#158 - #160: Totodile, Croconaw & Feraligatr

Team Rocket's Jessie trying to shake off Professor Elm's Totodile
in "Don't Touch That 'dile"; season 3, episode 1.

I was going to make a comment about how I loved it that Ash's Totodile continuously clenched onto Jessie's hair with its jaws, but upon doing some research I came to realize I got some things mixed up. The Totodile that kept biting Jessie's hair is actually Professor Elm's Totodile we saw in the very first episode of the anime's third season, "Don't Touch That 'dile". Yet, Ash's Totodile was one of the best comic relief characters and always managed to make me smile or laugh. It even laughed at Duplica's Mini-Dit's (yup, the chick was at it again, but this time she brought a Ditto that retained its own size when it transformed into another Pokémon) attempt to use Scary Face in "Imitation Confrontation", the 17th episode of the fourth season. It is joyful and playful by nature and loves to chomp on anything that moves with its strong and well-developed jaws, with which it is capable to crush anything. Even its Trainers have to watch out for it. It's nice to see the anime was actually truthful to the personality and traits that described Totodile in the games, but unfortunately, Croconaw's entries aren't that much different from Totodile's. It likes to bite things and will absolutely not let go of them, not even when it loses one of its fangs, which will grow back rapidly anyway. Yeah, actual crocodilians can do that too, so I'm not impressed.

Fun fact: Croconaw actually has twice as many teeth lining its mouth as a real-life crocodile: 48. I guess Game Freak wanted to make Croconaw sound more impressive, at which they have failed, as official artwork of Feraligatr show it having only ten teeth in its mouth. Then again, what's Game Freak to do without adding a little bit of inconsistency here and there, right?

Because fan art of Croconaw doing the samba makes perfect
sense, doesn't it? 

Feraligatr, whose name is stylized that way because of a ten-character limit for names prior to Pokémon X and Y, turns out to be a lot more impressive than Meganium and Typhlosion flavor-wise. Because, as its name suggests, Feraligatr is ferocious: when it bites with its massive jaws, it shakes its head and savagely tears its victims to shreds. Sheesh. You sure you wanna give Totodile to beginning Trainers, Professor Elm? The rest of its Pokédex entries aren't all that special, but they're kinda contradictory: with base 78 speed, Feraligatr (fuck, I keep mistyping its goddamn name) isn't all that fast, although its entries state that its strong hind legs make it move quite quickly on land. It primarily uses them to kick the ground so as to charge at foes, but still... Game Freak couldn't really get it right with Feraligatr and its kin, especially not when Gold and Silver were released. Being a pure water type, Feraligatr had to rely on special-based moves rather than physical-based ones, as type still determined whether moves were physical or special, and water was still entirely special at that time. While a base 79 special attack stat isn't necessarily terrible, it's nothing to write home about, either; I mean, it's Feraligatr's second worst stat. Fortunately, Feraligatr benefited greatly from the physical/special split in Gen. IV, and from then on it has only gotten better.

This really shows Feraligatr's ferocious nature. 

While Earthquake was the best physical move it could get prior to Gen. IV, it got Crunch, Aqua Tail and Superpower for level-up moves in Diamond and Pearl. And they're all physical-based, too. It also gets Waterfall, Dragon Claw and Ice Punch, which were all accessible to Feraligatr before Diamond and Pearl, but were special-based nonetheless. And now they aren't. That's terrific. Additionally, it learns Brick Break, Shadow Claw, Rock Slide, Iron Tail, Outrage, Focus Punch and Aqua Jet, as well as the staple move of every competitive Feraligatr's moveset: Dragon Dance. This move increases its speed and attack by one stage each, which makes it an excellent late-game sweeper and allows you to run an Adamant-natured Feraligatr. The rest of its moveset should consist of only damaging moves (preferably Waterfall, Ice Punch and either Crunch or Earthquake), while a Life Orb powers up its moves even further and its hidden ability Sheer Force removes any additional effects of moves - if any - in exchange for even more power. You could also run a Swords Dance Feraligatr, as this move lets it gain a two-stage attack increase in one turn, but it's generally better to stick with Dragon Dance. Either way, Feraligatr has become a force to be reckoned with.

Never fuck with alligators!

Amazing realistic fan art of Totodile (left), Croconaw (right) and Feraligatr (middle).

Although Meganium is still - and will always be - my favorite Johto starter, Feraligatr has taken second place after I played HeartGold and SoulSilver (those are technically Gen. IV games), which moves Typhlosion to the third spot. Feraligatr has a great design, amazing competitive utility and an interesting flavor to it, but it's just half a star shy from a perfect rating. I think I've pissed off some passionate Meganium haters out there, but you know what? I'm totally fine with that!

Rating: 4.5/5

#155 - #157: Cyndaquil, Quilava & Typhlosion

You know, even though I like Maganium a lot more than Typhlosion now, I always ended up choosing Cyndaquil - and sometimes even Totodile - when doing a Gold or Silver playthrough. There's no denying it: out of all the Johto starters, Typhlosion is the best option to use in-game.

Art of Cyndaquil from Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon.

But I don't even know where to start with Cyndaquil. Its origin is an absolute mess, as it seems to be based on several mammals. Due to its long snout and the spiky fire coming from its back, the inspiration for Cyndaquil might be drawn from echidnas, which are hedgehog-like mammals that can lay eggs, very much like the platypus. It shares traits with shrew mice, which aren't actually rodents but are in fact a much closer relative of moles. Cyndaquil's Japanese name, Hinoarashi (ヒノアラシ), is a combination of hi (fire) and yama-arashi (porcupine) and suggests that it might in fact be based on a porcupine, although it is definitely a wordplay on hi no arashi, which means 'storm of fire' and sounds about right when it comes to Cyndaquil. Its French and German names of Héricendre and Feurigel, on the other hand, contain hérisson and Igel, respectively, which both mean 'hedgehog'. Finally, its closed eyes may be a reference to baby honey badgers, the creature its fully evolved form is based on. Can we just state that Cyndaquil is a shrew-hedgehog-mole-porcupine-echidna-badger? Naw? Let's just stick with its Pokédex classification as the 'Fire Mouse Pokémon' then, because I'm not even going to question that anymore.

This Cyndaquil plush is totally cute.

As if Cyndaquil's origin isn't already majorly confusing, Quilava's is kind of foggy, too. Whereas its appearance seems to be based on a stoat due to the lack of a tail and the fur on its upper body being significantly darker than that on its underbelly, its spotted fur and slender body might be references to the paca, a South American rodent. The porcupine and hedgehog are also still represented in its Japanese, French and German names, while its evolution Typhlosion is most probably based on weasels, wolverines and honey badgers. But Typhlosion is a whole other story, because its foreign names don't even contain the names of animals even more (except its Korean name, which contains beom, meaning 'tiger'; like, what?). Instead, the prefix ty- might stem from a plethora of things, the most obvious being 'typhoon'. Tephra is fragmental material produced by a volcanic eruption, and as Typhlosion is a volcanic Pokémon, it is not implausible that tephra might have been the inspiration for its name. It could also derive from Typhon, a giant from Greek mythology who fathered many other monsters with his wife Echidna. You see where I'm going with this? Additionally, it might come from the Greek word typhus or τύφος, meaning smoky or hazy, which refers to one of its characteristics that I will talk about later.

Hot damn. I know that many Pokémon are based on more than just one thing, but Cyndaquil and its evolutions really take the cake. This is ridiculous.

Pretty cool fan art of Quilava.

With all this bullshit about Cyndaquil, Quilava and Typhlosion's origin you'd almost think they don't have any distinguishable natures. Cyndaquil is a timid creature that curls up into a ball when it feels intimidated and the flames on its back burn more vigorously when it is startled, upset or angry. As you can see in the images above, Cyndaquil's eyes are never open, and no one knows whether they can be opened or not. Quilava's Pokédex entries aren't that impressive, however: the only characteristic worth mentioning is that it likes to show off how ferociously its fire blazes to its opponent before battle. Sometimes Game Freak really like to play Captain Obvious, in this case by stating Quilava can use its fire to launch a flame attack. Well, duh! Typhlosion, on the other hand, turns so incredibly hot when its anger peaks that anything that comes into touch with it will go up in flames. You know when it is ready to battle when its incredible body heat makes the air around it shimmer, which is also a defense mechanism in order to hide itself. In addition, Typhlosion can create huge explosions that burn everything to cinders by rubbing its fur together. That's when you know something is scorchingly hot!

Typhlosion.

Unfortunately, Typhlosion is heavily outclassed by other fire-type Pokémon in the RU (rarely used) tier that have much more utility to it, especially because they usually have a second typing. Also, Typhlosion doesn't have all that much diversity, so you're limited in your choices when it comes to offensive moves. What makes Typhlosion stand out, however, is Eruption. This move deals a massive 150 damage when Typhlosion is at full HP but loses its power when it is worn out. However, priority moves like Sucker Punch and Aqua Jet and entry hazards like Spikes and Stealth Rock make it very tricky to use, so you'll need to teach Typhlosion some moves that are more reliable, most notably Fire Blast and Focus Blast. The latter is an inaccurate fighting-type move that is often called 'Focus Miss', and for a good reason, but it provides for some decent coverage and it is all Typhlosion can get, unless you want to breed Extrasensory on Cyndaquil. Which, by the way, would not be such a terrible idea, as the Choice Specs Typhlosion will hold power up all of its special-based moves by 50%. And when used on a sun team, Solar Beam is an excellent option, because this grass-type move doesn't require a turn to charge when the sun is up. To top it off, you should give Typhlosion a Timid nature to take full advantage of its excellent speed, while its hidden ability Flash Fire increases its special attack by one stage and negates any damage when it is hit by a fire-type move. And if you want some extra power in a pinch, you might want to consider Blaze instead.

Typhlosion looks impressive, and because it is a hard- and fast-hitting Pokémon it's usually the best choice to start off with (as a Cyndaquil) when doing a regular playthrough. You'd be sure to OHKO a lot of Pokémon, but since HeartGold and SoulSilver it is even outclassed by Feraligatr, who really benefited from the physical/special split in Gen. IV. Ultimately, Tyhlosion is the Johto starter I like the least, although that does not mean that I don't like it overall.

Rating: 4/5

#152 - #154: Chikorita, Bayleef & Meganium

It's been almost 10 months since I started this blog and I've only now managed to complete reviewing the Pokémon from the Kanto Pokédex. But there are five more generations of Pokémon to come (six if you count the upcoming games Sun and Moon), and next up are the Pokémon from the Gold/Silver/Crystal era, so I'm definitely not done yet.

This is the Japanese promotional flyer for
Pokémon Gold and Silver. Chikorita still had
a yellowish body. which was changed into
light green in Pokémon Crystal. 

Let's start with the first Pokémon in the Johto Pokédex, shall we? The very first generation started with the grass-, fire- and water-type starters, respectively, and Game Freak have upheld that tradition ever since. I never liked Venusaur, but from Johto to Unova my favorite starter Pokémon was always the grass-type starter, until Greninja broke the streak in 2013. Chikorita, however, is often perceived as the worst starter Pokémon, something I do absolutely not agree with. Okay, it has to be said that all Johto starters were a little underwhelming, especially because their stat distributions aren't quite right. Meganium is a defensive Pokémon that doesn't really have attacking prowess, which is often quite necessary in normal playthroughs, and Feraligatr was a physical attacker that could learn mostly special-based moves. At the time, the type determined whether moves were physical or special and the water type was still entirely special-based in Gold and Silver. But the worst starter is and will always be Venusaur, at least in my own very humble opinion. That ugly smallpoxed reptile snatches all the love away from Meganium, especially since it got an even uglier Mega evolution, but Meganium really doesn't deserve all the hate it gets. While there are grass-type Pokémon that are either physically bulky or specially bulky, Meganium can be both: just invest EVs in HP and either defense or special defense. You can slap a Calm or Bold nature onto it, respectively, and make it hold Leftovers for some recovery every turn, which only add up to its natural bulk and make it a tough opponent to take down. If you're not going for a sun team, which I don't really recommend in the first place, you might want to ignore its hidden ability Leaf Guard and go for its normal ability Overgrow instead, which powers up grass-type moves when Meganium's health gets below ⅓. That might come in handy when you're using Giga Drain.

Meganium.

Even though it's true that it is outclassed by some other bulky grass types, it has to be said that Meganium has some pretty sweet moves in its aresenal that makes it stand out. First off, it has access to Aromatherapy, a move that not too many Pokémon can learn and that heals every Pokémon in your team from a status condition. Synthesis is more common, but it provides for some decent HP recovery, while Giga Drain does damage and restores Meganium's HP by half the damage done. That makes it a pain in the ass even more. As for the last slot, you could teach Meganium Dragon Tail or Toxic or whatever, but it has access to an even niftier move: Counter, wich deals double the damage done to Meganium by a physical move. If you have a physically bulky Meganium and you are certain you can take a hit from a strong foe, you can just hit Counter and blow them the fuck away. At least you'll have the element of surprise. Safer options are the screens, which raise the defense (Reflect) and special defense (Light Screen) of the entire team. And although I am not really into competitive play, I once surprised my opponent with - believe it or not - a physically offensive Meganium (Adamant nature, holding a Choice Band) with a moveset consisting of Petal Blizzard, Earthquake, Iron Tail and Outrage. Not exactly a common way to use it, but it put in some work and I had a lot of fun with it. I still recommend using Meganium as a support Pokémon, though.

One big, happy family. 

But what about its flavor? Well, Chikorita and its evolutions are obviously based on sauropods, humongous dinosaurs with very long necks, long tails, small heads and pillar-like legs (you probably remember the brachiosaurus from Jurassic Park, right?). Or at least Bayleef and Meganium are; Chikorita looks more like a pear, with that leaf on its head and its body shape. It uses the leaf to determine the temperature and humidity of the surrounding air and to give off a soothing aroma. That aroma intensifies when Chikorita evolves into Bayleef: the fragrance wafting from the curled-up leaves around its neck gains a spicy scent that exhibits various beneficial effects on itself, nearby people or other Pokémon who inhale it, having a combination of energizing, stimulating, mood-improving and healing effects. This is kinda curious, because Bayleef's vegetable part is based on the leaves of the bay laurel (bay leaves), and rather than spicy they have a bitter and herbal taste similar to thyme. Admittedly, the oil extracted from these leaves is used for healing and as a stimulant in aromatherapy. Meganium's fragrance, on the other hand, is almost hallucination-inducing. It gives those who stand near the impression of being in a clean and lush forest, while it retains the calming and spiriting effects of Chikorita and Bayleef's aromas as well: it contains a substance that soothes aggressive feelings. Also, Meganium's breath can revive dead grass and plants. No mean feat!

This realistic take on Chikorita, Bayleef and Meganium is amazing! 

Meganium is love, Meganium is life! Literally, ha ha ha.

Anyway, on a more serious note, the main reason why I love Chikorita and its kin is BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIGGIN' DINOSAURS!!! Their designs are also very well-thought-out and you're probably just calming down by looking at them. Unless you hate Meganium, that is, but I don't know why you would hate it in the first place. Also, I always enjoyed Ash's Chikorita (later a Bayleef) when it was on TV, being the feisty, stubborn little thing it is. I can even remember Bayleef having some kind of crush on Ash, which was hilarious and adorable at the same time. To all y'all haters out there: I am giving these Pokémon a perfect rating, period.

Rating: 5/5

#151: Mew

At the left you can see Mew's old art, in which the tips of its feet
and tail are a darker shade of pink than the rest of its body. For
comparison, Mew's new official artwork can be seen on the right,
in which it has a uniform pink color.

Awwww, would you take a look at that? IT'S SO CUTE!

Yeah, Mew is much more adorable than its clone and I've always liked it more than Mewtwo just because of this feature. Now, quite some things have been said about Mew in Mewtwo's entry, especially with regard to the first Pokémon movie, so I'm not going to give in-depth details about that again; I'm going to focus entirely on Mew instead. One thing can be said, though: Mew has an entirely different personality than Mewtwo. Whereas Mewtwo was created to be a battle machine and has developed a resentment towards the human race as a result of being used by people for their own personal gain, Mew has shown a much more cheerful, playful and selfless personality. Mew is incredibly adaptable and is shown to travel freely through air and water alike. It can make itself invisible at will and therefore it is very rarely seen, making scholars declare it extinct or assume it to be a mirage. It only shows itself to those who are pure of heart and have a desire to see it, only making its altruistic nature more evident.

This special Ancient Mew card was one of my most valued
possessions when I was still collecting TCG cards. It even had a
special back print, shown on the right.

But Mew is especially interesting in the fact that it is said to have DNA that contains the genetic codes of all Pokémon in existence, which is why it is believed to be their ancestor. This is also the reason why it can learn all kinds of techniques, being able to learn every TM, HM and Move Tutor move in the games (except those moves exclusive to a particular group of or individual Pokémon, such as Draco Meteor, Secret Sword or Dragon Ascent). I'll discuss Mew's competitive use later, but this feature indisputably makes Mew very versatile. The fact that it is believed to be the ancestor of all Pokémon makes many believe Mew is based on the recapitulation theory, a largely discredited biological hypothesis that, in the development from embryo to adult, animals go through stages resembling or representing successive stages in the evolution of their remote ancestors. That is why quite a few people think Mew resembles a vertebrate embryo, but I think it looks more like a combination between a cat and a jerboa, a desert rodent with large hind legs, small forepaws and a long, skinny tail. Sounds about right when you look at Mew, right?

But Mew wasn't only the center of my affection in the games; I also possessed a couple of valued Mew items, including a special Ancient Mew card that was issued in 2000 with the purchase of a ticket for the theatrical run of Pokémon the Movie 2000: The Power of One, limited to only the first week. I actually went to see that movie when I was ten years old, heh. I was too late to receive Ancient Mew, though, but I managed to get my hands on two copies of them later on.

OMG, look at Mew... It's such a cutie! 

The only thing that really bugs me is that Mew, even though it does make sense, isn't stronger than Mewtwo is. But with very well-rounded stats across the board - it has base 100 stats in everything - its competitive utility is nothing to sneeze at. While it can be used both offensively and defensively, it is outclassed by bulkier psychic types such as Cresselia and Slowbro and stronger ones such as Mega Gardevoir, Latios, Mega Medicham and Metagross. However, its excellent stats across the board make it hard to take down and easy to fight with. Especially when you build a bulky Mew set, you're sure Mew will stay on the battlefield for a while. With a Calm or Careful nature (depends on your choice to use either Psychic or Knock Off, respectively, as its only attacking move), the Leftovers for a little recovery every turn, and a moveset consisting of Taunt to prevent stalling, Roost for some healing and Will-O-Wisp to cripple especially physical-based foes, you'll be set. And instead of Taunt you can also run Defog to remove entry hazards or Stealth Rock to set those up yourself, while an offensive Mew would not be a bad idea, either. I think you should find out what Mew can do yourself by experimenting with all kinds of crazy movesets, because there are really too many of them to discuss here.

And now, before we move on to my conclusion (I bet you know by now what that's gonna be), take a look at some incredibly adorable GIFs of Mew I just can't deprive you of.

Yeah, I'm guessing those GIFs put a smile on your face, am I right? AM I RIGHT??? They definitely put a smile on my face, that's for sure.

At any rate, you probably know by now that I am a sucker for cute Pokémon (well, cute Pokémon that aren't exactly supposed to be cute) and it probably won't come as a surprise to you that I'm giving Mew a perfect rating, either. I've loved this thing ever since I saw the first Pokémon movie and it was so refreshing to see those tranquil scenes of Mew between the violent and turbulent scenes with the bitter and indignant Mewtwo. Despite having no Mega evolutions and being weaker stat-wise, Mew is superior to Mewtwo in every aspect. Mew is chill. Mewtwo is not.

Also, Mew is apparently not a legendary Pokémon, but a mythical Pokémon. These are distinctive from legendaries by the fact that they are not easily capturable in the games because they are usually event-only. Good to know.

Rating: 5/5

#150: Mewtwo

Giovanni facing 'his' Mewtwo, disguised in its robotic suit, at
Team Rocket's HQ.

You know, out of all the evil teams in the Pokémon franchise, Team Rocket was probably the most wicked. And with Team Rocket I don't mean those pathetic fuck-ups who go by the names of Jessie and James; I am talking about the organized-crime syndicate led by Giovanni. You see, Giovanni is a first-class mob boss, aiming to become - and remain - the most powerful and wealthy criminal in the Pokémon world. He heard of the legend of the mythical Pokémon Mew and decided he wanted to create a Pokémon more powerful and terrific than that, and through cloning he managed to create Mewtwo (well, his scientists did). Giovanni even used Mewtwo, disguised in a robotic suit, in a Gym battle against Gary Oak in the 63rd episode of the anime's first season, "The Battle of the Badge". This resulted in Gary losing the battle. Not that Gary needed the Earth Badge to begin with, as he had ten badges already, but still... Anyway, two episodes later, in "Showdown at the Po-ké Corral", Mewtwo causes an explosion at Team Rocket's HQ and escapes to New Island.

Dr. Fuji's clones from left to right: Charmandertwo, Squirtletwo,
Ambertwo, Bulbasaurtwo and a young Mewtwo.

That's when the very first Pokémon movie comes into play: Mewtwo is the center of attention in this movie and we see its actual backstory in a ten-minute anime short added to TV airings of the film in Japan. That short actually also focuses on Dr. Fuji, a scientist who lost his daughter, Amber, and seeks to bring her back to life by cloning her. When Giovanni's explorers find fossilized remains of Mew in Guyana (which is a real country, by the way), Giovanni takes interest in Dr. Fuji's ambitions and asks him to extract DNA from the remains and make a succesful clone of Mew. Dr. Fuji accepts the offer and succeeds in cloning Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, Amber and Mew, whom he calls Bulbasaurtwo, Charmandertwo, Squirtletwo, Ambertwo and, of course, Mewtwo. The clones fail to show consciousness, but they are able to communicate with each other by using telepathy. However, the clones of the Kanto starters die and Ambertwo follows soon after, which leaves only a highly emotional Mewtwo. To calm it down, the scientists inject a memory-wiping serum that allows it to slowly mature while it sleeps.

This serum is very important, because it is assumed that this caused Mewtwo to have lost its ability to be compassionate. Also, it is said that the reason that Mewtwo is the only clone to have survived is because the creature it originates from, Mew, possesses an immortal life force. Makes sense.

The official poster for the first Pokémon movie.

The rest of Mewtwo's story we see in Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back, in which Mewtwo breaks out of the tank it was cloned in. Upon finding out that the scientists saw it as nothing more than than result of their project, it blows up the whole goddamn place, presumably killing everyone inside. That's when Giovanni's helicopter arrives. Giovanni persuades Mewtwo to join him so that it can become stronger, but Mewtwo starts to develop a hatred towards mankind and soon becomes tired of being used by Giovanni. It then escapes, which we also see in "Showdown at the Po-ké Corral", and vows to begin its reign on Earth. Using a Fearow to spy on Trainers and a Dragonite to deliver invitations, Mewtwo lures the best Trainers to New Island, where it rebuilt the laboratory it was born in, in order to clone the Trainers' Pokémon and prove that the originals are no match for its clones. To succeed, Mewtwo created a variation on the regular Poké Ball, which is very much like a Master Ball in the sense that it captures any Pokémon without failure, but the only difference is that the Mewtwo Ball can also capture a Pokémon from inside its regular Poké Ball! A fight breaks out between the original Pokémon and their clones (including Mew and Mewtwo), until Ash steps up and demands the fighting to stop, only to get hit by two blasts of energy from Mew and Mewtwo. This caused Ash to turn into stone, much to the sadness of Pikachu, who fruitlessly attempts to wake Ash up by electrifying him over and over again. After Pikachu starts to cry, the other Pokémon follow Pikachu's example, and the many tears magically resurrect Ash. This is the point where Mewtwo realizes that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant: it is one does with the gift of life that determines one's destiny. It reasons that it would be better if no one remembered the events that had transpired, and erases the memories of all people and Pokémon on the island and transports them back to the mainland.

This creepy piece of Mewtwo fan art is
awesome!

Its Pokédex entries are a little different from the Mewtwo we see in the movie. Yes, it was engineered to be the ultimate battle machine, but that is not the reason why it can only think of defeating its foes. Although Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald state that the scientists who created Mewtwo failed to endow it with a compassionate heart, this is not entirely true. Mewtwo did show compassion after the loss of Ambertwo, but because the scientists at the lab on New Island gave it a serum to calm it down and let it forget what happened, it developed a hatred towards the human race. Then again, these Pokédex entries stem from the video games, in which Mewtwo's origin is an entirely different story. According to scientific logs found in the Pokémon Mansion on Cinnabar Island, Mewtwo was born of a pregnant Mew found deep in the jungles of Guyana, whose embryo had been tampered with in order to alter its DNA. It was held in the mansion, where a scientist performed horrific gene-splicing experiments that made it vicous and very powerful. It eventually broke free from the mansion, destroying it in the process, and sought shelter in Cerulean Cave, which the player can only enter after proving their skill at the Indigo League. Of course, the story provided in the video games wasn't really sufficient for the anime, so the anime creators needed a whole other Mewtwo story for the movie. Such a backstory is fine for Red, Blue and Yellow, but Mewtwo just sits in Cerulean Cave waiting for you to catch it in your Master Ball, which is hardly proper material for a full-fledged movie. Also, I can only imagine the horror-like shenanigans described in the games aren't suited to be used in a children's cartoon.

Mewtwo's Mega evolutions. On the left you can see Mega Mewtwo X, on the right
Mega Mewtwo Y. Both are drawn by Ken Sugimori and serve as their respective
official artworks. 

As for the competitive scene, I dont really have to explain that you can just go out there and commit cold-blooded murder. With a base stat total of 680, Mewtwo is one of the strongest Pokémon ever. It is bested only by Arceus, Black and White Kyurem, and several Mega evolutions - including its own - and equaled by a few other legendaries, usually game mascots depicted on the box art (with the exception of Hoopa Unbound). Its lowest stats are its defenses, which sit at base 90 and are very reasonable at worst. Mewtwo is also really versatile, because it can learn physical- and special based moves of so many different types and it can make good use of all of them, too. Especially as one of its Megas (like Charizard, Mewtwo has two), its attacking stats are off the charts, with Mega Mewtwo X being the strongest physical attacker in the game and Mega Mewtwo Y being the strongest special attacker. And I mean the strongest of all time. Damn.

Cloned Mewtwo floating in its tank while Mew is looking on. 

So, Mewtwo probably has the most extensive and versatile backstory I've seen so far. Well, while discussing the Pokémon on this blog, anyway. Design-wise it doesn't resemble Mew in the slightest; it looks more like an alien and doesn't have any feline traits that Mew does have, at least in my opinion. But that's not why I'm not giving it a perfect rating, something others tend to do because it is one of the original legendaries. Mewtwo is great, but because I like Mew a whole lot more, I'm giving Mewtwo half a star fewer.

By the way, what the fuck is UP with Mega Mewtwo Y? Mega Mewtwo X is pretty cool, and the Shadow version of it in the recently released Pokkén Tournament looks pretty goddamn awesome, but the Y Mega looks utterly ridiculous, with its skinny appearance and its tail on its head. Ugh, it shouldn't have existed in the first place. Well, here you have yet another reason why Mewtwo is not getting 5 stars from me.

Rating: 4.5/5

#147 - #149: Dratini, Dragonair & Dragonite

For comparison: Dratini (right) and Dragonair
(left) look significantly different than Dragonite
(floating above Dratini and Dragonair).

Okay, so... I understand the concept of evolution and I know Pokémon evolution is a whole different take on this concept. But usually, Pokémon that can evolve gradually change into a final form that looks like its pre-evolution(s), whether by shape, appearance, logic, color scheme or all of the above. Bulbasaur is a dinosaur-like reptile with a seed bulb on its back and is known to evolve into Ivysaur, who has a flower on its back that's about to bloom, and then one more time into Venusaur, a huge-ass dinosaur whose flower has finally fully bloomed. Squirtle is a turtle whose final form is an even bigger turtle with fucking cannons on its back, and Charmander's change into Charizard goes quite smoothly, even though both Charmander and Charmeleon look more like salamanders than reptiles or (flying) dragons. Butterfree doesn't even remotely resemble its pre-evolutions, but it's common knowledge that ugly catterpillars change into beautiful butterflies. The evolution of Magikarp into Gyarados seems odd, but it's based on the Chinese legend of how carp leaping over the Dragon Gate become dragons. But how on Earth does the beautiful, elegant, serpent-like Dragonair evolve into the ugly, plump and clumsy Dragonite? It's... it's just... I don't get it. I really don't get it. And to make matters even worse, Dragonite's shiny form has a sickly green color to it, which is so unlike Dragonair's shiny, with its pinkish body and the bright golden color of its beads. It's so pretty and elegant. That can't exactly be said of Dragonite, not even of its regular form.

Dragonair looks really savage in this amazing piece of fan art! In
fact, I think it resembles Norse sea serpent Jörmungandr a little
here.

It's even more confusing when you realize that Dratini, Dragonair and Dragonite all seem to be based on the same entities: ryū, Chinese and Japanese dragons that are often depicted as serpent-shaped water deities that traditionally symbolize auspicious powers, particularly control over water, rainfall, typhoons and floods, and are often thought to be bringers of strength and good luck. And that's what Dratini and Dragonair's flavor is all about, too. Dratini (despite its name some Dratini can exceed 6'06", which is actually quite big) is filled with life energy and thus it is constantly growing, shedding its skin regularly in a lair behind a waterfall. Its constant growth may be a nod to Jörmungandr, a sea serpent from Norse mythology that is believed to be the middle child of Loki (if you don't know who that is, you should watch The Avengers). According to Norse folklore, the god Odin took Loki's three children and threw Jörmungandr in the great ocean that encircles Midgard, causing him to grow so rapidly that he was able to surround the Earth and grasp his own tail.

This picture really emphasizes Dragonair's beauty.

And let's face it, Dratini and Draonair are based on sea serpents. Dragonair has such a large amount of energy in its body that it can discharge it through the crystalline orbs on its neck and tail, causing its body to brighten and give off an aura that can change climate conditions in its vicinity. By itself, it exudes a gentle aura of mysteriousness. The beads on its tail may refer to the rattlesnake being one of the things that may have been the inspiration for Dragonair. Another is Hermes, the Greek god of transitions and boundaries; an intercessor between the mortal and the divine; the protector and patron of herdsman, thieves, oratory and wit, literature and poetry, athletics and sports, invention and trade, roads, boundaries, and travelers; the conductor of souls into the afterlife; and the emissary and messenger of the gods. And only because the wing-like ears on Dragonair's head, with which it is sometimes seen flying, resemble the wings on Hermes's hat and sandals. Notwithstanding, it's more likely that Dragonair is based on the imugi, a species of lesser serpentine dragons that all full-fledged dragons once were, according to Korean mythology. After an imugi lives a thousand years, it will have to catch a jewel (called a Yeouiju) that falls from the sky in order to become a true dragon. The jewel on Dragonair's neck might also be a reference to the Japanese folktale The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, in which the princess Kaguya-hime challenges her suitors to bring her back some items, including a colored jewel from a dragon's neck.

Whew. All these legends are dizzying me right now, and I haven't even had the chance to discuss Dragonite yet. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a longer article than I anticipated.

Fan art of two Dragonair, one of them shiny, embracing each
other. Yet again, this image emphasizes how pretty Dragonair
actually is, as opposed to Dragonite.

Okay. So. Dragonite. I may have given you the suggestion that I hate this thing, but I don't. I just think Dragonair is prettier and more elegant and its body parts are proportinal to its shape, size and appearance. This is not the case with Dragonite: despite being bigger and having a bulkier physique (Dragonair probably only reaches a length of 13'01" when you stretch it out), the horn on its head is actually smaller than Dragonair's, and the wings are too small relative to the size of its body. Beats me how it can fly faster than the speed of sound, being able to circle the globe in 16 hours at a pace of 1,556 mph (Mach 2). Dragonite is an intelligent and benevolent Pokémon that is known for its altruism: it searches for and saves drowning sailors and leads lost and foundering ships back to shore, hence its nickname 'Guardian of the Sea'. It is even often described as a marine Pokémon that is said to make its home somewhere in the sea. But as Chinese and Japanese dragons are often shown as being serpentine, Dragonite definitely isn't. It shares some traits with 'normal' dragons, but not too many, and I don't think we should deviate from Dratini and Dragonair's flavor anyway. Because, after all, Dragonite is a sea dragon of some sort, and I guess I'll just have to deal with the fact that Game Freak have done a bad job creating a proper evolution for Dragonair.

Some pretty cool fan art of Dragonite.

Well, at least design-wise. Because competitively, Dragonite is one of the best Pokémon to use! With a base stat total of 600 (and being the final form in a three-stage evolution line), Dragonite is considered a pseudo-legendary Pokémon, alongside Tyranitar, Salamence, Metagross, Garchomp, Hydreigon and Goodra. With the exception of Metagross, pseudo-legendaries are usually dragon-type or dragon-like Pokémon that are hard to obtain, emphasizing the power and rarity of the dragon type. This was especially apparent in the first two generations: Dratini and its evolutions were the only dragon types in Red, Blue and Yellow, and Kingdra was the only dragon-type addition to Gold, Silver and Crystal. It was almost as if they were exclusive to those who could tame them, but at least you get something in return: Dragonite is crazy strong and has access to some pretty sweet moves, if I may say so. One move is a must-have for Dragonite: Dragon Dance increases its attack and speed by one stage each. If you can pull off one or two of those, you can fire away with moves like Dragon Claw, Earthquake, Aqua Tail, Outrage, the elemental punches, Brick Break, Steel Wing, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Power-Up Punch, Waterfall, Dragon Rush, Iron Tail, Extreme Speed, Iron Head, Superpower... Whatever floats your boat (no pun intended). With a Jolly nature, a Lum Berry as its held item (heals any status condition) and its hidden ability Multiscale (halves the damage from an incoming move when Dragonite is at full HP), you'll be set. With Dragon Dance in its arsenal, an Adamant Dragonite might not be a bad idea, and a Life Orb can be chosen over a Lum Berry instead. Just be aware that this item breaks Multiscale. Finally, a Choice Band set isn't uncommon, but you won't be able to use Dragon Dance, which is kind of a shame, to be honest.

In the end, Dragonite is an absolute MONSTER in competitive play, although I don't really like it design-wise. Dragonair has always appealed to me more than Dragonite did, and it has become one of my favorite Pokémon to date. It probably won't surprise you that Dragonair gets a perfect rating and Dragonite doesn't, and they're the first pre-evo and final stage within the same generation to pull that trick. (Magneton and Magmar did it before, but their evolutions are both Gen. IV Pokémon and were introduced 11 years after their pre-evos were.)

Rating Dragonair: 5/5

Rating Dragonite: 4/5

#146: Moltres

Moltres as it appears in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii.

So, the third and last Kanto legendary bird is Moltres, and I have to say that its flavor is less interesting than Zapdos's and that it's generally a whole lot less impressive than Articuno. That's how I think about it nowadays, at least, because I actually disliked Zapdos as a kid, as I mentioned in the previous entry. And when I say that Moltres's flavor is not all that interesting, I mean that it's downright bland. Every flap of its wings causes a dazzling flash of flames (no shit, its wings and tail are made of fire), it can heal itself when it dives into an active volcano (not impressive either, Magmar can do that as well), and it can bring an early springtime to cold and wintry lands. Moltres is obviously based on the phoenix, a quite well-known mythical firebird creature that has little mystery to it anymore due to its appearance in several fantasy films and TV shows, most notably the Harry Potter series. It has to be said, though, that Moltres doesn't entirely go up in flames and rise from its own ashes when it dies (I don't even know if it dies at all), so it is most likely based on a combination of the phoenix and firebirds from other folklores. And there are quite a few of them, so let's get started.

I absolutely LOVE this piece of fan art of Articuno (left), Zapdos (right) and Moltres
(middle). SO AWESOME!!! 

It shares traits with the Egyptian Bennu, a deity linked with the sun, creation and rebirth that may have been the inspiration for the phoenix in Greek mythology; the Iranian legend of the Huma, a bird from Persian mytholoy that is said to live its entire life flying invisibly high above the Earth and is commonly depicted as phoenix-like; a firebird from Slavic folklore called the Zhar-ptitsa or Zhar-ptica - depending on what country in the Balkans you're visiting - that is described as a large bird with majestic plumage that glows brightly emitting red, orange and yellow light, one single feather being able to light up an entire room; and the Vermilion Bird, which is one of the Four Symbols of the Chinese constellations and is a bird from Eastern Asian mythology (it is known as Zhū Què in Chinese, Suzaku in Japanese, Jujak in Korean and Chu Tước in Vietnamese) that has a five-colored plumage perpetually covered in flames. If you google the last one in the images department, you're bound to think that was the main inspiration for Moltres, not in the least because Pokémon spawned from a Japanese game company. And Japanese folklore isn't seldom the inspiration for many Pokémon, so at least it's a very plausible theory.

Phew. And now I'm done describing each and every goddamn firebird. I don't have all fucking day, y'know.

This is so cute.
(At the request of the creator, Lyns, I'm including the link to her DeviantArt. Definitely
check it out, she's made some cute watercolor drawings, including Pokémon ones.)

As far as other fire/flying types go, Moltres is easily outclassed and outchosen by Charizard, Ho-Oh and Talonflame in competitive play; the first because it has two very useful Megas, the second because it is stronger and has a more diverse movepool (although it can only be used in the Uber tier), and the last because of its ability Gale Wings. Moltres has none of those things, so it'll have to fall back on its stats instead, which are pretty good. It has excellent base special attack of 125, very good base attack of 100 and decent HP, defenses and speed. It's too bad Moltres has such a good attack stat, because it's not gonna use it. Plus, its speed kinda needs a boost. You could surprise the opponent with the Power Herb/Sky Attack combo, but that's more hassle than it's worth, so you should focus on its excellent special attack instead. Actually, there is one way to use Moltres properly, and that is to run a Timid or Modest one with Fire Blast, Hurricane, Will-O-Wisp and Roost, holding a Life Orb or the Choice Specs. Flamethrower or Heat Wave could replace Fire Blast for some more accuracy (and therefore reliability), and Hurricane may be replaced by Air Slash for the exact same reason. Having Moltres hold the Choice Scarf is an option, but due to its very decent HP and defenses it's able to take a hit anyway, so the above set is the best option.

Moltres's official artwork.

While writing this article it dawned on me that I forgot to mention Articuno and Zapdos's abilities, but all legendary birds have Pressure as their main ability, which deducts one additional PP from a foe's move if Moltres is directly targeted by that move. In other words: it's nothing special. Unless you want their hidden abilities, but Zapdos and Moltres come equipped with Static and Flame Body, respectively, which have a chance to paralyze or burn the foe, respectively, which in turn can be more easily accomplished by just using Thunder Wave or Will-O-Wisp, respectively. The only interesting hidden ability may be Articuno's Snow Cloak, which raises its evasiveness when it's hailing on the battlefield, but you're generally better off with Pressure after all, as hail isn't such a popular weather condition to pull off.

Hmmm... Maybe I'll have to adjust my opinion about Moltres a little. There are a plethora of folklores and legends that have been the inspiration for its design, which I still like better than Zapdos's. But because it will never exceed Articuno as my favorite legendary Kantonian bird, I just can't give it a perfect rating. Consequently, Moltres will have to do with a 4.5-star rating, which is still nothing to sneeze at.

Rating: 4.5/5