#54 - #55: Psyduck & Golduck

Fan art of Psyduck. It's probably having a headache.

Psyduck looks dumb.

There, I said it. I'm sorry to all you Psyduck lovers out there, but I'm not really all that fond of the thing. I totally felt for Misty every fucking time her dim-witted Psyduck, which she accidentally caught, broke out of its goddamn Poké Ball without having been asked to. This source of annoyance, to Misty as well as to the viewers, might have been dim-witted and oblivious, but it has been shown to use psychic powers that far exceed its normal abilities when its headaches get bad enough. No surprises there, because that is what Psyduck is all about: being dumb and oblivious, being plagued by chronic headaches, trying to calm its headaches by standing immobile (hence the Psyduck on Sinnoh's Route 10 in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, who won't move until Cynthia gives you a Secret Potion), and releasing crazy-strong psychic powers when its headaches become too severe. It is even unable to recall such episodes. The psychic thing, along with Psyduck's ability to learn several strong psychic-type moves, makes me believe that it should have had the psychic type as its secondary typing to begin with, but I guess that is absolutely none of my business.

Old TCG art of Golduck in action.

I feel like Golduck is, however, which is mainly because I love it, whereas I really don't care for Psyduck in the slightest. You'd think Golduck gains the psychic type as its secondary typing upon evolving from Psyduck, but that couldn't be any further from the truth: Golduck is a pure water type, just like its pre-evolution. Even so, it inherits Psyduck's psychic powers (although not its headaches), only with the ability to control them through the gem on its head, which glows when it is using its psychic powers and occasionally when it swims at full speed. And that is pretty fast, considering the fact that it outswims the most athletic humans because of its webbed hands and feet. It isn't even bothered by rough seas and will sometimes rescue people from shipwrecks. That is probably why it is often mistaken for a Japanese monster called the kappa, which is exactly what Golduck is based on (and quite frankly, I like that a lot). In short, Golduck is a hundred times more bad-ass than its pre-evolution.

Official art of Golduck.

But how good is it in the video games? Well, Golduck's flavor is perceptible through its ability to learn quite some psychic-type moves (such as Psychic, Psyshock, Confusion, and even egg moves like Psybeam, Synchronoise and Future Sight) and its hidden ability Swift Swim, which doubles its speed when it's raining in battles. It is therefore not uncommon to use a 'rain' Golduck in the NU tier, with a moveset consisting of Rain Dance, a STAB move like Scald or Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Psychic. Maybe you can omit either Psychic or Ice Beam and give it Calm Mind, to boost its more-than-decent special attack and fairly decent special defense and use it as a sweeper. For in-game purposes, you might want to go for an all-offensive Golduck with a moveset consisting of Surf, Ice Beam, Psychic and Focus Blast. Signal Beam is an option, but it's a Move Tutor move and can't be obtained until after you've finished the Delta Episode. As you can see, its movepool is just diverse (and strong) enough to consist of moves of four different types. If only Psychic was a STAB move... right?

Some awesome modified art of Golduck.

Forget about it, Game Freak will never decide to bless Golduck with that ever-useful psyhic type. Nonetheless, Golduck has always been one of my favorite Gen. I Pokémon: its streamlined design is simplistic but effective, and it is a strong Pokémon that's somewhat capable of taking a hit from another Pokémon (both its HP and defenses are halfway competent, resulting is some decent bulk). Overall, Golduck is a very interesting Pokémon that totally lives up to the characteristics it is known for. I can't help but give it a perfect rating, which is the second one in a row. Will Primeape be able to add a third?

Rating: 5/5

#52 - #53: Meowth & Persian

A cute little Meowth playing with its Amulet Coins. This
is not surprising, though, because it is attracted to round
and shiny objects, picking up anything that sparkles when
wandering the streets, including loose change. Its eyes then
glitter and the coin on its forehead will shine brightly.

Awww, look at that adorable little kitty! Who's a cutie? Who's a cutie? Yes, it's you! Coochie coochie coo!

Ahem... You saw nothing.

Seriously though, while I am not fond of dogs at all, I have an inexplicable affection for cats. Some dogs are graceless, clumsy and ugly monsters (pitbulls, bulldogs and chihuahuas, for example, the latter of which is a rat rather than a dog; I can't even call that a proper dog species) that are way too energetic and playful around humans, which I can't stand. Cats, on the other hand, are beautiful, graceful, fluffy and calm creatures that don't follow you around all day trying to get your attention, which I like. The only downside of having three cats, however, are the dead mice and birds they bring home every night, but I'll take those dead bodies anytime over a dog that barks constantly while you are attempting to get your necessary eight hours of sleep. My love for cats has carried over to Pokémon, as quite some cat Pokémon have been introduced throughout the years, the latest additions being Pyroar and Meowstic. I even did an ORAS playthrough with only feline Pokémon (Luxray, Persian, Purugly, Liepard, Meowstic and Pyroar; I decided not to go with Delcatty because that Pokémon is terrible). Yeah, my love for cats has gone that far...

Official art of Persian by Ken Sugimori.

So it is probably not a surprise that I'm so head over heels in love with Meowth and, specifically, Persian. I have not always loved Persian so much though, mainly because I came to love cats only eight years ago, when my mother got us a cat in the first place. My newfound love for Persian, however, only hatched some three months ago, when playing that ORAS cat playthrough. I can tell you it was a true MVP, all because of one move: Nasty Plot. Yes, I know that Persian's base attack stat is 70 and its special attack is 65, but it is Nasty Plot what makes Persian so good, as this move raises a Pokémon's special attack by two stages. Hone Claws only raises Persian's attack by one stage, as well as its accuracy, but it doesn't need the accuracy boost because all special moves it can learn have perfect accuracy, anyway. And it learns quite some special moves, whether or not they'll have to be taught to Persian through a Move Tutor. Nasty Plot and either Hyper Voice or Swift are must-haves, while Icy Wind and Water Pulse are there for coverage (and will be stronger if you use a Persian that has the ability Technician, which boosts moves that have 60 base power or less; Swift also gets that boost). It learns Power Gem by level-up and Thunderbolt, Thunder, Shadow Ball and Dark Pulse by use of TMs. A Hypnosis/Dream Eater combo is an option as well, but it'll take up Persian's remaining two moveslots, which might not be what you desire. Hypnosis has terrible accuracy, anyway. The coverage depends on what moves the other Pokémon in your party have; my own Persian had Power Gem and Water Pulse.

Persian is, without a doubt, an amazing Pokémon, but it is probably best known for being mob boss Giovanni's pet. That's no mean feat, because Persian is extremely difficult to raise due to its temper and barbaric personality; it will scratch anyone with little or no provocation, including its Trainer, and it has been seen ripping its prey apart for no discernible reason. How's that for a pet cat? However, much more gentle and well-known (probably the most well-known Pokémon aside from Pikachu) is Team Rocket's Meowth, who has been Jessie and James' sidekick since the very first season of the anime series. He was introduced in the second episode alongside Jessie and James, in which he could already talk.

Meowth in the anime series, as one third of Team Rocket.

Later on in the series, we get to know Meowth's history. He starts off as a young Meowth in a camp, waking up all alone in the rain and ultimately being strung up from a tree as a punishment by a baseball coach for knocking over a basket with baseballs because he was trying to eat the basket. After seeing a film depicting a Meowth being given delicious foods, Meowth decided to go to Hollywood, but upon arriving he was merely perceived as a stray Pokémon. After joining a gang with Meowth led by a Persian for a long time, annoying the humans in town by stealing food and causing trouble, Meowth meets and falls in love with a female Meowth called Meowzie. She rejected him, saying he was poor and preferred humans, but when Meowth learns to walk and talk like a human, she calls him a freak.

Meowth hanging on to James, probably busted while executing one of Team
Rocket's 'evil' plans. 

Heartbroken, he joins Team Rocket, inspired by the very first word he learns: 'rocket'. That is how we know Meowth nowadays: as one third of an evil team trying to steal other people's Pokémon, but failing miserably over and over again. Until Unova, that is, when Team Rocket developed a more serious attitude, acting more like professional criminals. This even got out of hand when Ash found Meowth injured. Meowth explained that he screwed up one of Team Rocket's big schemes in Nimbasa City and decided to travel with Ash and his friends onwards, only to get busted later on, when it was revealed that Meowth's dismissal was fake and part of Team Rocket's big plan to steal all the Pokémon from Nimbasa City's Pokémon Center. I personally love this little piece of history of Meowth's life and the development of his character, which we almost never get to see in the Pokémon anime. It adds a little depth to an otherwise bland series, in my opinion.

I love Meowth and Persian. The legend of the maneki-neko ('lucky cat' or 'beckoning cat'), a common Japanese ceramic or plastic figurine of a cat holding a koban, a kind of ancient Japanese coin like the one on Meowth's head, is perfectly incorporated in Meowth's design and flavor. I guess it is just a matter of personal taste and experiences, though; and even though I have to admit Meowth and Persian are not strong Pokémon at all, I love them for their designs, flavor, the roles they play in the animated series, and because they're freaking cats, goddammit!

So, uhm... did I mention that I love cats already?

Rating: 5/5

#50 - #51: Diglett & Dugtrio

"Diglett-dig, Diglett-dig!"

"Trio! Trio! Trio!"

Fan art of Diglett, in which the thing actually looks like a mole.

Yeah, that's right. You just read that in Diglett and Dugtrio's voices. Just admit it already.

Sorry, I just had to do that, ha ha ha.

Anyway.

If I had to mention the most unimaginative Pokémon to date, I would say that'd be Diglett and Dugtrio. I absolutely don't like these Pokémon. I've never liked them, in fact, and there is probably nothing that can change that, except for maybe a Mega evolution. And even then I doubt I'll like Dugtrio all that much. Yes, I know that there are other Pokémon out there that are composed of three or more specimens of their pre-evolutions, but I dare say that Dugtrio is by far the most unimaginative. It looks like three Diglett that have gathered together rather than an actual evolution. Meh. Well, it is actually a Diglett triplet that emerged from one body, so... no, still meh. Even their Pokédex entries aren't interesting. Add the fact that both Pokémon get Arena Trap, an ability that makes your Pokémon unable to run away from it or switch out, and you get an irritating Pokémon.

This is a plausible theory of how Diglett and Dugtrio's lower bodies,
which they hide underground, might look like.

However, there is one particular thing that really bothers me about Diglett and Dugtrio. You see, the Pokédex classifies them as 'Mole Pokémon', and I won't even contradict them in that, because everything points towards that direction: they're ground types, their heads are sticking out of the ground, and they learn moves that show that they clearly have claws, such as Scratch, Slash, Night Slash, Hone Claws, Shadow Claw, and even Sucker Punch. This is what bothers me: their claws and feet are never shown! In one of the Mystery Dungeon games (a side-series game), a Diglett mentions that it has feet, but the fact that there is nothing to see of them bothers me so fucking much! I know it's all part of how Game Freak want to characterize these Pokémon, and I also know they might be based on the moles used in those dumb Whac-A-Mole arcade games, but it's just stupid. I'm not against a little mystery, but of all Pokémon to add some mystery to, Diglett and Dugtrio are most probably the most insignificant. Also, the Internet has been bombarded with the dumbest theories as well: Diglett might be just a tiny part of an enormous nightmare monster, Diglett might be a person whose head is sticking out of the ground, or (and this one is the absolute best!) Diglett might actually even be the penis of some bigger creature hiding undergound. I can't even...

TCG art of Dugtrio.

Even worse: Dugtrio is not a good Pokémon at all. Its speed stat is great and its attack stat is decent, but its defenses are mediocre. It's not that its defenses save the day, though, because these are even made worse by its HP stat, which is absolutely GARBAGE. I guess Dugtrio wouldn't even be such a great Pokémon to use in-game, but there are always people who would like to make use of it, so let's see what this thing can actually do. It learns Earthquake, for starters, but that is a move that almost every ground-type Pokémon can learn, and even a lot of non-ground types for that matter. Rock Slide and either Shadow Claw (a ghost-type move) or Night Slash (a dark-type move), which both have the same type coverage, the same power and the chance to crit, are viable options, as well as Hone Claws. That move should definitely be in its moveset, because it raises Dugtrio's attack stat and accuracy (handy for Rock Slide) and because Aerial Ace is just too mediocre for it to use. Competitively, it is no good either, but an all-out offensive Dugtrio with the ability Arena Trap (which does exactly what the name suggests: it prevents the opponent from switching out), holding a Choice Band or Life Orb, will have to do, whereas a Focus Sash/Reversal combo might do the trick as well.

Dugtrio isn't one of my absolute least favorite Pokémon, but this thing comes damn near close. Luckily for Dugtrio, I don't obsessively hate it like a certain Gen. IV Pokémon (let's say I strongly dislike it), which saves it from getting the lowest rating possible.

Rating: 1.5/5

#48 - #49: Venonat & Venomoth

Official art of Venonat.

I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'd have to write about Venonat. It's just a bad Pokémon to use, and ultimately it's a forgettable Pokémon as well. It's not that I don't like Venonat, it's just that there's nothing specific about it that I'd want to write about, aside from maybe its radar eyes that allow it to see in the dark. In my opinion, it doesn't add anything to the franchise other than being Venomoth's pre-evolution. That is not necessarily a bad thing, though; the game should not allow you to use some Pokémon until they are actually fully evolved. Venomoth is not one of them, however, but I'll get to that later on. The thing is that Venomoth has become a kind of a legend lately, and I think that this Pokémon won't easily be forgotten. That has everything to do with the part it played in 'Twitch Plays Pokémon'. I told you almost everything in Pidgeot's entrance, though, so I'm not going to repeat all of that right now. All I can say that AATTVVV (also commonly referred to as ATV or All-Terrain Venomoth), as the Venomoth was called because everybody was pressing multiple buttons at the same fucking time, has played a major part in defeating Lance, the fourth Elite 4 member.

Fan art of All-Terrain Venomoth, who slayed Lance's dragon all by itself during the
disaster that is called 'Twitch Plays Pokémon'.  

You see, when ATV was facing Lance's Dragonite, it managed to survive by using Poison Powder on the thing, which slowly wittled away Dragonite's health while it only used Barrier and Agility in return. Needless to say that the poison damage did it in, and therefore, ATV is commonly called 'The Dragon Slayer'. It was one of the most memorable moments during the playthrough of Pokémon Red on streaming service Twitch, but unfortunately, ATV went down during the battle against Champion Blue and the entire team had to defeat the Elite 4 and Blue from scratch. That didn't affect the 'legendary' status Venomoth received after the playthrough was done, by the way, because from now on, many people will think of All-Terrain Venomoth when you mention this Pokémon.

All hail to Ken Sugimori for providing us with this beautiful
official Venomoth art. 

Well, let's be honest... That is not exactly a surprise, as Venomoth isn't really a good Pokémon to use in the competitive scene. For in-game purposes, on the other hand, it would be quite a decent Pokémon to use. Its attack and defense are terrible and should be ignored, but it has a reasonable special defense stat and even better special attack and speed stats. With those, you can hit fast and relatively hard, and with good moves at that, too. Bug Buzz and Sludge Bomb are must-haves, while the other slots should be filled in by Quiver Dance (which raises its special attack, special defense and speed by one stage each) and either Psychic or Energy Ball, depending on the Pokémon you already have in your team. You can even omit Quiver Dance and go for both offensive moves; Venomoth's stats are decent enough to pull that off. There might be people who might make good use of this Pokémon competitively, but I think it would go down very fast. No matter how you look at it, Venomoth is still quite a frail Pokémon, after all...

Ultimately, Venomoth is a likeable Pokémon, but no matter its legendary status, it is still only a decent Pokémon. There is nothing about it that really makes it stand out to other Pokémon. That is to say, if you don't count the stupid theory that it should have been Metapod's evolution while Butterfree should have been Venonat's, because the latter two share so many similarities; from the large bug-like eyes to the little hands and their antennae. Even so, 3.5 is not a bad rating at all!

Rating: 3.5/5

#46 - #47: Paras & Parasect

Newer official art of Paras.

Have you actually ever run into a Paras with pink mushrooms on its back and gotten totally ecstatic because you thought you had encountered a shiny Paras, only to find out that a regular Paras' mushrooms are actually pink; and NOT red, as I thought myself?

No? Lucky you.

Seriously though, apparently I just can't seem to remember certain Pokémon's color schemes. Paras is a perfect example of such a Pokémon. The worst part is that the mushrooms of a shiny Paras are actually pink as well; Paras is just a darker shade of orange in its shiny form. And if I remember correctly, Paras' mushrooms were RED prior to X and Y, even in the anime and its older official art... Or have its mushrooms always been pink in its official art? Well, it's whatever; I'm only confusing myself now. I should ask myself whether Paras is actually worth fussing over, and the answer is a firm 'NO'! There is nothing interesting about Paras itself, not even the parasitic mushrooms called tochukaso that are growing on its back and exert some command over Paras' actions. That is to say, these mushrooms only get interesting when Paras evolves into Parasect, when the host is drained of its nutrients and energy and the two tiny tochukaso become one big mushroom that has full control over Parasect. In short, Parasect is a zombie.

Those big, creepy, glassy, milky-white eyes, though...

Adorable mommy Parasect with her cute little baby Paras on
her back. 

You'd almost think that I don't like Parasect, but that is not exactly true. I just think Parasect is a tad bit underwhelming in battle. It is by no means a good competitive battler, as its defensive stats are only somewhat decent (but nothing to write home about); and while its attack is actually quite good, it has nothing to back it up with, like a good HP or speed stat or even better defenses. Not to mention that this thing has quadruple weaknesses to both flying- and fire-type moves, very common types in the game. Parasect serves a better purpose when it is used in-game, and with that I mean a playthrough of the main storyline. Like I said, its attack is actually a solid base 95, but the problem is that Parasect's movepool isn't all that great when it comes to diversity. It's staple move is X-Scissor, which you should deinitely teach it. However, while it is capable of learning grass-type moves, its secondary typing, they're all special-based and you'll find them doing less damage than you wish they would, especially due to Parasect's very medicore special attack stat. You don't even get access to Seed Bomb until after you've finished the Delta Episode in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. At least teach it Giga Drain though, as this move let Parasect heal itself while doing damage to its opponent, and fill in its other moveslots with Swords Dance and either Brick Break or Cross Poison.

When it comes down to it, I'll use Parasect. But only if I have to, 'cause I have no plans on using this thing anytime soon. The whole creepy parasite/zombie thing is quite interesting, if I'm being honest, so I'll give it an extra star for its flavor.

Rating: 3/5

#43 - #45, #182: Oddish, Gloom, Vileplume & Bellossom

Oddish (up) and Gloom (below) in the
anime series.

This is a special entry in the sense that Gloom is actually the first Pokémon in the Pokédex that is capable of split evolution.

Well, okay... Eevee was the first Pokémon ever to be capable of evolving into multiple Pokémon, being the only Pokémon in Red, Blue and Yellow who could do that, but Gen. II saw the addition of multiple split evolutions and the basic or middle-stage Pokémon capable of evolving into said Gen. II Pokémon (Gloom into Bellossom, Poliwhirl into Politoed, and Slowpoke into Slowking) all come before Eevee in the Pokédex. Tyrogue, a baby Pokémon introduced in Gold and Silver as well, evolves into either Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee or Hitmontop, and the first two of those are to be found a bit earlier in the Pokédex than Eevee, too. Gloom just happens to be the first one. Its pre-evolution, Oddish, seems rather uneventful at first sight, but there are some things about its flavor that is actually quite interesting. Firstly, Oddish is based on a mandrake, a plant that shrieks when you pull it out, killing everyone that is within earshot. Well, at least in folklore. And, you guessed it, Oddish screams when it is pulled out of the soil it hides in. Second, Oddish is the only Pokémon known to have a scientific name: oddium wanderus, referring to its habit of wandering around at night. Lastly, Oddish is a nocturnal Pokémon and buries its sensitive body in the ground during the day to avoid sun and predators. It only starts moving at night, when its leaves start absorbing moonlight, which it uses to grow. It is for this reason that Oddish naturally learns the strong fairy-type move Moonblast (which it has been capable of as of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire), which Gloom, Vileplume and Bellossom cannot learn by level-up at all. They can learn Dazzling Gleam, which hits multiple opponents, but this move isn't near as strong as Moonblast is.

Official Sugimori art of Vileplume.

Vileplume, the grass/poison-type Pokémon Gloom can evolve into by means of using a Leaf Stone, greatly benefits from the lone move that Oddish can learn and that is unavailable to its evolutions otherwise. Quite some Pokémon from the first to the fifth generations have received a small boost in one of their stats, and Vileplume is no different: its special attack stat has actually been raised by 10 base points, from a nothing-to-sneeze-at base special attack of 100 to an even better special attack of 110. While it's in the NU (never used) tier competitive-wise, it's actually a great Pokémon to use, not in the least because of its hidden ability: Effect Spore, which has a chance to paralyze or poison the foe or put the foe to sleep when it makes contact with Vileplume, works great in conjunction with status-inducing moves like Sludge Bomb. With a final moveset of Sludge Bomb, Moonblast, and Giga Drain and Moonlight for reliable recovery (Giga Drain even deals some serious damage to the opponent, too) you actually have a great offensive Vileplume to rock out with. Vileplume has decent defenses as well, so if you invest in those instead of its special attack, you might even be able to stall or have a higher chance of inducing status ailments. Especially when you ditch Moonblast for a move like Sleep Powder.

Old official Sugimori art of Bellossom. Maybe its skin
color causes controversy (as was the case with Jynx),
because now its skin has a green color rather than blue.

Bellossom, on the other hand, has a quite different flavor than Oddish, Gloom and Vileplume. While those Pokémon are predominantly nocturnal and toxic (especially Gloom, who secretes a sticky drool-like nectar from its mouth to attract prey and releases a foul fragrance from the petal on its head that can be smelled from a mile away, and Vileplume, who shakes or burst its petals into bloom to create highly allergenic and toxic pollen with which it paralyzes its prey), Bellossom is actually a happy Pokémon that is often seen dancing and chanting. It dances when cloudy weather persists (as a ritual to summon the sun), or when the period of heavy rainfall ends and it is drawn out by the warm sunlight. That's not strange, regarding the fact that Gloom actually evolves into Bellossom when it is exposed to a Sun Stone. Considering the fact that Bellossom is such a happy Pokémon, almost resembling a hula dancer, it is not illogical that Gloom loses its poison typing when it evolves into Bellossom. I feel like Bellossom should have gotten fairy as its secondary typing, however, as this type wouldn't fit it badly at all. That way, Moonblast and Dazzling Gleam would have been STAB moves that would have hit harder than Vileplume's Moonblast attacks. Bellossom is more defensive than it is offensive, though, so investments in its defenses might have more effect than investments in an offensive Bellossom. A moveset that consists of Sleep Powder, Giga Drain, Sunny Day, and either Synthesis or Moonlight is an excellent moveset to ensure its durability. Sunny Day activates Bellossom's ability Chlorophyll, which doubles its speed in harsh sunlight, while both Moonlight and Synthesis heal 75% of its health while the sun is still up.

The entire Oddish family: Oddish (left), Gloom (right), Vileplume (middle), and
Bellossom (on top of Vileplume's petals). 

At the end of the day, both Vileplume and Bellossom make for interesting flower Pokémon. The former is even based on rafflesia arnoldii, a large flower that looks and smells like decaying flesh and generates heat to match the radiating warmth of an animal carcass. Ew. Both Pokémon have their uses, although I've always liked Vileplume a little bit more than Bellossom. That is just my personal taste though, and if I'd had to rate the entire Oddish family as a whole, I would whole-heartedly grant them a more-than-decent 4.5-star rating! And yes, usually my ratings are mostly (but not entirely) based on the final evolution in an evolution line, and this not really an exception, but in this case I should take Oddish and Gloom's flavor into consideration as well!

Rating: 4.5/5

#41 - #42, #169: Zubat, Golbat & Crobat

Zubat is probably the most hated Pokémon. 

Next up to discuss is the most beloved Pokémon of all time... Zubat!

Wait a minute...

I think I got confused with another Pokémon; Zubat isn't loved by many at all, save for those people whose favorite Pokémon is actually Zubat and/or its evolution line. If anything, this Pokémon is probably the one Pokémon that is most hated on. This, of course, has everything to do with how frequently Zubat shows up while you're roaming the caves all over Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh. To be honest, Zubat and its evolution Golbat show up more often than you'd want 'em to, and in almost every goddamn cave at that, too. Yeah, I get why everyone is so upset about this eyeless freak bat (they gradually grew shut because they're constantly hiding from the sunlight in dark places), especially since Game Freak saw fit to let these bat Pokémon return to practically every cave in Hoenn and Sinnoh as well. I absolutely agree that's overkill, but personally I don't have a problem with Zubat and Golbat at all. And even though I do understand everyone's annoyance with this Pokémon, I don't understand those who whine about it. I mean, just slap a goddamn Repel on and get done with the area if Zubat annoys you so much.

Official art of Golbat by Ken Sugimori.

When you proceed through the games, though, you're more likely to run into Golbat instead of Zubat. You might think that would be just as annoying as running into Zubat, but at least Golbat isn't actually Zubat. One downside of encountering Golbat is that it is actually a vampire, because it feeds on blood from both Pokémon and humans to such extent that its blood type will change to that of its victim following a feed (300 cubic centimeters per bite!). It will then become too heavy to fly. What gluttonous little monsters they are, aren't they? Now, Zubat's description on Bulbapedia doesn't say anything about them being bloodsuckers as well (I suppose they are), but they can't be as bad as Golbat is described to be. On the other hand, in-game Golbat don't really suck your blood and they are, quite obviously, stronger than Zubat. They also have better moves. Therefore, it is battle-ready right off the bat.

Get it?

Yeah, lame. I know.

Anyway, that's not all regarding Golbat. Gold and Silver actually saw the introduction of Crobat, Golbat's evolution. While Golbat's attack stat is decent, it isn't very strong on its own. Prior to Gen. II, you didn't have a choice but to use one if you wanted to use it in the first place, but as of Gen. II, you'd do better to evolve it into Crobat immediately. Well, immediately... Golbat evolves when it has a high friendship level, and that friendship level is high enough after having run around like a madman for 30+ minutes.

Crobat by night. Well, it's a bat, what did you expect?

But the hard 'work' pays off! Crobat isn't much stronger than Golbat, but that little extra strength is very much appreciated, especially in the competitive scene. An in-game Crobat's moveset is sufficient enough with just attacking moves like Cross Poison, Acrobatics and X-Scissor, but in the competitive scene, people use completely different moves. See, Crobat resides in the UU tier (underused), which, despite the name, can be a popular tier to play in. To mess with opposing walls, Crobat has Taunt to prevent opponents from setting up, Defog to clear any entry hazards like Stealth Rock and Sticky Web, Roost for some reliable healing, U-Turn to freely switch in to another Pokémon while still doing damage, and the ability Infiltrate to bypass screens and substitutes. Crobat has decent bulk to pull all that off, too. An all-offensive Crobat isn't unheard of either, especially not in combination with maxed out attack and speed stats, the hold item Choice Band, and egg moves like Zen Headbutt and Brave Bird (or maybe TM move Acrobatics for massive damage without the recoil damage Brave Bird does; but that doesn't go well with a Choice Band).

If you don't watch out, Crobat is a force to be reckoned with. My own experiences with Crobat have been nothing but positive and I actually like this Pokémon enough to give it a 4-star rating, to which Zubat and Golbat don't even come close.

Rating: 4/5

#174, #39 - #40: Igglybuff, Jigglypuff & Wigglytuff

Official art of adorable, round Igglybuff.

Who remembers that annoying-as-fuck Jigglypuff that occasionally sang everybody to sleep in the first season of the anime series?

Yeah, that's what this article is about...

Seriously though, that Jigglypuff was incredibly annoying. And unreasonable too, for that matter, as it got mad and inflated when they fell asleep after its lullabies. The first time it got mad it stole a marker from Ash's backpack and started to doodle on their faces. Jigglypuff carried that marker along with it everywhere and never hesitated to use it when Ash and his company fell asleep once more. I never liked that Jigglybuff, though. It only interrupted the episode and it had no purpose in the anime whatsoever, so you can say that my 'experience' with this windbag (literally, because after mesmerizing its opponent with its eyes, Jigglypuff inflates its lungs to start singing a lullaby, endangering its own life by continuing to sing until its lungs run out of air if the opponent resists falling asleep) hasn't exactly been of a positive nature. It took a long time for me to actually start liking Jigglypuff. And then came Igglybuff...

Fan drawing of Jigglypuff (left) and Wigglytuff (right).

Like, was it really necessary to add another useless baby Pokémon? We've had Pichu and Cleffa now, who serve no purpose whatsoever (except maybe breeding the move Volt Tackle on Pichu in Pichu's case), and it's not even the last baby Pokémon to have been introduced in Gen. II. In fact, I am yet to review Tyrogue, Smoochum, Elekid and Magby, who have all been introduced in Gen. II as well. Gen. IV isn't much better, with a total of seven new pre-evolutions of Pokémon that already existed. Let it be clear, I don't hate baby Pokémon... I mean, they are cute and all, but what purpose do they serve other than being the result of introducing breeding (which, let's be honest, could have been introduced without adding weaker forms of already-existing Pokémon)? I don't want to rant about baby Pokémon and dedicate this whole article to it, but I had to put it out there. Again, this doesn't mean I hate Igglybuff; on the contrary, really, I just wonder why these Pokémon were added in the first place...

Cute.

Well, it can't be helped; Igglybuff is here, bouncing continually and uncontrollably once it starts with that, and with a sore throat of singing too much (if only the anime Jigglypuff had had this problem once in a while...). In the end, though, this article is largely based on one Pokémon: Jigglypuff's evolution Wigglytuff. Like Cleffa, Clefairy and Clefable, it is now a fairy type (just like Igglybuff and Jigglypuff), but rather than having been changed into pure fairy types, Wigglytuff and its pre-evolutions have had the fairy type added to their primary normal typing. Other than taking neutral damage from fighting-type moves rather than being weak to it, this type combination makes no sense. Game Freak might as well have changed them into pure fairy types, but whatever... The main thing is that Wigglytuff got a boost in its base special attack, making this stat halfway decent. Its defenses are still booty, but its massive HP stat makes Wigglytuff bulky, anyway. Combine its passable special attack with moves like Ice Beam, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Hyper Voice, Flamethrower, Thunderbolt, Focus Blast and even Grass Knot and you have a Wigglytuff with so much diversity that you don't even know where to start when filling a moveset.

All in all, Igglybuff and its evolution Jigglypuff don't particularly pique my interest, but Wigglytuff is cute and interesting enough to pull off a very decent rating. I mean, who wouldn't want a fluffy balloon? Indeed, Wigglytuff's pink fur is so soft that those who touch it (including its own species) will not want to stop, and its body is so soft and rubbery that it is able to inflate by inhaling, moving around by bouncing or floating while it is inflated. I want to see you find a fluffy bunny/balloon thing that can do that. And yes, eventually I did get over my annoyance with Jigglypuff, because I haven't watched the anime series in ages...

Rating: 4/5

#37 - #38: Vulpix & Ninetales

Official art of Vulpix.

Next up on my list are the pure fire types Vulpix and Ninetales. Yeah... pure fire types.

You see, everything about their flavor indicates they should have had a secondary typing, probably ghost or maybe even psychic. Well, at least Ninetales should have... Because even though Vulpix is capable of manipulating fire to such precision that it can create floating wisps of flame, is born with one white tail that splits into six and learns most of the moves that define their flavor, such as Extrasensory, Hex, Spite, Grudge, Feint Attack, Confuse Ray, Hypnosis and even Will-O-Wisp (almost all fire and ghost types can learn this move, but I'll mention it just for the sake of making my point; besides, aside from Vulpix and the Fennekin line, another line of fiery foxes, only some ghost-type moves can learn this move by level-up), Ninetales is the one Pokémon in this evolution line that is the most fascinating. Vulpix is cute and all, but Ninetales is where things get weird. It is a very beautiful Pokémon, but it is also very vengeful towards those who mistreat it, laying a 1,000-year curse on them. Ninetales can live for 1,000 years due to the energy within its nine tails, each of which is said to have its own mystical power. That is not all, though: Ninetales is based on a kitsune, a fox-like creature of Japanese folklore that have many tails, have extremely long lifespans and can breathe fire. After a long-lived life, kitsune take on spirit forms, which is exactly the reason why Ninetales should have had a secondary ghost typing to begin with. And the ability to learn Shadow Ball, while we're at it.

Beautiful, majestic Ninetales.

That is not to say that Ninetales doesn't learn any other good moves, however. You might want to make sure to have a Ninetales with its hidden ability, which is Drought. It conjures up the sun for at least five turns and powers up its fire-type moves by 50% while weakening any super effective water-type moves opponents might use against Ninetales by 50% as well. This ability is excellent for setting up, because Ninetales can learn Nasty Plot, which is a start move that sharply raises its somewhat mediocre special attack stat. That, combined with Drought, the item Life Orb, its excellent special defense and speed stats, and the moves Solar Beam, Flamethrower and Psyshock, makes for an excellent competitive Pokémon in the NU tier. That way, you can go all-offensive and you won't have to spend a moveslot on Sunny Day or Will-O-Wisp. You could go for the Hypnosis/Dream Eater combo, but Hypnosis has such low accuracy that it's not really worth it. Besides, Psyshock is more reliable and consistent and, above all, hits for physical damage rather than special damage, while still making use of Ninetales' special attack stat. That is quite useful against specially bulky opponents and provides for more coverage anyway.

Shiny Ninetales is one of my favorite shinies. 

One more reason why Ninetales is one of my favorite Pokémon is its shiny form. Usually, Ninetales are beige with brown tail tips, but shiny Ninetales is gray with blue tail tips. It is... beautiful. One of my favorite shiny Pokémon for sure. Also, this color scheme fits Ninetales' flavor of being a mystical creature even more than its regular color scheme, as it looks more like a ghost-type Pokémon (there I go again about its should-be secondary typing!) when it's shiny. I love Ninetales for everything it stands for, though, so I can't help but give it a perfect rating of five stars!

Rating: 5/5

#173, #35 - #36: Cleffa, Clefairy & Clefable

Cute fan art of Cleffa (right) and its evolution Clefairy (left).

Damn, I was looking forward to discussing these Pokémon. Let's do this.

So, as it happens, Pokémon X and Y introduced the brand-new fairy type. These games also marked the first time that Pokémon from earlier generations had their typing completely changed, rather than that this new type was added to them on top of their primary typing (like Gen. II did with Magnemite and Magneton, when they gained the steel typing on top of their primary electric typing). The Cleffa line, the Togepi line, and Snubbull and Granbull had all been pure normal types (or normal/flying types in the case of Togetic and Togekiss) prior to X and Y, but have been made pure fairy types (or fairy/flying types in the case of, again, Togetic and Togekiss) in X and Y. This actually made the Pokémon mentioned above quite useful, as they weren't so great prior to X and Y. You see, the normal type is probably the worst offensive typing in the game, being super effective against absolutely nothing and resisted by rock and steel. Ghosts aren't affected by normal types at all, but can't do anything to normal types in return, either. Fairies, however, are dragon slayers and are super effective against fighting and dark types as well.

Official art of Clefable

Of course, Cleffa and Clefairy are still pre-evolutions of Clefable and aren't that useful against most dragons, especially not competitively. Clefable, on the other hand, didn't only get a useful typing; it also got a boost in its base special attack stat. Not that Clefable was particularly bad before Gen. VI, as its ability to learn moves like Ice Beam, Thunderbolt and Flamethrower and the like made it a very versatile Pokémon. The normal type was physical in the first three generations, however, so it didn't have a proper damage-dealing STAB move until Black and White, when it was able to learn Hyper Voice (let's leave out Hyper Beam in Gen. IV; even though it's a strong move, it requires Clefable to recharge the turn after that, and that is exactly what Clefable doesn't need). Its new fairy typing comes with a couple of STAB moves that are much better, though: Moonblast is a strong move that has a chance to lower the opponent's special attack stat, while Dazzling Gleam hits multiple opponents in double and triple battles. Due to its fairy typing (see how many benefits it gained by having its typing changed?), its crazy diverse movepool, and its more-than-decent special attack, special defense and HP stats, it is often used in the competitive scene. Whichever way you wanna go with it, you can let Clefable set up as a (specially) defensive wall or special sweeper. Its abilities, Magic Guard and Unaware, don't play an unimportant role in that, either.

Metronome the night away!

When I was doing a fairy mono-type playthrough of Omega Ruby (yeah, I like to keep it interesting), it was one of my main hard-hitting Pokémon. And when you're doing a playthrough like that, you quickly become attached to the Pokémon you're using. Also, the fairy type is easily my second favorite type in the game, having been unable to exceed the steel type as my favorite type, so all things considered it is not a surprise that I love this Pokémon so much all of a sudden. And not only Clefable, but the entire evolution line. Their flavor definitely suggests that these Pokémon are one of the rarest in existence; Cleffa are believed to have reached the Earth on shooting stars and are more frequently seen during meteor showers as they are attracted by them, Clefairy rarely show themselves to humans and are mostly seen dancing under the light of the full moon, whose light they absorb to be able to float, and Clefable flee when they hear humans approaching with their sensitive ears that can even hear a pin falling from half a mile away. The anime has even shown that these Pokémon are extraterrestrial, which is always a nice feature to add to a Pokémon's flavor.

There's a theory going around that Gengar is actually Clefable's shadow, due to
them sharing some similarities. 

The most interesting part about Clefable, however, is a theory that's been roaming around the Internet for ages: Gengar is Clefable's shadow. Personally, I don't really believe in this theory, but it is interesting to think about. Clefable's feet, three-fingered hands and pointy ears are features that Gengar has as well, while its wings have turned to spikes on Gengar's back, its curly hair has been replaced by spikey 'hair' and its tail has been uncurled. Also, prior to X and Y, Clefable and Gengar couldn't even touch each other with their STAB moves, as normal is immune to ghost and vice versa. Have you ever been able to hit your shadow? The theory is a little farfetched, as Gengar and Clefable were - and still are - able to hit each other with other moves. Besides... now that Clefable is a fairy type, Gengar has a huge advantage over Clefable, because Gengar's secondary typing is poison and fairy is weak to that. Also, Gengar is stronger than Clefable, at least according to base stats; although its attack stat is very medicore, and both ghost and poison were physical before the physical/special split in Gen. IV. Finally, it is heavier. Yeah, you read that correctly: Gengar is more than a pound heavier than Clefable, and I have never seen a shadow that is heavier than the person or creature the shadow belongs to.

Another cool image of Gengar being Clefable's shadow.

All things aside, Gengar might as well be considered the ghost of Clefable rather than Clefable's shadow, but even that I deem very unlikely. For starters, Gengar is nowhere close to Clefable in the Pokédex. Moreover, Gengar evolves from Haunter, who in turn evolves from Gastly, and I can safely say that Gastly and Haunter have nothing to do with Cleffa and Clefairy, respectively. Gengar being Clefable's shadow (or ghost, if you will) is a cool and interesting theory, but nowhere near believable. Not to me, anyway.

But enjoy your mindfuck, conspiratorialists!

To finish things off, Clefable is probably one of my favorite fairy types. It's also interesting to know that Game Freak almost decided to make Clefairy Ash's starter Pokémon rather than Pikachu. It wouldn't have been quite as fitting or effective as a mascot (or as Ash's starter Pokémon, for that matter, as it's way too girly), I believe, so I'm glad Game Freak went with Pikachu instead. Clefable is a whole different story; I won't give it a perfect rating, but I guess 4.5 stars should suffice.

Rating: 4.5/5

#29 - #34: Nidoran♀, Nidorina, Nidoqueen, Nidoran♂, Nidorino & Nidoking

Love at first sight. In the games they aren't able to breed with
each other, though.

Poor little Nidoran♀...

It shouldn't come as a surprise that the female Nidoran has been the least favorite Nido since the beginning, especially considering the fact that Pokémon was initially a boys' thing (although it wasn't necessarily aimed at just boys) and Nidoking was obviously more savage-looking to them than Nidoqueen. However, it goes without saying that the entire Nido family have always been an interesting bunch. Up to now, these Pokémon have been the only species of which the different genders occupy different places in the Pokédex. Without a doubt, the female Nidoran is related to the male Nidoran, but have them be the exact same species and number rather than place them in different spots in the Pokédex (although both evolution lines appear next to each other) was difficult, if not impossible, for Game Freak and Nintendo to encode into the games at the time. I guess. I don't even know exactly, maybe that wasn't even their intention at all, as both Nidoran's evolutions have different names: Nidoran♀ evolves into Nidorina and eventually Nidoqueen, while Nidoran♂ evolves into Nidorino, who ultimately evolves into Nidoking. The same cannot be said about the likes of Unfezant, Meowstic and Pyroar, for example. Their appearances differ drastically based on their gender, but both males and females have the same name.

Official Ken Sugimori art of Nidorina (left) and Nidorino (right). Nidorina are shown
to deeply care for their young, while Nidorino are often violent and easily angered.

One peculiar thing about both Nidoran is that they cannot breed. At least not with each other. They both belong to the 'Monster' and 'Field' egg groups, which are both egg groups with Pokémon that are perfectly able to breed with each other, but both Nidoran are only able to breed with Ditto. It gets even odder, as both Nidoran can produce both Nidoran. Let me explain: if a female Nidoran breeds with Ditto, it is able to produce an egg with either a female or a male Nidoran. The same goes into effect when a male Nidoran breeds with Ditto. Nidorina, Nidorino, Nidoqueen and Nidoking are part of the 'Undiscovered' egg group and cannot even breed themselves. I can imagine the frustration if you're breeding with the goal of getting five or six perfect IVs on your male Nidoran and you're getting a female one... Well, the chance is 50/50 anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be that hard; breeding perfect IVs onto your Pokémon is a torture in the first place.

The Nido family: Nidoking and Nidoqueen (back), Nidorina and
Nidorino (bottom left), and both Nidoran (bottom right).

But eventually it'll be worth your while. Just use a Moon Stone on Nidorina or Nidorino if you want Nidoqueen or Nidoking, respectively, because they do not evolve by leveling them up. Both final evolutions are quite capable in battles, though, and Nidoking is even often used in the competitive scene. That is not without a reason, because it is a little bit stronger than Nidoqueen. Whereas Nidoking is slightly faster and more offensive than it is defensive, Nidoqueen is more of a bulky Pokémon rather than an overly strong one, even though its attack stat is more than decent. It doesn't help Nidoqueen's cause that it is hardly able to effectively use its special attack stat, as it is just mediocre (just like its speed stat, so a choice item Nidoqueen is a lot less effective than a choice item Nidoking, with the exception of maybe the Choice Band). Both Nidos have some interesting physical-based level-up moves and can be taught the very same TM and HM moves, except Aerial Ace (which, for some strange reason, only Nidoqueen can learn), so both can learn some great physical moves, even through breeding.

Awesome 'realistic' interpretation of Nidoking.

As Nidoking has very respectable special attack and speed stat, however, it is often used as a special attacker, not seldom in combination with a choice item such as a Choice Scarf and its hidden ability Sheer Force, which takes away added effects of moves (reducing the target's stats, boosting the user's stats or causing a status effect to the target, but not a higher chance of a critical hit) and adds some extra power. Let's take a look at the special-based moves it can take advantage of due to its ability, shall we? Ice Beam, Thunderbolt and Flamethrower, as well as their stronger counterparts Blizzard, Thunder and Fire Blast, are viable options. Earth Power and Sludge Wave (which is stronger in one-on-one battles, but hits multiple Pokémon in double and multi battles) are must-haves for Nidoking, as they're STAB moves and receive an added bonus due to Sheer Force. It also learns Shadow Ball, Focus Blast and Surf, just for good measure. Nidoking's physical attack is even higher, but its hidden ability doesn't allow many physical-based moves to gain a boost from it. The best are probably Poison Jab, Rock Slide and the elemental punches, although Nidoking's attack stat is already so high that it can safely use moves with no added effects such as Megahorn and Earthquake (especially since it's STAB due to Nidoking's secondary ground typing). Thrash is an option, but doesn't counter any other types, and Brick Break and Shadow Claw are a little too weak for Nidoking to make good use of them. Finally we have Head Smash as an egg move, but this isn't STAB, doesn't get the power bonus from Sheer Force and does half the damage Nidoking dealt to its opponent to itself.

Old-ass official art of Nidoran♀ (left) and Nidoran♂ (right). Nidoran♀'s poison is
so venomous that only a scratch from its horn or a drop of poison is deadly.
Nidoran♂ has the ability to detect sounds with ears that contain unique muscles
that allow it to be moved in any direction, flapping them when it hears enemies
approaching.

By the way, do you want more proof of Nidoking's superiority? Its tail causes metal towers to fall over and Nidoking uses it to smash, constrict or break a prey's bones or to create distance between it and its foes in battles before it charges, while its horn is so hard that it can pierce a diamond. Also, IT IS PURPLE!!! Just like Baragon, by the way, which is a purple dinosaur-like creature from old Japanese kaijū movies - a film genre that is all about monsters and strange beasts that fight each other or attack big cities; Godzilla, for example - with bunny-like ears and a big horn on its head and the ability to burrow through earth.

All in all, the entire Nido family are great additions to the Pokémon world, especially since they're the first Pokémon that show gender differences. In fact, they were basically the only ones that were assigned a gender in Red, Blue and Yellow, because the rest of the Pokémon didn't get a gender until the second generation, when the concept of breeding was introduced. As Nidoqueen and Nidoking are two entirely seperate Pokémon in both appearance and flavor, and considering the fact that these two Nidos aren't quite equally as interesting to me, I am going to rate them separately.

Rating Nidoqueen: 4/5

Rating Nidoking: 5/5