that has gained significance due to its final evolution, Mamoswine, which was introduced two generations later than Swinub and Piloswine. Of course, Swinub itself is nothing special. With a base stat total of 250 it is the weakest ice-type Pokémon in existence, and it stays that way until it evolves into Piloswine at level 33 and finally becomes useful. While it is obviously a piglet - a wild boar piglet at that, considering the stripes on its back - it also has some traits of Peruvian guinea pigs, which have long, shaggy hair that even covers their little legs, as is the case with Swinub. Swinub likes a particular type of mushroom that grows under dead grass, and it searches for them by smell, often discovering hot springs buried under ice in the process. It reminds me of the pigs that were often used for locating and extracting a rare and very expensive type of mushroom delicacy called the truffle, although the use of these so-called truffle hogs has been prohibited since 1985. It seemed that the pigs had an extremely strong appetite for these truffles, which caused damage to the truffles' mycelium (the vegetative part of a fungus) during the excavation and dropped the production rate of the area for some years. These days, well-trained dogs are used to find the delicacy.

A Mamoswine - the big fella in the back - with its family, a
Piloswine (left) and two Swinub (right).

Swinub is like that, too: if it smells an enticing fragrance, it dashes toward it and won't stop until it finds the source. Piloswine is a bit more 'sophisticated', so to speak, as it uses its sensitive nose and ears to check its surroundings instead. It does that because its eyes are usually covered up by tufts of fur and is unable to see properly. Its tusks look insignificant, but they are made of ice, thicken when it snows and have occasionally been proved to be lethal. While Piloswine doesn't have visible hooves, not even when its legs can be seen in full glory, its Pokédex entries talk of hooves that ensure even footing on icy ground, which indicates that Piloswine may be based on a yak. But that idea is thrown out of the window when it evolves into Mamoswine by leveling it up while it knows Ancient Power. Mamoswine, as its name suggests, is based on a mammoth or mastodon - both belong to different genera; they are classified as mammuthus and mammut, respectively. In any case, both are proboscideans that are distant ancestors of the elephant. Mamoswine, however, has a pig's snout instead of a proboscis (also called a 'trunk'), although such hybrid Pokémon are not uncommon. It's interesting to know that even in the Pokémon world there were ice ages, and Mamoswine allegedly disappeared after the last one, until one was dug up from soil/ice (Platinum and HeartGold seem to disagree on which one it is) dating back 10,000 years. To much amazement, it woke up, having survived harsh cold and severe hunger for so many years. It's a bit illogical to say Mamoswine's population thinned 10,000 years in the past while Swinub and Piloswine kept 'existing', but whatever. This is Game Freak we're talking about after all, so what else should I have expected?

Dawn's party, including a Mamoswine. 

Well, what you can expect is a competitive monster. Mamoswine has some beefy HP and a mammoth attack stat - sorry, I had to - with which it can endure quite some hits and hit back as hard as it possibly can. A Life Orb set is obvious here, with a Jolly nature for some more speed, which it needs, or an Adamant nature to boost its attack even further. Its hidden ability Thick Fat is the best option here, as it halves damage from incoming ice- and fire-type moves, the latter of which Mamoswine usually has a weakness to. Because it's quite bulky, it can set up Stealth Rock and proceed annihilating things with moves like Icicle Crash, Earthquake, Superpower, Iron Head, Knock Off, Stone Edge and Rock Slide, while Ice Shard is a rather weak move that does have increased priority. It depends on what you need. Unfortunately, it has no means of boosting its attack apart from a Choice Band, but that item limits it to using one move only.

A Mamoswine set is kind of straightforward, as you - and your opponent, for that matter - know exactly what's gonna come. Evolving Piloswine is tedious, as you have to wait until you get to a Move Relearner in order for them to teach your Piloswine Ancient Power, but at least the result is satisfying. Design-wise I'm not Mamoswine's biggest fan, but at least Game Freak's attempt to create a worthy evolution for Piloswine has paid off. I'll give it a 4-star rating, but only just.

Rating: 4/5

#218 - #219: Slugma & Magcargo

I think Slugma's old official art (right) is much better than its
current official art (left). The latter's snout shape is just so weird
compared to the other. 

Talk about insignificant. Slugma and Magcargo have never been such popular Pokémon and I can understand why, even though I quite like them personally. That is to blame on a mix of terrible competitive utility, horrendous flavor inconsistency, and its overall easy-to-forget design. While they're not exactly the same, Numel and Camerupt can do what Slugma and Magcargo can, only much better. Camerupt even has a Mega to boot. But surely there are some positive aspects to be found of Slugma and Magcargo, right? Slugma, a little magma slug, has a circulatory system composed entirely of intensely hot magma, which delivers vital nutrients and oxygen to its organs. However, it never sleeps nor ever stops moving in order to prevent its body from cooling or hardening, because if it does it will become brittle and start to break apart. Slugma's shiny form is gray and may be based on cooled, hardened magma, which is usually a metallic gray color.

Magcargo.

But whereas Slugma's body may be intensely hot, Magcargo's body temperature is ridiculously high. I'd say even impossibly high, because at 18,000°F its body is even hotter than the surface of the sun (9,940°F). It would be impossible to approach Magcargo in the first place, let alone touch it. And according to its Pokédex entries, its magma body causes water to evaporate on contact, yet in the games it is still 4x weak to water due to its additional rock type. That's due to the rocky shell, which is just skin that has hardened and is brittle enough to be crumbled apart by touching it slightly, but Magcargo - the 'cargo' part being derived from 'cargo' and escargot, the French word for 'snail' - can reform its body by dipping itself in magma. That reminds me of Magmar, who dips its body in lava in order to instantly recover from its injuries, but reforming your body is still an entirely different thing than healing it. While Slugma and Magcargo are believed to be based on the Chilean myth of the Cherufe, mythical evil creatures of rock and magma that are found in the mythology of the indigenous Mapuche people in south-central Chile and southwestern Argentina and inhabit the magma pools of Chilean volcanoes, nothing actually indicates that those monsters take on the form of snails or slugs.

A more 'realistic' approach to Macargo: a magma snail with a
shell on its back. Snails don't usually let fire escape from their
shells, but whatever. 

In legends, Cherufe are the source of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions; and while Magcargo can learn Earthquake, it's not evidence of it being based on the Cherufe, because many other Pokémon can learn Earthquake as well. Magcargo doesn't even learn Eruption, but it doesn't need it. This move does more damage the more HP Magcargo has, but Magcargo is slow in the first place and it will always take a hit first, instantly reducing its HP and weakening Eruption. Handier is Shell Smash, which sharply raises Magcargo's attack, special attack and speed but lowers each defense stat by one stage. It's an appropriate move for it (however, despite the brittle shell its defense is still a solid base 120) and if you manage to pull it off, you're good to go. Unfortunately, Magcargo doesn't have many coverage moves: Earth Power isn't even STAB, the only special-based rock-type move it gets is Ancient Power, and the only good moves it has aside from Earth Power are its fire-type moves. Lava Plume, Flamethrower and Heat Wave are pretty reliable, while Fire Blast is stronger but less accurate. As for items and abilities, Magcargo isn't very viable competitively, and it is outclassed by so many other fire-type Pokémon in the tier (PU; partly used) that it's not even funny. Don't even think about using Magcargo as a defensive support Pokémon, because its low HP won't back up its great defense stat, and common water- and ground-types will completely annihilate it. And let's not start about its mediocre special defense. It can still be a decent in-game Pokémon with any desirable item attached to it, if you have the patience to wait for Slugma to evolve into Magcargo at level 38.

Magcargo is not as good as it should have been, but at least Game Freak went with an interesting concept, flavor inconsistency aside (a body hotter than the sun's surface, really?). Plus, I quite like its design, and it makes me think that it's just a shame that Magcargo isn't a better Pokémon overall. I don't think I'm ever gonna use it, but I don't hate it. Like, at all.

Rating: 4/5

#216 - #217: Teddiursa & Ursaring

I never had a teddy bear. I had a stuffed thing that I called Knuffie (literal translation: Huggie, obviously not named after the diapers), but I didn't have a goddamn teddy bear. Until I got one in the form of a Teddiursa plush, that is, but I didn't like it very much and thus I didn't have it for very long. At a later time, I think I regretted the decision to discard it a little, because I've come to like Teddiursa and Ursaring much more than I did back then. Well, I was a stubborn child with certain favorite Pokémon and I didn't want to know anything about the rest of them. What more can I say?

This is not the Teddiursa plush I owned, but it's
so fluffy that I had to include it.

Why, I'm gonna say something about Teddiursa and Ursaring. That's what I'm gonna do, because that's what this whole article is for in the first place. Teddiursa loves honey, which is something that is derived from a trait of certain honey-loving bears such as the sloth bear or the Malayan sun bear. But Teddiursa doesn't just have a voracious appetite for this sticky stuff; no, it can also concoct its own honey by blending fruit and Beedrill pollen and absorbs the honey into its forepaws, which it is often seen licking. The crescent marking on its head - which might have been based on the mythology of the constellation Ursa Minor (more commonly called the Little Bear; ursa is Latin for 'bear') - begins to glow when it finds honey already made. Then it evolves into Ursaring: the crescent moon on its forehead changes into a full moon or new moon on its chest, and the aesthetic traits are more likely derived from Asian bears and grizzlies. Unfortunately, that's approximately where the interesting Pokédex entries end. Whereas Game Freak took the concept of honey bears and made Teddiursa's traits actually interesting because honey bears can't actually do what Teddiursa can, Ursaring is nothing special. I like its design, sure, and I have to admit it's a strong and useful Pokémon, but flavor-wise Game Freak really missed the mark when it comes to Ursaring. I mean, you're not gonna tell me that gathering food, sleeping in treetops, a keen olfactory sense (it can distinguish any kind of aroma), marking fruit-bearing trees in its territory with its claws and being too lazy to climb trees to pick fruit (it snaps them instead and collects any fruit and berries that fall down) is overly fascinating. The funny thing is that I never really complained about these Pokédex entries until I started this fucking blog and realized that the flavor of certain Pokémon isn't really all that interesting.

In battles the flavor doesn't matter, but it's nice to see one that matches a Pokémon's battle style (or vice versa) or one that's just an entirely different take on an already existing concept. It's lame to copy the traits of a certain animal and try to pull them off as the traits of a Pokémon based on that animal.

Cute, tiny Teddiursa (right) accompanied by other bear cubs: Pancham (left) and
Cubchoo (middle).

But enough with this lecture, let's take a gander at Ursaring's competitive abilities. Looking at its stats, I see a couple of problems: it's slow and its defenses are mediocre, although it is definitely capable of taking a hit or two due to its very decent HP stat. Furthermore, Ursaring's low speed can be compensated by one of its main abilities, Quick Feet, which raises its speed by 50% when it suffers from a status condition such as poison or paralysis. Guts does the exact same thing, only for attack instead of speed. Both are fine and allow Ursaring to hold onto one single item: the Toxic Orb. That item is the safest option, because the burn Ursaring gets from a Flame Orb halves its attack stat; and although Guts prevents that, Quick Feet does not. Both sets allow you to use Swords Dance, which sharply raises Ursaring's attack, and Facade, a move of base 70 power that doubles when - you guessed it - Ursaring is inflicted by a status condition, although the first set works better with a Jolly nature and the second set with an Adamant nature. To top it off, Ursaring has access to a variety of useful physical moves like Crunch, Close Combat, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Power-Up Punch, Play Rough, Gunk Shot, Seed Bomb and the elemental punches.

Don't fuck with these bears. From left to right: Cubchoo's evolution Beartic,
Ursaring, and Pancham's evolution Pangoro.

It's a shame I didn't like Teddiursa and Ursaring all that much when I was a kid, but at least I appreciate their very existence now. Although I never used it in a playthrough, I am planning on using one in a distant playthrough of Pokémon Sun or Moon. Ursaring is not one of my favorite Pokémon ever, but at least it doesn't have to worry about getting a bad rating.

Rating: 4.5/5