#504 - #505: Patrat & Watchog

Patrat as seen in TCG.

I have absolutely no idea where to start with Patrat. Like Rattata, Sentret, Zigzagoon and Bidoof, it is the mandatory Route 1 normal-type rodent and there isn't a lot to say about it other than its biological origins and the fact that a lot of people seem to despise it for some reason - and perhaps its evolution Watchog is hated even more by the fandom. I don't have a problem with any normal-type rodent in the franchise, let alone any Gen. V Pokémon, so I think the hate for it is unfounded and unjustified. In fact, Patrat's design and flavor are kind of interesting in my opinion, finding their inspiration in meerkats, African mongoose-like critters that stand sentry to look out for predators and warn others of approaching dangers - although it kinda looks like a chipmunk of some sort, if I have to be honest. According to the Dutch Wikipedia page, a bevy of other animal species take advantage of the warning cries from meerkats on guard, which is why the meerkat is called 'the warden of the desert'. Add to that the fact that Patrat - with the emphasis on the second syllable, because its name derives from 'patrol' - is very conscious and wary regarding its surroundings and is always on guard, and the likelihood that it is based on meerkats raises even more.

To make matters confusing, though, the English 'meerkat' is a loanword from Afrikaans, which in turn has a Dutch origin... but by misidentification. The Dutch meerkat stems from the Sanskrit markaṭa (मर्कट), meaning 'ape', and is used to specify the guenon monkeys from the genus cercopithecus, whereas the Dutch word for 'meerkat' is actually stokstaartje (literally 'stick tail'). This name is reminiscent of how Patrat's tail is mostly used to communicate with others of its species; it is almost always standing up straight and is raised whenever Patrat sees an enemy.

Watchog looks a whole lot more
fluorescent in its shiny form, tbh.

Patrat's cautious nature and meerkat characteristics are carried over to its evolution Watchog, whose design is now based on a roadworker, with its body resembling a protective suit and the yellow stripes forming a high-visibility public safety vest. Luminescent compounds in Watchog's body allow these stripes - and its eyes - to illuminate, which is a defense mechanism to threaten and possibly scare away predators, which especially comes in handy at night when Watchog will have to stand sentry due to its excellent night vision. Therefore, it is likely its name derives from 'watchdog', dogs used to alert their owners of an intruder's presence and scare them away - not to be confused with guard dogs, which are also capable to attack the intruder. This is all very ironic, because at base 85 its physical attack is Watchog's best stat. That is decent at best - though a lot of people would call it mediocre - and with base 77 speed as its second best stat, you're in for a tough ride if you decide to use this thing in a playthrough. And I'm specifically mentioning a playthrough, because you should steer clear from it altogether in the competitive metagame; it's too terrible for that. Actually, Watchog's level-up movepool is quite horrendous, as the best offensive moves it gets are Crunch and Hyper Fang (STAB), while you have to wait for the latter and put up with the weak Tackle until level 36. Absolutely atrocious. Okay, let's assume you're doing an Ultra Sun Wonderlocke and you receive a Patrat that you want to use, then you'll be in for some positive treats: the Move Tutors are actually very kind towards Watchog, as they'll be able to teach it Aqua Tail, Seed Bomb, Iron Tail, the elemental punches, Gunk Shot, Zen Headbutt and Stomping Tantrum, just to name a few. Or maybe the Hypnosis/Confuse Ray/Super Fang strategy is more your style...? Watchog isn't defensive enough to pull it off, but it learns these moves by level-up and they could work in your advantage. In the end, though, Watchog is heavily Move Tutor-reliant, as it also doesn't learn jack shit for TMs. No good TMs, by any means, with the exception of Return.

Gym Leader Lenora's Watchog in the anime series. 

Listen, I actually like Watchog. Its design is creative, its flavor is interesting, and it looks hilariously creepy. I know that sounds paradoxical, and maybe you're right, but despite its frightening disposition I just can't take this Pokémon seriously; those intimidating eyes can't hide the fact that its cheek pouches look adorably chubby. Like I said at the beginning of this article, I don't understand why so many people seem to act so negatively towards it. Maybe it has something to do with its early access to Detect (just a fighting-type Protect), Confuse Ray, Hypnosis and Super Fang, which it all learns at or before level 22, but dealing with that was never really an obstacle for me personally; Watchog is relatively easy to take down due to its poor defenses and it isn't as annoying as, say, a bitch-ass Pelipper. While Sentret did the lookout thing first, Patrat and Watchog take this aspect and elaborate on it quite well, and so I will by no means give them a bad rating.

Rating: 3.5/5

#501 - #503: Oshawott, Dewott & Samurott

Ash's Oshawott throwing its scalchop down in anger, only to pick
it up immediately afterwards because it is worried it might have
damaged its beloved weapon. 

Oh, how an initially unpopular Pokémon has come to be an outright fan favorite. When Oshawott was first released, Pokémon fans were fast to nickname it 'Wotter', but I can't say they were particularly charmed by its design. It wasn't until the anime that the fans started to like this thing, and only because of Ash's Oshawott's outgoing (and oftentimes even inconsiderate) personality. While it could be cute at times, Ash's Oshawott had a propensity for being dramatic whenever things went wrong or didn't go its way, and it acted proud and boastful - not unlike Dawn's Piplup, with whom it had a transitory rivalry. Oshawott's antics greatly entertained the Pokémon fans and it quickly grew to be a fan favorite during the Best Wishes! series, which is widely regarded as a disappointing anime generation. Then there's Oshawott's scalchop, a shell that is used as a weapon when Razor Shell is executed and is made of the same material as claws and fingernails (keratin), growing back whenever it happens to get destroyed. Ash's Oshawott even panicked whenever it lost its scalchop, was happy when he found out that it hadn't done any major damage to it after throwing it down in anger, and got angry whenever it got stolen by another Pokémon.

Ash's Oshawott was... easily infatuated. This GIF shows Oshawott and Dawn's
Piplup falling in love with the same Pokémon.

Piplup and Oshawott's rivalry continues as Piplup attempts to best Oshawott
in getting Meloetta's attention.

But eventually, Piplup and Oshawott realize they care deeply for each other as
they say a teary-eyed goodbye. 

The scalchop also plays a big part in the whole samurai theme that this evolution line has going for them, as it holds similarities with Japanese war fans, which were often used by samurai for defensive purposes. Moreover, the fans weren't wrong calling Oshawott 'Wotter', because sea otters were definitely the inspiration for this Pokémon, as is indicated by its English name as well as its German name Ottaro and its Korean and Mandarin Chinese names. Incidentally, Oshawott's Japanese name Mijumaru (ミジュマル) may refer to an otter named Mijbil, the subject of an autobiographical novel and movie called Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell, about his life in a remote house in coastal Scotland where he kept several wild otters as pets.

One of the surprisingly few pieces of fan art I could find of Dewott.

When it comes to Oshawott's evolutions, Dewott (probably from the name Helen DeWitt, author of The Last Samurai) isn't that much different apart from having two scalchops instead of one, complete with honest-to-goodness samurai gear. Dewott uses its scalchops more intensively than Oshawott, using its double-scalchop technique through rigid training in order to accomplish fluid swordsmanship, although techniques differ from one Dewott to another. This fighting style is reminiscent to tessenjutsu, a martial art involving Japanese war fans that could make people so skilled that they were able to defend themselves against attackers with swords and even kill opponents with a single blow. The skilled wielder could even use it to fence and fend off knives and poisoned darts thrown at them. While Dewott probably doesn't possess such a level of skill, it is probably skilled enough for its evolution Samurott to suddenly wield whole-ass swords called seamitars. Now resembling truly armored samurai or shōgun, the war fan aesthetic is translocated from its pre-evolution's scalchops to its own goddamn tail, while the helmet-like shell over its head appears to be based on murex trapa - or the rare-spined murex shell. Samurott looks old and wise yet intimidating, and it actually is intimidating: in the time it takes for a foe to blink, Samurott can draw and sheathe the seamitars attached to its front legs, and one swing of its seamitar can fell an opponent. One simple glare or howl from Samurott quiets everybody.

Oshawott falling for Buneary, who shows more interest in Ash's Pikachu instead.

Isn't it adorable? I swear, The Pokémon Company have struck gold with
Oshawott's personality.

Oshawott, what the fuck are you doing? You can't even learn Belly Drum...

While still reminiscent to the giant otter, Samurott now looks more like a sea lion of some sort. In an interview, Ken Sugimori said that Oshawott and its evolutions were the hardest for the team to design during production, as conceptualizing its evolutions was difficult. The sea lion show during a trip to an aquarium inspired them to incorporate elements of sea lions in Samurott's design, hence why it looks so unlike its pre-evolutions. I just wish we had a different name for Samurott in English, because its French and German names of Clamiral and Admurai obviously refer to 'admiral' and its Japanese name Daikenki (ダイケンキ) is the complete on'yomi reading* of the word daikenki, which means literally 'big sword-wielding demon' in Chinese. I would have loved such a name for Samurott in English, too, but alas...

*(Sino-Japanese vocabulary - or kango - refers to that portion of the Japanese vocabulary that originated in Chinese or has been created from elements borrowed from Chinese, and on'yomi is the modern descendant of the Japanese approximation of the base Chinese pronunciation of a character at the time it was introduced.)

Badass TCG promotional art of Samurott.

Competitively, Samurott is... not very good, unfortunately. It has good HP, workable attacking stats, okay defense and mediocre special defense and speed, which doesn't make it a very versatile Pokémon: it cannot take special hits very well and it doesn't really outspeed many Pokémon in the metagame, either. You could fix that last problem with a Choice Scarf, but that means you won't be able to run a Swords Dance set. With base 100 attack and 108 special attack, Samurott doesn't really excel at anything in particular; despite its slightly higher special attack stat, its special movepool is incredibly lacking, with access to only STAB moves and Ice Beam - and Grass Knot, if that's your style. With access to Swords Dance - a move that raises its attack stat by two stages every time it is used - and a considerable amount of physical moves, a physical set is heavily recommended. The newly required Liquidation is definitely a must-have on a Swords Dance set, while Samurott has access to some nifty coverage moves like Sacred Sword (as of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon), Megahorn, Smart Strike, Iron Tail, Night Slash and Knock Off. Priority in Aqua Jet wouldn't be terrible to have on it, either, especially since Samurott isn't very fast in the first place. Now that I mention its speed, I'd recommend a Jolly nature to maximize its speed stat; you can just use a Life Orb for a bit more oomph behind its attacks instead of giving it an Adamant nature. Finally, Samurott's hidden ability Shell Armor prevents it from receiving critical hits, but maybe you'll want to go with its regular ability Torrent instead, which boosts its water-type moves when it is at or below one third of its health.

When in battle, Samurott can stand on its hind legs and use one of the blades
from its anterior legs as a sword to fight. 

The ultimate question is, 'Do I really want to use Samurott in a competitive setting?' Smogon also mentions a special set with Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, Grass Knot and either Aqua Jet or Taunt, but it's oftentimes not even fast enough to use Taunt and prevent opposing Pokémon from setting up on it, especially if it has any other nature than Timid. Samurott is an excellent Pokémon to use in a playthrough due to its well-roundedness, but it actually isn't that good in competitive. There are plenty of Pokémon that can do what Samurott can, and the abundance of water-type Pokémon in the games won't leave you dissatisfied in finding a better physical-based water type (right off the bat I think of starters like Feraligatr, Swampert and even Greninja, who are all miles better than Samurott when it comes to their physical utility).

Ash's Tepig (later Pignite) and Oshawott didn't get along very well...

Dafuq are you laughing at, Oshawott? As if you don't look ridiculous in that
Sewaddle collar...

I really do love Samurott's design and flavor. I was happy to use it multiple times throughout any Black/White/Black 2/White 2 playthrough, especially since I got sick of fire/fighting starters by the time Black and White were released, and I have to say it didn't disappoint at all: it was moderately bulky (AI Pokémon are stupid and aren't properly trained, so Samurott was sure to live a couple of hits as long as they weren't super-effective) and it did its job excellently once it had access to Swords Dance. So, as I did with some other Pokémon, I'm giving Samurott a perfect rating purely for its aesthetic qualities.

Rating: 5/5

#498 - #500: Tepig, Pignite & Emboar

Left: cute little Tepig seems to be a bit surprised by the flames
coming out of its snout. Right: what's a better way to show how
awkward Pignite really is than posting an image of its fucking
official art? Seriously though, who the hell came up with this?

My initial reaction to the red-hot Unova fire-type starters was... lukewarm. By the time Pokémon Black and White were released, I was as sick and tired of fire/fighting starters as everybody else in the fandom, and so I almost always ended up picking either Snivy or Oshawott when playing these games - or their sequels, for that matter. It's not Tepig's fault, really. This cute little British Saddleback piggy deftly dodges its foe's attacks while shooting fireballs from its nose, although the fire becomes pitch-black smoke when it catches a cold. Adorable. Nothing wrong with this thing... until it evolves into Pignite, that is. Whereas I would rather keep Tepig as a pet, I want to slaughter Pignite and make bacon out of it; it's that ugly. It's fat, which wouldn't have been a problem if this thing wasn't bipedal, and the brownish black fur makes it seem like it's wearing a wrestling singlet. This may sound weird coming from a gay man, but I don't think two sweaty men fighting it out in ugly bodysuits is particularly sexy, and a cartoon pig with fur that reminds me of such a suit is just plain weird. Pignite's flavor doesn't really help its cause, either: it has a fire in its stomach that it fuels with food, and the more fuel is added, the swifter and sharper its movements become. Every time it fires off a Flamethrower at your Pokémon, it's getting hit by burned-up gastric acids; think about that for a second when fighting this thing. Gross. By the way, there's nothing in the games that makes Pignite faster other than the move Flame Charge, which almost all fire-type Pokémon can learn.

Emboar being a badass in promotional TCG art.

But maybe I'm just so negative about Pignite because I really hate its design. Emboar, by contrast, is quite okay design-wise; while retaining the main feature of the British Saddleback (the 'striped' fur), it also adopts traits from wild boars and wrestlers - although arguably less awkwardly so than Pignite - as well as a couple of references to Chinese fairytales. First off, Emboar seems to be based on a soldier described in Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a critically acclaimed 14th-century historical novel attributed to Luo Guanzhong that is regarded as one of the Four Great Classical Novels in Chinese literature, just like Journey to the West. Much like Infernape is based on Sun Wukong from this classical novel, Emboar may be based on the pig demon Zhu Bajie, especially since Ken Sugimori stated that the entire evolution line were designed in a Chinese style. In fact, the swirl pattern around Emboar's abdomen resembles the patterns on ding, prehistoric and ancient Chinese cauldrons used for cooking, storage and ritual offerings to the gods or ancestors. The fact that Emboar is literally the only fire-type Pokémon that can learn Scald aside from Volcanion (who is also a water type) proves that it derives heavily from ding. Flavor-wise, Emboar has the most interesting Pokédex entries when compared to its pre-evolutions: the perenially flaring beard of fire is proof that it is fired up, and it uses this wreath of flames on its chin to ignite its fists and throw fiery punches our way. Holy shit, this thing has inflammable fists and it is not afraid to use them. That is awesome.

Awesome realistic art of Emboar. This is very well done.

Too bad Emboar isn't about using its fists in the competitive metagame, then. Sure, it learns Fire Punch just fine... by means of a Move Tutor. I'm literally laughing out loud right now; sometimes I think a Pokémon is so well-thought-out that I think the people at Game Freak are geniuses, and at moments like these I tend to believe those motherfuckers absolutely don't know what the heck they're doing. Anyway, Emboar's stat distribution seems to be kind of odd in a way, with excellent HP and attack, very good special attack and mediocre everything else. That means it won't outspeed a lot of things and won't take hits as well as you'd wish it to. Fortunately, there is a Choice Scarf set that can make this Pokémon potentially dangerous for any opposing team, and it involves a Jolly nature and Emboar's hidden ability Reckless. This ability increases the base power of moves that cause recoil damage by 20%, and let me tell you that Emboar learns quite a few of these. Flare Blitz will be its main source of power, as it's a fire-type move and thus provides some excellent STAB. Head Smash is, strangely, a level-up move that Emboar has access to and it can do some serious damage if you don't watch out (it already has a base power of 150, which will increase to 180 when applying Reckless), while Wild Charge through TM provides amazing type coverage against water and flying types, both of which Emboar is weak to. The last recoil-dealing move Emboar has access to is Take Down, but that is not a good move at all and should be avoided at all costs. Instead, go with a fighting-type move that matches up with Emboar's secondary typing, like Brick Break, Hammer Arm or Superpower, or - better yet - give it Scald. It may not be the best Pokémon to make use of that move, but at least you'll have an increased chance of burning a foe that relies on physical moves, which means Emboar can take a couple of hits in turn. On top of that, it hits rock types super-effectively and perhaps even more effectively than a STAB fighting-type move.

Emboar standing in the arena, ready to kick some ass. 

I actually think Emboar isn't that bad of a Pokémon. I like it more than Infernape, whom I'm currently using in an Ultra Moon playthrough with all starters, especially because it looks far more intimidating than and doesn't have quite as busy a design as the Sinnoh fire/fighting starter. I'm glad Game Freak hasn't made any more of those, mind you, and I hope they'll continue that trend, but Emboar is here now and it's fine for what it is.

Rating: 4/5

#495 - #497: Snivy, Servine & Serperior

Snivy and Servine.

We have arrived at the first official Unova starter Pokémon, and now we truly get to dive into the fifth generation. Snivy is a serpent-like grass-type creature, although with hands and feet and a snooty disposition. Its smug appearance and self-contented grin may throw you off a bit - in fact, when this Pokémon was first released and no official name was known yet, people were quick to give it the fan-made moniker 'Smugleaf' - but flavor-wise this Pokémon is honestly nothing more than just a photosynthesizing grass snake, basking its tail in sunlight in order to make its movements swifter. Even though Snivy and its middle evolution Servine are classified as the 'Grass Snake Pokémon', they may have been inspired by a variety of green vine snake species with a pointed snout, including oxybelis fulgidus, ahaetulla nasuta and ahaetulla prasina. Snivy's cool, calm and collected demeanor carries on to its evolution Servine, who tends to sink into the shadows of thick foliage before retaliating, although it fusses about staying dirt-free because its leaves are only capable of photosynthesis when they're clean.

Lastly, before we proceed to discuss Snivy's final stage Serperior, there's something to be said about the words 'snide' and 'snicker' being present in Snivy's English name, even though it's honestly more likely to derive from 'snake' and 'ivy'. I refuse to believe, however, that Servine comes from 'servant'. Ken Sugimori has stated that the whole evolution line is based on French royalty (wrong region, anyone?), specifically mentioning the anime The Rose of Versailles as inspiration, which is only backed up by the fact that some of Servine's physical features resemble the acanthus leaf motifs popularized during the Renaissance.

Frankly, I think Serperior is very beautiful and majestic, which
is why it's one of my favorite starters to date. Its royalty
aesthetics and regal disposition makes it quite the interesting
Pokémon, really.

The whole royalty aesthetic is most eminent in Serperior's design, too. This Pokémon radiates power and authority and can stop its opponent's movements with just its piercing glare, while foes unfazed by the glare from Serperior's noble eyes will get attacked by it at full force, indicating that it only gives its all against foes that it deems worthy battling with. Its Pokédex entries state that it is also capable of amplifying solar energy within its body, something I guess all grass-types can do by simply using Solar Beam, but this fact may very well be an allusion to King Louis XIV of France, who infamously referred to himself as the 'Sun King'. Serperior's white face alludes to the skin-whitening fashion mostly used by the European aristocracy in the 17th century, while the dark green mark on Serperior's chest seems to form a fleur-de-lis, a French insignia that is used on many European noble families' and nations' coat of arms. Aside from the ongoing French royalty theme, Serperior's design and flavor may also be inspired by several species of snake, specifically the emerald tree boa, the royal python or - as indicated by its paralyzing stare - the basilisk, the king of serpents in European legends (just watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if you want to know what a basilisk does exactly). Finally, Serperior may also originate from an Aztec serpent deity called Quetzalcoatl, revered for its wind and wisdom.

Serperior whipping up a Leaf Storm.

Unfortunately, Serperior is a very one-dimensional Pokémon in the competitive scene. It has excellent speed and decent HP and defenses, making it one of the rare cases of a Pokémon being a speedy wall. Well... semi-wall, because its base 95 defenses aren't anything near perfect, which - for a Pokémon that I guess was supposed to be defensive - leaves a lot to be desired in combination with its base 75 HP. Sadly, Serperior lacks the support movepool to go with the utility strategy, which probably makes you wonder what exactly Serperior is used for? Strangely enough, it's an offensive Pokémon. Its base 75 attack and special attack are nothing to write home about, especially for a fully evolved Pokémon, but with its hidden ability Contrary and the move Leaf Storm, Serperior can actually sweep. Leaf Storm usually lowers the user's special attack stat by two stages after use, but Contrary inverts all changes to the stat stages of a Pokémon with this ability - e.g. a foe's Intimidate ability would raise Serperior's attack rather than lower it, and a move like Coil would lower its attack, defense and accuracy rather than raise them. This means Leaf Storm actually raises Serperior's special attack by two stages, making it increasingly dangerous to switch into. This strategy is fairly straightforward and very easy to see coming, although it has proved to be very effective when backed up by a Timid or Modest nature. The problem is that Serperior isn't very versatile when it comes to special moves; the best it has access to are Leaf Storm, Giga Drain and Energy Ball - all grass-type moves - and some type of Hidden Power. Substitute and Leech Seed (and Leftovers as a held item) are the only good support options to go with Leaf Storm, since it allows Serperior to build up strength and momentum without taking too much damage.

Additionally, one Smogon set mentions a 200-power Breakneck Blitz coming from Hyper Beam to counter Pokémon that otherwise wall Serperior, which could legit be an option to consider for the fourth move slot. You could even ditch Leech Seed and Substitute and go with a moveset consisting of Leaf Storm, Hidden Power, Hyper Beam and a status move such as Glare or Taunt. It isn't recommended if you don't know how to utilize that moveset, but maybe it'll work out just fine for you.

Holy shit, this creepy realistic art of Serperior is amazing!

I absolutely love Serperior. At one point in time, it was even my favorite starter Pokémon, until I got a newfound love for Sceptile during a couple of ORAS playthroughs and Empoleon because of my fairly recent admiration for steel types. I am currently doing an Ultra Moon playthrough with solely starter Pokémon (a physical- and special-based attacker for every type) and Serperior is my grass-type special attacker. To my disappointment, the Contrary/Leaf Storm set doesn't work as well in an in-game setting as in the competitive metagame, but at least it is competently bulky and it can take down Trainers with multiple Pokémon just fine. And seriously, though, Serperior is just a sight to behold, so I don't mind seeing it in battle.

Rating: 5/5

#494: Victini

Victini about to blast off a Fusion Flare. This move
usually cannot be learned by Victini, as it's the
signature move of Reshiram, which is why Game
Freak made it an event-only move.

It feels strange ending the fourth generation on such a negative note, but even stranger is the fact that we're starting off Gen. V - my personal favorite generation in terms of Pokémon, gameplay features and storyline - with a mythical Pokémon instead of the usual grass-type starter. Like all so-called 'pixie' Pokémon, Victini is supposed to be cute and iconic, and I think Game Freak have done a fine job at that. The way Victini is implemented into the game comes across as quite odd, however. It could actually be obtained very early on in the main storyline through an event, by simply claiming the Liberty Pass that allows you to travel to Liberty Garden upon arriving in Castelia City and catch Victini hiding in the lighthouse standing smack-dab in middle of the island. It was at level 15, which should have been a couple of levels below the player's Pokémon and therefore it was perfectly viable to add to any in-game team. Of course, as Victini is a legendary it couldn't just incautiously be added among the peasant Unova Pokémon, which is why it got number 000 in the regional Pokédex and thus comes before Snivy, Servine and Serperior. It really doesn't make sense for Victini to come first in the Unova Pokédex, though; Pokémon Black and White saw the first time in which only the 150 normally available debuting Pokémon could be used throughout the main storyline, as Landorus and Kyurem weren't available until post-game and the other four - including Victini - are event Pokémon, and Victini could have easily been put somewhere at the end of the Dex. No biggie. But here I am, reviewing this Pokémon while I really wanted to be done with all these legendaries for a good while, especially after the disappointment that is Arceus.

A whole horde of Victini enjoying a full basket of macarons.
I don't know where the hell they got those from, but our local
supermarket here in the Netherlands asks €5,- for just ten or
twelve of these tiny motherfuckers. They're like the caviar of
confectionery, goddamn.

Unlike Arceus, though, Junichi Masuda's favorite Pokémon seems to be a bit more straightforward when it comes to its design and origins. Aesthetically, it seems to be based on usagi-ringo, a method of cutting apple slices to make them look similar to rabbits, while conceptually it might draw inspiration from the Greek winged goddess Nike and its Roman equivalent Victoria, both representing victory. I am not surprised Victini draws inspiration from these particular goddesses; it is a legendary, it is classified as the 'Victory Pokémon', it has a unique ability called Victory Star - which increases the accuracy of moves used by the user and its allies by 10% of their original accuracy - and it even possesses two wing-like tails that allow it to fly. Its pointed ears form the letter V, which might very well be a reference to the generation it was introduced in as well. Victini is usually a timid and caring Pokémon, although it will fight if its friends are in danger. Additionally, it is said to bring victory to Trainers that befriend it, producing an infinite amount of energy within itself and sharing this energy with others by touch. It can even become invisible, as demonstrated in Pokémon the Movie: White - Victini and Zekrom and Pokémon the Movie: Black - Victini and Reshiram. These two movies follow a similar plot with some major and minor changes, notably the Pokémon that appear and Resiram and Zekrom swapping roles as the main focus of the film.

Black and White promotional art for the Victini you
can catch in the lighthouse in Liberty Garden. 

When it comes to competitive play, Victini is one of the better mythical Pokémon to use on an offensive team. Like all other 'pixie' Pokémon it has base 100 stats across the board, which allows you to go several different ways with it, although it has to be said that an offensive approach is very much recommended. The reason I'm saying that is because Victini has a crazy powerful move in its arsenal: V-create. This event-exclusive fire-type move has a base power of 180, which makes it the third most powerful move in the game after Self-Destruct and Explosion. It does have the negative effect of lowering the user's defense, special defense and speed stats, but this could easily be solved by giving Victini a White Herb to hold or by simply switching it out for another Pokémon on your team. V-create is a must-have STAB move on a physical-based Victini, as is Zen Headbutt, and a Jolly or Adamant nature allows it to make great use of a Choice Band or Choice Scarf, respectively. Some neat physical coverage moves are Brick Break, Bolt Strike/Fusion Bolt (both are event-exclusive), Thunder Punch and U-Turn, but that's pretty much all Victini has to work with. Victini's special attack is as good as its attack, and its special movepool is honestly so much better, with STAB moves like Searing Shot, Fire Blast, Psychic, Psyshock and Blue Flare/Fusion Flare (again, both are event-only moves) and amazing coverage in Thunder, Thunderbolt, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam, Signal Beam and even Glaciate (also event-exclusive). Special sets would have been much more prevalent in competitive if it weren't for V-create, but they're not terrible by any means and work well with a Modest or Timid nature in combination with the Choice items I mentioned before. A Life Orb can be used as well, on either a physical- or special-based moveset, and is recommended over a Choice item should you go with a mixed Victini instead.

Lastly, Smogon mentions a Timid set with the move Celebrate. Normally, this move doesn't do anything in battle - deal damage, boost stats, hinder the opponent, etc. - but powered up with Normalium Z it boosts all of Victini's stats by one stage each. This allows Victini to use Stored Power afterwards, a 20-power move that increases by 20 for each positive stat change the user has in any stat, doing a considerable 120 power after a Z-Celebrate boost. It's a little gimmicky and requires impeccable timing during a match, but if you can make this set work... well, more power to you. I would advise you to just go with one of the sets I mentioned earlier, though.

TCG art of Victini.

I like Victini well enough, but I've honestly never used it during a playthrough, really. Even stupid 20-year-old me couldn't figure out how to connect to the Internet with my Nintendo DS Lite - luckily I could around the time X and Y came out - and so I wasn't able to obtain Victini in the first place. While I haven't been able to warm up to it by carrying it around in my team, I must say that factors like its design, cuteness, flavor and competitive utility still made me give it 4.5 stars.

Rating: 4.5/5

#493: Arceus

Arceus.

In quite a few ways, Arceus is a highly controversial Pokémon. I can only assume that it isn't commonplace to include a creature based on a creator deity responsible for the creation of the Earth, galaxy and universe - present in many world cultures and religions - in a prominent video game franchise predominantly aimed at children. In many monotheistic religions the single God is also the creator, but I am an atheist and I wholeheartedly believe in the Big Bang, a popular term for a cosmological theory based on the general theory of relativity stating that the universe (or cosmos, if you will) came into existence 13.8 billion years ago and expanded from a very high-temperature and high-density state called a singularity. Our Earth is significantly younger - although much older than many Christians would like you to believe - and was formed approximately 4.6 billion years ago, when our solar system was but a mere cloud of gas, dust and rubble originating from exploded stars. The massive cloud, often called a nebula, began to spin and clump up; and while the absolute lightest materials ended up in the middle and formed the sun, the solar wind swept away lighter elements that were the basis for gas giants Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune - such as hydrogen and helium - from the closer regions and left only rocky meterials to create smaller terrestrial worlds like Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars. And then, all of a sudden, Game Freak gave us a Pokémon that is the literal embodiment of a nonexistent supernatural being that is the source of all kinds of bias and misinformation in millions of humans around the world.

Just for the record: I'm not generalizing religious people. I am certain there are many progressive Christians and Muslims (or adherents of other religions, for that matter), but for every open-minded and forward-thinking Christian there seem to be a hundred of them who want to go back to the Middle Ages. Also, I should mention that I've personally had my fair share of negative experiences with Christians, so excuse me for not being a huge fan of religion in general.

Very atmospherical fan art of Arceus waiting for you on an extended platform
hovering above Spear Pillar. It was intended to be summoned in-game by use of
the Azure Flute, distrubuted by Nintendo and The Pokémon Company, but the
event was ultimately cancelled.

Anyway, Arceus is believed to have hatched from an egg in a place where there was nothing and then shaped the world with its 1,000 arms, which ties in with a mythological motif found in the creation myths of many cultures and civilizations called the world egg, or cosmic egg. Its Pokédex entry is also a reference to the bodhisattva (a Sanskrit term for anyone who has generated bodhicitta, an enlightened mind) Avalokiteśvara, who in Buddhism is either pictured with eleven heads and one thousand arms or in a white, four-armed manifestation. Arceus's aesthetics derive from equines such as horses and llamas, although Bulbapedia suggests its stance and general form are similar to Egyptian bull and calf idols, particularly Apis. Uhm... okay? I don't see it, but what-fucking-ever.

Arceus... at the beginning of time? I don't know man, I just think
the background looks cool. 

Other controversial topics surrounding Arceus are its feature film and the pronunciation of its name. While 'ce' is usually pronounced with a soft c, the voice director of the anime dub at the time chose to pronounce Arceus with a hard c instead due to concerns over the soft c pronunciation's potential implications in British English-speaking territories, because of course British children would immediately think of an 'arse' (which is 'ass' in American English). As a result, there have been heated debates on the Internet about how to really pronounce Arceus's name, with roughly a 50/50 margin between the Ar-see-us and Ar-key-us camps and me joining the former. What everyone generally seems to agree on, however, is how shit the movie Arceus and the Jewel of Life actually is, not in the least because of the voice actor who was tasked with dubbing Arceus. The pitchy and whiny voice didn't fit such a mysterious and regal creature at all, and many found it highly disconcerting and irritating and didn't understand at all why Arceus wasn't given a much deeper voice. The movie's plot, which revolves around Arceus getting mad at the people of Michina Town for being betrayed in ancient times by a person called Damos and Ash traveling back to the past with his friends in order to directly influence the event for the better, isn't the worst I have ever seen and actually seems legitimately fun, but it contains some serious plot holes concerning time traveling and tampering with the timeline of events that I was really annoyed by.

This artist has managed to make Arceus look at least a little less
awkward. 

What I am also annoyed by - even though I shouldn't - is the stupid golden cross-like wheel around its abdomen, based on the bhavacakra ('wheel of life') from Buddhism. A symbolic representation of saṃsāra (or cyclic existence), it is found on the outside walls of Tibetan Buddhist temples and monasteries in the Indo-Tibetan region and helps ordinary people understand Buddhist teachings. This wheel thing on Arceus, which is probably more like an arc, changes color along with its eyes and hooves based on the type of plate or Z-Crystal that it is currently holding, which can basically be seen as helping ordinary people understand typings. I'm sure this arc thing plays an important role in changing the usually normal-type Arceus's typing, but there is no proof of that in the Pokédex or any other source aside from the aesthetic change. With base 120 base stats across the board - resulting in a base stat total of 720 - as well as the existence of some slightly overpowered mono-types in the competitive metagame (steel, fairy, dragon) and access to an insanely wide variety of moves, Arceus can be such a broken Pokémon in so many ways. It wasn't banned to Smogon's Uber tier for no reason, and I don't think you can actually use it in official tournaments, either. It's mainly just... there.

Even the manga didn't hold back displaying all types of Arceus.

And then its name... holy fucking shit. There are so many affixes and words that could be the inspiration for its name, and they all make sense. This is actually a warning, as it could get a bit repetitive, so if you don't feel like going through all of them, I'd recommend just skipping the following paragraph altogether.

So, the prefix arch- means 'most extreme' or 'highest', while árchon - or ἄρχων - is Greek for 'ruler' (not the mathematical kind) or 'lord' and deus is Latin for 'god' or 'deity'. It may also be the case that Arceus's name is derived from 'archaic' or from the Greek ἀρχή and ἀρχαῖος (arkhē and arkhaîos, respectively, with the former meaning 'beginning' or 'origin' and the latter meaning 'ancient') and Latin archetypus ('original'). There's 'arc' and aureus as well - with the latter being Latin for 'golden', in reference to its hooves and gold-colored wheel - but the last reference is even phonetically the same depending on which Arceus pronunciation camp you're in: Archeus - derived from the earlier-mentioned arkhaîos - which is the vital principle or force believed by the Paracelsians to be responsible for alchemical reactions within living bodies, and hence for the growth and continuation of all living beings. Essentially it was seen as the gray area wherein matter, speaking parallel and not laterally, begins to transmute into spiritual energies, and in effect it is the glue which binds the heavens to the material. It's such a vague concept that I don't fully understand it, but as Arceus is responsible for creating Sinnoh and Ransei (the region in Pokémon Conquest, my favorite Pokémon spin-off game) and possibly all life on Earth in the Pokémon world, I don't think this reference is all too farfetched.

The Last Supper re-enacted by all of the relevant legendaries, with Arceus
obviously acting like Jesus Christ.

I don't like Arceus, goddammit. There are too many religious references in its design and flavor, and I think it's all a bit too much. Arceus itself looks weird, especially with all of its body parts out of proportion (its awkwardly round abdomen, its long knobbly legs, the wheel being stuck around its body, its weird 'haircut', etc.), and I don't really see the need for such a Pokémon. Event Pokémon tend to be a little bit unnecessary in the first place, but at least most of those are competitively viable without being banned and aren't just mere collectibles. Arceus is by far my least favorite legendary/mythical Pokémon in existence and it's actually the only one not getting a passing grade - in fact, all of the other legendaries have gotten or will get at least 3.5 stars. Sucks to be you, Arceus.

Rating: 2.5/5

#492: Shaymin

Let me start off this review by saying that the Shaymin from the movie Giratina and the Sky Warrior is a conceited little asshole; its stuck-up attitude did not make the movie very enoyable to watch, especially since this Pokémon plays such a crucial part in it. The fact that a Pokémon known as the 'Gratitude Pokémon' was such an ungrateful brat didn't really make any sense to me (and to this day it still doesn't), but maybe the whole thing was done on purpose. It's just not very cute on a Pokémon that is supposed to radiate cuteness, though, and it's still a mystery to me as to why Ash didn't just leave it to its fate. Celebi, Jirachi, Manaphy and especially Mew were much more likeable in their respective movies, if I have to be honest.

OMG, aren't they cuuuuute? 

I love Shaymin when it comes to its design, flavor, form change and competitive capability, however, so its whiny and ungrateful behavior is hardly a reason for me to start disliking/hating it. The cuteness of its hedgehog Land Forme is exactly one of the reasons why I love it so much, although the more canine or reindeer-like Sky Forme's superhero aesthetics (fur like a mohawk, a flower like a cape/scarf and wing-like ears) really made me fall in love with Shaymin. It looks graceful yet feisty, although I do have to say there's an air of arrogance surrounding it. Shaymin's personality is almost opposite with each form, after all: in its Land Forme it is shy and easily frightened, while in its Sky Forme it is courageous and playful, which is probably why it looks a bit superhero-ish.

Shaymin's Land Forme (left) is usually portrayed with just one Gracidea flower, but
the other lowers burst into bloom when it senses feelings of gratitude. I do prefer its
Sky Forme over its Land Forme, though.

There are no separate Pokédex entries for Shaymin's Sky Forme, however, and I am pretty certain the entries that do exist all apply to its Land Forme. Luckily, we still have the movie, in which it is explained that Shaymin gathers with others of its kind in some flower field each season and migrates from there. This practice is called Flower Carrying, because a new field of flowers grow where it lands. As for Shaymin's Pokédex entries... well, they state that it lives in flower patches, avoiding detection by curling up to look like a flowering plant, and dissolves toxins in the air to instantly transform ruined land into a lush field of flowers. The Gracidea flowers all over its body burst into bloom if it is lovingly hugged or feels comfortable around someone, although it rapidly hides it back when it senses danger. The Gracidea is also an in-game key item that is used to change Land Forme Shaymin into Sky Forme Shaymin, although this can only be done during the day.

Lastly, Shaymin's name may be a combination of xiè (Chinese for 'thanks' or 'gratitude') and harinezumi ('hedgehog' in the same language, even though it sounds Japanese), and it is possible it's merely a corruption of shamayim (Hebrew for 'sky'), correlating directly with Shaymin's Sky Forme.

I like well-drawn art like this that makes certain Pokémon look
different yet still distinguishable.

I was never able to obtain Shaymin prior to the year-long mythical event held by Nintendo and The Pokémon Company in 2016, but I am having so much fun using one in competitive play at the moment. While Shaymin's Land Forme has base 100 stats across the board, its Sky Forme has the same base stat total, although with boosts in its special attack and speed and drops in its defenses. Base 75 defenses are a tad mediocre, but they're backed up by a more-than-decent base 100 HP stat, so it will have no trouble living at least a few hits before it goes down. I only care for Sky Forme competitively, but both forms of Shaymin are largely used as fast special attackers. It really helps that this Pokémon has a couple of unique and/or devastating attacking moves in its arsenal, among which are Seed Flare, Air Slash, Psychic, Dazzling Gleam, Earth Power, Giga Drain and Energy Ball. I'd like to mention that Seed Flare and Air Slash are definite must-haves on Sky Forme, especially since its high speed stat and Serene Grace ability make it able to flinch opponents down with a 60% chance to flinch with Air Slash. Serene Grace also boosts the chance of dropping the foe's special defense with Seed Flare to a whopping 80%, which allows it to break down special walls. Attach a Life Orb to it and it'll do even more damage, although a Choice Scarf allows you to run a Modest nature instead of a Timid one and the Choice Specs aren't half bad, either. The last option is Healing Wish, which can be used in a pinch and lets Shaymin faint in order to fully recover an injured Pokémon on your team. It's your call whether you want to sacrifice a coverage move in favor of Healing Wish, but I personally don't run that move.

Sky confidently standing in a field of flowers. Don't you think its mohawk cut is
better than Scrafty's?

Land Forme is definitely bulkier than Sky Forme and is probably just as offensively viable as Sky Forme is (even though it is slightly weaker), but its ability is Natural Cure, which isn't as competitively useful as Serene Grace. Healing a status condition upon switching out is surely nothing to sneeze at, but it is merely situational, while the Serene Grace/Air Slash combo is an actual strategy that has proved to be more than effective on multiple occasions. A supportive approach might make Land Forme stand out a little bit more, as it is more suited than Sky Forme to run a moveset consisting of Leech Seed, Substitute, Protect and Giga Drain, backed up by the Leftovers as held item. It's just an example, so maybe you could ditch either Substitute or Protect and go with Synthesis for more reliable recovery instead. Perhaps you'll find yourself in need of Healing Wish because you need an injured teammate to go back to sweeping again; you never know.

GIF of Land Forme Shaymin drinking water from a pool. Adorable.

It's such a shame event Pokémon are just handed to you through a Nintendo Zone hotspot or the Nintendo Network; usually there isn't any challenging quest in the game in order to obtain them. On the other hand, without those Wi-Fi features I would never have been able to obtain all these event Pokémon and I can now safely say that my collection of legendary Pokémon is complete - with the exception of Zeraora, obviously. Shaymin is one of the best event-only Pokémon and I absolutely adore its Sky Forme for having such a sleek design, a courageous and heroic personality and amazing battling capabilities. Take one guess what rating I'm gonna give it?

P.S.: Bulbapedia suggests Shaymin may have gotten its inspiration from Chia Pets, small American-styled terracotta figurines used to sprout chia, where the chia sprouts grow within a couple of weeks to resemble the animal's fur or hair. While there was never a hedgehog Chia Pet, I can definitely see the resemblance, although I have to wonder whether Game Freak really created Shaymin with these distinctively American toys in mind. I don't know how popular - if at all - they are in Japan, but you rarely see them here in the Netherlands and I had never even heard of them prior to writing this article...

Rating: 5/5