#561: Sigilyph

Sigilyph as seen in TCG.

There's weird and there's weird, and today's Pokémon - whose name is apparently fucking hard to spell, because I keep typing its goddamn name wrong - falls into the latter category for sure. Sigilyph looks like some kind of totem pole made by an ancient civilization, which is backed by its Pokédex entries and the fact that it is found in the Desert Resort, an area in Unova with a lot of historical significance. The area - which, despite its name, is hardly a resort - is devided into two sections, the entrance and the desert itself, and Sigilyph can be found exclusively in the latter section at an encounter rate of only 5%. Aside from Zen Mode Darmanitan, who is a static encounter anyway, Sigilyph is the only Pokémon that can be found exclusively in the desert section of the Desert Resort. Of course, there's no historical importance to the likes of Sandile, Darumaka, Maractus, Dwebble and Scraggy, but it goes to show how rare Sigilyph actually is. In fact, Sigilyph seems to be thousands of years old and once guarded (and patrolled the boundaries of) an ancient city, and due to it retaining steadfast memories from that, it apparently flies along the same route it used to fly along back in the day while keeping watch for invaders. This is probably also why Sigilyph uses its psychic powers to attack anyone who dares invade its territory, which in turn suggests that all Sigilyph are primitive and habitual creatures in nature, doing only what they are told or programmed to do. If not man-made, Sigilyph is definitely alien, and its special relationship with the people from the ancient past - whether it has a long lifespan, telepathically passes on its memories to its kin or doesn't age at all; you could keep speculating about that - makes it a very interesting Pokémon.

Sigilyph and Natu. Both are avian creatures with the
psychic/flying type combination and Native American
origins.

It's not often that a surge of sudden originality rushes through the hallways of Game Freak's headquarters. Sigilyph seems to be mostly based on the Nazca Lines, a group of very large geoglyphs formed by depressions or shallow incisions made in the soil of the Nazca Desert in southern Peru, allegedly created for religious purposes between 1500 and 2500 years ago and hugely varying in shape and complexity. Hundreds of them are just simple lines and geometric shapes, but more than 70 are zoomorphic designs of animals such as a monkey, spider, condor, whale, heron, pelican and even a hummingbird, the latter of which was the obvious inspiration for Sigilyph's design judging by the elongated feathers and the two black three-toed 'forks' at the side of its spherical body. However, Sigilyph is actually so colorful and richly decorated that I don't think the Nazca Lines were the only inspiration for its design. Immediately, the other psychic/flying birds - Natu and Xatu - come to mind, and like them, Sigilyph may be based on kachina dolls. These are based on spirit beings in the religious beliefs of Native American cultures located in the southwestern part of the United States called the Pueblo people and often symbolize personifications of things in the real world. Due to Xatu and Sigilyph sharing the exact same type combination and pretty much the same origins as well, Sigilyph could be seen as a rehash of Xatu, but it is so drastically different from the latter in both design and flavor text that I am more than willing to let it slide.

Sigilyph chillin' with Unown in the ruins of Relic Castle, standing smack-dab in the
middle of Desert Resort.

In fact, this Pokémon bears some uncanny resemblances to another Gen. II Pokémon called Unown. Quite a few of Sigilyph's foreign names go the generic way with the inclusion of the word 'symbol' one way or another - although its Japanese name Symboler (シンボラー) refers to the bora, a northern to north-eastern katabatic wind (a wind that carries high-density air from a higher elevation down a slope under the force of gravity) in the Adriatic Sea, or even Ra, the ancient Egyptian deity of the sun - but its English and French names are a lot more clear-cut, with Cryptéro being derived from 'cryptogram', a symbol or figure with secret or occult significance. Additionally, a sigil is an inscribed or painted symbol held to have occult power in astrology or magic, referring to Sigilyph's psychic type, while a glyph is an elemental symbol within an agreed set of symbols, intended to represent a readable character for the purposes of writing and considered to be a unique mark that adds up to the spelling of a word or contributes to a specific meaning of what is written. Similarly, the term 'typography' is applied to the style, arrangement and appearance of the letters, numbers and other symbols created by the process of arranging type to make written language legible, readable and appealing when displayed. That's why Sigilyph bears so many similarities to Unown, who are based on the 26 letters of the Latin alphabet - as well as the exclamation mark and the question mark - and can be arranged in such ways that they spell words.

Sigilyph depicted as a statue of some kind of ancient
deity.

But while Unown are great Pokémon conceptually, their stats vary from really mediocre to downright terrible. Sigilyph, on the other hand, is reasonably fast and pretty offensive on the special side of the spectrum, while also being moderately bulky. It's not exactly a tank by any definition of the word, but it can live a few hits and definitely dish out a few hits as well. Combine Sigilyph's good special attack with a Timid nature and the fact that it doesn't take any passive damage - think of Stealth Rock damage, poison/burn damage, weather damage and Life Orb recoil - because it has access to one of the best abilities in the game, Magic Guard, and you'll have an amazing competitive Pokémon on your hands. On top of that, Sigilyph has an incredibly wide offensive movepool consisting of Psychic, Air Slash, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Heat Wave, Ice Beam, Flash Cannon, Dark Pulse, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and even Ancient Power, and you could choose whatever suits your needs. Roost and Calm Mind definitely will, because they allow Sigilyph to heal half of its maximum HP while losing its flying type for the remainder of the turn or raise its special stats by one stage each every time it's used. This Pokémon is speedy and bulky enough to rock some other support moves as well, though. Magic Guard honestly makes Sigilyph the best Pokémon out there to use Psycho Shift; just let it hold a Flame Orb or Toxic Orb so it gets burned or badly poisoned, respectively, and transfer the status condition onto the opposing Pokémon - a burn can be crippling, especially to physical attackers. Reflect and Light Screen can be used to raise your entire team's defenses, Thunder Wave and Hypnosis will definitely limit your opponent's movements, and Trick Room completely reverses the move order within each priority bracket so that slower Pokémon move first and faster Pokémon move last for a couple of turns. You'll have to take a more defensive approach in order to use these support moves effectively, but just throw Cosmic Power into the mix and your Sigilyph will be able to take more than just a few hits.

A shiny Sigilyph encounter in Ultra Space. Admittedly, it's a pretty good shiny.

I absolutely love creepy and bizarre Pokémon, especially intentionally bizarre Pokémon like Sigilyph. It looks like it has three eyes, but the eye on the head-shaped stalk seems to be its one true eye - again, just like Unown - as demonstrated by its in-game sprites, especially in Pokémon-Amie and Pokémon Refresh, as it's the only one that is animated to blink. It's true that Sigilyph borrows some elements that made similar Pokémon like Xatu and Unown so interesting in the first place, but it still maintains a good amount of originality. Its design and flavor are executed in a much better way than Xatu's, for example, and it's definitely much more useful in competitive than Unown. Game Freak took the origins of Xatu and the mystery surrounding Unown and greatly improved on them, making Sigilyph a relevant Pokémon on its own merits by giving it historical significance within the Unova lore.

P.S.: Now that we're talking about creepy and bizarre Pokemon... just wait until you meet the next ones on the list.

Rating: 5/5

#554 - #555: Darumaka & Darmanitan

I guess Darumaka's inability to be toppled over when asleep helps
it balancing a whole-ass fruit basket on its head - or berry basket,
rather.

These Pokémon are wild, yo.

Game Freak took the concept of a daruma doll - a round, traditional Japanese doll that is popular as a good-luck charm and is modeled after Bodhidharma, the founder of the Zen tradition of Buddhism - and made the Pokémon that is based on it the complete opposite of what most people think Zen Buddhism represents (calmness, peace and meditation, for example). When Darumaka's internal flame burns, it is incredibly energetic and active to the point that it cannot calm down and becomes uncontrollable, even though it isn't an aggressive Pokémon by nature. It even uses its droppings to dispose of excess heat; in fact, these droppings are so hot that people back in the day used to put them in their clothes to keep themselves warm, which... kind of grosses me out a little, to be honest. Holy shit, that's actually disgusting.

Thank God for central heating, amirite?

However, Darumaka's internal flame shrinks when it falls asleep, and when it does it tucks in its arms and legs and refuses to be tipped over no matter how much it is pushed or pulled. In this state, Darumaka resembles a daruma doll of the kind that cannot be knocked over due to its low center of gravity, like a roly-poly toy. Even Darumaka's fire typing is a reference to a practice called daruma-burning, in which all daruma dolls are brought back to the temple they were purchased from for a traditional burning ceremony that is held once a year, usually right after New Year's Day. After expressing gratitude to the dolls, people turn them over to the temple and buy new ones for the next year.

Promotional TCG art of Darmanitan. Those flaming eyebrows are
nothing short of fabulous.

But if you think Darumaka is interesting, you haven't seen anything yet. It's not necessarily Darumaka who's wild; it's its evolution Darmanitan who pulls out all the stops. To quote Chris from Pokémaniacal: "[...] if Darumaka is turned up to eleven, Darmanitan just plain blows up the meter." And goddamn, the dude is right. While Darumaka looks like a cute little monkey to some extent, Darmanitan's manic grin, big-ass fists and round, black-ringed eyes will make you be sure not to mess with it. This motherfucker just looks downright insane, and its Pokédex entries back that up: Darmanitan's internal fire burns at 2,500°F, making enough power so that one punch can destroy a dump truck. And if it can destroy a dump truck with one punch, surely a plane, a bridge or even a skyscraper wouldn't be a problem, either. However, to correspond with Darmanitan's origins regarding Zen charms and all that shit, Game Freak gave it a hidden ability called Zen Mode, which is also the name of the form Darmanitan takes on whenever one with this ability drops below half of its health - or as its Pokédex entries like to state: it transforms into a stone statue whenever it is injured in a fierce battle, only to sharpen its mind and fight on mentally. Zen Mode Darmanitan even seems to be based on the adage of the three wise monkeys - "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil", often used to refer to those who deal with impropriety by turning a blind eye - judging by the fact that Zen Mode Darmanitan have their eyes become blank (like on a real daruma doll), their mouths shut tightly and their ears covered, sitting patiently in contrast to their bold posture in Standard Mode. It may even be a direct reference to Bodhidharma, achieving enlightenment.

This also makes me realize that Simisage, Simisear and Simipour - all Pokémon that are based on the three wise monkeys - are actually really redundant considering Zen Mode Darmanitan was introduced in the exact same generation as them. Perhaps the elemental monkeys look more simian than Darmanitan does, but you can't deny it looks very ape-like; in fact, its name suggests that it is based on an orangutan, with its pre-evolution probably being based on a macaque.

N with... some of his Pokémon, I guess? Actually, I think this drawing is kind of
inaccurate; only Darmanitan was his, and he released it when in the Desert Resort.

But while Darmanitan is normally a physically offensive glass cannon, Zen Mode Darmanitan is a special tank that gets the psychic type added to it, has its power shifted from the physical to the special side of the spectrum and has to deliver some speed in exchange for a lot more bulk. The thing is that this doesn't work all that well, because it means you'll have to let your Darmanitan's health bar drop to less than 50% in the first place, leaving you with a slower (albeit bulkier) Pokémon with more than half of its HP missing. Not only is this not ideal, you'll have to start off with a Standard Mode Darmanitan using physical moves and continue with a Zen Mode Darmanitan using special moves halfway through, even though a Pokémon can only learn four different moves. It's one thing giving a certain Pokémon one special move for coverage purposes, it's another building a whole moveset for a Pokémon that revolves around two different strategies. It just doesn't work.

Darmanitan, stop monkeying around. I'm starting to think that
 Game Freak were right in giving you its Japanese and German
names of Hihidaruma (ヒヒダルマ) and Flampivian, which both
contain the word for 'baboon' in their respective language (hihi
and Pavian, respectively).

Fortunately, Zen Mode Darmanitan is only available if it's given its hidden ability. Darmanitan has only one regular ability, but it's an awesome one: Sheer Force adds more power to moves with additional effects (except for moves that have a higher crit ratio or affect the user negatively), which really compliments Darmanitan's monstrous base 140 attack stat. Along with decent base 95 speed, a Jolly or Adamant nature and a Life Orb, Choice Scarf or Choice Band as its held item, this juggernaut has the potential to destroy lives. Unfortunately, defense is not really Darmanitan's forte; its amazing HP stat doesn't do anything for its nonexistent defenses, while its best physical fire-type attack is Flare Blitz, which deals recoil damage. Combine these things and Darmanitan gets worn down really quickly. There's always the option to go for Fire Punch instead, but Flare Blitz is just more common in competitive because it's more powerful, so it's not recommended. Rock Slide and Earthquake don't always go well with a fire-type move, and U-Turn is only very common on Darmanitan to get it the hell off the battlefield in an unwanted situation while still doing damage, but it has a couple of nifty coverage moves up its sleeve: Hammer Arm and Superpower are solid fighting-type options and go well with Flare Blitz, while Zen Headbutt is an option if you feel threatened by certain fighting- and poison-type Pokémon, although Earthquake is generally better to deal with the latter.

This kind of fan art suits Darmanitan perfectly, and that makes me happy.

I absolutely fucking love Darmanitan. Its origins are beyond interesting, it has an incredibly savage personality, and its design is insanely over the top; it's a downright monstrosity and that's exactly what makes me love it so much. It's a shame that Game Freak couldn't properly implement its origins into its game mechanics, because Zen Mode Darmanitan ties in perfectly with this whole Zen theme Game Freak were going for, but in the end it doesn't matter: I love Darmanitan mainly for the monster that it is, even though it may be a tad bit overpowered in an in-game setting, which is, naturally, exactly why I used it so many times in playthroughs. This Pokémon is high up on my list of favorite Pokémon and I can't give it anything other than a rock-solid rating of 5 stars.

Rating: 5/5

#527 - #528: Woobat & Swoobat

As you can see, Woobat is kind of an oddball, having only a
mouth and a nose, and no eyes whatsoever. Or would they be
hidden beneath those tufts of fur?

A new region and a new Pokédex also meant a new bat species for us to make fun of and be annoyed by, so instead of Zubat and Golbat we got Woobat and Swoobat.

Goddamn, even their names sound similar...

However, whereas Zubat and Golbat are malicious and annoying little shits looking to poison and/or confuse every Pokémon the player character decides to send out, Woobat and its evolution Swoobat seem to be all about the power of love. It's not difficult to see why 'woo' (a synonym for ' to court') and 'swoon' (to be overcome by admiration or adoration) are the key words to form their names, because they have such a strong connotation with this love thing these Pokémon are apparently all about. Like the fluffy Honduran white bat it is based on, Woobat has a piggish nose, but Game Freak gave a little twist to it by making its nostril heart-shaped - a literal interpretation of the heart-nosed bat, even though Woobat doesn't seem to resemble this species aesthetically. Woobat's nostril is used to produce ultrasonic waves for echolocation and also enables it to stick to cave walls when asleep, leaving a heart-shaped mark behind. If Woobat has been attached to a person's body, this mark is said to bring good fortune.

Swoobat and its kin chillin' at a graveyard, which isn't such a loving thing to do, in
my opinion. In fact, them smiling while hovering over people's graves is actually
pretty creepy. I guess they're not better than Zubat and Golbat after all. 

Swoobat, on the other hand, takes this whole courting thing - it is known as the 'Courting Pokémon' after all - a little bit too far. Not only its nostril is heart-shaped, the nose itself has the shape of a heart as well, and it can be used by courting male Swoobat to produce ultrasonic waves that can make people experience a positive mood shift. Its German name Fletiamo even contains the Italian phrase ti amo, meaning 'I love you'. In contrast, all Swoobat are able to emit multi-frequency sound waves that can become powerful enough to reduce rocks and even concrete to rubble. Swoobat's tail shakes vigorously when it produces these kinds of waves, so they're easy to see coming.

Another instance of a Trainer copying their Pokémon. This type
of art seems to be very popular around the web. 

You know what's also easy to see coming? Swoobat's strategy in competitive battles. Not that I'd recommend using it, because its best stat after its base 114 speed is its base 77 special attack, which is... very, very mediocre. Yikes. Fortunately, Swoobat isn't a complete letdown, as it has access to the amazing ability Simple - which doubles its stat changes - as well as the eloquent Calm Mind. This moves usually raises the special attack and special defense stats by one stage each every time it is used, but Simple allows Swoobat to raise these stats by two stages after every use. A moveset consisting of Calm Mind, Roost, Air Slash and Psychic isn't uncommon, and Psychic could even be replaced by Stored Power, a move that starts at a power of 20 and adds another 20 for every positive stat change on Swoobat. After just one Calm Mind, Stored Power has a power of 100, which is better than Psychic's base power of 90, although the latter is inarguably better when Swoobat doesn't have any stat changes on it. It literally comes down to preference, really, especially since one of Swoobat's STAB moves (preferably Air Slash) could easily be replaced by one of many neat coverage moves it has access to, including Shadow Ball, Giga Drain, Energy Ball, Heat Wave, Hidden Power, Signal Beam and even Shock Wave. As for natures, a Timid nature raises the speed stat and makes Swoobat a bit faster, while a Modest nature raises its special attack and makes it hit a little bit harder. You'd probably want the former, so that you don't get surprised by a certain Pokémon outspeeding your Swoobat. I do advise you to have Swoobat hold a Focus Sash in order to provent it from being OHKOed by any type of physical move, although Smogon strangely recommends a Salac Berry set, to make its speed stat increase in a pinch. To each their own, I guess.

GIF of Swoobat in the anime, emitting heart-shaped sound waves in order to
'woo' a Deerling.

At least it's a quick way to create a set-up sweeper, although you should ask yourself whether it's really worth it. Even after a Calm Mind, Swoobat doesn't hit awfully hard, and there are much better Pokémon that can make use of Calm Mind, even without this move being boosted by Simple. I like Swoobat well enough, though, and I'd even dare say it's cute to some extent, which can probably be attributed to it being inspired by fruit bats rather than the more daunting vampire bats Zubat and its evolutions seem to be based on. If only the Simple ability was available normally in-game, I'd definitely use it, but Simple is Swoobat's hidden ability and I absolutely refuse to run through the game with a Swoobat that has Klutz. It won't be affected by any of the opponent's positive stat changes if it has Unaware, which seems nice, but I really want my Pokémon to hit a little bit harder, and Simple provides just that. Alas, Swoobat has fallen into the realm of forgetfulness and it won't get out of there for the life of it.

But it's a fluffy bat; what more do you want?

Rating: 4/5

#517 - #518: Munna & Musharna

Alright, so I was thinking I should shorten my reviews down significantly, giving you a brief summary of a Pokémon's origins and flavor and only mentioning its most common Smogon competitive set instead, but I know that would leave me greatly unsatisfied in the end. I will continue writing my reviews as I have done in the past three years, so perhaps you should get used to a less frequent posting schedule. At least I'll try not to take a two-month hiatus anymore, okay?

Munna, who has one of the simplest designs ever in Pokémon.

Having said that, the Kanto rip-offs really start with today's Pokémon. Purrloin and Liepard may be distantly based on Meowth and Persian - and only when it comes to their malignant personalities - but Munna and Musharna share much of their origins with Drowzee and Hypno. They seem to be based on traditional Japanese incense burners called koro, which are used in traditional tea ceremonies and have been developed to be used with insect repellent incense nowadays. These incense are often shaped like a pig and are richly decorated with all kinds of patterns painted on them, including the floral patterns that can be found on Munna - whose existence was even hinted upon in the very first Pokémon games, with an NPC stating that the Pokémon in the Rock Tunnel area are too chunky and that, quote unquote, 'there should be a pink one with a floral pattern!' The whole censer thing falls in line with Munna's ability to eat the dreams of people and Pokémon and project these dreams by expelling Dream Mist. This mist - which in Musharna's case is continually emanating from the mark on its forehead and can be used to create shapes of things from dreams it has eaten - will be pink-colored if the dream was pleasant, but Munna can seek out and cure people and Pokémon who are having nightmares, as someone whose dream was eaten by Munna will forget its contents. Musharna seems to distinguish dreams more adeptly, as the Dream Mist coming from its forehead changes into many different colors depending on the dream that was eaten.

That is probably why Fennel wanted the Dream Mist emanated by Musharna to finish her research on the Game Sync function of the C-Gear, a device that absolutely nobody in the entire world has ever used except to access the online single-player game called the Dream World, where wild Pokémon with their hidden abilities could be caught. You had to create an account at Pokémon.com (for international players) or the Pokémon Daisuki Club (for Japanese players) in order to get access to it, and at a certain point in time, players were given only one hour every 20 hours to explore the Dream World due to the large number of people accessing the site at the same time.

I never knew a Musharna plushie could be so cute, despite the
notion that its curled-up appearance is similar to that of a fetus
and the Dream Mist coming from its forehead looks like an
umbilical cord.

In any case, as Munna and Musharna seem to share some inspiration from the myth of the baku (fun fact: according to Google, Baku is - first and foremost - the capital and largest city of Azerbaijan), a tapir-like creature known for eating dreams, this is where Drowzee and Hypno come in. Pokémon Sun goes as far as to give Drowzee a Pokédex entry that states it is thought to share common ancestry with Munna and Musharna, indicating that the latter are, in fact, blatant rip-offs. As it was Game Freak's intention to sort of reboot the franchise with Black and White, it makes sense for them to hark back to some of their early designs, but Munna and Musharna are just different enough from Drowzee and Hypno to justify their existence. Even if you disagree with that, at least Drowzee's Sun entry is a nice attempt from Game Freak to rectify that. As for Munna and Misharna's names, they're derived almost entirely from Japanese, being a combination of mu ('dream') and mushamusha (onomatopoeia for eating, as they eat dreams) with a little bit of the Latin word for 'moon', luna, thrown into the mix. Additionally, there is a term/concept in the Japanese martial art aikido called munen or mushin, referred to as the state of no-mindness or no-thought, where the conscious mind becomes instinctual - which is a large part of what dreams are like - and isn't preoccupied by other thoughts. It seems a little farfetched, as Munna and Musharna are pretty motionless as is, but this martial arts term sounds an awful lot like their names.

Also, additional points to Game Freak for including the word 'yum!' (mjam!) in Munna's German name Somniam.

Musharna in the middle, with its kin sleeping on the Dream Mist
it is emanating. In the top left corner you can even see a
Drowzee trying to blend in with the rest of its alleged common
ancestors.

Last but not least, there is the question whether Musharna can hold its own in a competitive battle. Well, despite it being bulky as fuck, it was dropped to the lowest Smogon tier possible (PU) simply for the fact that it's not a very popular Pokémon to use. However, Base 116 HP and base 85 and 95 defense and special defense, respectively, are absolutely nothing to sneeze at and could make Musharna an excellent bulky pivot with Baton Pass, Moonlight, a STAB psychic-type move and either Thunder Wave or Toxic. Protect is an excellent move in order to scout what the opponent is going to do, while Heal Bell heals all status conditions inflicted on your Pokémon in battle, Magic Coat bounces any status move back to the opponent, Sleep Talk can be used most effectively in combination with Rest, and Reflect and Light Screen provide for some additional bulk to your entire team. Calm Mind - which raises the special attack and special defense stats by one stage each upon use - can be an option to make use of Musharna's excellent base 107 special attack, especially since it's able to learn a wide variety of special attacks. These include Psychic and Psyshock, but also type coverage moves like Dazzling Gleam, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Signal Beam, any type of Hidden Power and even Shock Wave and Charge Beam. Moonlight is basically required on any Musharna set, since it provides reliable HP recovery, so just pick a STAB move and one type coverage move that you feel is necessary in your upcoming battle. Just be aware that some moves can only be learned by Munna because of it being a stone evolution (in this case, Munna evolves into Musharna by exposing it to a Moon Stone).

Because Calm Mind raises Musharna's special defense and its base defense is lower anyway, I'd go for a Bold nature for it to take physical hits better, of course supported by the Leftovers as its held item. If you're really scared of a possible incoming dark-type attack, a Colbur Berry isn't a bad option at all. Some sets suggest a Life Orb or Choice Specs for offensive utility, but since Musharna is slower than molasses in January and has to take a hit first, that's asking for trouble. As for abilities, the only useful one in singles is Synchronize, which inflicts the same status condition to the opponent as Musharna was inflicted with by the opponent in the very same turn.

Some more amazing Musharna fan art,

As you're all probably aware of by now, I am not the biggest fan of Pokémon that look fat. To me, Musharna falls into that category; and even though its origins and flavor are interesting enough, they're so blatantly ripped off of Drowzee and Hypno's not-so-signature characteristcs that I wish Game Freak had put a little bit more effort into these 'new' Pokémon. I don't hate Munna and Musharna by any means, and their designs are totally unlike Drowzee and Hypno's, which I can appreciate, but they're by far my least favorite Pokémon introduced in the fifth generation. Still, if my least favorite Unova Pokémon gets three stars, you know what's in store for the rest of the Unova roster.

Rating: 3/5

#494: Victini

Victini about to blast off a Fusion Flare. This move
usually cannot be learned by Victini, as it's the
signature move of Reshiram, which is why Game
Freak made it an event-only move.

It feels strange ending the fourth generation on such a negative note, but even stranger is the fact that we're starting off Gen. V - my personal favorite generation in terms of Pokémon, gameplay features and storyline - with a mythical Pokémon instead of the usual grass-type starter. Like all so-called 'pixie' Pokémon, Victini is supposed to be cute and iconic, and I think Game Freak have done a fine job at that. The way Victini is implemented into the game comes across as quite odd, however. It could actually be obtained very early on in the main storyline through an event, by simply claiming the Liberty Pass that allows you to travel to Liberty Garden upon arriving in Castelia City and catch Victini hiding in the lighthouse standing smack-dab in middle of the island. It was at level 15, which should have been a couple of levels below the player's Pokémon and therefore it was perfectly viable to add to any in-game team. Of course, as Victini is a legendary it couldn't just incautiously be added among the peasant Unova Pokémon, which is why it got number 000 in the regional Pokédex and thus comes before Snivy, Servine and Serperior. It really doesn't make sense for Victini to come first in the Unova Pokédex, though; Pokémon Black and White saw the first time in which only the 150 normally available debuting Pokémon could be used throughout the main storyline, as Landorus and Kyurem weren't available until post-game and the other four - including Victini - are event Pokémon, and Victini could have easily been put somewhere at the end of the Dex. No biggie. But here I am, reviewing this Pokémon while I really wanted to be done with all these legendaries for a good while, especially after the disappointment that is Arceus.

A whole horde of Victini enjoying a full basket of macarons.
I don't know where the hell they got those from, but our local
supermarket here in the Netherlands asks €5,- for just ten or
twelve of these tiny motherfuckers. They're like the caviar of
confectionery, goddamn.

Unlike Arceus, though, Junichi Masuda's favorite Pokémon seems to be a bit more straightforward when it comes to its design and origins. Aesthetically, it seems to be based on usagi-ringo, a method of cutting apple slices to make them look similar to rabbits, while conceptually it might draw inspiration from the Greek winged goddess Nike and its Roman equivalent Victoria, both representing victory. I am not surprised Victini draws inspiration from these particular goddesses; it is a legendary, it is classified as the 'Victory Pokémon', it has a unique ability called Victory Star - which increases the accuracy of moves used by the user and its allies by 10% of their original accuracy - and it even possesses two wing-like tails that allow it to fly. Its pointed ears form the letter V, which might very well be a reference to the generation it was introduced in as well. Victini is usually a timid and caring Pokémon, although it will fight if its friends are in danger. Additionally, it is said to bring victory to Trainers that befriend it, producing an infinite amount of energy within itself and sharing this energy with others by touch. It can even become invisible, as demonstrated in Pokémon the Movie: White - Victini and Zekrom and Pokémon the Movie: Black - Victini and Reshiram. These two movies follow a similar plot with some major and minor changes, notably the Pokémon that appear and Resiram and Zekrom swapping roles as the main focus of the film.

Black and White promotional art for the Victini you
can catch in the lighthouse in Liberty Garden. 

When it comes to competitive play, Victini is one of the better mythical Pokémon to use on an offensive team. Like all other 'pixie' Pokémon it has base 100 stats across the board, which allows you to go several different ways with it, although it has to be said that an offensive approach is very much recommended. The reason I'm saying that is because Victini has a crazy powerful move in its arsenal: V-create. This event-exclusive fire-type move has a base power of 180, which makes it the third most powerful move in the game after Self-Destruct and Explosion. It does have the negative effect of lowering the user's defense, special defense and speed stats, but this could easily be solved by giving Victini a White Herb to hold or by simply switching it out for another Pokémon on your team. V-create is a must-have STAB move on a physical-based Victini, as is Zen Headbutt, and a Jolly or Adamant nature allows it to make great use of a Choice Band or Choice Scarf, respectively. Some neat physical coverage moves are Brick Break, Bolt Strike/Fusion Bolt (both are event-exclusive), Thunder Punch and U-Turn, but that's pretty much all Victini has to work with. Victini's special attack is as good as its attack, and its special movepool is honestly so much better, with STAB moves like Searing Shot, Fire Blast, Psychic, Psyshock and Blue Flare/Fusion Flare (again, both are event-only moves) and amazing coverage in Thunder, Thunderbolt, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and even Glaciate (also event-exclusive). Special sets would have been much more prevalent in competitive if it weren't for V-create, but they're not terrible by any means and work well with a Modest or Timid nature in combination with the Choice items I mentioned before. A Life Orb can be used as well, on either a physical- or special-based moveset, and is recommended over a Choice item should you go with a mixed Victini instead.

Lastly, Smogon mentions a Timid set with the move Celebrate. Normally, this move doesn't do anything in battle - deal damage, boost stats, hinder the opponent, etc. - but powered up with Normalium Z it boosts all of Victini's stats by one stage each. This allows Victini to use Stored Power afterwards, a 20-power move that increases by 20 for each positive stat change the user has in any stat, doing a considerable 120 power after a Z-Celebrate boost. It's a little gimmicky and requires impeccable timing during a match, but if you can make this set work... well, more power to you. I would advise you to just go with one of the sets I mentioned earlier, though.

TCG art of Victini.

I like Victini well enough, but I've honestly never used it during a playthrough, really. Even stupid 20-year-old me couldn't figure out how to connect to the Internet with my Nintendo DS Lite - luckily I could around the time X and Y came out - and so I wasn't able to obtain Victini in the first place. While I haven't been able to warm up to it by carrying it around in my team, I must say that factors like its design, cuteness, flavor and competitive utility still made me give it 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#488: Cresselia

Cresselia radiates an air of beauty and grace.

Legendary Pokémon are relatively popular in general, and Cresselia is actually no different, but this Pokémon is annoying for two simple reasons. The first is that it's usually a roaming Pokémon in the Gen. IV games, which makes it a bitch to find and a bitch and a half to catch, as it has the tendency to run away one turn after it appears. Indeed, you'll have to come prepared if you're hunting for this thing and immediately put it to sleep with Spore or prevent it from fleeing with Mean Look. The second reason why Cresselia is annoying is its competitive usage, because its amazing base 120 HP as well as its base 120 defense and 130 special defense make it a tough cookie to crack. With a Calm or Bold nature you can crank up Cresselia's defenses even more (especially when you invest the right amount of EVs in the right stats), while the Leftovers heal it a little bit at the end of every turn. For more durability on the battlefield, most Cresselia have a moveset consisting of at least Moonlight, Toxic and maybe also Protect, while a move like Psychic provides excellent STAB damage in case of emergency. At least it needs something to attack with, right? Substitute might be a better option instead of Protect, while Reflect and Light Screen extend its longevity on the battlefield even further and Lunar Dance lets it faint in favor of fully recovering the Pokémon that is sent out after Cresselia.

And as Cresselia is tanky enough already, you could run an offensive set consisting of Calm Mind, Psychic, Moonblast and Ice Beam - Shadow Ball, Energy Ball and Signal Beam are good options as well, depending on what you need - although a Modest nature is surely recommended because of Cresselia's mediocre base 75 special attack. Boosting its special attack and special defense with Calm Mind every turn will definitely pay off in the end, though.

Cresselia engulfed in undulating light, while Darkrai is looking
on in darkness.

But Cresselia is ultimately more interesting in terms of design, origins and overall flavor. This Pokémon shares characteristics with the Sarimanok, a legendary fowl of the Maranao people who originate from Mindanao, one of the most southern islands - and the second largest at that - in the Philippines. This bird, whose name derives from sari ('cloth' or 'garment') and manok ('chicken'), has become an ubiquitous symbol or Maranao art and is often depicted with colorful wings, a feathered tail and a profusely decorated head. It is said to be a symbol of good fortune. Furthermore, the constellation Cygnus derives its name from the Latinized Greek word for 'swan', and considering Cresselia's crescent moon motif and the aurora-colored planetary rings around its body, it is more than possible Cygnus has been an inportant inspiration for Cresselia. While it's true that Cresselia looks very swan-like, it is mainly based on the shape of the crescent moon (its name may have even been inspired by Selene, the Greek goddess of the moon) and makes up one half of the Lunar Duo, the other being Darkrai. Darkrai is said to induce nightmares in people, however, while Cresselia is known to prevent or cure them, which manifests itself in the games by having the player cure a Sailor's son with the Lunar Wing found on Crescent Isle. What's more, those who sleep holding Cresselia's feather are assured of joyful dreams.

Shiny Cresselia is absolutely gorgeous!

And that's exactly why I like Cresselia more than the other half of the Lunar Duo. Don't get me wrong; Darkrai seems like an interesting enough Pokémon, but its design is weird and I am not usually drawn to Pokémon that tend to be portrayed as purely evil. There's a certain movie that actually contradicts that, but I'll talk about that when it's Darkrai's time to shine on this blog. The main reason why I love Cresselia so much is its design. In my opinion, Game Freak went out of their way to make it as graceful and beautiful as it could be. I would compliment them on Cresselia's shiny as well, if it weren't for the fact that from Gen. II to Gen. V shinies were created by simply letting the game's code switch up a Pokémon's color palette until they got a decent-looking shiny, while truly handmade shinies didn't appear until the sixth generation. I won't deviate from the topic by nitpicking too much about whether or not Game Freak is fully responsible for creating Cresselia's shiny, because at the end of the day it is still one of the most gorgeous shinies I have ever seen (the purple definitely helps!), but I just thought I'd mention it. If you look past its annoying catching method, Cresselia is just an amazing Pokémon overall - design- and flavor-wise as well as competitively. It may be one of the most average Pokémon out there when it comes to offense, but there is an excellent move that can fix that to some extent and it's still one of the best tanky support Pokémon to use in the competitive metagame.

Holy shit, because I barely even use it I never realized how much I really love this Pokémon.

Rating: 5/5

#482: Azelf

I don't know about you, but I think Azelf is pretty cute.

Azelf looks like the default design the other Lake Guardians were drawn from, but at the same time its cyan face and its minimalistic design - along with its cuteness and competitive prowess - make it the most memorable of the three. It was also the first and only Lake Guardian I captured and used on my team along with Dialga (yeah, I have no problem with using legendaries on my in-game teams), and I was honestly impressed by its strength. This is no surprise, as this azure elf is actually known as 'the Being of Willpower' and is said to have given humans the determination to do things, keeping the world in balance from the bottom of Lake Valor. Some say that whoever harms or injures it will become unable to perform any kind of action after seven days, losing all will inside of them and staying completely immobile for all eternity. Unsurprisingly, Azelf is based on the last of the Imperial Regalia of Japan, the Kusanagi no Tsurugi, which is a sword that represents the primary virtue of valor. Its Japanese name Agnome (アグノム) seems to contradict that, as it is probably derived from 'agnosticism', which is from the Greek word for 'knowledge', gnôsis (γνῶσις); and as we've all found out, that is Uxie's thing. Azelf's Japanese name also suggests it's a gnome, but that isn't surprising in the least, as Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf's English names are plays on 'pixie', 'sprite' and 'elf', respectively. There are a lot of tiny folkloric creatures to base a Pokémon on, such as fairies, gnomes and leprechauns and the like, so at least Game Freak wouldn't have run out of ideas in that regard.

Look at Azelf adorably holding onto its Life Orb!

As I mentioned before, Azelf is best known for its glass-cannon function in competitive play. It boasts some amazing base 125 attack and special attack as well as an excellent base 115 speed stat, making it faster and stronger than both Uxie and Mesprit by a significant margin. It is quite frail, though, and as a result it is barely able to take a hit. Fortunately, you can turn Azelf's speed and power to your advantage by giving it a Choice Scarf, so that it gets an immediate speed boost once it's switched in. Give it a Modest nature (rather than a Timid one, mind you), which allows you to max out its special attack and teach it a full moveset of crazy powerful special moves. With moves like Psychic, Psyshock, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Energy Ball and Signal Beam you are spoiled for choice. Alternatively, a moveset accompanied by a Timid nature and the Choice Specs isn't a terrible option, either. One move Azelf has access to and the other Lake Guardians don't learn - at least not to my knowledge - is Nasty Plot, a move that raises Azelf's special attack by a whopping two stages every time it's used. Teach it this move and you can run a Timid nature and a Life Orb. Azelf's speed even makes it a decent suicide lead, which mostly means it's running a support moveset consisting of Stealth Rock, Taunt, Knock Off and Explosion - the last of which is mainly used when you don't need Azelf anymore and sacrifice it by letting it blow up in your opponent's face. When using a support set on Azelf like that, people run a Jolly nature on it most of the time so that its attack stat isn't hindered, while a Focus Sash prevents Azelf from getting OHKOed by a strong offensive move - if Azelf is still at full HP, that is.

3D art of Azelf.

Even though letting Azelf serve as a suicide lead is a waste of its potential in my opinion, it does show how versatile this adorable little shit can be. It is by far my favorite of the Lake Guardians, that's for sure, only because the simplicity of its design makes it the cutest and most aesthetically pleasing of the three. To me, it is the most memorable and the most competitively viable, which is why I am giving it a near-perfect rating of 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#481: Mesprit

Mesprit making a big splash.

Mesprit may be the second Lake Guardian in the National Pokédex, but it is the most unique in that it doesn't just stay in place when you interact with it in order to catch it; it leaves its cavern in Lake Verity and becomes a roaming legendary, much like Raikou, Entei and Suicune in Gold, Silver and Crystal and Latias/Latios in Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. It's quite fitting for a legendary Pokémon that is called 'the Being of Emotion', said to have endowed the human heart with sorrow, pain, joy and all kinds of other emotions. It is no surprise, then, that Mesprit seems to be based on one of the Imperial Regalia of Japan (also known as the Three Sacred Treasures) called the Yasakani no Magatama, a jewel that represents the primary virtue of benevolence. I would think such an emotional being like Mesprit is restive; and true enough, its spirit is said to leave its body and flitter on the water surface of Lake Verity, while rumor has it that a person who touches it will have their emotions completely drained away after three days, much like Uxie will wipe out the memory of whoever sees its eyes. Mesprit's name makes sense as well, being derived from the French esprit ('spirit'), although it could have an ambiguous meaning: 'sprite' is derived from the Latin spiritus via the French esprit, but it is generally a term used to describe a fairy- or elf-like entity, exactly like Uxie's name is derived from 'pixie' and Azelf's from 'elf'.

This looks like TCG box art, but I could be wrong on that matter.

Competitively, Mesprit is kind of an oddball. It has very good base 105 attack, defense, special attack and special defense stats and a more-than-decent base 80 HP stat to back up those excellent defenses. Here's the catch, though: it is by far not as bulky as Uxie, it is nowhere near as strong as Azelf and it is honestly the slowest of the bunch, which means it isn't as fast as you'd like it to be. An offensive Calm Mind set is one of the better sets Mesprit can run, as it buffs up its special attack and special defense by one stage each, making it more specially oriented. It's a versatile Pokémon move-wise, as it has access to a strong STAB Psychic as well as some nifty coverage moves like Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and Energy Ball, all special moves that become much stronger after a Calm Mind or two. A Timid or Modest nature and a Colbur Berry, a Life Orb or some kind of Z-Crystal work best on such a set, although the Leftovers work well in combination with both Substitute and Calm Mind. Mesprit could even run four offensive moves and a Choice item. I would pass on a defensive set, as Mesprit isn't overly bulky in the first place and you can just use Uxie to set up Stealth Rock, Sunny Day or Rain Dance or what have you. Mesprit can take some hits for sure, and it'll have some longevity on the field due to Leftovers, but Uxie is just much better-suited for the role of bulky support Pokémon. However, Mesprit has one trick up its sleeve that Uxie doesn't have as far as I'm concerned: Healing Wish. This move makes Mesprit faint, but it can be used when it's worn out in order to completely heal up another Pokémon on your team.

3D art of Mesprit.

I have to say that Mesprit is my least favorite of the Lake Guardians. Aesthetically it looks the goofiest, with the weird dreads hanging from its head, and competitively it is outclassed defensively by Uxie and offensively by Azelf. Also, Mesprit is a roaming legendary and is therefore much harder to find than its fellow Lake Guardians - and to make matters worse, it has a tendency to run away almost immediately should you so happen to run into this thing, which means you'll have to immobilize it by putting it to sleep or paralyze it in order for you to catch it. Unless you're actually actively hunting this thing, you'll never be entirely prepared for that shit. Also, I'm not the biggest fan of pink Pokémon; the only ones that got 5 stars from me so far are Mew and Granbull, while Pokémon like Ditto, Gorebyss, Lickilicky, Luvdisc and Mr. Mime are among the 20 lowest ratings on this blog. The rest are just okay, and Mesprit is no different.

Rating: 3.5/5

#480: Uxie

So now we've come to the first legendary Pokémon in the Sinnoh Pokédex, being Uxie, one of the Lake Guardians. Mesprit and Azelf are aesthetically similar to Uxie, but these three Pokémon are not as similar as, say, Latios and Latias are and they each boast different Pokédex entries as well as competitive strategies.

3D art of Uxie.

To start off, Uxie and its fellow Lake Guardians are the first legendary trio to play a significant part in the storyline of Pokémon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, as Team Galactic's boss Cyrus uses the crystals extracted from their tails and heads to create the Red Chain and contain either Dialga or Palkia - or both, as seen in Platinum, only for his plans to be thwarted by Giratina - so as not to reduce their power by capturing them in a Poké Ball. Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf even guide you through the Strength puzzle in the Distortion World in Platinum, and along with them being the source of the Red Chain this makes them probably the most important legendary trio in any storyline in the Pokémon franchise so far - and that's excluding the individual escapades of Suicune in Crystal and (to a lesser extent) Tapu Koko in Sun and Moon.

This artist has certainly made the Lake Guardians more kawaii.

Uxie looks to be the most serene one of the Sinnoh legendary trio. Known as 'the Being of Knowledge' and the guardian of Lake Acuity, it is said that its emergence gave humans the intelligence necessary to solve various problems and the wisdom to improve the quality of their lives, while those who see Uxie's eyes will have their memory wiped out by it. These characteristics, as well as its name, imply that it has the power to foresee the future: Uxie and Yuxie (ユクシー) both derive from yukusaki ('future'), chishiki ('knowledge') and 'pixie', indicating that it has the knowledge to see the future... or something like that. At least Uxie is a psychic-type Pokémon, so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that was actually true. The most interesting part about this Pokémon, however, is that it and the rest of the trio seem to have originated from another Japanese legend called the Imperial Regalia of Japan. Also called the Three Sacred Treasures, these regalia represent the three primary virtues of valor, wisdom and benevolence. I'll talk about the other two in Mesprit and Azelf's entries, but the artifact that Uxie seems to be based on is a mirror called the Yata no Kagami, representing wisdom and honesty. It seems to blend in perfectly with Uxie's design and Pokédex entries, and even its competitive utility to some degree.

This dreamy piece of Uxie fan art looks amazing!

Uxie is a serene and patient creature that likes to depend on its knowledge and wisdom, and I imagine it being some kind of pacifist. Therefore, this Pokémon seems to focus more on defense rather than offense, as is reflected by its base stats: its defense and special defense are both 130, backed up by a decent 75 HP stat, while its attack and special attack are both a mediocre 75 (yes, there's a difference between the base HP stat and the other base stats, but I don't know how this is calculated). With base 95 speed, Uxie is even quite fast, which is a rarity among tanky support Pokémon. It's incredibly passive, though, and it's really only viable when sporting Trick Room (reverses priority brackets, which means slower Pokémon move first unless a priority move is used on them) or a move that can set up sunny or rainy weather. Before doing that, however, you have the option to let Uxie set up Stealth Rock and/or kill itself with Memento, lowering the opposing Pokémon's attack and special attack by two stages while it's at it. Suspect a Stealth Rock coming your way? Uxie can learn Magic Coat, which bounces certain status moves back to the user. Yawn and Thunder Wave are options in order to inflict a status condition on the foe, while Skill Swap is a gimmicky and risky option that lets Uxie swap its ability Levitate with the target's ability. Unnecessary and unpredictable, if you ask me. You should at least teach Uxie one offensive move of its own type, preferably Psychic or Psyshock, so that it's not completely passive - and to prevent it from being Taunt bait, you could give it the Mental Herb, even though the Leftovers are generally better for longevity on the field alongside its defensive nature (Bold and Calm are the best ones, although Relaxed and Sassy work best when it's running Trick Room). U-Turn is an option, but it's quite weak on Uxie and perhaps you're just better off hard-switching out into another Pokémon.

I like this sassy fan art of Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf. 

It stands to reason that Uxie is not an easy Pokémon to use on a competitive team - and also not the most obvious tank - so maybe beginners should stay away from it until they have some experience in competitive battling. The fact that it is in one of the lower Smogon tiers doesn't help either, because that pretty much means that there are far better bulky support Pokémon than Uxie out there. Fortunately, it's still there forming an interesting trio with Mesprit and Azelf, who will have their turn being reviewed by me in the coming week. I love Japanese myths and stories, and these three being based on the Three Sacred Treasures really helps amp up their ratings, as they're honestly a little bland design-wise. Objectively seen, Uxie is the most interesting one aesthetically and flavor-wise, with its eyes that are constantly closed, but for other reasons Azelf is my favorite. That is exactly why I can't give Uxie a rating higher than 4 stars, although that isn't bad by any means.

Rating: 4/5

#436 - #437: Bronzor & Bronzong

This fan art of Bronzor is very... radiating.

Due to my recent love for steel types - recent being three years or so - I have come to appreciate Bronzor and Bronzong much more than I initially did. In fact, I didn't like these Pokémon at all when Diamond and Pearl were released. They looked weird, served no purpose and were just some cheap Metagross rip-offs in my eyes, just because of their steel/psychic typing (please note that I didn't particularly like Metagross in the beginning, either). You could just catch Bronzor in the wild with no explanation given; except for its Pokédex entries there's no lore behind it whatsoever, and there were no researchers in the overworld trying to explain Bronzor and Bronzong's existence - not that I know of, anyway. It wasn't until years later that I realized there was still a whole lot of mystery surrounding these Pokémon, even though the mystery wasn't necessarily to be found in the overworld. Implements shaped like Bronzor were found in ancient tombs, and it is unknown whether Bronzor are man-made objects come to life or said objects were just inspired by Bronzor's appearance at the time. It is likely the former, as Bronzor is based on a dōkyō, a bronze mirror; and sure enough, Pokémon researchers believe this Pokémon reflected like a mirror in the past, even though x-ray photos that were taken to check its body structure didn't yield any results.

But if so little is known about Bronzor, how do contemporary scientists know that ancient people believed that the herb-shaped crest on its back was imbued with a mysterious power? Do they have a special arrangement with Celebi or something?

Bronzong in TCG.

Anyway, Bronzor's evolution Bronzong isn't just a disc-shaped entity. It is based on a dōtaku instead, a Japanese bell smelted from relatively thin bronze. These bells were often richly decorated with patterns representing nature and were buried in isolated locations by ancient people - occasionally with bronze mirrors and weapons - in the hope they got blessed with plentiful harvests. Sure enough, Bronzong's natural power to summon rain clouds is incorporated into its movepool, as it has the ability to learn Rain Dance by level-up - although it is the only Pokémon who can learn this move naturally but doesn't personally benefit from it. Bronzong doesn't just sommon rain clouds by doing some silly dance, however: it brought rains by opening portals to another world. That's some dangerous shit right there. If Sun and Moon have taught me anything, it's that alternate dimensions are not to be messed with. Additionally, Bronzong apparently also used to be buried by people in ancient times, as one specimen caused a news sensation when it was dug up at a construction site after a 2,000-year sleep.

I'm pretty sure the artist is mocking Game Freak for granting
Bronzong access to the move Earthquake, of all things.

In any case, Bronzor and its evolution Bronzong look absolutely nothing alike, but that doesn't mean their evolutionary pattern is completely illogical. You see, there's an old Japanese legend best known by the title Of a Mirror and a Bell, present in the 1904 book Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things by Lafcadio Hearn, an Irish-Greek author who became a Japanese citizen and produced numerous accounts of Japanese culture and mythology. The story tells of a bunch of priests in Mugenyama who wanted a new bell for their temple and asked for the local women to donate their old bronze mirrors, which could be melted and cast into a bell. One of those mirrors belonged to a farmer's wife, but after a while the woman started to regret giving away the mirror that had been in her family for years. An old proverb said that a mirror was the soul of a woman, and she started to worry that she had given away her soul by donating her mirror to the priests. She couldn't afford to buy her precious belonging back, and when the mirrors were sent to the foundry to be forged into a bell, one of the mirrors would not melt. The mirror remained attached to the woman, kept cold in the furnace by her selfish desire, and she couldn't cope with the shame when it was discovered to whom the mirror belonged. She drowned herself, but not before leaving a letter in which she stated that she would come back as a ghost and reward the person to strike the bell hard enough to shatter it. The last wish of anyone dying in resentment was thought to possess a mystical power, so every day the locals tried to break the bell until the priests got tired of the constant noise. They rolled the bell down a hill into a deep swamp, never for it to be seen ever again... and giving the woman exactly what she wanted.

Of course, stories like these are often heavily exaggerated, as I can't imagine a fucking bell causing a woman so much misery that she decides to commit suicide, but myths like these make for pretty interesting Pokémon. The more I come to know about Bronzor and Bronzong's origins, the more I come to respect them - and Game Freak, for that matter, for adding little flavor-enhancing things like the Heatproof ability.

Props to the artist for making this Bronzong appear a bit worn
with age, giving this piece of fan art a more realistic feeling.

Now that I'm talking about that, Bronzong is a very valuable asset to any competitive team. With amazing base 116 defenses and decent base 67 HP, this bell is as tough to crack as the one in Of a Mirror and a Bell. There are a few options to consider when using Bronzong, and one of them is an all-out offensive one: Bronzong's base 89 attack stat allows it to do some pretty serious damage, and with a Macho Brace (halves its already abysmal speed) and a Brave nature (lowers its speed even further, but raises its attack), the move Gyro Ball will absolutely wreck anything that doesn't resist it. Bronzong also learns Trick Room, Earthquake, Zen Headbutt and Rock Slide, as well as Explosion - when it has lost its effectiveness during the match, you can just catch the opponent off guard and let it blow up. However, Bronzong is more commonly used as a defensive Pokémon, setting up Stealth Rock and annoying the fuck out of its foes by giving them a bad poisoning with Toxic and subsequently stalling them with Protect. Alternatively, Trick Room can still be used on a defensive set to evoke the rage of opponents who are trying to set up in order to sweep. To ensure Bronzong's longevity, you should let it hold the Leftovers so it can heal a bit of its HP every turn. With a defensive set comes a defensive nature, but preferably a speed-reducing one such as Sassy or Relaxed, just to squeeze the most damage out of Gyro Ball.

As for its abilities, the damage reduction from fire-type moves due to Heatproof seems great and is a nice little touch Game Freak added in regard to its origins, but I can assure you that the immunity to ground-type moves from Levitate is far more useful. Don't even bother with its hidden ability Heavy Metal, because it will only have effect on the damage output of Heavy Slam, which you won't be using in the first place. Additionally, Bronzong will be taking much more damage from moves like Low Kick and Grass Knot, which obviously isn't very favorable.

Can we just take a second to appreciate Bronzor's design? 

I absolutely love Bronzor and Bronzong, not only because of my love for steel types but also because there's such a mysterious vibe surrounding these Pokémon. Bronzor and Bronzong are based on very different ancient artifacts, yet their evolutionary pattern makes so much sense if you take their origins into consideration. Working your way up to my list of favorite Pokémon from rock bottom is no mean feat, but both Bronzor and Bronzong managed to do just that. Their rating probably won't come as a surprise to y'all...

P.S.: The Chinese aren't very nice people. Their name for Bronzor is Tóngjìngguài (銅鏡怪), which literally means 'bronze mirror freak'. My precious little Bronzor is not a freak, goddammit!

P.P.S.: I like how bianzhong, an ancient Chinese musical instrument consisting of bells, is phonetically similar to 'Bronzong'.

Rating: 5/5