#479: Rotom

No, you didn't miss anything; between Abomasnow and Rotom there's a large batch of Gen. IV evolutions of Pokémon introduced in previous generations, and I've already reviewed them accordingly. All the better, because the huge gap in the National Pokédex makes me feel I have made some progress at least, ha ha ha.

Regular Rotom surrounded by its five alternate forms. Clockwise
starting from the top left: Frost Rotom, Fan Rotom, Wash Rotom,
Mow Rotom and Heat Rotom.

Anyway, as I've mentioned before, today's Pokémon is a curious little critter called Rotom. It is unique in the fact that it is the only electric/ghost dual-type Pokémon and the only Pokémon to have its type changed into a type that wasn't newly introduced. Introduced in Diamond and Pearl as a Pokémon with the ability of possessing several household appliances, Rotom can change its appearance in order to correspond with the design of the appliance it possesses from Platinum onwards, and for in-game purposes this means it has no fewer than six different forms. The default form is its regular electric/ghost-type form that resembles a lightning rod; the others are a microwave oven, a washing machine, a lawnmower, a refrigerator and an electric fan. These alternate forms didn't have a different type than regular Rotom when they were first introduced to us in Platinum, but this all changed in Gen. V: Heat Rotom became electric/fire, Wash Rotom electric/water, Mow Rotom electric/grass, Frost Rotom electric/ice (even though it's a refrigerator and not a freezer, it must have a built-in freezer unit), and Fan Rotom electric/flying. This opened the path for brand new competitive strategies, as a few of these type combinations are extraordinarily useful in the competitive metagame, especially when you consider all forms come with the ability Levitate and thus aren't weak to ground-type moves due to their being part electric - although this ability is quite redundant on Fan Rotom due to its flying type making it immune to ground in the first place. But I'll talk some more about Rotom's competitive utility later on in this review.

An amazing drawing of all Rotom forms gathered together. Even
the electrical auras of the different forms look different; Wash
Rotom's looks like a clothespin, Heat Rotom's is reminiscent of
oven mitts, Mow Rotom's resembles splintered wood, Frost
Rotom's bears resemblances to lightning bolts, and Fan Rotom's
look like wind currents. 

First off, how is Rotom able to enter and control these electronic devices in the first place? Well, it has a body of plasma with a whitish aura of electricity around it that forms lightning bolt-shaped appendages, and it appears to be based on uproarious and disrupting ghoul-like creatures called poltergeists. While poltergeists are generally believed to be responsible for physical disturbances such making loud noises, moving objects around (by levitation, if necessary) and sometimes even possessing certain objects, folkloric creatures called gremlins are more notorious for causing malfunctions in aircraft and other machinery. I want to believe poltergeists are the actual inspiration for Rotom here, as indicated by its specific ability to possess home appliances and the fact that ball lightning, an unexplained atmospheric electrical phenomenon involving luminous spherical objects bouncing about, might often cause the spooky movement of objects blamed on poltergeists. Also, poltergeists tend to wander about in urban/suburban areas and cause disturbances in the homes of middle-class families when depicted in popular media - or maybe I have that idea because I watched the 1982 supernatural horror film Poltergeist a couple of times, although the same could be said about the 1984 movie Gremlins. In any case, you first encounter Rotom in a creepy old mansion called the Old Chateau, inside of a defective TV, of all things. Go figure.

Official artwork of the Rotom Pokédex. The right image demonstrates how the
device actually works.

However, while Rotom is a mischievous creature and takes over electronic devices in order to play practical jokes on people, causing all sorts of problems, scientists continue to conduct research on this Pokémon because they think it could be the power source of a unique motor (Rotom is 'motor' spelled backwards, probably a reference to the fact that motors make many appliances function while Rotom makes them fail). While this specific Pokédex entry appeared in HeartGold and SoulSilver first, Game Freak surprised us three generations later by introducing the first ever Pokédex inhabited by a Pokémon: Rotom! Positioned on the lower screen of your 3DS, the Rotom Pokédex gives you unwanted advice, asks you stupid questions, rambles on about nothing in particular and sometimes makes lame-ass jokes, but also helps you out in sticky situations by granting you another chance to perform a Z-Move, gathers and stores data of all Pokémon found in Alola and shows you the way by almost continuously displaying a map of the region on its screen. It is kind of a double-edged sword, as the Rotom Pokédex can get pretty annoying at times, but I like its cheeky personality and the features it provides.

Holy shit, think about it: your Pokédex is a living, sentient being that talks to you and helps you out on your journey to becoming a Pokémon Master. Pokémon is getting more awesome every day, I swear.

Rotom having fun with a microwave oven. 

We now know what Rotom is based on and what this Pokémon encompasses, but I said I would talk about its competitive prowess; and to tell you the truth, its regular form isn't anything worth mentioning. Although the encounter music that is played when encountering Rotom in Gen. IV is the same music used with legendary encounters, its stats are all but legendary. I urge you to find the place wher you can change Rotom into one of its other five forms and do just that, because its 'measly' 440 base stat total will rise notably, exchanging a little bit of speed for significantly more bulk and slightly more offensive presence. Heat and Wash Rotom are the most popular forms to use in the competitive metagame, which isn't surprising, as fire is one of the best offensive types in the game and Heat Rotom's otherwise terrible quadruple weakness is nullified by Levitate, while Wash Rotom has literally only one weakness (also due to Levitate) and is therefore a great defensive asset to any team. Frost and Mow Rotom don't really have that defensive presence, and Fan Rotom doesn't have a STAB move that is strong enough - Heat, Wash, Mow and Frost Rotom get Overheat, Hydro Pump, Leaf Storm and Blizzard, respectively, while Fan Rotom will have to do with the much weaker Air Slash.

Looks like Rotom is having some fun in what looks like a
control room.

As for complete sets for some of these Rotom forms, I am not going into detail for all of them, especially not Fan Rotom. For Wash Rotom, however, I would definitely recommend a defensive set consisting of Hydro Pump, Volt Switch, Will-O-Wisp and Defog, to cripple physical threats and remove entry hazards. Pain Split is often used for some recovery, although it is not always a very reliable way to restore HP; an Iapapa Berry or Sitrus Berry will do the trick more effectively. More options are Substitute, Rest and Sleep Talk, as well as the Letovers as a very solid hold item and a Bold or Calm nature to boost one of its defenses. It's your call whether you want to make it physically or specially bulky. You could actually go the same way with Heat Rotom and be just fine, although an offensive moveset might do more in this case because of Heat Rotom's amazing offensive typing: a Timid or Modest nature lets it be slightly faster or specially offensive, respectively, while a Firium Z (the fire-type Z-Crystal) can change its Overheat attack to an insanely strong Inferno Overdrive. Choice Specs aren't bad either, and might even be more reliable in the long run, as a moveset consisting of Overheat, Volt Switch, Thunderbolt and either Shadow Ball or some type of Hidden Power doesn't seem all that strong in the first place and a Choice Specs might just be the item Heat Rotom needs to give its moves a little bit more oomph.

Frost and Mow Rotom aren't used as frequently as Heat and Wash Rotom, but ice and grass are pretty good offensive types, which mean you could slap the Choice Specs or an Icium Z on it (Grassium Z in Mow Rotom's case), but I reckon you should just use the Rotom of your preference. I mean, my favorite form is Mow Rotom and that's not a popular one at all - I even think it's the second least favorite form behind Fan Rotom among Pokémon fans. I don't know if it's its typing or its maniacal grin that is putting people off, but that's exactly what I like about it in the first place.

All of the Rotom forms doing what they can do best.

One more curious thing about Rotom's origins is that Bulbapedia suggests that this Pokémon is based on the main character from the 1994 Sega game Pulseman, on which Ken Sugimori (responsible for all of the Pokémon's official artwork), Satoshi Tajiri (the creator of Pokémon) and Junichi Masuda (director, producer and composer for many Pokémon games) all worked on. Aside from the spike on Pulseman's head and the fact that it was designed by Ken Sugimori, I really don't see the resemblance with Rotom. However, Pulseman is half human, half AI and I guess his subsequent power to channel electricity through his body and use it as both a weapon and a means of quick transport might be reminiscent of Rotom's ability to permeate household appliances as well as it being made up of plasma and electricity. There's a whole list of references to Pulseman in the Pokémon games, but I personally think it's a little bit of a stretch to compare the two franchises, even though the same people worked on both of them (honestly, Pulseman isn't even a franchise, just a stand-alone game).

Rotom is without a doubt one of the most unique, creative and popular Pokémon Game Freak have ever created. It's a fan favorite for a reason: there are a lot of Pokémon that are based on contemporary animals, extinct creatures, mythical entities and/or inanimate objects, but a poltergeist able to take control of electronic devices must be one Game Freak's most genius inventions. Aside from that, Rotom is pretty viable in the competitive scene, so I'm sure that contributes to its popularity as well. I have to say that Rotom is not one of my personal top favorites, but I still think it's damn worthy of a 5-star rating from me!

Rating: 5/5

#459 - #460: Snover & Abomasnow

Somehow I managed to take it upon myself to listen to every goddamn Eurovision song in existence during the past two and a half months. The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual song competition watched by more than 200 million people in Europe every year and has been around uninterrupted since 1956, with now over 1500 different entries, so it took a long time before I was done checking them all out. It totally explains my long absence from this blog, so I would like to apologize for that while I'm at it. But now I'm back, bitches! It's been a while since I posted a review - New Year's Eve, to be precise - so I wonder if I've still got it in me. Let's start where we left off, shall we?

Snover as depicted in TCG.

Today's topic is Snover, a cute little snow-covered tree Pokémon that is basically nothing more than a walking fir tree topped with a layer of snow. While its brown lower body resembles a pinecone of some sort, Snover is more likely to be the illegitimate love child of the Yeti and an evergreen tree. Sure enough, Snover live mainly on snowy mountains with little human contact, but they move to the lower reaches when the weather turns cold (Jesus fucking Christ, Snover, are you an ice-type Pokémon or what?) and returning to the summit in the spring, when it grows edible white berries with the texture of frozen treats along its midsection for some indiscernible reason. They are boldly inquisitive when it comes to humans, approaching them without fear and gathering around footsteps they find in the mountains. It's all very cute - even its 'hat' resembling three mountain peaks, which is a nice little touch - but Snover isn't nearly as fascinating as its evolution, as is the case with many basic-form Pokémon.

Abomasnow whipping up a blizzard. 

Abomasnow, whose name is an obvious play on the Abominable Snowman (a.k.a. the Yeti of Nepalese folklore), is where things start to get really interesting. This monstrosity is basically still a big walking tree, but the mustache-like appendages that cover its mouth remind me of Cthulhu, which is a classic creature within the pantheon of Lovecraftian cosmic entities for being a gigantic octopus worshipped by cultists. It gives Abomasnow kind of a creepy appearance, that's for sure. Like its pre-evolution Snover, Abomasnow prefers snowy mountains to live in and appears only when snow flowers bloom. Once the flowers wither, it retreats to isolated areas, where it creates blizzards to hide itself from humans, even creating the legend of the Abominable Snowman within the Pokémon universe this way. The most interesting part about this is that Abomasnow is based on a certain phenomenon called juhyou, in which harsh winters in the northern prefectures in Japan cause landscapes to become white and ghostly and the trees to get completely covered in ice. It's an eldritch but stunning sight, and as the phenomenon only occurs in Japan, I have no doubt juhyou (literally 'frost-covered trees') were the main inspiration for Abomasnow's design.

Abomasnow is also the only name that is a play on the common term for a folkloric creature, as all of its foreign names suggest it has royal blood in some way. Its Japanese name Yukinooh (ユキノオー) literally means 'snow king' (yuki no ō); in its French and German names of Blizzaroi and Rexblisar, respectively, roi and rex both mean 'king', with roi being French and rex being Latin; and its Korean and Mandarin Chinese names of Nunseolwang (눈설왕) and Bàoxuěwáng (暴雪王) both contain the word wang, which of course means 'king' as well.

You'll see the actual Mega Abomasnow in a minute, but I wanted
to include this amazing piece of realistic fan art here for the sole
reason that it is outright terrifying. 

However, Abomasnow is all but a king in competitive play. Even when the sprouts on its back grow into huge-ass icicles as Mega Abomasnow, this Pokémon is nothing short of underwhelming. This is partly due to Abomasnow's terrible typing, as its grass/ice typing gives it weaknesses to no fewer than seven different types, one of them being a quadruple one to fire. Even its solid bulk (base 90 HP as well as base 105 defense and special defense) won't make it live a Fire Blast or a Flare Blitz, and there are a lot of people that have at least one fire-type coverage move on one of their competitive Pokémon, because fire is such a great offensive typing and resists all of Abomasnow's STAB moves. Mega Abomasnow is also excruciatingly slow as its back now has to support enormous shafts of ice, and I can only assume it has taken a hunched posture in order for its back to carry the weight of these icicles. It's not a terrible Pokémon to use, however, and a Brave or Quiet nature allows it to attack on both sides of the spectrum. With both physical and special STAB moves like Blizzard (100% accurate due to its ability Snow Warning summoning a hailstorm in battle), Wood Hammer, Giga Drain, Ice Shard (always hits first unless countered with another priority move or cancelled due to certain moves or abilities), Ice Beam, Energy Ball, Ice Punch, Seed Bomb and Avalanche (does double damage when acting last, but that's a plus with Mega Abomasnow's abominable speed star), you can expect this Pokémon to hit very hard. All moves vary in power and effect and could be tremendously useful, so pick whatever suits your needs. You could even opt to throw a few coverage moves like Focus Blast, Iron Tail, Earthquake, Outrage, Rock Slide, Shadow Ball and Brick Break into the mix or give its Swords Dance to give a boost to its attack. This here variety is why Abomasnow's Mega form is often used as a mixed attacker.

As for regular Abomasnow, I would not recommend using it whatsoever. It is significantly less bulky and offensive while it is only slightly faster, and it'll go down quicker than you can say "Motherfucker!" Yes, it has Soundproof, which nullifies all sound-based moves used on it, but it really doesn't matter if you're going to use Mega Abomasnow anyway.

The 'real' Mega Abomasnow.

Abomasnow is certainly an interesting Pokémon, and I have to admit that I quite disliked it when it was first introduced to us: it looked weird and creepy and it made me slightly uncomfortable. I have come to like this thing, however, even though it left me quite underwhelmed during the one time that I used it and its Mega in an X or Y playthrough. Its origins are interesting, however, and its Mega is a significant improvement compared to its original design, as it now looks like a terrifying, shaggy fur monster you don't want to encounter in the wild. It won't get a perfect rating by any means, probably not even in the future, but 4.5 stars ain't bad.

And we're off to a good start, aren't we? Just you wait until I'll be reviewing the next Pokémon on the list.

Rating: 4.5/5

#378: Regice

Regice's icy body looks very much crystalline in this stunning
piece of fan art. 

Whereas Regirock's typing makes it more plausible it's actually based on the golems of Jewish folklore, Regice and Registeel are most likely just loosely based on these mythical creatures, being made of ice and steel rather than stone - or ceramic, for that matter. Regirock might be the most aesthetically pleasing of the three legendary titans, but I have to admit Regice is a lot more interesting flavor-wise. Its deep-frozen body, made entirely of Antarctic ice during an ice age, is cloaked in air of -328°F and everything and everyone that comes near it will be frozen solid instantly. Fire won't melt Regice's body, and even if it's immersed in magma it will remain intact. Dude, how fucking awesome is that? This giant ice statue can take a bath in scorching magma if it desires so and will come out unscathed no matter what. That is scientifically impossible, as ice starts to melt at a temperature of 32°F. Which, by the way, is kind of a weird thing for me to say, because I live in the Netherlands and we use the Celsius scale instead of the Fahrenheit scale (as well as the metric system rather than the imperial system), so I've learned that the freezing point of water is exactly 0°C and the boiling point 100°C - and not 212°F, as the Americans so stubbornly hang on to. It's so easy to learn English and tell apart the spelling differences between the British and American variants, but the measurement systems used in English-speaking countries are an absolute mess and I just cannot learn them by heart, no matter how hard I try. Google to the rescue, I guess...

Official Sugimori art of Regice. 

But I ain't here to rant about no goddamn illogical measurement systems. This entry is about Regice, and basically it's just a specially oriented ice-type variant of Regirock. Whereas the latter has great attack and crazy defense, Regice is blessed with a great special attack stat and an insanely high special defense stat. Its special movepool might not be as impressive as Regirock's physical movepool, but there's definitely something we can work with. First off, Regice isn't very fast, so it's an option to set up with Rock Polish first and bombard the opposing Pokémon with moves like Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Focus Blast, Flash Cannon, Ancient Power and Signal Beam. Of course, such a set is supported by a Modest nature and a Life Orb, although the Choice Specs are viable as well if you drop Rock Polish for an attacking move. It could also be used as an offensive tank, sporting the Leftovers and the move Thunder Wave in order to paralyze - and thus slow down - foes, only to take advantage of that later on by shooting off its offensive moves in rapid succession. Okay, I'm overreacting a little bit, but at least it's an option. However, ice isn't a great defensive typing at all, resisting only itself, and Regice's glaring weaknesses to types like fighting, fire, rock and steel (the latter isn't as prevalent in competitive play as I'd like it to be) will only wear it down quicker, especially since three of the four tend to be physical-based rather than special-based. Finally, Clear Body prevents any stat reductions on Regice and is definitely the preferred ability, as Ice Body only heals its HP in hail, which will almost never occur in a competitive match. Unless one of the Pokémon has Snow Warning, that is...

The Regis all lined up. From left to right: Regice, Registeel and Regirock.

While I think Regice is definitely interesting, its design is a bit too blocky to my taste. Especially the conical feet/legs are off-putting; they seem tremendously impractical and I'm 100% positive that those disc-shaped things attached to the underside of Regice's body prevent it from walking in an ordinary fashion. Then again, a Pokémon of Regice's caliber would probably just float; if it's cool enough to bathe in magma without melting, I'm sure floating wouldn't be that big of a problem. In any case, Regice isn't as competitively useful as Regirock and I am of the opinion that its design could have been a little bit better as well. Therefore, I won't grant it a perfect rating; instead, it'll have to do with 'just' 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#363 - #365: Spheal, Sealeo & Walrein

Isn't Spheal honestly the most adorable thing you've ever seen? When playing through Pokémon Sapphire for the first time, I immediately fell in love with it and decided it would be on my team for the remainder of the playthrough... until it evolved, that is. It's a shame Game Freak felt obliged to give Spheal a first- and second-stage evolution, but I guess the end justifies the means; Spheal doesn't look like it's strong on its own, and it certainly isn't, so its evolutions were mere necessities. That doesn't stop me from loving this thing more than its evolutions, though; I put it on number 50 in my top 50 of favorite Pokémon four years ago, which I did for a reason, and it is still one of my favorite Pokémon to date.

It is just. Too. Cute.

Adorable little Spheal in TCG. Look at it, it's so happy!

One of the reasons for that is obviously its round shape. It looks like it can be used as a ball for all kinds of ball sports such as soccer, basketball and volleyball, and even leisure activities like bowling or bouncing around on a Hoppity Hop. Can you even imagine using it as a ball for certain kinds of arcade games, like Skee-Ball and pinball? In Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire, you can't actually use Spheal as a pinball to play with, but you can try to hit Spheal with the pinball - which is a Poké Ball or an upgraded version of that in this game - once one of them hops onto the icy slide. If you manage to do that, the Spheal will accelerate and go up the slide, ending up on a Sealeo that will bounce it into the basket (the same kind used in basketball) with its nose, as seen in the image below. It'll earn you more points than throwing the 'pinball' up the slide.

The Spheal bonus stage in Pokémon Pinball: Ruby and Sapphire. The left Sealeo
is tossing a Poké Ball - the 'pinball' - into the basket, while the right one is tossing a
Spheal into it after the player gave it a push with their Poké Ball.

Spheal's appearance and flavor makes it even cuter: the stubby little ears, the sparkling eyes, the funny muzzle, its happy face... Did you know Spheal claps its fins when it's happy or cheerful, and that groups of them clap in unison when they're having a meal together, just to show their pleasure? That must be a sight to behold, and their noises must be like music to your ears. Too cute. Also, did you know that its blue fur is actually really plushy? Or that it moves around by rolling across ice floes because its body isn't suited for swimming or walking? Well, at least you know now, and none of this information is even the least bit trivial, goddammit. For heaven's sake, it is known for crossing oceans atop icebergs. That is not something I'm against, either: Spheal can bob right towards Europe, hop onto the Dutch mainland and jump directly into my arms, because it puts a smile on my face every time I look at it and I want to have one right this fucking instant. Spheal is pure joy. Spheal is love. Spheal is life. And if you don't agree with me, I'mma hunt you down and force you to watch images, videos and GIFs of Spheal until you can't take no more and die of sheer cuteness.

(Disclaimer: I may have exaggerated just a little bit in the paragraph above. Don't take me too seriously, now.)

Sealeo's official Sugimori art. Is it just me, or does Sealeo have a
double chin?

But then Spheal evolves and I have to miss my precious little beach ball. Sealeo doesn't look bad by any means - it is perfectly fat for a seal and looks like a logical evolution of my beloved little bouncing ball - but I'm not a big fan of its design and part of that is owing to that weirdly shaped mustache, which are actually whiskers; thick, fat whiskers at that, goddamn. I know their purpose is to make Sealeo blend in with Spheal and its evolution Walrein, who is even hairier than Sealeo, but I feel like they're too big for Sealeo's face. I also have the feeling many people readily forget it exist, and I must say it is kind of a forgettable Pokémon, even though it's a moderately interesting one flavor-wise. While its name suggests it's based on a sea lion, it is actually inspired from seals, much like its pre-evolution. Like the real deal, Sealeo tends to roll anything new it sees on its snout to test its smell and texture, even entertaining itself by balancing Spheal on its nose (as demonstrated by the Spheal bonus stage in Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire). Sealeo's tenedency to balance things on its muzzle is very reminiscent of the way seals in zoological parks perform tricks to provide for our entertainment. You can find the English word 'juggler' in Sealeo's Japanese name Todoggler (トドグラー), while its respective French and German names of Phogleur and Seejong both derive from jongleur - or Jongleur in German, because the German tend to capitalize every single noun - and its Chinese name Hǎimóshī (海魔獅) contains mó​shù​shī, which can also mean 'magician'.

TCG art of Walrein.

But Sealeo's juggling days are over when it evolves into Walrein, who is a... walrus. I mean, if a goddamn seagull can turn into an annoying-ass pelican or a bunch of eggs (pardon me, seeds) can change into a dragon-type coconut palm, surely a seal can evolve into a walrus, right? Anything is possible in Pokémon. At least Walrein's design has a certain degree of coherency, as its white hair blends in quite well with its blue body, whereas Sealeo's huge mustache feels comically out of place. The cream color of Spheal and Sealeo's bodies are now almost entirely gone in Walrein's design, and only its huge and powerful tusks look yellow now. Seriously, Walrein, brush your teeth. All joking aside, Walrein's prized tusks are strong enough to break a 10-ton iceberg in one hit, although it is possible for them to break off during battle. As if Spheal and Sealeo weren't fat enough, Walrein now has a thick blubber that not only repels incoming attacks, but also protects it against the temperatures of the frigid waters it swims in.

This looks amazing. Very realistic!

And Walrein is a bulky motherfucker, that's for sure. It's damn nigh impossible to kill it in one hit, and that is due to its crazy base 110 HP stat and very decent base 90 defenses. Unfortunately, it lacks access to Scald and therefore loses a bit of its competitive utility, but at least it's still a great addition to any in-game team due to its high special attack and access to Surf and Ice Beam. (Did I really say that Walrein isn't a good Pokémon to use in a playthrough when I was counting down my list of favorite Pokémon four years ago? God to the fucking damn, I was so dumb and ignorant back then.) Granted, Walrein isn't very zippy, nor is its moveset overly diverse, but its ability to tank hits and retaliate with strong STAB moves can make it a valuable asset to your team. And should you desire to make it more diverse move-wise, you can make it a physical attacker: its base 80 attack stat isn't terrible, and it has acces to some very nifty physical-based moves such as Aqua Tail, Waterfall, Ice Fang, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Iron Head and Iron Tail. Competitively, it's not recommended to use Walrein as an all-out attacker. It's better to utilize its bulk and use it as a supportive Pokémon with a defensive nature, the Thick Fat ability and Leftovers as its held item, as it has access to some interesting status moves: Roar forces the opposing Pokémon to switch out and prevents it from setting up with moves like Calm Mind and Swords Dance, Encore locks the opposing Pokémon into a conceivably undesirable move, Super Fang always deals damage equal to half of the opposing Pokémon's remaining HP, and the Toxic/Protect combo is a classic.

Instead of another Walrein picture, you're getting an image of this adorable Spheal
plushie. Look at it, who could withstand this fluffy pinniped? 

Walrein is alright and all, and I definitely don't hate or dislike it in any way, but I just adore Spheal for its cuteness. I don't give a fuck about how good or bad it is in-game or competitively; some Pokémon belong to my favorites because they are cute, which is also the case with Furret, Shuckle and Mew - although the latter is actually really good in the competitive metagame. I could keep gushing about Spheal, but you already know by now what I think about it and what rating it's going to get.

P.S.: Did you know that Spheal and its evolutions are actually primary ice?

Rating Spheal: 5/5

Rating Walrein: 4/5

#361 - #362, #478: Snorunt, Glalie & Froslass

So only now we've bumped into the first true Gen. III ice types - and no, I do not count Castform's Snowy Forme as such. Hoenn is a tropical region with too much water and it is hard to implement ice types into such a region in the first place, so they were put away in a remote salt cave at the northeastern edge of the region, which - with a little bit of bad luck - would be completely overlooked by the player if they were in a rush to complete the game. Route 125 and Shoal Cave are just north of Mossdeep City, but there is nothing else to find beyond these places, so they're not mandatory for the player to visit. And even though the Snorunt and Spheal lines are the only ice types you can find in the games (not counting Regice as of yet because it is tricky to obtain, and definitely not counting Castform), by the time the player arrives in Mossdeep City they will probably have a full team of six already.

Snorunt plushies, the middle of which is that of a shiny Snorunt. 

Another drawback for players to put a Snorunt on their team is the fact that this little critter evolves at level 42, which is way too damn high for a Pokémon that isn't worth the hassle. Don't get me wrong; Glalie is great and all, but base 80 stats across the board isn't worth waiting until level 42. And with base 50 stats Snorunt can't do an awful lot by itself, either. Instead, I think we should admire what Snorunt is supposed to represent: a small, child-sized Pokémon based on a couple of different yōkai. The zashiki-warashi, or "guestroom child", is a mischievous Japanese spirit in the form of a five- or six-year-old child that is often sighted in Iwate Prefecture, somewhere in northern Japan. Those who see it are said to be visisted with good fortune, which is the exact same thing the Pokédex says about Snorunt, too. Another inspiration for Snorunt might be the yukinko, a childlike spirit said to emerge when it snows, often depicted as elf-like and wearing a yuki mino - the latter being a traditional type of winter wear from the snowy parts of Japan that consists of a conical snow cloak made of straw. Snorunt seems to be stylized version of a yuki mino, which is probably why it can stand temperatures of -150°F. From Pokémon Platinum on, Snorunt's Pokédex description of gathering under giant leaves and living together in harmony with others of its species is a reference to the Koro-pok-guru, a race of small people in the folklore of the Ainu people. They are said to live under the leaves of plants in harmony, and their name seems to support that: Koro-pok-guru literally means "people under the butterbur plant". The only problem is that Snorunt doesn't look the part and that it doesn't fit its design and typing, either.

Official Sugimori art of Glalie.

Nor does Glalie look like a logical evolution of Snorunt, for that matter. It's like the head of a goblin with nothing else attached to it, but basically Glalie consists of a black rock core covered by ice that will not even melt under a direct flame. If that is the case, why wasn't it made part rock type? Glalie would have benefited from that if it hadn't been for these two bad weaknesses to fighting and steel it otherwise would've had, but the latter type wasn't as prevalent in competitive play as it is now with all those fairy types around. Instead, we just got a Pokémon based on a hockey mask whose name is a combination of 'glacier' and 'goalie'. Indeed, 'goalie'; how fucking obvious do you want to make it, anyway? Even its Japanese name Onigohri (オニゴーリ) bears a phonetic similarity to 'goalie', while the word Torwart in Glalie's German name Firnontor means 'goalkeeper'. It doesn't even remotely resemble anything from Japanese culture anymore, aside from maybe a standard type of oni (an ogre- or troll-like creature) with horns. And what about that flavor? It can freeze moisture in the atmosphere... - yeah, no shit; it's a fucking ice type - ...into any shape it desires.

Okay, that's actually pretty cool.

And as if Glalie didn't look ugly enough, it has an ugly personality as well: it actually enjoys putting its prey in a frozen state with its icy-cold breath and gobbling it up afterwards. What's more, Glalie got a Mega evolution that no one saw coming, and it can now temporarily float around with a dislocated jaw. I can almost hear it scream in agony. It's tragic, really, as Mega Glalie can instantly freeze its prey but cannot eat said prey because its jaw is destroyed.

Some pretty cool (get it?) fan art of Froslass.

Glalie's Korean name Urumkisin (얼음귀신) - from eol'eum ('ice') and gwishin ('ghost'), so literally 'ice ghost' - would have fit Snorunt's alternative evolution Froslass a whole lot better. Froslass, evolved from a female Snorunt by use of a Dawn Stone, is the franchise's only ice/ghost type, and for a good reason, too: it is based on the yuki-onna, a ghostly woman in Japanese folklore often associated with winter and snowstorms. I already mentioned these spirits in Jynx's review, but as Froslass is a ghost type and the yuki-onna is supposed to represent a female ghost (which is also the reason why only female Snorunt can evolve into Froslass), it makes much more sense that the latter was the inspiration for Froslass rather than Jynx. However, none of the legends about the yuki-onna are as lurid as Froslass's Pokédex descriptions. It's all very interesting to read that it has cold breath (so does Glalie), that it has a hollow body (so does Dusclops) and that legends in snowy regions say that a woman who got lost on an icy mountains was reborn as a Froslass, but let's take a look at the entries it got in Pokémon Sun and Moon recently.

Pokédex entry Sun:
"When it finds humans or Pokémon it likes, it freezes them and takes them to its chilly den, where they become decorations."

Pokémon entry Moon:
"The soul of a woman lost on a snowy mountain possessed an icicle, becoming this Pokémon. The food it most relishes is the souls of men."

Why, excuse the living hell out of me? So, in the hypothetical case that I'm roaming about in the snowy mountains and just by happenstance encounter a Froslass, I'm pretty much screwed? I don't know about you guys, but I am 100% certain I'm never going on a skiing holiday.

A Froslass image with yuki-onna elements in the forefront. The
red band it's wearing is reminiscent of an obi, a sash worn with a
kimono or with the uniforms used by practitioners of Japanese
martial arts.

Trainers should be cautious when being around this thing, but on the off chance you decide to use Froslass in competitive play, you'll have yourself a speedy special att... wait, what? Its special attack is only 80? Damn, I always thought it had amazing speed and special attack and terribe everything else, but I guess I was wrong. Well, it's no use making it defensive, because it won't live a hit, so be clever and go with the specially offensive approach anyway. I was going to recommend a Timid nature, but I guess it can use the special power boost from a Modest nature. And a Life Orb, for that matter, which will make moves like Ice Beam, Shadow Ball, Signal Beam, Psychic and Thunderbolt hit foes just this little bit harder. As it's fast to begin with, a utility moveset might not be bad; Taunt is to prevent foes from setting up with stat-boosting moves, Spikes lays a layer of - you guessed it - spikes that hurt incoming Pokémon on the opponent's side of the battlefield, Will-O-Wisp burns foes and thus inflicts residual damage every turn, and a fast Destiny Bond might be beneficial if a certain Pokémon proves to be an issue. Of course, a utility moveset calls for a Focus Sash rather than a Life Orb. The only thing left to discuss is its ability, but it has only two. Its regular ability Snow Cloak boosts Froslass's evasion when it's hailing, which it almost never does, so ignore that one. Its hidden ability is Cursed Body and has the power to disable certain moves when Froslass is hit by one, which could definitely come in handy.

It's pretty hot in the Netherlands right now, but this image
spontaneously gives me the chills.

So, we've discussed Froslass, but what about Glalie? Well... my advice is to not use it unless you go Mega. Regular Glalie is just not good enough and can't get anything done, so you'd be wise to Mega-evolve it. Mega Glalie has Refrigerate for its ability, which turns all normal-type moves into ice-type moves, effectively making them STAB. This means a decent 102-power phsyical-based ice-type move in Return, as well as an ice-type Explosion. It's what most people use Mega Glalie for, anyway: doing some moderate damage to opponents with moves like Return and Earthquake, only to cause a gigantic and unexpected climax and blow it up for a whopping 250 power. That's one almost guaranteed OHKO right there, so Explosion is perfect to remove a specific threat from the game. Sure, you'll lose your own Mega Glalie in the process, but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices in order to advance the match. If blowing Mega Glalie up is unfavorable, you could also run a moveset consisting of Return, Ice Shard, Earthquake and Iron Head, of course supported by a Jolly or Adamant nature - or a Naive, Hasty, Lonely or Naughty nature if you decide to use Freeze-Dry instead of Iron Head in order for you to super-effectively hit water types as well. Nonetheless, Mega Glalie is pretty much one-dimensional and therefore very predictable.

I wish I could like these Pokémon more than I currently do, but Mega Glalie is a little too weird - even to my taste - and Froslass is unimpressive when it's not about its flavor. That doesn't stop me from giving both Pokémon a good rating - the same one at that, too - and to be quite honest, 4 stars are nothing to sneeze at. I don't know exactly what it is that could make them sneeze, because I doubt these Pokémon can catch a cold, but that is not the point.

P.S.: What's with Froslass's classification as the 'Snow Land Pokémon'? I really don't understand the 'land' part...?

Rating: 4/5

#351: Castform

You know, Game Freak, even I could've come up with a better Pokémon focusing around the weather mechanics in the game than this pair of balls/boobs/buns (cross out wherever inapplicable).

The split personalities of Castform. Maybe it's better for it to go
see a psychiatrist. 

Based on the teru teru bōzu, a small Japanese charm doll made of white paper or cloth used to wish for good weather, Castform is an artificial Pokémon made by Hoenn's Weather Institute. Its body is made of cells exactly like those of water molecules, causing its structure to be altered by temperature and humidity in order to protect its tiny body. This gives it the power to change forms based on the weather on the battlefield: Sunny Forme in sunny weather, Rainy Forme in rainy weather and Snowy Forme when it's hailing (but hail is not snow, goddammit). Its former signature move Weather Ball is a 50-power normal-type move that doubles in power with a weather condition up, changes type depending on whether it's raining or hailing or whether the sun is shining, and provides STAB for whatever form Castform is in at the moment. This excludes a sandstorm, which does change Weather Ball's type into rock and doubles its power to 100, but doesn't cause a molecular change in Castform and therefore provides mere type coverage rather than STAB. Unfortunately, there is nothing Castform can do with this whole weather thing, as it has to set up a weather condition first, which its mediocre stats won't allow it to do. Base 70 stats across the board are nothing to write home about, as it can't take a hit very well and won't be able to hit very hard in return. A Pokémon based on the English saying "rain, hail, or shine" (whatever the weather; or, more figuratively, whatever the situation) is an interesting concept, but GameFreak could have made Castform a little bit better, at least; for example, increase the base stats of its weather forms to between 85 and 90 each, letting Castform end up with a base stat total of between 510 and 540 rather than 420. As the situation is right now, however, I can't even come up with a good competitive set for it. It's not even that good to use in-game, so...

Castform and its three weather forms lined up. 

For now, there are hardly any redeeming qualities to be found in Castform. I mean, I like how it looks like a giant H2O molecule in some way, and that its name is a play on 'forecast', but that's pretty much everything. I mean, its different forms didn't even get separate Pokédex entries until Pokémon Sun and Moon, and even then I didn't know why the hell they had to include Castform in the Alola Pokédex.

Sunny Forme
Pokédex entry Sun:
"This is the form Castform takes on the brightest of days. Its skin is unexpectedly hot to the touch, so approach with care."

Pokédex entry Moon:
"This is Castform’s form when basking in fair weather. Its body is warm and toasty."

Rainy Forme
Pokédex entry Sun:
"This is the form Castform takes when soaked with rain. When its body is compressed, water will seep out as if from a sponge."

Pokédex entry Moon:
"This is Castform's form during a downpour of rain. Its body retains moisture and gets slippery."

Snowy Forme
Pokédex entry Sun:
"This is the form Castform takes when covered in snow. Its body becomes an ice-like material, with a temperature near 23 degrees Fahrenheit."

Pokédex entry Moon:
"This is Castform’s form when caught in a hailstorm. Its cold skin is as smooth as ice."

Adding an additional form to Castform that is based on the sandstorm weather
condition may not be a bad idea. Then again, it would be yet another gimmicky
form of the same goddamn Pokémon with the same goddamn base stats. Also,
this fan-made 'Rocky Forme' looks a hell of a lot like Baltoy in a way. 

So, nothing special, right? For a Pokémon based on the sun, it's to be expected its skin feels so hot. For a Pokémon based on rain, it's not a surprise it's so moisty and spongy. For a Pokémon based on a snow cloud, it's logical its temperature is near 23 degrees. All three forms are outclassed by other Pokémon focusing around heat, moisture and cold, flavor-wise as well as stat-wise, and all look a little too obviously like weather references in the first place, making them look dumb. I also think they're mildly inappropriate - especially the regular form, which looks like a pair of testicles, breasts or buttocks with a giant head on top; in the latter case even a reversed head, mind you - but maybe that's just my perverse, adult mind.

Balls, why is Castform so bad?

Rating: 1.5/5

#225: Delibird

It would be a wise decision not to accept that present, even though
it's alluring. And no, that is not just a bag behind Delibird; that is
its tail.

Santa Claus, my asscrack.

That red-and-white color scheme looks nice and all, and it may give Delibird the appearance of Santa, but Santa doesn't give presents that explode in your fucking face. And Delibird tends to do that. Like, a lot. However, the bag-like tail contains not only exploding presents, but also food it collects for its chicks. It has been known to share its food with humans stranded in icy mountains, and there was once a famous explorer who managed to reach the peak Mount Everest and managed to survive because a Delibird shared its food with him. It's curious Delibird likes to live on mountain cliffs, because penguins are usually native to the southern hemisphere and live in the southern parts of South America and southern Africa and along the coast of Antarctica - they don't even live in the Arctic area. They usually stay in the vicinity of the ocean, and there is a good chance they'll never even get to come near a goddamn mountain in their 20-year lifespans. The 2007 documentary Encounters at the End of the World even contains footage of a lone mentally deranged and disorientated penguin waddling toward the mountains, heading to a certain death. As far as anyone can tell, the penguin is aware of what it's doing, so basically that means it's committing suicide. Harsh.

The feels, man. The feels.

You gotta love this art, only for the fact that Delibird is riding an
Arcanine. That's awesome. 

So, one could wonder why Game Freak made the mountains Delibird's habitat, while penguins apparently can't thrive in mountainous areas. However, they've made some questionable choices in the past, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. What matters is that Delibird - a rockhopper penguin in aesthetics, but a puffin (a penguin-like bird capable of flight) in characteristics - is a terrible Pokémon: it has a base stat total of 330 and its base 75 speed is the best stat it has. And prepare for some more horseshit, because Delibird doesn't even evolve, so you can't get any better; what you see is what you get. Unless you're clever enough to steer away from Delibird and choose another hazard lead, that is. I mean, the combination of Spikes, Rapid Spin and Destiny Bond seems like an interesting tactic, but Delibird's defenses are so ass that it's not even funny anymore. If Delibird had packed a punch, that tactic would have been worth it, but right now Delibird isn't even good enough to use in-game. And I know what I'm talking about, because I was forced to use it in a Pokémon X Wonderlocke once; what's more, it was the first Pokémon I obtained through Wonder Trade and - surprise! - it was the very first Pokémon to fall.

I love Delibird's design, but I hate how useless it is in battles, even despite its good physical movepool - including Fly. It even has two different abilities that do the exact same thing; both Insomnia and Vital Spirit prevent it from falling asleep in battles, and the only difference between the two is that the latter has an overworld effect. It's not even a significant one at that. I would like to give Delibird a perfect rating because I love its design so much, but I just can't. I have to subtract at least half a star because it's just a mere gimmick Pokémon, which means my final rating is a 4.5. Not bad either, right?

Rating: 4.5/5

#220 - #221, #473: Swinub, Piloswine & Mamoswine

Swinub in a grassy plain, not their usual habitat by any means.

Swinub is one of those Pokémon that has gained significance due to its final evolution, Mamoswine, which was introduced two generations later than Swinub and Piloswine. Of course, Swinub itself is nothing special. With a base stat total of 250 it is the weakest ice-type Pokémon in existence, and it stays that way until it evolves into Piloswine at level 33 and finally becomes useful. While it is obviously a piglet - a wild boar piglet at that, considering the stripes on its back - it also has some traits of Peruvian guinea pigs, which have long, shaggy hair that even covers their little legs, as is the case with Swinub. Swinub likes a particular type of mushroom that grows under dead grass, and it searches for them by smell, often discovering hot springs buried under ice in the process. It reminds me of the pigs that were often used for locating and extracting a rare and very expensive type of mushroom delicacy called the truffle, although the use of these so-called truffle hogs has been prohibited since 1985. It seemed that the pigs had an extremely strong appetite for these truffles, which caused damage to the truffles' mycelium (the vegetative part of a fungus) during the excavation and dropped the production rate of the area for some years. These days, well-trained dogs are used to find the delicacy.

A Mamoswine - the big fella in the back - with its family, a
Piloswine (left) and two Swinub (right).

Swinub is like that, too: if it smells an enticing fragrance, it dashes toward it and won't stop until it finds the source. Piloswine is a bit more 'sophisticated', so to speak, as it uses its sensitive nose and ears to check its surroundings instead. It does that because its eyes are usually covered up by tufts of fur and is unable to see properly. Its tusks look insignificant, but they are made of ice, thicken when it snows and have occasionally been proved to be lethal. While Piloswine doesn't have visible hooves, not even when its legs can be seen in full glory, its Pokédex entries talk of hooves that ensure even footing on icy ground, which indicates that Piloswine may be based on a yak. But that idea is thrown out of the window when it evolves into Mamoswine by leveling it up while it knows Ancient Power. Mamoswine, as its name suggests, is based on a mammoth or mastodon - both belong to different genera; they are classified as mammuthus and mammut, respectively. In any case, both are proboscideans that are distant ancestors of the elephant. Mamoswine, however, has a pig's snout instead of a proboscis (also called a 'trunk'), although such hybrid Pokémon are not uncommon. It's interesting to know that even in the Pokémon world there were ice ages, and Mamoswine allegedly disappeared after the last one, until one was dug up from soil/ice (Platinum and HeartGold seem to disagree on which one it is) dating back 10,000 years. To much amazement, it woke up, having survived harsh cold and severe hunger for so many years. It's a bit illogical to say Mamoswine's population thinned 10,000 years in the past while Swinub and Piloswine kept 'existing', but whatever. This is Game Freak we're talking about after all, so what else should I have expected?

Dawn's party, including a Mamoswine. 

Well, what you can expect is a competitive monster. Mamoswine has some beefy HP and a mammoth attack stat - sorry, I had to - with which it can endure quite some hits and hit back as hard as it possibly can. A Life Orb set is obvious here, with a Jolly nature for some more speed, which it needs, or an Adamant nature to boost its attack even further. Its hidden ability Thick Fat is the best option here, as it halves damage from incoming ice- and fire-type moves, the latter of which Mamoswine usually has a weakness to. Because it's quite bulky, it can set up Stealth Rock and proceed annihilating things with moves like Icicle Crash, Earthquake, Superpower, Iron Head, Knock Off, Stone Edge and Rock Slide, while Ice Shard is a rather weak move that does have increased priority. It depends on what you need. Unfortunately, it has no means of boosting its attack apart from a Choice Band, but that item limits it to using one move only.

A Mamoswine set is kind of straightforward, as you - and your opponent, for that matter - know exactly what's gonna come. Evolving Piloswine is tedious, as you have to wait until you get to a Move Relearner in order for them to teach your Piloswine Ancient Power, but at least the result is satisfying. Design-wise I'm not Mamoswine's biggest fan, but at least Game Freak's attempt to create a worthy evolution for Piloswine has paid off. I'll give it a 4-star rating, but only just.

Rating: 4/5

#215, #461: Sneasel & Weavile

Sneasel fan art.

Sneasel was supposed to be one of those Pokémon you should start using in Pokémon Gold and Silver, with very decent attack and excellent speed, but dark and ice (Sneasel's types) were still special in Gen. II and III and Sneasel has an abysmal special attack stat, which kept it from being useful at all. It was mainly a Pokédex filler, until Gen. IV came around and the physical/special split occurred. And to crown it all, Sneasel actually got an evolution: Weavile. And it's not even a considerably good one flavor-wise. Sneasel, a sneaky little motherfucker based on weasels and possibly cats, is notoriously vicious and is known for stealing eggs from unattended Pidgey nests (probably also from nests of other bird Pokémon) in pairs: while one Sneasel drives the parents from their nest, the other steals the eggs. They then feast on them. It's common knowledge that weasels - especially stoats - occasionally steal eggs from bird nests and eat them, so I'm not surprised. Weavile is even less interesting in that regard: they are more devious than Sneasel (no shit), hunt in packs and leave mysterious markings on trees or ice in order to signal companions. However, there is one thing that's interesting about Sneasel en Weavile: both are obviously based on weasels, but in Japanese mythology there is actually a weasel demon with sickles on its front legs called the kamaitachi. It uses the sickles to cut people, but even though that causes a sharp wound, there is no pain. In many regions of the country it's often associated with ice and snow, which is a nod to Sneasel and Weavile's ice typing.

Weavile about to throw a Shadow Ball, from the looks of it. Not that it's going to
inflict a lot of damage, because Weavile's special attack is as dreadful as Sneasel's.

They may also be based on the Western and Japanese superstition when it comes to black cats and weasels, respectively, both notorious for being sneaky and associated with evil and misfortune. Although the superstition about black cats derives from Western, medieval witchcraft, Sneasel and Weavile don't really look like black cats and they sure as hell don't have magical powers (well, Pokémon are magical creatures an sich, but you probably know what the fuck I'm talking about). Weavile's appearance, however, seems to be based on old Egyptian fashion: it wears a headdress, a collar, earrings and 'eyeshadow' similar to Egyptian deities, especially Bastet or Sekhmet, who are often depicted with a cat's head - the former is even considered the god of cats. In addition, both were famous for using their claws in warfare.

TCG art of Weavile.

And Weavile uses its claws in warfare, alright. It's fast and strong, but it's also very fragile due to its mediocre HP and defenses. In other words, your opponent knows exactly what to expect from this thing: a fast-as-hell (because Jolly) wallbreaker or revenge killer with a somewhat predictable moveset: Fake Out, Knock Off, Icicle Crash and Ice Shard, often backed up by a Life Orb to strengthen all of its attacking moves. However, since Weavile is so frail, it could also hang onto a Focus Sash, which leaves it at 1 HP when attacked at full health. Also, that moveset I just mentioned isn't exactly the most reliable one. To start with, Fake Out has only 50 base power and isn't even powered up by STAB, so it could easily be omitted, even though it's a decent way to cause damage and make the foe flinch upon the switch-in of Weavile. Because there are many heavy Pokémon in the OU tier Weavile resides in, Low Kick is an option, as it does more damage to heavier foes like Heatran, Tyranitar and Ferrothorn. Poison Jab and Iron Tail work on fairy types, which Weavile is weak to, and Ice Punch could replace Icicle Crash because its accuracy is higher - although many people prefer the higher base power of Icicle Crash. And while Ice Shard is perfect to finish opponents because it has increased priority, it's a rather weak move that should be reserved for a dark-type move that can be used once Knock Off becomes redundant, like Night Slash (which has a higher chance for a critical hit, too).

I hate Sneasel and Weavile's flavor, because Game Freak are once more stating the obvious when it is clearly present in their designs: one look at these Pokémon and you'll know they're up to no fucking good. It's a shame, because Weavile's design is really cool and its typing makes it a great offensive threat in the competitive metagame. Game Freak could have done a better job with this Pokémon, but I quite like it and it doesn't deserve a bad rating by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#144: Articuno

So now it's time to review the first ever legendary Pokémon in the National Pokédex, and also the first of the three legendary birds of Kanto: Articuno. In fact, its name already indicates that it's the first in the series of legendary birds, as uno, dos and tres (Spanish for 'one', 'two' and 'three', respectively) are clearly evident in the names of Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres. So without further ado, let's get into this.

Sugimori art of Articuno.

Articuno is one of the few existing ice-type Pokémon in Kanto, and it is inarguably the best. Dewgong isn't that good, Lapras is more of a tank than a powerhouse, and Jynx and Cloyster are as frail as ice crystals; the former on the physical side of the spectrum and the latter on the special side. That's not to say they're not usable (I like Lapras and Cloyster a lot), on the contrary, but I'm just putting it out there. Articuno, on the other hand, is a pretty well-rounded Pokémon with a base stat total of 580! It's the highest base stat total we've seen so far, even though it's by far not the highest in the games. Its well-roundedness, with a slight preference towards its defenses, makes it extremely versatile in battles, although not too much by any means. You see, Articuno lacks move diversity, and the only viable special-based moves it can use are Ice Beam, Freeze-Dry, Hurricane and Signal Beam. It doesn't even get STAB from Signal Beam, so I wouldn't recommend using it at all, unless you feel you really have to. You're gonna have to fall back on some very useful status moves that Articuno can make perfect use of due to its bulk. Don't worry though, I'm going to offer you some sets that will definitely help you out. Hopefully.

Badass Articuno wallpaper.

First off, Articuno's natural bulk allows you to run a Timid or Modest nature. Both lower its attack, but Timid boosts its speed stat, which it desperately needs, while Modest boosts its special attack. A Timid nature is perfect if you want a tanky Articuno that can hit some things at moderate speed. You'll probably ask yourselves whether that is at all possible, but the answer is yes: invest in Articuno's speed and special attack, let it hold the Leftovers, teach it Substitute and Roost as well as Hurricane and either Ice Beam or Freeze-Dry, and you'll be set. Freeze-Dry is weaker than Ice Beam, but it hits water types super-effectively, so it's your call. As for a Modest set, you'll be better off with a Life Orb and some of its STAB moves in combination with Agility. This move basically doubles its speed, so it'll outspeed quite some Pokémon after setting up just one. Going all-out offensive with Choice Specs isn't a bad idea either, because it lets Articuno hit like a truck but limits it to using only one move. Agility will be out of the question if you decide to go for the Choice Specs, but I guess you gotta have to make a choice here. You could also consider giving it an Assault Vest instead, which limits it to using only damaging moves but increases its already crazy special defense by 50%. I don't really recommend it, but I guess it's not a terrible choice, considering the fact that I'm mentioning it at all.

We're so lucky to have amazing drawers in 'our' fan base,
otherwise we wouldn't have such awesome fan art such as this.

Enough about Articuno's battling capabilities; what is this thing all about? Well, it's a giant arctic bird that likes cold, isolated locations such as mountain peaks and even appears before doomed travelers lost in icy regions. The anime even shows that Articuno aids lost travelers and guides them home. It is believed to create snow (blizzards, even) out of water vapor in the air by just flapping its seemingly translucent wings, that are said to be made of ice. There's no doubt the designers at Game Freak meant for Articuno to be gentle and gracious, at which I can honestly say they didn't fail. Its benevolent nature is probably referring to the Iranian legend of the Simurgh, a mythical flying creature often depicted as a gigantic bird, which developed further as the rukh (Persian) or rukk (Arabic) in other Arabic-speaking countries. Well, its etymology is somewhat uncertain and therefore debatable, but it seems the English-speaking countries refer to this humongous bird as the roc. (Fun fact: there is actually an enclosed rollercoaster ride in the Dutch amusement park Efteling called Vogel Rok, which translates to "Bird Roc" and is based on the adventures of Sinbad and the roc bird from the 1001 Arabian Nights.) Appearance-wise, however, Articuno shares traits with ordinary birds such as the quetzal and the white-throated magpie-jay. Hey, I'm not making these names up, okay?

Is this what Articuno would look like in real life?

Look at Articuno. So elegant, so graceful, so magnificent. It has always been my favorite of the three legendary birds, and I don't think that's ever gonna change. Quite honestly, I often found myself appalled by Zapdos's appearance when I was still a kid, and I didn't like Moltres either. I'm 25 years old now, however, and I've learned to think rationally (except in the case of Lickilicky - I despise Lickilicky), so I have no problems with either of them now. Still, Articuno holds a special place in my heart, if only for being the one bird I always caught (and used!) in Red, Blue, Yellow and their remakes before taking on the Indigo League.

Rating: 5/5