Posts tonen met het label 3 stars. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label 3 stars. Alle posts tonen

maandag 24 september 2018

#517 - #518: Munna & Musharna

Alright, so I was thinking I should shorten my reviews down significantly, giving you a brief summary of a Pokémon's origins and flavor and only mentioning its most common Smogon competitive set instead, but I know that would leave me greatly unsatisfied in the end. I will continue writing my reviews as I have done in the past three years, so perhaps you should get used to a less frequent posting schedule. At least I'll try not to take a two-month hiatus anymore, okay?

Munna, who has one of the simplest designs ever in Pokémon.
Having said that, the Kanto rip-offs really start with today's Pokémon. Purrloin and Liepard may be distantly based on Meowth and Persian - and only when it comes to their malignant personalities - but Munna and Musharna share much of their origins with Drowzee and Hypno. They seem to be based on traditional Japanese incense burners called koro, which are used in traditional tea ceremonies and have been developed to be used with insect repellent incense nowadays. These incense are often shaped like a pig and are richly decorated with all kinds of patterns painted on them, including the floral patterns that can be found on Munna - whose existence was even hinted upon in the very first Pokémon games, with an NPC stating that the Pokémon in the Rock Tunnel area are too chunky and that, quote unquote, 'there should be a pink one with a floral pattern!' The whole censer thing falls in line with Munna's ability to eat the dreams of people and Pokémon and project these dreams by expelling Dream Mist. This mist - which in Musharna's case is continually emanating from the mark on its forehead and can be used to create shapes of things from dreams it has eaten - will be pink-colored if the dream was pleasant, but Munna can seek out and cure people and Pokémon who are having nightmares, as someone whose dream was eaten by Munna will forget its contents. Musharna seems to distinguish dreams more adeptly, as the Dream Mist coming from its forehead changes into many different colors depending on the dream that was eaten.

That is probably why Fennel wanted the Dream Mist emanated by Musharna to finish her research on the Game Sync function of the C-Gear, a device that absolutely nobody in the entire world has ever used except to access the online single-player game called the Dream World, where wild Pokémon with their hidden abilities could be caught. You had to create an account at Pokémon.com (for international players) or the Pokémon Daisuki Club (for Japanese players) in order to get access to it, and at a certain point in time, players were given only one hour every 20 hours to explore the Dream World due to the large number of people accessing the site at the same time.

I never knew a Musharna plushie could be so cute, despite the
notion that its curled-up appearance is similar to that of a fetus
and the Dream Mist coming from its forehead looks like an
umbilical cord.
In any case, as Munna and Musharna seem to share some inspiration from the myth of the baku (fun fact: according to Google, Baku is - first and foremost - the capital and largest city of Azerbaijan), a tapir-like creature known for eating dreams, this is where Drowzee and Hypno come in. Pokémon Sun goes as far as to give Drowzee a Pokédex entry that states it is thought to share common ancestry with Munna and Musharna, indicating that the latter are, in fact, blatant rip-offs. As it was Game Freak's intention to sort of reboot the franchise with Black and White, it makes sense for them to hark back to some of their early designs, but Munna and Musharna are just different enough from Drowzee and Hypno to justify their existence. Even if you disagree with that, at least Drowzee's Sun entry is a nice attempt from Game Freak to rectify that. As for Munna and Misharna's names, they're derived almost entirely from Japanese, being a combination of mu ('dream') and mushamusha (onomatopoeia for eating, as they eat dreams) with a little bit of the Latin word for 'moon', luna, thrown into the mix. Additionally, there is a term/concept in the Japanese martial art aikido called munen or mushin, referred to as the state of no-mindness or no-thought, where the conscious mind becomes instinctual - which is a large part of what dreams are like - and isn't preoccupied by other thoughts. It seems a little farfetched, as Munna and Musharna are pretty motionless as is, but this martial arts term sounds an awful lot like their names.

Also, additional points to Game Freak for including the word 'yum!' (mjam!) in Munna's German name Somniam.

Musharna in the middle, with its kin sleeping on the Dream Mist
it is emanating. In the top left corner you can even see a
Drowzee trying to blend in with the rest of its alleged common
ancestors.
Last but not least, there is the question whether Musharna can hold its own in a competitive battle. Well, despite it being bulky as fuck, it was dropped to the lowest Smogon tier possible (PU) simply for the fact that it's not a very popular Pokémon to use. However, Base 116 HP and base 85 and 95 defense and special defense, respectively, are absolutely nothing to sneeze at and could make Musharna an excellent bulky pivot with Baton Pass, Moonlight, a STAB psychic-type move and either Thunder Wave or Toxic. Protect is an excellent move in order to scout what the opponent is going to do, while Heal Bell heals all status conditions inflicted on your Pokémon in battle, Magic Coat bounces any status move back to the opponent, Sleep Talk can be used most effectively in combination with Rest, and Reflect and Light Screen provide for some additional bulk to your entire team. Calm Mind - which raises the special attack and special defense stats by one stage each upon use - can be an option to make use of Musharna's excellent base 107 special attack, especially since it's able to learn a wide variety of special attacks. These include Psychic and Psyshock, but also type coverage moves like Dazzling Gleam, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Signal Beam, any type of Hidden Power and even Shock Wave and Charge Beam. Moonlight is basically required on any Musharna set, since it provides reliable HP recovery, so just pick a STAB move and one type coverage move that you feel is necessary in your upcoming battle. Just be aware that some moves can only be learned by Munna because of it being a stone evolution (in this case, Munna evolves into Musharna by exposing it to a Moon Stone).

Because Calm Mind raises Musharna's special defense and its base defense is lower anyway, I'd go for a Bold nature for it to take physical hits better, of course supported by the Leftovers as its held item. If you're really scared of a possible incoming dark-type attack, a Colbur Berry isn't a bad option at all. Some sets suggest a Life Orb or Choice Specs for offensive utility, but since Musharna is slower than molasses in January and has to take a hit first, that's asking for trouble. As for abilities, the only useful one in singles is Synchronize, which inflicts the same status condition to the opponent as Musharna was inflicted with by the opponent in the very same turn.

Some more amazing Musharna fan art,

As you're all probably aware of by now, I am not the biggest fan of Pokémon that look fat. To me, Musharna falls into that category; and even though its origins and flavor are interesting enough, they're so blatantly ripped off of Drowzee and Hypno's not-so-signature characteristcs that I wish Game Freak had put a little bit more effort into these 'new' Pokémon. I don't hate Munna and Musharna by any means, and their designs are totally unlike Drowzee and Hypno's, which I can appreciate, but they're by far my least favorite Pokémon introduced in the fifth generation. Still, if my least favorite Unova Pokémon gets three stars, you know what's in store for the rest of the Unova roster.

Rating: 3/5

zondag 31 december 2017

#456 - #457: Finneon & Lumineon

You'd think I have nothing better to do on the 31st of December, posting a review about fictive fluorescent fishies and all, but trust me when I say I'll be done reviewing these Pokémon in no time at all.

Better watch out, Finneon, before some nasty-ass Wingull grabs
you out of the sky mid-flight. 
People often forget Finneon and Lumineon exist, and I have to say I was one of those people until Finneon surprisingly showed up in pretty much every body of water in Pokémon Sun and Moon, which was... more annoying than encountering Magikarp all the time. Even as Lumineon this Pokémon is bad, and there are only a couple of redeeming factors to be found in competitive: its average bulk - base 69 HP, 76 defense and 86 special defense - may allow it to take a few hits, while its access to Defog makes it one of the choices for a hazard remover, but in the end it is hopelessly outclassed by even Pelipper (oh God, I cannot believe I just said that; I hate that thing with a fucking passion). The latter somehow got Drizzle as one of its abilities, which makes it competently viable in one of the highest Smogon tiers, while Lumineon has to resort to Toxic, Scald and U-Turn alongside Defog to be somewhat useful and still doesn't hold its own in the lowest tier. I mean, you can't use a Pokémon from a high tier in a low tier, while the reverse is most definitely possible, but why would you use Lumineon if there are a ton of water types to choose from that are better than Lumineon? Sure, it is immune to water-type moves due to its ability Storm Drain, but so are - just to name a few good ones - Lanturn, Gastrodon, Politoed, Poliwrath, Jellicent, Seismitoad, Lapras and Vaporeon.

Lumineon in TCG.
So, does Finneon and Lumineon's flavor make them more interesting to some degree? Well, um... sorta? Because of Finneon's butterfly-like tail fins, it is believed to be derived from the freshwater butterflyfish, but the purple stripe running across Finneon's horizontal length as well as its ability to let its stripe and the patterns on its tail fins shine vividly in the darkness like neon after long exposure to sunlight suggest it is actually based on the neon tetra and the cardinal tetra. These two freshwater fish have a bright blue stripe running across its length, just like Finneon, and their bright colorations make them visible to conspecifics in the dark blackwater streams of the Orinoco. Because Finneon was included in the Alola Pokédex, it also received some unique Pokédex entries: its Moon entry proclaims that its double fin tails propel its energetic jumps and that Wingull swoop down to grab it on the fly when it breaks the surface of the water (even Lumineon's pre-evolution gets owned by Pelipper's pre-evolution; I kinda sense a pattern here), while its Ultra Sun entry mentions that holiday resorts like to feed them to keep them close because they're popular with divers.

Finneon's evolution Lumineon is just better in using its bioluminescence, luring prey by flashing the patterns on its fins and usually getting into fierce disputes with Lanturn for said prey. As everyone will remember, Lanturn is an electric-type Pokémon, so that's another Pokémon that easily owns Lumineon. Unfortunately for Lumineon, the bad luck doesn't stop there: its iridescent appearance and the luminous flashes it emits also attract ferocious fish Pokémon, its natural predators, and crawling along the seafloor like a tripod fish using the fins on your chest in order to avoid your predators surely won't work if they sense you from miles away. Well, at least scavenging the seabed for your favorite food (Starmie, for whomever wants to know) makes it all worth it, right?

Finneon (right) and Lumineon (left) showing off their bioluminescent abilities.

Well, Game Freak undeniably tried to make Lumineon a pretty fish, and in that regard I can safely say, "Mission accomplished!" If only they had made Lumineon somewhat more competitively viable, it would have been a very decent Pokémon. Now, it isn't even a good Pokémon to use in-game, as it is relatively frail compared to other bulky Pokémon and doesn't really pack a punch, either. I mean, base 69 offensive stats are nothing to write home about and will only leave you wishing for something better. Its design isn't bad at all, but I think it could have been a bit more colorful; its primarily dark blue color makes it a little bland for a tropical fish and I wish Game Freak had retained some of Finneon's purple patterns. I'm kind of on the fence about this guy's rating, but I ultimately like it less than certain other fish Pokémon and I can't see myself coming back to it all that often, if at all. It gets a safe 3-star rating, but I won't go any higher in the near future.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Rating: 3/5

woensdag 18 oktober 2017

#431 - #432: Glameow & Purugly

The artist made Glameow here much cuter than it actually is.
I told you I once did an Omega Ruby playthrough with feline Pokémon, did I? Well, even if I like Delcatty more than Purugly design-wise, I ended up using the latter, anyway.

Why? Well, because it's a better battler, of course.

I had to put up with a Glameow until level 38, however, which was a pain because it wasn't very good. I even decided to pass on Play Rough at level 50, which Purugly cannot learn, because it was really too far away. While Glameow was fast, it was also relatively weak and feeble, making it an absolute pain to train, especially since the shit with Team Magma goes down when your Pokémon are a little below that level - which is kinda late into the story in the first place - and turning on the Exp. Share tends to make them just a tad bit overleveled even when they don't get boosted experience. And my feline Pokémon did, because I didn't catch them in Omega Ruby; they were obviously transferred to this game from Pokémon Bank. Maybe Game Freak wanted to tie in Glameow's snooty and fickle personality with its in-game purposes, but perhaps that's a little too farfetched since there are a ton of Pokémon who evolve at such a high level. Purugly's stats don't justify it evolving so late from Glameow, however, because it is a decent Pokémon at best.

Is this Glameow really looking at an ordinary goldfish? 

More about Purugly's competitive capabilities later, though. First, we're going to see what it and its pre-evolution are all about flavor-wise. Like I said, Glameow is a haughty and capricious Pokémon that tends to become violent when they are dissatisfied with the current course of events; it is a spiteful Pokémon that can suddenly hook its claws into its Trainer's nose if it isn't fed or when it is angry with them for some reason. When it is happy, it can also purr quite affectionately and demonstrate beautiful movements of its tail, like a dancing ribbon. The ugly side of its personality is intensified when it evolves into Purugly, becoming a Pokémon that makes itself look larger and more intimidating by cinching its waist with its forked tail. This brazen brute barges into the nests of other Pokémon and frightens them off so it can claim the nest as its own if it finds it sufficiently comfortable. Additionally, Purugly will glare at you ceaselessly if you lock eyes with it, so you'd better not start a staring contest with this thing.

Like Pokémon, like Trainer. Or is it the other way around...?
Its hypnotizing looks are probably the reason why it has access to Hypnosis in its level-up moveset, but even though sleep is a precious status condition in competitive play, the 60% accuracy of Hypnosis makes this move less viable than one should wish. Purugly is more often used as a physical attacker in the lower tiers, rocking a moveset consisting of Fake Out, Return, Sucker Punch and Knock Off, occasionally replacing either Sucker Punch or Knock Off in favor of U-Turn. That's pretty much all you need, really. My own Purugly had Return, Aerial Ace, Shadow Claw and Dig, but those moves - with the exception of Return - are absolutely terrible in a competitive setting. It is actually way too brittle to use it as a support Pokémon, and aside from that it doesn't get a whole lot of physical or support options in the first place. You could let Purugly hold either a Silk Scarf to boost its STAB normal-type moves or a Life Orb to boost all of its moves by 30% in exchange for 10% of its health each turn, but it should have a Jolly nature at all times to make maximum use of its surprisingly excellent speed stat - it may look fat and sluggish, but its base 112 speed stat makes it a helluva lot faster than most Pokémon out there. As for abilities, you are best off with Purugly's hidden ability Defiant, which boosts its attack by two stages whenever one of its stats is lowered. Own Tempo prevents it from being confused and is merely situational, while the resistances to fire- and ice-type moves due to Thick Fat sound nice but won't have much of a notable effect because Purugly's defenses aren't worth shit.

No wonder Purugly cinches its waist with its tail. It will become much slower and
less self-confident with such a high amount of fat. 

Purugly is exactly what its name suggests it is: ugly - characteristically as well as aesthetically, and that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. While I used it in my feline playthrough of Omega Ruby, I only did so because the alternative was Delcatty, and we all know Delcatty sucks. In my opinion, however, Game Freak could have done a lot better than creating a brutal, overweight domestic tabby cat. Persian is a mean bitch already, and its personality fits its design and appearance perfectly, so there was no need to depict another cat in a bad light like this. Cats already have a bad rap due to their distant, suspicious and unfriendly personalities, and I'll be the first to admit that they're not as friendly and playful as dogs are, but in my experience they can be very sweet and curious and allow you to cuddle with them all you like as long as you treat them right. Feline Pokémon with dubious personalities such as Persian and Liepard can be an asset to the Pokémon franchise when executed well, but a Pokémon like Purugly was absolutely unnecessary. If my ratings were based on design alone, this Pokémon would get 4.5 stars from me, but I'll have to lower that rating significantly after my heavy criticism of Purugly's flavor.

Rating: 3/5

maandag 25 september 2017

#420 - #421: Cherubi & Cherrim

I feel like Gen. IV definitely introduced the largest batch of forgettable Pokémon. I keep failing to remember Finneon and Lumineon are a thing, while I am indifferent towards Buizel and Floatzel; Pokémon like Kricketune, Mothim and Skuntank are easily overlooked, even though I personally really like them; this generation's legendary trio are by far the least used in the competitive metagame; and I feel like stand-alone Pokémon like Carnivine and Chatot don't bring much to the table other than a couple of gimmicky features.

Three basic-stage grass-type Pokémon with the same fucking
face. My GOD, maybe Game Freak and Nintendo are running out
of ideas after all! ;)
But taking home the gold for being the most forgettable Gen. IV Pokémon are Cherubi and Cherrim. Cherubi is just a pre-evolution and so it's not the little guy's fault, but let's be honest: it's literally just a cherry with a second head hanging from its stem. The head isn't sentient and is vestigial in terms of function, but it contains nutrients that contribute to Cherubi's growth as its initial source of food and is apparently very tasty, as several other Pokémon have been observed trying to pluck it off. When the second head begins to bloom, Cherubi is close to evolving into Cherrim... who is nothing but a bud with a pair of feet. This is Cherrim's Overcast Forme, which is its standard form under normal weather conditions and looks like it should be a middle-stage evolution. It only transforms into its Sunshine Forme in harsh sunlight, which doesn't make sense aesthetically: all of a sudden its feet are yellow instead of a deep pink, its eyes are on its head - where they belong - rather than near its feet, and the large purple petals it has as a bud are now small, light pink ones. And then it changes back into its standard Overcast Forme when the sunlight subsides...? I don't get this Pokémon at all. Yes, I know that cherry blossom trees are a staple of the Japanese landscape, and a Pokémon based on these was long overdue, but that doesn't justify creating a Pokémon that doesn't make a lick of sense, at least in my own humble and insignificant opinion. Photonastic traits are not uncommon in plants, but I don't think they change appearance the way Cherrim does.

Huh? Why are those cherry blossoms moving? 

Cherrim, I'm directly talking to you right now: I don't understand you. Why don't you stay in your Sunshine Forme (obviously call it something else, then) and be happy forever instead of being a docile, miserable bud for the majority of your life? You're a Pokémon, a magical being; you're not going to turn deciduous. Not as far as I know, at least.

Nice fan art of Cherrim's Sunshine Forme.
To the reader: don't even think about using this thing in competitive play, because it is absolutely terrible. Should you decide to use it for some unspecified reason, you're in for a bumpy ride: its base stat total of 450, of which its best stats are its base 87 special attack and base 85 speed, renders it pretty much useless. With mediocre offense and speed as well as very mediocre bulk, Cherrim should be avoided at all costs. It's a decent in-game Pokémon, though, with access to hard-hitting STAB moves like Petal Dance and Energy Ball, as well as type coverage in Dazzling Gleam. It gets Weather Ball through breeding, so maybe a sun strategy might work should you decide to use a bred Cherubi/Cherrim in a new playthrough: Sunny Day to set up harsh sunlight, Solar Beam for instant STAB damage (charges up a turn first when the weather conditions are normal), Weather Ball for 100-power fire-type damage (it's a 50-power normal-type move in normal weather conditions), and Dazzling Gleam for fairy-type coverage. This strategy does make Cherrim extra vulnerable to fire types, so it might not be the smartest idea, but at least it's an in-game option for you to consider. I guess it's something, although there are much better grass-type Pokémon to choose from.

3D art of Cherrim's Overcast and Sunshine Formes. 

I don't like how Cherrim's two forms are nothing alike. The incredible thing is that I don't hate the design of its Sunshine Forme at all, as I think it's actually pretty cute. It's just... what purpose does this Pokémon serve? You'll almost always see it in its Overcast Forme, as extraordinary weather conditions in-game are pretty rare, and even then you'll rarely encounter Cherrim. It was also a hassle to get, as the only way to obtain Cherubi in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum was to slather Honey on trees and wait six hours for a Pokémon to appear. Not Cherubi specifically; no, a randomly generated Pokémon. That's just not worth it.

Overall, I'm giving Cherrim 3 stars, only because its ridiculous Overcast Forme exists. 

P.S.: Don't get me started about that so-called marijuana reference in Cherubi's National Pokédex number, just because this Pokémon is a grass type. I am aware of it and I think it's stupid. Cherubi makes you high as much as Vivillion is the spawn of Satan or Bellsprout an actual reference to a blowjob. So, in other words: not at all.

Rating: 3/5

vrijdag 1 september 2017

#412 - #414: Burmy, Wormadam & Mothim

Burmy feeling uncomfortable losing its cloak.
As if the Gen. II Pokémon Pineco and Forretress weren't enough already, Diamond and Pearl gave us more bagworm Pokémon in the form of Burmy and Wormadam. Unlike Pineco, however, Burmy doesn't blow up in your face as early as level 6, nor does it have any useful moves in its level-up moveset. In fact, Burmy just uses Protect to avoid any damage on its persona, annoying players all around the world. This Pokémon learns a grand total of six moves, two of which can only be learned through a Move Tutor in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, so basically the only thing it can do is stall the player out and do nothing in particular. That sounds contradictory, but it's not. As Burmy is vulnerable in its bare form, it composes a cloak made of twigs and leaves that is thinner in hot weather and thicker in the winter in order to shelter itself from cold and wintry winds. It doesn't always stay in the same form, however: if its cloak gets broken, Burmy quickly remakes it with materials nearby. This manifests itself in the games quite well, as Burmy takes on a specific kind of cloak based on the location where it last 'battled' - Plant Cloak (green) in grassy areas, Sandy Cloak (beige) in caves or on beaches, or Trash Cloak (pink) in buildings.

Female Burmy evolve into Wormadam (bottom left), while male
Burmy evolve into Mothim (bottom right). 
Changing its cloak doesn't change the fact that it is a bug type, nor does it gain him an additional type on top of its bug typing. However, its cloak does have an effect on wich typing its evolution Wormadam ends up with when it evolves at level 20: Plant Cloak Wormadam is bug/grass, Sandy Cloak Wormadam is bug/ground, and Trash Cloak Wormadam is bug/steel. The cloak is now part of Wormadam's body and is never shed, and therefore this Pokémon cannot change its typing at will; it will always stay in the same form. Apart from their distinctive typings, the different forms of Wormadam also have their own unique base stat distributions: Plant Cloak is more specially oriented, Sandy Cloak is more physically oriented, and Trash Cloak takes a more defensive approach. Not that it matters much, because in this case, physically or specially oriented means a mediocre attack or special attack stat as well as a good defense or special defense stat backed up by a mediocre HP stat. A physically oriented Wormadam is terrible anyway, so Sandy Cloak is out. Trash Cloak is moderately defensive with its base 95 defense and special defense, but its HP is still lackluster and it can't attack for shit with those bad offensive stats, so that one is also out of the running. That means Plant Cloak is the only remaining Wormadam form, and with base 79 special attack and 105 special defense - along with access to Quiver Dance and a decent special movepool - it is the only one who is somewhat viable for an in-game team.

Yo, these moth Pokémon are drawn so well. Great style!
Clockwise starting from the top left: Dustox, Mothim,
Venomoth and Volcarona, with Masquerain in the middle. 
But as Burmy is based on a bagworm pupa that will metamorphose into a moth if male or remain a pupa-like creature if female, it also has another evolution. Only female Burmy evolve into Wormadam; male Burmy evolve into Mothim, who is - indeed - a moth Pokémon. It is one of the better ones in my opinion, especially compared to Venomoth and Dustox, but I guess I'm a little biased because I used one in a Pokémon X playthrough and I enjoyed it tremendously. Not only do I like its design and color scheme better than any one of the Wormadam, its stat distribution is far more workable, too: it has base 94 attack and special attack as well as slightly more HP and a significantly higher speed stat than Wormadam. Its base 66 speed stat still isn't anything to write home about, mind you, but it's pretty decent after a Quiver Dance boost and allows it to actually outspeed some things. And shit, does this thing have an awesome moveset for a goddamn moth; Bug Buzz, Air Slash and Psychic are level-up moves and will suffice to complete its moveset, although it also learns Energy Ball and Shadow Ball by means of TMs and Electroweb and Giga Drain when you take it to the Move Tutor in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Too bad Mothim is so frail, but I guess it's a far more efficient Quiver Dance user than Wormadam. I wouldn't recommend using it competitively, but it makes for a more-than-decent addition to any in-game team.

Mothim in the anime series.

The only thing that really bugs me about Wormadam is that it learns Confusion, Psybeam and Psychic by level-up as well as Dream Eater by TM, which applies to all Wormadam forms and implies they all should have been part psychic, but absolutely nothing in their designs and/or flavor implicates that they have any psychic abilities. Mothim learns them also, but it's not uncommon for Game Freak to give moth and butterfly Pokémon psyhic-type moves like Confusion and Psybeam, to name a few. Wormadam, on the other hand, has no business knowing those moves and cannot make use of them effectively. It's fucking dumb, really.

A more realistic interpretation of Mothim. Although its body is now reduced to a
fluffy ball, I still think it's cute.

I don't hate Wormadam. If anything, I'm impartial towards it - I can't say that I'm the biggest fan of this Pokémon, but it's here now and I'm bothered by neither its design nor its flavor. Burmy and Wormadam are a sensible take on the traditional bagworm, only with a twist; even the pink Trash Cloak Wormadam with its bug/steel typing makes a certain amount of sense, as its cloak is based on the pink-colored building insulation material made of fiberglass. Mothim makes the exact same amount of sense as Wormadam, and even though it's nothing else but the zillionth bug/flying type, there are so many more things that I love about it, including its shiny coloration.

Oh man, can I just say that its shiny is downright gorgeous? It's definitely one of my favorites so far.

Rating Wormadam: 3/5



Rating Mothim: 5/5

zondag 20 augustus 2017

#399 - #400: Bidoof & Bibarel

There is hardly any serious fan art of Bidoof to be found on the
Internet, so here it is in all its TCG-art glory. 
Poor, poor little Bidoof. Just because it is considerably more abundant in Sinnoh than other typical early-game rodents like Rattata, Sentret and Zigzagoon in their respective games, it is one of the most hated Pokémon in existence. It doesn't really help that its name derives from 'doofus' and that its design isn't all that appealing, either; many people think Bidoof and Bibarel look ugly and stupid, and I have to say I don't fully disagree with them. I mean, I think they should really see a dentist to have those buck teeth checked, and I can't say Bibarel's stare makes it look especially quick-witted. Shiny hunters who are chaining for certain shiny Pokémon often consider Bidoof a living nightmare, as this little shit easily breaks their Poké Radar chains in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum. Its cry has also been mentioned as one of the reasons why it is hated so much, being described as irritating, eardrum-perforating, not enjoyable and 'that damn cry'. But even though other people hate it and its evolution tremendously, I've always liked these motherfuckers. Bidoof and Bibarel are based on beavers, and I think Game Freak have done a fine enough job giving Pokémon based on these lame and uninspiring animals a little bit of originality (with the emphasis on 'a little bit'); it never struck me as problematic that they were found all over Sinnoh, as other Pokémon were just as easy to find; I'm not a shiny hunter, so I wouldn't know what it feels like when Bidoof breaks your Poké Radar chain; and lastly, I've never had a problem with any Pokémon's cry aside from fucking Pelipper's.

Bibarel is a bit sluggish on land, but it's a swift swimmer.

None of these things have stopped naysayers from using Bibarel as an HM slave, anyway: being the first normal-type Pokémon paired with a type other than flying - water in this case, because it's a beaver - it can learn the highest amount of useful HM techniques. It has access to Cut, Surf, Strength, Waterfall, Rock Climb and even Rock Smash, which means you'd probably had a hard time deciding which HM moves you actually needed on it. Six out of eight ain't bad; it obviously cannot learn Fly and Defog because it's not a goddamn flying type, but Fly is always a good move to have on your Staraptor anyway, and Defog isn't even necessarily a requirement.

Being one of the most hated Pokémon yet one of the most used ones, albeit as an HM slave... Hmmm, the irony isn't lost on me.

Flavor-wise, there is absolutely nothing interesting about Bidoof and Bibarel. Bidoof's Pokédex entries are all bout its large incisors, which grow constantly and thus it has to whittle them down by gnawing on sturdy things such as rock and wood. While primarily based on the tail-lacking mountain beaver, its evolution Bibarel is based on the beaver as we know it, industriously damming up rivers with bark and mud in order to make a nest but somehow never causing them to overflow.

Bibarel.
That's pretty much all there is to say about these Pokémon, except when you count Bibarel's competitive capabilities. If used at all, Bibarel is used for one tactic and one tactic only: the Simple/Curse combo. Simple is an ability that doubles the effectiveness on stat changes, which means that the move Curse now increases Bibarel's attack and defense by two stages rather than one and lowers its speed by two stages rather than one as well. It's a quick way to get a physically bulky-offensive Pokémon with access to moves like Return, Waterfall, Aqua Jet, Quick Attack, Crunch, Superpower, Aqua Tail and Iron Tail, especially in combination with an Adamant nature and a Life Orb. Water and normal is a very good combination anyway, covering anything but a few dual-type Pokémon (ghost/grass, grass/steel, water/steel and water/ghost), so a moveset consisting of Curse, Return, Waterfall and Aqua Jet is usually more than enough. If necessary, Aqua Jet can be ditched for Crunch or Rest - the latter in conjunction with a Chesto Berry as a held item - and I guess a Swords Dance set isn't bad in combination with Simple either, but all of Bibarel's stats are pretty subpar and therefore I'd avoid putting a Bibarel on any team in the first place. And should you decide to use one anyway, don't you even worry about either of the other abilities it gets. Unaware makes Bibarel ignore the opposing Pokémon's stat changes, but that is purely situational and it unfortunately doesn't affect its own stat changes, so Simple is better in that regard. Moody randomly increases one of Bibarel's stat by two stages and lowers one by one stage every turn, which could end in either a success or a catastrophe for you. In this case, I assume you don't wanna risk it for the biscuit, eh?

In short, Bibarel is a risky Pokémon to use in the competitive metagame in the first place, even with a standard Simple set. Once the Diamond and Pearl remakes come around - which I'm sure won't be until at least 2019 - it'll probably be used abundantly as an HM slave again. And that's really the only thing it is good for. I'll give it 3 stars because I quite like its design and because it's one of the most effective HM slaves, but other than that it's definitely not one of my favorite Pokémon ever.

Rating: 3/5

donderdag 1 juni 2017

#433, #358: Chingling & Chimecho

I am so sick and tired of these useless baby Pokémon. Luckily, this is the last one...

I still don't know what baby Pokémon are good for. Honestly,
Chimecho didn't even need a pre-evolution; if anything, it's
desperately in need of an evolution. 
There's nothing much to say about Chingling, either. It's a bell Pokémon based on the suzu bells used at shrines visited by followers of the Japanese Shintō religion, and it has a red orb in the back of its throat used to emit high-frequency and long-lasting cries that deafen its opponents but can be too high for people to hear. Or it just makes ringing sounds whenever it is hopping around, going about its business. Whatever, I don't care about Chingling. Nor do I care an awful lot about Chimecho, to be honest, but maybe that's because I haven't ever paid it much attention. The Japanese bell aspect is retained (or rather, Game Freak elaborated on this aspect with Chingling), but Chimecho is based on a fūrin rather than a suzu bell. Fūrin are particularly beautiful wind chimes made of glass that have been produced since the Edo period (c. 1603 - 1868 AD) of Japanese history, as glassblowing techniques from the Netherlands were introduced to the Japanese people in the seaport of Nagasaki during the 18th century. It was the first time the Japanese ever saw glass. After the glass objects were shipped to more affluent areas, the Japanese were prompted to learn glassblowing for themselves and create their own distinct glass paraphernalia, which resulted in the creation of Edo fūrin in the 19th century. At first these were used to ward off evil and epidemics, like their bronze predecessors called fūtaku, but nowadays they're used to enjoy their cooling and soothing sounds during hot summer days. One technique the Japanese have mastered is painting the glass on the interior of the chime so that the colors won't fade easily.

Chimecho. Don't you think its tail looks like a blood-soaked tissue paper?

But as beautiful and fascinating fūrin are, so bland is Chimecho. Such an interesting concept could have been the basis for an awesome Pokémon design, but Chimecho actually suffers from being a tad bit underdesigned: its bluish white body is partially covered by red marks that make it look as if someone has just tried to stop their nosebleed with a facial tissue. The vast majority of its flavor is directly derived from the way fūrin are used, too, as it comes flying on air currents when the hot season arrives and hangs from tree branches or the eaves of a building using the weird yellow suction cup on its head. (Wait a minute, that thing is a suction cup? It certainly doesn't look the part.) However, it is a whole lot louder than a regular wind chime. Chimecho utters cries that reverberate from deep within its body, and if it becomes enraged or upset enough, its cries result in ultrasonic waves that have the power to knock foes flying.

Chimecho using either Hyper Voice or Uproar. Both fit its flavor
perfectly, but neither actually provide it STAB: both Uproar and
Hyper Voice are normal-type moves, while Chimecho is pure
psychic.
Not that Chimecho is anywhere near as strong as its flavor suggests: its stats are no more than decent, but if your best stat is your base 95 special attack, you're gonna have a hard time keeping up with other Pokémon with better offensive or defensive stats - or both. Chimecho did get a buff in its defensive stats in Gen. VII, but ten extra base points in HP, defense and special defense won't make that much of a difference. Using it competitively is out of the question, so I'd recommend using it solely in playthroughs - if you want to, obviously. It learns just enough attacking moves - Psychic, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball and Dazzling Gleam - to fill up a moveset, and you could even ditch one (not Psychic, though) to give it Calm Mind. It's just a shame Chimecho isn't of much use. Smogon mentions a Leftovers set with a couple of moves such as Healing Wish (causes the user to faint and recovers the incoming Pokémon's HP and cures it of any status conditions it may have), Recover, Heal Bell, Thunder Wave and Taunt. Recover and Heal Bell are good moves indeed, but Chimecho is slow and it won't be able to effectively use Taunt very often because of that. It's not bulky enough to take hits either, so instead you could opt to go for a Light Clay set with Reflect and Light Screen, which - once set up - make Chimecho somewhat harder to take down. I'd just set up screens and switch out to some offensive tank or something, that will be more effective.

While Chimecho has an interesting concept behind its design, it is actually poorly executed. I don't hate Chimecho's guts, and it narrowly escapes a bad rating from me, but it does make you long for something that could have been.

You know what would be an amazing evolution for Chimecho? A carillon.

Rating: 3/5

zaterdag 25 februari 2017

#316 - #317: Gulpin & Swalot

I apologize for the lack of posts lately, but I was in the process of moving out and I only now have time to write another entry for this blog.

A drooling Gulpin. I wanna bet you should not touch its saliva.
So next up on my list are Gulpin and Swalot, and I have to say they aren't anything special. As Gulpin is a giant green sac, it is probably based on a gallbladder, this green sac-like organ we have to store gastric acid; and since its stomach comprises most of its body, it has the ability to swallow anything of its own size whole. That's nasty. Even nastier is the fact that vile, overpowering gases are expelled from Gulpin's body when its stomach is digesting its food. So it's basically a burping gallbladder with a humongous stomach creating special enzymes that allows it to dissolve anything Gulpin swallows. I'm sorry, Game Freak, but you won't win me over with such stomach-churning antics, if you'll excuse the pun. Unfortunately, Swalot's flavor (no pun intended this time) doesn't differ much from Gulpin's; it's bigger and it's able to swallow bigger things, but its stomach is as digestive as Gulpin's - containing the very same special enzymes with the very same dissolving qualities - and the poison it secretes from its pores (toxic sweat?) to capture living prey with is probably as poisonous as the gases Gulpin emits when its food is being digested. The only thing Swalot can do is expand or contract its body at will so that it can swallow big things, which doesn't surprise me from a creature that is mostly composed of a stomach in the first place.

If you can't find any purpose to Swalot, you can always
use the thing as a beanbag, as May is doing here. 
But can this poisonous gland do anything more than just be disgusting? Well, yes. With base 100 HP and base 83 defenses it is actually kind of a bulky Pokémon in the competitive metagame, but despite the fact that Swalot's attacking stats are somewhat subpar, it is often used as a bulky offensive Pokémon. While a Quiet nature increases its special attack a little (but limits its speed, which doesn't matter because it's slow anyway and you need its attack stat), an Assault Vest boosts its special defense by 50% instantly and the Sticky Hold ability allows it to hold onto its item when the opponent tries to get rid of it, its moveset is actually a mix of special and physical attacks: for STAB you can use either Sludge Bomb or Sludge Wave (the latter is stronger, but Sludge Bomb has a higher chance of poisoning the foe), while it has access to some neat type coverage moves like Giga Drain (its only reliable way of recovery), Ice Beam, Shadow Ball, Seed Bomb, the elemental punches and Earthquake, the latter being physical and the reason why you should run a Quiet nature over a Modest one. However, I recommend using a Swalot with either a Bold or a Calm nature, rocking the Leftovers and a moveset of mostly support moves. The Toxic/Protect combo is a classic stalling tactic, Pain Split is nice to have when Swalot runs out of HP and the opposing Pokémon still has plenty of HP left, and Sludge Bomb - or, yet again, Sludge Wave - is a good move to let Swalot attack with. If you'd rather put the foe to sleep so you can safely switch out to another Pokémon that can handle it, Yawn may be a good option instead of Protect. Steer away from any moves that raise its defenses (such as Stockpile, Amnesia and Acid Armor), as they seem nice but won't make much of a difference in Swalot's case.

Just a Swalot. Nothing interesting to see here.

While I'm not exactly a fan of this line, I don't hate or dislike Gulpin and Swalot in any way. It's a nice concept Game Freak came up with for these Pokémon, but their execution is just so... bland. I know I always say that a plain design can be very effective on a Pokémon (less is more, Persian is a perfect example of that), but right now I wish there was more to Gulpin and Swalot. I would like to explain it to you guys, but I don't think I really have an explanation. However, Swalot isn't completely useless and very narrowly escapes a bad rating because it's purple.

P.S.: What's with the weird whiskers, anyway?

Rating: 3/5

zondag 12 februari 2017

#313 - #314: Volbeat & Illumise

A little GIF of a smitten Volbeat (left) and Illumise (right).
Like Plusle and Minun, Volbeat and Illumise were created to introduce Double Battles, even though that didn't turn out quite well. Both bug-type Pokémon are pretty bad stat-wise, and thus no good competitively, and some of the moves in their movepools should actually be switched. Clearly, Game Freak haven't thought these two Pokémon through very well, and here's why: Volbeat gets Tail Glow and Illumise doesn't. For those who aren't aware, Tail Glow is a move that raises the user's special attack stat by a whopping three stages! That sounds broken, and it actually is to some extent, but only three Pokémon can learn it: Manaphy, Xurkitree and, obviously, Volbeat. Because, you know, it's based on a firefly and it has an adorable and tiny oval tail? Well, the only problem is that Volbeat's base special attack stat of 47 is terrible and its base attack of 73 makes it more of a physical attacker. With Illumise it's exactly the other way around, and that is precisely what bugs me (no pun intended), because Illumise has nothing to boost that somewhat mediocre special attack to competitive levels. It's a shame, because its movepool is quite diverse: Bug Buzz, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Giga Drain and even Water Pulse all would have been very good options to use after a nonexistent Tail Glow boost.

Volbeat and Illumise.

Volbeat's physical movepool is not as useful, however. Its strongest STAB move is U-Turn, which at a base power of 70 is decent at best and forces Volbeat to switch out, and only when it comes to coverage moves does Volbeat have a chance to shine: Power-Up Punch is a rather weak move but it raises the user's attack stat by one stage every time it's used, while Acrobatics' base power of 55 doubles when Volbeat isn't holding an item, which I don't recommend. Other moves are Brick Break (redundant when you're running Power-Up Punch), Ice Punch, Thunder Punch, Zen Headbutt and Play Rough. My conclusion is that both Volbeat and Illumise aren't good at all, and the small defense and special defense buffs on both Pokémon in Gen. VII won't make any difference. Masquerain's got buffs in both special attack and speed in Pokémon Sun and Moon; now, those make a difference. Not that there isn't any use for Volbeat, though: its hidden ability Prankster treats support moves as if they're priority moves, allowing Volbeat to lock the opponent into an undesirable move with Encore, set up with Tail Glow and pass on the special attack boost to another Pokémon by using Baton Pass. Alternatively, Volbeat is a passable weather setter, being able to use either Sunny Day or Rain Dance while holding a respective Heat Rock or Damp Rock to extend the duration of these moves. While Volbeat also has priority Thunder Wave to paralyze foes, Illumise is better off setting up a Substitute and Baton Pass it on to a bulkier Pokémon.

This comic strip by Rare Candy Treatment is funny
and sad at the same time. 
The reason I put these two Pokémon together in one single review, though, is because they are related. And I mean they're actually related by blood, or whatever you want to call it: when Illumise and Volbeat breed, there is an equal 50/50 chance that either Volbeat or Illumise hatch from the eggs they lay. Even when either Volbeat or Illumise breeds with Ditto, this chance stays the same. Their Pokédex entries also state the one can't live without the other, as Illumise emits a sweet fragrance to lure in swarms and Volbeat in order to lead them to draw geometric patterns in the sky. The Volbeat are able to work in unison because they communicate with each other by adjusting the intensity and flashing of their glowing tails. The more complex the designs in the sky, the greater the respect Illumise gets from its peers. In short, Volbeat and Illumise's flavor is as interesting as a football match... oh, pardon me, a soccer match. I hate all kinds of sports, so you figure out how interesting exactly I think a soccer match is. What is kind of fascinating, though, is the fact that both Volbeat and Illumise are based on fashion styles that were popular in the past. Volbeat's collar, black 'shirt' and striped belly 'undershirt' give it the appearance of a bōsōzoku - the more colorful Japanese counterpart of a greaser, a subculture that was popular among male adolescents in the 1950s - and even its pose may be a reference to greasers, as they are commonly shown with their hands either holding or popping the collars of their leather jackets. The style Illumise sports goes a little while back, as its curled bob and long black 'coat' or 'dress' might be references to flappers, a 1920s women's style.

Fun fact: flappers were often seen as brash for wearing excessive make-up, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving cars and otherwise flouting social and sexual norms. While 'flapper' was generally used to describe a young woman or teenage girl, it is derived from the derogatory slang word 'flap', which was used in England as early as 1631 to refer to a young prostitute. Goddamn.

Yes, this is indeed how Illumise and Volbeat are often depicted in fan art: in love.

Other than the historical fashion styles Volbeat and Illumise are based off of, I don't think these Pokémon are overly special. They even seem a little too awkwardly shaped to me, even though I don't hate their designs by any means. Like I said earlier, it's too bad that the one who has access to Tail Glow is Volbeat, so I think Game Freak could have at least switched up their physical attack and special attack stats. Other than that, I don't think these Pokémon deserve a bad rating and thus I'll reward them with 3 stars each.

P.S.: Has anyone heard of a Danish heavy metal band called Volbeat? Neither had I, until I needed images of Volbeat and Illumise and the only thing that popped up when I was searching for Volbeat on Google Images was this band I'm talking about. Huh. The band Volbeat has even been around longer than the Pokémon, because the former was founded in Copenhagen in 2001 and Ruby and Sapphire weren't a thing until late 2002.

Rating: 3/5

maandag 31 oktober 2016

#263 - #264: Zigzagoon & Linoone

Zigzagoon in TCG art.
Only after the dark types Poochyena and Mightyena we encounter the generic rodent of this generation, Zigzagoon. It's basically just a curious-natured raccoon or badger Pokémon with zigzaggy fur and the tendency to restlessly maneuver between things that have caught its interest in a zigzag fashion, hence its name. Its lowest stats are its attack and special attack, so it's not very strong, which is the reason why it often plays dead during battles to fool opponents. Bulbapedia states that Zigzagoon is based on a tanuki, or a Japanese raccoon dog, but they're often thought of as mischievous but gullible and absent-minded creatures, being pictured as tricksters, masters of disguise and shapeshifters. Zigzagoon is none of these things; it doesn't have a mischievous nature and its battle style sure as heck doesn't make it gullible or absent-minded. Aesthetically, it looks like an ordinary raccoon rather than a raccoon dog, too, so sometimes Bulbapedia just sells us a bunch of raccoon shit. Even its foreign names don't refer to raccoon dogs in the slightest; the Japanese word araiguma, the French raton and the Korean neoguri all mean 'raccoon' - just 'raccoon' - while the Japanese anaguma and the German Dachs both mean 'badger'. No raccoon dog bullshit to be found here.

Linoone hugging a Quilava. So sweet.
Zigzagoon evolves into Linoone fairly early on, though, and it's upon evolution that the badger aspect starts to make sense. While its name still refers to it being based on a raccoon, Linoone looks more like badger than Zigzagoon does, and it seems that weasel-like creatures such as the stripe polecat may have been the inspiration for Linoone's design as well. Linoone is faster than Zigzagoon, being able to run 60 miles p/h in a straight line. It has to stop before it can take a turn and due to that it often fails to catch prey. Again, Bulbapedia refers to a couple of legends that speak of weasel-like creatures, especially the ramidreju in Cantabrian mythology (Cantabria is a historical community located in the north of Spain) due to this creature's desire for gold and Linoone's obsession with round obects, but even these seem a little unconvincing. Zigzagoon and Linoone are nothing but your average, ordinary early-game rodents, and not even good ones at that when you compare them to the generic rodents of other generations. Raticate's hidden ability is Guts and it has recently even received a brand new Alola Forme set to appear in Pokémon Sun and Moon, which will drop in a few weeks; Furret is slightly bulkier and stronger than Linoone and is much, much more adorable; Bibarel may very well be one of the most disliked Pokémon out there, but its access to the Simple ability and the move Curse may make it a force to be reckoned with; (let's not address Watchog's competitive utility here); and Diggersby has acces to Huge Power as one of its abilities, along with STAB Earthquake, which is easily one of the most popular moves in the games.

Linoone locked in an embrace with Furret. And yes, I chose this
image mainly because it involves Furret. Any opportunity to
post an image with a Furret in it is a good opportunity, dammit!
And to add insult to injury, Smogon doesn't even provide any X and Y movesets for Linoone (or Gen VI in general). With a little thinking you could come up with a moveset yourself, but the only viable Linoone is one you evolved from a Zigzagoon with Extreme Speed obtained in Ruby and/or Sapphire or one you obtained from the Jump Festa event in Japan or the World Championships in Korea, which were both held in 2015. You'll have to pray it has an Adamant nature so you can make maximum use of Belly Drum, which is a move that maximizes its attack stat in exchange for half of its HP and works best when Linoone is holding a Sitrus Berry to gain back some health. It's a risky tactic and may not always work, but Extreme Speed allows Linoone to sweep pretty much everything but ghost-, rock- and steel-type Pokémon after a Belly Drum boost. As for the two remaining moveslots, Linoone does have a decent physical movepool: it has access to some nice moves like Play Rough, Seed Bomb, Shadow Claw, Gunk Shot, Iron Tail and even STAB Last Resort, which hits fucking hard after a Belly Drum boost but can only be selected after all other moves have been used.

Linoone is... alright, I guess? I'm pretty neutral towards it, to be honest, but I don't hate it by any means. It'll get a passing grade from me, if only because its capacity of learning handy field moves - including Surf, mind you - makes it a perfect HM slave. I'm sorry I don't have anything more exciting or spooky to review for Halloween, but I'm reviewing all Pokémon in numerical order and it was Linoone's turn today. By the way, we don't celebrate Halloween in the Netherlands, so I honestly couldn't care less. I just thought I'd mention it because it's all over my goddamn Twitter timeline. Jesus fucking Christ.

Rating: 3/5

woensdag 15 juni 2016

#194 - #195: Wooper & Quagsire

You know, I've never been quite sure what these Pokémon are supposed to represent, so this is an excellent moment to do some research on that.

Wooper trying to cool Magby down with a Water Gun after a
heated argument with two squabbling Pichu. This scene is from
a Pokémon side-story special. 
Okay, so Wooper seems to be based on the larval stage of an axolotl, especially considering the flat tail and the feathery external gills. I don't consider myself dumb, but I thought larvae were a bug thing and I hate it that I didn't know the primary stages of certain amphibians are called the same. I'm just sayin'. Anyway, axolotls are often called 'Mexican walking fish', but they're in fact salamanders and are thus amphibians. Wooper and Upah (ウパー) are derived from the Japanese marketing term wooper looper, which started a true fad involving raising pet salamanders. I can think of something much more fun, like collecting Pokémon cards or listening to music, but whatever floats your boat, I guess... Wooper looper is also the Japanese term used to refer to an axolotl, so go figure. Axolotls don't develop lungs and take to land, by the way; fully grown specimens remain aquatic and gilled instead. Wooper, however, is part ground type and is capable of going on land, but when it does so it creates a poisonous layer of goo to protect its body and keep it from dehydrating. It's better not to touch the film of slime, because doing so causes a shooting pain.

Quagsire. Heh. Quagsire looks very clever
here, but it's actually 'quite' unintelligent, as it
keeps colliding with things while swimming.
Quagsire is more of a giant salamander, and not even an axolotl at that. Quagsire is from 'quagmire' and 'sire', the latter being a honorific form of adress for someone of high social status, especially a king. This makes sense, as Quagsire's Japanese name Nuoh (ヌオー) contains numa, meaning swamp or marsh, and ō, meaning king. So basically, Quagsire is the King of the Swamp. I can name numerous better things to be king of, but at least it's something, right? Well, at 4'07" and 165.3 pounds, Quagsire is a huge-ass salamander thing, so it's probably also based on the Japanese giant salamander (ōsanshōuo) or just giant salamanders in general. These colossi can reach lenghts up to 5 feet and can weigh as much as 55 pounds, which is by far not as much as Quagsire's weight, but I wouldn't want to hold one of those creepy things in my arms, that's for sure. Not that that would be possible, as Quagsire has a slippery layer of skin that makes it very difficult to handle. It's also a very dim-witted and carefree Pokémon that keeps bumping things while swimming, like boulders and boat hulls, and doesn't even get very hungry because it doesn't move very often. While Ash's Pokédex claims Quagsire likes to make its nest in freshwater lakes, it can be found in the Great Marsh and Route 212 in Sinnoh (Diamond, Pearl and Platinum) and the marshland and wetland areas of the Safari Zone in Johto (HeartGold and SoulSilver), which are swampy areas. Kinda contradictory, but whatever. Wooper and Quagsire's classification as the 'Water Fish Pokémon' is also kinda erroneous, as axolotls and other salamanders are amphibians and not fish. Oh, well.

Old-ass official art of Quagsire, as always drawn by Ken
Sugimori. 
What Quagsire really excels in, though, is being bad. Not in the sense that it's terrible, but I can name several other Pokémon that could serve as a physical tank much better than Quagsire can. Gastrodon, for example, who has the same typing as Quagsire (water/ground) but has a better HP stat and a good special attack stat and is therefore more capable of serving as a tank on both sides of the spectrum while still doing some considerable damage. But let's assume you love Quagsire and you want to use it: I recommend slapping a Relaxed nature and its hidden ability Unaware on it.

Relaxed and Unaware; both fit Quagsire's personality perfectly, ha ha ha.

Anyway.

Invest in HP and defense, give it the Leftovers to hold for a little bit of recovery after every turn, and copose a moveset consisting of Scald, Toxic, Recover and Earthquake. Quagsire's special attack is actually really mediocre, but Scald has a chance to burn the foe and that enhances Quagsire's moderate physical bulk even more. Toxic is to inflict poison if burning the target isn't desirable, while Recover lets Quagsire heal half its HP and Earthquake is just a good move to deal damage with.

And that's it. I really don't know how else to use this thing. Like, an Adamant Choice Banded Quagsire? Heh, don't make me laugh. If you don't invest in HP and at least one defense stat, it'll be too frail to take a hit. And its design is kinda LOL, to be honest. It's just silly, although I have to say that both Wooper and Quagsire radiate a certain cuteness, so I guess I'll let them off with a 3-star rating. That should do it, right?

Rating: 3/5